Ambivalence
by Twilightx28
Summary: Best friends,Edward & Bella,uprooted from London now live in Chicago.Bella is soon to stuggle with new-found feelings for Edward,who unfortunetly,has a girlfriend.Many unexpected events occur & finally Bella tells him.His reaction isn't as expected.BxE
1. Prologue

**Authors Note- I've been thinking about it since the beginning of July of 2009. I hope to see some familar fans, and new ones.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight**

**Updates will be every Friday, but since this is the Prologue, I will post an actual chapter tomorrow.**

**Full Description-**

_Edward and Bella were born in London, England. They grow up together, just as _

_their parents did together. Charlie ( Bella's Father) gets an offer in the _

_United States, Illinois, to become the chief police. Though Esme and Carlisle _

_love London, they don't want Bella and Edward to be apart. Esme thinks silently _

_to herself that they are lifelong soulmates and are meant to be. They also want _

_to see somewhere beside London. They tag along to the United States with Bella _

_and her parents, Renee and Charlie. Esme and Renee work in the same buisness as _

_interior designers and Carlisle is the chief of medicene at the local _

_hospital._

_Edward and Bella had moved with their parents from London at the age of _

_fourteen and start out freshmen at their highschool. They are brought into the _

_Clique that incluces shy Jasper, fun-loving and obnoxious Emmett, Hyper and _

_shopping obsessed Alice and Ice-Queen Rosalie, but also loves her friends _

_deeply. They get along amazingly and are friends from the start._

_In Edward's sophmore year he starts to develope a crush for Tanya Denali, the _

_schools well known popular girl. She has been active with alot of the school, _

_but her beauty sways Edward._

_Bella watches silently as the man she loves, falls slowly in love with a girl _

_who is constantly rude to her. Both her good girlfriends, Rose and Alice; have _

_no idea of her infatuation with Edward or Tanya's constant rudeness. For Alice _

_and Rose are great friend with Tanya, and have been since childhood. Will they _

_accept the feelings Bella has for their friend Edward? Will they ever find _

_out?_

_When Edward starts acting differently, Bella has no idea how to handle the _

_situation. She is plagued with a horrible nightmare after a fight and Edward _

_soon realize's that what he has said, is what he fears. When things are peiced _

_back together after certain conflicts, he slowly starts to realize how much _

_Bella has changed over the years. Little does Edward know, that Bella is _

_purposly trying to get his attention._

_When certain events occur and Bella has finally gotten enough courage to tell _

_Edward how she feel's about him. How she truly feels. Will he except her love? _

_Or think it's wrong because they are life long? Is he scared?_

_Read as Bella tells her story of love, heartbreak. And secrets that she is _

_hesitant to tell._

_**Prologue**_

BPOV

Ghandi said whatever you do in life, will be insignificant.

I have no doubt that it's not true. Everything I do, has little value and importance.

I stood before him, the chandelier's lights gleaming down on our bodies. His gaze was fierce, intense, and made me want to look away from the shining emerald green. My throat felt like it was closing and my mind was running haywire. There were too many thoughts to process and I felt as if I were going to explode.

Edward stared at me, standing tall and stiff, as if he was ready for anything that I was going to tell him. I knew him better then he knows himself. Edward hates painful truths, it's just something that gets to him. And he has weakness's.

I am one of his.

All I wanted was for him to understand. Edward always understood me, but he couldn't seem to grasp how I feel for him, how my attachment to him ran deep,. He was the only thing keeping us apart. His hesitance and confusion. I wanted to run my hands through his gorgeous bronze hair and tell him that it's okay, that I understood his mixed feelings. But I was angry. Angry that he messed with my mind, knowing that it would be simple, easy.

" Bella," he whispered brokenly, shaking his head.

" Your scared!" I accused " Your scared because you know that I love you and you don't want to love me back." I screamed, a hand running through my untamed wild hair.

" I can't love you, Bella! Why can't you just understand."

" Because your reason is pathetic." I wailed. " Why did you kiss me tonight?! How could you mess with me like that?" I yelled

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, something he did when he was frusterated or nervous. I stared down at my battered converse and denim shorts, wanting to be swallowed by the world.

" I can't do this anymore. Maybe when your ready then we can talk this out. But as of now, I need to get out of here."

" Bella, don't leave me. I ca-"

I scoffed " What? You can't deal with me being gone? Well, I've waited for you for a long time and now you can wait until I am ready. For once, I am putting myself first and right now, I can't be here. The beginning of Junior year you started pushing me away, and that's why I was so messed up. You took my heart and just kicked it around like a toy and then it got better and you just...confused me. I don't know what to think now."

Reaching for my hoodie, I saw my mother enter the foyer, Carlisle, Esme and my father coming in and shuffling around the area. They all seemed to look surprised, except for Esme. She knew that I loved him, in some strange way. I have never spoken of my feelings for Edward to anyone, and now I had laid everything out for everyone to see. I felt bare... exposed.

" Sweetheart-" my mother started

" I. Can't. Be. Here. I can't walk around like I am fine when I'm in love with my best friend...And he... he doesn't love me back. I need to get my head straight, and I can't do it here."

I looked at her, tears in my eyes " I'll catch a flight to London and stay with gran and pappy. Please, understand." I begged, feeling like I was going to break apart at any given moment.

" Okay, be careful." she whispered

I looked towards Edward " When I come back, you can tell me how it is." I whispered, my voice just above a whisper.

I opened the front door and took one step out. I felt Edward's hand lock around my wrist tightly, stopping me from moving further. Slowly I turned around to look at him. He looked broken, upset and very confused. I understood the feeling. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek as he stayed unmoving.

" I love you," I whispered before running down the stairs.

**Authors Note- Anyone interested? Well, I hope I have people to follow me on this rocky roller coaster of love, confusion, and heartbreak? Obviously...**


	2. My Story Unfolding

**Authors Note- **_**READ ALL NOTES BELOW!**_

_**Ambivalence Meaning: The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, towards a person. **_

**Miss me? Well I missed seeing a full message box! Haha. Well I am so excited to write this story because it's been in my mind since summer 2009. I have so many idea's but more are welcomed! If you have questions, they will be answered here, in this Authors Note, keep an eye on it even if you don't ask questions because if you do have the question, it could already be here. I am not good at answering reviews, but I am good at whipping up chapters 1-2 times a week. Updates will come every Friday from here on out.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. ( I miss writing that)**

**Songs for this story.**

Invisible- Taylor Swift

I'm Only Me When I'm With You- Taylor Swift

Life After You- Daughtry

You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift

Set Fire to the Third Bar- Snow Patrol

Chances- Five For Fighting

Shake That Bubble- Young and Divine

Careless Whisper- Seether

You Found Me- The Fray

Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne

Never Say Never- The Fray

Syndicate- The Fray

I'm Not Over- Carolina Liar

Shattered- O.A.R.

Halfway There- Lifehouse

My Immortal- Evanescence

Never Let You Down- The Verve Pipe

The Kill- 30 Seconds To Mars

Listen To Your Heart- Roxette

Apologize- Timberland

Safteysuit- Stay

_**More will be added randomly in chapters notes.**_

**IMPORTANT!!! READ ALL THESE NOTES!!!!**

**This story is rated T for; Lots of swearing ( I warn you now, I have a horrible mouth when it comes to fanfiction, and it comes out in my stories, but not as much this one), a few sexual innuedos here and there, and future sexual content. I don't write lemons but there will be graphic make-out scene's, nothing further will be written. I do not want anybody under the age of fourteen, hell maybe even fifteen reading this story though. For under the age is too young and should not be reading because it's a little to early to taint your mind. Thanks for checking it out, but come back when your of my certain age limit please. One last time. IF YOUR UNDER 14 YEARS OF AGE, DO NOT READ! **

**Also! This is just to fore warn you. These first couple chapters are a little fillerish, just to show you all how Edward and Bella interact with eachother and how close they are. It's important to see that.**

**Dates will be set the beginning of the chapter, or will be told sometime in the chapter. I find it helpful not for just me, but for the readers to know what day, month and year. It helps me keep track of it all so I don't mix it up. Such as ages which I tend to mess up all the time and get screwed in the end.**

**MORE FOREWARNING!**

**If you read the original summary ( If you didnt go read its in the Prologue and in my Profile). Edward is going to be in character for the first 2-3 chapters, you will see subtle changes in Edward, but it won't last. A important string of event will occur in one of the upcoming chapters and it's important to start it early for the prologue to happen.**

**The prologue will happen in the 20-30 chapter range. I am thinking like 22 or 23, I will just have to see how this plays out as I write.**

**More!**

**I will take small idea's and quotes from movies, look at last chapters beginning. It's just something that I do. I like having familar lines sometimes, it's not a frequent occurance**

**BRITISH SLANG WILL BE USED RANDOMLY, IF POST WHAT THE FOREIGN WORDS MEAN ON THE BUTTOM AUTHORS NOTE'S! If I forget, then just ask and I will answer the review or Private Message.**

******Set in 2005******

BPOV

I felt Edward shift beside in bed as he heard our parent's talking openly in my bedroom. Today was the first day of junior year, and Edward and I always spent the night together when we started new school years. But Edward over here was normally sleeping on the cot, and not squished into my twin sized bed with me.

" First day of junior year! Get up!" Esme cheered.

I reached out to Edward and poked the back of his neck, full well knowing it would make him cringe.

" Isabella," he growled.

I laughed and burrowed my head into my plush purple pillow. Edward reached over and jabbed me in the ribs, emmiting a squeal from me.

" Stop!"

" Okay! Get out of bed, now, before we drag you out." Carlisle said.

Edward and I slumped out of my bed, clearly not wanting to get up. He ran a hand over his face and ruffled his hair. Suddenly I heard his phone ring. He picked it up from it's place on the floor and answered it with an annoyed expression.

"Hello." he answered politely.

"Tanya, yeah... I have to get ready... Kate can drive you, can she not?... Alright, thanks. Bye."

Starting with my story, my name is Isabella Swan, Bella for short. I have brown curly hair that goes the the middle of my back, and brown eyes to match. I stand at five feet four inchs with a small, slender body.

I am your typical sixteen year old girl living in the city, Chicago. I moved here along with my parents and my parents friends, Carlisle and Esme, when I was fourteen. I used to live in London, which is where I was born, with my parents, also with Carlisle, Esme and their son, Edward, who is the same age as I am.

Edward and I have been friends since birth. We were born the same day, September thirteenth, I was born twenty minutes after him in the same delivery room. Growing up Edward and I became very close. Our parents had always pushed us together and we became that. Our bond is unbreakable.

He has messy bronze hair and peircing emerald green eyes. Bbuilt perfectly, has a killer smile that any girl would drop their pants for, literally. He plays as a quarter back in our highschools football team. Everybody loves Edward, there was nothing to not love about him.

Since the mere age of thirteen, I started to crush on him, of course it was only just small. Over the years it did worsen, considering we got older and feelings deepened. I guess we've been so close because nobody knows us like we know eachother.

This year, we were both starting out as Juniors in our highschool.

Edward and I had alot of friends back in London. The girls were all over Edward, and we moved when we were fourteen. Girls were insatiable when it came to him. But I guess I was one of those girls.

I have a great life for the most part. Two very hard working parents. My mother, Renee, who works as a interior designer, has short, light brown hair and brown eyes. Then my father, Charlie, who also has brown hair which is a little darker, similar to mine, and hazel eyes, he is the Chief Police here in Chicago now.

When Edward and I moved and began our first year in highschool, we became part of a small clique that included Alice Brandon, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale and Emmett McCarty. They had welcomed us with open arms and didn't make fun of us like alot of others did. Emmett and Rosalie were dating as were Alice and Jasper.

Edward's father, Carlisle, had grown up with my father. The Cullens have been friends with the Swan's for many generations. They were very close growing up, they went to the same schools and when Renee and Esme came into the family, they were welcomed with much love. When my father had the chance to move out here to be Chief Police, Esme and Carlisle came with for two reasons: One, they wanted Edward and I to always be together, and plus they were best friends with my parents and the second reason, they wanted to see somewhere besides London.

Now they both live next to my home in Chicago.

Edward and I had never been to public school, back in London we were in a private school. Uniforms and all. The first day of school here was interesting after getting picked on from our british accents and clothing habits. Who would of known that girls didn't wear pencil skirts in school?

Then there was Tanya Denali. When Edward had met her he had a little crush on her and took about four months to get the nerve and ask her out. Tanya has long blonde hair and blue eyes. I didn't like her at all, not just because she is dating Edward, but because she has slept with half of the school and everyone knows it. That didn't sway Edward one bit. She was pretty, but behind the make-up was a fake girl that just wanted one of the teams quarterbacks. The worse part was, she grew up with Alice and Rose, so they were the best of friends. They spent Christmas together, and Easter, Thanksgiving. The most known holidays, and their parents were great friends.

I think the influence of her and the jocks have been changing Edward slightly. It's just the way he talks to me and acts around me and his friends. He acts like two different people and his jock version is spilling into who he really is. I've seen him smoking a few times outside of school with the seniors, which is out of character. This has only happened recently, I was just hoping it was a stupid faze. Edward was never the type to go with the crowd, it just isn't who he is.

When it comes to Tanya, she is a different story... around our friends she is so nice, but when it's just her and I. She can be very rude to me for no reason, I have tried to be nice to her, I was brought up to be respectful to all, but she is just plain slaggy. I guess that she probably wants to have the relationship with Edward that I have. But unfortunetly for her, that will never happen. Ever. Edward and I have a bond that is unbreakable, something that is special, and will always be.

Tanya Denali would never change that.

--

" Isabella, Edward is here." My mother called from downstairs as I finished dressing.

With a long sigh I grabbed my messenger bag and slung it over my shoulder.

" Coming, mom."

I walked down the stairs and stopped at the foyer. When I saw Tanya I almost rolled my eyes. She was kinda intimidating, with her long, skinny tan legs, slim waist and 5' 7'' figure. Her blonde hair was at her shoulders in big curls.

What happened to her getting a ride?

Edward gave me a smile and I looked away, not wanting to get more mesmerized by the smile then I already am. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. He passed me a worried glance and stepped closer to me.

His arm wrapped around my shoulder tightly and stared at me. I could feel Tanya's eyes burning a hole into my skull and tried to break loose from his hold.

" What's wrong?" he asked.

" Nothing, don't worry about me." I assured him

He hugged me close and kissed my temple " You're so cute when you're lying."

My parents laughed loudly. " Well, children. Off to school."

" We aren't children." Tanya spat.

Even my parents hated Tanya. Since Edward started inviting her to the Cullen/Swan Saturday dinners we all got taste of how bitchy she was. I had no clue what Edward saw in her. I was raised to respect people around me, especially my parents and she was just plain rude, demanding and annoying.

" She is right, best off to school. Got the beatles CD, Izzy B?"

I bumped my shoulder with his " I told you to stop calling me that." I scolded as we walked outside.

" It's Beatles! not Bee-ules. Can't you speak correctly. And not like this." Tanya mocked, trying her best british accent.

" Tanya, it's an accent, you can't just get rid of it." I informed her.

" It's can't! not con't!"

I looked at Edward who looked annoyed " What she said, Tanya. Oh, can you sit in the back just this once?"

I stiffled t laugh at her expression and hopped into the passenger seat of Edward's shiny silver Volvo. Edward got into the drivers seat and Tanya got into the back with a huff of irritation and annoyance. I handed Edward the CD and he popped it in. The familar lyrics washed over us and we silently sang along to the music.

Moments like these I wished he was mine. I could reach over the console and hold his hand. A small smile came to my face. Maybe someday if I finally get the courage to actually tell him how I feel.

Someday... I really had to face reality and realize:

I was falling for my best friend, and I didn't know how to tell him.

EPOV

Ever since I was born, Bella and I have been best friends.

We did absolutely everything together growing up. Bella and I always had the same group of friends, attended classes with all the same teachers and did homework together. Now that we are in highschool we don't have all the same classes but we are still very close.

When we were fourteen we were uprooted from our home; London, England when her father Charlie Swan got a job offer in Chicago to become Chief Police. Which was in a different country from where we were. My parents and hers always wanted us to be together, and my mother and father made the decision for us to move with them.

I was ecstatic to live somewhere new, but also have another experience wth Bella. She means the world to me. Bella is the most caring, sweet, selfless and loving person that I have ever known in my sixteen years of life.

She dedicates her life to making others happy and keeping her grades up high. Her dream is to get into Columbia University and be a journalist. Well, I want to be an award winning actor, but we all know that can't happen, so I made the decision to want to pursue a career in being a college professor. I wanted to be a Law professor. It makes a good amount of pay a year and was something that I found interesting.

My parents are very hard working. Esme, my mother works as an interior designer with Renee, Bella's mother. Carlisle, my father, works as the chief of medicine at the local hospital.

In highschool I play as a quarterback in football. I started last year and found that I loved it. My girlfriend, Tanya, is head cheerleader and it's a cliche that we are dating, but I have liked her since the first time I saw her. She is so sweet to our friends and can sometimes be a bit much, but she is a good person.

Bella seemed to be wary around her. She was always giving out short answers and being quiet. I never asked why.

Tanya comes to our Swan/Cullen family dinners sometimes, and attends Bella and I's football game nights on Sunday when football season is here, not all the time but sometimes. Bella and I are huge Bears fans. Our friends, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice could really care less about sports. The guys would rather suck face with their girlfriends then do anything else.

When arriving at school I got out and opened Bella's door for her, she grabbed her bag and hopped out as I proceeded to open the door for Tanya. She had insisted I pick her up instead of Kate, her sister, drive her.

She grabbed my hand and Bella stood next to us as we walked into the highschool. Just two more years in this highschool and I could move on to bigger and better things.

**Authors Note- I know it's short, but if you have read my stories, then I don't normally write a prologue (which was obviously posted before this) and my first chapters are short because I mostly sum up their lives. This gets much better, I can definitely promise you guys that one...**

**This story will be mostly BPOV, and EPOV when I randomly feel like it.**

**Review if you'd like and thank you for all the nice reviews last chapter. I appreciate them and I am glad you all are excited to follow me on this journey.**

**ALSO!**

**I just want to let you know that there houses are the same as they are in Twilight. Same kitchens, bedrooms etc... Its all the same. But if you remember in the movie, when you go up the stairs in Bella's house there is a railing where the stairs are, picture it a wall, and Bella living down the hall. Also, in her bedroom, the window is to the left of her bed. Picture her bed to the right of when she walks in, making it right across from the window so Edward and Bella can see eachother. Creepy, right?**

_British Slang Translation;_

_Slaggy- It basically someone who is mean, kind of a slut._


	3. Junior Year: First Day

****

Authors Note- Okay, so I just want to say, that yes, the beginning is a little boring but as I get into the fifth-sixth chapter the story line really starts to play out. I am really excited about this story, and hope all of you are too. Thank you so much for the reviews, I appreciate them alot.

Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight

__

Flashbacks-

I had a reviewer tell me that they didn't want flashbacks, thinking that the story picked up after the prologue, and at first I was confused. Is everyone sure what the prologue is? If not, then keep reading. The prologue is something that will happen in the story later, a sneak peek if you will. Last chapter, is the beginning of the story, the prologue will come along sometime in the story, and then it will go on. As I said, kind of like a sneak peek. Lots of Authors do it, and most of the time I don't, but I wanted something of an eye catcher. Any more questions, feel free to ask!

****

REMINDER!-

FOR ALL WHO DO NOT KNOW/UNAWARE. UPDATES WILL COME EVERY FRIDAY!!!

I found another song that will fit in. I just want everyone to know, when I add a song, it doesn't mean that it goes to that specific chapter. There are some, and if there are that were in the list; I will re-paste in on the chapter and let you know that there is where it fit in.

A Moment Like This- Kelly Clarkson.

Again! This is not for this chapter, I will point it out what chapter, in the actual chapter it's for!

__

ALSO PLEASE READ!

Some movies and songs I use are from 2008-2009 and now, and though they are still in 2006, I can't help myself because hell! We have great songs and movies now a days! So that is probably the only wrong thing in the story. Sorry if you don't like it. Deal or just...I don't know

READ ON!

------

August 22nd

Monday

2005

------

BPOV

" Hey, Edward! Good summer?" Tyler, Edward's team member cheered from across the hall, Lauren Mallory draped over him. I rolled my eyes, she was insatiable when it came to guys. She had a new one every week.

Edward whipped around, his bronze hair flopping around. He smiled slightly when he saw Tyler and nodded once.

" Yeah, it was great. See ya at practice later." he said, slamming his locker.

He leaned against it and stared at me. I looked away and blushed, a chuckle escaped his lips and I blushed a deeper red.

" Why do you always blush when I look at you, Iz B."

I shrugged.

" What's wrong? Somethings been off since the beginning of summer and I haven't been able to get it out of you."

I shut my locker after grabbing my Algebra book. " Everything is great, Eddie."

I wasn't going to spill my crush to him. Not at this time and not in highschool. I would never be able to live in down if I was rejected infront of my classmates. Especially if Tanya, Carmen or Lauren was around. They would make sure that nobody forgot about it.

" Shit, girl. If you keep callin' me that then I'll just go back to calling you Bella." he snarled

" My name _is_, Bella. Dumbass."

He rolled his eyes and I strutted my way towards math, Edward following close behind. A loud wolf- whistle sounded behing me and I knew immediatly who it was. The famous Emmett McCarty, boyfriend of one of my best friends, Rosalie Hale.

" Ow ow, look at little Bella Swan struttin' her stuff." He shouted

I turned around and saw Emmett, walking next to Rosalie, arm wrapped around her shoulders. I saw Mike Newton out of the corner of my. He was staring at me like a hawk. I knew that he liked me, and he has since I arrived here, he was just creepy though. Mike always appeared at weird times and hell, I've seen him walk out of the forrest in the back of the highschool after lunch. It's just quite odd.

Suddenly little Alice Brandon appeared by my side and wrapped her tan skinny arms around my waist.

" Hello! How was Florida?" I beamed down at my 4' 10'' friend.

She smiled " Great, and I got everyone a little trinkit! Including my bestest friend." she chimed

" You really didn't need to." I told her.

Her small hand reached into her backpack, digging around before she pulled her hand back out and produced a little clear blue, glass dolphin. It looked so delicate, surely I would have to keep this in a special place.

" It's really cute. Thanks, Alice."

I stopped walking and reached down to give her a hug. She hugged me tightly back before pulling back and looking over my outfit. Of course. Alice was always analyzing my clothing patterns.

" Anytime, Iz. And we have so got to go shopping and get your british ass some new clothes."

I glared at her " My british ass, as you put it, dresses just fine."

A giggle escaped her lips " You know what I mean. We need to pamper ourselfs. Manicures, pedicures and shopping. We'll go this weekend."

" Fine," I drawled begrudginly

" Well, I must get to class." she said, imitating my accent.

She kissed my cheek and ran down the hall, grabbing Jasper's hand on the way. I smiled in her direction and put the little dolphin in my bag. Edward came up behind me and grabbed me around the waist.

" And I get no gift?" he whispered creepily in my ear.

" Ask her!" I screeched.

He set me down and Mike Newton strode past me creepily.

" Now there is a future boyfriend, Bella." Edward stated.

I glared at him " Seriously?"

" EDWARD!" A loud voice screeched.

I inwardly groaned.

" Hey, Tanya." Edward said, striding towards her and taking hold of her hand.

Without another word, she grabbed behind his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. I looked away as I saw their lips locking together. I gripped my bag and ground my teeth together in anger.

"Go, Cullen!" Tyler cheered along with Eric Yorke, the schools paper editor.

I kept walking until I arrived in my first period AP Algebra class. I sat in a seat next to Jessica Stanley. She was always quiet and wore alot of black make-up and clothes. I have never heard her utter a word unless it was to the teacher and her voice was always raspy like she had a dry throat. I felt a little bad because alot made fun of her.

Apparently she had been on the cheer squad in freshmen year, also in seventh and eighth grade. Last year I heard rumors about her sleeping with Marcus Harrison, a football player who was dating Lauren Mallory, co-captain of the cheer squad and her and Tanya booted her off.

She basically cut all her hair off and it was at her shoulders, black and choppy looking with jagged bangs. Her lip held a ring in the left side and she always tugged at it and itched at her wrists which were always covered with gauze. I held alot of symphathy for the girl.

I set my book down on the table, along with my bag and took out a notebook and a pen.

" Okay! Welcome to eleventh grade AP Algebra! I am Mr. Brooks. You can call me Mr. B or just Mr. Brooks. Just to kick off a new year. I am going to start with a little pop quiz."

Everyone in the room groaned.

" No complaining, this is common sense of math."

He scratched his mustache and looked around the room, his eyes landed on me and he smiled brightly.

" Isabella Swan...What is the square root of pi?"

" Well approximately it would be 1.7725. But even more precisely it would be-" I searched my mind, trying to remember the numbers I tried so hard to memorize " ;1.7724538509055...16027298167...um, 483314?"

He looked simply astounded at my answer and I smiled shyly " Well class. You could all learn a lesson from . Those are alot of numbers to remember and that must of taken alot of time. I asked her for the simple five and she gave me all of them. Good job."

I heard footsteps stumble into the room and Edward appeared in the doorway. He looked slightly disheveled and I wasn't going to think about what he was just doing a few minutes ago.

" Mr. Cullen, is it?" he asked.

" Erm, yes."

" Well, instead of spending time in the halls, maybe you should attend class. It doesn't look good appearing late on your first day of a new year."

Edward blushed and took his seat in a empty table in the very last row. He looked at me and mouthed 'Stanley?' as a question. I shrugged and he raised his hand in the air. The teacher looked annoyed but asked him anways.

" Yes?" Mr. Brooks asked.

" Is it okay if a friend sits next to me?"

He eyed him skeptically. " I would rather you not distract or get distracted by a friend."

Edward smiled " I assure you she is no problem."

" She? Mr. Cullen, if this is your girlfriend, then I would not allow such actions."

" She isn't," Edward shot back

I glared back at Edward. He never acted impolite towards anybody. He stood up and grabbed my wrist. I quickly grabbed my stuff as he dragged me next to him and plopped me in the stool. I almost fell backwards off of it, but Edward put his hand on my back, balancing me on the seat. I sent him another glare and adjusted myself on the seat properly.

Mr. Brooks glared to him " Maybe you could rub off on your friend here, Miss. Swan."

__

Oh, yes. I would definately do that. But right here would not be appropriate. Maybe you should send us to the janitors closet.

I scolded myself for such thoughts. I was not that kind of girl that would go for a sloppy round in a closet. But with Edward...

Edward looked over at me and smiled. I gave him a pointed look and he shrugged.

" Come on, Bella." he whispered as the teacher began.

" Just because I chose a seat not next to you, doesn't mean you can drag me around." I grumbled.

" Sorry, I just like sitting next to someone I know. Your my best friend, Bella."

I could never stay mad at him. I looked over at him and he shot me his crooked smile, a smile spread across my face and I shook my head at him. He bumped my shoulder and smiled wider, effectively making me blush.

" You love me."

I rolled my eyes at him " I do not love you. I live with you. Pain in my ass."

----

My first classes went by quickly and I soon found myself walking with Rose to the cafeteria. We all had the same lunch period, which was something we made sure happened every year. We all liked sitting together, with familar friends. Though Edward drifted towards the jock table most the time, we all stayed rooted in our spot.

" So, how was your summer?" she asked.

" Great. I barely saw you guys though. Missed you all."

She hugged me " Sorry. I kinda abandoned you when I got tickets to NYC."

" It's fine. I had Edward...and Tanya."

Rose tucked a peice of hair behind her ear and flipped the other side over her shoulder. She looked at me skeptically. " What's the huge problem with her, Bella? Tanya is so nice, and amazing. Her and Edward and perfect together."

I sighed, shoving quarters into the drink machine, and pressing the button for Rasberry flavored water. I slipped my other change into my pocker and looked at Rose.

" If it's because she is dating Edward, then that is stupid." she stated.

" I know!" I exclaimed, grabbing the flavored water from the machine.

She stared at me" If I didn't no better I would say... never mind."

" What?" I pressured

Rosalie bent down so her lips were close to my ear. She looked around before whispering the rest of her comment to me. I leaned close and she cupped her hands close to my ear. Would she just talk already?!

"Do you like, Edward?" she blurted

" No." I answered quickly.

She laughed " That's a relief. But it would be a little strange considering you guys grew up like brother and sister. That's what Renee says anyways."

I nodded " Yeah."

We didn't bring it up again during lunch. I gathered my food, making a salad at the small counter filled with vegetables, fruit, lunch meats and bread. The food here wasn't nasty. Food in London was like eating a homemade meal. It was always great tasting and from what I hear, food is normally really bad in schools.

I looked over at the jock table and saw Edward laughing with all the cheerleaders. This was his normal routine during lunch. He would talk to them and when he finished eating he would come and join us for the remaining five to ten minutes.

I took a seat next to bulky Emmett, who ruffled my hair and smiled at me.

" Hey, Bells."

" Hello, Emmett."

Rosalie leaned her head against his shoulder, a smile on her face, and he wrapped his arm around her. I felt my heart clench as I looked over at Alice and Jasper, who were in a similar embrace. I wanted that, and I wanted it with someone who I couldn't have it with.

---

The first week of school went by well. I was never late to any of my classes and mesmerized the new schedule with ease. I have two classes with Edward and one with Jasper, which was World History. I had Biology and Algebra with Edward. Tanya was also in Biology but since our teacher, Mr. Banner, assigned the seats, I had ended up sitting next to Edward in the middle row all the way to the left and Tanya was in the first row, all the way to the right.

I did a mental happy dance to that one.

August 27th, the Saturday after the first week of school, I was awoken by something small and sprite-like jumping on my bed.

" SHOPPING! Time to get up, princess." I heard Alice's tinkling voice giggle.

I rolled over in the purple sheets and Alice jumped on my bed, bouncing and singing some random song. When my eyes shot up she stopped bouncing and jumped off the bed gracefully.

"You really need to re-decorate. Dark green walls? and all these Muse, Linkin Park, Led Zeppelin, Beatles and The Clash posters. And these random pictures. Your room is small but you should do something with it."

" My room in London was oddly familar to this one." I said.

" Oh, pish posh." She said, doing her best british accent.

What was with her imitating me all the time?

Alice tapped her little Dolphin that was adorned on my end table and giggled. I buried my head in my pillow as she stared around my bedroom in wonder. She took note to my little flat screen on the wall.

" Why don't we ever chill in here. Were always in your basement or in Edward's basement. Is it a british thing that you entertain guests in your basements."

I sighed " Alice, just because we aren't from the same country doesn't mean everything is done differently. We all just entertain there because we do."

" But you and Edward always hang in here alone."

I fiddled with a stray string on my blanket " Well, Edward and I are really close so it's not anything different. If we ate junk food and soda in here then my room would be a mess."

" Ehh, you do have a point about that. But you and Edward are always up here when we come over. Are you guys like secretly dating. Aw, that would be so cute. Though Edward is dating, Tanya. She is really amazing, too!"

I looked out of the window, trying to keep my mind off of the comment. I couldn't help myself though.

Was I really the only one who saw her little facade?

Alice bounced around my room bright eyed and bushytailed. Her happiness made me want to throw up sometimes. How could someone be _that_ happy all the time. Life was good as Alice Brandon and life as Bella Swan was not going well as of now.

I got out of bed and took a warm shower, relishing in the quietness but hating it because it let my mind wander. Alice was waiting in my room after I dressed. One look at my outfit and she dissaproved.

" Black jeans, band tee and converse? What the hell, Bella!" Alice screeched, running for my clothing drawers.

She pulled out a white ruffled skirt and threw it at me, along with a pair of flats. I tossed the clothing to the ground and gave her a pointed look. Alice always thought that I was her personal barbie, and she could dress me up. That was probably the only thing that bugged me about Alice.

" Bella! This is perfectly cute clothing!"

I sighed " Alice," I scolded

I used to wear bright colors when I was fourteen, and dresses, skirts. Hell on my first day I wore a pencil skirt and a short sleeved button up that was tucked in. But I soon realized that I looked like I was still in a private school. I found my style, and that was not all bright colors and neon pinks and greens.

She scowled at me " Whatever. Let's just go. Rose is meeting us later today and we are going bathing suit shopping because we are meeting the guys at the Chicago Pool. So grab your stuff and hop to it!"

I reached for my bag and slipped on a hoodie. Alice rolled her eyes and I shoved her out of my room. Not wanting her to make me go back in and change. She poked my side and I laughed as reflex.

" Stop!" I screeched when she did it again.

" There's happy, Bella!"

I rolled my eyes at her this time.

****

Authors Note- So yeah, still fillerish. But as I said, it picks up soon.

Review if you'd like.

ALSO! I am sorry this is late, because it's an hour until Saturday. I was having alot of trouble with Document Manager, but I still had the first chapter there, so I deleted it and copy and pasted this file into it. Hopefully I can do it properly, so if it's late next time, you will know why.


	4. The Water Park

**Authors Note- Thank you for the reviews. I love them all, and...Love you all. Awkward...Well anyways, some are getting a little impatient, just remember; Nothing worth having, comes easy.**

**Also, I have been neglecting my friend, Eternally Addicted because I am just a busy person at times, but to make it up to her!**

**I want you all to check out her story!:**

**The Game That Changed It All.**

**You can find it in my favorite stories, and she is listed in my favorite authors list. So go off and read her story after reading this chapter. Her story is amazing, and is absolutely brilliant. So go read!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight**

BPOV

Alice dragged me to the downtown mall, where we met Rosalie, who was eating some doughy weird shaped thing with chunks of white salt. It was an Aunt Annie's pretzel from a small shop on the first level. I found no appeal to it.

Rosalie had a bag next to her feet, the pink bag read 'Victoria's Secret'. It was no surprise because she bought something from there every time we came to the mall. She liked to get 'a surprise for Emmett' as she put it. I just blushed and never brought up that subject again.

She stood from her spot on the bench and threw out the wrapper for the pretzel, scooping up her bag a second later. Much like Alice, her eyes ran up and down my clothes, a look of utter disapprovement etched on her flawless face.

" What's with the outfit emo girl?"

I stared at her blankly.

" Whatever, lets shop." she said, dismissing the subject immediatly.

Alice giggled and grabbed my arm, dragging me into the nearest store that sold bathing suits. I groaned at the thought of putting on a bathing suit. Alice would make me try on as many as she wanted, until she found one that she liked.

Lord have mercy.

--

" Bella, just come out. It's just a bathing suit and I bet you look cute!" Alice encouraged.

I ran a hand through my hair and looked at my body in the mirror. The bathing suit fit fine, but the amount of cleavage I was showing was absolutely innapropriate for a public area. Alice had handed me a white one, which was thin and there was nothing more to explain about it.

She tried so many different colors, styles and sizes, but none seemed to look or fit right on my body. Most of the bathing suits were not sold in seperate peices, where at some stores you can buy a top in a certain size, and the bottom in a certain size. These ones at this store came together, and I needed one that fit around my small hips, but had a top for a bigger bust. The bottoms would fit, and my breasts would be spilling out of the top. If I got a bigger size, then the bottoms would be sliding off me.

I slowly stepped out of the changing room and waited for their reaction. They both looked over my body, taking a moment to be quiet, making me more nervous.

Rose whistled " Girl, you look sexy!"

I rolled my eyes at her and turned to Alice.

" It's cute, and your boobs aren't spilling out!"

I turned back into the dressing room, keeping the door open. I looked in the mirror and stared down at the dark purple bathing suit. I tried to adjust the top, trying to cover my chest up a bit more.

" You should be lucky to have a good amount of cleavage. I mean I can barely fit into a 36 A." Alice pointed out.

Rose laughed at her " Poor, Al. But she is right, Bells. You have a bigger chest then I do. Plus, it's all real and not fake. I wonder where you got busty from. I mean Renee doesn't even wear a bra because she has none. I mean your not overbearingly huge, just enough for a guy to appreciate an-"

" Okay, thats enough. I'll get it." I interrupted

Alice clapped her hands quickly " Now get dressed. We have to get to American Eagle to get a pair of shorts, and then we have to get to our appointments!"

I shut the door and quickly changed into my regular clothes. When we got to checkout I quickly paid, silently happy for the job I aquired during the summer time as a cashier at Chicago Dough Company.

When I paid, the lady bagged it up and handed it to me, along with a reciept. I smiled at her and grasped the bag. We walked out of the store, heading off to American Eagle.

We all looked through the various amount of shorts. Alice thought black would be best for me, and she of course picked her signature pink, and Rosalie a bright neon orange. We paid for our stuff and shuffed to the main level of the big mall to make the appointments for our pedicures and manicures. Discussing colors for our nails the whole way.

--

When arriving, we were seated in chairs and tended to immediatly. I picked out a lilac color for my nails and the nice lady got working on my nails, putting many clear coats on to prevent chipping. She did a pretty swirl design with black on my fingers. I chatted with Rose, who was sitting next to me. As usual she was discussing fashion and I tried to keep up with her. Then she mentioned Tanya.

" So, Tanya and I are going shopping tomorrow with Alice. Hollister is having a huge sale and we are going to shop 'til we drop. We were going to ask you but since you don't like shopping..."

I stood up once my nails were done and went over to get my pedicure. I didn't comment on what Rose said, but I couldn't lie and say that it didn't hurt just a bit. The girls excluded me alot, thinking that I hated shopping. I didn't love it, but every once in awhile I liked girl time.

I asked the lady for them to be similar to my nails, instead of using white on the top part of the nail, she did the purple and put on a clear coat that made it all shiny. I noticed Rosalie and her bright orange nails and white tipped toe nails.

Alice had her normal pink colored nails and pink tipped toe nails. We sat awhile, letting them dry before the lady said it was fully dry and we could leave. After thanking them we left the place, fully satisfied from the pampering.

" Okay, we are heading over to Bella's to change."

" Bella's? We never go to her house to change or dress up."

Alice shrugged and babbled on about something that had to do with Jasper. I tuned her out, not wanting to hear any of it.

---

Upon arriving at my house Alice was the one who led us to my room. Rosalie looked at it with distaste before stripping her shirt off and throwing it on the ground. I stared at her wide eyed.

" Prude Bella can change in her bathroom." Rose chimed.

I blushed two shades of red and gave her the finger before going into my bathroom, bag in hand. I stripped my clothes off quickly and put on the bathing suit, I adjusted the top for a moment before grabbing the shorts out of the dark blue bag and putting them on. They were a tad tight but I could care less at this point.

Alice and Rosalie were finished dressing when I came back, they were applying make-up and sitting on Edward's cot.

" Why in the hell are you putting make-up on before going to the fucking public pool!" I exclaimed.

" Potty mouth, too. Jesus you and Edward need a filter sometimes." Alice stated.

With an eye roll I went to my dresser and grabbed the pony tail ontop of it. I threw my hair up quickly and went to my closet to grab my beach towel and bag. We shoved comb's, sunblock, our cell's, my wallet, a bag of chips and our towels in before jogging downstairs with our flip-flops on.

I got into the kitchen and didn't see my mom, but a note telling me she was at Esme's.

" Ugh. Well I have to go over and tell her or her and Esme will freak out." I told them.

They walked out the front door and I locked it before jogging over to Edward's three story mansion, basically four if you count the basement. I grabbed my key that was hooked onto my wallet and shoved it into the hole.

" You have a key to his house. That's weird."

I rolled my eyes " We are like one big family. Esme and Carlisle are basically my second parents. I don't need permission to walk into their house, just like they don't need it to walk in mine." I stated, feeling very frusterated.

When I walked in I could hear noises coming from the kitchen. I walked in and smiled at the sight of Esme and my mother scrapbooking. Pictures of Edward, Carlisle, Charlie, Renee, Esme and I scattered around.

I saw a picture of Edward and I the day we left for Illinois. We were in the airport and he pulled me aside and grabbed his camera, kissing my cheek and taking the picture.

" Alice, Rose and the guys and I are going to the Chicago Pool so we should be back later. Got my phone if you need me." I informed my mom, kissing her cheek.

" Be careful, sweetie." Esme said.

I kissed her cheek also and handed her to picture of Edward and I.

" Put this one in there."

She smiled at me and I skipped out the door next to Alice and Rose.

I somehow convinced them to ride with me in my car, they reluctently agreed but got in anyways. The drive was short and it took no time getting in and putting our stuff in the lockers. Rosalie called the guys, asking where they were located and apparently they were going to jump off the high-dive.

We shut our phones off and stuffed them into the now locked lockers and headed off to find them. Kids were splashing around in the water crazily and swimming around. Adults were doing laps in the deeper pools and lifegaurds watched over all these people.

The guys were on the concrete steps, waiting in line to get up to the high dive. Alice bounced over to Jasper and flew into his arms, whilst Emmett put his arm around Rose's shoulder. I stood awkwardly next to Edward, who was wearing blue swimming trunks.

" So...Where's, Tanya?" I asked.

" She should be here in a little while." he commented.

I nodded, leaning my back against the railing across from him. His eyes wandered for a moment until they landed on me, and went further down. I blushed when I saw him openly staring at my chest.

Alice and Rose would die for this.

Quickly I turned around and leaned over the railing. That was so the most awkward moment of my life. Edward and I have had our share of embarrassing and awkward moments.

One of the most awkward happened in the winter, last winter. It was more Edward's fault then mine. I had absolutely no control over it.

_Flashback._

_I was laying in bed, just awakening from deep sleep. Edward and I had spent the night together, studying for the finals and passed out on my bed. The room was dark per usual. The bathroom door was closed because I never liked the sun streaming in. _

_My blinds were tightly shut and my bedroom door was closed, the room was pitch black._

_When I went back to sleep and awoke again the room was anything but dark. Signalling that my mother or father had come in and opened the blinds and bathroom door. My bedroom door was ajar and I was going to sit up but was locked tightly in Edward's warm embrace._

_I knew that Edward was a cuddler, he was like a clinging bear, and that is why he had a cot and a pillow to cuddle with. We started making sure to sleep seperate when our parents started to take pictures of his choke hold on me. If Tanya were to see that... she would be a goner, not that I cared._

_Since we passed out we didn't pay attention to where we lay after studying._

_My bladder was full and I really needed to use the bathroom to relieve myself. Edward was squeezing the life out of me and I felt my ribs being crushed._

_I shifted around, trying to see if he would loosen his vice grip on my body. He didn't budge one bit._

_Then he shifted and I felt something poke my back, I knew what that was and immediatly flushed red. I shot up immediatly, as did he._

_" What the hell?!" I screamed, basically scared to feel _that _from my best friend._

_" It's the morning," he stated, clenching his teeth and trying to quiet me_

_Our parents shot into the room immediatly, staring at us. Almost everyone looked clueless, but Carlisle. He had a smirk on his face. I wanted to slap it right off because I knew that he knew what had happened._

_" What?!" my mother said._

_I sighed " Nothing, it was absolutely nothing." I assured them, scrambling out of bed quickly._

_Edward stared at me, looking completely apologetic. I gave him a wry smile before walking out of the bedroom, mortified at what had occured._

_End Flashback._

I shivered at the mere memory and turned back around as people on the stairs moved up. As I took another step up I caught my flip flop in the bars on the railing and started falling. Familar, warm arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me up straight.

" Whoa, Iz B."

I took a deep breath and gripped the railing tightly. Edward let me go swiftly and looked at me skeptically.

"You alright there?" he asked.

" It's not a complete day unless I fall. Of course you have to alwas catch me." I muttered, staring at him.

He kissed my cheek " Well all know you secretly love me. And plus, what's not to be attracted to?" he said, amusement evident in his voice.

I glared at him " From the events of last winter, it seems like you are the one who is attracted to me." I threw at him.

A light blush swept over his features, and I smiled before taking another step up the stairs. He poked my side and I poked him right back.

" It was the morning." he said

" No excuse. Sorry, Edward."

He glared at me and the lifeguard on the top of the cement platform motioned for us to come up. Hesitantly I stepped up to the platform and Edward stood behind me.

" I'm scared of heights." I stated/

Edward sighed " I know. But I have a solution. Hang on."

I looked at him just as he took me into his arms and ran. When I felt him jump off the platform I locked my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips against my arm to stop from screaming. It felt like forever until we hit the water with a loud smack.

The twelve feet deep water enveloped us and I felt Edward release me. I felt the loss of his hold and felt my heart tug. When my head broke the water I looked around for Edward and saw that he was sitting at the edge on the ground, legs in the water. I swam next to him and planted my palms on the ground. I pushed my body up and the water fell off me. We sat next to eachother as we watched everyone else go off

Emmett did his signature cannonball and Alice did a flip, getting yelled at because it was against the rules. She was still smiling though and used her charm on the lifeguard, Jasper being pissed that she was flirting to get her way. Rosalie did a perfect dive and Jasper did some messed up looking twist.

We went over to the tanning beds and grabbed our towels. I dried my body off as did the rest and we skipped off towards the tunnel slides. Alice and I grabbed inner tubes quickly and the rest shuffled to find ones behind us as we raced off.

" GUYS WAIT!" Emmett yelled as we ran up the seven flights of stairs. When reaching the top, two ladies were in charge. Alice took the red tube and settled in the water, holding onto the edge to wait for me. I settled by the blue one and we both took off together. The tunnel was dark and I was going down quickly in the tube.

When the sun broke through and we were in three feet of water we got out of the tubes and stumbled to eachother, laughing for no good reason.

" That was so much fun." she stated, running a hand through her wet hair.

When I saw the rest of the group back by our towels I saw Tanya. I really didn't care about the tiny white bikini she was wearing, but the fact that she was making out with Edward on _my _towel and on the tanning bed _I _set up for _myself_.

I am never that sensitive of a person, but I felt tears spring to my eyes at the scene. Alice looked up at me, clearly confused as to why I was starting to tear up.

" Bella, why are you crying?" she asked, handing me her towel. I took it from her and turned around.

" I'm fine. Something in my eyes" I whispered, mostly to myself.

I dried off quickly and left the area, grabbing the key to the locker.

" Edward!" I heard Alice yell as I walked into the locker rooms.

When I opened the locker I grabbed my stuff, not in the mood for being around them anymore. Not in the mood to be around _Edward_ anymore. I grabbed my bag, leaving Alice and Rose's stuff in the lockers for them.

Behind me I felt the presence of someone and I knew who it was, I just didn't want to turn around and face the person.

" Alice said you were on the verge of tears. What's wrong?" he asked.

I wiped the tear that fell " I wasn't" I lied " Just got something in my eye."

He sighed " You've always been a horrible liar."

I turned around and was met with his bare chest. My eyes clenched shut and I put my hands on his chest, pushing him backwards. He grabbed my wrists tightly, trying to prevent me from leaving.

" What's wrong?" he demanded.

" I'm fine." I lied again, through clenched teeth,

I turned away from him and grabbed my shorts from the bag. When I finished putting them on I slid between the small place between Edward and the lockers.

" You haven't even been here for an hour. Did Renee want you home? Did something happen?" he said, following me from behind.

" Nothing happened. I just need to get out of here. Maybe you should go continue with Tanya."

With that I heard him stop moving but kept walking myself. I wished Alice and Rose a goodbye, telling them that I felt sick. They said they would get a ride with the guys and I started off towards my car. I slid in quickly and slammed the door shut, wiping the traitor tears

---

When I reached home it was empty. I stalked upstairs to my bedroom and took off my bathing suit, hanging the wet clothes on a hanger on my doorknob. I slipped into the bathroom, drawing a bath and soaking the warm water for an immesurable amount of time.

I didn't understand why it hurt _that_ bad. Just seeing him kiss her was like a stake through the heart, and the person was pulling it out too slow. I can't understand why we are so close. What is it that makes us so close?

Same music taste?

Similar food taste?

Pushed together because our parents were together often?

We were forced to just live with the constant presence of eachother?

The reason was obvious. Edward and I were friends, just because we are. There was no explanation. Edward and I were just able to be ourselves when around eachother. It was a natural thing, nothing forced.

When the water chilled I stopped my thoughts on the subject. I slipped out of the water, pulling the plug and grabbing a towel from the rack. I wrapped it around my body and stood infront of the mirror, combing my hair with a fine comb. When the tangles were out I ran product through my hair to prevent frizzing. I took off the towel and put on my silky blue robe.

I stepped out of the bathroom and was startled when I saw Edward. I tied the knot tighter and put my arms over my chest. I looked over at him, my lips in a straight, tight line.

" What are you doing here?" I asked.

He ran a hand through his hair and shifted " We always spend time together on Saturdays after dinner. But we didn't have our normal dinner night." he said nervously.

I stared at him " Well why you just go spend time with Tanya anyways."

" She was pissed that I followed you to the locker room... Anyways, the guys are all here and I really want to talk to you about what happpened this afternoon."

I went to my drawers and grabbed pair of flannel shorts and a tanktop. I shut them swiftly and went towards the bathroom door.

" I'll pass." I stated.

He once again grabbed me and turned me around.

" For a sixteen year old you act like your six. Talk, Isabella."

I shook my head and went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I changed into my clothes and put on some deodorant. Brushing my hair once more before walking back out. I threw my clothes in the hamper and laid on my bed, ignoring Edward's annoying presence.

" You've been in this mood since the summer started. Tell me what the fuck is wrong!" he all but yelled at me.

_Well, Edward. I really want to jump your bones..._

" Last time I looked, your weren't my father, Edward."

" Your so stubborn, just like Renee but worse." he growled.

I smiled at him, teeth and all. " It's my best talent."

He rolled his eyes " No your best talent is driving me up a wall!"

" I know right." I agreed.

" Stop changing the subject. What. Is. Wrong?"

" NOTHING!" I yelled, trying to convince him.

He collapsed on my bed next to me " Bella, I love you. Your my best friend, more then that. I hate when your upset and it hurts me to not know what is wrong. We always talk to eachother, about everything. Like when you were twelve and you got your period but were scared to tell your mom for the oddest reason."

I blushed " That's different... I can't tell you right now, okay?"

" Not, okay."

I stared into his emerald green eyes and reached for his hand. He stared back at me and I wished to see the love and adoration shining in them. I was charming my way out of this, no matter what.

" Not now. I promise one day I will. Just not now."

" I can't deny you when you look at me like that." he murmured

" I know you can't." I answered, staring back at him.

He leaned towards me and kissed my forehead swiftly.

This position could probably be taken as being intimate but for us, it wasn't. Unfortunate for me and probably not a big deal for him. He pulled away from me and sat up, looking down at me with a smile.

" We should go downstairs." he said.

" Yeah."

I stood up and reached over on the floor to grab my sweatshirt. Once I had it I slipped it on and zipped it up. I raced infront of him, beating him to the stairs and darted down. He followed behind me, running down gracefully while I stumbled a few times.

When I was five my parents basically forced me into ballet. I endured it until I was nine, when I broke my ankle whilst trying to rest my foot against my thigh, balancing on one foot. They finally let me quit after that accident. Then when I was ten I did gymnastics up until I was fifteen.

" Your so clumsy."

" Really Captain Obvious?" I said sarcasticly.

He flicked my arm " Shut your mouth, women."

I turned my head around and stuck my tongue out at him. When I opened the door I heard laughing coming from the basement. Edward and I walked downstairs and saw them on the cream leather couch, soda's in hand and eating chips

" Everything alright?"

Edward and I looked at eachother, taking a seat on the couch. My basement was nothing compared to Edward's, which was fully finished had all different things from a pool-table to a wet bar. There was a smaller area where there was a couch and a television, which is where the stairs were, but there was a door to walk through to the bigger area.

We continued to carry on a conversation, talking about different things, from Alice's trip, to Rose's, and even about what Edward, Tana and I did this summer.

EPOV

At some point Bella had passed out on the couch, legs sprawled over Alice and head laying on my lap. Rosalie's mother called and wanted her home around midnight so she and Emmett left, then Jasper and Alice soon left afterwards.

When I looked at my phone I saw that I had a missed call from Tanya. I sighed and shoved it back into my pocket.

I liked Tanya, she was important to me, but today she had really gotten upset when I went after Bella. How could I not? When someone tells you that your best friend is upset, you go after the person, no matter what. Tanya doesn't understand the importance of what Bella means to me.

If Bella was upset, I was.

We always had eachother, an no girlfriend would ever change that fact.

I shifted Bella around, putting my arms under the back of her knee's and an arm around her back. I lifted her with ease into my arms, her one hundred and five pound body nothing in my arms. She shifted her head to rest on my shoulder and let out a content sigh.

When I got upstairs I saw my mother in the foyer, chatting with Renee. Her head snapped up when she saw me. A smile came to her face when she saw Bella asleep in my arms.

" I'm going to head up and take Bella to sleep. I'll be right back." I whispered quietly.

" Okay, sweetie."

When I got into Bella's familar room I laid her on the plush bed, covering her with blankets. I pulled away from her, but her little hands had a tight grip on my shirt. Bella had never been one to cuddle, which was understandable considering I have a girlfriend and it would be a bit innapropriate. I had a cot to prove it! Without much thought I climbed into her bed, over the covers, and let her lay her head on my chest for a moment.

" Don't leave," she mumbled.

" I don't want to, but I've gotta head home. I have some homework to catch up on"

She sighed and rolled away from me. I knew she was angry, we always spent the night together on Saturdays, occasionally we would change the pattern. I stood up and went over to her side. I knelt down and swept the hair from her face.

" Love you, Iz."

" I love you, but not right now." she teased tiredly, shutting her eyes tightly.

I kissed her cheek and walked out of her bedroom swiftly, letting her drift to sleep.

---

BPOV

I awoke in the morning, the darkness enveloping me. I wanted to sink back into a deep sleep but a loud voice had completely woken me up.

"BELLA! BREAKFAST IS READY!" I heard the loud voice of Esme yell from the bottom of the stairs.

I sat up slowly and pulled my shirt, that had ridden up, down. I slipped on a pull over sweatshirt and put my hair up before going downstairs. When reaching downstairs the scent of bacon assulted me. One the table plates were made and our parents were seated, excpet for Carlisle who was pouring orange juice. Edward was sitting at the table next to Esme.

" Good morning, sweetie." he said, kissing the top of my head.

" Good morning, Carlisle." I greeted, giving him a quick hug.

Carlisle and I have had a close relationship ever since I was young. My father was always the sports watching type, and Carlisle enjoyed reading. When I was two years old he would sit me on his lap in his office, reading my stories from authors such as William Shakespeare, Emily Bronte, Jane Austen, John Grisham and Charles Dickens. Thats where I found my love for books, we would always read together. Carlisle was infact the one who taught me how to read properly.

We spent so much time together I just thought of him as a second father. He was always the one to patch me up if I got hurt, the one to put a cast on if I broke my arm ( which I've done three times).

I took my seat next to my mother and picked up my fork as Edward stumbled into the room. I first noticed his crazy hair. He sat next to Carlisle who was now seated.

" Son, you desperately need a haircut." Carlisle informed him.

Edward ran a hand through his messy bronze hair and waved him off " No thank you. I happen to like my hair how it is. The ladies enjoy it."

Esme looked at him scoldingly " I did not raise you to speak like that Edward Anthony. You respect ladies just as you respect, Isabella."

I couldn't help but laugh. Esme looked over at me

" What is so funny?"

" Esme, your son is not that gentlemenly."

She quirked a brow.

" What? He's not Mr. Perfect." I continuted

Edward glared at me across the table.

" How so?"

I stuffed eggs into my mouth " Well, he's...I don't know, he swears alot, lots of PDA...And I don't know, a little bit of smoking."

" BELLA!" Edward all but yelled across the table.

Carlisle slapped Edward in the back of his head " No yelling and what is this I hear about smoking and swearing. I swear if that's true then your in trouble. Your mother and I brought you up... not that way!" Carlisle scolded.

" What the hell, Bella! Why did you have to say all that?" Edward exclaimed.

Esme this time smacked him across his head. " Public displays of affection? I am ashamed."

I stood up from the table and poured a glass of orange juice. As I was about to pick it up Edward had stood and grabbed my arm, pulling me into the foyer.

" Why does it bother you so much that I am with, Tanya! And all that other shit? If your my best friend then why are you spewing that."

I shook out of his grasp. " Maybe they can put you into your place. I don't like how you've been acting. This," I said, motioning to him " Is not the Edward I know. You were raised to respect women and to speak nicely. That stunt on the first day of school. Not only just making out with your girlfriend in the hallway, but pulling me out a seat because you want me to not sit next to someone who is a little different."

He ran a hand over his face " She's a nutter, a freak!"

I shook my head " The Edward I know, wouldn't say that." I stated, turning back into the kitchen.

" What about last night. I carried you to bed and told you I loved you before I left." he threw out.

" Yeah, like the first time since the beginning of summer. Look, Edward. I'm not trying to get you in trouble. I just want my best friend back, I miss spending more time with you. Alice and Rose are constantly shopping with Tanya, saying that I don't like it and then just going off. Then your always with her. If this is your way of telling me you just don't want to spend time with me anymore, then tell me."

He said nothing so I went back into the kitchen I sat down at the table and Edward walked in, standing by the door. " I'm heading out. I'll see you later." he murmured, leaving the room.

" Edward," Esme sighed.

The front door slammed and she looked at me " What happened?"

" I told him what he didn't want to hear, but needed to."

--

We finished eating breakfast and I decided to go upstairs and dress for the day. I took a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a flannel button up. When I slipped on my converse and took a seat on my bed I realized that I would have to talk to him, sooner or later... Sooner would be better.

It was evening and I couldn't seem to leave my room. I pulled out my homework and sprawled it out around me on my light blue sheets. The sky was now dark and I flipped my light on, illuminating the room brightly.

When I looked out of my window that was right infront of my bed, I saw that Edward's curtains were pulled back. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, phone to his ear. It looked like he was fighting with someone. Which my guess was Tanya.

He looked up at me, as if he knew I was staring. I gave him an apologetic smile, trying to show him I was sorry about what occured at breakfast.

Edward had an unreadable expression on his face. I looked back down at my homework and finished Algebra homework. I put everything in it's rightful folder and set it on my desk. I opened up my closet and riffled through my closet to find clothes for tomorrow. Usually I would pick out the typical jeans and t-shirt but I was unsure now. I went through my closet, trying to put together an outfit.

When I was satisfied with a denim jeans, black skirt with red squares on the front with Muse in black letters and my converse. I grabbed a pair of socks from my basket swiftly, putting it ontop of the pile.

I set it ontop of my dresser and looked over at Edward's window, seeing that the curtains were pulled. I let out a frusterated sigh and climbed into bed.

**Authors Note-**

_Translations for British Slang used._

_Nutter- Crazy Person_


	5. Issues

**Authors Note- The Saints won against the Colts in the Superbowl, is anybody else pissed off to the point of screaming? That was absolutely wretched, and ruined my month.**

**Thank you all so much for all of the reviews. I know that I don't answer to them, but just know that I appreciate them to the fullest, they really make my day a whole lot better.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight**

**Invisable- Taylor Swift**

**(This was on the song list, it is now being used)**

----

August 29th

Monday

----

BPOV

I awoke Monday morning to the sun streaming into my room, and the blaring sound of my alarm clock. I slapped my hand across the snooze button and put my arm over my eyes. I had forgotten to close my curtains last night before I went to bed. My exhaustion must of gotten the better of me and made me forget my nightly routine. With a yawn I sat up in bed and stretched my arms above my head.

When standing I grabbed my clothing from atop the dresser and went into my quaint bathroom to shower and ready myself for school. The warm water wakened me further when I slipped in. I quickly washed up my body and hair, shaving my legs also, making sure not one hair was left.

A towel was on the rack and I grabbed it to wrap around my body. I combed out my hair and used my blow dryer to dry it after putting no-frizz foam in my hair. Once my hair was dry I combed it out again and straightened the waves.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth and stripped the towel off to put on my school clothes. I first slipped on my bra and underwear, then my top and my denim jeans after. I unraveled a pair of socks and slipped them on. I slipped on my black low tops and tied them up.

My make-up bag lay on the counter and I grabbed it, swiping silver eye shadow across my eye lid and brushing on mascara. I smoothed cherry chapstick over my ruby lips and was done. I threw my pajama's and towel in the hamper and scooped up my messenger back, making sure all books were stuffed inside.

I jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen where my parents were sipping coffee. I put some strawberry poptarts into the toaster and gobbled them down when they had popped back up. I took a sip of my fathers coffee, kissed them goodbye, wished them a good day, and was off.

When I was out on the porch I saw Edward leaning against the railing.

" Uh, hello." I muttered nervously.

" Yeah... Let's just get to school." he said

I slipped into his Volvo with ease and he revved the engine, speeding towards the school in a record of time.

" If your trying to kill us then your doing a fabulous job." I said, clutching the arm rest, my eyes staring wide-eyed ahead of me.

He didn't respond to me.

" If your still pissed at me because of what happened yesterday, I'm sorry."

I still got silence.

" Damn it, Edward, just talk to me." I demanded.

He sighed, but still said nothing. Edward parked in his usual spot in the parking lot and I stepped out of the car, walking towards the school doors without a glance back. When I reached my locker I grabbed my necessary books and slammed it shut with unneeded force.

" What's wrong?" Alice's happy voice chimed.

" Edward being an ass. I really don't want to talk." I said, spatting his name with venom.

_How could he just brush me off like that?_

_Am I just not good enough anymore?_

All of a sudden he starts acting this way after I pointed out how he is acting. It's not my fault he is acting this way.

I swung my bag over my shoulder and rested my head on the locker. When Edward came through the doors, Tanya on his arm, I immediatly stood straight and made my way towards Algebra. I was going to sit next to Jessica, but saw that Eric Yorke had taken it. I took my seat at the table and set my bag down as Edward came in.

I got out my notebook and pen when Mr. Brooks started out with his lesson. I wrote down the important notes, ignoring the small comments he made inbetween. When I flipped my page to write on the back I had realized I was pressing down way to much on the pen, seeing the indents on the back of the page.

Edward's friendship is important to me and if I couldn't have him the way I truly wanted, I just had to settle for what I could get. His actions of brushing me off hurt more then I thought and this time, he had to fix it.

Ratting him out wasn't a good thing to do. My thoughts were that Esme and Carlisle can help him get out of this transition. He has a good head on his shoulders, but right now, he is not using it.

I was brought out of my thoughts when a peice of paper slid next to me.

**I can see you fuming in you're seat.**

I grabbed my pen and wrote quickly back.

**Oh, so ****now**** your talking to me? I'm not in the mood for games, nor am I ever. You should know that.**

I slid it over to him and he read it before writing a response.

**Isabella, you told my parents all that shit. How can you excpect me to not get upset**

I rolled my eyes before replying

**I don't like how you have been starting to act. What happened to sitting at the lunch table with us. You stopped last year when you started playing football. You make it seem like I am important, yet you are always shoving things in my face, like your girlfriend. **

When I gave the paper back to him he gripped his pen tightly and wrote back.

**Shove her in your face. How so?!**

I wanted to slap him.

**First day of school. We are talking and Tanya calls your name, you go over and shove your tongue down her throat. At the water park, I come back from going down the tube with Alice. Your making out with her, on my tanning bed, laying on my towel. Last year, you tell me that you think I should get a boyfriend because I look 'lonely' and that you would also want me to have one, so that I can give you more time with Tanya. Do you realize how that made me feel? Like you want her around more then me**

He didn't reply when I wrote that. Instead he crumpled the paper in his hands.

I heard the bell ring and quickly stood up, standing infront of the table where he was collecting his books.

" We both know that you can't handle the truth." I asked calmly

He didn't respond so I walked away, heading towards my History class.

----

For the rest of the school day I ignored Edward. Not wanting to get more hurt by his attitude that I was getting sick of. He had never acted this way towards me, ever, and I didn't understand why now. It was the beginning of the year and I was just hoping to have a better one then the last.

Then all this shit happened and I am stuck with someone who wants me to not be around them as often. He stormed off after the kitchen incident and now he just won't let it go.

When I got home from school I went straight to my bedroom. I paced around the room, running my hands through my hair frantically. My mind was jumbled with panicked thoughts.

I had no idea why I was panicking so much. This was just a little scuff. We would get through it. Everything was going be fi-

" ISABELLA!" I heard the familar voice of my mother yell.

I walked out of my bedroom and to the top of the stairs, " Yeah?"

" Esme and I are going out to do some shopping. I'll be back sometime tonight."

I nodded in understanding and she looked at me skeptically.

" Are you okay, sweetie?"

" Fine." I answered.

She grabbed her handbag and walked out of the front door. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen, deciding to make dinner for my dad. I cooked up some steak and potatoes for him. By the time he was home at six he ate my meal graciously and happily

I pushed my food around, not hungry at all. When dad was done I cleaned up the dishes and he went into the living room, watching his usual baseball games. I washed the counters and table off before going upstairs to finish my homework.

After nine, my father was already in bed. My mother still wasn't home, and I felt claustrophobic in my little bedroom. Needing some fresh air, I walked downstairs and went out the back door. I went down the steps and laid down on the ground, staring up at the bright stars.

Edward and I would be fine. We had to be.

Footsteps to the right of me sounded and I could feel the presence of the person as they sat next to me.

" What's wrong, dear?" Esme's soothing voice whispered.

I wanted to talk to someone, anyone. If I were to tell Esme, I knew she would stay quiet. If I told my mother, then she would blab to someone. At the moment I couldn't tell Esme. Not yet. It was too early and this thing with Edward only started recently.

" Nothing. I just needed to get out of the house. Needed to breathe."

Her hand rubbed up and down my arm " Things with Edward will get better. I know that he is acting out now. But it's just a phase."

I sat up, running a hand through my hair " Hope so."

She stood and gave me her hand. I stood up and wished her a goodbye before walking into the house and up to my room. By my bathroom door I had noticed Edward's grey zip up hoodie. I scooped it up and sighed, I would bring it to him.

This was just another excuse to see him. Why was I trying to find those?

I jogged downstairs and out the front door. When I got into the Cullen's house I walked in and saw Carlisle, he was walking through the foyer, holding papers or some sort. He was wearing his glasses and looking at the stack intently.

" Bella, what a surprise. Everything okay?" he asked, his head cocking upwards.

" Yes. Edward forgot his hoodie."

He nodded and I walked up the first flight of stairs to his bedroom. Before walking in I knocked on the door softly. I heard him murmur 'come in', and opened the door. He seemed surprised to see me when looking up from his laptop.

I draped his hoodie on his white lounger and looked towards him.

" You left your hoodie at my house," I said quietly " I figured that I'd give it back if you don't come over this weekend. I'll just go now." I explained, turning to walk out of his room.

" Wait!" he said suddenly.

I turned around

" You look... not like you. What's wrong?" he asked, pushing his laptop away.

I swear my mouth almost dropped open, " Do you not remember the notes this afternoon. How you just crumpled up the paper like what I said was nothing?" I asked.

" Bella, it was stupid to just say all that at breakfast, and it hurt my feelings knowing that you could just rat me out like it was nothing. Why do you care about me having a girlfriend so much and what I do with her? It's never mattered before now. Who cares if I smoke every once in awhile and if I swear. I'm going to be seventeen, Bella, and eighteen after that. After that I am off to college and who knows where I'll end up. You and I will probably split up at some point. We can't have eachother as a clutch all the time. I can't constantly be around you whenever you need me."

I fought the traitor tears " Fine... Smoke until your lungs are black, swear until your throat is dry and have as much sex with your girlfriend as you want. Just don't come to me and tell me how much _I _hurt you." I stated firmly, walking from his room and harshly shut his door.

I made my way downstairs and let the tears fall. Luckily I didn't run into Carlisle and Esme. I didn't want to have to explain to them what had occured.

----

When I got home and to my bedroom Edward's curtains were now wide open and he was looking out the window, just waiting for me. I kept my head down and shut my curtains before getting into bed and turning the television on.

My eyes drooped and shut tightly until I fell into a restless sleep

_Dream 3rd Person POV_

_"Just don't come to me and tell me how much I hurt you"_

_"Why do you care about me having a girlfriend and what I do with her"_

_"What I do with her."_

_"What I do with her."_

_Bella stood in the familar setting of the forest in the back of her house, shaking, scared, and laying on the cold wet floor. Mud was splattered on her bare legs, and her hands were bleeding from the sharp points on the twigs. Edward stood across from her, fuming and a beat red face. His hands clutched into tight fists._

_" Why do you care?!" he screamed, glaring down at her with cold, cruel eyes._

_End Of Dream_

I awoke screaming and gasping for air. My father was standing at the end of the bed, and seemed to be on the phone talking to someone. My mother was beside me, looking scared and panicked.

" Isabella, what is going on? Why were you screaming and thrashing, sweetheart." She asked me hurridly, looking down at me terrified.

I felt my head spinning for an odd reason. My stomach churned and I shot up from bed and ran to the bathroom, wretching violently into the toilet. My chest felt constricted and panic creeped inside of me, lingering through my body.

" Whats happening?!" Esme screeched from my bedroom.

Carlisle was in the bathroom in moments and he knelt down next to me.

I wretched in the toilet more, my breathing becoming heavy. I saw blackness scatter across my vision before my brain shut down and my world went black, five people screaming my name.

----

" She must of had a panic attack in her sleep. That is probably what caused it all. Edward, tell me what happened when she left last night."

" Nothing," he spat.

" Son, this behavior is unacceptable." Esme said sternly.

My head was pounding in my ears and I wanted to tell them to stop screaming. Why were they talking so loud?

I felt a cold hand pressing against my forehead.

" She's coming around,"

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly before opening them. Everyone was crowded around my bed, staring at me with worried eyes. Carlisle sat next to me on the bed and looked at me very seriously.

" How are you feeling?"

" Headache," I rasped.

" Anything else."

I shook my head slowly and started to sit up. The clock read 3:27am. I felt like I was soaked in sweat, and I probably was. When my gaze locked with Edward's, I put my head down.

" Go," I whispered.

" Bella, I-"

" Don't. It doesn't matter anyways. We'll split up some day anyways, right? I'll save you the trouble, just go." I choked out.

Esme stared at Edward " You told her what?!"

" Mom, it's nothing I ju-"

" I do not know what is going on with you but your in trouble. Why in the hell would you tell her that? Ever stop to think that she has feelings? Or are you to absorbed in yourself to realize the fact. I have never seen this behavior come from you Edward Anthony." Carlisle interrupted.

I laid back down and felt my hips being covered with a blanket. I relaxed into my bed and shut my eyes.

" Just sleep, okay." My father whispered " I'll excuse you from school tomorrow."

" Sleep, honey." Esme said, kissing my forehead.

" I'll check on you tomorrow." Carlisle said whistfully.

" Were leaving. Now, Edward." They scolded.

I took deep breaths and tried my best to fall asleep, hopefully no nightmares the second time around. Instead of sleep coming I just kept shifting around, not able to be comfortable. I finally hugged a pillow to my chest a few hours later and drifted off to sleep.

---

When I awoke it was dark outside, moon the only light. There was a cool hand on my forehead, feeling for fever.

Carlisle.

" Sleep well, sweetheart?" he asked.

I groaned and stayed still. He chuckled " I'll take that as a kind of."

" Sorry about last night," I rasped through a dry voice.

He shook his head " Bella, don't apologize. You needed something, and that was us. Now, would you like to tell me what happened last night between you and my son?"

" H-He told me that the stuff I said at breakfast was mean, and that I can't have him as a clutch because one day we'll probably split." I said through tears.

Carlisle wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close " I'm sorry, honey. Look, Esme and I will talk to him and see what is going on. He's been locked up in his room since school ended."

I nodded and got out of bed. My clothes felt all gross against my skin and my hair was all greasy and stringy feeling.

" I'm going to take a shower now. I'll see you later."

Carlisle gave me one last hug and left the room as I walked into the bathroom. I turned the hot water on and threw my clothes off my body. I stood on the shower, letting the water drip down my body. I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath.

When I finished washing my body I lathered my hair up in shampoo and conditionar. Once it was all rinsed I walked out of the shower and put a towel around my body. I walked out into my bedroom and went to my drawers. I dried my body off and slipped on my underwear and bra.

I put on a fresh pair of pajama's and went back to sleep after drowning a cup of water.

----

Wednesday

August 31st

---

In the morning I knew it was time for me to get up and go to school. I reluctently got out of bed at six, feeling energized but run down at the same time. I knew that I would probably end up driving myself to school. We have always been together on our way to school so it would be strange.

I showered and dressed for school, then went downstairs and drank a cup of coffee, sugar and cream added. My mother walked into the room, wearing flannel pajama pants and a silk robe. Her hair was curly and shoved back into a small ponytail. She kissed the top of my head.

" How are you this morning?"

" Fine," I stated quietly

" He came over last night. I told him it would be best to give you space." she said quietly, popping four peices of toast in the toaster.

I shrugged

" This all happened so fast, sweetie. What happened?"

" I don't want to talk about it."

She sighed " You told Carlisle. But he won't tell anyone. Why can you tell him, but not your own mother?"

I took a sip of my coffee and picked up the mug. I dumped the small amount of remains in the sink and dropped it in the soapy water. My car keys were on the counter so I grabbed them and swung my bag over my shoulder.

" I'll see you later."

When I walked out of the house I walked to my car. I could hear the purr of the Volvo but wouldn't dare look in his direction. When I slid into my car I turned on the music, throwing my bag in the passenger seat.

Arriving at school I took Edward's normal parking space just to piss him off. He always got so angry when he found his spot taken. All of the people at the school knew that it was his. I turned my car off and slid out just as Edward drove into the parking lot. Not wanting confrontation I darted into the school and to my locker.

Five minutes later a seething Edward opened his locker, staring at me.

" What the hell, Isabella Marie?"

I winced at the use of my full name " Your the one who started this and since your no longer driving me to school, I took my own car and parked in the space. It doesn't have your name written on it." I said nonchalantly, closing my locker as Alice's bounded up by my side.

" Hey! So, Newton is throwing one of his blow-out parties on Friday since his parents are out. I know you don't usually come bu-"

" Sure, I'll come. I could really use some fun." I sighed.

She stared at me " Seriously. You never go. Well, the party starts at seven, make yourself hot and I'll pick you up at six fourty five."

I smiled " Okay, Alice."

With a happy giggle she bounded off down the linoleum ground. Jaspers hand linked around hers. I smiled in their direction. My smile soon faded when I heard the next line of words from Edward's mouth.

" _Your _going to Newtons party?" Edward asked.

" Yeah, do you have an issue with that?"

He glared at me " Whatever."

" Why are you acting this way towards me?" I demanded

" I don't know, okay... Just... Nevermind."

His hand ran through his hair as he made his way down the hall to Algebra.

I was the one who was late to class that day.

**Authors Note- I forgot to publish this. I am so sorry, but it's only thirty minutes until Saturday. I can't believe I forgot, but hey, if you are lucky, I will update tomorrow because I feel bad...**


	6. First Time Partier

**Authors Note- Happy Ambivalence Friday, everyone! So...Anybody see a 'Remember Me' trailer. I did, and it makes me more and more excited for March 12th. Sorry I did not update last Saturday, but it wasn't a guaranteed. I hadn't gotten to my computer until after midnight and I was just drained from the days events.**

**Read on!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. If I owned Edward he would go to EA! Of course, Carlisle would be locked in my basement for eternity so I could do as I wish.**

BPOV

On Thurdays lunch I was walking in the cafeteria, making myself a salad, which was normally what I ate during lunch. I messed around with the hard boiled eggs, lettuce, carrots and cucumber. When I was satisfied with how it looked I drizzled italian dressing over it, grabbing a plastic fork to eat with.

I sat in the normal table in the middle of the cafeteria with Emmett, Alice, Rose and Jasper. They were eating their lunch and chatting amongst themselfs. I set my bowl down and dug in.

" Bella's usual edible art." Rosalie stated, looking at my salad.

I smiled shyly " Yeah..."

Behind me I felt someone gripping the chair. I stayed still, knowing who it was by just the mere presence.

" Hey, guys." Edward said, taking his normal seat next to me, draping his arm across the back of my chair like everything was perfectly fine. It's not like they knew what happened.

I picked up my fork and stabbed a peice of lettuce with it, getting a carrot also. I jammed it into my mouth and chewed slowly.

" So, Bella. Alice here tells me your going to Newton's party. I thought you would come up with an excuse to study, since Friday is normally when you and Edward study and do homework together. I would think Ed would ditch and you stay home."

" I just need some fun. Didn't have the best weekend." I stated.

" Stub a toe?" Rose asked

" Hit your head on something?" Jasper asked.

" Hospital visit?" Emmett chortled.

" I KNOW! You got your period!" Alice chimed.

I stared at them incredulously " Um no. And Alice, don't shout that in a cafeteria or in the presence of Emmett and Jasper!" I scolded.

" You forgot to mention, Edward." she informed me.

Edward laughed loudly " Well, Alice. When she was twelve, I was the first person she told. She was quite frightened and she was scared to tell her mother. I somehow convinced her to do it."

My eyes bugged out of my head and everyone at the table laughed, a bright red blush spread across my cheeks and I moved my leg over to kick Edward in the shin. He winced and muttered an 'ow'.

Rose slammed her hand on the table, still in hysterics. Tears streaming down her face. I desperately wanted to slap her just to make her stop laughing.

" Stop it! That is so embarassing."

" You were scared to tell you mom! Of all people! But you told, Edward. And he was a boy!" Alice said, not believing it.

I elbowed her ribs " I knew he wouldn't say anything! I was scared and... I just really don't want to talk about it. That's personal." I said with finalty

Emmett finally shut up and resumed eating his buffalo wings. Alice took a bite of her pizza and slid it over to Jasper, who also took a bite.

If anyone else heard that conversation, I would be made fun of for life... and then I would kick Alice.

-----

I couldn't really believe myself when I stood infront of the mirror. I was seriously going to a party. One that was liable to have beer. One where people would be basically humping eachother all over the place, and having sex in the bedrooms on the second floor. Stereotypical

Partying was never my scene but as I said, I needed fun. With Edward's constant attitude at me I was just getting run down. Sleep hadn't come easy last night, I was up all night having strange nightmares.

Tonight, I was wearing tight medium washed denim jeans with my black boots that hugged my calf. The heel was tall but I could handle it. My top was a white racer back and I had on a black vest over it that ended above my belly button and had a deep V. It was meant to go over clothes. I was going to button it, but all it did was squish my boobs together and make me feel like I was suffocating.

My make-up was light and my hair was curled and shiny. I looked at myself once more in the mirror before stuffing my phone in my pocket and walking downstairs. I had informed my parents I was attending this party. They were a little wary, saying I was only sixteen and there would be drinking. My father was very opposed.

I thanked my mom for convincing him to let me go, on a few conditions:

No drinking.

Have my phone on me at all times.

Make sure that I have atleast one friend around. Them being Alice, Rose, Emmett, Jasper or Edward.

Edward's parents aren't home, so we both had to make sure that we called if we slept over at his house, which was not going to happened. But if we came here, Edward had to sleep over.

Those were basically the rules. A loud honk from a familar Porshe broke me out of my trace. I said goodbye to my parents and bounded down the steps. Quickly jumping into Alice's canary yellow car.

She had a huge smile on her face driving the whole way there. I shifted in my seat when the loud music from a minute away sounded.

Mike Newton may be a tad creepy, but he threw awesome parties from what I heard. Alice said that he never half- assed anything. The only thing was that nobody that was a freshmen could come, which was understandable because they are only fourteen or fifteen.

Alice parked on the curb next to the big grey mansion. The lawn was covered in lights and kids were walking around, drinks in hand. When Alice got out of the car I could see her outfit in full. She was wearing a purple dress, that looked like one for clubbing and she had on four inch white heels. Her hair was in it's normal spike and her eyes were smokey looking.

When walking inside the house she turned to me.

" If you need me, just text okay. If you can't get a hold of me then try Rose or someone alright. I'm going to find Jazz." Alice stated, giving me a hug before running off.

I walked around, feeling a little out of my element. When I spotted Emmett he was at the snack table, no surprise there, and he was digging his hands into everything he could. With a laugh I walked over to him.

A goofy grin spread across is face when he saw me. He lifted me up in a bone-crushing hug.

" Hey, Bells! Fancy seeing you here, girly girl."

He was most definately crazy. In his right hand was a beer and it seemed to be almost empty. I eyed it, just wondering what it taste like. Emmett held it out to me, silently knowing I wanted it.

_Your parents told you not to!_

When have I ever just not listened for once?

Without hesitance I tipped the beer bottle to my mouth and took a sip. I abruptly pulled it back and gagged.

" Shit, Em. This taste like piss." I complained, wiping my mouth.

He laughed and drank the rest " You develope a taste for it after awhile."

I shook my head and walked into the kitchen. There was a huge punch bowl, no doubt spiked, but I got a glass of it anyways. I chugged down the first, feeling the burn of what was probably Vodka. I filled it up again before walking towards the huge living room.

The music blared from the black speakers and people danced and grinded. I could faintly spot Edward sitting on the couch, Tanya perched in his lap as he talked with a player. She ran her hands up and down his chest and kissed his neck. He would turn his head every few seconds and kiss her neck in response. Making her smile in satisfaction.

She was wearing a glittery white dress. More like a scrap of fabric. It was tight and short, which didn't look right. She was wearing red heels that were probably higher then Alice's and her make-up was all pink.

As I walked further into the room my heels tapped on the floor. I caught sight of Alice, who was shamelessly making-out with Jasper in a overstuffed arm chair. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned around to see James Laurent, a guy who is in my history class. He's kinda cute. Short blonde hair and stubble on his jaw, his bright blue eyes out shined Rosalie's, which was a shock.

" Bella, right?" he asked.

" Um, yeah." I said nervously.

He chuckled " Your in my history class. I'm James... I've never seen you at one of Newts parties."

" It's not really my scene. I just needed some fun."

A smile spread across his face " Well, I am just the guy to deliver." he said, wrapping his arm around my waist.

He didn't make me feel uncomfortable, so I guess that must be good. The song changed and James rested his hands on my hips swaying slowly.

" I can't really dance," I whispered in his ear.

James grabbed my right hand with his and spun me outwards, coming forward and wrapping his arms around my waist, moving us to the beat of the music.

" Lucky for you, I can."

To each song there was a different sway. He was gentlemenly enough not to grind against me, probably knowing that it would make me uncomfortable. When another song stopped so did I.

" I'm going to get a drink." I stated.

He smiled and nodded and I went out to the kitchen. I re-filled my glass for the third time. I was feeling a little buzzed but I was on a high dancing with him. I handed him a drink and he downed it quickly. I drank mine down and he swept me up into his arms once again.

EPOV

My eyes couldn't leave the scene infront of me. I was appauled and shocked. It was like a car accident, bad, but not able to look away when you pass it. Tanya was talking with Lauren, one of her good friends, while I went off to get drinks.

Thats when I saw her.

I did see her throughout the night, dancing with James Laurent. He was a nice guy, never did anything around school that seemed bad. He played on the Track team and worked for the schools paper with Eric Yorke.

Bella had dranken alot of the punch, probably full well knowing it was spiked. I drank a glass, but that was it. I was not going to get drunk because I knew that I had to keep an eye on Bella.

I couldn't see her for the past hour, but then I got up and went into the kitchen to get some punch for Tanya and water for me.

Thats when I saw Bella through the sliding glass door outside. My eyes couldn't peel away from her outfit for some reason. Her pants were tight and her boots were tall. Her shirt was fitting and her long hair was curled.

She was straddling James Laurent's lap and her mouth was glued to his. I could see his hands wandering over her and it was not just drunken groping. I could tell that he wasn't drunk. It was Bella who was.

I angrily slid open the door and walked over to the chair. I almost threw up when I saw her grinding on him. Quickly, I grabbed her around the waist and yanked her away from James, who was shocked.

Bella slumped against me and I could smell the alcohol on her. I stood infront of her and glared at James. Everyone knew how protective of her I was. It was no joke, and nobody would take advantage of my friend.

" What the hell do you think you were doing?!" I screamed " Taking advantage of her when she is drunk and you clearly aren't!"

" Why do you always ruin all the fun?" Bella groaned into my ear.

James stood up and backed away " I'm sorry. We were just dancing and she said that she wanted some air because she felt claustorphobic. I sat down in a chair and she was on my lap. I wasn't going to have sex with her, dude. But I'm a guy and once she got going..." he said sincerely.

I sighed " Whatever, okay. But you should stopped her. The whole school fucking knowns how protective I am. If I ever see you doing what you were just doing with her, I won't hesitate to get the Police Chief on your ass."

He nodded and walked straight away. I turned back to Bella, her eyes were glazed over and she looked like she was about to fall. I scooped her up in my arms and she pushed me away.

" Don't fucking touch me. You... You hurt my feelings and made me feel bad." she mumbled.

I kissed the top of her head " We'll talk okay."

I could tell she was upset and I couldn't blame her. I had acted like an ass on Monday and I knew it. Bella always came first in my life and I seemed to forget it but when she went off in class I lost it and had to fight back.

Tanya does take up alot of my time. I just like being around her because I like to be. But then I always forgot about Bella, who had always been around for me and was always there when I needed her about anything.

I didn't want us to split up in life. I was afraid it would happen.

---

When I got back in the house I had to tell Tanya I had to go. She was upset and said that it was only 1:00am, but I had to get Bella back. She was all giggly, but then all angry. I would have to take her to my house because if Charlie and Renee saw this... We would get in huge trouble.

I pecked Tanya on the cheek and told Alice that I was getting Bella home. She nodded and I dragged Bella outside. She was trying to make me let go of her wrists and she was planting her feet hard on the ground so it was hard to drag her away.

" Bella, please, babe. Just let me get you back and you can go rabid around my house."

She huffed and stumbled to the car, she tugged relentlessly on the handle until I unlocked it and got in with an angry sigh. I started up my Volvo and drove towards my house. Bella rested her hand on the head rest and turned her head towards me, a weird dreamy look on her face.

" Edward," she started " Why are you so damn cute?" she asked me seriously.

I chuckled and ran a nervous hand through my hair " Um..."

" Why?" now she was demanding.

" I don't know, my parents?"

She giggled drunkenly and turned her head to the windshield " Yeah... Your dad is pretty cute. To bad your mom has him."

A groan of dissapointment fell from her lips and I laughed once again. " Bella, do you have the hott's for my dad."

" No!" she refused " But your pretty cute. Wouldn't mind being locked in a closet with you for a few hours."

My eyes shot to hers. She was clearly joking.

" Seriously, Bella? That's funny. Were like best friends." I said, parking on the driveway of my house.

She got out of the car and mumbled something to her self. I locked up the car and helped her up the steps. When we got in I locked the door. My parents were gone for today and were coming back tomorrow afternoon. My father had to travel for an open heart surgery taking place in Washington and mom hated being away from him when he traveled.

I thanked my lucky stars...

Bella stumbled up the stairs and I flipped open my cell phone to call Renee and Charlie. They picked up on the first ring, basically expecting the call.

" Hey. Bella is going to stay with me over here. She passed out in the car and it was easier to get her to my house."

" Okay, sweetie. Is she okay, no drinking?"

I smiled " Nope, perfectly sober. She was just a dancing machine." I lied smoothly.

Renee chuckled " Alright, sleep well both of you."

I wished her a goodbye and went upstairs. When I got to my bedroom I almost backed out and ran away. Bella had taken off her vest and top and was shuffling through my drawers, wearing only a bra on her top half.

This was my best friend for gods sake!

" Where the hell is a shirt when I need one?"

I rolled my eyes " Bella, your looking through my pants drawer."

She giggled and I walked over to the dresser. I handed her one of my shirts and she reached behind her.

" Whoa there. Bella, I have a bathroom." I objected quickly.

She stood up and looked up at me through her eye lashes. " I knowwwww, but 'ight now, I don't care." she slurred.

I went into the bathroom and shut the door quickly. Atleast she wasn't all touch feely. That would be so wrong.

I took a piss and dressed for bed, hoping that Bella was already dressed her self. When I opened the door it was dark in the room. The moon shone through the window and I could see all of Bella's clothes scattered around. Oh fucking god please tell me she put on the shirt and kept pants on.

Her jeans were mocking me from the floor and I groaned. Her bra was strewn right across the middle of my floor. If any person were to walk in here, it would be obvious what they would think.

On my bed, Bella was sprawled out in the middle, ontop of my sheets. Her legs were bare but I could see a part of her underwear which was like a tiny pair of shorts. My shirt went a few inchs below her hip and I sighed in relief.

I got into bed next to her and shifted her around to get the covers over her. She was awake, but acting fairly cranky.

" Stop moving me!" she screeched into my ear.

" Jesus, Bella!" I yelled back in protest.

She rested her body a little more close to mine then normal. A cool shiver shook her and she rested her face close to my neck, I could feel her breath against it as she breathed. My nose wrinkled at the smell of alcohol and punch mixed. I draped the blanket over us and kissed the top of her head.

" Sleep, okay?"

She mumbled incoherantly and I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

----

BPOV

I awoke at three in the morning to a pounding headache. My head was pulsing and I felt like someone had just twisted it all around and knocked it against a wall over and over again.

The headache wasn't was made me wake up though. It was the swirly nauseous feeling in my stomach. I lurked out of what seemed to be Edward's bed, and ran straight to his bathroom. I bent down by the toilet and wretched into it violently.

Behind me I felt familar hands hold my hair back. I could feel little sparks when his skin made contact with mine. A clammy moisture broke out on my skin as I continued to vomit. My throat was burning slightly and my head was spinning. I felt like I was about to throw up my actual stomach.

Edward flushed the toilet in the middle of my throwing up, only for me to start at it again.

After round six I stood up and washed out my mouth in the sink. I felt completely drained and felt like I was about to drop to the ground. Edward swept me up in his strong arms and walked us back to his bed. I slumped against the mattress and rolled onto my side.

" Are you going to ignore me?" he asked.

" That's the plan." I grumbled.

His wrapped his arm around my waist and turned me to face him. I stared up him, my head against his shoulder. His back was propped up on the headboard and he was looking down at me.

" Bella," he started " I don't want us to ever split up. It's what I'm afraid of, it's not what I want. You mean so much to me. We grew up together and it's not just because of that. I've always confinded it you for everything because I can talk to you about everything. I don't mean to push you away just because I have a girlfriend now. I feel like a complete ass for doing it but I still love you, Bella. Your...Your always first on my list, you will always come first in my life, no matter what."

I looked down at our hands, just wishing he meant he loved me in a different way. The way I wanted him to mean it. Tears dripped down my face and I quickly wiped them.

Edward wrapped his arms around me " I'm so sorry, Iz B." he whispered.

" It's okay. Let's just forget about it."

" I can't forget about it when I hurt you... Fuck, Bella what was that nightmare about?"

I shifted nervously " Nothing really."

He looked at me skeptically. I was a horrible liar, everybody knew that.

" Bella," he started.

" It was stupid, Edward. Your words just echoed in my head."

" Like?"

I sighed " Nothing, just the comment about what you do with your girlfriend." I said quickly.

Edward released me and I sat up against the headboard next to him. He looked at me a hint of blush on his cheeks.

He didn't...

" Edward... You haven't... With her?" I stammered.

I stared at him. He always told me about that kind of stuff. Hell, I told him about the time I made-out with creepy Newton in the hallway during lunch hour. From what I heard about Tanya, which I hate talking about, all they do is kiss. If she defiled him...

I felt like an overprotective mother, which was stupid. Edward's virginity was something that was his buisness.

_Please, Edward, tell me you didn't lose it to her. I'd rather it be Lauren Mallory!_

" Not...tecnically." he stated looking away.

" Tecnically? Edward, its either you did. Or didnt."

" No, okay... Shit, Bella, I'm only sixteen and I may be... I am not even going to say it... but I'll atleast wait a year or two. Hell, I am all for sex after marriage." he said, clearly embarassed.

I let out a gush of air " Thank god," I muttered to myself.

When I looked over at him, his face was flaming. I laughed " It's a good thing, Edward."

" What about you, Bella? I mean, the way you were straddling James Laurent last night..."

" WHAT?! Edward, what the hell did happen last night. I can't remember after the third glass of...punch"

" I was with, Tanya. I saw you dancing with him but when I got more punch I saw you in the backyard, and you were in his lap kissing him. After I ripped you off him I yelled at him. He apologized, basically saying that he was a guy and you were pretty... He just left after apologizing for it all."

" Atleast he has some decency... Thanks for doing that though. I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like me and I just wa-"

" Bella, it's fine. Your home with me and everything is okay."

I shifted my legs under the white and black sheets, the softness feeling nice under my bare legs.

_Bare legs?_

Quickly I scrambled upright, feeling below the covers.

" You let me strip in here, while you were here?!" I yelled.

He shook his head " No, but you were very willing to give me a show. I escaped to the bathroom before you molested me."

My jaw dropped and I slapped his arm " Me, molest you? That's like- Eww, no. Never."

_Liar!_

I sighed in relief knowing I was atleast wearing underwear with the shirt. Around the room my clothes were scattered around, pants, shirts... I got up from the bed and collected my clothes.

" Sorry about this... About everything. I was so stupid and you shouldn't have to deal with that," I said, snatching up my vest.

" Were best friends, we are supposed to have eachothers back."

I smiled at him and stumbled into his bathroom. I re-dressed with my clothes from last night and walked back into his bedroom. Edward was still lazing around in his bed and I smiled at the sight.

" I should probably head home. Thanks for taking care of me." I said quietly.

He smiled at me " Of course, Iz."

I slipped out of his bedroom and leaned against the wall.

I'd never wanted to kiss him so much in my life.

**Authors Note- So, drunk Bella? Are we liking it? Well, it won't happen for a while so don't expect more drunk Bella anytime soon. Now drunk Edward...Well maybe if you guys are lucky...**


	7. Seventeen

**Authors Note- Anybody watch The British Acedemy Film Awards? Anyone? Well, I did. Quite good. Robert was attending, and Anna Kendrick was on stage in a elegant, strapless, yellow gown. The anticipation for ' Remember Me' is building, and of course--**

**The first Eclipse Trailer is playing in previews when you go see it... Well, if some of you didn't know that, then you are welcome.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**-----**

September 3rd

Saturday

Day after party

-----

BPOV

When I got home my parents weren't in the kitchen, but the sun was just starting to rise. I checked my phone and saw it was five twenty three, in the morning. Of course they wouldn't be awake.

I ran up to my room and took off my clothes. I reeked of alcohol and if my parent smelt that, my cover was blown. Secrets are rarely kept in this family, but this was was going straight into the vault. I knew that Edward would keep his mouth closed, he was never one to tattle-tale.

After a shower I went to bed, feeling drained and exhausted from last night. My mouth was minty and I thanked god for toothpaste. Vomit breath was definately not attractive, especially ontop of morning breath.

Sleep came quickly, but I was awoken too soon by the feeling of something manuevering around my bed. My lavender sheets being pealed from my body slowly, I grasped for them, wanting to feel the warmness once again.

" I think you should get up."

" I think you should go away." I retorted

He chuckled and poked my ribs. I jumped about a foot in the air, my forehead knocking into Edward's jaw, that cracked in protest. He basically jumped off my bed, and screeched like a little girl who fell off a swing. He ran into my bathroom quickly.

" Oh my god! Edward, are you okay. I am so sorry."

Edward cradled his jaw, staring at it in my bathroom mirror. He opened and closed his mouth, shifting his jaw around. Charlie suddenly bursted into my room, looking at me with panic filling his eyes. I smiled wryly at him.

" Bella, why did you scream?"

I almost laughed.

_Almost._

" That was, Edward. I hit his jaw with my head."

" Why on earth would you do that?" he asked incredulously.

I pointed towards Edward " He was the one who poked me. It's a natural reaction to jump!" I exclaimed

Charlie looked in the bathroom " You okay, son?"

" I'm accusing her of assult. This is the money maker! If you broke my jaw then I would of killed you." Edward said, rubbing his jaw.

" Your such a girl." I muttered to myself.

My father chuckled and looked at me, his eyes looking over my clothes. " Isabella! Dress decent for sleeptime. Your do not wear... that to bed. Especially with a boy in your bedroom." he scolded.

" It's, Edward! Like he is going to do anything." I said in response, covering my body with blankets.

After I had taken a shower I just threw on my panties, which were boyshorts, and slipped on a blue t-shirt. I hadn't anticipated Edward coming here...

I shook my head, getting my thoughts to dissapear. Charlie left my bedroom, and a complaining Edward in the bathroom. I buried myself under the covers as I heard Edward muttering to himself.

When he was done staring at himself in the mirror, I heard his footsteps across the room. He settled on my bed next to me and poked my ribs once again, this time I only twitched. Suddenly I felt his hands on my ribs and he started to tickle me. I screeched before I broke out in fits of laughter, at the same time trying to bat him away.

" E-E-Edwa-Edward. S-S-Stop. Ca... Shit, can't breathe!" I screamed between laughter.

" That's what you get for hitting me!" he said as he took his hands off me. I sat up and looked at him, a small smile on my face. " Your fine."

He glared at me " And you know how?"

I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his jaw, my lips pressed against it longer then appropriate, but I couldn't exactly help myself. When I pulled back he had an unreadable expression on his face.

" Kissed it better. Now I think I smell french toast..." I trailed off.

" Let's go!" he said, dragging me out of bed.

" I'd best put on pants."

He laughed " Wouldn't want to give my father the wrong idea."

My head spun around and I glared at him " What?"

" Last night you said Carlisle was cute."

I blushed a deep red " Oh my god. Edward, he's like my dad. That's just gross. I mean he's nice looking but I do not-"

" No need to elaborate, nutbar."

I shuffled through my dresser and produced a pair of black shorts. I quickly slipped them on and threw my hair up in a ponytail. Edward slipped out of my bedroom door and darted down the stairs, me right after him. We hung a right to the kitchen, and sitting in the mismatched chairs were our parents.

" Morning... I presume things were resolved last night?" Esme asked.

Edward put his arm around my shoulder and squished me to him.

"Yeah, it was just a mis-understanding. Now, is that french toast?"

We stared at the plate, five peices left. I jumped at a plate and grabbed for them. Edward shoved me out of the way and grabbed a third peice. I tried grabbing it from him, shoving him back and smacking his hands away.

He laughed maniacally and ran into the living room with the third peice.

" I HATE YOU, CULLEN!" I shouted, running after him with my plate in hand.

" NO RUNNING WITH FOOD!" Our parents shouted at us

We came to a stop by the coffee table, Edward on one side and I on the other.

" Hand it over and nobody gets hurt." I warned

Edward laughed once again " Settle down, Swan. It's mine, don't be jealous."

I huffed and sat on the couch. He warily sat down next to me and picked up his fork. Just as he wasn't looking I bit his wrist, making him yelp and drop the fork. I grabbed the french toast and took a bite out of it, standing up and quickly running to the kitchen.

"Bella! Get the fuck over here." Edward yelled.

" Language!" Esme yelled

I ran behind Carlisle, who seemed startled by my presence for a moment.

" Don't let him get me!" I screeched as Edward ran into the room. He stopped infront of Carlisle with an evil glare.

" Isabella!"

I ate the second peice of french toast and grabbed the third, setting my plate down and making a mad dash for the front door. I whipped it open and ran into the front yard, laughing the whole way.

" Bella. Just give it to me!" he yelled, chasing me around the house.

Finally he caught me around the waist and I squealed, dropping the sacred french toast.

" EDWARD?!" I heard Tanya's voice screech from his lawn.

I was immediatly dropped and I tucked a stray hair behind my ear. Edward stood, straightening out his clothes as she walked over. She looked me up and down with distaste before looking at him.

" What was _that _little display about?"

" French toast. Bella didn't want to give it to me." Edward said simply, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

She scoffed " Over toast? Seriously? That's stupid... What are _you _doing here?"

" Well, it is my house." I informed her.

" Whatever." she said, ignoring me and staring down at the french toast that was in the grass.

Edward stared down at it and sighed " Such a waste. It's all your fault. If you never bit me then it would be in my stomach."

" Your the one who chased me!" I accused.

He shrugged.

" You _bit _him?" Tanya asked, clearly annoyed.

" Tanya, we were just messin' around."

She glared at me " What are you, some rabid vampire?"

Edward stood infront of me " That's enough, okay? We were just fooling around."

"Fooling around?" she said, bringing her attention back to me " Next thing I know you'll be all over him. This relationship, best be just friendship." she spat.

I clenched my eyes shut before turning around and walking away. That little comment hit me straight in the heart.

" Iz!" Edward shouted

I shut the front door as Esme and Carlisle stood in the tiny foyer. Since they had come over to eat breakfast, we decided for them to not come over at dinner time, they had explained.

" Where's Edward?"

" With his girlfriend." I stated, walking up the stairs.

------

Tuesday

September 13th

Edward and Bella's Birthday

------

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EDWARD AND BELLA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

I shifted around on Edward's white lounger, his black and white blanket sprawled across my body. He was passed out in his bed, a tuft of his bronze hair peeking out from the thick white sheets

My eyes opened slowly to reveal my parents, holding two cupcakes. My dad was holding one for me, and my mother had one for Edward. They were both chocolate, with chocolate frosting and colorful sprinkles. There was a small blue and white candle, the flame blazing.

Esme and Carlisle were not around but I didn't bother to question it.

" Make a wish!" Renee said.

_I wish that Tanya will be out of the picture before Highschool ends._

It was a typical wish, but a wish I wanted to come true. But who in the hell was I kidding. Wishes rarely come true. In Edward's bed I saw him blow out his candle before snatching up the cupcake and shoving it into his mouth.

I grabbed mine and ate it quickly before laying back down.

" Come on, you've got school today and then you have gifts and another cake later."

" Please skip school?" I heard Edward beg.

" Your mother warned me about this. No."

He groaned " Please! We've been going to school on our Birthdays every year, besides when it's on a weekend. Just this once!" He pleaded.

Renee smacked his bottom " Get up you lazy bum,"

" You did not just smack my ass."

" I just did."

-----

I was definately not looking forward to school. Alot of people knew that it was Edward's Birthday, but they also knew that mine landed on the same day. Alice would probably make a huge deal about it, per Alice usual.

My mother insisted on me dressing nice for today at school. Later we had reservations at ' The Village' which is a formal dining restaurant that serves Italian Cuisine, which is Edward and I's favorite kind of food. Mushroom Ravioli is the best, though I love a traditional Curry Pasta that is quite known in England.

" Mom, I promise I will change my clothes when it's time to leave for dinner."

She huffed in response and walked out of my bedroom.

I had taken a shower already, but my mother had burst in here as I was in a towel, demanding I dress nice. I went through my closet, picking out a pair of light wash jeans that had already made holes and snags in it. I slipped on a t-shirt and covered it with a pull over sweat shirt from Aeropostale. When I tied up my converse I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I let my hair down to do as it wished and grabbed my bag.

My mother made a small meal, which I ate and thanked her for. When I finished I washed my dishes and was out the door. Edward was waiting for me, an aggrivating look on his face.

" Sad that you have to share a Birthday with me?"

He chuckled " No. I'd just rather stay home and sleep."

I nodded in agreement and walked towards his Volvo. He unlocked the doors and I slid it quickly. The purr of the engine sounded after he got into the car. He shifted into rear and backed out of his driveway.

----

Upon arriving at school I was attacked by an overly excited Alice when I stepped out of the car. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and kissed my cheek.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She yelled, loud enough for everyone to hear.

I shushed her and pulled away as she handed me a silver box.

" Present now or later?" she asked..

" I didn't want any gifts." I grumbled.

She laughed " I guess that means later."

Jasper grabbed her tiny hand in his and pulled her away, basically dragging her into the school. My laugh followed Edward's as we followed them into the school. When I got to my locker I saw Emmett sneak up behind Edward. He wrapped his burly arms around Edward's skinny form and lifted him off the ground, surprising Edward.

" Seventeen ehh? Happy Birthday, my british buddy." Emmett boomed.

" Oh my god. Put me the hell down, Emmett!" Edward shouted.

Emmett dropped him, letting Edward land unsteady on the ground and run into the lockers.

" Whoa there. Don't want you to get hurt." Emmett said, grabbing Edward's arm and yanking him back.

Edward glared at him before fixing his shirt " I'm not a doll." he stated.

I laughed and closed my locker after grabbing my books. Rose was waiting with open arms and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back genuinely, glad that she wasn't screaming that it was my Birthday.

" Happy Birthday, Izzy." she said, pulling away and handing me a gift.

" Later okay?" I asked.

She nodded and slipped the small box back into her bag. Emmett crushed me to him for a few minutes before I choked out that I had class. Reluctently he let me go and I walked down the hall next to Edward.

As we were a few doors from class Tanya appeared, out of absolutely nowhere, and stopped infront of Edward. She clasped her hands around his neck and placed a sloppy kiss on his lips, giving him what I think was supposed to be a seductive smile.

"I've got a gift later for you tonight. Come over around nine." she murmured.

" Um, sure. Sounds fine."

I skipped into the classroom and took my seat as Mr. Brooks started his lesson. Edward darted into the room, taking his seat quickly before writing down notes on today's lesson.

----

Finally when school was over I was able to get out of here and go home. Edward parked his car and I got out and walked to my house. My parents car's were both in the driveway, next to my black, shiny pick-up truck.

I got into the house and trudged my way upstairs to my bedroom.

When I walked into my bedroom, laying on my bed was a sage green and black dress. There was a thin black ribbon at the waist and it had a scoop neck and straps that were about an inch and a half thick. The dress looked flowy and there was a black cardigan next to it, along with a pair of Mary Jane pumps that were black.

" You like it?" I heard a voice behind me speak.

I spun around and wrapped my arms around my mom " Thank you so much. It's beautiful."

" Now dress, are reservation is for five, it's already three thirty!" she exclaimeed, shutting the door. I locked it and stripped out of my clothes. Glad that I was already showered I slipped on the dress and zipped it in the back. It fell just below my knee's and was very light and flowy. The material felt like satin against my skin.

I got into my bathroom and started up the curling iron, while it heated up I started on my make-up, making my eyes smokey as Alice called it. I swiped on mascara, liquid eye liner and then started with my hair.

I curled it in sections, pining up peices that were already done. Since my hair was long it got in the way sometimes so it was easier to pin up peices that were done to see the straighter peices.

Once my hair was all curled I sprayed a little hairspray in, enough for it to hold, but not enough for it to harden. I brushed my teeth and applied lip gloss before walking back out to my bedroom. It was already four fifteen and we were leaving and four thirty. I spritzed on some perfume and slipped on the cardigan. I smoothed lotion over my legs, giving them a subtle glow.

I grabbed my heels and ran downstairs to the living room. I strapped them on and stood, luckily they were only about three inch heels, not the four or five inch that Alice always tried to squeeze me into.

When I got into the kitchen I saw my father wearing a nice suit and my mother a pair of pin stripped grey slacks and a red blouse. She smiled when she saw my appearence.

" You look beautiful, sweetheart." she said sincerely, giving me a hug and leading me outside.

We walked over to the Cullens mansion. Carlisle was waiting on the porch, wearing a nice pair of black slacks and a blue button up that was tucked in, he matched it with a black suit jacket. Next to him Esme was wearing a tweed skirt and shoes to match, her blouse was purple and it was slightly ruffled in the front.

The one I was staring at, was the one who was tapping his shoe and running his hands through his hair. Edward was wearing black slacks, like Carlisle, but he had on a dark green button up, similar to the color of my dress, and it was tucked in. He wore a skinny black tie, and that was it.

His hair was in it's normal, sexy, dissaray, making me want to run my hands throught it. He looked perfectly relaxed and at ease.

When I got up to the porch Carlisle immediatly enveloped me in a hug. I hugged him back.

" Happy Birthday, sweetie."

Esme dragged me in next, wrapping her arms around my neck. " Happy Birthday, Bella."

I hugged her tightly before she released me. Edward looked over at me, his eyes trailing over my dress before looking at himself.

" They purposely matched us."

My mother laughed " We always did when you were babies. Same color scheme."

I rolled my eyes and skipped down the steps. We took seperate cars to drive to the resturaunt downtown. We were only fifteen or so miles away from the resturaunt. Carlisle and Esme beat us there with Carlisle's fast driving. That's where Edward learned to drive like a maniac.

Edward, being the gentlemen he is, opened my door and held out his hand. I took it quickly, feeling my arm being lit on fire from the sparks, and stood up steadily. When I was about to pull away he wrapped his hand around mine and walked towards the restaurant.

" Why are you holding my hand?" I asked.

" Am I not allowed?"

I shrugged and he opened the door, leading us through.

Esme POV

As I saw my son link his hand through Isabella's, I felt my heart swell for them, mostly for little Isabella.

She had grown so much, and with her growing, I knew she felt more then friendship towards my son. The way she looked at him was with pure love and adoration, I could only imagine the strong feeling of sadness when he didn't look at her the same way.

I started to notice her feelings when she was at the tender age of fourteen. It started with small things.

She would stare at him longer then just a glance. Isabella would hang on a little tighter and longer for only a friendly hug. Then she would blush deep red when anybody joked about them being together.

Edward had told me that Isabella was his first kiss when he was thirteen. That was probably when the feeling ignited. My son was a very handsome and smart man and I knew that nobody deserved him more then Isabella. They were just adorable together, now and as children.

To this day she still staring at him, but now there was love in her eyes and it even hurted me to see him so blind. I felt awful for her because now her feelings were deepened, and Edward may be smart. But he is damn clueless.

He had gotten a girlfriend, known as Tanya, and she was sometimes nice, but when I looked at her... She wasn't the one her deserved my Edward. He deserved someone that deserved him. I knew that there would be nobody else that would love him like Isabela does does.

Carlisle kissed my lips swiftly and held my hand.

" She loves him, Carlisle. I can see it." I whispered.

He ran his knuckles along my cheekbone, " I know, my love."

BPOV

We gave the lady the last name that was in the reservation, it was under ' Cullen' because Esme had made the reservation. We were led to a table with six chairs and were seated with menu's. Our drink orders were taken and we were left to look over the menu.

There was no need for me to look over the menu, I already knew what I wanted to order. That would be the famous Mushroom Ravioli, also known as the best dish on the planet Earth. Edward said he was leaning towards the Pasta Primavera, which was a pasta with a variety of vegetables mixed into it with a thick tomato sauce.

The waitress came back with our drinks and asked us is we were ready to order.

" The tortellini with white sauce, not red, please." Esme answered.

" Lasagna," my father replied.

The waitress jotted it all down and turned to Carlisle.

" I would like the Chicken Parmesan." he told her.

She smiled before looking at my mother.

"I would also like the Chicken Parmesan."

Edward went next " Pasta Primavera, no peas."

" Mushroom Ravioli."

She finished off the order and came back with drink refills. Edward leaned against the table towards Esme, a childish smile playing on his face.

" So, what did you get me?" he asked exictedly.

I bit my lip to prevent the bubble of laughter that wanted to escape my mouth.

Esme held Carlisle's hand over the table " Nothing. Maybe a few CD's, that's about it."

Edward leaned back in his chair and huffed, arms over his chest.

Once dinner was served the table was quiet, and there was only the noise of forks and knife's clinking against the glass plates. When I bit into my ravioli I moaned out loud at the taste. Everyone looked up at me and Edward looked like he wanted to laugh at me.

" What?" I asked quietly.

They just went back to eating. I finished my meal, polishing off the whole plate until it was once again white. The waitress took my plate from me and re-filled my glass of water. The rest of them finished their meals and they asked for the check. They split it in half and we headed back to Edward's

My mother raced in quickly, probably getting the cake and lighting the candles. They stalled us outside for ten minutes before we were able to walk in. The house was dark as we let eachother lead us to the kitchen.

On the glass table, was a cake, it had royal blue icing and light blue icing decorating the bottom and lining on the top. In a chocolate brown it read, ' _Happy Birthday Isabella and Edward ' _I smiled and took my seat next to Edward.

They sang the traditional Birthday song for the second time today, only his parents included and we blew out the candles, getting a second wish.

My wishes were about what I wanted, it was my Birthday and I was going to be selfish. We ate our cake together before Edward was basically on his knee's begging for his gifts. Esme brought them out with Carlisle. My gift was apparently at home, but was too heavy to carry.

Edward ripped open the first gift, which was an envelope. I knew what his gift was, I had bought things to go with it and our parents paid for the big gift.

He took out a sheet of paper and immediatly dropped it after picking it up.

" Your kidding me right?" he asked.

Carlisle shook his head " Go outside."

Edward shot up from his seat like a bullet and made a mad dash outside. On the driveway, sat a Sportster Motorcycle 883 low in scarlett red with black accents. His mouth dropped to the floor and I smiled at his reaction.

"Holy shit. Oh my god."

" This is from Renee and Charlie, too. You obviously know that your going to be going for riding lessons, but we want you to take care of this Edward. It's not some cheap motorcycle."

Edward picked Esme off her feet and twirled her around " Thank you. Thank you. I promise to love you forever."

After letting Esme down he squeezed Carlisle to death before hugging my mom tightly and my father, who looked a little pale from Edward hugging him so hard. When he picked me up I screaming in surprise.

" You didn't even open my gifts." I stated.

He kissed my cheek " I know, but I was on a roll here."

Minutes later he still hadn't let me go, he was basically carrying me around everywhere like a little doll.

" Um, Edward. You can, uh, let go now." I said.

He set me on the ground and went to straddle his motorcycle. Oh the sight of that made me want to-

" Don't mess with it, Edward."

Edward huffed before getting off of it " Fine, I guess I'll go open other presents."

I rolled my eyes as he ran back into the house, excited to see the rest of his gifts.

**Authors Note- The rest of the night will be finished next chapter. Link for the Motorcycle is in my profile at the bottom under '**_**Ambivalence Links'. **_**The Motorcycle is a 2010, but I didn't want a 2006 motorcycle...No offence to any that own one.**_** Eternally Addicted found the motorcycle, and the future gifts from Bella to Edward, but I can't tell you just yet. Until next Friday.**_


	8. Minus A Fantasy

**Authors Note- READ END NOTES FOR SOMETHING FOR A VERY IMPORTANT...AND RARE EVENT!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Chapter 7 Song- Stay by: SafetySuit**

BPOV

Edward was very excited to see the rest of the gear to go with the motorcycle. I had gotten him leather gloves, a helmet, insanely cool boots and a four hundred and sixty five dollar leather jacket. All together everything was really expensive, but it was worth it to see the expression on his face.

He squeezed me to death and then basically dragged me over to my house to open my gifts. I walked barefoot back to the house, my feet wanting to feel free from the heels. When we got to my house I went into our quaint kitchen and saw a huge box on the floor, along with a few other gifts that were smaller and placed on the table with care.

I sat down in a chair and was handed the first gift. I opened a few from my parents and Esme, there were movies, CD's, iTunes cards and other randoms, they seemed to be saving an envelope for last.

Edward dragged his present closer to me. It was big and looked heavy. I ripped the bright blue wrapping paper off and revealed the mystery box.

" No way. Seriously?"

He smiled " Well you have many CD's and boom box is totally 70's, no offence, but I wanted to get you something nice."

On the box had a picture of it, it shown that there were many functions on it, the thing was huge and it would take me some practice with it, but I was thankful for such a great gift. I stood and wrapped my arms around his waist. He hugged me back tightly and kissed the top of my head.

" You didn't have to, but thank you so much." I mumbled against his chest.

I pulled away just as I was handed an envelope by my father. I ripped it open and pulled out two rectangular peices of paper. I read them over and saw that they were tickets to see Muse on their concert tour in All State Arena downtown summer of '06.

" Are you serious?!" I screeched.

" We got two because I don't want you going alone, and I know that Edward will want to go." My mother said.

I squeezed her and my father in a tight hug and thanked them profusely for their gifts.

" It was no problem, honey."

I gave both Carlisle and Esme a hug, thanking them for my gifts. They headed home soon after and Edward and I dragged the huge ass stereo upstairs. We set it under my shelves and plugged it in. We messed around with it for awhile until I started to feel sleepy. He also had to go meet Tanya tonight.

Edward stood up and I walked downstairs with him. He gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.

" Thank you so much for all the gifts."

" Thank you, too. I will never be able to repay you for that one."

He chuckled " You did with all that shit you got me... Well I got to head over to Tanya's but I will see you at school tomorrow."

I nodded and he walked outside into the chilled night air. I closed the door and locked the dead bolt before going back upstairs. When I took off my dress and cardigan I put it on a hanger and set it in the closet. I changed into a pair of shorts and a long baggy shirt that had our highschool logo printed on it.

My parents came in and wished me a goodnight and I thanked them once again for the gifts. When they left I turned off my light and crawled into my bed.

_Dream_

_I was awoken by a sudden noise. I lifted my body up the slightest and saw a familar form standing at the corner of my purple bed. He stayed perfectly still, his green eyes staring deeply into my brown ones, as if he could see my soul and I his._

_With courage I threw my blankets off me and went into a kneel at the end of the bed. I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him to me. He lowered me to the bed, but kept a hand on the mattress so he wouldn't crush me with his body._

_His lips pressed against mine in a fiery passion and his hand went to my thigh, gripping it tightly. I kept one hand in his unkempt bronze hair and the other around his body. His tongue nipped at my bottom lip and my lips parted. Edward's tongue sought out and battled mine._

_Momentarily he pulled away and tossed off my shirt. I pulled him back to me and kissed him deeply._

_I moaned against his lips when his other hand ran from my neck, to my hips. I pressed up against him, trying to get closer when I heard a loud, annoying ringing noise._

_He stopped and I groaned from the loss. Slowly, he started to dissapear, his body fading._

_" Don't go." I whispered._

_End Dream_

I was broken out of my dream by my cell-phone. I wanted to scream at it and blame it for ruining my developing dream. The red numbers on the clock beamed two fifty one. I grabbed my cell phone and saw it was Edward's name on the caller ID

He wouldn't call at this time unless it was important. I accepted the call and brought it to my ear.

" Hey, what's going on?" I rasped sleepily

" Can I come over. I know it's late but I really need someone to talk to." he sounded very panicked and it worried me.

" You might have to climb the tree. You know Renee." I said, mentioning the fact that she was a light sleeper.

" Okay. I'll be there in a few."

I unlocked my window and turned on my orange bubble hanging lamp. I ran my hands over my eyes, digging my palms into my eyes, trying to wake myself up a bit more.

He sounded panicked and he was probably coming from Tanya's. It was possible that she may have worked him up over something but it sounded a little intense. Just as a yawn escaped from my mouth I heard the window slide open.

Edward slide through easily and quietly shut the door. His hair was a mess, signalling that he had been running his hands through it. I patted the end of the bed and he ignored the gesture, pacing around the room.

" Edward, what happened?" I asked quietly.

" I did something, probably shouldn't of done it. But now I am panicked and... oh god."

He sat down on my bed, his leg shaking and bouncing on the floor. I crawled over by him and rested my hand on his.

" Talk okay." I said.

His head turned to the sky " I went over to Tanya's and apparently her parents weren't home. She wanted us to... you know. I told her that I didn't think we were ready and she said that we've been dating for almost a year now and she didn't want to wait any longer. It was many things, but mostly awkward and uncomfortable and I... fuck, Iz, I wasn't ready. Just because I turn seventeen doesn't mean that I automatically am. Plus the whole, no sex before marriage, and I was totally great with that... But I- She was upset when I left and no doubt pissed by now."

I tried not to show the hurt on my face, but the crack in my heart was present. I stared down at my hands.

" Say something." he said.

" What do you want me to say, Edward. I wish you didn't? I really do. But you made the choice, and if you weren't ready then why did you go with it?"

" I didn't want her to break up with me." he replied

" Not to insult you, but that's a stupid reason. If she is pressuring you then that's not right."

He held his head down " Your right, your always right. I just needed someone, and I knew that I could talk to you."

I leaned back and held my arms open. Edward put his arms tightly around me and hugged me close, resting his head on the side of my neck.

" It's fine, Edward. I just want you to be okay."

_The second part is true._

This day felt like so much so fast. My heart felt like it was slowly cracking open at the fact that he had sex with her. Edward gave up his virginity up to a girl that had been with so many other guys. He didn't deserve that, he deserved better.

" I am such an idiot." he said, abruptly sitting up " I come here and tell you that I just... Bella, I am so sorry. I feel like such an ass. I take advantage of your kindness and understanding."

" Your my best friend, it's okay."

I laid down in my bed, yawning and closing my eyes.

" I feel like a even bigger asshole for waking you up, especially when we have school."

With a groan I opened one eye " Just go home and get some sleep, okay?" I said.

He smiled. I leaned towards him " You don't want to sleep here. I might molest you." I whispered

Edwad threw his head back and laughed loudly. I pulled away with a smile and stared up at him under my lashes

" Thanks for that, I needed a laugh... Thanks calming me down, too, Iz. I'll come by in the morning to pick you up."

His strong arms wrapped around my slim waist " Your such a sweetheart." he whispered, kissing my cheek.

" Thank you," I said in response, pulling away from him.

---

I awoke in the morning from another explicit dream starring Edward. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and sat out of bed. The clock read six fifty. I went into a section of my room by my front window, overlooking the driveway. I sank down into a chair and opened the window, feeling the cool breeze against my heated skin.

With a sigh I rested my head on the wooden frame and inhaled the air.

My head was running a mile a minute. I was so upset that Edward had done what he did. I could not longer dream that we would be eachothers first. Now I had no desire to even think about it. He said it was awkward, and I guess that's one good thing. It's not like I would want him raving about how much he enjoyed it. That would be even worse.

I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

The wish I had brought upon myself was for Tanya to be gone before highschool was over, but who was I kidding. After getting a few rounds, Edward he wouldn't care about how awkward it was the first time. She was probably going to convince him. It was easy to sway him the first time how would the second or third be different.

I felt the tears well up and let them fall this time. When I heard my bedroom door open, I wiped them quickly.

" What are you doing over here?" he murmured.

" Um, nothing,"

He gave me a pointed look " You suck at lying. What where you thinking about?"

I looked down at my hands, my eyes slightly narrowed and my mouth open. I stood up from my spot and walked back towards my bedroom.

" Nothing... Nothing that's important."

" Everything you say is important."

I shook my head "I can't... Nothing, okay. I just need some water."

I walked out of my bedroom and jogged downstairs. I couldn't even look at him now. All I saw was someone that Tanya Denali marked. I took a deep breath and poured a glass of water. I drained it slowly before putting it in the sink.

I had no desire in my body to go back upstairs, but I had to. I trudged up the stairs and re-opened my bedroom door. Edward was sitting on the end of my bed, fiddling with his phone. When he heard me he looked up

" Why don't you talk to me. I asked you what was going on a few weeks ago and you said you couldn't tell me. We can always tell eachother things and I don't know why your holding back.."

"I have to get in the shower." I mumbled.

" Damn it, Bella. Don't make excuses." he exclaimed, glaring down at me.

I sat up, staring his straight in the eye " Well maybe you should just go to your girlfriends house. I bet she is better company then I am." I sneered, not thinking about what I said before saying it.

" Seriously. Your upset because I had sex with her. I thought you didn't care."

" People lie, Edward. You just don't think I'm very good at it." I stated, heading for my bathroom.

He suddenly grabbed my shirt from behind me, and yanked me back. He put his hands on my shoulders, staring at me once again. His piercing green eyes were staring right into my brown ones. I tried to avoice his gaze, but his hand moved to hold my chin straight ahead.

" Don't fucking do this to me, Isabella. You were great yesterday, now your acting like a raging bitch. I didn't do anything personally to you. Why is it so bother to you that I had sex? I know I came over panicked but-"

" A raging bitch? That's what you think I am. Well it's not my fault that...that."

_-that your girlfriend is the one who is the raging bitch._

The sentence was finished in my head. There was no way I was telling him about how Tanya treats me. No fucking way. It would risk to much. There could be one horrible scenario, and that would be him thinking I was just making it up.

I didn't have the confidence at this moment to believe that he would think I was telling the truth. I could never put our friendship at risk just because Tanya doesn't treat me as nicely as everyone things she does.

" What, Bella! Tell me, please."

" I-I can't. No. Please don't ask me to tell you because I can't." I murmured.

" Please, I need you to talk to me."

I ducked my head and shook my head " No."

" It makes me feel horrible that you can't talk to me."

I hung my head down.

" Just go home."

I felt his lips press against my temple before he slipped out of my bedroom. Moments later I started up the shower. I sat on the ground of the bath tub, letting the sobs wrack my body.

---

Once I was all cleaned up in the shower, I stepped out and brushed my teeth, along with washing my face.

I dressed in a dark purple tanktop and a black vest. This was one of the many outfits Alice had shown me to put together. I went through my drawers and found a pair of medium wash shorts, I slipped them on, then my black wedges. It was a warm day so I would take advantage of it.

Once finished dressing I went back into my bathroom to do my makeup. I swept on some mascara, smeared on cherry chapstick and grabbed a pony tail to throw my hair up. I straightened my bangs and swept them to the side

I swept up my school bag and jogged downstairs to the kitchen, where blueberry muffins were set on a plate. My stomach was a little gurgly today so I didn't feel like eating a meal.

" I'm not really hungry today. I'm just going to head over to the Cullens and wait for Edward."

" Okay, sweetie."

I trudged over to the mansion and let myself in. When I reached the kitchen where both Esme and Carlisle were drinking coffee. Edward was scarfing down a bowl of cereal like a starving person.

" Bella, what are you doing here? Everything okay, sweetheart?" Esme asked.

" Um, yeah. I just wasn't hungry so I figured that I would head over to wait for, Edward. I'm not a bother am I?"

" Of course not." Carlisle interjected.

Edward finished his breakfast cereal quietly before grabbing his keys to the Volvo. I followed him outside and slipped into his car. The whole ride to school he was quiet, as he was when we reached our lockers at school. Tanya was all was draped over him, whispering things in his ear and gripping his arms.

AP Algebra went by. Edward ignored me and scribbled furiously on his notebook as Mr. Brooks gave the lesson. I tried to stop looking at him, but I still glanced at him everyonce in awhile. When the bell rang he was out of his chair like a bullet.

In Biology, it went the same.

My last class came, which was gym. I unfortunetly had that class with Tanya. She was sitting on the bleachers, her friend Carmen next to her. It wasn't until she decided to open her mouth that I cared about her presence.

" It was amazing last night, Carmy. He was perfect and so eager, knew all the right moves, and he was a virgin! I really don't care about that though, I'm just glad that he didn't have sex with Isabella Swan. I really don't see why he still hangs out with that peice of trash, she's not even that pretty. He had to leave early though because his parents would of noticed he was past curfew. Anyways, it was still great. He's like the hottest guy, and quarterback, in school and I am the head cheerleader. It's so perfect and I so deserve him." she squealed.

Awakard? What a fucking, lying bastard. He could play it real well.

----

When school was over and Edward drove me back I was fuming. I said not a word, but let him know I was when I slammed the Volvo door. I slammed it so hard that the car basically shook. When I looked at my driveway I saw Alice and Rose holding packages, no doubt my presents.

" Hey! We wanted to give you your gifts before we left for the mall. You can tag along if y-"

" Um, no thanks. Next time though, it's been a long day"

Alice rolled her eyes and handed me a silver box " This is from Jazz and I."

I ripped open the paper and immediatly knew what they were. Alice opened the flap on the box and I saw a beautiful pair of black pointed toe heels.

" These are so cute, Al!" I exclaimed, picking them up.

" Yay! There only three inchs so you won't break your ankle. I hoped that you would like them!"

I slipped off my wedges and put them on. They were pretty hot shoes if I do say so myself. I grabbed Alice in a tight hug and she handed me another box. Under the thick, silver wrapping paper was a clothing box. I took off the cap and saw a gorgeous blue off the shoulder top, there were short sleeves on them. It was a dark blue, light blue and had a white small floral pattern. Also inside was a pair of dark wash skinny jeans.

" Aw, this is so cute, Alice."

She smiled " I know."

" My turn!" Rose chimed.

I smiled and she handed me a small box with blue sparkling wrapping paper. I slowly ripped it open and saw a blue box. Slowly I opened the top and saw a sterling silver charm bracelet, there was a charm on it that was shaped like a heart, engraved into it was 'Best Friend's -Rose'. I hugged her tightly and smiled.

" It's so pretty. You didn't have to but thank you. Help me clasp it on."

I held out my wrist and she clasped it. I gave them both another hug before they said they were heading to the mall. I thanked them again and walked into the house. I didn't have work until tomorrow so I had time to do homework.

My parents weren't home, working like they normally did at this time. My mother normally came home around five, and she would make dinner with me. If she was late then I would make dinner for my dad.

Suddenly I heard my cell-phone chime.

" Can I help you?" I asked.

" One minute you look depressed and the next your fucking pissed at me. Can you just come out to the back and talk to me and tell me what I did?"

I turned off my phone and jumped off my bed. I slipped out of backdoor and saw him in his yard, on the glider. At that moment, he was right. I kind of was acting like a raging bitch. But he lied to me. Something that he never did.

He was holding a can of Coke and taking periodic sips from the can. When he heard my heels clicking against the cement platform he looked up at me. I leaned against the wooden table across from where he was seated.

" So, want to talk now?" he asked.

" In the middle of the night you called me and came over saying you had sex with Tanya. You said that it was awkward and you were uncomfortable. Making it sound like you were pressued. Then I get to gym class today. Tanya was raving to Carmen about how you were so 'perfect' and 'eager', that you knew all the right 'moves'." I spat with venom, walking along the pavement.

" What do I believe? Huh? Tell me because right now, I am confused and... beyond myself in anger."

He leaned back in his seat and took a breath.

" That's what I thought." I said, making my way back to my house.

" Bella! Will you calm the fuck down. It was fucking awkward, she was all over me and I was just freaked out. She knew what she was doing and I didn't. I don't know why, but she is making it better then it really was. In my eyes, it was a nightmare. I won't even call it sex when I never-"

" OKAY! I don't want to hear about that! Thats just... your buisness. That is not something I ever want to hear about." I stated sternly.

" Whatever, okay... Look, I just want us to get along. Ever since the school year we've been getting into stupid fights."

_...and they all have to do with Tanya._

I rolled my eyes " As of right now, I don't care."

He rolled his eyes back at me and dug into his pocket, producing a cigarette.

" Put that the hell down."

Instead he lit it and took a long drag, then handed it to me. He forced it into my hand and I held it awkwardly.

" Come on, Isabella. You can't tell me your not at all interested."

I wrapped my lips around it and breathed it in. Almost immediatly I pulled back in a fight of coughs when I inhaled it. Edward patted my back until I stopped.

" Well, that wasn't a good idea. Wouldn't want to taint your lungs anyways." he said with a chuckle.

I glared at him and sat on the glider.

" Why do you smoke... I mean you have your first game Friday. Don't you want to be as strong as possible? How do you get them anyways."

"Tyler." He shrugged and put out his cancer stick then scooted close to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head against his chest and his hand rubbed up and down my arm.

" Do you want to talk about this morning?"

" No, thank you."

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

" When you want to talk, I will always be here to listen."

_You say that now._

**Authors Note- Okay, so I have a challenge for you all!**

********************************************READ!*********************************************

**My Birthday is coming up, and it's in this month, March. So I want to challenge you all, read very closely!**

**I want everyone to guess my Birthday. If more then one person guesses the right date, then I will pick the first person who guessed it. If nobody gets it on dot, but close, then they will get it. It will be a fair challenge. **

**So you are probably wondering..What will I get?!**

**You will get a teaser from a chapter, and it doesn't have to be next chapter. I have chapters all the way up to 23 already written out, (Freak out and ask why I only post on Fridays when I have that many), I will let you pick from 7-22, and which every number you pick between those, I will pick a teaser to give you, aslong as you don't give anything away to anyone. I will Private Message you, asking for the number and it will be there ASAP.**

**Up for the challenge?**

**Game on and review!**


	9. Game Night

**Authors Note- Well, the official winner was; Kaycee5658, so congratulations to her. Maybe I will do this some other time with regular numbers, asking which one I am thinking about between 1-100, I bet ya'll would love that. **

**Did you guys see the Eclipse trailer?! I was about to flip my lid and scream like a school girl! I saw it yesterday, then today at the theater.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight**

BPOV

September had passed quickly, and before I knew it, Autumn was now here, as was Halloween. The air was chilled and warm days were completely gone. I missed the heat, the sun, but I loved Chicago and seasons change it's part of mother nature. My least favorite season was winter. I was very uncoordinated on snow. Ice was even worse then that.

At the age of six Edward and I had been having a snowball fight in his front yard. I ran across the driveway and slipped backwards on the hard ice. I fell forward and tried to catch myself with my arm, breaking it in the process. That was not the best day of my life, but not exactly the worst.

I knew that Edward wasn't partial to Winter, for Autumn was his favorite season of the four. The tree's turned bright orange's, yellows and red and the ground is covered in leaves. When Esme used to rake the leaves from the ground, Edward and I used to jump into the mounds and throw them around, creating a big mess all over again. But she never minded.

Edward started taking his Motorcycling lessons, and was improving rather well from what I have heard from him. He'd been taking them since Thursday, September 15th. He goes every Thursday and Sunday. He has taken thirteen classes so far and only needs to take two more, then a test, to get his motorcycle license.

He's been playing games at the school consistantly on Friday's. This year they were doing really good. I had gone to a few games that the school played in. But I didn't attend most. I didn't enjoy seeing Edward run off the field after a good game to kiss Tanya.

Today it's Thursday, the twenty seventh. Edward was taking his thirteenth lesson today and I sat in my bedroom, studying for a Math test that was taking place tomorrow. I really didn't need to study, considering I knew exactly what we were doing, but it was never a bad thing just try perfect everything and make sure I knew everything.

School had been going quite well. Report cards would be coming at the end of the semester during Christmas break. Which was awhile from now but I was in no hurry for winter to come. November was going to be starting soon.

Edward was dwelling on the fact that he couldn't ride in the winter or spring. He could ride on the occasional spring day. But in Chicago, we got alot of rain in the spring. Lots of thunderstorms, which were my ultimate fear when lightening struck the sky. I don't like anything that lights up the sky brightly besides the moon, sun and stars.

My window was slight cracked and a light breeze blew threw my room. I could catch the scent of burning leaves, that was, oddly, my favorite scent. Besides Edward's musk and cinnamon scent. I grinned at the thought of him...

He hadn't talked to Tanya about her lying about them being together and it being perfect. He said it would only start a stupid fight that was unnecessary. Edward also said that he didn't want Tanya to feel bad about the situation. I hardly believed she would feel bad, she would probably just persuade him to do it again and promise to make it be better for him. Just the thought made me cringe.

He had been a little down over what she had said, but I tried my hardest to make his day brighter, to just make his smile light up everything like it should. She had broughten him down a bit, and it was going to be my job to make him smile.

Lately he has been spending more time with her. He was an hour late to the football game because he had lost track of time while with Tanya. He hadn't come over as often during the week as normal. But I had to get over the fact that she was his girlfriend. It was my main life obstacle, but something would work out for me eventually. There would be a purpose to all this.

The feeling of sadness that he was dating her, when I had a huge crush on him, was really starting to weight on my shoulders though, but I couldn't dwell on it now. Right now I needed to deal with getting through highschool. I couldn't let my feelings dominate my whole entire life. I would miss out on alot of I let it.

" Knock, knock!"

My head snapped up to meet bright green eyes. He openly walked into my bedroom, wearing that fuckhot leather jacket, I swear he looked lickable. Edward plopped right down on my bed as I closed my binder. He laid back with a long sigh and a groan. I noticed him holding a glade container and a fork.

" So hungry, so tired."

" Haven't seen you in awhile, stranger. Why don't you go home and eat." I chuckled

" I see you in the morning's. And Renee made some of her famous chicken stir-fry." he boasted, opening the container.

Steam wafted through the air, along with the aroma of vegetables and chicken. He dug his fork blindly into the container and brought it to his lips.

" When you choke from laying on your back eating, I will laugh."

As a joke he brought his hands around his neck, pretending he was choking " CPR...Call 911." he faked.

I shoved him jokingly and sat up, setting my binder on my desk where my laptop laid. I sat back on the bed, reading a book, as Edward continued to devour the chicken. When he finished he threw it on my table next to my lamp and patted his stomach.

" Your such a fatty." I teased, shoving his side.

He chuckled " Bella, I workout every Saturday, Wednesday and Monday, and I can bench one hundred and seventy five. I've got a six pack, not a fat pouch."

" Show off."

He grabbed my arm " You are a little stick, maybe you should get up your strength or you'll be a fatty. I mean you devoured that Birthday cake in like a day."

"Shut the hell up. It's not nice to tell a girl that she eats too much, let alone the fact she'll get fat."

" Well, your Bella. You don't care about that stuff."

I stared at him.

_Was he serious?_

" Every girls cares about her weight. If I didn't watch my food I would blow up!"

" Rawr, sorry." he apologized, waving his hand like a claw.

" Only gay guys do that." I stated.

He shrugged " I am definately not gay."

" Whatever you say. Oh the Bears are going against the Cardinals on Sunday at six. I figured we could go to the grocery store to pick up some stuff at five."

" Oh... I actually can't, the class it being moved to four, but I will make it to over at around five fourty five."

Dissapointment flooded my body " Okay. That's fine I'll just get the stuff myself. Well I've actually got to get some studying done for the test tomorrow. So..."

He frowned and stood up from my bed " You're upset now. I'm sorry, Iz B. I just want to get the classes and the test done just so I can start riding. I know I only really see you in the mornings now, and I was late for the game last Sunday because I was with Tanya."

" It's fine really. She's your girlfriend, so you want to be with her. I'm not going to hold you back from that." I murmured.

" Bella you've never held me back from anything."

" Well I'll leave you to studying. Don't study too hard."

He kissed my forehead before leaving my bedroom.

I would forever be the girl who was in love with her best friend, when he has the perfect girlfriend.

---

" Welcome to Chicago Dough, what can I get you today?" I asked, a smile plastered on my face.

" Six peices of cheese pizza, and an order of breadsticks." A teenager requested, taking out his wallet

" To let you know if you get a medium sized pizza, you can have a choice of breadsticks, cheese sticks or any desert for free."

He smiled " Price difference on six peices and a medium?" he asked.

" Only two dollars and fifty cents." I beamed.

" Alright, well then I will get a medium cheese pizza and breadsticks."

I rang him up and gave the chef the order. Within fifteen minutes it was finished. Normally we would keep pepperoni and cheese pizza's going all day because they were quite popular here. It was set in a box and I got the breadsticks and delivered it to the table. I was surprised when I saw James sitting at the table with his buddies.

" Bella! Hey. Haven't seen you since the party. Where have you been, Girly?"

_Girly?! Is he on crack?_

" Um...yeah. Nice to see you?" it was more like a question when it came out.

He was about to open his mouth but I interrupted him.

" I'd better get to work." I said, scampering away.

" Rejected!" shouted his friends.

Finally I got behind the counter and finished my 8:00am to 4:45pm shift. I had to stop at the grocery store, which I figured I would go to straight after work. I stripped off my red apron after my shift and hung it up in my locker. I grabbed my keys, along with my wallet and left, saying a goodbye to my manager.

The grocery store was ten minutes away from my work, and five minutes from my house by car. When I pulled into the parking lot it was very busy. I finally found a parking spot, all the way in the back and trudged into the store.

I was still wearing my work uniform. Which was a pair of black dress pants, my black converse and a red polo that had the Chicago Dough logo and signature on the breast pocket. My nametag was on the opposite side of the pocket.

Basket in hand, I went into the icecream aisle, quickly finding the Ben and Jerry's. When I saw the Pumpkin Cheesecake Icecream, I literally squealed. This one was both Edward and I's favorite, but it was only out from October and November.

I grabbed two of them quickly, and went straight over to the drink aisle. I grabbed a six pack of Coca-Cola, which was in the glass bottles. After scrounging up two bags of sour cream and cheddar potato crisps I went to check-out.

Every single check-out line had four or five people. I groaned and checked my watch. Five thirty.

" Shit," I muttered.

Twenty minutes later I was next in line to check out my things. I was bouncing in my spot, walking to just run so I wouldn't be late. I was upset at Edward for being late, yet this time, I was the one who was late.

Finally I spread my stuff on the conveyor belt. The girl was a teenager, and she was smacking her gum so loudly, I knew it was Lauren Mallory. She always chewed bubble gum, she smelt like it and I wouldn't be surprised if she bathed in it.

I had two minutes to get home. I was going to be late, that was a given. She checked me out slowly and I got out of there the second I got the receipt from her hands. To make everything worse, I had to walk alot to reach my car. I ran, trying my best not to trip.

When I got into the car it was already 6:03pm. I glared at the clock before backing out of my spot and driving towards home. I was hoping that Edward was late, but when I saw his Volvo in the driveway, and saw him on the porch I groaned.

It really made me look like a hypocrite. I got out of the car, holding two grocery bags in my hands, along with my wallet and keys.

" Why didn't you just go in?" I asked.

He sighed " I lost my key and Charlie and Renee are obviously working... But onto a different subject, -were-late-on-Sunday-and-I-was-pissed. Now who is late this time.

" The grocery store was busy."

" Nice outfit."

" Shut up or you wont get your Pumpkin Cheesecake Icecream." I threatened

He shut up and I grabbed my key, unlocking the door quickly. I brushed my bangs out of my face and walked inside. The air was warm, unlike outside. Edward went into the kitchen and grabbed spoons as I went upstairs. I quickly straightened up my room and flipped on my television.

" Why are potato crisps so dumb?" Edward asked, walking onto the room.

I stared at him.

" Because at parties their always hanging out with the dips."

I said nothing.

" Get it DIPS!"

I ignored him and turned on channel thirty six.

" No sense of humor I swear."

He walked forward, and rammed his foot into the corner of the bed frame. He yelped like a little school girl and dropped the spoons. I let out a loud laugh and he glared at me, rubbing the side of his foot.

" Now that was funny." I stated between giggles

" That fucking hurt!" he complained.

" Aw, poor baby. You're fine. If you don't mind I am going to change."

He smirked " Feel free to strip right here, Isabella." he joked with a laugh.

" Now, Edward. You've got luck, but your never going to be _that _lucky." I teased back, walking into my bathroom with a pile of clothes.

Edward rolled his eyes and ignored me. I slipped into my bathroom and locked the door. I put on the white shorts and navy blue tanktop, not bothering to take off my push-up bra. I threw my hair up in a ponytail and walked out of my bathroom, throwing the clothes in the hamper. I laid against my headboard next to Edward, who was already digging into the icecream. The Cardinals were winning so far. The score was already 7-3 and they were in the middle of the first quarter.

" Ugh, Cardinals suck. That guy took out Cutler without a hitch... Stupid. Bears need to get their heads out of their asses!"

Edward laughed and I opened up the lid on my icecream. I grabbed a spoon and dug into Pumpkin goodness.

The whole game went good, the Bears made an amazing comeback and by the fourth quarter. Now they were winning by seven points. Edward and I were cheering with mouthfulls of Icecream or Potato Crisps

EPOV

When the game was over Bella and I continued to chill and watch shows. Luckily we were off school tomorrow because of Halloween. I wasn't at all interested in Halloween, what's the fun of dressing in a stupid outfit and making a fool of yourself. Bella and I were skipping the party at Newtons and agreed on just handing out candy at my house.

At around midnight the television was turned off, and there was only a glow from the lamp beside Bella. I looked down at her to see she was asleep. I reached over and brushed her cheekbone with my hand. She looked peaceful when she slept, nothing to hide.

I was about to get up when she turned towards me, slowly moving over onto her side and pressing herself against me the slightest, her arm came up to rest against my stomach and her head laid on my chest.

I couldn't explain at the moment what I felt, but I knew, that it wasn't the normal feelings that I felt for her.

BPOV

When I awoke my body was wrapped completely around Edward's. His legs were tangled in mine and his arms were around my waist. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, and my head was leaning against his. At that moment, I wanted nothing but to stay in the position, then a certain blonde went through my mind.

Attempting to wiggle out of his grasp, he held me tighter and moved his head to nuzzle my neck. I froze and fought the urge to hold him just as tight.

_Edward is dating Tanya._

_Edward has a girlfriend._

_Edward has had sex with said girlfriend._

That was enough to make me want to shove him off, but I didn't. My head was telling me to let him go, but my heart was saying another thing. I took a deep breath and just relaxed, trying to fall alseep once again

----

" Aw, Carlisle look. Isn't that so sweet? Their cuddling."

" Darling, I know. But, Tanya."

Once I became slightly alert, but in a inconspicous way, I realized the new position that I was in. I was laying on my back and Edward was on his stomach, his right arm was bent and his elbow was below my belly- button and bent up where he pushed my shirt up right under my bra. My right leg was resting over the back of his leg. My left arm was over my chest and resting on his shoulder. My face was what I think only a few inchs from his, I could feel his breath against my chin.

" If Charlie saw this..." Esme trailed off. " How can Edward be so blind? They are just so adorable together it breaks my heart. We'd better leave before they awaken."

Edward was blind, how could he not see anything more in my eyes then just friendship for him. Now, I wouldn't say we were adorable together. I am so plain and Edward just isn't. He is gorgeous and though I think I am pretty, I could never compare to Tanya.

I felt Edward shift beside me, his leg that was under mine bending upwards. He let out a strange grunting noise, signalling he was awake. He shifted a moment moving his head to rest in the crook of my neck.

" So warm," he whispered sleepily, burying his face deeper.

" Edward," I whispered.

" Hmm?"

I shifted, making his hand below my bra, move up. " Edward, please get up." I murmured shakily.

Normally, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with the fact that his hand was on my chest, but when he touched me, as normal, Tanya would pop into my head, reminding me he had someone already. I wouldn't be opposed if she wasn't in the picture of course.

He shot up in bed quickly. Once realizing where his hand was he whipped it back.

" Oh my god. Bella, I am so sorry. That was highly inappropriate and I didn't do it on purpose." he spluttered.

I ran my hand nervously through my hair " It's fine."

A deep red blush covered my face and I looked down at my hands.

" I'm embarassed, too. I am so sorry, I can't believe I touched..."

" Really, don't worry about it."

EPOV

So fucking warm. That's what I was feeling all around me. I burrowed my face deeper into it, sighing quietly in contentment. This was something that I could definately live with for the rest of my life and be happy. It was like laying on a fucking cloud as the sun beamed down, warming me.

" Edward," a dream like voice whispered.

" Hmm?" I murmured, still basically asleep.

The warmness shifted and then I heard the voice once more. Couldn't it just shut up and let me sleep in this goddamn warmth and comfort.

" Edward, please get up." the voice murmured shakily in response.

I was now fully alert, and full well knew what my hand was laying on, and who's it belonged to. I whipped my hand off Bella's chest, which was basically showing because it looked like my hand had made it ridden up during the night.

I had been laying on my stomach and her leg was ontop of mine. I couldn't believe that I had actually touched her like that. Now if she wasn't wearing a bra, then that would of been awkward as hell. She seemed nervous though.

" Oh my god. Bella, I am so sorry. That was highly inappropriate and I didn't do it on purpose." I spluttered quickly, trying to make the situation better.

She ran her hand through her wild hair " It's fine."

Her cheeks flamed up in a bright red blush, washing over her cheeks and her neck. I sighed, pacing around her room and piching the bridge of my nose. What could I say to make it better? She was my best friend, I should know this. But the situation was foreign when it came to her and I.

" I'm embarassed, too. I am so sorry, I can't believe I touched..."

" Really, don't worry about it." she answered quickly

" Iz-"

She laughed " Just shut up, okay? We were in a compromising position, but nobody saw it. When I was fourteen you felt me up while I was sleeping."

I groaned at the memory.

" Yes, but you weren't as..." I trailed off, motioning to her chest.

" Developed?"

_Where the hell was this new found courage come from?_

BPOV

_Why aren't I blushing?_

I basically gave words from him to choose from, he just kept pinching his nose and doing what Edward does best; mumbling and stuttering. He did it constantly when he was embarassed or caught doing something.

He scratched the back of his head " Um. Yeah."

I laughed and stretched my arms above my head " Seriously, Edward. I really don't care so let's just drop it. It's not like I would tell anyone about it."

Edward nodded and stared at me, well, more like my abdomen. I stared at him, confused.

" Your shirt." he choked.

I look down to see that I was basically flashing him my bra. I blushed and fixed my tanktop. Out of all the bra's I decided on a push-up. Now if he wanted to stare, then that was fine. I did have a pretty nice display if I say so myself.

I've never been conceited but Alice and Rose constantly rave how jealous they are. When I was fifteen I just wanted them to go away, but then again, if it got Edward's attention, effectively making him attracted to me. Why the hell not?!

_God, I am such a idiot. He has a girlfriend. Tanya? Don't you remember her?_

It's not my fault he is so damn sexy.

**Authors Note-**

**So, did anybody see Remember Me? Well I did at 10:20 this morning, I gave up damn sleep just to see it.**

******************SPOILER ALERT!*****************SPOILER ALERT!******************

**I basically knew what was going to happen in the movie at the end, but actually seeing it happening was just entirely heartbreaking. When Tyler (Robert Pattinson) was in the office, I kept mouthing ' Oh, shit. Get out of there. Get the fuck out of there', it was in the category. Besides it being sad about the brother and the neglected sister, I thought it was quite funny. Aiden was quite the catch. Yes, I cried just a little. But Robert Pattinson and Emile De Ravin are amazing actors and I can't explain in words how good the movie turned out to be. **

**Review if you'd like.**


	10. Awkward Thanksgiving WakeUps

**Authors Note- Happy Friday to you all. Read the END NOTES.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

-----

2005

October 31st

Monday

Halloween

-----

BPOV

" It's already four thirty. Where are the kids? I mean seriously, we got the goods. Fucking king sized snickers. And hell, Carlisle threw in Ferrero Rocher, along with popcorn bags, Heath bars, Kit-Kats, Lemonheads and Starbursts, in the tube thing. Not just a single one. Us Swan's and Cullens never half-ass!"

I laughed and sat on the middle step on the porch. The air luckily nice. It wasn't warm, but it was comfortable sweatshirt weather with no cool winds. I wore a pair of medium wash skinny jeans, my pointed toe, heel boots. I had on a black shirt and an orange vest that Alice had gotten me, It was hanging unbuttoned on my body.. My hair was in a pony tail and I had my bangs falling in my face.

Edward, being the gay guy he is, decided that he wanted to do my make-up, and I now looked like I was hit in both of my eyes. He was going for a 'dead' look, as he said.

He was wearing a pair of jeans, his boots, a deliciously tight white shirt and a unbuttoned black vest, similar to mine, but for mens obviously. His hair was in it's normal dissaray, and he looked sexy as hell. We matched with the vests, but were just cool like that.

A little girl in a cowgirl costume ran up the sidewalk suddenly, her mother trying to keep up with her. She had a plastic pumpkin shaped bucket, her hands grasping it tightly.

" Trick or treat!" she said exitedly, showing off her missing two front teeth with a smile.

" Here you go." I said, holding the bucket out to her " Pick one of whatever you want."

She plucked out a Kit-kat. " All this for me?" she asked

" Of course."

" Say thank you Annabelle." her mother said, taking her hand.

" Thank you." she said shyly, running away.

I laughed and leaned against the railing. Edward chuckled along with me.

" She reminds me of you. Remember when you were four, and you were so shy that you asked Esme if she could get it for you."

I slapped his arm " Shut the fuck up."

" Oooh, language little one." he scolded.

" Your not the only one who uses foul language."

He rolled his eyes " It doesn't sound right coming from you. With the british accent and all."

" You have it to ya nutter."

His shoulder bumped with mine " Your a nutter."

A smile made it's way across his face. A real smile this time. Finally. I was getting sick of the forced smiles

Little kids passed through, taking sweets and thanking us for them. We had alot more candy in the house for refill's luckily. Kids were flooding in. When it was after six, the teenagers, familar students of our school, came around. Along with innapropriate dressing seventh and eight graders.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I answered it immediatly and greeted the person on the phone.

" Seven days..." the voice echoed.

I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone. Edward looked at me skeptically.

" Emmett being his usual, hobknocker, self." I elaborated.

I heard heels against the cement and a loud, screeching voice sound " EDDIE!"

Quickly, I stood and headed into the house.

" Bella, where are you going?" Edward asked, clearly confused.

" My hands, they have dirt on them."

I ran into the house and went to the sink. My eyes shut tightly and I inhaled a big breath before releasing it. I scrubbed my hands with dish soap and dried them with a tea-towel. I could hear talking out on the porch.

Knowing that I couldn't avoid being in her presence, I walked out of the house, seeing the group, along with Tanya and her best friend Carmen. After the shit she pulled about Edward and her having sex, really pissed me off. How could she just lie like that? And how could Edward just brush it off, when we fought about it.

I looked over at Tanya, and as usual, she was draped over Edward. She was wearing a too-short bee costume that was all clingy, showing off the boobs that she didn't have. From what I heard, she was supposedly getting a boob job for Christmas. Emmett had told me when he heard it from Lauren, who was blabbing about it endlessly.

The skirt just barely covered her underwear, which was visable and was bright red. Her heels were high, making her look even worse. Adorned on her blonde head was a headband antenna, sticking staight up. They looked like pipe cleaners with puff balls at the tip.

Her friend was wearing a pirate constume. Her stomach was showing and the top was all cut up with holes. The skirt was dark red and gauzy, which was ripped to the point of barely anything there. She had a hat and a sword in a loop that was hooked onto the skirt. She had on heels just like mine, but taller.

Tanya's icy eyes turned on me and she looked up and down my outfit " And your supposed to be?"

" I stopped dressing up when I was twelve." I deadpanned.

She scoffed " Whatever. But what about you, Eddie honey?"

_Eddie honey? _

I wanted to run away in hysterical laughter at the name. He scratched the back of his neck and stared at her hesitantly.

" I stopped dressing up when Bella did."

She huffed " Do you guys do everything alike? We learned how to do this together, we stopped doing this at this age. We lost interest so we just stopped doing it together. Seriously?"

Emmett, who was wearing a very creepy wolf costume, laughed loudly, hugging Rose, who was wearing a really cute Nurse outfit. Now Rose could pull of short, without looking innapropriate or slutty. There was just something about her that made her pull it off.

Alice was a Ballerina, adorned in a pink leotard, tu-tu and ballet shoes. Her hair was in pin-curles around her face, and there was a small pink clip on one side, holding her hair out of her face. Jasper, being the huge starwars geek he is, was wearing a Han Solo costume.

" You should dress up! Bella, you would make the perfect naughty school girl."

_Did I mention Edward wanted to be a Professor of Law?_

I smiled " Maybe next year."

Jasper smirked " Now I would like to see that."

" Totally agreed."

Rose and Alice smacked their mates arms and I blushed.

" She would look hot. Short plaid skirt, tight white button up, a tie, some panty hose maybe with garters and some black pumps. Oh we have totally got to dress her up. Guys would be crawling all over you, Izzy."

" Your all so... Just no, I don't do tight and short."

Edward chuckled " Yes, and I would rather not see my best friend wearing that."

" But isn't that like a guys cliche dream. Especially since your want to be a college professor."

Tanya glared at Alice.

" Well, Iz is my best friend. I don't see her that way."

I felt my heart clench just a bit, but forced a smile out and kept talking.

---

Later that night Tanya and Lauren had left, but our friends went over my my house, along with Edward's parents. We chilled in the living room, eating candy and snacks. When Alice whined that she wanted to eat the candy that Edward and I had, that Rose and Esme decided to go and retrieve it.

I went along, itching to go upstairs to the piano room. Carlisle and Esme knew how much I enjoyed to play, and since Carlisle doesn't play, they let me keep it here to play it. Edward used to play but he stopped when we moved here for some odd reason.

Esme looked at me skeptically, but said nothing. Rose followed her into the kitchen and I went to the second floor. The room was quiet and dark. I flipped on the lamp and sat down on the bench. My hands drifting over the keys I so desperately wanted to play.

Esme POV

I knew that when Isabella went upstairs, she was going for the piano room. She could play the most beautiful music, and her voice was beautiful. Rosalie retreived the bucket and smiled at me.

" So, why did Bella go upstairs."

" She plays the piano beautifully. Ever since she was six, Carlisle taught her."

Rose smiled genuinely " I didn't know that. Can we go up and hear?"

" If we are quiet. She is really shy."

We crept up the stairs silently and I heard the first few notes of the music. The room was straight down the hall. Rosalie stayed next to me as I cracked the door.

Her slim fingers glided over the keys, making a beautiful sound echo in the room. Some notes were soft, but some were deeper. Her playing was powerful, holding meaning to them.

" She's really good." Rose whispered beside me.

Suddenly, Isabella's head whipped around. She stared at us as we peeked through the door. Quickly she stood with a emotionless look on her face.

" I do not like it when people listen to me." she murmured.

" Your really good, Bella. I didn't even knew you played." Rose complimented.

Isabella brushed past us " Let's go."

She ran down the stairs and out of the front door without a word. I stared after her, confusion sweeping over my body.

----

BPOV

" So tired. Iz, I am sleeping here." Edward groaned, sprawling over my bed.

Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper walked into my bedroom, Alice showing them everything. I rolled my eyes and plopped down on my bed.

" You taking the cot, dude. Your banned from my bed." I informed him

He scowled at me.

" Dude, why don't we hang up here?" Rose asked.

" That's what I said!" Alice chimed " I asked her that, but she made a pretty good point; we would make a mess."

Emmett laughed " Yeah. But you let Eddie in here."

I rolled my eyes " Edward is clean, and it's not my fault he loves me."

" Aw, do you two cuddle up with eachother. Now, Edward, what would Tanya think of this?" Jasper said, faking concern at the end of his sentance.

Edward glared at all of them " She doesn't think I actually sleepover, and if any of you say anything then I will kill you. Most of the time I sleep in the cot"

Alice and Rose glared back " Tanya is our friend. And most importantly your _girlfriend._ Shouldn't she know that you sleep in another girls bed or that she sleeps in yours. Together."

He sighed " I know that, and I don't want to keep it from her. But she isn't close with Bella and I knew if she found out then she would get angry, and that is not a fight I want. And as I said, I rarely fall asleep in Bella's bed."

" Well, just stop sleeping over at eachothers houses."

_Could they just shut the fuck up already?!_

" Drop it. Just let it be and don't say anything. Is it that hard to keep your mouth closed for this once."

Jasper lounged on one of the plush by my television " I won't say nothing. Ali, it's not like they are doing anything. They are best friends. If anything was going on, then we would know and Edward nor Bella, is the kind of person to just carry on a relationship when Edward is with Tanya."

Alice sighed and dropped into his lap " Fine. I won't say anything."

I looked over at Rose, who also sighed " I won't either."

Then we all looked at Emmett. He was known for his big mouth, he was like a gossiping old lady. He shrugged and wrapped his arm around Rose.

" I'll keep the trap shut."

The television was soon flipped on and everyone settled on the floor or in my chair. It was only eight fifteen and there was still time to chill. I didn't feel like going down to the basement but we agreed to watch a movie, and they wouldn't spill drinks.

" EMMETT! Your getting potato crisps on the floor."

" Potato crisps?" he questioned with a mouthful.

Edward stared at him " Yes, your eating them, you know what they are."

" Don't you mean potato _chips._" Emmett corrected

" Um, no. Crisps." I said, clearly confused.

" You've been here for like three years, shouldn't you know it's potato chips, not crisps."

I buried myself under my mound of comforters and pillows, feeling completely comfortable and relaxed. I took deep breaths, feeling Edward's hand trace the lines where my veins were on my arm. The light touch soothed me further into sleep. I yawned and tried to keep my eyes wide, wanting to stay up until our friends left.

Edward's face drifted towards mine " Just sleep." he whispered, his sweet breath washing over me.

I let my eyes flutter shut on their own accord and let myself drift.

------

November 6th

Sunday

Edward's last lesson.

------

_Beep_

" Bella! Get up!"

_Beep_

" IZ B!"

_Beep_

_Beep_

" You promised to come with me to my last session, I have to take a test and get my license for the motorcycle. If I don't then I can't take you with me on rides in the spring. And since your clock was set an hour late then normal! You have sixteen mintues to get ready!"

I shot up quickly, my eyes wild and panicked. I leapt out of bed, almost falling in the process. I went into the bathroom, half asleep and yanking the tangles from my hair. Edward came in the bathroom.

" Your going to pull your hair out. Wash your face, and hand this over."

He, being the nice best friend he is, gently untangled my hair as I washed my face. When I finished washing my face, Edward put the comb down. I kissed his cheek in thanks and ran out of the bathroom. I grabbed clothes blindly from my drawers and closet and ran into the bathroom. I slipped on the grey 'The Clash' t-shirt and my jeans.

With record time I brushed my teeth, put my hair up, got my shoes on, grabbed a jacket along with my bag, and we were in the Volvo ten minutes later. I took a deep breath once my back hit the leather.

" Fuck, I don't think I have ever dressed so fast." I sighed.

" Language!"

" Sorry, daddy." I grumbled

Edward chuckled " I'm not your daddy. Unless Charlie sleeps in his bed with you, and you cuddle with him."

" Oh shut up Edward Cullen. Your the one who cuddles up next to me, Mr. Clingy, you the one who sneaks in my bed at night."

" It's not my fault your so soft." he teased.

_Your gorgeous bicep muscles aren't soft, but I love those wrapped tightly around my waist..._

I saw his hands infront of my face, snapping his fingers to get my attention. I shook my head out of my Edward induced trance and looked at him.

" You got this weird look in your eyes. Are you okay?"

" Um, yeah." I assured " Just tired."

----

I waited in the lobby as Edward took the test. He had been studying like a mad-man, and been trying his hardest. I was excited for him and felt sorry for him at the same time. Excited that he could get his license if he passes -which he will- but sad because he will have to wait until the snow, ice and slush is off the ground. Summer would probably be his best feat considering the springs here are grueling. With all the thunderstorms.

I always forced him to stay with me when there were thunderstorms with lightening. They were truly frightening out here sometimes. My foot tapped nervously as the clock hands neared eleven. They had a full hour to complete the fourty five question test. It basically covered all the main things about how to work a motorcycle, and what each function on the motorcycle did.

Once the hande ticked, signalling it was eleven. Some came out smiling with their test results, while people that took longer had to wait until it was graded. Edward came out, holding his packet. His face had no expression. I stood, holding my bag.

" So..."

" Well... We better get over so I can get my motorcycle license!" he basically yelled

I smiled at him, wrapping an arm around his waist as we walked over to the main area. People were taking pictures for driver's license and signing forms.

When Edward had to write his signature for his license he was all shakey and jumpy. He excitedly hugged the worker before leaving, skipping to his Volvo and getting into the drivers side.

" To think, after we get through the rest of Autumn, then Winter and part of Spring I can ride my bike!"

I laughed " Congratulations, Edward." I said sincerely.

" And once I get used riding fully, then you and I will be together, you right on back with me."

" I'm going to get hurt." I deadpanned.

His face dropped " You don't want to ride with me?"

" Of course I do! I want to make all the bitches jealous."

He chuckled " That is why you are my best friend."

------

November 23rd

Wednesday

Day Before Thanksgiving

------

We were on break since Monday and I had been working two extra shifts today. I started this morning at seven, opening up the place, and then I closed down at eleven, arriving home at eleven twenty. Home was dark and I just wanted to sleep.

Tomorrow was Thanksgiving and there was no doubt in my mind that Edward would try to wake me up. I was way ahead of him when I set my alarm clock to nine o'clock.

I dropped my purse, kicking off my shoes and dropped onto my bed, still wearing most of my uniform, but I could care less.

----

Thanksgiving

----

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

_Beep_

I reached over blindly and slapped the snooze button ontop of my alarm clock. My body felt gross and I smelt of tomatoes and spices. I laid in bed for a little longer before pulling myself out of bed. There was noise downstairs and I would have to get down there soon.

The hot shower made my body feel less gross and my hair less greasy. I lathered up my hair and body twice with the strawberry scented soaps. Once I was rinsed off and clean I stepped out of the shower and dried off with a nice, fluffy towel.

I went into my bedroom and looked at my clothes that were laid out. I had picked out a pair of skinny jeans and the heels that I received from Alice. My top a orange color, not stop-and-stare orange, just a nice subtle orange. It was made with sweater like material and it was off the shoulder.

I put my wet hair up to get it out of the way as I dressed. First I slipped on a pair of black lacey boy-short panties, I was never one for sexy lace, though Alice and Rose tried countless times to get me to wear sexy lingerie. I figured I would cave for a holiday. I grabbed the skinny jeans next and put my legs through the leg holes.

They fit snuggly against my legs and I quickly zipped the zipper and buttoned them up. I smoothed them down and was about to grab my bra when my door opened abruptly.

My chest was basically full on display to Edward. It took a second before I yelped and covered my chest with my arms, which was kinda a lost cause when my arms were twiggy and small and my chest was not. I turned around, thanking god I atleast had pants on.

" Fuck! Can't you knock?"

" Can't you lock the door?!" he yelled.

" Shut the door!" I yelled back

He slammed it and I ran to lock it. My face was bright red. I just flashed my breasts at him. But it wasn't my fault he never leared how to knock before entering a room. That was probably the most embarassing thing that I have ever gone through. Edward and I have our fair share of stories that were embarassing, but he saw my naked chest!

That was a whole new level on embarassing.

I tossed on a strapless matching, black, lacey bra to match my panties and threw my shirt on. Ajusting the way it touched the tops of my arms. It was good that I owned a strapless bra, especially with an off the shoulder top.

I let my wet hair down and blew it out, then I heated up the iron and curled my hair in long, silky curls down my back. My hair was nice and shiny when I finished, nice a sleak. I used a little bit of hairspray to hold it and then did my make-up.

Once I finished I slipped on the black pointed-toe heels and walked downstairs. I could hear loud laughing from the kitchen and walked in. Esme was stirring the stuffing ingrediants all together and my mother added spices. Carlisle and my father were at the table, sipping glasses of wine. My dad had on a flannel button down, which was his usual attire, and Carlisle wore a pair of dark was jeans and a grey sweater, with a white shirt peeking under. Esme wore a deep red sweater dress with black boots, looking like she was twenty, not in her fourties, and my mother had on a pair of black slacks and a pretty purple top, hair in little curls.

Edward had on dark wash jeans and a emerald green button down, sleeves rolled up.

" Isabella, what did I say about locking doors when you are dressing?" my father addressed sternly.

" I was twelve and I was changing in the bathroom!" I exclaimed.

" Twelve! I told you that you had a lock for a reason. Use it."

I huffed " It's not my fault somebody didn't knock and got a display of what was behind the door."

Esme laughed and Edward blushed " Just learn to lock your door." Edward mumbled.

" Well I apologize if you didn't like what you saw, but it wasn't completely my fault."

My father glared at me " Isabella,"

" Oh, loosen up, Charlie. She was only kidding." Renee said, kissing the top of his head.

" I don't like boys seeing you that way. Unless your married, I think not. Pre-marital sex is very wrong." He firmly stated.

" Well I agree about the pre-marital sex part." Carlisle agreed.

Edward's eyes slightly widened and he looked away, digging through the fridge for a soda. I stiffled a laugh and smiled at my father.

" That is completely off subject, it's not like we-" He glared at me hard. "Of course, father."

I stood next to him and he put his arm around my waist to hug me.

" How was work yesterday. I hadn't seen you at all."

" I was taking extra shifts. I needed the money for Christmas presents."

" Are you still planning to go to Columbia?" Carlisle asked, turning the subject into college

" Yeah, but I have also been looking into being a Architect possibly."

" Have you lost interest in journalism?" Esme asked.

I shrugged " A little. I mean it would be fun, but I want to do something more productive. Something that holds importance."

" Well it takes three years of graduate school and four years of college. Would you be willing to go through that? Then you have to start out as an intern with a thirty thousand salary a year, and then build up obviously."

" Well we all have to build up. I just want to have a stable salary eventually. When I get married, I want to be able to provide, too. Of course we all know I am not going to settle for being a stay at home mother."

They chuckled " Isabella, you are going to have to find someone very special. Carlisle expected me to do that with Edward but I refused."

" Us Swan and Cullen girls have to keep up independence." Renee chimed.

" Agreed, mother."

EPOV

" Edward, can you go get, Isabella. It is time for her to get up now." Renee asked.

I smiled and headed towards the stairs " Sure thing,"

I walked up the stairs and down the hall. Her bedroom door was closed and it was quiet, she always kept her door closed while sleeping. Without much thought I opened the door and was shocked at what I saw displayed infront of me.

Bella stood infront of the door, holding a bra, which wasn't on her body, and her breasts fully exposed to me.

She yelped and covered her chest with her arms, which was kinda a lost cause when Bella was a little on the veluptous side. Her arms were tiny and her chest was... not.

_You have a girlfriend fucktard!_

She turned around, leaving me to see her bare back.

" Fuck! Can't you knock?" she screamed

" Can't you lock the door?!" I yelled

" Shut the door! Get out!" she yelled back.

Quickly I whipped the door shut and leaned against it.

Holy fuck!

I ran downstairs, probably pale as a ghost. When I got into the kitchen I looked at Charlie. He had once walked in on Bella when she was like twelve and she didn't lock the bathroom door.

" Teach your daughter to LOCK the door."

Esme covered her hand to hide her laugh, while my father openly laughed. Renee shook her head and Charlie glared at me. He was very protective of Bella, even when it came to me. When we got older and slept in the same bed, he would come in the middle of the night to make sure we were dressed.

" What did you see?" he asked.

My hands shook slightly " Her chest!" I exclaimed.

At the counter, my mother put her head down and burst out in hysterics.

" It's just like the morning story, but different." my father said.

" Morning story?" Renee asked

I glared at my father " Don't."

" Well they were sixteen and it was last winter. Bella and Edward had slept in the same bed and Bella woke up to a little surprise from Edward."

They seemed confused, and I hoped that my father wouldn't elaborate.

" In the MORNING." my mother said with giggles slipping from her mouth.

Realization swept over their features and Charlie blushed, just like Bella always does.

" It was the morning." I mumbled, not saying anthing else.

**Authors Note- **

**So from here I am going to do Christmas next, because I need to make progress if we want to get to the prologue coming. I am writing already up to chapter 26 now, and the prologue still isn't there because of so many things happening in the story. But I am not going to rush it, because then it won't look like good writing. **

**Also! I may start updating on Tuesdays now, so that I can get these chapters out to you guys, and I bet twice a week would make you guys happier. It would probably be temporary because I don't want to use out all the chapters, then struggle to get them out. **

**Now, I am finished rambling, but I hope you all read that because it is important.**

**Reviewing means alot to an Author who takes the time to write, feedback is always encouraging and I sincerely appreciate it. Have a great weekend.**


	11. A Lonenly New Year

**Authors Note-**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight**

BPOV

" Your actually dressed this time! Congrats, Bella." Edward stated, strolling into my bedroom.

I flipped him the bird and turned onto my back " Oh, Edward. I saw you staring, we all know that you liked what you saw. I mean, how can I blame you. Your poor girlfriend stuffs her bra with fake boobs that you buy from the drug store."

His mouth dropped slightly " That's not nice. Tanya is just... insecure. Don't pick on her."

I rolled my eyes " Okay, whatever you say."

" Speaking of... Tanya is coming with us Christmas shopping. She do-"

The door whipped open, a annoyed Tanya walking through " Uh, Edward. Shouldn't we leave?"

" Iz needs to get her ass in the shower!" Edward said with a laugh, grabbing my wrists and pulling me out of bed. He shoved me in the direction of the bathroom and I tripped into the door frame.

" Ow." I said plainly.

" Whoa there clumsy. Don't want you to start bleeding so early in the day." Edward joked.

I slapped his arm and he slapped mine back. I shoved him hard, making him fall and catch himself on my bed. As he was lunging towards me I shut the bathroom door, making him hit it with a _thud _. I giggled and walked towards the shower.

" Wow, that was stupid." I heard Tanya snear.

" Well, thats just how Bella and I are." Edward defended.

" Whatev."

I turned on the shower and stepped into the hot water. Trying to ignore the words of Tanya playing in my head. Once I was all clean I stepped out and brushed my teeth thoroughly, and flossing. I yawned and rubbed my hands over my face, still not awake after the shower.

When I heard no noise in my bedroom I took that as the sign of them being gone. I opened the door and saw my room was infact empty. Quickly I locked the door and stripped the towel off. I ran stark naked to my drawers and slipped on underwear and a bra. My skinny jeans came next and then I grabbed a long sleeved grey and black striped shirt and a pair of silver flats with a little black ribbon.

I sighed and went to the bathroom. I straightened my hair and did my make-up, I lined my eyes in black eyeliner and skipped from my room, bag in hand.

They were downstairs, shamelessly making out in my foyer. Maybe I should get a boyfriend and make-out infront of Edward and see what he feels like. The heart cracking feeling.

I sighed before speaking " I'll go alone if you would like to continue this here." I stated.

Edward broke away with a _smack _and I grabbed my keys.

" I'm gonna take my car."

" Why?" Edward demanded.

" I've got a shift at six so I'll have to split." I eleborated, grabbing my jacket and hopping outside.

Tanya followed me and Edward locked up the house for me, like he normally did when we went out.

" Cute shoes." Tanya said. Dare I say, sincerely?

I whipped my head around and stared at her. She smiled at me, a weird look in her eyes. I looked down at her boots and smiled sincerely.

" Thanks, so are yours." I said with a fake smile plastered on my face.

I slipped into my car and started it up. Edward held Tanya's hand to his car and opened the door for her. I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath before getting out on the roads, making a trip downtown to the mall.

---

Somehow I ended up alone, in a store filled with wallets, purses, suitcases and briefcases. Edward had just bailed, and said not a thing. I only figured it out when I tried saying something to him, realizing that I was talking to an old lady who looked at me as if I were crazy.

I stood in the store, looking for a nice, black leather briefcase for my best friends father. Some were burgundy, which wasn't my favorite color. I wanted black leather damn it! I wouldn't get him something that I personally wouldn't want.

Finally when I found what I was looking for, I examined it. There was a gold colored plaque that was small and rectangular, used to be engraved with a name or something. Making sure that the edges weren't stretched or ripped, I brought it to the counter and asked for _Carlisle Cullen _to be engraved into the plaque.

He told me to come back in a half hour and I was off to search for a gift for Esme. I had gotten my father a few new flannel shirts, that weren't faded, and a gift card for him to the coffee shop, where he stopped to get coffee everyday since we moved here. I also got him a pair of new gym shoes, since his were all battered.

My mother's gift I had found in a little store downtown. It was a beautiful antique lamp with different jewels and stones in the lamp shade. The base was a french pale gold and it was beautiful. My mother loved things like that to place in the house.

I came to a stop by a jewelery store when something caught my eye. With my bags in hand I walked in the store. There was a goregous sterling silver charm bracelet with a heart charm attatched. The note next to it said that it was to be engraved with words, names etc... The price was a little much, but no higher then my mothers gift.

I walked to to a worker and asked her if she could take it out so I could see it.

" Of course. Here."

She grabbed a key and opened the cabinet, taking it out and setting it on the counter. I stared at it in awe. I knew Esme would love it to peices.

" Is one fifty five the full price?" I asked her.

" When you buy something over one hundred and twenty then you get a ten percent off discount."

I smiled " Okay, I would like to purchase it and get it engraved. How long would that take."

" It's pretty slow today... Give me twenty minutes and I will get it finished. Just write down what you want and it's set."

I wrote 'Esme' down on a peice of paper and slid it towards her. I bid her goodbye and headed to pick up the briefcase for Carlisle. When I walked in the store it was all ready paid for when I had left previously. I thanked the man before grabbing the bag and walking around the store. I wandered for awhile until I went back.

There was still five minutes left but I was a little tired from carrying all the bags, and pissed at Edward for just bailing on me. Tanya always made him turn into a jerk around me, it was like she was some evil witch that could control people...

The lady came out and I went up to the counter, collecting up the bracelet and looking at it. It was engraved beautifully in an elegant script.

" Thank you so much.. Do you take debit?"

" Yes we do, slid here."

I slid my card through and entered my pin. Once it was finalized she gave me a receipt and I walked out of the store. I didn't bother to search for Edward I just went to my car and loaded it up. My shift was in a hour and I needed to tell him I was leaving. I leaned against the back and took my phone out, sending him a text.

**Thanks for ditching. I'm leaving now for my shift, so... bye.**

It wasn't anything mean, but I did want to get it through him that he was rude for just ditching. I stared up the car and headed home.

I inconspicuously got everything upstairs to my bedroom and into my closet. I frowned at the iPod touch I got Edward and closed the closet door with a thud.

My phone dinged, meaning I got a text.

**sry.c u l8r**

" What the fuck?" I asked myself, throwing my phone on my bed.

---

"I SAID I WAS SORRY! Can't you accept and get over it?!" Edward yelled at me, bursting through my bedroom.

" Is this Tanya's Edward, or the actual Edward? I am confused right now." I stated, taking off my nametag and throwing it on my dresser.

He rolled his eyes " Hilarious, Isabella. So, I ditched you, who cares?"

" Most definately Tanya's Edward. Get out, Edward. I am not going to deal with this shit."

" Your the one who was all, thanks for ditching me. Why didn't you just tell me before leaving." he mimicked. I could defianetly smell the alcohol in his breath.

" I DIDN'T SAY IT MEANLY! I just said, it would of been nicer to just tell me before going off. Your always so fucking- nevermind. Get out of my room, I am too tired to deal with this."

He laughed without humor " Perfect, Isabella. With her stupid job, fabulous grades and the perfect life!" he screamed.

I sat down on my bed and set my hat down next to the nametag.

" She doesn't smoke, has guys crawling all over her!" he continued.

" Stop it." I said sternly, feeling the tears well up.

I had no idea why he was taking the situation this far. He had no right to yell at me, and drag it on so far. The tears threatened to fall, and I tried to fight them, not wanting to show him any weakness. I could tell that he must of been drinking, I just didn't know why he was taking his anger out on me.

" Always the perfect fucking role-model!"

Charlie came into the room " Edward, I think you should go home. Now."

Edward glared at me fiercely before leaving the room, basically shoving Charlie against the door. I covered my face with my hands and let the tears fall.

" Why is he doing this all of a sudden? Why is he taking it out on me?" I said through tears.

My father sat down and wrapped his arm around my waist. " I just think he is with the wrong crowd right now, sweetheart. Esme and Carlisle are great parents, they will straighten it out and he will be sorry when he wakes up tomorrow."

" Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. He'll probably just go to Tanya's."

I heard footsteps through my door.

" Isabella, Esme is on the phone. She wants to talk to you, honey."

I wiped my tears and grabbed the phone. My father kissed my temple and stood, he put his arm around my mom and led her out of the room to give me privacy.

" Hello?" I asked

" Dear, I am so sorry. Your mom just sent him over and Carlisle is talking to him upstairs in his bedroom. I promise you we'll straighten this out, sweetheart. This won't happen again and if it does then that Motorcycle is going straight back where it came from."

" It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you,"

" You, too. Get some sleep."

" I will."

I hung up the phone and laid on my bed. I shed my work pants and shirt, lying under the covers in my underwear, letting my tears soak the pillow. I had never been so hurt by him, ever. Edward was always such a great guy, always a good head on his shoulders. Then he has these sudden outbursts where he does his usual out of character and then I am the one who gets dumped on.

_'Perfect life'_

If he only knew how far from perfect my life was.

---

When the tears stopped falling I fell asleep around two in the morning. My body drained of any energy, with a deep sigh from my lips I drifted off under the comforters only to be softly awoken by Esme in the morning around ten thirty.

Her hand pressed gently against my shoulder, just enough to wake me up. I rubbed my hand over my slightly sore eyes and yawned.

" Were going to be starting to make dinner around twelve. I figured I would wake you to see how you are?"

" Okay," I rasped with a dry-throat.

She handed me a glass of water and I sat up to drink it. I gulped it down quickly and felt my throat feel better. She handed me a wet cloth for my eyes and I let it rest for a few minutes before getting up.

" I'm going to go downstairs and let you bathe and dress."

" Alright. Thanks, Esme."

" Of course, dear."

She left my room and locked it on her way out. I slid out of bed and started up the water as I stripped out of my clothes. I made my shower last, not wanting to leave the warmth. Soon I had to shut it off and pulled the curtain back. I wrapped a towel around my body and my hair before walking into my bedroom.

I slipped on a pair of dark wash jeans and a red v-neck sweater. I put on a pair of white socks and my black converse before taking my hair out of the towel. I used a thin comb to get the tangles out and dried my hair. Once my hair was finished and curled I barely bothered with make-up. I used powder under my eyes to get rid of the purple and put on some cherry chapstick.

When I got downstairs I could faintly hear Christmas songs playing in the backround. Normally we flew out to London and spent Christmas with Carlisle and Esme's parents, and my fathers parents, and my mothers mom. We were all so close, our family, the friendships went on for generations. This year, they said we were going to stay here, but were going next year until New Years. That, I was looking forward to.

Slowly I walked into the kitchen, a little surprised to see that Edward was nowhere to be seen. I helped them prepare the small turkey and ham, along with the small vegetable dishes.

Around dinner time, I expected him to come, but he didn't.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was with Tanya, spending Christmas with her. He probably though of her as better company then me anyways. I barely touched my food all night and when we were handing out gifts to eachother, I felt a bit of emptiness.

The gifts from Edward and I were opened on Christmas Eve, and the presents our parents gave eachother were opened. I sat on the couch, staring at the television that was playing A Christmas Story a milllion times.

I went up to my bedroom and saw the silver and red wrapping paper, the gift behind the paper for Edward. There was ribbon on it and everything. Silently I picked it up and grabbed my black peacoat.

Edward wasn't home when I walked in his bedroom, so I just set his gift on his unmade bed and left.

" Where did you go?" Renee asked when I walked back in the house.

" I just dropped Edward's gift off."

Esme and Carlisle grabbed their own jackets, slipping them on. It was already eight at night and it was now time for them to leave. They both gave me a big hug and wished us a Merry Christmas before going out into the falling snow.

" I'm going to go to sleep. I'll see you guys in the morning." I informed my parents.

" Thanks for the gifts, Isabella. You didn't have to but thank you."

I gave them both a kiss on the cheek and trudged upstairs to my bedroom. This day wasn't turning out like I wanted it. I just wanted to forget what happened with Edward and just talk to him again. We always spent Christmas night together. It was a tradition, but as I walked into my bedroom, I felt even more emptier when it was empty.

What was I expecting? For him to be sleeping in my bed already?

I threw off my clothes and got into bed. Down the hall I could hear my parents bedroom door closing. I wondered if Edward opened my gift, or if he was even home at this time. My phone buzzed beside me and I grabbed it, seeing it was a text from Jasper.

**I figured since he's your best friend you would want to know that he was over at Tanya's spending Christmas with her, and Alice and Rose were also there. He didn't do much, but he told me what happened last night and he said that he was really upset at himself for how he treated you. Merry Christmas, Izzy.**

**- Jasper**

Jasper was always a good, sincere guy. Alice was really lucky to have someone like him. I texted him a quick message, that didn't mention Edward and clicked send. _Merry Christmas, Jasper -Iz_

-----

December 25th

Sunday

Christmas

-----

Christmas officially sucked this morning. Everything was just foreign and wrong, normally we would go over the Cullens and opened the gifts Esme and Carlisle got Edward and I. Then we would switch and Edward and I would open the gifts we got from my parents.

Instead I sat by the tree, there was a huge rectangular present leaning against the wall, a blanket thrown over it. There was an envelope. Two actually, one was from Carlisle and Esme.

I ripped open the first envelope from my parents and saw a gift card to Home Depot. There was a little over a hundred dollars on it. I stared at them, clearly confused. They pointed to the huge object and I stood to rip off the blanket. Still in it's wrapping, was a box spring and a full sized bed.

" Seriously!" I all but yelled.

I hugged them both tightly " Thank you so much."

" Well, your seventeen, you need a bigger bed. And I figured that you could get rid of the cot?"

My mood shifted just as easily " Um, I guess."

I sat down next to them on the couch and took a deep breath.

" Things will straighten out, honey." My father assured me, wrapping an arm around my waist. I leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder.

My mother patted my knee and picked up the Home Depot card. " You can get your room re-painted with this, get all the supplies needed and go over those ugly olive walls."

I laughed " They are a little ugly."

She handed me the other envelope and I slowy opened the top, ripping it. Inside was a three hundred dollar Visa Gift Card from them, which was to use for anything. I slipped it out of the white envelope and held it.

" I best thank them after I dress." I stated

" That would be best. They aren't spending here Christmas today because Edward is home and it's not a good time. But we are going to be going out to dinner since we made it last night. I made reservations for Williamson's and we are leaving at four thirty. So you can go over there before that."

I smiled " Thanks for the gifts. I am so thankful."

" You deserved it honey. Now we will keep the mattress down here until you paint the bedroom and then you can re-decorate as you wish."

I stood up from my spot on the couch and told them I was going up to my bedroom to shower. I set the gift cards down on my dresser and stared at the cot. Should I rid it?

---

Later once I was dressed I went over to the Cullen's. They were in the kitchen and Esme was making dinner for them. She was surprised to see me, but was happy nonetheless. Edward wasn't around, and I was glad for that. I wasn't ready to forgive him so easily. I still wondered if he opened my gift

" I just wanted to drop by quickly, and thank you so much for the gift card. It didn't have to be so much but thank you anyways." I thanked her, hugging her tightly.

" Of course, sweetie. Merry Christmas."

Carlisle was in the living room, watching A Christmas Story. It was just one of those movies that you couldn't get tired of, no matter how many times it's watched. I plopped down next to him and wrapped my arms around him tightly.

" Thank you, Carlisle." I murmured.

" You deserved it, honey. Use it wisely." he chuckled.

I kissed his cheek and stood up, he wished me a 'Merry Christmas' and gave him one back before heading to the kitchen. I bid her a goodbye and made my way to the foyer just as Edward was bounding down the stairs.

He paused for a moment infront of me. Dark purple streaks had taken a residence under his eyes, but at this time, I had to ignore it. He has to come to me this time. This had to do with him and I had nothing to apologize for.

As he was about to open his mouth I brushed past him and opened the front door, I closed it and jogged back home.

----

My break was over on Monday, January 9th. Today was New Years Eve and my father, being the hopeless romantic he is, had planned a surprised trip to take my mother to Colorado to stay in a ski-resort until the fifth. My mom was bouncing off the walls excited, but she worried about me.

The plan that Charlie came up with; was for me to stay with the Cullen's because they didn't want me alone. I told them that because of the situation, I just wanted to stay home, paint my room and do whatever I wanted.

So here I stand, in the kitchen surrounded by six bottles of sparkling grape juice, three red and three white, and a brand new bottle of wine, Shiraz to be exact. I jogged up to my bedroom, all of the bottles in my arms. I held a wine glass and poured a cup of the red sparkling grape juice.

" Happy New Year's Eve to me." I mumbled, gulping half of the full wine glass down.

---

What had possesed me to run around the house in my lacey boyshorts and a tanktop?

No fucking clue, all I know was that I was dancing and running around, just having a good time. Nobody was here to bother me and I could run free. I danced infront of the fridge happily and then suddenly remembered that there were reservations to dinner.

I called up the resturaunt and canced the reservation. The person talked enthusiastically and I hung up and called up 'The Village', they delivered occasionally. If I just turned on the charm.

" Well, I was just wondering if you would make an exception. I come often and would REALLY appreciate if you could get someone to deliver."

The guy on the line sighed " Fine. Whats your order?"

"Mushroom Ravioli."

" Address?"

" 1901 West Diversey Parkway."

I hung up the phone and continued to dance around the house. I did a little laundry, dusting and vacuuming. The door rang about twenty minutes later, and I was a little surprised because it was kinda quick for the delivery.

Without caring about what I was wearing, I just walked to the front door and cracked it open. Seeing the last person I thought that I would see again today. He stood, wearing his jacket, covered in bits of snow. He held a small box in his hand, and an apologetic look on his face.

" Yeah?" I asked quietly.

He held out the box and I took it, and set it on the table below where my father held his gun. I stood awkwardly by the door, slightly shivering from the cold.

" I just wanted to give you your present, and wish you a Merry Christmas. Thank you for my gift, I didn't deserve it. At all."

I shrugged " It was nothing. Merry Christmas."

" Bella, it's a 32 gig and it costs like three pay checks for you. Why am I such a shitty friend?"

Nervously I bit my lip " You're not. Right now, you just need to get shit together. But in the mean time, I won't be the person you yell at when your drunk." I said quietly, shutting the front door.

I grabbed his gift and walked into the living room. When I sat on the couch I stared at it for a moment. The blue paper mocking me. Slowly I ripped it off and saw a white box. I lifted the cap and inside there was a goregous tennis bracelet with emerald stones and diamonds. The elagence of it took me away. I clasped it on and it fit perfectly.

I stared at my wrist, seeing how it looked. With a sigh I slipped the bracelet off, setting it into the box. I went upstairs and put it in my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants from my drawer just as I heard the doorbell ring.

I jogged downstairs, now wearing sweatpants. The delivery boy smiled at me and gave me the styrofoam package. I gave him the right amount of money, and a tip because he drove here and then shut my front door.

The ravioli was still nice and warm so I went upstairs to my bedroom and proceeded to drink all the sparkling grape juice.

----

Midnight started to roll around and I was watching the ball drop on television. They had bands playing and everything. I poured a glass of the wine and laid in bed, eyes glued to the television. I had to come up with a New Years resolution, something good.

I wouldn't let Tanya's relationship with Edward ruin my year.

I just wanted a year full of happiness and joy. A year where I can finally relax and become content with lifes occurances. At this moment, I wondered where Edward was.

He was probably at the Denali's because Tanya was throwing a huge New Years bash, and he was probably getting ready to kiss her about now as the clock counted down from ten. I desperately wanted to be the girl that he kissed in the beginning of the New Year.

_5_

_._

_._

_._

_4_

_._

_._

_._

_3_

_._

_._

_._

_2_

_._

_._

_._

_1_

" HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the television screamed as the ball dropped, sending confetti of all different colors flying in the air. People screamed and loud horns went out.

The camera turned as people in the crowd grabbed their mates and placed loving kisses on their lips. I stared at the television, watching the couples, and possibly new couples.

I took a long pull from my wine glass, ignoring the slight burn in my throat.

**Authors Note-**

**Well, it seems as though my inbox has gone on a review diet. I am afraid that if you guys don't feed it, it may starve to death. We wouldn't want that to happen, would we? A simple smiley face is all it takes for me to be motivated!**


	12. Sickness

**Authors Note- Holy Jesus H. Christ! All the reviews I got last chapter, thank you guys so much. My mouth was dropping looking at my inbox. I think it got very well feed, what do you think. Well, I got alot of - : ), these. Again, thank you guys so much it really means alot that you leave me a note and let me know that I am not failing at this.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

" Bella. Sweetie, are you okay?" a soothing voice whispered.

The days after my parents were gone, I spent it just laying around and doing nothing. I felt like doing nothing because I hadn't heard from my friends, nor Edward. He was the one I wanted to hear from, but he wasn't talking.

I had considered just going over to his house and begging him to talk to me. I had even considered apologizing myself for acting like a bitch. But I didn't feel like I had acted like one. He was the one who just dissapeared and yelled at me in his drunk induced self.

His words echoed everywhere in my head and it didn't sound like him. It didn't sound like the Edward I knew. The one who would hug me when I was sad, or when I felt bad. The one who always loved to spend time with me, not matter what we were doing and just acted silly with me.

Not the one who ditched me to drink with his jock friends.

Last night I had drank NyQuil, hoping to rid myself of the mild cold that had appeared. Then I awoke at three in the morning, sounding like I was barking like a dog, and not coughing. I was wearing my shorts and a tanktop, and sweating horribly. I had spent the night pulling the covers over my body, having bad chills, and then throwing them off when I started to sweat.

My hair was sticking to the back of my sweaty neck now and was a curled mess. The flannel pants covering my legs, made them feel like they were on fire and I just wanted to rip all of my clothes off and jump into a bath of ice.

I threw the covers off my blazing body and sat up.

" Fuck it's hot." I blurted, not using my filter.

My mother literally gasped " Isabella! What are you speaking? Do you have no manners?"

" I'm sorry but it's so hot in here. Please turn on the Air Conditioning!" I rasped, my throat burning from my talking

She stared at me strangely " Sweetheart, you must of put it on last night. The house is at fifty seven degree's. It's freezing cold and the window is open!"

My mothers hand went to my forehead " Isabella, you are burning up."

I laid back in my bed, my legs were burning, as if they were dropped in hot, boiling water. Without much thought I took my pants off and threw them across the room. She stared at me as if I had two heads.

" It's hot in here."

----

I shiver ran through my body. My spine chilling to the bone. A cold breeze wafted through my bedroom and I grabbed for the blankets.

" Holy jesus, it's so freezing!" I said, just waking up from a restless nap.

" I'm getting Carlisle over here to give you some medicine, this is not normal. One minute you are blazing hot and the next your freezing and have uncontrolable chills. You have a fever, your coughing horribly and have a headache. What about muscle pains?" my mother said hurriedly.

" My body aches." I complained, tightening my blanket around my shaking body.

She kissed my temple " I'll call him and have your father get you some hot tea for your throat."

My bedroom door closed and I shook against the mattress, trying to take deep breaths and stop. About five minutes later my dad came up with a steaming cup of hot tea. He sat next to me and held my hand, trying to soothe me.

" I feel like I'm dying, but I'm not." I said, my voice cracking.

" No talking." he stated sternly " We want you to get better, and I don't want you to make it worse by irritating it."

I nodded and closed my eyes, burrowing my face into the heap of blankets, my body shaking like a leaf in Autumn. I tried my hardest to fall asleep and my dad encouranged me to. My eyes shut tightly, but my body couldn't relax.

I shifted around, turning on my side. He rubbing my trembling back gently.

" Just try to sleep, honey."

Finally I felt my body shut down, and I succumbed into darkness.

----

" Has she told you what hurt?"

" Yes. She said her throat felt like she swallowed nails and she kept getting really hot and then freezing cold. She had been having the chills really badly. Her muscles were aching and she felt nauseous, there is a fever, stuffed up nose and her cough is a disaster." my mother explained.

I heard Carlisle's sigh next to me " Well it sounds like she has a flu. I can prescribe her meds and hopefully try to get her better soon. I just hope she gets better soon, I can hear her moaning in her sleep. Which she always did when she was sick."

" Okay." he continued " Make her take these every six hours. If she is sleeping, it's best to wake her up because the longer the virus stays, the worse it will become and it's possible for her to get Pneumonia. If she gets warm, do not open the windows because the chilled air will make it worse obviously. Just give her some ice water or have her take a cool bath."

There was shaking of a bottle.

" Well, I can take work off tomorrow. Wait! I have a very important client coming in tomorrow. Charlie?"

" Chief Police, Renee."

A long sigh filled the room.

" I can have, Edward here... But."

" She's sick, it's not like she can talk to him. I told her to not talk." Charlie grumbled.

_NO!_

I wanted to scream it so loud, but I couldn't for two reasons: One, I was instructed not to and two: I was physically incapable. When I tried to talk to my mother my voice came out as a squeak, high pitched, but scratchy sounding.

Edward would probably take that chance to say whatever he wanted, knowing that I couldn't interrupt him. He was the kind that liked to be the leader of conversations. Of important ones that is.

I would just pretend to sleep as much as I could. No music could cover up his talking, because it would hurt my poor brain. Obviously I couldn't get up and slap him because my arms and legs were aching and I felt weak.

" I will talk to him tonight, and have him here in the morning bright and early at eight."

I internally groaned.

EPOV

I sat on my small lounger, laptop open, and was going through the various e-mails I had aquired over the last few days. When I looked over to see it Bella was in her bedroom, I only saw her curtains, that were tightly shut, but the window was open.

Was she crazy?

I scolded myself for that thought. If anyone had been crazy, then it would be me. We haven't talked in awhile after my outburst at her house. It was uncalled for how I acted, and how drunk off my ass I was doing it.

Out of all the people I could yell at in my anger, I had to go to Bella. After all the little fights we have had, that I had mostly started. I had to make it worse and now she was avoiding me. I had gotten her a tennis bracelet, which I bought awhile back. I saw it and thought of her.

I still had no idea why I acted the way I did towards her, I guess I just needed to let out steam. And I let it out on the wrong person.

Bella had always been my best friend, and she had never yelled at me or lashed out, always treated me with respect. She had helped me when I needed help and has been the best friend I could as for. And gave me advice when I needed it. In return, I get drunk and yell at her.

My father had basically shoved me into my room that night. Yelling at me for how stupid and horrible I was to her. He said that he was immensly dissapointed in me, and that he never raised me to act like a spoiled brat who flaunted what he had. He said that I should be lucky to have Bella as a friend, even after everything that has gone on.

He made me see what a royal ass I was, and I needed that.

My bedroom door opened and I turned my head around, seeing my father enter the room. He sat at the end of my made bed and looked at me.

" Isabella has fallen ill and since Renee and Charlie are tied up with work, as are your mother and I. I had told Charlie that you would take care of her from around eight to seven, until they leave and arrive home."

I pushed my laptop aside " Is she alright?"

" She has been having on and off chills, fever, coughing, stuffed up nose. Basically the common flu, but a tad worse. She had been up all night, being really hot, and then really cold with chills. Renee said when she got home she found that the air was on fifty seven and Isabella's bedroom window had been open because she was so warm. I told them to keep the heat normal because I don't want her to get Pneumonia."

I nodded. " So...What exactly should I do for her."

" If she gets warm, try and convince her to take a cool shower or bath. Do not, by any circumstances let her open windows or put the air on. Every six hours she takes a pill, it's on her desk. Wake her up if she is sleeping to take it, which is why we need you. Keep her drinking tea or water. No soda's or thick drinks. Water is best because it's cold. For her chills, just make sure she keeps warm with a blanket. Also make sure she doesn't talk much."

" What time should I go over?"

" Around seven thirty, eight o'clock."

" Alright, that's fine."

He smiled " Thank you son...And please don't take advantage of her lack of speaking and just ramble. When she wants to talk, then you can."

" I understand."

----

BPOV

My mother opened my bedroom door, seeing the covers thrown off of me she sighed.

" We are leaving for work and Edward is downstairs getting you some water. Be nice."

I glared at her and she shut the door softly with a chuckle. My eyes drooped out of exhaustion. This hot and cold shit was annoying. At some point I locked my door for awhile and slept buck naked because of being so warm. Then twenty minutes later I was freezing and all but threw my clothes on.

Now I lay in underwear and a tanktop, which probably wasn't that appropriate when Edward was going to be in here, but I didn't care about him. I was blazing and I would refuse to take a cold bath. If I stepped in I would probably freeze and then want some fleece pants and a sweatshirt, only to get warm and then repeat the cycle.

About a minute later my father appeared, glaring at my attire.

" Is this neccessary?"

I nodded.

He kissed my forehead, his mustache scraping my skin. " If anything happens just text your moms phone, or call if you can. Carlisle already talked to him, Bells, so everything should be fine. Let him take care of you."

My dad left the room and closed the door. I leaned against the headboard and begged for Edward to come soon with that water. I was never one to like people taking care of me, but Edward was going to be my slave now.

The door handle went downwards and I saw him hesitantly open the door. Purple bruises still were under his eyes, but they were more prominant. He probably didn't get much sleep. Normally he was a night owl, and getting up for school was even worse. I felt a little bad that he got roped into taking care of me now.

That thought flew out the window when I saw the water. I reached for it and he handed it to me with a small laugh. I drank it quickly, the coldness soothing my burning throat. He looked at my current clothing and raised and eye-brow.

" Hot." I elaborated, my throat raspy.

He nodded and sat on the cot, wiping a hand across his tired face.

" So...Do I just sit here and watch you?" he asked.

I shrugged.

" Well, this is pretty easy."

-----

EPOV

She was hot, then cold, hot, cold, hot, cold.

And now, she was cold and was having the chills. My heart clenched hearing her teeth chatter. I had gotten her tea to held warm her, and wrapped afghan's around her small frame, she just couldn't stop shaking.

Her muscles hurt from what my father said, but with every hard shutter, she would make a weird moaning and groaning noise. I sat beside her, trying to get her to sleep and put her out of her misery for awhile. I had already given her a pill. Charlie and Renee had given her one at six this morning, and it was now one thirty.

Bella hadn't gotten hungry at all, but I had attempted to get her to eat apple sauce, knowing that she hated it. She said it reminded her of baby food, and she was not a baby.

Finally I had gotten her to sleep and laid on my warm, familar cot. I wrapped myself in the blue blanket and decided to take a nap with Bella.

-

I awoke to see Bella standing on wobbly legs, she was attempting to open the window but I had gotten up quickly and pulled her away.

" No, Bella." I said, feeling like I was scolding a dog " Look, I hate telling you what to do. But do you want to get more sick and die. I don't think so. Now either lay your ass down, or take a cool bath or something. Want some more water?"

" Not a child." she rasped, her voice cracking.

" Eh eh eh, no talking."

She glared at me and I forced her onto the bed. Her arms crossed over her chest, and she pouted like a little child who couldn't get their way. I grabbed her glass and went to the bathroom to pour her some cold water. I gave it back to her greedy hands and she drank it quickly. I got more, but let it sit on the table.

" Look, Iz. I just want you to get better, okay? I can't have you sick, I need you."

Her head turned to the side, and she ignored me.

" I'm not going to sit here and just keep talking just to force you to listen. Can I just say one thing?"

She held up her pointer finger, telling me silently that it was just one thing.

I nodded " Yeah...I just want to say that I am really sorry, and I know it doesn't fix anything, but I am. That's it."

No glares, or raspy words, but silence.

Around six thirty Renee was home and I was off duty. I have her the pill at six and left when her mother got home. I said a goodbye to her and told her that I would see her tomorrow, she just kept quiet. I kissed her temple and was off.

-------

Next Day

January 7th

-------

Four hours of sleep.

That was all I got and I had to just think of Bella's shaking form to get me out of bed. I showered and just dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. At around seven thirty there was a call on the house phone, which Carlisle answered.

" Maybe we should take her to the hospital... Yeah... Okay, I'll be right over."

I stood up from my spot at the kitchen table " What's wrong?"

" Renee said that she can't talk at all and that she has been shaking since three this morning and she can't stop, nothing can keep her warm. I think we should take her to the hospital, it may be more serious then we think."

I basically sprinted to the house. Panic flooding my body. I felt like I needed to do something. I was her friend, that was what I am supposed to be here for. Bella had always been there for me and now I needed to be there for her.

When I got upstairs to her bedroom both Charlie and Renee were on both sides of her shaking form. The sight, just as it did yesterday, broke my fucking heart. There were about four blankets covering her body and Renee was using her hands to rub up and down Bella's arms.

My mother fled to her side, trying to help as Carlisle attempted to talk to her. Warm...

Well I was warm.

Slowly I walked over to Bella's side, slightly moving my mother out of the way. Bella's eyes were slightly open, and her teeth were chattering loudly. I sat down on the side of the bed and reached my arms out to grab her.

She felt so weak and fragile in my arms. I dragged her tiny body over mine and everyone stared at me.

" Edward, what are you doing?"

" She's an icebox and I am warm."

" Son, you could get sick along with her." my father informed me.

I looked down at her " I'd rather I sick then her."

I grabbed the blankets and wrapped them around her, along with my arms. Her little hands were cold and I moved them to rest on my stomach, under my shirt. She didn't try to move, she wanted to get closer to get warm.

She burrowed her face by my neck, head facing down, like the night we slept in my bed after the party. I tucked the blankets up to her neck, rubbing her back to try and help her get more warm. After a minute or so she wrapped her arms fully around my middle. Her sock covered feet pressed against my ankles. Her tiny feet were just as cold as her hands.

Her uncontrolable trembling slowly started to ease after minutes passed.

" Is it helping?" Renee asked.

" Her shaking is calming down." I said quietly.

My parents sighed in usion " Well maybe if Edward stays with her maybe it will help her." my mother suggested.

" Don't get too comfortable." Charlie grumbled.

_What is with him and thinking Bella and I are not just friends?_

My father patted his back " Edward is a smart man. He wouldn't do anything inappropriate with, Isabella. Knowing him, he would of already done it." my father stated with a chuckle.

I glared at him and looked down at Bella. Her body was still and her breathing was even, finally asleep. I ran a hand over her hair, trying to smooth down the tangled mess. Renee reached over and touched her arm under the covers.

" It's getting better, and she doesn't look so pale." she noted.

" Do you think you can stay with her and keep her... warm?"

" I guess so. Just get me something to drink and I should be alright."

Renee retrieved me a glass of coke and then they all wished us a goodbye, saying that if we needed them to call. Bella was still passed out me, sleeping soudly. No noises of pain or discomfort. Luckily, the shaking had completely stopped and she looked a little more lively. I was glad that I could be the person to help her, I just needed her to get better.

She stayed completely asleep, until I had to wake her at twelve to give her the medicine. I gently sat up, leaning against the headboard, and ran my hand up and down her arm.

" Wake up, Bella." I said quietly.

Slowly she started to move around until she stretched once and opened her eyes.

" I'm sorry to wake you, but I need you to take your medicine."

I helped her sit up in my lap and handed her the icewater that Renee had gotten before she left. She drank down the pill with a few sips of water and laid right back down, her head on my chest. I moved the glass to the table and looked down at her.

" Do you want something for your throat? I can make you some chicken soup." I suggested

She shook her head.

" How about I warm up some chicken broth and throw in some celery and carrots. No chicken."

With a small nod, I carefully moved her off my chest and tucked her in bed.

" I'll be back in a little while." I whispered gently to her.

---

I simmered some broth on the stove and tossed in the celery and carrots. Luckily they had all that I needed so there was no issue there. I put a little salt and pepper into the meal and sat at the table to let it go for fifteen minutes or so.

Bella was quiet upstairs, so I figured she hadn't gotten up. I was really surprised at how soundly she slept in my arms. We had gotten the cot because I for some odd reason, enjoy to cuddle, and I don't just mean 'cuddle', that's a little loosely. I like to literally crush to person as close to me as I can.

When we were fifteen Bella got sick of it, so we got a cot for her bedroom so that I wouldn't bug her. Now a pillow became my best friend. I mean, it's not like I can help it. Bella is nice and warm and hey, who doesn't like warm. She is my best friend, and it may sound a little off, but it's just...nice.

Obviously I have never slept at Tanya's house, but when we are in her bedroom, or somewhere alone, she is always wanting sex, which is something I am not willing to give her anytime soon. It was awkward, and just strange.

It wasn't at all what I thought it would be with my first time. I am not going to act like a girl and say that I wanted to feel the 'sparks'. What I wanted to feel was an emotional connection. With Tanya, I just felt detached.

I liked it better when it was just kissing, nothing below the waist. Tanya is a sweet girl, but she is rough around the edges and being with her in an intimate way doesn't feel right to me. Which makes me second guess the relationship. I don't want her to break up with me. I'm not in love with her, but I'm leading to it. Maybe then it would feel like more.

When I'm with Bella though, it's different. It's a little easier to laugh and have fun with Bella, because she doesn't expect anything from me. Maybe common sense things, like respect, but nothing expectation wise. She's just my best friend, it's easy with her.

I remember when we were like thirteen, and I had asked her if she was curious about kissing me. That was when we shared our first kiss with one another. It was just an innocent chaste kiss. That wasn't awkward at the end. I remember kissing her on the cheek afterwards and running in the house for dinner.

I stood up and stirred the soup with a wooden spoon. Both the vegetables were soft so I turned the heat off and poured the steaming broth in a bowl. I put the pot in the dishwasher and headed upstairs. When I opened her bedroom door I could see her shaking again.

Quickly, I walked to her and put the soup down. I reached for her and burrowed her tiny body into my larger one. I kept the blankets wrapped tight around her, trying to stop the shaking.

I smoothed down her hair and kissed the top of my head " I'm sorry, Bella." I whispered.

Trying not to make the blankets fall, I sat her up against me and grabbed the soup. I set it on my lap and put the spoon in. Her hands were all shaky and there was no way she could do it herself. I blew the broth on the spoon and brought it to her mouth. She opened and I slid it in.

" Is it okay?" I asked whilst blowing on more of the broth on the spoon.

She nodded and opened again. I slid the spoon in her mouth and she drank it slowly, letting the warmth spread in her throat. I fed her the whole entire bowl, filling up her stomach with the liquid and vegetables. Once everything in the bowl was gone she just curled right up against me and fell asleep within minutes.

I heard my cell ringing and quickly grabbed it, seeing it was Jasper.

" Hey, man. The girls and Tanya are coming over so we are chillin at my place with some video games and junk food. Bring, Bells."

" I would enjoy that. But, Iz is really sick right now, and since Charlie and Renee have to work I said that I would take care of her."

" That bad?" he asked.

" Yeah. Can't talk and has these horrible chills. Couldn't stop shaking when I got there this morning. They were trying to calm her down but I finally got her warm, now she is just sleeping away."

" How'd you get her warm?" he asked in a hushed voice.

Smart guy "Dude, just promise you won't pass this on. Everyone will make it seem like more then it is."

" I know, just tell me."

" It's not a big deal, but I just let her lay next to me."

He huffed " Right, I bet that's downplaying it."

" Okay, so she is fucking passed out with her head on my chest. But seriously, I left to make her soup and I come back and she is shaking like a leaf. I'm really worried about her I just hope that if she is warm long enough then maybe she can get better. I've been giving her meds every six hours."

Jasper chuckled briefly. " Alright, dude. Just don't take advantage."

" Oh shut up."

" Bye, Ed."

" Do-"

_click_

I hung my phone up and threw it on the desk.

---

At around six, she was still asleep, and I was dying to go to sleep. I had given her the medicine, and she fell right back asleep like she did before. By six thirty Renee and Charlie weren't home. I knew this bed was so freaking small, but I needed to sleep and Bella needed me.

By seven, they still weren't home. I rested my head ontop of hers and shifted my legs to lay on both sides of her. I brought the blanket up to cover me more, and kept my arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Her head was tucked into my side and she was breathing deeply.

I let my eyes droop on there own accord and drifted off to sleep.

---

"It's a shame to wake them. Edward hasn't been sleeping well."

I stretched out, my arms above my head, only to knock my knuckles against the wood. I let out a loud groan and tried twisting around, only to have a limp, sleeping Bella turn over and fall straight onto the wood flooring.

There was a loud gasp from Renee and Bella's eyes shot open.

"Ow tha- aiiii."

Her voice was jacked up. She attempted to talk, only to have her voice go haywire and all high-pitched and screamish like. The room was dark, but Charlie reached out to turn on a lamp. I quickly got out of the bed, tripping along the way with the blankets twisted around my body.

I knelt next to Bella and hooked my left arm behind her knee's and the other one holding her back. Swiftly, I lifted her up and laid her back down, she rubbed the back of her head, wincing.

" I am so sorry, Bella. Oh my god, are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded her head and tried to sit up, seeing her struggle to get her strength. A shiver ran through her body and she covered up with the blankets. It hadn't been two minutes and she was already so freaking cold without me.

" Here, sweetie. Carlisle gave us a different medicine to see if it would work better then the other. So take this."

Bella examined the white pill and reached out with shaky hands to grab it. She got a cup and brought it to her lips, her lips templed, but she didn't spill any water. When she finished Charlie took the cup from her and she tightened her eyes shut.

Slowly she reached out for me with a pale hand. She was a little paler then her normal deathly pale self, but she wasn't grey like she was when I saw her this morning. I gripped her cold hand and gave her a small smile.

" How about a bath?"

She shook her head and pulled my hand closer. I sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard next to her. Without hesitance she put her arms around me and moved her head towards my neck, her cold nose pressing against the side of my neck.

Renee stared at her, an odd expression on her face. Charlie just patted Bella's arm and left the room.

" Are you alright, Renee. Do you need something?" I asked.

She shook her head " No...No I need nothing. You just keep her warm, okay? I will be down the hall if you need me."

I nodded and draped an afghan over Bella. Her hands snuck under my shirt and I jumped about a foot in the air.

" Shit, girl, Can you warm them up just a tad before putting them under my shirt?"

A raspy laugh sounded and she shook her head.

She yawned loudly and cleared her throat before closing her eyes. I watched her sleep for awhile, tracing invisible lines on her arm. She was only wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a tanktop. When she started to shake in her sleep I unbuttoned my shirt and got her floppy arms through it. I wrapped the blankets tight around her body and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the breaking of dawn.

-----

BPOV

Horrible.

That is how I have been feeling these past few days. Like my throat had been cut up like a Thanksgiving Turkey. My nose was clogged up and my head was pounding. It didn't help that Edward had promptly dropped me on the floor. He apologized and picked me up though..

The luxury of the past day or so. Was laying in his arms. It made me warm, and I wanted to crawl inside his body and live there for the rest of my life. It was strange to think, but I couldn't get enough of his arms around me.

He fed me soup and water, also helping me stand when I needed to use to restroom. My legs were a little wobbly, but they were getting better. I didn't exactly know what I had, I just didn't want to get it again.

I had gotten new medicine last night and I was woken at midnight by my parents, and at six by Edward to take it. Luckily, it was working alot better then the other stuff. In the morning I had awoke, completely smashed against Edward and I was wearing his shirt.

How had I not noticed that? I threw Edward's arms off of me, and trudged drunkenly down the stairs. As I was going into the kitchen, I saw the clock. It said that it was eleven twenty. I ran a hand over my face and yawned.

Just then the doorbell rang. I walked over the the front door, unlocking it and opened it. Alice and Rose blew past me and stood in the foyer.

" Come on in." I mumbled, closing the door softly not to irriate my headache further.

" We haven't heard from you in awhile, and Edward has dissapeared. Then we come here and your wearing his shirt?" Rose said, glaring at me.

" Well sorry that I got sick. My parents are tied up at work and Edward volunteered to watch me." I said my voice cracking. Atleast I could talk a bit

" Oh, he's watching you. Tell me, Bella, how could you have sex with him while he is dating Alice and I's best friend."

_Alice and I's best friend._

" Your's and Alice's. So what am I, just Edward's buddy?"

Rose scoffed

" Stop being such a royal bitch, Rosalie. Get the huge stick out of your ass and get over yourself, then come talk to me. Edward and I are _friends _and ovbiously you don't understand that he and I are close. I don't give a damn if he's dating your best friend. Edward is my best friend, and we will always be that way."

I let out a loud cough, sounding like a barking dog. Alice stayed silent, for she said nothing.

" Rosalie, Bella is my best friend, but Tanya is my friend, too. I told you that Bella and Edward are nothing more... Just let her be." Alice said quietly. " Edward volunteered to help her, which is something friends do."

She rolled her eyes " Whatever. I'm out of here."

Rosalie walked out the front door and Alice handed me a panera bread bag " I got you some soup... I'll try to talk to her, but you are my best friend, Iz. You always will be. Now get better, I hope to see you at school."

I nodded and she followed Rose out the front door. I slammed it and locked the deadbolt. Now I had to deal with her on my back now. God help me.

I took the bag into the kitchen and took out the items. There was no bread bowl, which I was glad for because I didn't like how the bread soaked up all the broth. But there was a peice of sour dough bread for dipping. I took the top off the steaming Chicken Noddle soup and shook pepper into it.

" Hey," I heard from the kitchen doorway.

" Hi," I greeted timidly.

We still hadn't actually talked about what happened. And I knew, that he knew, I was avoiding the conversation a little. I didn't want to talk to him about it yet.

I smiled shyly and ate the soup. Once I was finished I threw out the plastic and paper and drowned a glass of water. Edward gave me my pill and I took it before trudging back upstairs to my. He followed me and sat down on the cot once reaching the room. I pointed to the bathroom.

" Shower."

" No more chills?" he asked.

" A little. But a shower should warm me up a little, too." I said, my voice still cracking as I spoke.

He nooded and I made my way into the bathroom. My clothes felt all gross on my body, and my hair was greasy. I felt bad that Edward had to hold me, but mostly embarassed. He was holding me, whilst I hadn't showered or washed my hair.

I scrubbed my hair with shampoo twice, as well as my body. I shaved every tiny stubble of hair on my legs and stood in the hot water for a moment. The hot steam loosened up my stuffed nose and I could finally breath. Though my throat was still burning and aching, along with my muscles.

I stepped out of the shower with slightly wobby legs and dried off as quick as possible. I slipped on my robe and unlocked the door, as I was opening it nausea waved over me. I covered my mouth and ran to the toliet. I bent down and proceeded to vomit in the toliet.

At some point Edward had rushed in and held my damp hair back. As I coughed more and more came out, and that soup looked alot better going in, then coming out. He rubbed my back soothingly and stayed with me the whole time.

He was a good friend. But I knew eventually we had to talk about what happened.

**Authors Note- So, my Birthday is this weekend, and I am thinking reviews would be a great gift. But only review if you wish. Have a great weekend guys.**


	13. Love!

**Authors Note- I have no excuse for not updating Tuesday. I was tired, and unfocused so I really couldn't go over it without failing and missing all the mistakes. I am really sorry, just believe that. But look how early it is! I mean, some may live in different states, but it's only a few hours, and this is EARLY, for me. And I have a song!**

**This is How a Heart Breaks by: Rob Thoma**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

----

January 10th

Tuesday

2006

----

BPOV

" World War 1. It was a military conflict that lasted from 1914 to 1918 and involved most of the world's great powers. Assembled in two opposing alliances. More then seventy million military personnel, including sixty million Europeans, were mobilised in one of the largest worlds in history. More then fifteen million people were killed. Effectively making it one of the dealiest conflicts in history."

I listened as the teacher went on and on about World War 1. While an eager Jasper listened from his seat next to me, I didn't really pay attention. I just wanted to go to lunch at the moment, I was getting sick of school and it only started back up yesterday.

When class was over I went to lunch, spending the entire period eating an apple with a bottle of lemonade. Twirling the cap with my fingers. Once the lunch period was over I walked off to Biology, taking my seat next to a smiling Edward.

I ignored his creepy smile during class, but I was even more suspicious when he was following me to gym. Finally I stopped outside of the door and glared at him. He stared back at me, a strange look in his eyes.

" Why are you following me?"

" This is my last class."

" No, that's History."

" The class was getting full, and I couldn't go into another History class so I did a little switching of my schedule so now I have Algebra, then History, English Lit., Italian, Lunch, Biology and Gym. So now I can see you and your clumsiness."

I glared at him a moment before walking into the gym, and to the girls locker room. We hadn't exactly talked much after I had gotten over my illness. He just ignored it all and I did the same.

I dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. We were doing Volleyball, and I knew that it wasn't going to be pretty.

When I walked out there were two nets, and there were four teams. Unfortunetly Edward was on the opposite net on the left, across from me. I was on the right and paired up with Jessica Stanley, a random girl and some guy named Brett.

Tanya was on Edward's team with the other net, and she and him were talking and laughing with eachother. When the ball was passed to me, Jessica looked at me warily. I threw it up in the air and put my hands together. I popped it in the air and closed my eyes. Luckily, I hit nobody.

I watched Tanya and Edward flirt with eachother shamelessly. Fuck I wanted to hit her so badly, but I couldn't.

" Bella!" the Brett kid shouted.

I snapped my gaze from the happy couple and saw the ball coming towards me. I slapped my hand against it, way to hard then I intended. My hand was burning and I heard a loud _smack _followed by an ' Oh, shit that hurt '. My eyes shot open and I saw Edward laying flat on the ground, his hand on his head.

I didn't realize I was that angry...

Quickly I scrambled away from my spot and sprinted towards him. Tanya was glaring at me as I knelt beside him worriedly.

" Oh my god, Edward. Are you okay?"

" You can really hit can't you."

I laughed " Yeah. Look, I am really sorry."

I stood up and gave him my hand. Fireworks shooting up my arm as he held my hand. I helped pull his two hundred pound frame up and let his hand go. As I was walking away he grabbed my hand.

I turned around and looked at him " Yeah?"

" We should talk today. After school?"

" O-Of co-course." I stuttered.

Without warning, he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I could almost hear Tanya huffing in anger. A loud wolf whistle sounded and a familar voice of Tyler yelled.

" Score, Cullen!"

I rolled my eyes and blushed before pulling away and heading to the locker room. When I walked in I was startled by someone pushing me against the lockers. The lock dug into the side of my arm. That would be a bruise.

Tanya let me go and glared at me "What the fuck, Swan? You realize thats my boyfriend. Not yours."

" He hugged me. Don't be so jealous, it's not attractive."

She pushed me once again into the lockers, harder this time.

" Hey, let her go." A small, but stern voice said.

Over Tanya's shoulder I saw Jessica Stanley.

" The whole school knows they are best friends. Stop being a bitch because he hugged her."

She let me go and looked over at Jessica " What's it to you, emo freak. Why don't you go crawl into your coffin and stay there." she spat before walking away.

Jessica was about to leave but I said her name.

" What?"

I sighed " Thank you. Your the only one who has ever stuck up for me."

She nodded her head once before leaving. I opened up my locker, wincing at the pain in my arm. There was a cirucular purple, blueish spot forming already. The sharp part of metal had cut the skin and it was bleeding slightly. I sighed and quickly dressed in my previous clothes.

I stopped at my locker and grabbed my jacket. I slipped it on and buttoned it up before heading out to Edward's Volvo. As I was walking down the cement steps I saw Carmen. She started coming towards me so I walked faster.

Instead, she walked faster and pushed me into a tree.

_What is with these bitches and pushing me up against things?_

" Stay the fuck away from him, Swan. Or I swear I will mess you up."

I gave her a once-over " Your don't intimidate me. You don't even scare me. Back the fuck off, or I will tell Edward exactly how she treats me. And who do you think he will believe?"

She backed off and I left, gripping my bag and heading towards his car. He was leaning against the drivers side, a smirk on his face. His face fell slightly seeing my expression.

" What happened?"

" Nothing."

I got into the car and slammed the door, putting on my seatbelt. He got in, starting up the car and drove towards home.

" You've gotta learn to start talking to me, Isabella."

---

I threw my jacket down onto my bed, which was at an awkward angle across the room. I had planned to paint it sometime this week so I had been moving stuff and putting down tarps and taping around the wooden frames. I already had the dark purple paint, I just had to start painting.

Edward looked around the room, probably noting that the cot had magically dissapeared.

" Where's my cot?" he asked " You weren't that pissed where you?"

I shook my head "No. I got a bigger bed. Therefore it can't fit in here anymore."

" No more sleepovers?"

I shrugged " Don't know."

He sat down on my messy bed and sighed. When he looked back at me, his gaze was on my arm. Quickly he stood and strode to me, grabbing my arm. There was blood running down the gash and bruise. I jerked my arm away.

" Bella, what happened?" he demanded.

" Nothing. I tripped into the lockers." I mumbled going into the bathroom. I grabbed a cloth and wet it, wiping off the blood as best as I could.

" Truth." he stated.

" It was nothing. Carmen and Lauren did it. No big deal, barely hurts." I lied. It was Tanya who did it, but I couldn't tell him that.

" Why the fuck would they do this."

I sighed " What do you think, Edward. They don't like me, or my relationship with you."

" Jesus, Bella. I'll tell Tanya to make them stop. I bet she doesn't even know."

_She was the one who did it!_

I put a bandaid over the wound and went back into my bedroom. We both sat on my bed awkwardly, just waiting for the other to start saying something. I didn't know how to start up this conversation, but I fully expected Edward to start it because I had no idea what to say to him at this time.

" First. I really want to apologize for what happened. Second, the anger I took out on you, was not meant to be taken out on your, or anyone. And thirdly, I had no right to talk to you the way I did."

I nodded " Yeah, your right. And my life isn't perfect, Edward."

He frowned at me.

"And drinking was supid. It's just.. All my friends do it and they expect me to, just like smoking. I don't want to look lame or stupid."

I laughed and shook my head, standing up. " Why do you drink and smoke?"

" Because my friends do."

" Exactly! And do you want to be like your friends all the time. The first thing you told me when you started the team was ' I will always be the same Edward, I won't let it get to my head or take over who I am '. That's the guy I want back. The one who stayed with me when I was sick, and the one who was always my best friend. Who didn't ditch me for someone else or acted like a stuck up jerk. Now I just feel like you don't need me anymore. Your got your jock friends, a perfect girlfriend and everything that you have ever needed. It's right infront of you, and I am just cast aside, like a toy you pick up every once in awhile when you remember it."

He fiddled with his hands before running them over his face.

" I deserved that." he started " I'm incredibly sorry that it has gotten to the point of where you view me different. I guess it is stupid, the reason why I drink and smoke. But at the end of the day. I am still Edward, not a stuck up jerk. But I still need you Bella. Your the one part of me that reminds me of who I really am. Around my friends I can't be who I really am. They don't know that I used to cry when watching the Titanic. If I acted who I was, they would think I was just a weak, spineless sissy."

I sighed and paced around the room " Well I like you when your a, 'weak, spineless sissy' if that's what you call yourself. Infront of me I see a strong person, who is maybe a little sensitive, but holds alot of love in his heart for people. I see someone who treats their parents with respect, and someone who has value's. Not someone who smokes and gets drunk and acts like they are better then everyone else."

A tear slid down my cheek and he stood up.

" Why are you crying?" he asked.

" I'm crying because I shouldn't have to tell you who you are."

Edward wrapped his arms tightly around my waist " Your so right, Bella. You shouldn't, but sometimes I need to be reminded. I'm so sorry for how I have treated you, you don't deserve that. Fuck, I am such an idiot. I don't even deserve your friendship for gods sake."

He put both arms around my waist and I bent my arms to rest against his biceps. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and sighed.

" You act like an ass half the time. But your my best friend, you will always be my best friend no matter what."

" Your too easy on me."

" What do you want me to say? Edward your a fucking jerk and I hate you? No, that's not what I think of you."

He pulled away from me and turned towards my dresser. Edward grabbed the white box, lifting up the cap and taking out the bracelet. He handed it to me.

" I saw it, and thought of you. Will you wear it, please?"

Slowly, I held up my wrist and let him clasp it. I smiled and admired it on my wrist, the emerald stones sparking in the light along with the pretty diamonds.

" This must of been really expensive." I noted.

" Nothing is too expensive for you."

I smiled " Edward, this bracelet is worth more then I am." I chuckled, fingering it nervously.

His eyes and expression were then very serious when he looked at me.

" Bella, your priceless. Any person should know that."

A blush swept across my features " Thank you for thinking so."

----

March 4th

Saturday

2006

----

Painting.

It had taken me until now to actually go out and buy paint for my bedroom. With school, tests, quiz's, work and friends, I haven't had much time to get around to it. My parents were pests when it came to complaining about the mattress, which was still in the living room. Until I got my purple paint, they were quiet.

Rosalie and I haven't spoken very much. She is still a little upset at me about when I was sick. She knew how to hold on to a grudge, oh boy does she. But Alice still talks to me. She thinks that Rose is just acting stupid and is a little confused. I was only going to wait until she came around because I had nothing to apologize for.

Edward and I have been okay the past month. He had promised me that he wouldn't take his anger out on me anymore, and would stop drinking heavily. I didn't want to be acting like his mother, but I didn't want to be around him in that state of drunken-ness.

As I put the cap on the paint can, Edward burst into my room all smiles.

He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up abruptly. I let out a small screech of surprise and he chuckled.

" You have been painting since yesterday. Come on ya, nutter. We are going to the diner."

Edward set me down and I glared at him.

" I am not a nutter. And your paying." I stated, a smile on my face.

" Of course. Now, lets go." he said, opening the bedroom door.

I convinced him to let me get dressed in better clothes and went to the bathroom. I dressed quickly and slipped on my jacket. I walked out of my bedroom, skipping, more like tripping, my way down the stairs. Edward zipped past me, opening the front door and walking to his Volvo.

---

The drive to the diner was short, and when we got a table and ordered drinks, I watched as his eyes scanned the menu. He was sitting next to me, on the left.

_How was he even sexy looking at a menu?_

I realized that I had been shamelessly staring when Edward had looked up from the menu.

" Bella, why are you staring at me like that?" he asked, closing the menu.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and looked down at my own menu. He chuckled.

" You are one strange girl, Isabella Swan."

" Which is why you love me." I said, not taking my eyes off the menu.

When the waitress came back, she made sure to pay extra special attentiont to Edward. Nobody batts their eyelashes that fast naturally. I glared at her as she leaned over the table, giving us a show of her cleavage.

" So, what can I get you?" she purred

Edward smiled polietly at her before speaking " A waitress that doesn't flash her cleavage at me. I would appreciate it if you would take the order and leave us be."

She leaned back abruptly and Edward draped his arm around my waist, scooting closer to me. The girl glared at me with hate-filled eyes. I just smiled at her and rested my head on Edward's shoulder.

" I would like a Garden Burger with a Garlic Roll."

" A medium cooked burger, with sauteed mushrooms, also I want a garlic roll, please."

Quickly she jotted it down and looked once again at us. Edward placed a kiss on my neck, making my heart shatter into tiny little peices knowing that it was all just fake. Since Edward was the major women attractor, he used me, Alice, Rosalie or someone just to ward them off. Unlucky for me, it was mostly I that he used.

Once she left, he released me and I scooted my chair back over. I looked out of the window, drinking my water. People on the sidewalks were hustling through the crowds. A thin sheet of snow covered the ground, and scattered patches of ice.

" You in there? Keep spacing out." Edward said, tapping my arm.

I set my water down and looked at him " Sorry. I just have alot on my mind." I said.

" Don't you always?"

I nodded and gave him a shy smile.

----

Once the waitress delivered our food, I basically devoured it, feeling absolutely starved. I tried to eat slower, not wanting to eat like a pig and embarass myself infront of Edward. Once I finished with my garden burger I munched on the garlic roll slowly.

After Edward finished his lunch we slipped on our coats. Edward grabbed his keys and we walked towards the door. He opened it up for me and I walked through. As we walked towards the car, snow fell into my hair, tangling in my curls.

His car was parked on a curb and I took a step forward closer, not seeing the patch of ice on the ground, and slipped backwards abruptly. Edward made a quick grab for me, only to bring himself down on his bum, while I lay on the ground. Luckily my head didn't hit the pavement hard.

" Whoa, shit, Bella. Your head is bleeding!" Edward shouted, standing up and taking hold of me.

Okay, maybe I did hit it that hard. I winced as I reached to touch the back of my head. When I saw the blood on my hand I started to feel woozy. Edward unlocked the car and reached for a napkin in the glove department. He wiped my hand, knowing that blood made me sick, and ushered me into the car.

" Don't lay your head on the headrest, please?"

Only Edward would worry about his Volvo.

----

Luckily, Carlisle was home when Edward got me into the house. He looked startled when we entered his office but he made me sit on the desk while he got a first aid kit.

" So, what happened this time."

" She slipped on a patch of ice by the Chicago Diner, we were walking to the car. I tried to catch her but she had already hit her head."

He came back and examined my head, brushing some of my hair out of the way. I winced as he touched the tender spot.

" Well, you've got a pretty bad gash here, but it's not deep enough to hurt your skull badly. Maybe just a concussion. But I will clean and stitch you right up, just stay still."

I have had enough stitches to know what it was like. I hated the tugging feel, and I was very sensitive when it came to breaking things, or getting stitches. Edward held my hand as Carlisle cleaned the cut and got to work. He put the bloody gauze in a bowl and when he finished it, he took a match and lit it on fire, letting it flame up and burn out until the gauze was nothing but ashes. He gave me a pill to swallow and I took it easily.

When he helped me stand, I was once again dizzy and literally fell forward into him, stumbling into his side. Carlisle quickly caught me with fast reflex's and stood me straight. My head was pounding uncomfortably and all I could think was; Bed.

" I would like to see how you are in the morning, so I think you should stay here for tonight just in case. I would like to watch over you and if your headache doesn't get better I may want to take an x-ray of your head." he said " Edward, could you take her to your bedroom? I'll have Esme get her clothes."

Edward led my wobbly form to his bedroom and I collapsed on his white cot/couch. He covered me with his fuzzy black and white blanket and kissed my temple.

" Are you okay? You haven't spoken much."

" Why was I born with such ungracefulness?"

He chuckled " I don't know. But Charlie isn't that balanced that well. Remember when he was running downstairs because he was late for his shift and he fell straight on his ass. Or when he tripped over your ballet shoes when you were eight. I could name many more."

" Yeah... He tripped up the stairs this morning."

He laughed once more " See. Your not the only one."

A little while later Esme came in with a pair of pajama's. I lazily slipped into them and she took my other clothes to wash. I thanked her with a hug and laid back down. Edward was laying in bed, a book open and wearing his reading glasses. He wore contacts in school because he didn't want to look like a 'geek' as he put it. I just thought it made him look smart... and incredibly sexy.

I rolled over, facing the glass wall, and closed my eyes. A few minutes later I heard him switch off the lamp and roll over.

" Goodnight, Bella."

" 'Night." I replied

----

I was awoken in the middle of the night. The sky was still dark but I could hear voices beside me. It sounded like both Carlisle and Edward. My head was still pulsing and I begged for it to just go away and let me sleep.

" Isabella, the stitches broke open. I need to stitch you back up, darling." Carlisle said as Edward helped me sit up.

A loud yawn escaped me and I sat up. Edward was rubbing something onto my sleeping lounger. I then realized that their was blood on it.

" I am so sorry." I murmured sleepily.

" It's fine. It comes right out. No worries." Edward assured me as I felt the uncomfortable tugging.

Carlisle worked on my head for a good ten minutes, stitching me up well. Edward held my hand for this once again, trying to keep my mind off of what Carlisle was doing. Once he was finished he threw out more bloody gauze and turned towards Edward.

" You should lay a towel over a pillow and let her sleep in the bed. Since the cot has the drying damp spot. Or she could sleep in a guest room or the couch downstairs."

" Um, no. She can sleep in here with me. I'll just get a bath towel."

" Okay. Try and sleep, Bella. If you notice anything again Edward, wake me."

He nodded and Carlisle stepped out of the room, looking sleepy in his pajama's. Edward went into his linen closet and grabbed a grey bath towel. He laid it over his white pillow and motioned for me to lay down. I crawled into his bed and laid my head on the pillow, sinking into the mattress.

" You better not squish me, squisher." I mumbled sleepily.

" Mhm." he murmured, getting back into bed.

I felt the mattress shifting until he stayed still and I could hear his soft snoring. My eyes drifted close once again and I was swept into a deep sleep.

----

EPOV

I heard a loud knock on my bedroom door, awakening me from my slumber. I looked over at Bella, a little lump under my comforter, and saw her sleeping soundly. The towel was still clean, no blood. I shifted around, trying to once again get comfortable.

Then knock sounded again and I groaned.

" What, ma!" I asked, clearly annoyed

Once again, there was a knock. Not wanting to wake up Bella I slumped out of my comfortable bed and opened my bedroom door. I was startled to see Tanya, fully dressed and everything.

" Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, pecking her lips.

She pushed through the door and I looked over at Bella. I knew that Tanya would be pissed the fuck off if she saw Bella in my bed. I ran my hands over my face and smiled.

" I called you, but you didn't answer. I was a little worried." she said, looking around my room.

" Sorry, I was up late last night, couldn't sleep well."

Tanya nodded " Well I figured maybe we could go out today. Alice, Rose and I are going shopping and I need someone carrying my bags."

It wasn't my favorite activity, but I would do anything for her.

" Yeah, sounds great. I'll just shower and we can go."

" Why do you sound nervous?" she asked curiously, scanning my room.

I rolled my eyes " I think your paranoid. I am perfectly fine."

Like her eyes were gravitated to that spot, she glared at Bella who was under my covers. She looked back at me, anger in her eyes.

"What's that?" she asked, obviously trying to stay calm. Her expression spoke otherwise.

" Look, Tanya. Bella and I went to the diner yesterday, and when we were coming back, she slipped on ice before we got to the car. So I took her here and my father said for her to stay because she had a bad gash in her head and he wanted to watch her. She slept on my little cot but in the middle of the night the stitches broke and she started bleeding. So I had to clean the blood off, making the spot damp, and Carlisle stitched her up and said that she should sleep in a bed with a towel over the pillow. I let her sleep with me so I could make sure there would be no more bleeding. Nothing happened, we slept on seperate sides." I explained quickly, trying to calm her.

She was fuming " You slept in the same bed with her?!" she screeched.

" Your going to wake her, can we please talk about this later?"

" No, Edward. Your with me, not her... Why did you let her sleep in your bed. You don't even let us have sex for gods sake, yet you let her sleep in your bed."

Not the sex conversation again...

" Bella and I have always been friends, will always be friends. And nothing more, Tanya. What don't yout get about that?"

She sighed " I just want you to open up to me like you do her, Edward. Your both so close and I want that with you."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her lovingly. I felt really bad, and I just wanted her to feel better. I didn't want her to feel upset about the situation.

" I can't be with Bella like this because I don't have the feelings for her, as I do you." I stated.

She smiled at me and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips " Your so sweet... I love you, Edward."

It was the first time she had actually said it to me, and it made me smile widely " I love you, too."

BPOV

" I can't be with Bella like this because I don't have the feelings for her, as I do you." he stated

" Your so sweet." I heard after a moment " I love you, Edward."

" I love you, too."

This is how it feels when your heart officially breaks... Officially shatters into small peices. Into microscopic peices. I tried, I tried so hard at that moment to not cry, to not burst into huge sobs. As quietly as possible, I lifted myself from his bed and stood up. My head throbbed but I couldn't think about that.

Edward was in actual love with her, something that I had been trying to prevent. He said the words to her, that I wanted to hear from him. I could hear the noisey sounds of their kissing and knew that I had to get out of there. Stat. I grabbed my things from his desk and draped them over my arm.

Once I made it halfway through the room, Edward seemed to notice me, breaking away from Tanya's lips.

" Bella! I didn't see you wake. How's your head?"

I kept my body back to him, not wanting him to see me like this " F-Fine. I got to get home."

" But, Be-"

" I'll see you later."

I darted down the stairs, only to run into a startled Esme who was holding her scrapbook stuff. Pictures skimmed across the floor, as well as glue, picture corners, and the book itself. She grabbed onto the railing not to fall and I stopped moving.

" Esme! I didn't see you. I'm really sorry." I said, running down the rest of the stairs to help her.

She knelt on the floor, looking at me " It's fine. Why in such a rush, dear?"

My breathing caught in my throat " Uh...Um... Tanya is here so I just needed to go." I said quietly.

" Why, do you not like her?" Esme asked timidly.

" No, it's not that. I just figured I'd let them both be."

After helping her clean up all her supplies, managing not to cry, I left the house, rushing out as quickly as I could. When I got to the front door, I unlocked it quickly and walked upstairs. When I got to my bedroom I locked the door, and let myself collapse on the bed with sobs wracking my body.

Would it ever get easier?

**Authors Note- I hated writing EPOV, of him with Tanya. It broke my heart just a tad, but it had to be written, and I promise not to torture you all too badly with it. I hope all of you are enjoying this so far.**

**Also! The impending PROLOGUE question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**I will truthfully tell you reviewers, I am working on chapter 27 of this story right now, and I have yet to get to it. Maybe chapter 29 or 30 alright...Go ahead, groan in pure anger and mentally kill me in your mind painfully, but I can't rush it guys. This story is ****based**** around the fact that Bella has extra feelings for him, so it's going to be a long ride there.**

**Anyways. Review if you'd like. **


	14. A Shopping Expedition With Alice

**Authors Note- Chapter 28 guys is when it happens. I promise, I've already written it, and I also will tell you. I am not dragging things out between them, it wouldn't be fair after all of this whole chain of events and the pushed back prologue. But I won't just rush the whole entire thing. No worries, okay.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

I let the music play loudly, drowning out the sounds of my sobbing. Calming myself wasn't the easiest thing at the moment, and I didn't want to. I felt better getting all of the emotions out, finally able to break down.

My parents never knocked on my door or bothered me. It's not like they knew what was going on with me.

I could hear Edward saying that he loved her in my head, so many times. Over and over, just repeating. He actually loved Tanya, loved her. The kind of love that makes you smile and makes your toes curl with happiness when you see that person. Another choking sob came from my throat and I sat up, wiping the tears.

My heart clenched as I thought of him.

The love he held for her, was the love that I wished from him.

Slowly I rolled out of my bed and trudged into my bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I winced away.

Why am I doing this to myself? I thought, looking at my puffy eyes and wet, red cheeks. I grabbed a hair pin and held it with my teeth as I pushed a side of my hair back. My lips trembled as tears still fell. I grabbed the pin and pushed it into my hair, holding it back.

I splashed water onto my face, and dried it off with a now damp towel.

I knew that if I let myself break apart, that eventually there would be nothing left of me. I had let my feelings for Edward, run my life. He meant so much to me, and I just tried to make him see me a different way.

Should I try harder? Prove to him that I can be beautiful and everything he deserves?

Even I know that I don't deserve him, he is much more then I deserve. But I can't help how attracted to him I am. There is nothing to not be attracted to when I look at him. Yes, he does have flaws. Like being cocky or conceited, also very overprotective. But I liked his flaws, they made him seem not as perfect.

He is sexy as hell, right down to that damn crooked smile that melts me.

I know that I am not gorgeous like Rosalie, or balanced and graceful like Alice. I am nothing special, just an ordinary person walking this world, but something had to be good about me.

I didn't want to sit around in my own self-pity. That would make me look weak, and I wanted to be the exact opposite. I wanted to be strong, sexy, confident and smart. I was one of the four, but I had to work on the other three.

I had always had confidence and self-esteem problems. I've known this forever and seeing Edward with someone so beautiful, just reminds me that I could never be the girl for him. I would never be pretty enough.

But what if I tried. What if I cared more about how I looked and took more time to pick out nice outfits. Alice and Rosalie normally bought me outfits that were already put together. Maybe I should learn to figure it out by myself.

I looked in the mirror. Staring at my pale skin and boring hair and eyes.

" You can be as pretty as her." I said to myself.

I tucked a peice of hair behind my ear and sniffed.

I can do this. How hard can it be?

-----

April 21st

Friday

2006

-----

" You, Isabella Swan, want to willingly go shopping?! You asking me to go shopping with you! Early summer shopping!" Alice screeched as we ran down the cement stairs from school.

" Yes, Alice. Do you have to talk so loudly though?"

She nodded furiously and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the rest of the stairs. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward, Tanya draped over him and kissing him as usual. I ignored it, looking away with an eyeroll.

Ignoring had been a big part when it came to seeing them together. I just tried to ignore it as best as I could. Which was nothing under the ordinary.

Lately Edward has been taking his bike out, driving it out on the streets. And hasn't made a mistake yet. Not that I expected him to...

He said that soon he would take me with him, his exact words on the subject was, 'We'll take it to school, and everyone can stare and be jealous of how hot we look getting off of it'. I had to have a laugh at that one.

As we walked towards the Yellow Porsche, I felt a and rest on my shouler. I stopped walking and turned to see Edward.

" Where are you going?"

I smiled at him as Alice tugged on my arm " Shopping, with Alice."

He looked surprised and I spun around and slipped into Alice's car. She turned on the engine, the purring similar to Edward's Volvo. She turned music on just the lightest and peeled out of the parking lot. I fished my phone out of my pocket and dropped a message to my father.

" So, what's with this sudden want to do shopping?"

" I'm tired of the plain jeans and t-shirts. I have to occasional style but I am getting sick of my clothes. I need a new image and I thought that I needed help. You came to mind." I stated

She smiled widely " Bella, this is going to be so much fun."

I rolled my eyes and watched as the tree's quickly went past us. I really hope it was going to be fun.

----

We stood in the dark-lit store of Holister, going through all the different tops and bottoms. Alice was all bouncy and excited as she looked through the clothes. She would put something against my body and either nod or frown.

She scooped up a skirt and handed it to me " This is really in. It's hand blown-out holes, and the chambray lining with ruffles is so cute! I think light wash is best because you need to stay away from really dark things right now."

I smiled and took the skirt. It was really cute. I kept it in my arms as Alice searched around for a top to match with it. I let her do it, because whatever I picked up, she shook her head and took it from me.

She threw a pink shirt at me, ignoring my scowl at the color " It's not bright, get over it. The knot detailed back is cute, along with the scoop neckline. Go try it on while I look for more stuff."

I saluted her as a joke and went to the changing rooms. As I slipped on the clothes, a smile came to my face. Wow, I actually looked like a girl. Alice tapped on the door and I opened it.

" Oh! Who looks like a girl now?"

" Isabella Swan in Hollister, never thought I would see the day."

Alice sighed " Be nice, Rosalie."

" I wasn't being mean. Look, Edward told me you girls were going shopping, and Tanya and I were going to, but she bailed and here I am."

I shut the changing room door and changed into my other clothes. When I came out I brushed past Rosalie, who followed me and left Alice looking through clothes.

" Look, Bella. I'm really sorry about what happened. And this has gone on for far too long. Your my best friend, too. Not just Tanya... I was just looking out for her because they love eachother and I didn't want anything to change status wise. Friends?"

I sighed " Yes."

----

Alice dragged me to many stores. American Eagle, Aeropostal, Journey and many more. I was sure that I spent alot of money that I had earned these past few months. I still had a dent from when I bought Edward the iPod Touch. But he loved that thing like a child. It was worth buying.

Finally Alice stopped me in a place that was open in the middle of the mall, by the fountain. I shook my head furiously and started to walk away. Rosalie and Alice grabbed me before I left and turned me around.

" Bella, your hair is at your hips and it's just hanging there. It's been long since you've been here, and probably the same when you were living in London." Rosalie argued as Alice chatted with a lady.

She dragged me into a chair and set me down, keeping me down with her hands on my shoulders. My leg bounced nervously as I stared around. I tried to stand up but Alice pushed me down.

" NO!" She said firmly.

A lady, with a nametag that read ' Shelley ', came forward and smiled at me. She had long black hair that was jagged and layered to the fullest. A smile appeared when she saw me.

" Okay, so your friends tell me that you want your hair cut just below your chin."

" Whoa, whoa, whoa. No freaking way. No." I stated firmly as Alice frowned

The hair dresser looked at Alice and then I, frowning in confusion.

" Fine. How about we keep it middle of your back, layered, some bangs. Just crazy and fun to play with." Rosalie suggested.

Shelley looked at me and I nodded in approvement. " Fine."

----

I had put my hair in a loose pony tail, it being a few inchs below where it was going to be cut. She picked my hair up gently, holding sharp shears. I shut my eyes tightly and kissed my hair goodbye. I heard a snip and my head felt lighter. I felt something in my hand and saw it was my hair.

" My hair... Carlisle and Renee are going to kill me."

"Why?"

" Carlisle loved my super long hair, and Renee wanted me to donate."

They chuckled and the lady washed my hair before getting to work and snipping away. She went through my hair with a razor like cutting tool. Dragging it down my hair and uneven peices coming off. Aparently that was layers or something like that.

She cut my bangs a tad shorter and let them flow with the rest of my hair. Alice tried to convince me that highlights would look really good, but my hair dresser, aka savior, told her that it would make my hair look like too much.

Once my hair was finished being cut, she blew it out and curled a few peices. She straightened my bangs, and ran her hands through my hair before taking the tarp off, and turning the chair around.

My hair hit the middle of my back and I had to say, it looked really pretty and more exciting then my longer hair. I ran my hands through it, feeling the silky texture and stood. I paid for the cut and thanked her before grabbing my bags and following the girls to the food court.

I was surprised to see Edward sitting at a table with some of his football buddies. Alice skipped over to Jasper, who was talking awkwardly with the guys, and kissed his cheek. He looked quite relieved to see her. Emmett was being his normal self, cracking jokes and trying to make others laugh.

I had to laugh when I saw Edward wearing his black beanie hat. He loved that fucking thing to death. Slowly I snuck up to him and stole his hat from atop his head. He turned around and saw me, a smile coming to his face.

" And what do you think your doing?" he asked.

I slipped it onto my head and smiled " Nothing. But I think I look cuter in it."

He chuckled " You win, Isabella."

" So, Cullen. Where's your girlfriend?" Tyler asked, shooting me a smile.

" She said that she was getting behind in Chemistry, so she went home."

When has Tanya ever worried about her grades? I brushed off the thought as Edward took his hat back, situating it back onto his crazy bronze mop. He tapped the tip of my nose.

" I win."

I reached for the hat but he slapped my hand away " Eh eh eh."

I glared at him and smacked his hand before stealing one of his fries. He tried to grab it back but I had already shoved it into my mouth, a smile on my face.

" Jeez, Cullen. Got two girls on your arm."

_Phff, I wish, minus the other girl._

" Bella and I are friends." Edward said, now being serious " Shut the fuck up and keep the comments to yourself, Crowley."

He made a motion of backing up and Edward nodded once and handed me the fry basket. I smiled at him and grabbed a fry. I stole sips of his Coke when he wasn't looking, laughing when he turned to look at me suspiciously.

Finally he picked up the cup and set it down before looking at me " You owe me a drink."

I dug into my pocket and produced a five dollar bill. I threw it at him " Get me one, too!"

He shook his head and reached over to ruffle my hair " Renee is going to be pissed. I know Carlisle liked your long hair, when you were little he hated when Renee got you that short chin cut."

I pointed my thumb at Alice and Rosalie, who were otherwise occupied " Their idea."

" I like it." he said before getting up to leave.

" His dad? Why would his dad care? Are you having an affair with him, Bella." Tyler teased with a laugh. All the other guys laughed along with him.

" So fucking immature. No, I am not dating his father you jackass. Our families are really close not that it's any of your buisness."

He made his hand like a claw and waved it in my face. Is he gay?

" Fuck off." I gound out as Edward came back to the table.

" Chill it, Izzy." he said, handing me my drink and a few dimes as the change.

" You'd say the same thing. He asked me if I was having an affair with Carlisle!" I exclaimed.

He spat out his drink on the table, choking on the brown pop that splattered on the table.

" What the fuck guys. Thats discusting." he said, cleaning off the table with a napkin.

" You both have no sense of humor." Tyler said, taking a bit of his hot dog.

" It's not even funny." I grumbled, eating a fry and sipping my drink.

Quickly I pulled back from the drink. It was a discusting mixture of sprite and coke. Which was something Edward probably did on purpose. My face scrunched up and I swallowed regretfully

" What the hell? That's gross."

Edward laughed and gave me the other drink " I like the look on your face."

I flipped him the bird and drank down the regular Coke that he handed me.

He pushed my finger down " Watch that finger and your mouth little miss. Don't want me to tell Charlie of your language."

" I kn-"

" LETS GO!" Alice yelled

" Were already done though."

" Emmett, Jasper, Rose and I really want to go bowling. And you got a ride from me, so lets go."

" Bowling?" I whined " Guys, you know I can't bowl."

Edward cleared his throat " She can stick with me, you guys can go."

Alice and Rose frowned " Alright. We'll drop your bags off at your house for ya."

" You guys really dont have to do tha-"

Alice had already scooped up my many bags and was running out of the food court. I stood up and looked towards her, watching her graceful run between the many tables and chairs.

" ALICE!" I shouted.

She just laughed maniacally and kept running. People's attention was averted to her, but she didn't seem to notice. I sunk back into my chair and sipped the coke. Edward chuckled and draped his arm around the back of the chair, his finger lightly grazing my arm.

Fuck those sparks are just crackling.

Edward continued to talk to his buddies. Talking about girls and strategy for the games. Tyler was talking about his nightly session with Lauren Mallory. Apparently Lauren's parents think that Tyler is a 'bad influence', but if they only knew how many guys she had had sex with. She probably has more STD's then she can count on her fingers.

As the sky got darker and they announced the mall was closing in a half hour, it was time for us to go. Edward said goodbye to his friends and we walked closely together back to the car.

" What were you thinking about so hard when Tyler was talking about Lauren?"

I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that escaped me " She probably has more STD's then she can count."

His jaw dropped and he smacked my arm lightly, smiling a small smile " Isabella Swan."

" What? You know it's true."

" That's really mean. She is Tanya's great friend."

" Come on, Edward. You know it is."

He rolled his eyes " Just don't have sex with Tyler."

" Ew that's gross. I would never lose it to him."

"Who will you lose it to? I mean you had one little closet adventure with Mike Newton, but it's not like anything happen. And you avoid any guy at all costs."

I stared at him " Are you seriously asking me that. Since when have you been intested in when the Virgin status will change... Or has changed."

" No, that's just... Bella, promise me that you won't lose it to some highschool guy."

" Just because you didn't have the best experiance, doesn't mean it would be the same for me."

" I can't even picture you.. Just no."

" Are you picturing me having sex. Gross, Edward. What would your parents think."

He cringed " Promise me you won't date until your thirty."

I shook my head " Edward, I want a husband and kids by the time I am thirty."

_I want kids with you. Beautiful little Edward's._

" Yeah, if I approve of the guy."

" I will marry who I wish, and I will have lots of kids with him."

He snorted " When I have my son first, I can get the name."

" NO!" I shouted " Not fair. I wanted that name for my first boy."

" We'll see who has a boy first."

" Maybe you should re-name yourself. After all, your name is Greek, not british."

" Well yours is Italian."

I shrugged " Whatevers. Let's get home."

" Oh, we are riding to school on my bike on Monday."

I scoffed " Edward, your Schwinn Stringray bike is way to small for both of us to fit on it."

He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm " You and your sarcasticness. If you keep acting like that then you will have to walk."

" Yes, sir."

We got into the car and Edward started the car up. I heard the familar click as I got my seatbelt on. Edward shot me a smile before pulling out of the big parking lot and getting in the highway back home.

He ran a hand through his hair and rested it on the console " So, since we were speaking of guys, James has been telling people that you two are dating."

I sighed and shook my head " Awhile back when I was working a shift he greeted me. I just ran away in embarassment." I stated " I am not dating him. Nor will I ever. He's a nice guy but he is not in my plans."

" What kind of plans?"

" Graduating, going to college, getting a job. And maybe a guy inbetween that. I don't want some silly highschool relationship that I know wont last. Why go through the heartbreak. It's highschool."

The look on his face made me scan over my words.

Him and Tanya.

Highschool Relationship.

I hated her, but I had to fix it.

" Edward, I didn't mean it like that. I meant it for me, not you. You an-"

" No need to elaborate, Bella. It's okay."

I nodded and leaned back in the leather seat, slapping my forehead. What an idiot I am.

----

Upon reaching home all of my bags from shopping were in the foyer. The house was dark and quiet as I trudged up the stairs with the many bags. When I reached the hallway I walked slowly and opened up my bedroom door. I switched on the light and shut the door. My bags spilled onto my bed and I sighed.

Since I was tired I just set everything on the floor and decided to de-tag all my clothes later. I changed into my pajama's and laid in my now full sized bed. My purple walls made my room look darker, making it easier to sleep. My sheets and comforter was the same, luckily I found the same set in a bigger size.

I heard a small tap on my window and sat up, looking to my left since my bed was on a new angle. Slowly my window slid open and Edward's tall form slipped into my room gracefully. He shut the window, and I saw he was wearing his pajama's.

" I just saw you." I stated.

" It's Friday."

" The cot is gone. Charlie took it to the dump last week." I whispered.

He hopped onto my bed sloppily and got under the covers.

" Well then I guess your stuck with me in your bed. This pillow-top mattress is really nice by the way."

I shifted around so I was laying on my back on the right side of the bed.

" Thanks."

He turned on his side, facing me and shut his eyes. About five minutes later his breathing evened out and he was asleep. I stared at him as he slept, looking so peaceful. His face was completely relaxed as his bronze hair fell in his face. I sat up slightly, using my hand to hold up my head.

Without much thought I reached forward, running my pointer finger down his jaw. It was hard, but soft at the same time. His skin was warm, comforting. I rested my head on my pillow and turned my hand over, brushing my knuckles lightly against his cheekbone. His head suddenly pressed against my hand and his hand reached up to grab my wrist.

I was so sure he had woken, but all he did was rest the side of his face against my palm. His arms basically hugged my arm to him, securing my hand to his face. I moved my head close to his, looking down at him, whispering the words that I know knew would hurt me further, but couldn't stop from escaping.

" I love you."

**Authors Note-**

**Before you ask, no, Edward didn't hear her. Fast asleep. I don't know if you all think this is quick, but feelings develope fast. Picture liking/crushing for four years. Love is bound to happen with Bella whether she likes it or not.**

**Links for some of Bella's shopping clothes are in my profile, at the wayy bottom where it's under 'AMBIVALENCE LINKS'**

**And before you ask...I will not tell you the name they were talking about!**


	15. A Talk With The Chief

**Authors Note- READ END NOTES!!!!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

------

April 24th

Monday

2006

------

BPOV

" Can't we just take the Volvo. This thing is fucking scary."

He chuckled " Bella, I took my mother out with me and she had a blast."

" But I am much smaller then Esme...And I can fall off easy."

" Barely. Look just straddle it and wrap your arms around my waist tight, as tight as you want until you feel safe."

I sighed " I'll just drive myself."

This morning I awoke slightly scared that Edward wanted to take us to school...On the motorcycle. I trusted Edward with my life, it was just the machine that I was unsure about. Today the sun was shining, the sky clear and it was one of those random warm Chicago days.

I was on my own when it came to dressing, but I figured it our nontheless. I had on a blue shirt from American Eagle and it had the little logo on it in white, it's snug fitting and short sleeved. My pants were light wash skinny jeans and had already made holes in them.

Shoe wise... It took alot of guts to actually put on the white stilettos. I stared in the mirror, telling myself that I didn't look like a slut. I felt more girly and that was what I was aiming for.

I did my makeup in light blue's and had on my cherry chapstick, as always. My fathers eye's bugged out when he saw my appearance, he told me to put on sneakers, loose pants and a less tighter shirt. I was about to run up the stairs and do just that when my mother stopped me.

" Charlie, Bella has always been insecure about herself. She looks great." she had scolded before rubbing my arm.

He grumbled something about 'boys taking advantage of my little girl' and kept drinking his coffee.

Edward, now he was a different story when I walked out on the porch. He had demanded I change, I just slapped his shoulder and skipped (tripped) down the stairs. I wasn't wearing some micro-mini skirt for gods sake.

I sighed as I stared at him, balancing himself on the motorcycle and waiting for me. Keeping my bag secured in my arm I stretched myself over the motorcyle and situated myself behind Edward. He handed me the helmet.

" Don't whine about your hair, just put it on."

I twisted my hair and held it up as I stuffed it into the helmet. Edward gripped the accelerator, and had one hand on the clutch.

" Ready?"

" Yup."

I kept my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly to me. He directed me where to rest my feet and I felt myself being pulled forward. Shit, I was so fucking scared the first minute. But once I loosened up it was really alot of fun.

The wind whipped against my arms and I could feel my shirt rippling against my skin.

" Having fun?" Edward asked, turning his head slightly to the side.

" Don't kill me and the answer is yes."

----

When we peeled into the school parking lot, every single eye was on us. Though we were kind of a mystery when our helmets covered out faces. When he pulled into his spot that the Volvo normally, some seemed to know.

He let me get off first and then he got off. Edward balanced the motorcyle on it's stand and grabbed the keys. I took my helmet off and shook my hair out, my legs were a llittle wobbly, but I didn't fall over. Edward took my helmet from me with a smile and looked at me.

" Not so scary, huh?"

" No, it was fun." I said.

He kissed the top of my head " Told you I wouldn't completely kill you."

I rolled my eyes and we walked towards the school. Emmett appeared next to me, a huge smile on his face.

" What an enterance, guys."

Edward and I shrugged and smiled at him. "That's how we roll."

-----

Summer was almost here, well it basically was, but we were in the last week of school. I was swamped with studying and working. My shifts had increased due to someone being fired for giving out free pizza's to friends. And the cashier, Madison, had quit because she was going to college and wanted the summer before leaving as a break, but we all knew because she gave us a notice. We had hired signs up and people were coming in frequently, but most of them were sixteen year old girls who were, no offense, airheads that didn't know what a cash register was.

I hadn't really seen Edward except for passing eachother in the halls. I had been driving to school early to study in the library, and I was up to around four in the morning because my shifts were from after school until closing at eleven. My boss gave me a day off, but then ended up calling me and saying that it was crazy and he needed me badly.

Everyday I was closing up, and it only left me a few hours to study. Edward and I haven't talked outside of school, and I've been absent for lunch because I spent it in the Library studying.

Today was the first day of finals, and I was dressed and ready for school. I had only hoped that I studied enough.

--

EPOV

I missed Bella.

I don't see her except at our lockers or class. She has been working long shifts because apparently someone was fired, and one was going to college but wanted the summer as break. Bella had been getting home at around eleven and I would wake up in the middle of the night to see her drinking coffee and flipping pages through the window.

Truly, I felt bad for her.

Tanya has been around alot, and had taken to studying with me. I let her come over to my house because if we went over to her house, no studying would be done. Today was the first day of finals and I had no doubt Bella was freaking out.

When I got to her house, her car was gone, but Charlie's cruiser was in the drive. I walked into the house, hearing Charlie and Renee talking. She had been driving herself to school but I figured if I got here early I would catch her.

I walked into the kitchen and Renee smiled at me " She left when the school first open so she could study. Sorry, sweetie."

" Oh, alright. I'll see you guys later."

I was a little dissapointed, but I didn't say anything. Turning around and heading for the door, Renee followed me, saying my name.

" Yeah?"

" She's missed you, too." she said knowingly. " You both are so close, haven't spent a day without seeing eachother for atleast an hour."

" Yeah... It's just so easy to miss her." I said truthfully.

She smiled bright " Bella's just Bella."

I smiled back, knowing exactly what she meant. We shared a few more words before I headed off to school. I was a little early myself upon arriving. There were few cars in the driveway, and I could see Bella's black truck next to the spot where I parked. I slipped out of the car, putting on my leather jacket.

When I got into the school there were a few kids scattered around, maybe ten at the most. I walked to the library, still holding my bag. The Librarian wasn't even in the room yet, and I could hear only silence.

Bella sat in a chair, more like slumping, and was sleeping. The light coming from the window shone on her face, but not bothering her enough to not fall asleep. She must be so tired. There were two empty starbucks cups, and her pencil was laying on the floor. No doubt she was finishing up the huge ass packets that were due today.

Slowly I walked up to her and sat in a chair. I rested my hand on her shoulder, gently shaking it.

" Bella." I said quietly.

No answer.

" Isabella."

Nothing

" Izzy B." I said loudly.

Her head shot up and she looked startled.

" What?" she breathed, slumping back in her chair.

" You fell asleep in the library."

She nodded and looked down at her papers. I grabbed them, putting them together and putting them in her binder. I shut her books, which she tried to open again. I looked at her.

" You are over working yourself. Today you are going to take the two tests, go home and nap. Now release the book. If you study to hard then you will fail."

She rolled her eyes, per Bella usual, and stacked her books up.

" I've missed you." I informed her.

" I'm sorry. It's just work and all this studying. I don't even have time to sleep."

I stood up, holding my hand out for her to take. She slipped her hand into mine and I wrapped my arms around her tired body. I was tempted to just carry her because she looked to tired. Her arms wrapped loosely around me.

" Your kinda warm. How about we skip and I take a nap."

I chuckled " I don't think so. All that studying going to waste."

She shrugged and pulled away, grabbing her stuff from the table. I grabbed her hand, keeping her steady and we walked to our lockers. More people were in the halls, talking and doing whatever. When I saw Tanya I smiled. She glared between Bella and I, and then I realized that I was still holding Bella's hand.

Quickly, I released her hand and walked up to Tanya. She looked a little upset so I pecked her lips.

" I love you."

She gave me a tight smile " You, too, honey."

Her squeeze around my waist was tight, but I hugged her back. When I looked over at Bella, her eyes were cast downwards and she had a small frown on her face. At that moment, I felt a little bad and guilty. Few months back, Bella had said that on the first day of the new school year, I had just ditched her at the lockers and went to Tanya.

She was so right.

" I'll see you later, okay?"

Tanya frowned but nodded, scampering away. Today Bella and I took an Algebra class, and then I had Italian, and her History. It was a little mixed up but that was the schedule.

I went over to Bella, who was now shuffling through her locker, which was mostly empty.

" Bella, yo-"

She shut her locker, keeping her eyes off mine " I'll just talk to you tomorrow."

Bella flew right past me, ignoring my calling her name.

BPOV

Why did that sudden surge of emotion just come flooding through me?

It had been a month and my walls of toughening up were already starting to break. I wanted to cry when he just dropped my hand and went to kiss her. But that was his girlfriend, and as a boyfriend, he was going the right thing. Kissing his mate, which is what couples do. I was mostly upset because he had been with her everyday after school since last week, and he fleds to her immediatly when he hasn't talked to me for like two weeks.

I fled right past him to Algebra, but had no doubt he would try and talk to me again. When I got in, tests were laid, downwards on desks. I handed in my packet to Mr. Brooks, and headed to my seat. Edward was in the room within a minute and he shut the door. After the door was shut, nobody else was allowed to come in, late or not. He had been clear that if we weren't here exactly, then we didn't get a chance.

We flipped over the tests and got to work. I got stuck a few times, but worked myself through it with ease after going through different things in my mind. After the first few troubled ones, I flew past it quickly, the problems easy to figure out

When I stood to hand it in, after scanning it over, I went back to my seat, chewing on my bottom lip as he graded it at his desk. His face a mask of calm as he went through the eight page packet.

One by one, kids handed in their tests. Edward seemed to be stuggling on the last problem. I leaned over slowly, making sure nobody saw me.

" Remember the rhyme."

Nowadays, teacher used rhyming words, and songs, to help us remember formula's. It was stupid, but it helped alot. Realization swept over Edward's features and he quickly got through the problem.

Once everything was finished, everybody had handed in their tests. The bell rang and everyone stood up and left.

" Everyone have a great summer." he said as we shuffled out.

Lauren Mallory, late for the class, was slumping against the lockers with a scowl on her face. I hid my slight giggle and walked off to History. Jasper was in his seat, tapping his pencil.

" Hey Iz, haven't seen you in like forever."

" Work, double- hell thrice shifts ontop of homework and studying. I haven't even talked to Edward much except for today."

" That's surprising. You guys are like joined at the hip most the time."

I shrugged and slipped into my seat next to him. When the doors closed, tests were handed out.

History has always been my strongest besides Algebra. But I wasn't in an AP class because I didn't want to handle to AP classes like I did last year. I had AP Algebra, AP English Literature and AP Biology. When my grades started to slip I just said for them to put me down one lower, hence why I am now in class with Edward. He was in a little bit of lower class because Biology wasn't exactly his favorite, but he still got an average B grade.

I took the test, taking my time with my answer. They were alot of fill in the blanks, but there wasn't a word bank so we had to figure it out without suggestions. Jasper next to me was going with a speedy pencil.

Once I had finished with the test and handed it in I waited for everyone else to finish.

The bell sounded and I was gone. I was so relieved that I was done with Algebra and History for the summer. A break was much wanted, but I would probably going to be working alot. I didn't care though, if I wanted to go to college I needed money for books, room and board, for the classes themselves, supplies and other shit.

My parents weren't the richest there were, and I didn't expect money for it. I liked the feeling of working for something.

Edward on the other hand, could go to college without having to work one hour. With Carlisle as the Chief of Medicine, it brought in alot of money for their family. Esme also made a good amount being an interior director. My mom held the same job, which is how the morgage was mostly paid. My dad was police chief in Chicago, which was a pretty important job, but it didn't make as much as you'd think.

I yawned as I trudged off to my locker. My Algebra book and History book had been left on the desk as asked by teachers. When I got to my locker, I saw a happy Alice holding a stack of yearbooks.

" So I volunteered to hand them out to people. So here you go. Delivered. Oh, and I already signed it!"

I rolled my eyes at her antics and thanked her.

" I'll sign your later if you wish."

" OF COURSE! Stick around for a little bit. We'll meet up here and sign everyone's yearbooks."

She kissed my cheek and bounced off down the hall. I leaned against the lockers and opened the book, reading the writing on the first page that had the school logo on it. In thick letters it read:

**Bella,**

**Your the best friend a girl could ask for, and have been since Freshmen year.**

**Next is Senior year, and I hope even when we go off to college, we will still be**

**best buddies. I am so excited to spend the summer with you, since I was absent**

**last summer.**

**LHAGS!**

**Love,**

**Alice Brandon**

I smiled at the little note and shut the book, smiling slightly.

"Um, Isabella. Your kinda leaning on my locker."

I looked up and saw Edward, staring at me. Quickly I moved and opened my locker, grabbing a few of my things.

" Bella, I'm really sorry."

" For what?" I asked, looking at my locker and peeling off pictures that were taken with my friends.

"I just figured out what a fucking asshole I am. This morning. Look, I haven't talked to you in awhile and I've been spending alot of time with Tanya. And I feel like a jerk for just walking away from you and going to her."

" Edward, she's your girlfriend. It doesn't matter, I don't care."

He looked at me " I can see it in you eyes that it made you upset."

I stuffed the pictures in the pocket of my messenger bag and took out my Algebra notebook and my History notebook. I stuffed it all into my bag and shut the flap. I closed my locker and turned towards Edward.

" Like I said, she's your girlfriend. That's how your supposed to be and I-"

" Hey, Bella, haven't talked to you in awhile" I heard the familar voice of James beside me.

He basically shoved his yearbook in my hands, and stole mine. He was nice, but that creepy greeting at my work place was odd.

" Here, sign mine."

I sighed and grabbed one of two of his permanant markers. I opened up his yearbook, which was filled with little notes. I signed my name and handed my book back. He's been stalkerish since that stupid night at the party. He grabbed his book happily and walked off. Creepy...

I opened my book, and saw a long, long note from him, taking up half of the left side.

**Isabella,**

**That night at the party was the absolute best day of my life. I have never felt for a girl, as I do you. Your not just a girl, Isabella. Your a beautiful smart women and any guy would be lucky to have you. Yet I know that you have your eyes on someone other then me. I apologize for being a creeper, and acting weird at your work place. I really liked you, and your really cute. But it's easy to see that you love your best friend, and the school knows he is with Tanya Denali. If he can't see how amazing you are, then he doesn't deserve you. I won't be here next year. I'll be in London, studying at a private school. But I wish you the best and one day, I really hope that you get the courage to actually tell him.**

**Sincerely,**

**James Laurent**

This note made my 'Isabella Swan' signature on his look like shit. I looked down the hall, seeing him stroll towards the cafeteria, book in hand. Without saying anything, I sprinted towards him. As I reached closer I reached out and tapped his shoulder. He seemed surprised, but turned around.

" Bella, I-"

" That was probably the nicest thing I have heard in awhile. Thank you, but... How'd you know?" I asked.

He chuckled " Bella, It's in your eyes when you look at him. He's blind."

I leaned forward and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back for a moment before releasing me. I kissed his cheek.

" Have fun in London, it's alot of fun. I normally go there for Christmas to visit my grandparents. Maybe we can meet up sometime when I fly out in the winter."

"That would be great. See ya around."

" Bye."

I turned around and walked back towards my locker.

He said it's in my eyes. If it's so obvious, then maybe everyone around me is oblivious and Edward _is _blind. I couldn't believe the sweet note he gave me, but I had to make sure that nobody would see it. What a way to find out.

" What was that display all about?" Edward seethed when I took my place by my locker.

" It was nothing." I said calmly, not wanting to get into it with him.

He glared " Oh, really."

I sighed " So you can kiss your girlfriend, in the halls. But I can't go up to a really sweet guy that wrote me an incredibly nice message, and give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek."

" What did it say?"

I gripped it tighter " None of your buisness."

I shoved it into my bag and dug for my water bottle.

"Writing little love notes? How amusing."

My head whipped up and I met his gaze " What the hell is wrong with you?"

He smirked and looked away " Is that what you've been hiding since the beginning of the summer? You've been dating James?"

" You've seen me everday except from when I started taking extra shifts." I said, shocked by his change of attitude. First he is apologizing for being a jackass, and now he is being a jackass.

" Double shifts. Right. Your such a fucking liar."

His assumptions brought tears to my eyes. I wondered in my heart why he was doing this to me, what I did to make him act this way? I looked up at him and his expression shifted once more seeing my tears.

" Do you enjoy making me cry? Huh? Because you've been making me do it alot lately and I can't deal with this. You've hurt me more in the school year then you have in many years of friendship. James and I aren't more then just friends. Hell, were barely just friends... I shouldn't have to even explain this to you. Your my best friend, but right now just leave me alone. Good luck at your game on Friday and at Prom with Tanya."

I stormed down the hallways and to my car. I wanted to scream and sob at the same time. I texted Alice and told her that I couldn't meet by the lockers, I apologized and made my way home. Tears streaming down my face the whole time.

I was angry at him. Incredibly angry. How can someone go from being sweet, to such a jackass. His mood swings were crazy. He was like a girl on her period and a pregnant women with all the emotions.

When I got home, my father was there, but my mothers car was gone. I slammed the car door after getting out and walked up the steps to the house. As I walked in, he'd just been grabbing his shotgun. He was decked out in his uniform and ready to go, until he saw my face.

He set the gun down and walked towards me.

" Sweetheart, what's wrong."

" Edward's a jackass." I said, wiping my tears.

He wrapped his arms around me " What'd he say."

" This guy I knew wrote a sweet letter in my yearbook and I went to thank him and Edward started assuming, and he is a jackass."

" I've got to head to work, but I'll stop by his house and give him a good talking to."

" Dad, do-"

He pulled away, kissing my forehead " Your my baby girl. I'll talk to him, just keep calm."

When he left I ran upstairs and sat on my bed. No full out sobbing, just letting the tears fall.

He called me a '_fucking liar'. _What right did he have to call me names like that? He didn't even know what James had said, and his assumptions of us secretly dating behind Edward's back were stupid. It's not like it would be any of his buisness if I was.

At three thirty I had to leave because I had a shift at Chicago Dough. I slipped on my black slacks, black dress shoes, red work shirt, my hat, nametag and I was off. It was busy as hell when I arrived and Seth, a worker, was shuffling around with boxing pizza's, getting slices and working at the register. I slipped behind the counter and put on my apron.

" Thank god your here." he said in relief " I swear I am going to start making the chefs help me."

I chuckled " No need. Bella is here to save the day."

I kept telling myself not to cry.

I couldn't show weakness. I had to be strong and not show one ounce of sadness. I couldn't portray myself as a weak person. The place was getting more packed minute by minute, and some were getting a little ticked off that they didn't have immediate service.

" Jeff, Jeremy, Kev and Lacey! We need three cheese, two pep and one with onions and mushrooms, garlic crust on the cheese and regular on the others." I shouted in the kitchen

" Gotcha, Bell!" they shouted in usion.

This was a family owned buisness, and they were all related, right down to little sixteen year old Seth who got a job over the summer here. They hired me as an exception because they thought I was nice and they needed workers.

I went back to the register to see an annoyed fellow.

" I asked for a slice of cheese pizza fifteen minutes ago."

" Sir, I am so sorry. Look, I will give you a discount."

He seemed to be softened up like that.

" To go or here."

" To go, this place is nuts."

_Totally agreed._

" Alright."

I speared a peice into a styrofoam box after putting the thin paper like tissue underneath. I put another peice ontop, closed the box. Marked it and gave it to him. He paid quickly and the next guy came up.

" Seth! Ask the guys if they are done with the other pizza's!"

When I looked at the next customer, I almost frowned when I saw Carmen and Lauren.

" What can I get you."

" A better worker." Carmen sneared.

" This is my work place, if you want me to have a manager escort you out, then I suggest you give me your order or leave."

Lauren rolled her eyes and Carmen glared. " Whatever. I want two slices of pizza, olives and mushrooms with a large water."

" Give me a slice of cheese and a medium iced tea." Lauren basically demanded.

" To go or for here."

" Here."

I set their food on plates and poured their drinks, wanting them to just leave. I typed in the order and rang them up, Carmen scanned her Mastercard and typed in her SS number before taking the receipt and walking off with her food.

Seth came out of the kitchen, holding one cheese pizza with garlic crust. I put it in a box and gave it to the lady who ordered it, along with her pepperoni pizza. She paid for her order and left.

The day came and went, and was hectic. I took my apron off and hung it up. Since it was a weekday we closed around ten. Everyone was still there so we chilled behind the counter.

Jeff is twenty six, Jeremy twenty seven, Kevin is twenty one, Lacey is nineteen and Seth is sixteen. They said that they all learned the recipe's when they were like ten and were taught to memorize them. They lost their parents in a horrible car wreck three years ago and they made the decision to take over the resturaunt. Though Seth hasn't mastered the recipe's he works with me as a cashier.

" Haven't seen Edward in here for awhile. Trouble in paradise?"

I sighed " Kev, we aren't dating. But I guess you could use that term. Tanya is still in the picture and Edward is a fucking jackass and blind. He assumed that I was dating this guy behind his back."

" Who?"

" James, he was in one of my classes, but we officially met at a party. I got a little smashed and we made out a little. But then today we were signing yearbooks and he wrote a sweet message, saying how he liked me, but knew that I liked Edward. And he was an idiot if Edward couldn't see how amazing I am. And yeah, I walked up to him and gave him a hug for that because it was so sweet. But then Edward gets all in my face and is assuming things. I swear I am about done with him. I fucking love the guy and he is such a jackass."

" So, you actually love him?" Lacey asked.

I nodded " Yeah, and it just makes my heart clench to see him with her. Get this, she has been over there everyday since I've been doing the shifts, and has been studying with him. . And I haven't talked to him much, because I have been studying and working, but we pass in the halls. Today, I had fallen asleep at the library at school because I went early to study. We walk down the halls together, he see's her and is running over to her. After he hasn't seen me. I am not trying to sound like a bitch, but I mean, come on!"

Jeff laughed " Poor, Bells."

EPOV

Here I stand, nervous as hell and on the verge of a panic attack.

There was no doubt that Charlie would find out about what I had said. Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me? How could I hurt the person that I care most for. I felt horrible for what I had assumed. And now I got a call from Charlie telling me to meet him at the station, and I stood, waiting for him to let me in his office.

I was in deep shit.

" Mr. Cullen, Chief Swan will see you now." the guy in the uniform said.

Slowly I walked towards the door, opening it hesitantly. He was looking through papers but stopped when he heard me. His face was hard.

" Shut the door and take a seat, Edward."

I shut the door with shaky hands. I took a seat in the hard wood chair and stood straight, my eyes darting nervously around the room. He stood up from his seat and walked towards me.

" Edward, you and my daughter have been friends since birth. I've been friends with Carlisle since birth and my parents have been friends with your fathers parents since birth. See a pattern? Now, we had our fair share of fights, but nothing that would make us stop talking to eachother. Everyone saw eachother once a day. Our families are very tight knit, even when Esme and Renee joined in. But with you and Isabella, you both are closer then anyone in the family has ever been."

I gulped and he continued.

" My daughter has been crying over many situations that occur with you saying rude, impolite things. Alot of them assumptions. And you want to know what she called you today when she came come _crying_? A jackass, and you want to know something else? I agree with her because you are being a jackass."

_Oh, shit. I am going to die._

" If you weren't like a son to me. I would beat the shit out of you, Edward. I would beat you so hard that it would hurt to breathe. But I really don't think Carlisle and Esme would appreciate that. And I, for one, have class. Now, Edward, tell me why you continue to hurt my daughter."

I was petrified and couldn't move.

" I-I-I- just um. I didn't- I-." I stuttered stupidly.

" Spit it out!"

" I love, Bella. She's my best friend, and no matter what, she is number one. I don't know what goes on in my head when I get going. All I know is that afterwards; I just want to take a gun to my head and kill myself because I know that I hurt her once again. I don't want to hurt her but with the stupid guy I just didn't like it. I don't want her to have a broken heart. She doesn't deserve that."

" Edward, everyone goes through a broken heart atleast once." Charlie stated " And from what it sounds, I think that somebody might be jealous?... Edward, do you like my daughter as more then just a friend. Just tell me and spare my reactions."

" NO! No, no, no. I have Tanya."

He sighed " I am not talking about her. I am asking you about your feelings for Isabella."

" I don't see her as a sister or anything, but she's more then just a best friend. I don't have romantic feelings for her."

" Okay.. Well, I really think that you need to have a nice long chat with her. You've been hurting her feelings, and I swear to god, boy. If you hurt her one more time, I will go to your parents. Other then that, we can just forget it aslong as you talk with Isabella and she is okay."

I nodded and stood, giving him a handshake. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.

" I'll talk to her sometime this weekend. She is probably still calming down, and I don't want to stress her by showing up at her work place."

He nodded " Any later time, and I will say something to Carlisle."

------

May 26th

Friday

Last Day of School

Football Game

Homecoming

------

I hadn't seen Bella, at all. She must of been making sure we didn't meet up at lockers or in class. Though I saw her once when we took the Biology final. She hadn't spoken anything, not even a simple sigh or huff.

Tanya had noticed my change in mood, and when attempting to talk about it, she just ignored me. All she did was ramble about how Bella and I get into stupid little fights, and she has to deal with my attitude. So I've been brushing her off a little bit. Would she ever realize that Bella is my friend, and not even she will change that.

---

BPOV

It was the time of the game. Three thirty, and I didn't bother to show up. I avoided him completely and only saw him when I was taking the Biology final.

Tonight was Prom, and I wasn't going to go. Alice had begged me, she came over after the last test and begged. After explaining what had happened, she agreed he was a jackass, Alice had told me that it was okay, but she wouldn't have fun without me. Both her and Rose, left my house, planning to get ready for the game.

I laid in bed, reading a good book. It was a Audrey Niffenegger book, known as The Time Travelers Wife. I had picked it up in the store the other day, and the description catched my eye. Time passed, and the clocked ticked closer and closer towards six. The sun was still shining brightly in the sky, the light flooding into my room.

Suddenly, my bedroom door whipped open, and I saw the last person that I really wanted to see in that moment.

" Come with me, I want to show you something."

I set my book down, looking up.

" Why would I want to go somewhere with you?"

" Because you know in your heart, that you really want to go."

**Authors Note- So, I had a spare chapter laying around, and it seemed to be an emergency because my inbox is on the verge of DEATH and needs to be fed.**

**Review if you'd like.**


	16. Explanations

**Authors Note-**

**Chapter Song- I'm Not Okay by: My Chemical Romance**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

I have no idea what possessed me to follow him, but I did. We walked silently to his Volvo, and he was holding a little bag in his arms. I didn't ask him, and he didn't say anything about it. Though I did want to know why he wasn't at Prom with Tanya. Juniors were allowed to go, so there was no reason not to. Tanya was probably -no doubt- pissed as hell that he ditched her for me. Why did he ditch her for me?

I scampered to the passenger seat, not giving him enough time to open it for me. He scowled, but kept quiet. He threw his bag in the back and started up the engine. I listen to the purr of the Volvo and focused on it as he peeled out of the driveway.

He drove and drove, and I had absolutely no idea when he turned left on Archer Avenue. I watched as houses and tree's went past us. But soon, we were on a deserted rode, a forest surrounding us. When he stopped, it was at a dead end.

Edward got out of the car and I stayed unmoving. He grabbed his bag and looked at me.

I stared back at him skeptically.

_Maybe he was going to drag me through the woods to kill me._

I nearly rolled my eyes at the stupid thought. I opened up the door and walked around, facing the huge forest. Edward walked forward, stepping over the roots and twigs. I would definately break my ankle on all of this.

He held his hand out " Are you coming or would you rather stay here, alone?"

Slowly and hesitantly, I reached out to grab his hand, sparks shooting up my arm. I took a first step into the forest and tripped. He caught me quickly with a chuckle and we continued our trip through the forest.

When we came to a fallen tree, he stepped over the huge tree and held his hands out. I was going to take them when he grabbed my waist and lifted me over. I held onto his shoulders until he set me safely on the ground, once again taking my hand.

As expected I tripped over more roots, but wasn't caught. My hands scraped against the tree as I tried to catch myself. I fell onto my hands and knee's with a sigh.

" Oh, my. Are you okay?" Edward asked, standing me up.

" How much longer?"

" About three miles."

My eyes bugged out of my head and I wiped my palms on my jeans. He crouched down, taking off his bag. Waiting. I stood next to him, wondering what he was doing crouched on the ground like he is.

" Hop on, Isabella."

" No thanks." I said, walking past him.

He grabbed my wrist, turning me around. " Can you just listen to me?"

I rolled my eyes " Why should I? Why are you even bringing me here?"

Without any words, he threw me over his shoulder and walked. I slapped his back as hard as I could manage, making him wince and almost drop me.

" Bella."

" Fucking let me go before I stab you with my house key."

He dropped me and I stumbled into a tree. I shook my head before walking in the opposite direction.

" I'm just trying to make everything better. It would be easier if you helped?"

" Why should I help? You haven't been easy on me?"

His eyes were pleading with me. " Please."

----

We lugged through the huge forest, and I was shocked that Edward knew where we were going. I had relented in letting him carry me on his back. But as we got closer he set me down. Finally Edward stopped, and we were in an open area with tree's scattered and the grass was high, basically coming up to my knees.

Flowers were poking out here and there, light purples and dark reds. Tree's looked like they were just made to climb, but covered in a little moss. Edward walked over to a huge rock, sitting ontop of it.

" So, you drag me five miles away." I said, sitting on a low tree branch.

" I don't know where to start, but to say; I am sorry. I'm sorry for what I have done to you over the past months. All of the mis-directed anger and the stupid drunk yelling. It's not me and you don't deserve it. And the thing about James... Bella, I was an asshole. What he said, was none of my buisness and about the secret or whatever. Everyone is entitled to their own secret, but if it has to do with me, or a person, I just want to know because I want you to feel like you can open up to me. We have been friends since birth, and I have always gone to you with everything. I came to you when I broke something and was scared, and even personal things. But I can't blame you because the way I have been acting is inexcusable. I've just been...I don't know. But I got in a huge fight with Tanya over this, she is utterly pissed and she has been acting weird around me and that is adding stress."

" Go, if you want to be with her, go. Because I don't want you here if you don't want to be."

His expression changed as he looked at me " Bella, I wouldn't be here if I gave into her screaming and yelling, ontop of Rosalie yelling at me."

" I'm s-"

" Don't you dare apologize... I just don't know what it will take for Tanya and Rosalie to realize we are friends."

He grabbed a lighter from his pocket, and poked a cigarette into his mouth. He lit it and I glared at him, standing on the thick, short branch. He looked up at me sheepishly.

" I'm sorry, fuck it's just helping."

I hopped ungracefully from the tree and walked up to him. I took the cigarette out of his mouth, him standing with surprise. I threw it on the ground angrily and stomped on it. Then I dug my hand into his pocket, took out the whole pack and threw it as far as I could, then threw the lighter in the opposite direction.

" Bella, what the fu-"

" Are you going to start yelling at me again? Go ahead, be my guest."

He ran his hands through his hair and paced " I'm not going to yell."

" Well stop acting like such a dumbass. You've obviously changed your personality and your priorities, if I'm not in them, then whatever. I don't care."

" You've changed, too, Isabella! I am not the only one."

I scoffed " Right, tell me how?"

" Your attitude, clothing, confidence. And when was the last time you were in the music room, or sketching, or in the art room painting? Esme and Carlisle made those rooms specifically for you"

" And those are bad things. I've always had confidence issues, do you really want me to go back to wearing my old clothes. Would that satisfy you, Edward. Would that make you stop acting like a jerk?...And who cares if I am not in the music or art room, and don't shove the Esme and Carlisle bit at me."

" Your always so busy."

I rolled my eyes " Well, Edward my family doesn't exactly have the money to pay for college. I can't ask for money and I like the feeling of working for something. But obviously you wouldn't know that feeling considering you haven't worked a day in your life."

" Oh, way to throw that in my face."

" Like you haven't thrown things in my face. Your the one with the perfect life! Not me. Perfect grades, parents, financially fit for life, perfect girlfriend. Your just full of perfectness." I screamed, my voice bouncing off the tree's and echoing.

"Fuck, Bella! Nobody's life is perfect, and quite recently, neither is mine." he yelled back.

Without another word I turned around, heading back down five miles from where we came from. He grabbed me quickly before I got to far and I thrashed around.

" I can't fucking deal with this anymore, I can't do this to myself." I cried, the tears now freely falling.

He held me tighter and tighter as I kept moving, trying to make me stop. Finally he turned me around, wrapping his arms around me in a vice grip. I hung limp in his arms, unmoving. His hand ran up and down my back.

" I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry because this is all my fault that we are fighting, and I am a jackass and every name you call me. I can't stand fighting with you, it just isn't us and best friends don't fight with eachother...And if you don't fucking hug me back I am going to cry."

Hesitantly I wrapped my arms around his neck. He stood straight, making my body lift up and my legs dangle as he hugged me. I breathed in his musky scent, which also smelt like a hint of cinnamon. I closed my eyes, relishing in the moment for as long as I could. He smoothed my hair down and kissed the side of my head.

" I love you, Isabella. You will always be my best friend."

" I hope so." I murmured against shoulder

He patted my back a few times before releasing me. I let out a long sigh and skipped over to where he dropped his bag. Edward looked at me skeptically, glaring at the bag.

" Your daily bag of Coke?" I asked with a laugh.

" Right, Isabella. Give it here."

I threw it at him, and he caught it easily, unclasping the flap and opening it. Without warning he threw a plastic bottle of coke at me, hoping for me to catch it. Instead, it hit a peice of broken off wood, broke open and the soda flooded out.

" Nice going. Now your sharing yours."

He laid out an afghan and I sat down on it. When he pulled out the second coke, I reached for it, he took a swig and handed it to me. I glared before taking a gulp of the drink and handing it back. Edward seated himself next to me and took out his yearbook, handing it to me with a permanant marker.

I quirked a brow " You want me to sign your yearbook."

He nodded and I opened the flap. My eyes dragged over all the notes. Emmett's read:

**It was another great year my little british buddy!- Emmett**

Then Rosalie's:

**Edward, I'm so glad that you and Tanya are together, you make eachother so happy. Your a great guy, and Tanya is a amazing girl, you both belong. Love ya, Rosalie.**

I wanted to throw up, but then I read Tanya's:

**Eddie, baby, I love you so much, you are my one and only forever. This year has been almost been the best of my life. You love me, and I love you, for like...Ever. Love ya! Tanya**

Eddie baby? Fuck that was hilarious. I took the cap off the marker and wrote my note.

**Yet another year, and I am hoping the next is better. We'll always be best friends, and I hope that when your an award-winning actor you will still have time for me --smiles--. Your a great friend, and I love you, Edward. - Izzy B, Iz, Iz B, Izzy, Bella, Isabella. I have way to many nicknames.**

I smiled writing all of my different nicknames that I had been given. I handed it back to him.

" Award-winning actor..." he chuckled " I wish."

I laughed with him " You never know, this is Edward Cullen were talking about."

" You have too much confidence in me."

" If I don't, who will?" I teased.

His jaw dropped and his hands went to my sides. I screeched in surprise and started laughing uncontrollably as he tickled me. I squirmed, bursts of laughter escaping me as he continued, little tears escaping.

" Stop!" another fit of laughs " Edward, please!" I pleaded.

With a chuckle from him he stopped, but still hovered over my body. I leaned up on my elbows as his emerald eyes stared into my brown ones. There were no words passed, just staring. Only a moment later he slowly dipped down, eyes flickering from my lips to my eyes.

I knew that this wasn't what he wanted, it would be weird and awkward if he kissed me now. He loved Tanya, and he made that very clear. I rested my hands on his chest and pushed him back, hearing my cell-phone ring at the same time. He sat back and I stood up, taking my phone from my pocket.

" Hello," I answered, running my hand through my hair.

" Bella! I've been trying to get a hold of you for awhile. Esme and I have been worried. Where are you?"

" I'm with, Edward."

" Isn't he supposed to be at Prom with Tanya?"

I sighed " He showed up. But, no, were fine. Did you need something?"

She cleared her throat " No, just wanted to make sure your safe, that's all. Will you be home in time for dinner?" my mother asked.

" Probably."

" Alright, sweetie, see you later."

" Bye."

I hung up my phone and looked toward's Edward " They, uh, didn't know where we were."

He nodded and I sat next to him, stealing his coke and taking a long swig. We stayed in the little meadow, watching as the sun went down slowly, we didn't talk very much, instead he put on soft music that could play outloud on his iPod touch. He pulled out an extra blanket from the bag and let me lay next to him, my head resting on his shoulder.

It didn't take long until I had been closing my eyes, Debussy playing as I fell asleep.

----

When I awoke I was startled, and slightly scared. The iPod touch was dead and Edward had also fallen asleep. So here I lay, five miles away from the car, and panicked by the darkness. Now I wasn't afraid to the dark, but the fact that we were so far away from the car scared me. And we could see absolutely nothing, for even the moon was covered with clouds.

"Edward," I whispered.

He rolled over, his head coming to rest on my upper thigh.

" Edward get the fuck up, now!" I scream whispered.

Quickly he shot up, a little confused.

" Fuck, oh my god. Were in a forest."

I smacked his arm " Thanks to you. How do we get back."

Whilst in the dark, we shoved the things into his bag. His phone was dead and mind had on little bar of power, and the reception sucked out here. There were missed calls, but I couldn't call back. And I was scared... Seventeen, and scared of a dark forest. This was scarier then when Alice dared me to go into the stupid haunted mansion on Halloween, I swear to this day I saw a ghost wearing a top hat and a dress rope.

" Bella, calm down, I know the way out... It'll just be a little harder in the dark..."

Seeing that I was terrified to the point of being frozen he wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me closely. We stumbled around in the creepy darkness, running into tree's and getting hit by branches that stuck out.

" Remind me never to play soft music in a forest."

I choked out a small laugh and when I saw a familar fallen tree, I breathed a sigh of relief, we hadn't been going the wrong direction yet. He helped me over and I got my shirt snagged onto a sharp peice sticking out. Now my shirt was ripped, nice going. Edward pulled at me, ripping it further. Finally I wormed my body out of it and it hung limp, stuck to the tree. Now I was stuck in a tanktop and I was cold.

" Be a gentlemen and hand over the leather jacket." I asked, my teeth chattering with the cool night air. Edward shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over my shoulders, I slipped my arms through the sleeves and continued the journey out of the forest.

The inside was so warm, and it was bathed in his scent. I secretly wished to myself that I could sleep with it. Right now, I could just bask in the smell.

Edward pushed branches out of the way, walking carefully through the forest. Something must of caught on his foot, because he suddenly started hurling forward, bringing me with him and we fell to the damp ground, rolling down slightly from the uneven ground. Leaves were tangled in my now damp hair and I felt Edward's huge body laying over mine. This would of been since, if it didn't happen this way. His stomach was flat against my chest, my boobs getting squished. It was quite painful.

I tried moving his arm, seeing a bleeding scratch on it from something sharp. The scarlet liquid dripped onto my jeans and I tried to ignore the rust and salt smell.

" Shit, Edward. You're bleeding." I stated.

He shuffled off of me and I breathed in air.

" Thanks for laying on my chest." I muttered to myself.

I must of not been quite enough because he laughed. I glared at him " Go, ahead, laugh. Your not a girl."

" Glad I'm not."

I grabbed his back, fishing out the first aid kit. Of course he knew that someone would get hurt, probably thinking it was me. The gash was quite large, and a unsuspected amount dripping out. I grabbed the cleaner and leaned forward. He was going to take it but I batted his hands away. I sprayed it on his arm, him wincing from the sting. I cleaned it with gauze and grabbed tape and more gauze since a band-aid was too small. I wrapped two layers of gauze on his arm and taped it up.

" Nurse, that's what you should be."

" I've hurt myself more then I can count and I know how to patch myself up. I don't really like the thought of taking care of other people with gashes."

" What about me? You just fixed me up."

I put the stuff back in the kit, and shoved it into the bag. He stood up and I kissed his cheek, slinging his back over my shoulder.

" Your my best friend, it's in the job description... Now lead us out."

He grabbed my hand, the sparks flying up my arm, and led us forward.

---

I breathed a sigh of relief and exhaustion upon arriving at the car. I threw his bag in the back and crawled into the passenger seat, reclining it backwards. Edward turned on some music as he drove through the dark streets. It was three in the morning, and our parents were probably worried.

I knew that I must have dozed off because when I awoke again, Edward was carrying me upstairs to my bedroom, his grip was loose, and I knew that he was tired himself. When reaching my room he laid me down, and I could feel him plucking out a few leaves. He slipped off my shoes, but didn't remove the jacket.

With a groan I rolled over to the right side of my full bed. I heard clothes rustling and my shower running for a few mintues before the bed shifted. I could smell strawberries and laughed to myself.

He used my shampoo.

---

The morning was rough. Edward must have been charging his phone because all it did was ring, and ring, and ring. Then a little _ding! _signalling a text. When I breathed, I inhaled his scent from his jacket that I was wearing, but it also mixed with mine. Fuck did our scents smell good together...

Edward groaned as his phone rang once again.

"Uhh, go away!" he yelled angrily, grabbing his phone. " Stupid, Rosalie." he muttered, answering the phone.

" What the hell do you want. I was sleeping."

There was a pause, and then alot of yelling on the line, from Rosalie of course. I heard Tanya's name being thrown in the mix and knew it was about last night. Of course Rosalie would stick up for Tanya.

" Will you shut up, Rosalie. I had something to fix, and it came before partying... Well then get the fuck over it, it has nothing to do with you so stop being a bitch... I don't care if you are, this has nothing to do with you...She is no-... No we are not!.... Fuck just shut up already...Whatever keep going on, I'm hanging up, goodbye."

He shut the phone and threw it on the ground.

" Fucking bitch." he muttered into the pillow, pulling the covers over his body.

I sighed " Rosalie, right?"

" She's pissed because I 'ditched' Tanya. I told Tanya that I couldn't make it, and yeah she was kinda pissed, but I didn't just blow her off without a word. Now Rose is pissed because I was with you, Jesus christ she is a nightmare."

I nodded in agreement and laid on my side, facing my bedroom door.

" Don't let Rosalie get to you, Iz. She's just getting her nose into something that has nothing to do with her."

" Yeah."

I heard him babbling something in Italian before the bed was still and I could once again hear his even breathing.

----

" Edward! Bella! Time to get out of the lair, get down here!" I heard Carlisle yell upstairs as Edward and I were in an Epic battle of the video game.

I heard Carlisle yell for us once again and we scampered out of Edward's bedroom. He raced ahead of me on the stairs and we went into the living room, seeing both mine and his parents sitting on the clean, crisp couch.

We probably looked a little disheveled from all the fooling around. He kept trying to push me off, and I did the same. My clash shirt was all wrinkled. I smoothed it out and looked down at my shoes before looking at them. Edward plopped onto the couch, his feet on the coffee table. Esme shoved them off and glared.

" You were born to have class." she scolded as Edward smiled at her widely.

" Love you, ma."

She scowled and look back at her husband, holding his hand.

" Wait! Mom, are you pregnant?! Oh, fuck, please no! I thought we agreed on the whole ' Edward's an only child '. Didn't we?!" Edward said, spazzing out like a freak.

" Edward! Calm down and yes, you are going to be the only child. After having you we wouldn't want another nightmare now would we?" Carlisle said, stopping his little banter. " Now, back to the subject. Alot of the hospital staff is partaking in the Make A Wish Foundation and we are holding an event on July 1st where people can freely make donations. I am going to be in charge of this, and I am going to be doing the speech's, along with the directors of the foundation. Last year, we did a different charity even, and Edward, as you remember, Tanya was very unwilling to go, so this year we thought you could take Bella if you both would like to go. You are invited, but do not bring your friends into this, I ask. We all know how Rosalie and Alice go all out for no good reason, and if they ask, just tell them that it's not their place to go." Carlisle explained.

Edward shrugged " Cool with me. You want to be stuck with me, Bella?"

" Do I have a choice."

" No."

I rolled my eyes " Fine."

**Authors Note- **

**The charity will probably be not next chapter, but the one after that. And besides that event, another important one will be coming. Prepare yourselfs, this is just the beginning...That thought might scare you more considering all they have already gone through.**

**Now, I think I deserve a review for the back to back chapters last week. Don't you think so?!**


	17. Not So Fun Date

**Authors Note- Longest. Chapter. Ever.**

**ALSO! I only didn't update last Tuesday because I had updated back to back on Friday and Saturday.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

----

June 23rd

Friday

2006

(Two Friday's before Charity Event)

----

BPOV

" Mother, I am not going to be wearing a long tweed, long sleeved turtle neck dress. It's summer not winter, and I am not an old lady. That dress is ghastly." I said, dragging my mother out of a used clothing store.

" I'm going to go look in Nordstrums." I stated " You do...Whatever you wish to do. I'll see you guys at home."

I swear my mother was freaking out about my clothing attire for the charity event, and the dresses were horrible. It makes me question who picked out my dress on my Birthday. Esme must of helped her out, she has good style. My mother was a 'loose t-shirt and jeans' kind of person, and I had gone through that when I was twelve. Then I got laughed at when we were shopping in a store, both wearing white t-shirt's, skinny jeans and gym shoes. Never, will I ever, match skinny jeans with gym shoes. It's a fashion disaster as Alice would say.

My parents had accompanied me on this trip, for they both needed clothes. Dad's suit was so outdated that it was a dress robe, something you don't see often. My mother didn't even own a proper dress. We took seperate cars, because I, of course, had a shift. Luckily they had gotten their cousin, Hayden, who is seventeen, to help Seth and I. He was a nice kid, just a few months younger then me.

He was cute with his grey eyes and carmel colored hair, he wasn't pale, but not extremely tan, just a medium color. He was thin, kinda bean-stalk-ish, but not enough to see his ribs sticking out. His face was strong and angular... If I wasn't in complete love with my best friend I would date him.

When I found the Nordstrums located close to the mall, I hesitantly walked in, a little unsure. This was going to be my first time basically shopping by myself. I pushed back the anxiety and walked in with as much confidence I could munster up.

As I looked through the racks and saw many dresses, none just called to me. Finally I just picked up a few and figured that they may look better on me, then the rack. I even picked up a pink and black one that was cute.

Another mission that I had today, was pick a tie and button up for Edward, and it had to match my dress. Pink would amuse him greatly, and piss him off...

I first tried on a white cotton dress. It slipped on easily, and knew that it was going to be an issue. I didn't want a tight dress, heck that would make me look frumpy and probably lumpy, and I wasn't lumpy. It fit on me like a Hefty garbage bag and this was definately not cotton, more like wool. I stripped it off quickly. The next was strapless so I slipped my bra off and put it on. I got it over my top half, and inched it down the rest. I had two fucking asses in this dress.

I peeled it off my body and went to the next one. A blue dress that had silver embroidery on the waist. When I put it on, it was pretty, but nothing that was really different. The beads were loose and there was a string that tied it tighter, but it was a different fabric then the dress. Like sweatpants fabric.

Finally, I came to a pink and black Trixxi Origami Strapless Dress that had splashes of light blue. It looked to be just above the knee. There was an elastic back for good fit and it was nicely lined. The fabric looked like satin, but it was polyester and machine washable. The pink sash on the waist had a tie in the back, but it was thicker and less cheap looking. It was only sixty eight dollars, which was affordable.

When I slipped it on it fit snuggly over my chest and waist, it flowed out nicely and stopped only two or three inches above the knee. I tied the pink bow in the back and examined myself in the mirror. There was no huge amounts of cleavage showing, which I was glad for. It fit very nicely on my chest, and didn't show much. I took a quick picture and sent it to Alice.

My phone buzzed only a second later with a response.

**So adorable! You have to get that! xoxo Alice.**

I smiled, glad that I had actually picked out a dress myself, that Alice approved of. I slipped out of it and put on my other clothes. I put the other dresses back and went to check out. I had many shoes that I could wear with it, now I just had to head to Express Men which was next to Nordstrums. A lady rang me up and bagged me, and I was out.

I walked over to the store and walked in. My dress was mostly pink an black, but since it had a light blue, I would do Edward a solid and not get him a pink tie. I took out my phone to shoot a text to Edward.

**Your tie is light blue.**

He responded a minute later.

**Thank the fuck god. I love you.**

I rolled my eyes.

**Don't tell you're girlfriend you said that.**

I sent it with a bitter smile as I walked towards the ties.

**I wouldn't dream of it. But really, thank you for not torturing me with pink or purple.**

I chuckled

**Of course. Now I am in the store to get you're tie, I'll talk to you after my shift is over if I'm not too tired.**

I put my phone back into my bag and browsed through all the ties that were hanging on a rack that moved. What happened to simple colors? I searched for a light blue tie, but most of them were baby blue, which didn't satisfy me the slightest. Finally, I found a light blue one, and took my dress out to make sure it matched.

When finished, I went and looked for the button ups. It wasn't actually east to find a collar that buttoned down in Edward's size medium. Most of them were XL or L, which would fit Edward like a dude nightgown that went to his knee's. Finally I found one and went to check out. The lady looking at me with a goofy smile.

" Shopping for your boyfriend? Guys these days, can't even pick out their own clothes." she said, scanning the tie.

I laughed nervously and took out my debit " Oh, he's not my boyfriend, just a really good friend." I commented, swiping my card as she finished. I typed in my pin and put my card back in my bag.

" Come again!" she said perkily.

-----

Upon arriving at Chicago Dough, Seth was talking with Hayden, and the place wasn't all that busy. When the bells on the door rang as I walked in, they looked towards me.

" Oh, Bella! I called you but you didn't answer! It's really slow today so you don't have to work!"

I groaned " Seriously?"

He nodded.

" Get me a pop." I demanded with a laugh, talking out my phone.

**Slow day. Wanna chill around dinner? -B**

**Sure. -E**

He filled up a cup of Coca-Cola and handed it over. I hopped onto the counter, dangling my legs on the other side. Hayden rolled his eyes.

" You are one odd girl. Now get outta here! It's a guys day!"

I glared at Seth " Don't be a jerk. I happen to be kind of guy-ish."

They both looked at me skeptically. I took a big gulp of the soda, and let out the biggest belch I could. I was surprised on how unlady like and out of character it was for me. At the moment, I didn't care, because I could actually be myself around my work place, and talk freely about my feelings...Because they all knew how I felt, I couldn't even tell Rosalie and Alice without them getting pissed.

Hayden laughed " Izzy is cool, Seth."

Seth mumbled something under his breath and shrugged, grabbing a soda himself. I stayed for awhile, talking with them and snacking on the pizza that we weren't exactly allowed to eat. Around three I decided to leave, only to be stopped by Hayden.

" Um...I know your into your friend, or something like that... But would you like to chill tonight. Maybe go bowling or something."

I looked at him skeptically...warily. Did I really want to go out with him, still having feelings for my best friend. Though Hayden is aware of that... It couldn't hurt.

" You know what...That would be great. How about we meet around five thirty?" I suggested.

A big smile lit up his face and he smiled " Alright, see you then."

----

When I got home I went to my closet. I wasn't going to wear some fancy shirt, because we were going bowling. I hoped it was cosmic bowling, that would be fun. I changed out of my clothes and hopped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over my body.

Once I was all clean, I got out of the shower and swiftly dried myself off. I blew out my hair, straightened it and went to my bedroom to pick out my clothing. After putting on a simple pair of cotton panties and a bra I put on a dark teal colored shirt that said 'Rock' on it, then my darkwash skinny jeans and converse. I put on my knew skinny jeans and they were stressed and worn looking.

I slipped on a hoodie, zipped it up and went to the bathroom where I did my make-up and brushed my teeth. When the clock read five fifteen I scooped my bag up and jogged downstairs. The place was downtown so if I took the highway I would get there in ten minutes. As I grabbed my keys, I was stopped by the sound of footsteps.

" Where are you in a rush to?" the deep voice of my father asked.

I spun around, a nervous smile on my face " Just going out with someone from work."

" You work with all guys. Except Lacey."

I bit my lip " I'm going out with a guy named Hayden, he's their cousin. He asked me to go out bowling and I said I'd meet him there."

" Still got that pepper spray."

I glared at him, opening the front door with a blush on my face " Yes." I said, exasperated with clenched teeth. I locked the door and went to skip down the stairs.

When I saw Edward, I then remembered I had made plans with him...Shit. He was standing in the grass, walking towards me and holding a container which looked like it was filled with lasagna.

_Fuck, why does he have to be such a sweetheart and bring me dinner?_

Upon seeing that I was leaving, he stopped next to me " Um, are we going somewhere."

" Shit, Edward. I totally forgot. I'm, uh, going bowling with a guy from work."

Now he looked a little miffed " Seth?" he asked.

I shook my head " No, Hayden. He asked me meet him and I said yes. But we can chill afterwards. I want that lasagna."

He frowned " I hadn't ate. I was hoping so with you."

_Was it a good thing that I wanted him to be sad that we couldn't spend time together?_

" Edward... I'm sorry. Look I'll try and be back before seven. You can eat... Or hell we can just forget about it. I'll just call him and say I can't make it."

" No, Bella. It's fine. I'll just drop this off inside and go home."

As he started towards his door, I called his name. Making him stop on the porch and look back at me over his shoulder.

" I really am sorry."

He nodded once and I slipped into my truck, starting up the engine and speeding towards the highway.

----

" Your shoe laces are glowing." Hayden pointed out.

I nodded, laughing nervously as I took the rental shoes from the man behind the counter. We walked over to a lane, that Hayden insist have bumpers. I was content without them, but he basically forced it.

He was kind of different outside of work. We slipped on our shoes and laced them up. I was going to type my name in first, but then I was rudely interrupted.

" Bella! You have to put my name first."

With a sigh, I typed my name in after his and he took his turn, using a bright orange ball. When I grabbed a black one, he looked at me.

" Black?"

I shrugged " Black is cool."

I took the first swing and got a perfect strike. Hayden scowled at me, seeing the numbers changing on the board. Why was he acting like such a jerk to me? Was it just an act at work or something. At this point I was confused.

----

" YES! Beating you by five points. .Face!" he exclaimed as I dipped a chip in the nacho cheese. I was very irritated by how competitive he was. He just wasn't the kind of guy that I thought he was.

I wasn't interesting in actually dating him, don't get me wrong. But I was under the impression that he was just a sweet guy who wanted to go out. Not some controlling weird guy that insisted to have his name before mine.

I seriously considered just ditching him, but realized that it wasn't the right thing to do. He grabbed a handful of chips roughly, making some fall onto the table.

" Get more." he said, munching more down.

It hadn't even a half hour for gods sake. He was the most ungentlemanly person that I had ever come across in my entire seventeen years. I stood up, slipping my hoodie on and grabbing my bag. He looked at me and pointed to the ball.

" It's your turn." he spit out.

" Look, Hayden. You have always been really nice at work, but outside of work, you are the most disrespectful person that I know. I've had a terrible night, so if you'll excuse me."

" Bella! Wait! You are totally right, I have been acting rude."

" Well, I'm just going to head home.

We walked out together after returning the shoes. He followed me to my car and then surprised me by mauled me against it. Pushing his tongue past my lips and shoving it down my throat. I planted my hands on his shoulders and pushed . He stumbled back.

" What the hell! Your discusting, Hayden."

I got into my car, and he sunk into his car. I looked across the lot the red paint chipped and dents were evident on the passenger door of his beat up Corolla. I revved the engine and headed in the opposide direction as I headed back to my house. It was six ten, and hopefully Edward would be free. He would laugh at this.

When I got home, my father was surprised to see me home. He dropped his arm that was placed around my mothers shoulder. She turned from her spot on the couch and he walked up to me.

" Bad date."

" He mauled me by my car... No respect." I said, trudging up the stairs

They both chuckled behind me and I rolled my eyes. I walked into my bedroom and threw my bag on the floor. I jumped hearing a voice.

" Bad date... I knew it." a familar voice said

There Edward lay on my bed, with the same container from an hour ago laying on his stomach. I plopped down on my bed and slipped my shoes off, rubbing the arch of my foot for a minute before looking at Edward.

" And you knew this how?" I questioned

" Best friends know these things. Here, it's all warm." he told me, taking the cap off and revealing the delicious Italian meal. Edward handed me a silver fork and I leaned against my wrought iron headboard, eating the warm food.

" Want to know what I've been craving." Edward said.

I knew exactly what he was going to say next.

" Fish and chips in West Hampstead, London." we said in usion.

I chuckled " I've been craving that since the last time we spend Christmas there."

He nodded " When we go this year, we have to get some."

I nodded in agreement " Of course."

Once I finished the delicious Lasagna, I handed the container back to Edward.

" Tell Esme I said thanks, and thank you for bringing it over. I didn't feel like fending for myself."

Edward smiled " Anytime... So, where is my tie?"

" Is that all you really wanted? You could of just looked through the bags."

" Didn't know if you had sexy lingerie in them."

I slapped his arm and stood from my bed, grabbing the bags from the floor. I grabbed mine first and smiled at him.

" You have to see my dress before you get your stuff."

Edward rolled his eyes and I took the dress from the bag, holding it infront of me. He looked a little surprised and quirked a brow.

" Pink? Your wearing pink?"

" It's not all pink! And whats wrong with it?"

" Nothing, I bet you'll look beautiful." he commented.

I blushed " Um..Thanks. Here, this is your stuff. And you should start gaining weight. It's alot easier to find L and XL."

" I rather like my body how it is." He fished out the tie and shirt, nodding in approval. When he grabbed for the receipt, I took it from his hands, ripping it up.

" Let me give you money, Isabella."

I shook my head " I've got it taken care of."

He glared, taking out his wallet and shoving a fifty at me. My eyed widdened for a moment and I shoved it back in his direction, still shaking my head. It didn't matter the price, I could do this one thing for him.

" I will hand you a hundred if you keep shaking that head."

" Just take your fucking money back! I've got it taken care of." I yelled, clearly aggrivated.

Now he looked surprised by my little outburst " Bella, you... Was that seriously necessary. I was going to pay you back. Chill out."

I ran a hand through my hair, hanging the dress on a hanger by the clear straps that were inside. His gaze was burning into my back, I could just feel it.

" I'm sorry... It's just not been an ideal day. I didn't get to work, so that's less hours and no money. Then I am treated like shit from a date who wants nacho's and his name first. And then getting mauled at my car by a desperate guy!" I basically complained in a huge whinny voice.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, a little bit of a chuckle escaping him.

" You, Isabella, need to calm down. I know today has been shitty, and he mauled you. Do I need to hurt someone?"

I sighed " No."

He rubbed my back " How about we just chill and watch a few movies. I ha-"

_Hello daddy, hello mom. I'm your_

_ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb._

_Hello, world I'm your wild girl. I'm your_

_ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb._

I was interrupted by Cherie Currie and Joan Jett singing. What an awkward ringtone for me. I broke out of his loose grasp and answered the call with a simple greeting.

" Bella! Hey, we were planning to have a movie night tomorrow! You and I have to go shopping for food tomorrow and I already called Emmett, Rosalie and Tanya, and left a message for Edward. My parents said they would let us have the house and they are going out for most of the night. Everyone is sleeping over, so bring your pajama's, and a pair of nice ones!" she said into the phone in one breath.

" Um, sure, Alice. Just tell me what time you want to get the stuff tomorrow and we can go."

We made plans for me to pick her up at four, and she wanted me to help set up since Tanya and Rose were unwilling to help. I hung up and set my phone on my table.

" Alice wants us to go over to her house tomorrow for a movie night. So we are all being forced to sleep over and endure her movie selection. And I have to help her set up and pick her up and four to get food. And I have a seven to three shift at Chicago Dough."

Edward sent me an apologetic smile and I collapsed on my bed.

" Well, you should get some sleep, and I guess I will see you tomorrow."

I shrugged and nodded my head. A little dissapointed that he wasn't staying. He kissed my temple before opening my bedroom door and shutting it. It was only seven, but I was tired. I shed my clothes whilst under the covers, shoving them to the ground and fell asleep.

----

This morning, I was actually happy to get a call from Kevin telling me that I didn't have to come in. I was a little dissapointed because that meant less of a paycheck, but I was exhausted. I easily fell back asleep under my soft covers. Around eleven, I had Edward rushing into my room, telling me that I was four hours late to work.

I proceeded to shove him out of my room and lock the door. My mother unlocked the door an hour later to force me out of bed.

"Why?" I whined.

" Isabella, you are not five years old! Get up."

I groaned, shifting under the covers. " What did I ever do to you? All I did was love you."

" Nice try, darling. But it's not working."

----

When I actually stood from my bed, I kicked my mother out to get dressed. My eyes wandered out my window, where I saw Edward on his phone. His mouth was moving frantically, and he looked frusterated. Probably another fight with Tanya.

It was only two thirty, so I decided to hop into the shower. I cleaned up quickly, thinking that I could go to Edward's and sneak into my little music room for a round on the piano. I had missed playing, truly. When I finished showering dried, curled and styled my hair. I did my makeup and dressed in my skirt that had the blue fabric on the bottom. I smoothed lotion over my legs and slipped into my white pumps and the blue and white off the shoulder top that Alice had gotten me for my Birthday. The blue matched the fabric on the skirt so it worked.

Since my parents weren't home I didn't have to inform them of my leaving. They already knew I was going over to Alice's tonight. I had already packed my bag with stuff for tonight and it was on my bed. I grabbed my sketch book and left the house.

When I got to the Cullens, Carlisle and Esme also weren't home, I figured they could be doing something together and went upstairs. In Edward's room I could hear the shower running so I skitted to the room and breathed in the musk scent. I was expecting to see a sheet of dust covering the piano, but it was shined and polished.

God bless Esme's heart.

I sat down on the bench, my fingers finding the notes that had ran through my hair, the music tearing through as I silently sang to myself.

EPOV

" Fine, Tanya, whatever. I'll see you tonight." I said, clearly frusterated.

I threw my phone on my bed and pulled at my hair. Another fight about the stupid movie night tonight. It wasn't my fault Alice called and wanted me to go with Bella to pick her up. Now Tanya was all whiny about it and I had to deal. I make one joke, and she snaps and takes it personally.

I loved Tanya, but sometimes I just couldn't deal with her and how she act's. It's just a bit much, but I could handle it for her. I love her, it's as simple as that.

It wasn't enough that Rosalie and her were still pissed that I bowed out on Homecoming. With not another thought I walked into my bathroom, ready to take a shower.

Yesterday I had been sure that Bella's date with that Hayden jackass would go bad. It was obvious, and he didn't deserve her anyways. Bella needed someone who would treat her with respect and that wasn't Hayden. She seemed bummed, but she still talked with me for a little while.

I slipped into the warm water, letting it soak my body. I took a deep breath, breathing in the steam.

Once I had finished showering around three fifteen, I figured that I should go over to Bella's. When I walked out of my bedroom, I could hear the piano loud and clear, a beatiful melody playing. I knew Bella hated people watching her, but I had to peek in.

She sat, her back to me. Her body was almost bent over the keys. Bella's hair tumbled down her back in soft, brunette colored waves, and I could see her foot, adorned in a white high-heel, pressing against the petal.

"I'm holdin' on a rope got me ten feet off the ground.

And I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make

a sound. Tell me that you need me, then you go

and cut me down. But wait, you tell me that your

sorry, didn't think I'd turn around, and say hey.

It's too late to apologize. It's too late.

I take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for

you. I need you like a heart needs a beat; it's

nothing new."

Her voice broke off, but notes kept going. And she wasn't even reading off a music sheet, this was something from her mind. She was so fucking smart that she didn't need shit like that. She had leather bound books that held music, and they were full of music notes, but she didn't take it here to look at as she played.

The notes I reconized were from One Republic, and she sounded beautiful when she sang it. When she stopped playing I tapped on the door and Bella spun around, surprised to see me.

" What are you doing here?"

I chuckled " This is my house, is it not?"

She cleared her throat and gave a small apology, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. I strode across the room, taking a seat next to her on the bench. I couldn't play for shit, so I wouldn't even try.

" Play me something."

" You know I don't like playing when people watch me." she said quietly.

" You haven't played for me since you were twelve. And that was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Please."

Her small hands ran over her face before she placed her fingers on the keys, playing an unfamilar melody. Her notes were deep and meaningful, holding alot of potential. She was a little shakey at first, but it left in time.

When she finally stopped she turned to me.

" I'm still working on it."

" It's beautiful, Bella." I said truthfully.

She stood up from the bench, smoothing down her skirt and walked across the room, her heels tapping against the wood floor.

" Are you just going to stay there?"

I glared at her playfully and stood up, following her out of the room.

" I've been working on a sketch."

I was actually surprised. She hadn't sketched or played piano in awhile, and now she was starting up again. I was happy because I knew that she had been working on things, but left them unfinished due to frusteration.

" Remeber how we said we were going to get tattoo's on our eighteenth Birthday." she mentioned, holding up her sketch book.

I hadn't knew she was holding that, but she flipped it open to a page and I saw something that brought a big smile to my face.

" Seriously?"

" I mean, we don't have to get the same ones. But I just kept drawing and drawing.. And we don't have to get this. It's not that good anyways."

On the sketch pad, in pencil and bright colors was the United Kingdom flag, but infront of it was what caught my eye. It was the royal coat of arms; Coat of arms containing shield and crown in centre, flanked by a lion and unicorn. In a banner above which looked to be in a ribbon said ' God save the Queen'; the countries Anthem. All the lines were perfect, not one thing looking different.

" Bella it's amazing." I breathed.

" Really? It needs work bu-"

" It needs nothing. It's perfect."

A smile spread across her face and she closed the book " I'm glad you like it."

" Well you did a great job. Now if we could convince our parents."

She laughed " I doubt it...But you really want to get it tattooed?"

" Only if you do."

" Let's go make some food. I'm starved!"

----

BPOV

Edward and I dropped by my place to pick up my stuff before going to Alice's. She was waiting by the gate, wearing a pink summer dress with spaghetti straps, pink diamond studded flip flops, and holding a big silver prada handbag. Her hair was flipped out, looking perfect as always, makeup in light pinks.

She hopped in the back of the Volvo.

" Off to the store!"

Edward shifted the gear into drive and sped off down the street towards the store. Alice chatted the whole way, talking about what movies we were watching, and where we were sleeping, what food we were getting, and she even said that she got her hands on a few bottles of Amaretto, and wine coolers. We didn't even ask how.

When arriving at the store we got out and headed in.

" Hey! Chicago Dough sells liters of soda right? Can you get a discount if we get soda there?"

I shrugged " Yeah, I guess so."

" Yay!"

Alice bounced through the aisle's with a little basket in her hands, throwing in BBQ crisps, sour cream cheddar crisps, potato crisps salt and vinegar pringle's, pizza pringle's, pretzels, salsa con queso dip, popcorn (extra butter) and cheez-its.

I followed behind her as she just tossed things in easily, and when finished we checked out and Edward drove over to Chicago Dough. I was a little nervous knowing Hayden was probably there, but there was no way I could avoid him.

We walked into the place and Edward dissapeared somewhere as we grabbed liters from the fridge. We got two regular cokes, sprite, pepsi, cherry coke and . We checked out with Seth and he gave me a fourty percent off employee discount. A pale looking Hayden appeared behind the counter, avoiding my gaze, and Edward walked over to my side, a mysterious grin on his face.

I knew exactly what he did.

I all but ran to the car, fuming. Does he think I can't handle myself.

When he shut the driver side door, I started.

" What the fuck, Edward! Why in the hell did you talk to him. I can handle myself thank you very much!" I yelled.

" I said nothing, Isabella." he said, a sly grin on his face.

"What are we fighting about." chirped Alice.

" Hayden mauled Bella after their little date."

Alice squealed " Finally! A date!"

" You know what Edward, mind your own buisness."

" Your business is mine."

" Go to hell you jackass."

" You'll go right after me Isabella Marie."

" I hate you."

" Well I love you, too."

I slammed the passenger door after getting out, and stomped over to Alice's gate, which opened with a click of a button from Alice's little automatic thing. I walked up the stairs to her huge mansion and waited for her to unlock the door.

She smiled sadly at me and took out her little silver key, with a twist of her wrist the door opened. Alice led us up to the very top floor, where the home theater was. It was a comfortable room with cream couch's, a big television and surround sound. When I looked behind me, I saw Edward carrying everything. Serves him right.

There was a table with a nice cloth laying over it. This was Alice, she would never not put a linen on a bare table. There were glass cups for each person, and big glass bowls for the chips. She made Edward go to her room to grab the pile of blankets, pillows, and go back to the car to grab my stuff.

" So, what really happened on the date?" she asked.

I sighed " He wanted to go bowling, so I agreed and we went. It first started with him getting pissed about me almost putting my name first on the board. Then the demanding of the nacho's... Over all it was terrible and he was a jackass. He was nothing like he is around work. But I told him I was leaving and he mauled me at my car. Basically shoving his tongue down my throat and choking me with it. I just pushed him back and drove away. I told Edward when I got home because he was in my bedroom, giving me some dinner Esme made... But still! He had no business talking to Hayden, it was uncalled for and embarassing. It makes me look like I am not able to handle myself. And I clearly am. But no, he had to get into something that had nothing to do with him, and just make it worse. Not only do I have to deal with the awkwardness, but about the threat that Edward probably made against him, making it about a hundred times worse!" I ranted.

" Well, Edward and you are like really close, right?" she asked. I nodded " He's only looking out for you."

" But, Alice. I don't want my best friend to be doing this to every guy that acts like Hayden. I won't deal with that. I'll never find a guy knowing that Edward is in my shadow when he does something Edward doesn't like."

She nodded " I completely understand that. Oh, and you look cute today. Wearing your black cheekies with lace?"

_How in the fuck?_

" Alice! Please inside voice!" I heard Edward shout loudly, trudging into the room.

" Oh, don't want to hear what kind of underwear I am wearing? Well deal with it!"

Alice held her hand up for me to hit " Go, Bella!"

I laughed and skipped over to grab my bag. I set it on the couch, ignoring Edward staring at me from beside. Alice grabbed the blankets and pillows and started setting up different beds.

When she set Edward in the middle of both Tanya and I, I wanted to say something. To scream, but I knew that would lead to other questions.

" I'm kinda pissed at Edward, so can I please lay next to Rose?"

She quirked a brow " Rose is going to be next to Emmett, I don't think you want that."

" I'd rather that then Edward and Tanya." I mumbled to myself.

" What?" she asked whistfully.

" Nothing. Nevermind."

She dismissed it and whistled to herself.

" Can you both collect the movies from my bedroom?" she asked.

" I'll do it myself." I said, heading for the door.

" I said BOTH."

Traitor.

Edward opened the door and I walked through, going down a floor to her big pink bedroom. As always her room was in perfect condition and makeup litered all over her vanity. There was probably ten different kinds of mascara, and her closet was bigger then her bedroom, and full of clothes.

The pile of movies was divided in two stacks of ten. The only one that I personally hated was Mean Girls, but Alice picked what she said, there was no going back, and she would make us watch all of them.

" Izzy?"..."Izzy B?"..." Bella?"... " Isabella?"

" WHAT?!"

" I'm sorry. You were right, okay. It was none of my business. But I just have the need to look out for you. What friend would I be if I let a guy maul you, and just not slap him around a bit."

" You hit him!"

" Barely. I just gave him a swift kick where it hurts. But anyways I-"

" Do you realize that I work with the guy?"

He sighed " Okay, I'm sorry."

" Fine. But if you do it again, I will give you a swift kick where it hurts. No kids for you."

_I wouldn't kick the place that could make my future little Edward and Bella's._

Something was clearly wrong with me.

He frowned at me.

" Who would want another bat shit crazy kid like you?"

" Good point."

---

When we were downstairs everything was set and Aliced dragged me upstairs to get in our pajama's. Alice was wearing a pair of purple shorts with pink and red lipstick patterns on it. Her top was bubble gum pink and short sleeved that had her name written in rainbow letters. She had fuzzy slippers on and a sleeping mask ontop of her head, and a fuzzy robe hanging off of her untied.

" Now get dressed they will be here at six!"

I rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom. I had brought a sleep tee from Victoria's Secret. It was dark blue and had short sleeve's. It was supposed to be worn just as a sleep t-shirt because it was longer, but I brought a pair of black shorts. I threw all of it on and threw my hair up in a ponytail.

Alice approved on my clothes once I came out and we made our way downstairs.

**Authors Note- This chapter was one of those ' It wrote itself' the bowling thing with Hayden, the sleepover...That just wrote itself. I was going to write part of the charity, but this just came out. So next chapter will continue from here, and then the charity even.**

**Review if you'd like.**


	18. Make a Wish

**Authors Note- Hello, Happy Friday! You'd all better love me after this one...**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Bella's Dress and Hair Style is in profile.**

BPOV

As we skipped down the stairs, Edward was in the foyer, sitting in a chair and flipping through the bible. Alice laughed at him.

" Uh, Edward. Why are you reading that?" she asked.

He shrugged " I don't know...Am I not allowed?"

She giggled " Go right ahead."

Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the kitchen and I saw seven cups of hot apple cider. Compliments of Mr. and Mrs. Brandon.

Seven...The seventh wheel. The odd one out. The one with no mate. The one who wants to steal the boy wheel from the girl wheel, breaking the girl wheel and leaving her on the side of the road. What a great analogy.

" I know your thinking about the whole 'seventh wheel' thing. But I won't just ditch you to makeout with Jasper like I know Emmett and Edward are going to do. Jasper and I aren't like that."

" Don't let me ruin your fun Alice...Maybe I should just go home."

" NO! Come on, it wouldn't be fun. There... No, you have to be here!" she yelled.

Edward came into the kitchen, looking between us.

" Everything okay?"

Alice pouted " Bella wants to leave because she feels like a seventh wheel."

He draped his arm across my shoulders " Bella, I wouldn't just ditch you."

Alice scoffed " Oh, puh-fucking-lease. Edward you always do! Last time we had a movie night at Rosalie's house she got so pissed at you for shoving your tongue down Tanya's throat, remember? She kicked you out of her bedroom for two hours until she let you back in."

He blushed, pushing off me " Whatever. It's all my fault that she feels that way."

" It's true! Look, I am not playing the blame game. But Jazz doesn't do that."

She flitted away and I followed her. Suddenly the doorbell rang and Alice opened the door. Tanya, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie came flooding through.

" We have arrived." Rosalie said, Tanya by her side, them both wearing huge smiles.

Tanya launched for Edward, lips glued to his. At that moment, I wished to go blind. Alice flitted to Jasper and Rose and Emmett, even though they were in the car together, were doing the same exact thing.

I won't ditch you to make out with Jasper my ass. Without a word I walked up the stairs, letting them greet their lovers. When I got to the home theater I went to the bathroom, locking the door and looking in the mirror.

" You can't fucking cry. You can't show weakness like that. You have to be strong. Weakness is not an option." I said to myself quietly.

I stood there for a few minutes, trying to calm myself, when I heard a tap on the door.

" Bella, are you okay...Look I know that I basically did what I said I wouldn't. Please don't be mad."

" Who cares Alice, so what if she is jealous." I heard Tanya sneer.

" Tanya, she...Nevermind just go. I'll see you in a few minutes."

I opened the door, smiling " I'm fine. Just needed to use the washroom."

She looked relieved. " Okay, well lets go."

We walked back into the room, everyone in their own spots. Except Emmett, who was indulging in the snack table. Alice handed out the warm cider and I plopped down on the couch. Edward, who pried himself from Tanya, looked up at me.

" Am I not good enough to sit next to?"

" No."

" Then sit with me."

" I'd...rather sit here for now." I said quietly.

" OKAY! Welcome everyone. Now first we will watch a few movies, no whining, complaining or anything if you don't like it. I will keep the lights on, and if I hear any kissing or see any inappropriate touching, you are kicked out."

Rosalie scoffed " Okay, Alice."

She glared " I am serious. Now, Bella, get off the couch before I make you."

" Alice, I-"

" Off." she said through clenched teeth.

I sat down on the floor, looking at her innocently. She smiled in satisfaction and clicked play, sinking next to Jasper and holding his hand. I took a sip of my drink, feeling the warmth slide down my throat.

We endured 17 Again, Confessions of a Teenage drama Queen, and How to Lose a Guy in Ten days. Then she was bringing out wine coolers and Amaretto.

" Bella should probably stay away from this." Emmett chuckled.

I flipped him the bird and grabbed the bottle of Amaretto. Edward made me pour him a cup and we downed in. Liquid candy was what it tasted like. It made me feel warm inside. I poured more and took slow small sips.

" Okay! Now! Fill up your cups, we are going to play 'Never have I ever'.

" Oh come on, Alice. I ha-"

" Shut it, Edward."

We filled up our wine glasses and cups and sat in our spots. Alice, of course, started first.

" Okay, never have I ever. Made out with Mike Newton." she said, wrinkling her nose.

Edward winked at me as I lifted up my glass for a sip. Rosalie just about flipped her shit when seeing this. Her eyes widdened, and Tanya rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath.

" What?! Bella! You didn't tell us." she screeched with Alice

" It was just a little closet fun. Moving on."

Jasper chuckled " Um...Never have I ever had feelings for someone who was taken."

What the hell? I didn't drink, it was a lie because I do, but I didn't. Too many questions would arise. Rose lifted her glass, along with Emmett. Before they were together, Rosalie was dating Royce King and Emmett was dating Lauren Mallory. They had gotten together sophmore year after lusting after eachother for awhile.

" Okay! Never have I ever kissed someone that wasn't my boyfriend at the time." Rose said.

Tanya was the only one who drank " And before you ask, I didn't cheat on Edward. It was with another guy."

Edward kissed her cheek softly and she smirked.

" Okay, never have I ever... Had sex in a photo booth."

Alice and Jasper drank.

" What? Ew thats so unsanitary."

They said nothing, the pink on their cheeks answered for them. That is quite gross if I do say so myself. I would appreciate sex on a bed more then a photo booth. That's just...disturbing in many ways.

" Gross guys." Edward said.

We asked a few more questions before Alice put on more movies. We watched John Tucker Must Die, Mean Girls, White Chicks, and by the time it was around midnight we had eaten basically all the snacks and drank all the soda. I had alot of the Amaretto and Coke, but I didn't get myself drunk.

I started getting sleepy around one and I had already buried myself into the blankets. I could hear Jaspers soft snore, and Emmett's loud one. Rosalie was quiet, but sleeping. Edward, Tanya and Alice were still awake, watching Stephen Kings 'It'. I was terrified of clowns, and when I jumped, Edward would rub my arm. After the drain part when the kids in the shower room, I turned with my back to Edward and closed my eyes, feeling sleep take over my body.

----

" Emmett, I swear if she see's that she will get pissed as hell. Both of them!" I heard a loud voice say.

My body was still in sleep mode, but my head said otherwise. The sun was shining through the windows in the roof, making a red glow behind my eyelids. I scratched the back of my neck and s shifted around for a moment.

" Your going to wake them up. Let them be." Alice and Rosalie scolded

They were asking for a kick in the ass. I was still entirely exhausted, ready to go back to sleep, but their voice's were only waking me further.

With a sigh I opened my eyes, only to see Tanya's face right next to mine, and she was opening here eyes. We jumped up at the same time, bumping our heads into eachothers.

"Ow!" she complained

" Shit that hurt." I exclaimed, rubbing my head.

After the pain subsided I looked back at her. I couldn't believe I was actually going to say this.

" Um... Sorry."

" Yeah...Whatever. Eddie, baby. Can you give me a hand."

She held out her hand and Edward helped her off the ground. He whispered something in her ear that made a weird smile form on her face, but a big smile on his. I stood up, ruffling my hair a bit before going into the bathroom. I threw my hair back up, brushed my teeth, and as I rinsed my mouth, I heard something crash.

" Emmett!"

" Bella! Help." Emmett cried.

I walked out of the bathroom to see Edward trying to get what looked like a picture, from Emmett's hands. I went over to Emmett and reached for the picture in his outstretched hand. Edward grabbed me from behind and I froze.

" I will kick you."

He still didn't drop me, but instead Jasper shoved Edward off and Emmett gave me the picture and pushed me back in the direction of the bathroom. I walked off and looked at the picture. My mouth slightly ajar at what I saw.

Edward in the middle of the picture, fast asleep with arms both around Tanya and I. Her head laying on his chest, and my face buried in his neck. A smile on his asleep face. This looked wrong in many ways, and made me sick.

When I went back over to them Edward had an apologetic smile on his face. Emmett looked happy and smug. I ripped the picture in half, and Emmett wasn't so happy.

" This...Isn't funny. Infact it...it looks wrong and I don't want to see it again." I said seriously, but calmly as I exited the room.

Downstairs I could smell pancakes, and knew Mr. Brandon was making some. He was the best pancake maker. I skipped into the room, Tanya, Rose and Alice talking amongst themselves.

" Bella!" Mr. Brandon exclaimed, giving me a half hug, holding a spatula.

" Hey, Mr. B. pancakes?"

" Well, Alice asked me. And I can't refuse my persuasive little girl." he chuckled, ruffling her hair as she shoved his hand playfully.

" What did she offer this time?" I asked, sitting on a barstool.

" To wash all of the cars."

Alice mouthed 'hire someone' behind his back and we all laughed. He turned around, glaring at her.

" What?"

" Nothing, daddy."

He kissed the top of her head and went to the fridge. Mr. Brandon poured a glass of Tropicana orange juice for everyone, except for me because he knows I like coffee, and he also knows how I take it. Alice and I used to hang out here all the time during Freshmen and Sophmore year, it became less frequent when I had gotten a job and school got tougher.

After handing me my coffee, he went back to flipping pancakes. The boys entered the room a few moments later, already dressed and everything. I leaned my elbows against the counter and rubbed my face as I heard the stool next to me scrap against the floor.

" I'm really sorry about that."

" It's fine." I said stiffly.

----

We all ate our breakfast and headed back upstairs for us girls to get dressed. I dressed quickly so I could help them clean up all of the bowls, cups, and folding blankets. I vacuumed up the floor, removing any crum or kernal. Once finished I helped the guys put the blankets in the small second closet that was in Alice's room.

Everyone soon started to leave, and Edward and I headed out. Alice bid us all a farewell and we thanked her for a fun night, promising to do it again sometime soon. As Edward and I drived home, everything seemed to be okay.

But something...There was something nagging at me. Telling me that something was going to happen, and the outcome, wasn't going to be good.

----

July 1st

Saturday

2006

Charity Event

----

It was the day of the charity event, and I was looking forward to it. My dress was perfect, and my shoes were picked out. I had my hairclips set up for my up style hair I was planning to do. My fathers suit was cleaned and pressed, as were my mothers clothing.

Edward was coming to get me at six so we could drive over to the City Hall, where this was all taking place. Alot of Carlisle's colleagues were going to be there, along with a few other people who were going to be attending.

When I awoke that morning, I had that same feeling as I did the day of the sleepover at Alice's. I ignored it and went on with my day. I had a blueberry muffin and orange juice for breakfast. A cajun turkey, lettuce, miracle whip, bacon and mustard sandwich for lunch.

I hopped in the shower at four thirty. I scrubbed my hair and my body, also shaved my legs, making sure that not one little peice of hair as on them. Once my whole body was rinsed off I stepped out of the warm, steaming shower and dried off, wrapping the towel around my body and taking a smaller one to wrap my hair in.

I took all neccesary makeup out of my makeup bag and took out my curler and hair pins. I took the towel off my hair and dried it out smooth and straight as the curler heated up. Once my hair was dried I curled all my hair in sections and let it fall over my shoulders as I collected the pins and brushed my teeth quickly.

When I put my hair up, it almost looked like a curled pony-tail, but it looked more classy. I pinned it up and let a few curled strands fall to frame my face. I did my makeup with a little help from my mother, who was already dressed and ready in nice dress pants and a silk top.

I had a light pink, shimmery lip gloss and a pink eye shadow on. Mascara was put on, along with a thin line of eyeliner. As I looked in the mirror, I felt pretty, and it felt nice to feel that way. I walked out of my bathroom and grabbed my dress. I put on a pair of underwear, but didn't bother with a strapless bra because the dress had good support. It slipped over my body with ease and tied nicely in the back.

My legs were already moisturized, and had a little bit of a glow to them. The heels I had matched the blue on the dress, and Edward's tie. After they were on I bounced downstairs, holding a silver clutch with my phone and some money inside. It was five fourty five and I was all ready to go.

" You look beautiful, Isabella." my father commented, twirling me around.

I smiled, walking into the kitchen as I heard my cell phone ring. It was Edward. I answered it, putting it to my ear.

" Hey,"

" Hi... So...Tanya made a last minute decision to come and be my date so I can't go with you. Look, Bella. I'm rea-"

My phone dropped from my hands and both my parents looked confused. The happy smile on my face dropped into a sad frown.

" Isabella, wha-"

" I really didn't think he would." I said, my voice empty "But of course his bitch of a girlfriend has to sudddenly make a decision to go, and I am left dateless."

Renee reached out to hold my hand " Sweetie, I know that he always does this. But show him that you can still have a good time, even though your best friend ditched you. Your father and I won't leave, okay. You won't be alone there. Carlisle and Esme really want you there."

I picked up my phone and shoved it back inside the clutch.

I _would _have a good time. My mother was right, I needed to show him that I can do without him, and still be okay.

We drove over to the City Hall, many cars there. Going into the place. I could see Carlisle fiddling with the microphone. People were seated in their seats, eating orderve's that were being passed out by waiter's.

Esme was sitting at a table, looking quite miffed. As my parents took their seats I walked over to her, sitting in a chair across. She looked at me, looking completely apologetic and upset. Reaching over to take my hand, she rubbed it soothingly.

" Sweetie, I am so sorry. If it makes you feel better, I yelled at him."

I gave a weak smile " I just feel stupid. I dressed up...Got him a damn tie to match my dress."

" You look beautiful. He should be ashamed. And I-"

" Bella!" I heard him exclaim.

Esme glared at him and I got a look at Tanya, who was smiling hugely by his side, but glaring down at me with hard eyes. She was wearing a bright red dress with speckles of different colors. It stood out, and it was short and tight. Her heels were about four inch's tall, almost making her same height as Edward.

Makeup was caked on her face, alot of foundation for that matter.

" Edward." Esme said slowly "Tanya, why don't you go wander. I'd like to speak to my son."

She fucking glared at Esme before walking away, I fought the urge to punch her. I saw her swing her hips over to Mike Newtons father, a worker at the hospital.

" Edward, I cannot believe how you just ditched, Isabella. Do you see that she had gotten all dressed up, and looks absolutely beautiful, but you go running to Tanya an hour after she makes a decision to appear. And you have the nerve to wear that tie." Esme said through clenched teeth.

Nervously I stood up and brushed past Edward, ignoring him calling me. Finally everyone had been seated and Carlisle stood on the stage, standing proudly in front of the microphone.

" Thank you everybody for coming tonight, and participating in this event. We have got some amazing people here tonight, supporting the Make a Wish Foundation, and the directors all are here, supporting this. Everyone is free to make donations if you go to the website or here if you wish. Spread the word, and let people know how important it is to grant wishes to children with life-threatening disease's and/or medical conditions. We will have our first course meal coming out, and everyone have a nice time. Thank you."

He stepped off the stage and over to the table where Edward, Esme and Tanya sat. Tanya had a stuck up look on her face as Carlisle took his seat. When his eyes landed on her, he looked surprised.

I turned my head away, picking up my mothers wine glass and taking a drink.

" Isabella!" she scolded.

" It's just a sip." I said, setting it back down.

" Well, no more 'sips' for you, darling."

----

The most of the night went quite smooth. Except for the microphone trouble while the head director was giving his speech. It gave everyone a good laugh for a few minutes as they fixed the problem.

Carlisle glided Esme all across the floor elegantly. I was a little dissapointed because I enjoyed ballroom dancing. Edward and I had taken lessons as kids, and even though I am not that smooth on stairs or bumpy surface's, I was good at dancing. My father couldn't dance, at all. And my mother looked like she was doing the worm standing up when she attempted.

Edward, of course, danced with Tanya. I found myself with my chin in my hand, just wanting to go go home. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turned to see Carlisle. He held his hand out towards me, smiling.

" Come on, sweetheart."

I stood up as followed as he led me to the floor.

" Let's test your skills. Hmm?"

I glared " Dance, old man."

" Do you happen to know the Waltz?" he asked.

" A little."

He chuckled, taking his left hand with my right, and resting a hand on my upper back, his elbow propped up. I rested my hand on his right shoulder, my arm resting over his. Out of the corner of my eye, Esme winked at me.

I heard a soft, but building, piano tune, and I was whisked away. For someone in their fourties, Carlisle was good. Every once in awhile he would twirl me, making me laugh quietly. The steps weren't that hard to keep up with, but it was alot of gliding and moving. I was surprised that we hadn't bumped into Edward, who was doing a simple box step with a whining Tanya.

When the music stopped, so did Carlisle and I.

" Remind me to make sure my future husband can do that, that was fun. Thank you." I said with a laugh, hugging him.

" Anything for you, sweetheart. How about you go get a drink, you look a little winded."

I smiled and walked off towards the table.

" That was very entertaining to watch." my mother commented.

" Thank you."

" Makes Edward's box step look miserable."

I laughed once more. He totally deserved that one. I heard a loud, screech, that made the room go quiet. I looked over and saw Edward standing there, an angry Tanya running out of the door. When he saw everyone stare at him, he followed behind Tanya.

The noise picked up and I took my seat, eating the meal of steak, garlic mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables. The steak was cooked perfectly, just a little pink in the middle. The mashed potatoes were smooth and the vegetables were just soft enough and seasoned.

For desert they served a pana cota with a strawberry sauce. I danced with Carlisle a little more that night. I knew he was making sure that I had a fun night, even though it didn't start well. Esme came over and chatted with my mother, as Carlisle did with my father.

We didn't hear anything from Edward after Tanya's outburst, but I tried to keep my mind off of it as I had fun. At around ten things were wrapped up and people started leaving. We thanked Carlisle for inviting us, and I thanked him for the dance's before we headed back.

The Volvo wasn't in the driveway, so I figured he was still with her. My parents said goodnight as we trudged upstairs, going into our bedrooms. I flopped down on my bed.

I actually did have a good time without him.

I slipped my earrings out, and slipped off my necklace that I borrowed from my mother. I took note to return it to my mother tomorrow.

As I sat on my bed, replaying the nights events I heard loud steps coming from the hall. My door suddenly whipped open, revealing a teary-eyed and disheveled Edward.

" She broke up with me. Tanya broke up with me."

**Authors Note- So...Um...Like it?Hate it? Or love it? Review because hell, the bitch is done with. For now. But seriously, I think I deserve some major lovin' for what I just did. And I really want to know what you guys think!**


	19. Welcome to My Life

**Authors Note-**

**READ!!! IMPORTANT!!!**

**Alright, this is important...**

**Alot of you guys think that Edward should suffer because how he has hurt Bella. But the thing is, Bella is mostly hurt about the fact that he was with Tanya, and she loved him. I can't really have Bella punish him for something that he is unaware of, because that leaves unanswered questions on his part (Wondering why she is pushing him away) and then it would lead to a different way to the Prologue, and I really can't change it now because it would take ALOT of chapter changing. I understand that he ditched Bella for Tanya ( Numerous times), but Bella is a really good person, a truly good person and she just wouldn't do that to her best friend.**

**Chapter Song - Welcome to My Life by: Simple Plan**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

As the words were processed into my head; I couldn't believe it.

_Looks like Birthday wishes do come true!_

My inner excited Bella was just screaming and rolling around in happiness. But the Bella who was best friends with Edward, felt sympathy for him. I decided to go into second Bella mode. When I looked into his eyes, I saw complete, and pure sadness.

He was heartbroken.

This was his first heartbreak.

His jacket was hanging open and his tie was hanging around his neck. The bronze hair atop his head was everywhere, and I knew that he had been running his hands through it alot. He sat on my bed, his head in his hands as I tried to figure out what to say to make this better.

" What happened exactly." I started.

" We were dancing, and she brought up that her parents weren't going to be home, and we should go there for some fun. I knew what she meant and I told her, once again that I couldn't have sex with her. And she just got all mad and stomped out. I-I just followed her, because I was her ride home." he said brokenly " She started screaming at me when we got to her house, saying that she had been cheating on me with fucking Tyler Crowley, my team mate, my good friend. And then she...she said.."

He stopped, a small sob escaping his mouth. I ran my hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him in some way.

" What, Edward?"

" She said that she could finally get out of the way of you and I being together. She said that she didn't know why I even associated with you...Bella, she's never said anything like that to me."

I bit my lip, looking away. My face said it all. He looked up with teary eyes, staring at me straight.

" What? Bella, tell me?"

I sighed " Edward...I'm not going to go into detail now...But Tanya, she's never been nice to me. It was an act around you guys, but when it was just her and I we never...got along."

He sighed, tears streaming down his face.

" Bella, I'm so sorry that I ditched you...But I just...knew that she and I were just hanging on by something...And I didn't want to lose her." he choked out, stretching across my bed.

I let him rest his head in my lap as I leaned against the headboard. His tears soaked my dress, but he needed me, and I, as a friend, had to be there for him. I hated Tanya even more for breaking his heart, she could of let him down easy, but she was never one to go about things lightly.

My hands ran through his bronze mop, small sobs wracking his body every few minutes. After awhile my dress was basically getting soaked by his now cold tears.

" Edward." I said quietly.

He ignored me.

" Edward, I'm sorry. I need to change. I'll come back.

He moved off of me, and I stood up, staring down at his big, limp body. I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, running downstairs quickly to put my dress on a hanger so my mother could wash it for me. When I got down, I saw her and Esme in the kitchen, talking mutely.

" Hey, what's going on?"

Esme turned around " Is he up there?"

I nodded " Yeah...He's really broken up."

" I knew that girl was no good." she murmured.

There was a bang from above and I sighed. " I'd better."

As I headed for the stairs, I heard Esme follow me, calling my name softly.

" Bella, sweetie. Thank you for being there for him, even though he's been acting...the way he has been acting. I know that he loves you to piece's even though he doesn't act like it. Your an amazing best friend."

" It's part of the job description." I said walking up the stairs.

The hallways was quiet and dark, and I blindly made my way back to my bedroom. I groped for the handle and opened the door, closing it softly. I knew that Edward was probably going to be staying here, so I didn't bother to ask him.

I crawled into bed under the covers, laying on my back, slightly propped up. Edward was under the covers, a huge heap buried in the blankets. Slowly he gravitated towards me, his head popping up and he rested it on my stomach over the comforter. He sniffed once and rested his hand on my stomach, close to his face.

" You were right." he rasped.

I stayed quiet.

" Highschool relationships...They don't last."

" Edward, I didn't mean it for you. I meant it for me. I just never wanted to go through the heartbreak as a stupid teenager. But you took a chance Edward. And what happened, didn't just have to do with a highschool relationship." I said quietly.

He yawned, closing his eyes tightly and sniffing, wiping the tears with the back of his hand. I ran my hand through his hair and he scooted up. As he got closer I sat up and wrapped my arms tightly around him.

" I'll be here for you." I whispered.

Edward leaned up, hugging me back tightly before relaxing into the bed, head resting on my shoulder. I turned my head to the side, taking a deep breath before falling asleep.

----

I had awoken hearing the sound of clothes rustling. The harsh sun was shining right in my face, making me wince and roll over. My bed was empty, meaning Edward was probably the one walking around my room.

When I opened my eyes, my gaze landed on him, and he was pulling his shirt on, smoothing it down. His eyes were bloodshot and just...empty looking. I sat up, throwing the covers off and looking at the clock. It was eleven in the afternoon.

" Edward, a-"

" I'm going to head home. Thanks for last night, that won't happen again. I'll catch you later."

He all but ran from the room, closing the door with a thud. I sighed, running a hand through my messy hair. When I stood from my bed I wandered downstairs to a quiet house. There was a note taped to the fridge, reading:

**Isabella, **

**Esme and I have gone out shopping for the day. Dad and Carlisle have also gone mini-golfing. We didn't want to awake you both so we left you. I was wondering if tonight you could make Steak and Kidney Pie, since you make it the best and we wanted to have our dinner tonight. There is money next to this note. Thank you, darling.**

**-Mom**

**P.S- I know that Edward is probably upset, but try and make him go with you.**

I sighed, really not in the mood for making dinner. But I knew that I had to do it, just this once. I hopped into the shower, cleaning up quickly and dressing into a simply pair of shorts and a button up.

After grabbing my bag I headed over to the Cullens. When I got upstairs I could hear alot of crying going on behind Edward's door. I knew then, that I had to let him be. I couldn't be all over him, comforting the whole time. He needed time, time to think and get his mind straight.

I took a peice of paper and a pen from my bag, writing a small note.

_Edward,_

_I came by because my mother wanted me to get you so we could go grocery shopping for S&K pie. I didn't want to bother you because I know you need your own time. If you need me you know how to find me, it doesn't matter what time._

_Love,_

_Izzy B._

I slipped it under his door and quietly made my way out of the house. When I got to my car I started up the engine and peeled out of the driveway, heading towards the store. I spent the drive in quietness, just letting myself scan over my thoughts.

I would of never thought that she would willingly break up with him. If Edward wasn't comfortable with having sex with her, then why force him. If you force someone into that it's only going to be more awkward. What it really showed was that she wasn't a loyal person. I couldn't believe that she was having sex with Tyler! Tyler who was good friends with Edward. I couldn't imagine the betrayal he was feeling. He was betrayed by two people.

When I arrived at the grocery store I started picking up all the necessary things for the dish. My parents loved steak and kidney pie, and Carlisle could eat a whole one by himself. His mother made an amazing steak and kidney pie, but she was all the way in London. Having access to fish and chips. I should call them up and make them send some.

I stopped by Target quickly to pick up a few personal items before heading back home.

About an hour later I found myself making food for dinner. When I heard my phone ring I sighed, dropping the knife I was using the cut the steak.

" Hello." I answered, cradling my phone between my ear and shoulder.

" IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT, SWAN! TANYA IS SO UPSET AND SHE CAME CRYING TO MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT."

Rosalie.

I sighed.

" She broke up with him, not the other way around."

" Yeah, because your all over, Edward. We all see it, bitch. So thanks to you, you broke up an amazing relationship."

" Look, Rosalie, I don't want a fight, so I am going to hang up before you really get me angry. I won't deal with this, this is Edward and Tanya's fight not mine."

" Don't you dare han-"

Beep. I hung up my phone and set it on the counter, taking a deep breath. I couldn't let myself get angry over this. I knew Rosalie was protective when it came to Tanya, and I respected that. But bringing me into the middle of it would make everything worse.

Edward and I weren't like that, and as much as I wish we were, we weren't. Even if we were into eachother during his time with Tanya, I would have enough class to tell him that it would be her, or me.

I lounged on the couch as the food cooked in the oven. I watched a few movies and recieved a call from my parents saying they were going to be home around seven thirty. I hadn't heard from Edward, but I wondered how he was doing. I figured that I could save him dinner for when he was hungry. I would send Carlisle and Esme home with the second pie I made.

At around seven twenty, I heard a loud, sharp knock on the door. I stood up from my spot on the couch and walked into the small foyer, unlocking the dead bolt and opening up the door. I was surprised to see Rosalie and Alice on my doorstep. Rosalie looking alot more angry then Alice, who seemed more upset then angry.

She clearly didn't want to be here, and Rosalie probably forced her to go. I leaned against the doorframe. Rosalie pushed past me, making me stumble. Alice mouthed a small sorry and I nodded and closed the front door.

Rosalie walked into the kitchen, tapping her high-heel against the hardwood floor. I stood infront of the oven and looked over at her.

" What right do you have just walking into my house. I said I didn't want to fight."

She laughed with no humor " Oh, really. Well since this is all about you, this is going to be a fight, and you are going to be dragged straight into the middle."

I rolled my eyes " Be mature for once. Act like an adult. How does this have anything to do with me?"

The timer went off on the oven and I took the pies out, listening to Rosalie's banter the whole time.

"Because! You are the reason she ended it. Because you are always hanging around, getting in the way of everything!" she shouted.

" In what way! I have never tried to break them up. And Edward wasn't the one that had sex with her friend. She was having sex with Tyler!" I exclaimed.

" Because, Edward was a fucking coward!"

" He was raised with class. Edward told me that it was weird, and that he felt uncomfortable. What did you want me to do? Tell him to suck it up? If he doesn't want to have sex with her until a little bit longer into the relationship, that doesn't mean he is a bad person."

She scoffed " It's not that hard, Bella. Having sex isn't a big deal"

The words spilled out before I could stop them " Well, Edward, unlike Tanya, has value's. And you can go tell her, that she didn't deserve Edward anyways."

Her jaw dropped, as did Alice's. " BITCH!"

Rosalie walked infront of me and before I was able to do anything about, she slapped me clear across the face. I heard Alice yell at her, but I was too focused on the sharp sting. My hand came up to touch my burning cheek and I heard

"What is going on in here?" I heard a loud voice.

Emmett.

Before I could look up, Rosalie slapped me again. I didn't even get a second to recoil before she planted her hands on my shoulders and slamming against me, heading me straight into the hardwood.

My head made a sickening crack against the wood as it came in contact with the hard floor. Thw world around me got very dizzy, and I no longer saw one of everything, but three. I felt like I was about to throw up and my head was hurting so bad.

" ROSALIE!" He yelled just as I heard the front door open.

" WHAT IS GOING ON!" I heard my father yell, mimicking Emmett's words.

I felt someone kneel beside me, and I knew it was Alice by the tiny hands that pressed against my arm. I curled up in the ball, the pain almost crippling. I screamed, the sound making it worse, but I couldn't do anything.

" Bella, Bell. Bella come on don't close your eyes. Please stay awake." she said, my eyes starting to drift close.

" I asked what was going on." I heard my father repeat through clenched teeth.

" She-...She said that Tanya didn't deserve, Edward." Rosalie said nervously.

" And that gave you the go ahead to hurt her?" he asked

" Sir, I-"

He immediatly interrupted " You realize who I am? She has a right to press major charges on you. Get out of here, now!" he barked.

I heard footsteps shuffling out, but Alice didn't move. The pain in my skull was horrendous, and I felt tears leaking from my eyes from the intense pain. I screamed out again and Alice put her hand on my arm

" Carlisle!" Alice called " Somethings really wrong with her. Help!"

Footsteps shuffled towards me and I felt my head being picked up. My breathing caught and I screamed, I couldn't help it. It hurt so badly that I just couldn't stop.

" We have to get her to the hospital. Now. Charlie start up the car. I'll pick her up, Esme can you get a towel and put it over your hands and hold her head up very gentle. Alice can you please get the car door for us. Renee go tell Edward what's going on before he gets worried."

Nothing would ever give me a break. I would always be pushed around, and pretend I was okay. They never had to work for anything in life, it was always there, and I got the short end of the stick. I would always be on the edge, left out.

Welcome to my life.

I felt myself being lifted up carefully and Esme holding my head up gently. My eyes fluttered shut and I finally gave into the darkness.

----

Dim lights.

I was very thankful because my head was absolutely killing me. My vision was all blurred, but I could make out the blue walls and the hospital bed I was laying in. I felt out of it and weird, but the pain I was more focused on.

The room was cold, and I felt bumps raise up on my arms, but a warm hand was holding mind and another was rubbing my arm soothingly. I felt horrible, and not just because of the pain.

I found someway to make this about me now. Edward could wallow in peace if I didn't have to go and get hurt. And if I hadn't said what I said, then Rosalie never would of struck me.

" I think she's coming around." I heard a small voice whisper.

Alice.

She was here, with me. Not with Rosalie or Tanya.

My breathing was coming out unevenly, making me feel a little nervous. I still felt like I needed to vomit, but I was too scared to lift up my head because it hurt too much.

" Bella, sweetheart. Please open your eyes all the way." I heard my mother whisper.

It sounded like her mouth was right at my ear, and she was screaming. I winced away from her, moving my head and feeling a pain shoot through me. Slowly, I opened my eyes all the way, it was just a big blob of blur, though I could see fuzzy people around me, there were about twenty.

" Why...Why are so-so m-many p-people here?" I slurred.

" Honey it's just your parents, Esme and I, Alice and Edward."

" No... Twenty p-people. They all st-staring at me. Please te-tell them t-to go away. Wh-Why is my stom-stomach b-burning, I don't l-like it. And these wa-walls are v-very blue, why such a s-sad color? Did you pick-pick it Carlisle, I know you l-l-like blue. And why d-does my b-body feel warm? Did you gu-guys e-eat dinner. No! Oh shi-shit, it's all my f-fault you-your starving. Please d-don't die fr-from starvation. Did my kid-kidney pie not tas-taste good. I bet it was co-cold. That's also my-my fault. But w-why are th-these walls blue, it's all s-sad. Carlisle, I thou-thought your f-favorite color was gree-green? Or w-wait, no, that's w-weird bec-because Esme likes th-that col-color. But your marr-married so you h-have to like the s-same color. Mom? Did I m-make my be-bed this morning, I hat-hate sleeping in-in an unmade bed. And dad how was gol-golfing? Did you have lot-lots of fun?"

" Bella, sweetheart, slow down." Esme said, patting my leg.

Carlisle cleared his throat " Okay, Isabella, pay attention, okay? When your head hit the floor your fractured your skull, effectively making a crack, and it will heal on it's own in about six to eight weeks. The crack is about a half inch long, so we didn't have to go in and fix anything. You have a welt on your cheek, which I will give you a cream that will help it heal quickly. Now if your vision is blurry, then it's okay because it's only temporary. And your headaches should be a little unpredictable and sporadic. We will have to give you medicine that will make you disoriented and maybe a little confused and talkative, but it will help dull the pain. The slurring of the speech should only last a day or two."

" Is...Is th-this gonna be for-forever?" I asked.

" No, honey, it's just for a little while." my father soothed. " Look we will be right outside, okay. We'll let you three talk."

They stepped out of the room, all sixteen of them, and shut the door. When I looked over at Alice, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them, my vision a little less blurry. I could see tears streaming down her face.

" Bella, I thought we lost you. You hit your head so hard." she cried, resting her forehead on my arm. " I was so fucking scared."

" I al-always bounce ba-back." I said, joking about the fact that my head did bounce off the hard floor.

" That's not funny."

" What are we going to do with you?" Edward asked quietly from the left side of me. I felt tears well up looking at him.

" I always find a wa-way to m- make this a-about me. We al-always fight o-or some-someone gets hurt. I-"

" Bella, stop. This was on Rosalie, she...fuck Bella she could of killed you if she slammed harder. I almost went over to her house just to do the same to her. I was scared, Bella. You didn't deserved to be dragged into it, and I know you didn't want to be."

" Well n-now we-we all know ho-how much R-Rosalie actually loves m-me."

Alice sighed " I can't believe.. I tried to stop her from coming over but she made me. And I knew if I didn't go then something more would of happened. And I couldn't stop it, Bella it's my fault."

" No, it's n-not yo-your fault. Wh-what happened on the dri-dr- drive. I-I can't remember."

" Well you threw up like...heck I don't even know. But it was all foamy and it was everywhere. You couldn't stop and Carlisle had to demand a bucket. It just kept coming up and up. Heck they had to dump it out once or twice. But you were dry heaving in the car and then they wheeled you to a room to get an x-ray. They said you have about a half inch crack in your skull, but that it could heal on it's own with time. I waited in the waiting room with everyone else. Apparently you didn't stop foaming until they gave you something the stop and they sedated you before going into the x-ray room. But I guess vomiting comes with fractures sometimes."

Edward gave a weak smile " I just raced over here as fast as I could and yelled at the receptionist that wouldn't give me directions as to find your room."

A few minutes later Carlisle came back in, and I asked when I could go home.

" Well we could take you tonight...but."

" Please, I wo-would just f-feel more comfortable in my-my own bed, not wearing a g-gown."

He nodded " Okay, I will have to keep you tonight, but Edward said he would want to stay if yo had to. I can dischare you tomorrow and you can go home. I'll be coming by a few times during the week just to make sure that you're going okay. I don't think that Charlie and Renee need to take time off, unless you feel like you need someone with you."

" I'll be alright."

" But... I'll have Edward stop by with food and check up."

I groaned " Don't...Don't pun-punish him, okay? H-He has beter th-things to do, then baby-babysit me. I'll be f-fine."

" I want to talk care of you, Bella." Edward argued.

"Y-You have eno-enough sh-shit...Fuck! I-I can't even sp-peak." I yelled loudly, fighting just throwing my head back and screaming.

Edward braced my wrists on either side of me and Carlisle left quietly, Esme replacing his spot.

" You have to calm down. Right now, Isabella." he said sternly.

" Your n-not my fath-father."

He sighed, rolling his bloodshot eyes " Well shut the hell up and rest!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away from him. Why was I about to cry? I took a deep breath.

" I-I wa-want to go h-home." I said quietly.

Suddenly I felt a lurch somewhere inside and I got up quickly, glad that I was wearing a pair of pajama pants under the stupid gown. I rushed inside the white bathroom and foam spilled from my mouth. My head hurt so badly, but I needed to get this out of my stomach.

Edward was by my side, holding my hair back and telling Esme to get Carlisle.

----

" CARLISLE! We need something, it's not stopping!" Edward shouted from next to me as my mother rubbed my back.

The foam was fucking coming out of me like a faucet, and I had no idea how to stop. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out and being dissected. Alice next to me was whispering soothing things, trying to get me to drink water, but the grey-ish colored foam was still spewing out.

Carlisle rushed into the bathroom and grabbed the IV rolling thing, injecting medicine that would work it's way into my body. He pushed the plunger down and as I spewed out more foam, I could feel my arm become slightly warm a few minutes later. The foam stopped and I felt myself become dizzy and tired.

I fell backwards into the arms of Edward, my world now dark.

Esme POV

When her small body fell back into the arms of my son, he had a look of panic on his face. He looked up at Carlisle, a very worried and alarmed expression on his face.

" What just happened? What did you give her?" he demanded.

" Something that will stop the foam."

Edward picked Isabella's limp form up from the ground, holding her head up gently by placing it on his shoulder. Carlisle stepped forward, prepared to take her from him when Edward stepped back.

" Don't touch her." I could see how defensive he was acting.

" Sweetheart, he wouldn't do anything to harm her. He was just helping her." I

said, rubbing his shoulder.

I heard him grumble something under his breath before he stalked into the room, still holding Isabella. He laid her gently down on the bed and scooted next to her, drawing her protectively into his arms. Alice slinked by her side, rubbing Isabella's arm as they both soothed her.

BPOV

When I awoke, I was slightly confused, but when I heard the heart monitor beeping, I knew where I was, and everything that had happened only a few hours ago. The room was still dark, but was lit by a few moniters.

Edward was laying next to me, and Alice had her body in a chair, but her head was laying on my leg. Edward's arms were holding me loosely, but protecitvely. My stomach was slightly burning a little, but I knew it was because of the endless foam. Luckily, I had no need to throw up.

--

Carlisle discharged me in the morning and my parents filled out the papers in the mean time. Alice headed home, her parents a little worried about her, the understood when she explained what happened. I knew that Rosalie called her because I could hear her screaming in the bathroom when she took the call.

Unfortunetly I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair, pissing me off and making me more upset. When we got in the car I stayed quiet, my head pounding uncomfortably the whole way. I was helped from the car, the dizziness still evident.

When I got into my bedroom I laid down in silence, throwing my pants to the floor and covering myself with the blankets. Edward stood awkwardly on the floor by my side.

" I know your still a little upset that I yelled at you yesterday. It's just been hard...These past few days."

" You-you can g-go home. I'll b-b-be fine."

" Don't just brush me off, Bella."

I sighed, closing my eyes. "E-Exactly. Y-You have en-enough to deal w-with. J-Just go."

He left without another word. I hoped that when I awoke, that I wouldn't slur like a drunken idiot. My eyes fluttered shut and I drifted off towards a dark world, filled with silence. Only it wasn't silent for long.

_Dream:_

_"Help." my pleading voice rasped._

_I was in the darkest of forrest's. The tree's hundreds of feet above me, twigs scattered and scraping against the skin of my legs. My body felt like it was put through a meat grinder. My head was aching horribly, and my throat was raw._

_When I lifted my hand, I could see blood, I was laying in a pool of blood, leaves and twigs. I could smell the rust and salt. It was burning my nostrils. My clothes were tattered, the white shirt barely covering my top half. My shorts were ripped up and my feet were bare._

_" Bella!" I heard a loud musical voice._

_As if I knew who it was, my head lifted " Edward." I called._

_I felt something behind me, pulling me backwards deeper into the forrest. My hands gripped at the ground, the tree roots, anything. When I looked behind me, I saw someone with bright red eyes and blonde hair. She looked crazed._

_" What makes you think you deserve him." she said in a playful voice, dragging me backwards._

_End Dream_

As I suddenly awoke, I was confused. That was the weirdest dream...atleast one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had in my life. That girl was just..ghastly...creepy. I couldn't explain in words how she looked to me.

When I glanced at the clock it was ten o' five. The light shining in my room was bad, due to my sensitivity to light. I heard my bedroom door open, and someone rushing to close the blinds. Once it was dark, a dim lamp came on. My head was still pulsing and aching.

" I'm sorry, I forgot." Edward said quietly.

" It's okay." I said slowly, trying not to slur

He set a plate of breakfast on my lap.

" You co-cooked?" I asked.

" I could try...for you." he said, kissing my cheek and sitting next to me.

Though the eggs were runny and the bacon was overcooked; it was the thought that mattered. I ate the toast, that tasted fine, and chewed on the crunchy bacon. I avoided the eggs, but gave Edward a small smile, making him give a weak smile back.

" I miss her...It's barely been a day. I feel like I've lost...more then half of who I am. More then half of the people I love." he murmured.

I rested my head on his shoulder, rubbing his arm gently. " I can p-promise you a f-few th-things."

He looked at me, his green eyes not sparkling. " What?"

"I-I'll always b-be here. No mat-matter what."

" I don't know how I could do without you if you left."

" Well, you d-don't ha-have to e-ever worry about th-that."

Fuck, the stuttering and slurring is back. He wrapped his arm around me. "Some guy out there is going to be so lucky to have you."

I smiled " What's n-not to-to l-love."

He chuckled "Your clumsy acts and mouth."

I glared.

" Rosalie called me, and she came by. She looked really upset and was demanding to see you. I told her off and shoved her out. But she deserved it."

" Still can-can't believe s-she did th-this. I wo-would of ne-never..."

" I know. Rosalie can be cold, but I can't believe that she went as far as to slam you down. Did you say something, maybe? I am not accusing you."

I couldn't tell him what I said. He would be pissed, absolutely pissed. There would be no doubt he would yell at me and get out of here. I sat up, frozen and staring down at my hands, more like glaring.

" Bella, did you say something?" he asked quietly.

" I-I..."

I blinked my eyes shut, trying not to focus on Edward, or the pain in my head.

Edward was in love with Tanya. And how was I suppost to tell him that I thought Tanya wasn't good enough for him. She was enough for him in Edward's eyes, and obviously in Rosalie's and Alice's eyes. My fingers fumbled together and I turned my head to the side.

" You can tell me."

This was one of those things I couldn't tell him.

After few moments of silence, he spoke once more.

" I won't pester you, it's okay. But it still doesn't matter, Rosalie had no right to hurt you like that."

-----

**Authors Note- Didn't know how to end it, so it goes like that. I hope you liked it...And I am sorry for Rosalie fans, but this is just how she is when it comes to people she is close to. **

**Thanks to all of you reviewers for all of the reviews, I don't reply to them, but I damn sure read all of them, and love every single one. **

**Review if you'd like.**


	20. Side Effects

**Authors Note- Surprise POV in this chapter, and a bonus POV, because I love all of you.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

Caution this medicine has side effects such as: Nausea, vomiting, dizziness and possible depression. If any of these are occuring excessively, then talk to your doctor because it could be serious.

Those words, were how I felt.

I had barely eaten, because it all came right back up, and I was so fucking dizzy and nauseous. My head was constantly hurting, so I just laid in bed all day, or by the toliet.

Carlisle had visited, and I begged for him to just let me stop taking them. They helped the headache and pain but I hated the side effects. I hated feeling the way I did. It didn't help that I had a actually depressed Edward coming over to check on me.

The bruises under his eyes were getting more visable, and he was getting thinner. Esme claimed that she made dinner every night, trying to make him eat, but he just threw it out without a thought.

I actually thought he was going to be okay after the day we talked a little, but he just seemed to get worse. I considered making him sleep in my bed with me since I was up, I could make sure he slept. My stomach was bad some nights so I didn't always get much sleep, and I had to sleep on my stomach because with my head directly on the pillow, hurt like a mother trucker.

I had taken a leave of absence at work, and luckily they understood my situation. We just told them that I had a bad spill on the stairs and fell on the stairs. I knew that they would question me when I went back to working, but I couldn't tell them the truth.

It was around three when Edward walked in. I was laying on my stomach, head off to the side. I had just showered and my hair was damp. I was just about to take a nap actually.

Edward's face was pale and a little gaunt looking. He was holding soup and a bottle of water.

" You need it more then me." I murmured.

He sighed " Are you going to say that each time I bring you food?"

" Yeah."

" I'm not hungry."

" Then get over here and take a fucking nap. Your face is starting to scare me. Your pale and look like a vampire who came out of it's crypt."

He scowled at me. "How about you eat, you barely eat."

" I'm nauseous. Your just not eating because your not. And you look awful thin, Edward. Please just eat a cracker or something."

" No, but I will take you up on that nap offer. My room is so fucking bright." he grumbled, curling up on my bed. His head lolled over to the pillow and he yawned. I considered resting my head on the other side to see him, but I knew that would cause some pain. I took a deep breath, once again closing my eyes to take a nap.

Edward wasn't in my bedroom when I awoke only an hour or so later. I started to come to the thought that he just said he was going to nap to appease me. Slowly I lifted my head up, letting out a big yawn. I got out of my bed and decided to take a shower.

I didn't let the water hit directly on my head, but washed my hair gently and slowly. I massaged it out and washed my body, I shaved my legs, because I slept in shorts and hair wouldn't be very attractive. I dried my body off quickly and wrapped a robe around me. I toweled my hair until it was damp and combed through it with ease.

When I walked into my bedroom to get some pajama's, I saw an exhausted Edward, passed face down on my bed. His arms were stretched out as well as his legs. I grabbed my loose school t-shirt with the logo, and a pair of blue shorts. I slipped my clothes on and headed downstairs, ready to take my medicine once more.

" Hello, darling." my mother said, standing from her spot on the couch to kiss my cheek.

" Feeling okay today?"

I shrugged " A little achey, but I figured I could make some dinner."

" Oh, your father and I made some salad thats in the fridge."

" I'm going to make something for, Edward."

She wrapped her arm around my waist " Even when you are the one who takes the hit, you are still an amazing friend."

" Well, he looks too scrawny. And he is already passed out on my bed so I figured I could make him something. Esme said that he hasn't been eating, so I figured I could get him to eat."

"Okay, well I will leave you to it. Your father and I are in the living room if you need us."

I smiled and opened up the cabinets, looking through what we had. When I spotted the raw packaged steak in the fridge, I grabbed it, ripping off the plastic wrapped. I found little red potatoes and chopped them up, seasoning the steak in the same time.

I seasoned the red potatoes with garlic and herb seasoning, salt and pepper and put that in the oven before broiling the steak. The food took about an hour to cook because the potatoes took long to soften up. But once they did, I broiled the steak, taking it out, flipping it over. I made a tangy sauce for it, one that I made often because Carlisle, Edward and my dad liked it. It almost tasted like A1 steak sauce, but different. Once the steak was done I put the potatoes on the plate, along with the steak and grabbed a spoon. I speared the sauce onto it, letting it drop onto the plate in a swirl design.

" Maybe you should consider Culinary school." my father piped up.

I laughed quietly " No, cooking isn't something I like doing all the time."

I picked up the plate, along with a fork and knife and headed upstairs. It was still steaming by the time I reached my bedroom. I opened the door quietly, and shut it the same. I set the plate gently on the end table and sat on the side of Edward.

"Edward," I whispered.

When I rested my hand on his shoulder he groaned " No, I don't want to play with the sea giraffes."

I stiffled a laugh " Edward, wake up."

" NO!" he yelled, shooting up in bed and almost hitting my forehead

" What's going on." he said clearly startled.

" I made your scrawny ass some dinner." I teased.

He plopped his head back into my pillow " You shouldn't have to do that."

" I shouldn't, but I did because I love you. So either eat it, or make me feel bad."

Edward sat up and I handed him the plate, along with the utensils and napkin that I had collected

" You never half ass anything." he mumbled, slathering his steak in the sauce.

I smiled and laid on my side, yawning loudly. " How are you doing?"

" Seriously?" he asked.

" Yes."

"I feel like...shit. I'm exhausted, and I haven't been able to sleep in that damn room of mine. It makes me feel more depressed. All the quietness is driving me fucking insane, it makes me want to shoot myself and get it over with. I feel horrible because you basically took a hit from queen bitch-a-lot about something that had nothing to do with you. That thing on your cheek is seriously mocking me. And lastly, I feel lonely. Like I want to run over to Tanya's house and beg for her to take it back. But at the same time, angry, because she went and pursued Tyler because I wouldn't give her sex. It makes me feel like I wasn't good enough, and like sex was all she was in it for. I don't even think she loved me, and that just...it fucking hurts like hell."

I frowned " I'm sorry my face mocks you."

He chuckled " Isabella, only you would make a joke about that... No, I just feel horrible."

" If your room is unsleepable then sleep in your living room."

" Don't like me crashing in your bed?"

" Jeez, Edward... Just out of a relationship and your already jumping into another bed."

He flicked my arm.

" I don't, just no taking the blankets, like you always do. Or shifting, because my head hurts like it was slammed into the floor...haha. And no cuddling, I'm not a rebound."

Edward laughed dryly " Slammed into the floor...hahaha, hahaha, ha- that is so not funny."

" I thought it was funny."

" Of course."

I shifted the covers so they were over my body, keeping me warm. I listened as Edward's fork scraped against the plate, along with the knife. When I heard the plate settling on the table, Edward sunk down next to me.

" Thank you, Izzy Pop. I have no idea what the hell I would do without you."

I wasn't even going to ask.

Cold...

Freezing cold...

No blanket...

The fan on...

Pillow somewhere unknown...

Cold...

When I lifted my head I groaned at the pain. I looked over at Edward, glaring at the sight. He was wrapped all in the blanket. His head on a pillow, but hugging mine to his chest. A weird, creepy smile was etched across his face, making me angry.

I grabbed the pillow, tugging it from his arms as he made a whimpering noise, grabbing for something. I knew he was lonely, but I couldn't take the cuddling. Not when he doesn't have the same feelings as I do. When his hand caught my shirt, I felt him inch closer.

When his body moved I made a grab for the blankets, only to have him wake, and tug back.

" Cold." he murmured.

He gave a harsh tug, making me pull forward, and my neck swing back from the force. My head head the hard headboard with a crack.

Holy fucking mary lord of fucking shitting god hell on Earth. My jaw dropped from the pain that shot through the back of my head. Now, I wanted to die. It was almost worse then the pain I felt when it all happened.

" Oh, shit. Bella? Don't pass out on me."

My eyes clenched shut, and I felt his hands come to cradle the back of my head. I balled my hands into fists and took a deep, shuttering breath. My knuckles were probably white with how hard they were fisted.

" Honey, Bella. Are you okay? Should I get my dad?"

_Edward called me honey._

" No." I rasped.

I tried to move from him, but he had moved his hands, pulling me so I rested by his side. His arm came around me, and his right hand reached to rub the back of my neck. My body slowly eased from being tense and I relaxed.

He kept massaging the back of my neck, and I felt him moving the blanket so it was also over me. I felt myself getting lost in the amazing feeling, my eyes fluttering closed. I was slowly slipping into sleep, still lost in the amazing feeling of his hand on the back of my neck.

Esme POV

I still hadn't heard from Edward after he had gone over to visit Isabella. I knew he was feeling horrible about what happened, but it truly wasn't his fault. Never did I understand why they both even befriended that blonde girl, she was never nice and similar to Tanya.

Renee and I spent time in the morning together, still working on the scrapbook of Edward and Isabella we were putting together. There were so many pictures of them, whether they be taken by Carlisle and I or Renee and Charlie. We had pictures of almost everyday of their lives. Hundreds of baby pictures of them.

We even had one of them when they were over a year old, and they had been crying. When we checked in the nursery, they were both hanging onto the railing, staring blankly at us when we opened the door, little mouths wide open in wonder. They were both giggling loudly upon seeing us, they were both big gigglers as kids. When we caught them sharing a secret, they were always giggling.

Both of them were just precious as kids. When little Isabella would get a scrape, bruise or scratch, Edward would kiss it right away and whisper that it would get better. He would put a band-aid on her and look out for her when it came to anything. Edward was always her protector

When lunch time rolled around, I decided to go upstairs to Isabella's bedroom to see if they would like a sandwich and pasta salad. The quietness behind the door told me that they were asleep, and I was glad because my poor son hadn't been sleeping, or eating.

I pushed the door open and saw the sweetest sight infront of my eyes. They were both laying side by side, Edward's left arm wrapped around her, and his hand coming to entwine with Bella's left hand. His right arm was reaching over as his hand lay behind Isabella's neck. Both of their faces facing eachothers.

I fumbled with the phone in my hand, snapping a picture just to capture this moment. I had so man pictures of these that I kept in secret, that's why I loved waking them up or seeing what they were doing. They were always holding or touching in some way, and it was adorable. They were just a gorgeous match. How could my son not see that?

How could he not see the pure love in her eyes.

Or the pure torture when he was with Tanya.

The longing...The deep connection?

EPOV

Depressed.

Sad.

Angry

Betrayed

Those four emotions had almost completely taken over my body. Betrayal and Depression being the two of the most part. I had given all of my love to someone who cheated on me, threw our relationship out the window for my so-called 'friend', I swear when I got my hands on him he would be sorry. He would be regretting the day he was born.

I would beat him up so fucking bad it would hurt to blink

What did he have that made Tanya cheat on me? Was sex all she wanted, or just a star quarterback because she is head cheerleader? She just betrayed me like it was nothing, and it had been going on for _months, _not a week...Not just a one time mistake. It was regular, she had said. And she proceeded to bash me on Bella and I's relationship.

' She was trying to break us up. Isabella Swan is a stupid, trashy, bitch... And for all I care, she can go back to London and jump off a fucking building.'

' You could never satisfy me anyways, you were nothing special to me that night, and you never will be. Even a desperate girl like Isabella Swan could be satisfied by your skills'

' Both of you are pathetic, your truly great for eachother'

All of the different things she has said to me that night, replaying in my head. The horrible things she said about Bella, the things that made me cringe and actually want to hit a girl. And how she raved about how Tyler is so much better, and that I was just a little fun. I was just for show.

Was I just nothing? Was I just a 'little fun'?

I've never felt like how I did. I gave her so much of my love, I handed her my heart, and she just crushed it. No women could be as disrespectful as she.

I wasn't surprised to hear about how she wasn't nice to Bella. After all the cruel, hateful things Tanya uttered about Bella, there was no surprise that. I just wanted to know what Tanya had said, but Bella had been really quiet. I knew that she had been trying to protect me, she didn't want to hurt me further.

She let me ruin her dress that night, her pillow, her shirt, and she didn't move when my tears ran down her neck. All she did was run her hands through my hair, telling me it would all be okay. And I felt loved, because I knew Bella would always be my best friend. She would always love me, and be there for me, because thats what friends are for.

I couldn't explain the devastation I felt when reality hit and it was over with Tanya...I felt horrible, but I knew that I would have to ease out of my feelings, and Bella helped. When Renee had come to my house, telling me of what Rose had done, I was shocked. Seeing Bella in that hospital bed, that welt on her cheek and her pale face... And Alice, how she was so fucking scared that Bella _died _because of such a hard slam.

The anger I harbored for Rosalie was almost similar to how I felt with Tanya. We all knew Rosalie and Tanya were close and they grew up together, Alice was close with her, but not as much as Rosalie.

When I got to the hospital that night, I was sure that I was going to get killed by how fast I was driving. I couldn't live in a world where Bella didn't exist. She is most of who I am. I can't go a day without seeing her without going absolutely psycho.

Last night, how she let me crash in her bed and made me dinner. Whilst she is still in a horrible amount of pain. I was still angry at myself for getting her head slammed into her iron headboard. I tried my hardest to comfort her, massaging the back of her neck slowly until she fell asleep, a light snore sounding.

I laid next to her, staring down at her.

Bella had changed alot from when she was younger. Her face had thinned out, loosing its round shape and becoming more oval-ish. Nose pointed and jaw more defined. Bella still had the same tiny body, but of course she has, as she would say 'developed'. Of course she was getting curves, hell she was almost eighteen, an adult. Her lips bright ruby, like they always were and her brown eyes rich. I knew that she would bring some man to his knee's with her beauty.

I knew that I had been giving Bella a hard time the past few months, and I made it right. I just hoped, that here on out, I could be the friend that she deserved, the friend that she wanted back.

My mother had woken me first that night, and then left, leaving me to wake up a tired Bella. She had to take her medicine now. I gently removed myself from my position beside her, setting her head down carefully.

"Time to wake up, Izzy Pop."

_Izzy Pop, _that name I came up with because of 'Iggy Pop'...'Izzy Pop' there was a resemblence. I was surprised last night when she didn't question. But I couldn't blame her, the girl had too many nicknames; Izzy, Izzy B, Iz, Iz B, Izzy Pop, Isabella, Bells, Bell and Bella. Thats nine nicknames to keep up with.

" You have to take your medicine, Iz..." no answer " Bella." I said louder. No answer "Isabella!"

Abruptly she awoke, sitting up fast, effectively making her head spin. She put her hand on the side of her head, blinking rapidly.

" What?"

" Medicine."

With a small groan of irritation, she laid back down, bringing the blankets back over her small body. Her grip on the blanket was tight, so I let her lay, leaving the room to bring the meds to her. I filled up a glass of water and grabbed the pills. I brought it back upstairs and set the glass on her end table.

" Come on, I brought it to you." I said quietly, peeling the blanket from her face.

She peeked up, taking the pills and swallowing them down with the cool water, before laying back down.

" How are you feeling?"

" Like my head was slammed into the floor."

What Bella didn't know...was that she just wasn't funny.

" I am being serious." I deadpanned.

Bella rolled over, burying her face in the pillow I had been laying on. I sat next to her, taking a deep breath before speaking.

" Thank you for letting me talk last night. It felt nice to get my emotions out, and I felt better talking to you and not my parents, or Emmett and Jasper."

She spun back over to lay on her back, looking up at me " It's what I am here for. I want you to be able to speak to me about anything."

Her fingers twisted in the comforter as she stared up at me. I brushed the hair in her face behind her ear, giving her a weak smile.

" Why do you think were such good friends?" she blurted, blushing immediatly " Sorry...I just... I wonder sometimes."

She didn't happen to be the only one who thought about it.

" I used to think it was because we were pushed together...But in a way we were. Like how our parents would go off and leave us with my grandparents or yours. We always talked to eachother when our parents weren't around. And it's not their fault, but it's probably a big reason."

" I mean, don't get me wrong, your an amazing friend, but we kind of had to confind in eachother. Our mothers would be working, crafting or doing something. And my dad was still chief of Medicine so he was always gone. I think Charlie was the one who was around the most, but we were always up in the bedrooms, doing something together or playing outside." I continued.

" I guess so."

I looked at her, seeing her head turned to the side, deep in thought. " And...Bella, you and I were just good friends. We liked similar things, and we enjoyed spending time together. And after all these years, we are still the same."

She bit her lip, nodding the slightest. " I need to get in the shower, now. Do you think you could make my bed, please."

I nodded and she slipped out of bed, stretching her arms above her head. She bent over to look at the calender hanging on the wall, a small frown spreading across her face

" What?" I asked, standing up.

" Today is Rosalie's Birthday...July 28th...It's already Friday."

I sighed " Bella, she doesn't deserve a Birthday wi-"

Just as I was speaking, Bella had raced straight into the bathroom, and I could hear her throwing up. She hadn't even aten anything. I slowly walked into the bedroom, reaching down to hold her hair up. After hacking up more until finally she wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet.

" Why do I have to feel like utter shit all the time?"

I helped her stand " Come on. Brush your teeth and shower, okay. Would you like to go out maybe, get some lunch at the diner."

" Edwa-"

" No complaining, okay. You need to get out of here, and we both know it. And I can't sit at home all day or hide out here. I need fresh air, and I think you have a case of cabin fever."

BPOV

Begrudgingly, I got into the shower, trying my hardest not to barf the whole time. I gently massaged the shampoo and conditionar into my hair, and washed my body with the bodywash on the small shelf. After washing and rinsing, I stepped out of my shower, wrapping a towel around my body. I brushed my teeth for a good five minutes and dried off. I slipped my robe on and grabbed my comb, I went through my whole head with the comb and picked up my blow dryer. I dried my hair within ten minutes, setting my blow dryer down when finished.

Edward was not in my room, so I closed and locked my door to dress. I grabbed a pair of cotton undies and one of my bra's to slip on. I eased a pair of medium wash straight jeans on, grabbing my Muse t-shirt and converse. I brushed my hair, noting that I needed a haircut soon. I put it in a low pony tail, letting my bangs sweep off to the side.

I put on minimal makeup and headed downstairs.

"Are you going out, darling?"

I jumped back in surprise hearing Esme. " Yeah, Edward and I are going to get lunch." I informed her, swinging my bag over my shoulder. "We should be back in a little while."

I opened the front door, met with a light breeze and the bright sun. I blinked before skipping down the stairs and walking across the lawn. Edward was standing next to his bike, helmet in hand. I looked at him skeptically.

" Come on." he said, handing me the helmet and straddling the bike, putting his own on. I slipped mine on, buckling it securely. I sat behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist tightly. It was only a moment before we took off down the road.

I enjoyed the ride to its fullest. When we pulled up to the curb, Edward parked easily and we stepped off, taking off our helmets. We walked into the store, and I was quite surprised to see Emmett at a table with his dad, William McCarty.

Edward and I got a table in the corner, taking a seat quickly. I yawned, leaning back in my chair.

" Don't get sleepy on me now." he muttered, scanning the menu.

I scowled, though he didn't see me. I picked up the menu, looking over everything. My stomach churned reading certain things, but I moved on and read the next. I ended up asking for a salad, wanting to take it easy on my stomach.

" Bella...Edward." I heard a hesitant Emmett ask beside us.

Emmett was never hesitant.

We both turned our heads " Hey, Emmett." we said in usion.

" Can I..." he trailed off, motioning to the extra chair.

I nodded and he took a seat, looking at me " I never found out what happened. Was everything okay?" he asked.

" Um... I ended up having to go to the hospital."

" It was just a concussion right."

Edward sighed, putting his menu down " How about we get this done with. Rosalie caused Bella to have a half inch crack in her skull, and she had been vomiting foam in the hospital until they gave her something and had to sedate her to take x-rays. Now, she is still vomiting because of the fracture, and has to wait for it to heal, whilst still suffering from headache's, nausea and tiredness." Edward stated firmly.

Emmett looked a little taken back " Edward, dude, I am not taking Rosalie's side on this. As a matter of fact I have been avoiding her because Tanya super-bitch, has been around all the fucking time. I told her that she had to apologize, but she just won't budge. I know she feels bad. I just thinks if she apologizes that she will be betraying Tanya in a way."

I could see every wince at her name.

" And about her, dude, you are fucking better off. She has been bat-shit crazy, not angry, sad or whatever but always acting like she is going some drugs or something. I've been avoiding her as much as possible."

Edward mumbled a "Whatever."

"Look, I can't drag Rose over, but I really am sorry, Bells. I didn't think it would go that far, and it had nothing to do with you. But I'll leave you two be, Get better, Bells."

I nodded and Emmett stood, taking a seat back by his father. Who looked slightly confused by observing the serious conversation we had just had. Edward seemed frozen in his spot, staring blankly at the table. I reached over, resting my hand over his.

" Edward, It's going to be alright."

" Bella, what exactly had Tanya said to you, when you were alone with her?"

" I don't thi-"

He glared.

" She used to call me a bitch, telling me that I would never have a chance with you in hell. I don't know, just all this random shit. She would always glare at me when you weren't looking, or...just be all over you infront of me."

" Why would she do that. It's not like we are dating! Why does everyone think that?!"

" Edward." I scolded, trying to calm him down " Look, okay. I don't know. It's probably the whole 'guys and girls can't be just friends'. But I can't do anything about it, and neither can you. People will get it eventually."

I was basically discouraging myself by saying this, but I couldn't go spewing my feelings now.

He laughed without humor " Eventually...Why couldn't I be as smart as you, and not date until I was in college or shit? Thats a great plan to me."

When his double cheese burger came, I looked at him skeptically " You best start training, Edward. The coach will be pissed when you are back at school."

"I'm done with football."

That triggered something inside " What?! Seriously! Your going to let her do that much damage?"

" What? It has nothing to do with her." he mumbled.

I rolled my eyes.

" The reason I mostly got into it was because she was on the team, and I wanted attention. Now, I just couldn't care less. All the training is just tiring, and the after school is a waste of time. I'll just work out at the gym or some shit to keep up. I just don't want to do football." he said with finality

I nodded, not wanting to push him further.

We ate our food silently and I paid the bill, all the while Edward scolding me.

" Thats's what _guys _do, Isabella."

I glared " We aren't on a date, so until we are, I can pay."

He paused, looking at me with the weirdest expression on his face.

I basically just expressed that he had to date me in order to pay. That probably sounded a little off to him and I felt like a total idiot for opening my mouth and saying that.

" Alright...Well, let's head out."

Fuck. Now I just weird him out. He just got out of a relationship! Was I flirting? Of course I was, fuck I just failed miserably and embarassed myself, infront of Edward, the guy I like.

" I am going to use the washroom real quick. Excuse me."

I didn't wait for a response, I just fled quickly to the bathroom. Nobody was there, so I stood infront of the mirror, glaring at myself.

" What the fuck is wrong with you! Did Rosalie crack your head up that bad that you said that!" I yelled at myself.

Suddenly I heard a door open, revealing an old lady, she looked angry as she glared and washed her hands. After grabbing a tea-towel, she dried her hands off, still glaring at me.

" Young girl, you need to learn to speak with respect and not use such fowl words." she spat, walking out.

I sighed, walking out a few moments later. Edward was outside, leaning against the window of the building.

" Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded " Yeah, lets go."

I walked infront of his unmoving figure, heading towards the motorcycle.

" You coming?" I asked over my shoulder, grabbing the helmet.

He stood next to me, putting his helmet on before getting on and starting it up. I sat behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and ready to be off.

He seemed deep in thought when I got off the motorcycle. His face was almost..confused. I set the helmet down and leaned against his Volvo. I watched him slowly as he glided along the driveway, pacing back and forth with the same deep in thought look on his face.

" What did you mean by what you said at the diner."

I sighed " It came out wrong. Just forget about it." I said, tucking stray pieces of hair behind my ear.

" Okay," he said quietly.

He wasn't going to let it go.

" Edward...Just let it go, I didn't mean anything about it."

That seemed to confuse him further.

" Well, I am going to head home. This sun is doing a number on me. Thanks for taking me out."

" You paid." he scoffed.

I ignored him, walking over the lawn to my house. I hoping to hell that he would just drop what I said.

**Authors Note- Filler-ish. Review if you wish.**


	21. Finally Found Myself

**Authors Note- READ END NOTES!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Chapter Song- The Kill by: 30 Seconds to Mars**

August 10th

Thursday

BPOV

" The Muse concert is this Sunday." I stated.

Edward smiled just the slighest and I was glad that I could get his spirits up.

" And since the new Album came out July 11th, it's a bonus. And the Muscle Museum/Showbiz." I said, refering to the Black Holes and Revelations album, along with the Origin of Symmetry/Showbiz/Absolution/Black Holes and Revelations.

He chuckled " Excited?"

" You're still going with me right?"

With a sharp nod, he laid on his back, stuffing his face into the white comforter of his bed. I took a seat in his desk chair, leaning back.

My symptoms had been slowly easing away, I was able to keep meals down more often and my headache's weren't as severe as they were. The nausea wasn't gone completely, but aslong as I kept my mind off food, then I was fine.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I hate this room."

" Why?"

He pointed to the middle of his room, the exact place where both Edward and Tanya declared their love for one another. I hated that place too, and this room. That bed was where I realized that I was in love with him. I sighed, leaning back further in the desk chair.

" What?! I just can't fucking stand it in here." he said angrily, throwing his pillow at the wall.

We headed downstairs, standing in the living room as Edward looked for a movie for us to watch. He picked up a movie, showing the cover to me and laughing. Holy shit, was that...porn? I took a step back laughter escaping me.

" Is...Is th-that porn?" I stuttered out between laughter

Edward nodded and laughed.

I backed up more, tripping over the back of the rug. I started to fall straight into the small glass table. Everything seemed to happen really quickly. I tried to grab the runner on the table, but dragged it down with me. The vase filled with pink rose's, rocks and water spilled over, the water splashing all over my shirt as I fell to the ground with the shards of glass all around me

First, Edward laughed, he laughed so hard that I saw tears leaking from the corner of his eyes. He stood from his spot on the floor, his eyes trained on my bicep. I could almost smell the salt and rust.

" MOM!!"

Carlisle stood in the dim lit kitchen, picking out the small peices of glass in my arm. There was a bowl next to him, a little water in it and he was dropping the bloody gauze into it. He had tools to stitch up the cut in my arm, and fabric to wrap around my arm.

" How did you do this again?"

" I saw something funny, laughed, walked backwards into the table and kaboom." I said, clearly exasperated

" Darling, I think we need to wrap you in bubble wrap for the rest of your life." he said in his thick accent.

I nodded and winced as he plucked another peice from my arm. Finally he put the tool down and started to stitch it up with the needle. He let out a deep sigh and chuckled down at my cut.

" I can only imagine how upset Edward was. He always cried when you got hurt, yet you were the strong one. When you first broke your arm at six, I remember seeing him at your hospital bed, full blown sobs wracking his little six-year-old self. I swear that boy is going to be protective of you until your dying day."

I sighed " It's a pain having a shadow sometimes, but I love him as stupid as he is."

" More like blind." I heard Carlisle mutter.

Panic...

Carlisle didn't know...did he? Was I seriously that obvious? I decided to just say nothing, why start up something and stress more over somebody other then James Laurent knowing, but it's not like a big deal that he knows, he's moving to London to go to a private school.

And the guys at Chicago Dough, the only one that I think would slip is Seth. He always does it, all the time. I think that Hayden would be too much of a chicken shit, and the guys wouldn't say anything unless I did something to piss them off.

He patched me up nicely and took out a match, striking it across the bottom of the cardboard folder. It lit up and he set it in the bowl, the bloody gauze burning. He sprayed my arm and wrapped the white bandage like material around my bicep.

" Now you've got yourself a good few weeks with this thing. Tomorrow I want you to come by the hospital so I can take an x-ray of your head, stop by in the afternoon." he said, grabbing the bowl that was now all ashes. He dumped the ashes into the trash and put the bowl in the dish washer.

I hopped off the table, dragging my sleeve over my arm. Esme came into the room, smiling at me.

" Darling, I think bubble wrap would be a great solution to you."

" You are not the only one who thinks as such." I said, motioning to Carlisle, who laughed.

He wrapped his arm around Esme's waist, kissing her temple lovingly. She smiled up at him, kissing his jaw in return. That was the kind of love that I wanted. Endless love, like my parents and Esme and Carlisle. I smiled at them and scratched the back of my neck.

" Well, I am going to go find Edward. He deserves an ass whipping for laughing at me." I said, skipping off.

" LANGUAGE!" they both yelled after me.

I laughed, darting up the stairs to the top floor. I knocked on Edward's door once before opening it. He didn't even notice my presence as he sat on the edge of his white cot, reading a book. I darted forward quickly towards him, pouncing infront of him and pushing him back with my arm against his neck. He fell back with a 'hmpf ', and I was kneeling between his legs.

" What's that for."

I smacked his chest, " For laughing at me when I got hurt."

I stood from my awkward spot and walked over to his bed, yawning and laying down.

" You haven't crashed here since last summer." he noted, not taking his eyes from his book.

The remote was laying on his table, so I switched it on, putting the volume on low and turned a movie on, which was 'The Notebook'. Edward groaned, clearly not liking the movie that I picked out. He deserved it for laughing at me.

" Can you please change it."

" Shh."

With my shoes thrown on the plush carpet, I wiggled my body under the fluffy covers, buring my face in Edward's pillow. Man did he smell good. Cinnamon, musk and boy. I sighed in contentment, breathing his scent in.

I listened to the movie more then I actually watched it. At some point I must of fallen asleep because I could feel Edward scooting me over. He was the person who liked to sleep on a certain side of a bed, and left was his side, as was mine. I could give it up for him, or go sleep on the cot. Bed was a good option.

" Come on, Isabella. Move your ass over."

He pushed against me, making me push back. I was too warm where I was at the moment. I felt his arms snake under my body, making me shudder. He lifted me slightly, and launched me over to the other side. I squealed loudly, and turned so I wouldn't land on my right bicep.

" So heavy." he grumbled, hopping into bed. I reached over and slapped his arm as hard as I could. I felt my hand sting from the slap.

" OW! Bella! That fucking hurt." he yelled.

" Never comment on a girls weight."

" Sorry," he complained, rolling onto his side.

I laid on my side, our backs facing, and shut my eyes tightly, willing myself to fall asleep.

" Please...Do-...Don't do this...Please... I love...I."

I was awoken by talking and thrashing. Edward was talking and moving frantically in his sleep, his legs hitting against mine in his movements. I wiped my eyes and yawned, leaning over to look at Edward's distressed body. He was having a nightmare, and it seemed to be about the night of the charity.

His flying hand was waving towards my head, and I dodged it.

My hand gently rested on his shoulder, shaking him awake. He thrashed harder and I whispered his name in his ear, sweeping his damp matted hair aside, finally he stilled. I watched him warily as he suddenly shot up, tears streaming down his face, along with sweat.

I sat up, leaning against the headboard as he sit up, hunched over and shaking. I leaned over, wrapping my arms around him and letting his head rest in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair.

" It's okay, Edward." I said quietly, leaning down to kiss his temple. He flinched, making my heart clench.

" Why couldn't I just be enough?" he asked.

" Edward, you are enough. Your more then anybody deserves." I answered

He dragged the back of his hand over his face, wiping the tears.

" That doesn't make me feel better."

Fuck, I was tired of the whining and truthfully, seeing him so upset over a girl, made me upset. I huffed, sitting straighter. I moved my hands and he shifted, looking up at me.

" Look, Edward, Tanya is a selfish, conceited, bitch. And if she is screwing someone else because you wouldn't have sex with her, it shows that she has no restraint and that is all she wants. She doesn't want a stable relationship, she wants a guy that she can show off. And thinking you aren't good enough...Edward you are twenty times better then her. You have value's, you have class, and you were raised with respect, something she has no idea what it is!" I exclaimed.

That made him shoot up. I stood up from his bed, my jeans all wrinkled. I grabbed my hoodie from his desk chair, knowing he would blow if I didn't leave.

" What fucking right do you have talking about her like that?" He asked, anger seeping into his voice.

" You know it's true, Edward. And I know it hurts, I know that your feelings are hurt. But I won't have this, I won't deal with how you are acting. One minute you are smiling and the next you look like you want to die. I am trying to be here for you as much as I can, but if you are always going to be like this over _her _then I obviously can't help you."

He scoffed " You know that my feelings are hurt, you don't know how I feel."

SHIT! I just wanted to scream at him that I felt bad when I saw my best friend loving someone else, when I wanted him to love me.

" Well, Edward, maybe I do. Maybe I have been hurt because of reasons that you are unaware of. Don't for one second believe you aren't the only one in the world, the only one who is hurt by a girlfriend, or a friend. Your not, and I understand that you are hurt, but I'll just give you space, give you time. Then, when you can somewhat get over this, you can feel free to come talk to me." I said calmly.

" What about the concert?"

" What about it?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair " Just go without me, ask James. I bet he'd love to go with you, since obviously you enjoy eachothers company."

Okay, that pissed me off, but I felt more hurt then angry.

" I-I-.." my voice broke off

I walked out of his room, closing the door and running down the stairs. It was only eight thirty, which was surprising to me, we had only slept about fourty five minutes. I walked out the front door, locking it up and walking towards my house, absolutely pissed.

When I reached home, my parents were laying on the couch together. I slammed the front door, running upstairs to my bedroom. They called my name, and I ignored them, going into my room and locking my door.

I paced and paced, then paced some more. My hand was running through my hair and pinching the bridge of my nose.

I was turning into Edward.

I stared at the concert tickets, that were mocking me. I didn't want to take James, I wanted to take Edward, and I had no clue as to if James was already in London. But I couldn't just run to Edward, giving him the satisfaction.

Jasper and Emmett weren't interested in the band, Alice wasn't either. And Rose was not an option. I felt bad about it, but I decided to go by myself, the lone ticket could sit alone and I would have a fine time by myself.

" I just want you to be careful, it's going to be crazy and alot of stop and go." my father informed me.

" I know, okay. I promise to be careful, you don't have to remind me every five minutes."

He took a long drink from his coffee, looking up from the Sunday paper.

"Would you like me to join you?"

" Can you please trust me. I. Will. Be. Fine."

Finally he said nothing about it, and kept on reading the paper. I finished up my muffin and orange juice and headed upstairs to get my clothes picked out, along with my bag so I wouldn't have to do it later. I didn't want to bring much, because I didn't want to loose anything.

I hadn't heard from Edward, but it had only been a few days and he had probably been pissed. I knew that he would be pissed at me for a little while, but he would come around. I had to trust that he eventually would. I didn't like fighting with him, but sometimes, you have got to do, what you got to do.

When we were younger, being apart for a day was never an option, we always saw eachother. Now that we are older, we just branch out, and I didn't like that feeling. The feeling that someday we would be apart and not have time for one another. I always wanted him in my life, even if he didn't want me as more then a friend.

One of these days, I would tell him, and there could be two outcomes. One: I would be completely crushed when being rejected. Two: I would smile in happiness, holding him in my arms. I was hoping for option two.

I picked up my ticket, glancing at the seat. I would be in section 202, Row: A, Seat:20. Edward would of been on my left if he had gone with me. I sighed, stuffing it into my bag and leaving the other ticket on the desk.

The concert was starting at 8:00pm, and I got into the shower at five thirty. I was going to wear my Muse concert t-shirt that I got when I was fourteen. It was a light blue and had the band members in the middle, Muse stamped infront of it. It was snug fitting and I matched it with a pair of black skinny jeans and wedges. I slipped my bracelet off, setting it down on the bathroom sink. I didn't want to lose it, Edward would flip his shit if I did. I draped my skull necklaces around my neck and pulled my pair back into a ponytail. My make-up was darker, but I didn't exactly care.

At six fifteen, I was all ready.

" I'm leaving!" I called.

" BE CAREFUL AND CALL WHEN YOU GET THERE!" I heard my mother shout from the backdoor, she must have been gardening with Esme.

I grabbed my keys and my bag, skipping down the stairs with excitement. Sure, I was going alone, but I wouldn't let that get me down. As an impulse, my head turned to the Cullen's home, and I was surprised to see Edward sitting on the porch steps, reading a book, paying to attention to anything else.

I hopped into my car, shutting the door and popping in my Muse cd. I rolled the windows down slightly, pulling out of the driveway.

Stop and go.

Stop and go.

Stop and fucking go.

CAN'T I JUST GO!

I was frusterated being surrounded by all the people that weren't moving at the pace I wished. People were cutting me off, making it tempting to flip the bird at them. My finger flipping and yelling was all in my head.

As I passed a resturaunt, I saw the All State Arena on my left. It was so busy, but this was Muse, everybody loved Muse. I worked my car through the crowd, finding a parking space that was far, by it was the first row when you walk out of the doors, parked on the left. I put up my ticket for my space, I had paid for it and all, and hopped out of my car, making sure it was locked.

I gripped my bag and walked towards the enterance. 101.9 had a set up on the side and music was playing loudly. There were girls walking around, short dresses and fooling around. I saw one flashing some guy in a car. No value's.

When I got inside, it was crazy, but expected. Forward to the left there were stairs that I had to climb. I think there was four flights. Over to my left, they were selling t-shirts. I bounced over, getting in line.

I took out cash, having two hundred dollars. I wanted to get Edward a shirt anyways, because I didn't want him to think I forgot about him. I wanted him to go with me, but with the conflict and his comment, that was the reason I didn't want him to go. Maybe he needed to learn that if he was going to act like an ass, he would be excluded.

The shirt I got was black, and Muse was in graffiti lettering with blue, orange, yellow and green for each letter. The back said 'Black Holes and Revalations Tour' on the back in white sprayed looking letters. Under the lettering in the back was the group in a signature position.

The one I got for Edward was the actual concert tee, with the different states they were playing at in the back, lined in two rows. He always liked the originals, and I knew that he would love this one.

When I heard a noise coming from above, I moved as quickly as possible. I darted up the four flights of stairs, upon reaching the top, I could see men checking tickets, making sure none were fake. Two police officers standing by the stairs.

" Isabella Swan! The Chiefs daughter, right?" I heard a low voice say.

Looking up I saw a man, he had bronze skin, dark almond shaped eyes and cropped hair. He was wearing a sheriff uniform. His gold nametag read; Billy Black.

I looked at him hesitantly " Yeah, I'm Isabella..."

He chuckled " Your accent is even deeper then your fathers. I'm Billy Black, I work with your dad. He talks endlessly about you, even has a picture of you and your mother."

Realization struck a little " Do you have twin daughters may I ask? Rachel and Rebecca."

That had been sophmores last year and I had seen them around once and awhile. Alice had apparently used to play with them when she was younger, but they grew apart when they both got into different activities and Alice focused more on Jasper and her school work.

Rachel had light blonde hair and blue eyes, and Rebecca had a light brown hair and the same blue eyes. They were both about the same in size, slim and a little short. Rachel was a flyer on the cheer squad team, and I think she used to be friends with Jessica. Rebecca was really into her studies, she was in alot of the school clubs.

A smile spread across his face " Yes they are. My son Jacob will be a Freshmen this year, just turned fourteen."

" Cool..."

" Okay, well I won't keep you, enjoy your night. Be careful."

I smiled " Thanks, you also."

I found the stairs that had 'A' spray painted in white. The guy checked over my ticket, approving me and I went all the way down the stairs until I saw the railing. When I found seat 20 off to the right, I sat down, seeing that I was basically right there infront of the stage, just up high. I kept my bag in my lap, not going to risk someone stealing it.

" Oh, baby don't you know I suffer?

Oh, baby can you hear me moan?

You caught me under false pretenses.

How long until you let me go?

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, you set my soul alight.

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, you set my soul alight

Glaciers melting in the dead of night,

and the superstars are sucked into

the supermassive.

Glaciers melting in the dead of night,

and the superstars and sucked into

the supermassive."

The music was just amazing seeing it live, rather then listening to it on an iPod, or watching the music video on youtube. I was silently singing along, though there was a girl behind me, standing on her seat, wearing a tight tube top, showing her stomach, and a short skirt, screaming the lyrics out. I had a bit of a headache, the pain from the crack still lingering like Carlisle informed me, but I tried to ignore it.

The lead singer, Matthew Bellamy, was absolutely great performing live, just as good as he is on a cd.

I enjoyed the concert to it's fullest. Loving every song, including Starlight, Nights of Cydonia, Glorious, Take a Bow, Soliders Poem and all the others. Starlight was the best one performed, it was entracing by the music and blaring lights, it all just caught my attention.

When they ended, smoke shot up around the stage and confetti fell from the ceiling somewhere. . Lights were blaring around and the noise got louder and louder, people sad to see the concert end. It was a good three hours long.

Slowly the smoke faded and the lights stop, the room filling up with regular lights just so people could file out. I stood for a good fifteen minutes until I could actually get out. I walked up the stairs, getting pushed and shoved. I got out alive, barely, and darted down the stairs.

When I got outside, I took a deep breath of the cool summer air. My head was pounding in pain, but it had been worth it.

I quickly got to my car, wanting to get out as quick as I could, but that was a lost cause. There was someone parked behind me, on both sides of me, and a line of cars infront of me. I was completely boxed in.

After literally a half hour, I wormed out, cutting someone off, but laughing because she was in total battle with me. I hopped onto the highway after getting out of the parking lot. Full of girls in short dresses and flashing guys.

When I got home, my father had waited up for me, making sure I was home safe. It was midnight by the time I walked through the door, I was yawning. I mumbled a goodnight to my father and trudged up the stairs to my bedroom.

I got into my room, and didn't bother with the light. I put my stuff down and shrugged out of my clothes, my shirt, jeans and shoes strayed around my bedroom. I slipped my bra off and went to my drawers, I just grabbed what I did, which was a tanktop. I put it on, not bothering with pants and jumped into bed.

Tomorrow, I decided, I would go for a run in the morning.

More like afternoon.

I awoke, yawning and stretching all over my bed. When I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, I sighed. I wished to feel the warmth of Edward's arms wrapped tightly around me. With one last yawn, I got up from my bed and slipped on a pair of shorts, walking downstairs in my tanktop and shorts.

Nobody was home, and it was very quiet. I grabbed an apple from the fridge, and poured a glass of water. I drowned the water and ate the apple before heading upstairs. I threw my hair up and grabbed my iPod, switching it on and heading downstairs.

When I got outside, it was quite hot outside. I went left, starting out in a jog.

My thoughts wandered to Edward as they always did.

I was so fucking tired of fighting with him. How far was it supposed to get us if we were constantly fighting with eachother? Not far at all. I missed doing so many things with him. Watching movies and playing video games in his basement, spending time with our friends regularly. And I think the weekend dinners were completely gone.

Finally, I just missed who he used to be. Edward never had that edge like he does now. He was constantly sweet and caring, no matter what. And when it came to the break-up, I understood that he needs time. Everybody needs time, but in that time, I didn't want him acting upset towards me.

The comments of Tanya probably should of been kept to myself, and I was probably better off not talking about her. At all.

I had been trying to get his attention, but now I realize, that this is who I am.

**Authors Note- **

**Okay, I know that it is late Wednesday, and I failed to update Tuesday. RL has been very bad for me, and I have tried to look past it but yesterday had gone very badly and I was in the ER. I hope you all can understand, I really hate not being able to update, but yesterday I couldn't get to the computer. I love all of you guys for all the reviews, I appreciate them more then you all know.**

**ALSO!!!!**

**I have a Twitter, and I will try to update daily to let ya'll know what I am doing when it comes to writing and updating, also talking about new stories I am writing. So follow me.**

**http://twitter(dot)com/Peterx73 **

**I also have the direct link in my profile at the top by my avatar.**


	22. Return of The Bitches

**Authors Note-**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Chapter Song- The Scientist by: Coldplay and; Never Let You Down by: The Verve Pipe**

BPOV

I ran all around the subdivision three times, sweat covering my whole entire body. My shirt was sticking to my shirt and I noted that last time I went running, to just wear a sports bra like most women do.

When I rounded to corner to my street, I saw a familar figure sitting on the Cullen's stairs to the front door. It was Edward- of course- and he was smoking a cigarette and leaning on the step behind him. When I reached my driveway, I stopped running and took a deep breath.

He looked over at me, eyes scanning my body. I quickly looked away and headed up to my front door. I reached into my pocket, seeing that I forgot my key. I growled and looked under the pot. Gone.

Now I would have to go over to the Cullens. I peeked over and saw that Edward was gone.

I jogged over and grabbed the key from under the eave. I unlocked the door quietly, I pushed it open and shut it slowly. As I walked through the hall, it was way to quiet. As I thought about it, I ran smack into something hard. I fell backwards straight on my ass and winced. When I looked up, I saw Edward.

" What are you doing?" Edward asked, biting into a pear.

I stood up, trying walking past him but he grabbed my arm and stopped me.

" You can't just walk in here."

I scoffed " Oh, really?"

I shoved him off me, and he stumbled. When I got to the kitchen I opened the drawer and saw my house key. As I reached for it, Edward had stole it from the drawer. I slammed the drawer shut and turned around, glaring at him hard.

He smirked at me and held the key up high, biting into his fruit.

" Give me the fucking key, Edward," I ground out between clenched teeth.

Edward wiggled the key, taunting me. I jumped trying to reach it, but failing and making him laugh at me. After a few failed jumps, I was completely pissed and ready to stab him with the sharp knives on the counter/

" If you don't give me the key then I will go into the art room and spread paint all over your music."

It didn't even sway him.

I jumped at him, effectively pushing him against the island and wrapped an arm around his neck, reaching up with my other hand. I was so close. When his head turned down, he got a great view of my chest. His hand faltered and I grabbed it quickly, jumping off.

" Don't mess with me, Cullen." I said, shoving him again.

As I walked towards the front door, he immediatly chased me and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back against his chest. I pulled at his arms tugging at his strong embrace.

" Your very out of line."

" Let me go."

No response.

I tried to shake him off, but to no avail " Let me go."

" Stop acting like such a bitch. I didn't do anything, you were the one who was talking trash about Tanya, you provoked me. I LOVED HER! What's not to get. Do you want me to walk around singing show tunes and drawing rainbows. What is wrong with being sad sometimes, huh? You walk around quiet. Not answering me when I ask what's wrong." he started " What are you hiding? Since the beginning of the summer, Isabella. What the fuck are you hiding that makes you so emotional all the time when you saw me with Tanya, or when I did something that you didn't like."

I was, once again, crying. He released me and I stumbled towards the door. I felt as if I were at my breaking point, and I wanted to tell him, so badly. But not at this time.

" What are you hiding?" he asked.

I shook my head " I-I-I can't tell you. You'd never understand."

" You won't even give me a chance to try and understand?"

" Look, Edward. You are my best friend, but I'm just not ready, and I don't think you are either."

" But your not giving me a chance!" he exclaimed

The tears that dripped down my face were quickly wiped away as he walked forward, wiping them. He wrapped his right arm around my waist, and his left hand was on my right cheek. I wanted to draw my body close to his, but I couldn't.

" Please."

I ripped away from him.

" I'm sorry, Edward. I just...I just can't. Try and break me down, but I just can't."

Quickly I darted out the front door, hearing Edward call my name softly. As I ran, my ponytail came loose, making my hair sway with the rushed movements. I unlocked my door and shoved it open. I leaned back against it, sliding down to the floor and letting the tears take over.

As the sobs wracked my body, my hand rested against my stomach as I lurked slightly forward. I felt the door behind me open and I slid with it. It slammed shut and a body sat next to me. Warm arms wrapped around me, holding me close.

"Shhh...Bella, baby...It's okay, I know. I understand." he whispered, taking me in his arms to rock me.

"I-I-I ca-can't."

" It's okay. Just please tell me if it was something I did, or if it affected your health. Did someone hurt you, Bella?"

I shook my head against his chest and another sob escaped my throat. He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter.

" It's okay. I promise you everything will be okay."

EPOV

At some point, she had cried herself into a deep sleep. We were still up against the front door, and she was in my lap, my arms wrapped around her small frame. Finally, I lifted her up in my arms and walked upstairs. Her breathing was steady against my neck and her arms were laying in her lap.

She had gone to a run and I could feel the back of her neck was a little sweaty. When I laid her in bed she rolled over and buried her face in the blankets. I slipped her gym shoes off and heard a painful groan from Bella. I sat on her bed, my legs folded. When I reached out, I slipped my hands around her waist, lifting her up to lay in my lap.

I tried to adjust her, but just ended up unfolding my legs and letting her rest her head in my lap. I ran my fingers through her silky, curly hair, staring out of her window blankly.

When she left the house, I knew that I couldn't not follow her. Yet, I find her, crying against her front door. Not even crying, full blown sobbing. I had desperately wanted to know what was going on, and I still do. What could be so upsetting for somebody to cry like that? I had thought maybe someone had hurt her, but she shook her head, denying it immediatly.

But I knew that I had to give her time. Pressuring her to tell me, wouldn't get my anywhere. But I was upset at her, upset at all the things she said about Tanya. She was out of line because she didn't know Tanya like I thought I did.

My thoughts went three hundred and sixty degrees with her. One minute I am completely in love, and the next I am despising. I would of never thought she would cheat on me, but she wanted sex. The same thing that every other teenage girl was after. I was hurt, and hearing someone talk trash abot it, triggers my feelings, because I realize that there are other people who thought of her badly, proving that I was basically an idiot for not seeing the truth.

Last night, I wanted to go to the concert with her, but after what happened, I didn't expect her to take me, because I had also said something that upset her.

James Laurent.

He's only a friend, she had said. But he wasn't a friend, he was a slimy creep that wanted to get into her pants, like any teenage boy. He was scum on the bottom of my designer dress shoes, something to be scraped off and thrown out.

Our parents were out today, insisting on getting the stuff on our school shopping lists. They also had to go to other places and were planning to get dinner. Of course I was not invited, nor Bella. They were always off being the best friends they were, and it left Bella and I. I think that is why we became such good friends, because even though they love us, they weren't around all the time, and we always went to eachother at that time. To talk, or share problems.

All the kids teased me, saying that we were dating, that was until I had a girlfriend, and all that stopped. No. I had Eric Yorke telling me that I probably had Bella on the side. I had more value's then _that. _That assumption was just wrong on many different levels.

Suddenly, Bella rolled over, her face pressed against my lower abdomen. I brushed her hair from her face and leaned back, getting myself lost in thoughts.

BPOV

Warm.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that my face was pressed against Edward's stomach. His fingers were running through my hair slowly, signalling that he was awake. My eyes were burning, and probably blood shot.

I sat up and Edward's fingers left. My hands rubbed over my face and I yawned.

" Hey, how are you feeling?"

" That won't ever happen again. I'm sorry that you had to deal with that." I said dryly.

He gripped my arm " Never apologize for that. I am always here when you need me."

When I got to the bathroom, I dabbed my eyes with a cold wet washcloth.

" Bella, sometimes, you need to let people help you. You are so independent that sometimes it drives me up a fucking wall. When people want to help; let them. And don't get so closed off when you realize that you let yourself go."

" Well, thank for telling me that, Edward. Maybe you should take your own advice."

" I am not starting this up with you, Isabella. This constant fighting, has to be put to an end sometime."

" It's not all my fault, Edward! I am not the only one who comments on things. I hate fighting with you, It makes me feel like shit. Not being able to talk to you isn't a great feeling either."

He sighed and opened his arms "Just hug me and lets call it a day."

I walked into his open arms and sighed. He kissed the side of my head and I walked out of his embrace, looking down at my clothes.

" I'm a mess. And I feel like a complete bitch for everything."

Edward sighed again.

" I had no right to say what I did. I just hate seeing you upset, and I hate that you felt that way over someone who cheated on you."

" Bella, I was bound to get hurt sometime. I was stupid to think she was the one. We just didn't know eachother like I thought we did. You know me better then she does."

I laughed " We almost have eighteen years of history, I can read you like a book."

He smiled at me " And I have yet to figure you out completely."

" One of these days, Cullen." I jumped to the side when he pinched my side.

I went to the bathroom and washed the dried sweat off my body, feeling cleaner every second of scrubbing. I was mortified that I let him hug me, let alone carry me, looking and smelling like that.

Once I was all cleaned up I got out of my shower and dried off. After I blew my hair out and styled the curls, I wrapped my robe around me, walking into my bedroom to dress. I heard clanking downstairs and rolled my eyes.

I dressed in a pair of jeans, white wifebeater and my converse. The bandage on my arm wasn't covered, but I could care less. My hair spilled down over my shoulders, it being alot longer because I hadn't cut it since the time at the mall. I wasn't that dedicated, what else can I say.

When I got downstairs, I saw Edward standing in the kitchen, looking frusterated.

" Want to go out for lunch? We can just stop at Panera, because I really want soup. My treat."

I somehow convinced him to go in my car, with myself driving. He hated my truck, though it was in great condition and basically brand new. He liked the Volvo or his motorcycle.

" Why do you drive this thing, you need a smaller car."

" I am not getting a Volvo, Edward. I'd rather not look stupid with a mom car."

He scowled at me and I slipped on my Aviator sunglasses, putting my window down to rest my arm out of the window, my elbow sticking out and the wind making my hair fly around. I heard him chuckle as I swung a right out of our subdivision.

" What?" I asked.

" Your hair."

I rolled my eyes.

We pulled up to Panera bread and I hopped out. I groaned when I saw a familar candy apple red Mercedes.

Rosalie.

Oh, and to make everything better, she was on the sidewalk, walking toward the enterance, arms linked with the ultimate bitch, Tanya Denali. They were both talking and laughing together, just having a good old time.

Beside me Edward tensed but slung his arm over my shoulders. I looked up at him, but he shrugged and started walking towards the enterance, trying to look nonchalant. He opened the door, making it before them and slammed it hard behind us, I could hear a small screech.

"Asshole." I heard Rosalie mutter, but then she growled slightly " Hmph, now he's with her. I would of just stayed with him, without mentioning Tyler. Atleast you could make sure that _she _never gets him."

" It was getting hard to cover it up, Rosie." I heard Tanya say.

Edward and I walked into the line, and his arm was still around me, but moved down to my waist. I was shocked at his behavior. Was he trying to play it off like we were together? I could feel familar stares burning holes in the back of my head. One of them already cracked my head, literally.

" Welcome to Panera bread, what can I get you today." A perky red head chirped.

We gave out our orders and Edward, to my dismay, paid for my meal and we went to the right to wait for his name to be called. He released my waist and grabbed my hand, walking me towards the soda fountain. I leaned close to him.

" What are you doing."

" What Tanya doesn't want me to do."

" Edward-"

" She messed with me, then I can fucking mess with her. Am I allowed no fun?"

I didn't answer, instead, I filled up my cup with Sierra Mist and grabbed a cap. I pressed it down and it clamped around the rim. I put a black straw into it and heard Edward's name. He kissed my forehead and left to retrieve our meals. I grabbed a table that was high, and had tall chairs. I settled myself and got my thoughts together.

What he was doing was total cliche, but hey, if I got a little lip action, I would be totally for it. Maybe a little bit of tongue...

Okay, that was probably pushing it, but I can still hope, and dream, and wish, an-.

Edward set the tray down and took a seat on the other side of the table. I grabbed my chicken noodle soup that was on the plate in a bowl, along with the chunk of bread they gave me. Edward took his Forest Mushroom soup and I bounced off the stool, needing salt and pepper.

Rosalie and Tanya were in a four seated table only three tables away from us, by the soda fountain. I watched as Tanya's stiletto adorned foot slid out infront of my path. I almost laughed. When I stepped over it, I could hear a snicker. I grabbed the salt and pepper and felt someone beside me.

" So, did I mess you up enough?" Rosalie whispered.

I whirled around " There is nothing to be proud about what you did. I can press charges anytime I want to, so watch your back. And keep your _friend _away from Edward and I. We don't need you, or Tanya, anywhere in our lives."

She glared at me and I pushed past her, walking back to the table. Edward watched me as I sat down and picked up my spoon.

" What happened?"

" Nothing, I just told her to keep her and her friend away from us, and that we don't need them. I also reminded her that I could press charges on her."

He rolled his eyes, looking down at his soup and taking a heaping spoonful. I peppered my soup and stirred it before taking a spoonful. The warmth spilled down my throat and I chewed on the carrots and chicken chunks. I dipped my bread into the broth, and it absorbed it. I bit into the dripping bread and smiled.

When I looked up, Edward held his spoon out to me, taunting me to taste his soup. My mouth closed around the spoon and I pulled back. I groaned low.

" That, my friend, is good."

He chuckled and bit into his bread.

We both finished off our soup and put it where the dish set-up was. I filled up my drink, as did Edward. When I was about to head off to the car, he grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face him, before I could say anything, he bent down and kissed the corner of my mouth.

Two gasps sounded and I wanted to slap Edward.

Clearly, he wanted me to die. My heart was racing and I was a tad scared.

He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, and pulled back a little before kissing the tip of my nose. Edward grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the door. When we were safely in my car, I slapped his arm with force.

" Ow!"

" They are going to fucking kill me when they see me at school. Better get, Rose will finish me off, with your ex at her side!"

He blushed.

" You basically kissed me right infront of them." I stated, feeling giddy, but sad because it was all an act.

" Lets just go, huh? The day is still new, and I want you to play for me."

" No."

" Bu-"

" I feel like painting, so how about you go chill with Jasper or something."

Edward begrudgingly called Jasper and went over to play Halo 2 and just chill. I went upstairs into the familar white room, seeing the blank canvas on it's stand. Today I felt more bold, I wanted to do more then just a peice of canvas, I wanted to open my mind.

I got out the paint and turned towards the front wall, no windows and it was a little small. Once my paint brush hit the plain white wall, the rest just came in beautiful colors of blue, silver, grey and white, even a little brown.

My wrist flicked in the different spot as if it had a mind of it's own. I couldn't actually believe all the work I had done on the wall, it was coming to life.

I didn't know if Esme would get upset seeing the wall painted over with art paint, and not regular wall paint. Carlisle could paint it over if he wished. I'd never painted a wall with my art talents, so this was new. The room got darker and darker, and I eventually flipped the switch on the crystal chandelier, light filling the room. My white shirt was now unwearable, as were my jeans.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing Esme. She looked shocked for a moment, and I paused. Carlisle appeared by her side, the same shocked expression on his face.

"I'm sorry!" I said " You can paint over it, I jus-"

" Paint over it?! Isabella, this is amazing, sweetheart."

I looked up at the beautiful picture of the forest. It was glistening from being wet, but looked nice nonetheless. They had a look of pure astoundment, it really wasn't that spectacular. I set my paintbrush in the cup of dirty water and wiped my hand over my forehead. When Carlisle laughed, I knew what I had done.

" How about you clean up in Edward's washroom. You've got.." he motioned to his own forehead.

I opened my arms wide and walked towards them " Hug, anyone."

Esme backed away, holding onto Carlisle's arm " No thanks, sweetie. We'll see you later."

I chuckled and started cleaning up my mess around the room. I folded the tarp and washed the brushes in the small sink that was installed on the wall. I put my brushes back and closed up the caps on the paint. Before I turned the light off, I looked back at my painting and smiled before shutting the door.

Esme was walking in the hallway and stopped me.

" I forgot to tell you. Edward called about forty minutes ago, and said he would be home in an hour. Are you staying over, dear?"

I nodded " Probably. I'll just steal a shirt from him." I laughed.

She kissed my cheek and bid me goodnight and I headed into Edward's room. I shut the door and headed to the bathroom, grabbing his facial scrub.

Yes, Edward Cullen uses facial scrub because he has breakouts, just like any other teenage boy, or girl. I wiped my face as good as I could to get the paint off, but then used the scrub to get it completely gone. I splashed my face with cool water and lifted my face, grabbing a washcloth to dry my face. I dried it quickly and threw the towel in the hamper, heading for his drawers.

I stripped my shirt off and turned it inside out, rolling it into a ball.

Then there was the door opening.

Fuck, the fucking lock that wasn't turned.

" WHY DO YOU NEVER LOCK THE DOOR!" he shouted.

Luckily, I was wearing a bra.

" You should of knocked!"

" It's my bedroom for fucks sake!"

Once I grabbed a shirt from his drawers, I slipped it on, closing the drawer and turning around to look at him.

" Sorry."

" Why were you stealing my shirt anyway?" he grumbled, stripping off his own shirt to put on a wife-beater.

Oh, that perfectly sculpted chest. So smooth, defined, hard but soft an-

" Bella."

I shook my head " Sorry... Um, I was painting and my shirt was covered in it, so I figured that I could take one of yours."

He sighed " You have like...five of my shirts at your house. Start stealing my dad's."

" NO! Ew, no."

" Why?"

" Because Esme probably wears them after..."

His face screwed up and he scoffed " Isabella, that is discusting, and not something we should speak of."

" Says the guy who _isn't _a virgin." I sang.

Edward scowled at me and I sat on his lounger, grabbing a blanket and pulling it over my body. I threw my pony tail somewhere in the room and took the remote, flipping on a movie, which just so happened to be Spiderman. I stole a pillow from his bed and rested my head on it.

Edward had gotten into his sleep clothes and crawled into his bed, his lamp on, big light off, a book in his hand and his glasses on his face. He stared at me, watching me shift around with the pillow.

" Oh, just get comfortable."

" If I wanted to get comfortable then I would sprawl in the middle of your bed."

He patted the spot beside him " You know that you can sleep up here with me. I crash in your bed all the time."

Hesitantly I scampered over to his bed, taking the black and white blanket with me. I put the pillow on his side and he turned the television off, I glared at him, but got into the bed anyways. I curled up, my back facing him and shut my eyes.

Eventually he turned off the lamp and shut his book, sinking down in the bed to lay down. Once the bed was still I tried to focus on sleep, and not that fact that he was beside me. It wasn't a big deal, we slept in eachothers bed since we were newborns. Why was this single time so different?

I internally groaned.

" What's wrong?"

or not...

" Nothing, I'm fine." I whispered, burrowing myself deeper in the blankets.

Smashed.

Overly heated.

Ugh...

Edward was seriously, never going to find a girlfriend who would put up with this. Now I on the other hand, didn't mind that much, but this was like being laid down and a punching bag being shoved onto my body. He is so freaking heavy!

He always found a way to wrap himself around and ontop someone. I wormed my top half out of his tight grasp and relaxed myself into get another deep sleep.

I woke up again around ten, and he wasn't completely wrapped around me. His arms were around my body and his face was nestled into my neck. I closed my eyes, trying to absorb the moment.

Then he shifted, squeezing me tighter. I heard a strangled noise coming from his mouth, and it sounded like he was in pain. When he was tightening his hold further on me and he was mumbling 'no', I started to shake him gently, wiping the sweat that had layered over his face. Now he was hurting me.

" Edward, wake up."

He shot up, legs kicking. I moved to the side, looking up at him.

" I'm sorry. But you looked like you were having a nightmare." I whispered, brushing my hair from my face.

" I was... Thanks."

He tossed the covers off him and stood up, stretching his arms above his head. I rubbed my eyes and stood, my jeans all wrinkled as well as the shirt. I grabbed my ponytail from the floor and threw my hair up in a messy bun.

I truly, did not want to stay up, so I collapsed back into Edward's bed, tucking the blankets under my chin and closing my eyes.

" Hey! No more sleeping, get out."

"I'm not going to sleep! I just don't want to get up yet."

He sat down, the bed shifting with his weight " I don't either."

Edward leaned his back on the headboard " Bella?" he asked.

" Yeah?"

" Don't take this the wrong way...But can I...Can you lay next to me?" he said, almost hesitant

I was about to say that I was laying next to him, but I knew what he was really talking about. When I turned over, he was looking at me, a weird look in his eye. When I scooted close, I laid awkwardly on my back next to him. He obviously wasn't having that. His arm wormed under my body and pushed so the left side of my body was laying on him. I hesitantly rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

**Authors Note- Random? Well, we got a little of a drama bit next chapter, then first day of school, and I best shut up before I give away the whole entire chapter.**

**Follow me on Twitter! The link is on the top of my Profile page!**


	23. A Drunken Epiphany

**Authors Note- I would of forgotten to post if someone didn't just review and say ; It's Tuesday'. So thank you reviewer.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

Saturday

August 19th

BPOV

The two days before school started out normal. I awoke, drinking a cup of coffee, taking my pain medicine for my arm. Carlisle made a quick stop over and changed the bandages on my arm, and patched me up before heading to work.

My mother had the day off today, and my father was working, so she was marinating chicken in the fridge. More like, I was marinating it. She can make breakfast food, but when it comes to a good dinner, she is a lost cause.

I cleaned up my room, sweeping the hardwood floor and vacuuming the rug. My bed was made and my wooden chair was polished. I cleaned off my computer screen, using windex and cleaning my television with the same solution.

I first knew something was off when I saw Edward's curtains pulled all the way along the glass wall, unable for me to see him. And when I texted him, he hadn't answered me. Esme and Carlisle were both working, so he was home alone.

At around six thirty, we ate the dinner that my mother and I had cooked up together. Edward was supposed to be there because we had planned it. That was the third off thing today and I was a little suspicious at this point.

" Honey, why don't you go see if he is alright. I'm a little worried." my mother said, cleaning off her plate. I sat up from my spot. She grabbed my plate and I thanked her.

" Alright. I will be back soon."

The chill of the night air made me grab a hoodie. I slipped it on and headed outside, walking through the grass to get to his front door. I unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Upon hearing something break, I slammed the door and ran upstairs to find the source. The noise echoed in the hallway, coming from the last door on the left. My steps became quicker.

Edward's Bedroom.

When I got by the door, I paused. I heard something shatter and ripping of paper. My hand decended on the handle and I pushed it down, opening up the door. I wasn't prepared for what I was about to see.

Obviously, he was drunk. I could tell by his eyes, though it was hard to see it through the pure rage. They were dialated and Edward looked enraged, terribly angry that I was almost scared...

On the floor, was shattered frames from pictures. On the floor, also lay a shattered snow globe that I had gotten for him before we left London. The sparkles and water seeping into the carpet. He took a long pull of his beer before grabing another frame, ripping the picture out and throwing it at the wall. I jumped at hearing it smash.

" Edward," I called.

When he looked at me, his eyes softened slightly.

Hesitantly I walked closer, he was gripping the beer in his hands with force. He picked something up from his desk and stared at it with hatred before throwing it in my direction. It drifted to the floor and I picked it up quickly when it fell in the water. I was it was a letter.

_Eddie-bear,_

_I had never wished to break up with you like I did. I still love you ever since the day we got together. We are meant to be. Seeing you the other day, broken up but trying to hide it, showed me we are meant to be forever. Tyler is out of the pic anyways. He isn't even good because you are better. I need us to be together. Please forgive me, baby. I promise that I won't ever hurt you._

_Tanya :)_

She wanted him back. And by his reaction, I think that he doesn't want her back. The writing was so childish and stupid, Tanya was delusional.

He took a swig from the bottle " You see. THIS is what I get. A shitty letter because her sex-toy doesn't want her anymore. And she thinks that I want something that my 'best friend' had. She probably has more STD's then she knows how to fucking count. That stupid bitch!" he screamed so loud I could almost feel the ground shaking.

I saw him shuffle through his drawers. Edward produced a lighter and a cigarette, he lit it, going from a swig of the beer, and a drag of the cigarette.

" What do you want me to say, Edward?" I asked.

He scoffed " You've already spoke your thoughts on her. And you know what? I fucking agree, I agree because she is a bitch. And you know what, she doesn't deserve to have me. I have values, and morals. But you know what sucks? Is that I thought it would last, and I gave it up to her. Fuck, I should go to the clinic to get checked out and make sure that skank didn't give me any of her disease's. I messed up, Bella. I messed up bad, but one thing I know. Is that I don't deserve you as a friend."

" Don't say that, Edward."

" IT'S FUCKING TRUE! Look at you. You are beautiful, smart, funny. I'm just messed up. Look at me." Edward yelled loudly.

I walked towards him, and he eyed me with caution.

" Just go, go home, leave!"

" You aren't messed up, Edward. Right now, you are hurt and confused. And it's okay. But breaking things and drinking. It's not good for you." I said.

He shook his head and I walked infront of him slowly. I grabbed the beer from his hands and set it down on his desk. Then I took his hands in mine and sat us both on the bed facing eachother.

" Do you truly realize how much you mean to me? We all go through a broken heart, you aren't the only guy out there. But the way you are handling it. Edward, you can't do this to yourself. I hate seeing you this way, seeing you like this makes me feel sad. Because I want to help, but I can't. I wish you could see all the potential you have."

He was quiet, but processing everything. I scooted forward, sitting up on my knees to wrap my arms around his neck. His arms snaked around my waist, pressing me close to his warm body. The way he clutched me was desperate, and my heart clenched for him.

" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry." He cried

" It's okay."

My heart literally broke into pieces as he started to cry into my neck.

Suddenly, I saw his bedroom door open. Carlisle stood, shocked at the mess of broken glass on the floor, I was just as shocked as he was at all of this. He looked up towards us, an upset look on his face.

" I'll just leave you two." He announced quietly, shutting the door behind him.

I didn't know if it was the fact that he was drunk that he was so emotional, but I had to be here for him. I reached into my pocket, dialing my home number. My mother picked up, worry evident in her voice.

"Ma, I can't make it home. There was a situation, and I have to take care of something."

" Isabella, what's wrong?"

I sighed, looking down at Edward " It's, Edward... But don't worry."

Once I bid her goodbye, I shoved my phone in the pocket of my denim shorts. Slowly I sat down and Edward shifted with me. He grabbed me and sat me in his lap, his face still buried in my neck. His tears dripped down my neck, and kind of uncomfortably down my shirt, but I wasn't about to move him.

I ran my hands through his hair, trying to soothe him the best that I could. His tears soaked my neck and my shirt. My hoodie had already been disposed when I had read the letter.

Eventually, he moved us to the middle of his bed. He laid on an awkward angle on his back, and I was laying over him in the same position. Edward sniffed every once in awhile as his finger twirled around a peice of my hair.

He didn't seem to be out of it anymore, but he had only drinked maybe three beers so he wasn't all that drunk in the first place. I think it was probably the anger that made him so upset. I yawned quietly and looked at him.

Edward didn't say anything, he just twirled that same piece of hair with his finger. But suddenly he gripped my arms, turning me over so that my chest was against his. He blindly reached for the blanket in the dark room, pulling it over us and wrapping his arms around me. Edward had scooted up so his head was on a pillow, and rested my face against his neck.

" Just stay with me," was a shaky response I received.

I let out a small hum and nodded.

I stayed with him until he fell into a deep sleep. As I moved away from him, I put a pillow in my spot. He grabbed onto it and I got out of the bed, stumbling slightly. I opened his bedroom door and shut it quietly behind me, not wanting to wake or startle him.

Upon reaching home I locked the door and trudged my tired body upstairs. When I got to my bedroom, I collapsed on my bed. Doing the usual and shoving my pants off, layering the blankets over my body for warmth.

I rolled over, letting myself succumb to a deep sleep.

First Day of School

Monday

August 21st

I awoke at six thirty, my brain telling me to just screw it and go back to sleep. The loud blaring of the alarm clock across my room is what got me going.

I deviced a plan to put it across my bedroom, so that I would be forced to get out of bed to make it stop. Brilliant plan if you ask me. When I got over to my desk, I slammed on the snooze button and went for the shower.

Half asleep, in the shower, I washed my hair and my body, yawning my way through it. Last night hadn't exactly been full of sleep. Edward had stayed over until four o'clock in the morning, forcing me to watch movies and stay awake. I would kill him later for it.

Quickly I dried off and dressed. A pair of distressed, straight leg jeans, a fitted dark blue, Aeropostale logo t-shirt. Paired with my converse. I wasn't in the mood to look fancy for the first day of school that I'd had three times in the same school.

I quickly changed the dressings on my cut, putting on some of the cream and put on more of the gauze just like Carlisle had showed me. I brushed my teeth, styled my hair and put on a little makeup. Messenger bag in hand, I headed downstairs to eat breakfast.

After stuffing down a blueberry muffin, I bid both of my parents goodbye and headed outside to Edward's. Per usual, he was leaning against his car, school bag in hand. When I looked at his appearance, I paused. Edward...Wearing converse? He hasn't worn his converse since freshmen year. He wore a pair of worn jeans and a button up. I stood infront of him, looking at his shoes.

" Don't ask," he said, pushing me in the direction of the hood. I walked around it and hopped in.

" Why not?"

" Because I said not to."

" Edward, why are you wearing converse?" I asked.

He sighed " Because I want to, okay?"

I leaned back in the seat, " Okay, okay. What ever your heart desires."

Upon arriving at school I saw all the familar faces. Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Lauren Mallory, Eric Yorkie and all of the other seniors that I knew as juniors last year. Both Edward and I stepped out of the car, he draped his arm around my shoulders.

" One more year in this hell hole, one more and we can get the fuck out of here."

I looked up at him " Hate it that much."

" Oh, yeah." he drawled.

As we got closer, I noticed Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. The tension was obviously there, and the way that Alice was staring at Rosalie, you'd think that she was stabbing her in her mind.I didn't want Alice to be upset at Rosalie because everything that happened with me. They'd been friends way before they even knew me, and it made me feel bad.

Edward dropped his arm and Alice whipped her head around, as if she could sense us.

" Bella!" she exclaimed, running towards me.

I'd swear, she acted like she hadn't seen me in a year. Her slim arms wrapped around me tightly and I hugged her loosely back.

" Another year! How exciting!"

I rolled my eyes " Only you would think it's exciting."

Emmett pealed himself away from an angry Rosalie and walked towards me hesitantly.

" I'm not mad at you, Em." I said quietly.

He nodded, wrapping his arm around my waist to pick me up and twirl me around. Emmett was still himself if the people around him were glum, that's what I loved about him. He set me down carefully and looked down at m arm.

" What happened to ye ol' arm?"

" Fell into a glass table. Nothing really out of the ordinary for me."

He chuckled " Of course."

Jasper stayed over by Rosalie, but I wasn't surprised. They were brother and sister and he was going to take the side of his sister. I wondered how that worked out for Alice. Emmett moved his arm and stood by Rosalie, who looked more pissed then she did a minute ago. I gripped my bag and walked past her into the school.

The first thing that I noticed, was Tyler. Draped over him like a curtain was Tanya, and she was kissing his neck and rubbing against him. Edward stood beside me, his gaze intense and straight ahead.

" Edward!" I heard her shout.

I did, what I thought would be best; I gripped his arm and walked us forward towards our lockers.

" Thank you." He said in a strangled whisper.

" Of course." I said, opening up my old locker and shoving my books inside.

" Hey, atleast we will be out of country for Christmas." I commented.

He groaned " Four months. God help me."

I closed my locker " I'm going to be here, Edward. Whenever you may need me, I will be."

Edward smiled and took his schedule out. He took mine and compared.

" My schedule; English, Algebra 2, History, Italian 2, Lunch, Biology and Gym. We have... Algebra, Lunch, Bio and Gym together."

My schedule is; History, Algebra 2, Spanish 1, English, Lunch, Biology and Gym. I smiled.

" See you second period." I said, heading off towards class.

The day had gone relatively smooth. Lunch was weird because Rosalie sat with Tanya. Jasper joined her, and of course, Alice and Emmett went with because they didn't want to look bad. So Edward and I sat alone. Picking at our food awkwardly.

" How about we drop out and become rockstars."

I laughed, eating a carrot " I wish. If it were that easy I would."

We finished our lunch and headed to Biology together. We sat in the middle row to the left, in the same seats. I was glad that we got to work together. Both of us were skilled in the subject, so we flew threw all of the partner assignments.

I was unable to play gym because they were doing Volleyball, and I couldn't bend my arm up correctly without breaking the stitches and bleeding. After class was over, Edward had dissapeared completely, and I couldn't find him.

When I got to our lockers he was still no longer in sight. I knew that he had gotten into a small fight with the coach about Football, but it wasn't enough to make him dart off. I heard noise outside, so I grabbed my stuff and walked towards the exit.

I walked down the cement steps and off to the right, I saw kids crowding around something. I went over to see what all the excitement was about.

Oh god have mercy.

I ran over to see what was going on, only to see Edward pummeling Tyler's face with his fist. Tanya was screaming and I could see teachers heading over. I pushed through everyone and grabbed Edward's shoulders roughly, trying to faze him.

" Edward! Knock it the fuck off, teachers are coming."

He just kept going. I contemplating kicking him in his shin, but that wouldn't work. I saw Alice on the side, smirking and clearly proud of Edward. Finally he seemed to calm down upon hearing the teachers yelling.

" BREAK IT UP. NOW!" Mr. Banner yelled.

Everyone scattered around and Edward got off of a bloody Tyler. He had a cut above his eyebrow that was bleeding, a terribly nose bleed and clearly a black eye was forming. The coach was standing next to Banner, looking pissed as hell.

" Detention, starting tomorrow until Friday. This is the first day of school, and congratulations, you three are the first to get detention."

Three?

" Cullen, Swan and Crowley, I will see you after school tomorrow."

" ME?! I didn't do anything." I argued.

" Want to make it Saturday detention, too?"

I shut up and walked towards Edward's car. Why the fuck did he have to do this? And get me dragged in, in the process

Edward caught up from behind me and I gripped my bag tightly.

" Are you pissed at me now?"

" Yeah! Why did you do that? Ignore him, he is trying to get a rise out of you."

I got into the car and slammed the door. He slinked into the driver seat, starting up the car and pulling out of the parking space. He gave me a glare from the corner of his eye and I looked at him, daring him to give me a reason as to why he was glaring.

" You didn't hear what he said, so stop talking."

" Jackass." I muttered

The car jerked as he hit the brake roughly. I slammed forward and was pushed back, the back of my head hitting the head rest, it may be softer, but it still hurt like a bitch because it was tender. I placed my hand on the back of my head and glared at my lap.

" I said stop talking." he said threw clenched teeth.

" I'll stop talking, when you stop being a jackass. How about you stop talking. And I don't know, stop beating up people just because they are no longer friends." I said, glaring back at him.

He got onto the road towards our house. " You want to know what he said? Huh, Isabella?"

" No, thanks. I don't give a shit."

But he didn't listen, just continued.

" That asshole, said that I was just some loser that people only liked because I was with Tanya, and that he has 'tapped that' since the first month Tanya started dating me. He said that I was better going back to where I came from, and that I was lucky that I got a little run with a hot girl because it was my last chance. Apparently I can't even keep a girl because I won't give her sex, which is obviously the main part of a relationship." Edward spat at me.

I sighed, staring out of the window. Soon we pulled up to the front of the house. I stepped out of the car and headed home.

" Are you angry at me?" he asked.

" I don't know, you tell me."

He said nothing and I kept heading towards my house. When I got inside I headed up to my room to do my first English assignment of the new school year. I had a small math assignment and a little Biology homework to keep me busy until I had to make dinner later on.

When four thirty rolled around I went downstairs to the kitchen to start up dinner. I got all of my ingredients together and grabbed a pan, along with a pot. I boiled water in a pot, sprinkling in some salt for seasoning, and poured a box of Rotini, Barilla noodles into it.

I took the olive oil from the cabinet and put a layer on the pan, letting it get hot. I chopped up two cloves from a garlic, smashing it with a knife and pealing off the skin. I diced them small and tossed them in with the olive oil. I cut a few handfulls of cherry tomatoes in half and put them in the pan with the garlic and oil.

We had fresh mozzarella in the fridge, so it was soft and smooth. I cut it into cubes and grabbed a big white bowl from the bottom cabinet.

I tasted the pasta to make sure it was soft enough, and drained the water out. I grabbed a fork and went over to pan. I pressed on the tomatoes with a fork, doing the same to all of them and then pouring the rotini into the bowl. I stirred up the mixture in the pan and poured it over the noodles. I put the mozzarella cubes in with the pasta and mixed it together, the cheese melting with the hot food.

Around ten minutes later the front door opened, revealing my parents. They set their things down and walked into the kitchen.

" I swear you are part Italian, sure you aren't Esme's and Edward isn't theirs." my mother joked.

I cracked a smile.

Even though Carlisle and Esme met in London, Esme was born in Italy, her mother is Italian, and father British, so she was half and half. They eventually moved to London when she was in her early teens, and she met my mother in Highschool, and Carlisle in her first year of college. Carlisle was the one who introduced Charlie to Renee.

" Thank you for making dinner, sweetheart. How was your first day of school?"

I scoffed " Would of been better if I didn't get detention."

My father eyes bugged out " What?!"

" Edward got into a fight and I tried to break it up. The teacher just gave me detention for no reason." I informed them.

" I swear I need to have another talk with that boy."

I wiped my mouth with a napkin " No, you don't...Look, things happen and I'll just deal with it."

Before I went to bed I had my mother help me change the dressings on my arm after I showered. I didn't want to have to take one in the morning so I had decided to take one tonight instead. After I was patched up, I did some reading with my lamp on.

Suddenly, my phone beside me buzzed. I grabbed for it and saw that it was from Edward.

_I'm sorry for what happened this afternoon, and getting you dragged into it when clearly you had nothing to do with it. Do you still want me to pick you up tomorrow morning?_

_-E_

I sighed, typing a reply.

_It's fine. I just wish you had some amount of restraint inside your body. Yes, you can still pick me up tomorrow. Unless you have someting more important to attend to in the morning, makes no difference to me._

_-B_

_No, nothing going on. Though I got a hot date with detention. _

_-E_

_Me, too. This stupid jackass got me roped into it._

_-B_

_Jackass?! Somebody is a little mean today._

_-E_

_Mean? You were the smart ass who got me into this mess!_

_-B_

_Love you, too, Isabella. You treat me with the most respect._

_-E_

_Damn straight, Cullen._

_-B_

_Want to study on Friday at my house? We got that Algebra quiz after we get through the section_

_-E_

_Sure. But I am heading off to sleep, night._

_-B_

_Night_

_-E_

" Welcome to detention...again. Now I have to grade papers so no talking. If I hear any talking, then we are here for an extra hour." Mr. Burke barked at us, sitting his self in a chair.

I leaned back in my seat, sighing deeply.

The first few days of detention were interesting. On Tuesday, it was my first time going to detention, I never had gotten detention before in my life. Since homework was light the first few days of school, I just did all of my homework there and was free at home. After all, what else was there to do in detention.

We had Mrs. Jennings on Wednesday, and she wasn't even there, so I spent the time talking with Edward. Mike Newton was throwing his annual party, since school had just started, this weekend. I for sure wasn't going to attend, and Edward said that he might go. At this point, I wasn't even going to cave if he begged me. I was basically sick of everything only a week into school.

I tapped my pencil against the table and felt someone tap my shoulder. Edward sat in the desk beside me, looking at his pencil that was half on, and half off the desk. I glared at him, shaking my head. Instead, he fisted his hand and hit the end of the pencil that was off the desk. It went flying backwards doing flips, and landed on the floor between desks.

Fuck, it was so hard to not laugh. I covered my mouth with my hand, keeping my teeth clenched shut. He coughed beside me, smiling. I smiled shyly back at him and looked down at the desk.

I endured two hours of the wretched detention until Edward dragged me out when the teacher fell asleep on the desk. Kids were making jokes about him and fooling around, one kid drew a heart on his cheekbone with a crayola marker before ditching the place. Edward pushed me out into the hallway, bursting out into loud laughter, I grabbed onto him, laughing along with him.

We headed outside, walking along the field towards his car.

" Who knew detention was so fucking entertaining." he joked. " I thou-"

He was interrupted by the sound of the football players and the cheerleaders walking along the campus. His eyes clenched shut and he gripped his bag. I reached my right hand out hesitantly to grab his left. For a second he tensed, but he unclenched his hand and gripped mine. I looked up at him.

" It's okay." I assured him, leading him towards the car.

" Thank you."

" For?"

" Being here. You make it better, easier."

" Thats what friends are for."

He sighed " But, your not just a friend, or a best friend. Your so much more then that, but not like family or anything. I can't explain it."

" I know what you mean. You don't have to elaborate."

Hesitantly, I leaned towards him and rested my head on his shoulder. He released my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. I just wished that this meant something more to him, like this was something romantic.

" If it isn't the new happy couple. Didn't take you long to get over me did it, Edward?"

Edward spun around to look at her. " Your not worth getting upset over. I should of known that a person like you wasn't capable of truly loving somebody, or capable of anything really. Goodbye, Tanya."

He grabbed my hand and made a bee-line for the car. I slipped in just as he did and looked at him and his panicked expression.

" You did a good job, Edward. Sticking up for yourself is the best thing to do."

" Really?"

" Yes...Now, I think we have some Algebra to study for."

When we got to my house, Edward was walking infront of me as we went up the stairs.

It's normal for me to stare at his ass...

We got into my bedroom and he plopped down on my bed, dropping his bag on the side. I sat next to him, my bag dropping a few feet away from his. I laid on my back, staring up at the boring white ceiling.

" So...Study?"

" No. Movies and Soda."

" But you wanted study."

" I say movies and soda."

**Authors Note- Alright, so tecnically this is chapter 22, forgetting about the prologue, and on chapter 28 (aka 29 on here) will be when the prologue occurs. The begining of June is when it will be posted. Everyone prepare yourselves.**


	24. Eighteen

**Authors Note- Hello, all. Happy Friday!**

**Lately I have been recieving messages to update more then two times a week. I understand your eagerness to get to the prologue, but if you all keep bugging me I will go straight back to once a week! I am as excited as you all are, but three times a week is pushing it. Sorry reviewers.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

September 5th

Tuesday

BPOV

Just another day that had gone awry, and had left me sitting in the musky warm meadow, crying my eyes out and sobbing, my chest heaving wildly. The feelings that were passing through my body felt too much to handle, and I couldn't stand being inside my own head anymore.

It started out like a regular day I awoke, showered, dressed, ate breakfast, and was soon riding the motorcycle to school with Edward. My classes went okay, except from the usual glares that I recieved from an angry Tanya. There was another empty lunch period, just Edward and I sitting awkwardly, with none of our friends by our side. Alice tried to convince Jasper to sit with us, but he stuck by Rosalie. Emmett of course, didn't bother with Rosalie because we all know how she feels about me.

After school I had a four hour shift at Chicago Dough. I went home with Edward, changed and drove off downtown. As I walked in, I was called straight into the office because Kevin, my good friend and the Manager, needed to talk to me. I knew then that something wasn't right. I wondered if I did something, but all I could come up with was that maybe he was giving me a raise or a promotion. That made me excited, but then I saw his face.

" Take a seat, Bella."

The feeling of dread flooded my body as I sat in the leather chair, fidgeting with my fingers and bouncing my leg up and down, not able to control the nervous habit. My hand ran through my hair and Kevin leaned back in the chair, looking apologetic. There was a few minutes of silence before he started to talk.

" We've decided to let you go, Bella. And this isn't anything personal, but my cousin Anthony needs a job, and since he is family we let him take over cashier, so we don't need you anymore with Seth and Hayden here. I'm really sorry that there was no warning, but I have to do what I have to do."

I turned in my red, scratchy apron, but was able to keep my hat and name tag. Hayden gave me a bitter smile, making me want to slap him, and Seth gave me a tight hug, letting me leave with tears threatening to spill over. Not only did they feel like family to me, but I felt like I was being betrayed, and I need to find a job.

They knew that my family and I weren't the best on money, because Chief Police didn't make that much, and my mothers job normally paid for food and part of the morgage.

When I headed home, I was already very upset at the days events. I pulled up to my driveway, looking over to Edward's to see Tanya Denali's car parked in the driveway. The stupid white sedan mocking me.

My eyes landed on the porch when I stepped out from my car, and what I saw, devasted me. Tanya was pressed tightly against Edward, hand in his hair and lips attached to his. I could clearly see that he was kissing her back. My heart lurched and I ran back to my car.

Fuck, I need to be out of here.

Where I ended up, was the meadow. I let myself fall against the moss covered tree, loud sobs escaping my mouth. There were purple flowers scattered on the ground, the whole area open and the sun lighting it up brilliantly.

That's how my heart ended up mangled and destroyed.

He took her back.

After all that he has put himself through, and everything that I've been put through over it.

And he just takes her back.

I curled myself into a ball, my hands fisting in the jacket I wore, and my head pointed down, chin touching my chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around my knee's, crying into them loudly. I knew that leaves were tangled in the crazy mess of hair, but I couldn't seem to care.

Soon, it started to drizzle lightly, but I laid in my spot, letting my body empty it self of all the anguish and devastation.

Distantly I heard my cell phone ring. Different songs played, signalling different people calling. I don't know exactly how long I laid there, but after the eleventh phone call, I decided it was best to get up, head home and go on like I always do.

My legs were wobbly and my vision was slightly blurred, but I made it through the meadow. When I got into the driver seat, I sat for a few minutes, staring blankly at the forrest infront of me. Eventually I started the car up and headed home.

When I reached home, The Cullens and my parents were outside, phones in hand. There gaze went on me when they heard me pull up. I cut the engine and got out, walking past them to the front door.

" ISABELLA! Where have you been, we been worried."

I turned around, looking at the group of people. Edward looked confused, but worried.

" It's been a long day. I got fired from work and...him." I said, nodding towards Edward slightly and darting into the house.

" What did you do!" they shouted

" I DONT KNOW! Bella, wait up!" He yelled.

Slowly, I walked upstairs, hearing Edward behind me. He grabbed my arm, stopping me from moving up anymore stairs.

" Why are you acting so out of it? What the hell were you doing, Bella?"

I laughed without humor " Nothing."

I jerked my arm from his grasp and ran down the hall to my bedroom. I slammed the door and locked it. Angrily I threw my phone at the wall, hearing it shatter into pieces onto the floor. My door flew open, revealing Edward.

" What the fuck is your issue today? I can see you've been crying."

" YOU! You are my issue. You are always my issue because... Fuck, Edward... I-I-I-I..." I stuttered out, but I couldn't continue.

_I love you._

The words screamed at me, begging to be released.

" Why can't you tell me! If whatever happened the beginning of that summer is eating at you so badly, then tell me! I won't judge you Bella, I swear I won't!" he exclaimed.

I clenched my teeth shut.

" What's wrong?" he whispered.

" I got fired today, because it's a stupid family buisness and I am not family. I drove home today and I pulled in the driveway. I saw Tanya's car in the driveway... Was it really that easy to get back with her, Edward? Really? Because you just crumbled!"

" What do you mean?"

" I saw you kissing her, Edward. I'm not blind."

The tears were blurring my vision and I turned away.

If he saw me crying over it, it would completely blow my cover. Not now, I still wasn't ready.

" Bella, I-"

" Just go, please." I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

" No, I will not leave. Especially in this state. Where were you? There are leaves tangled in your hair."

I sighed " The meadow."

" Why didn't you come to me when you were upset."

" I wanted to, but she was there."

" Bella, nothing happened. I swear. Look, she came over and - Can you please turn around?"

I looked down and faced him. He stepped forward, putting his finger under my chin and pulling my face up. I stared into his brilliant, bright, green eyes.

" Don't hide from me." he whispered.

When he started to lean forward, I pushed back.

" She came over and what?"

He sighed " And... The doorbell rang whilst I was doing homework. I saw her and it was...it was too much and I told her to leave. She kissed me, Bella. I was trying to get her off me, biting her lip in the process to get her off me. I told her that she was dead to me, non-existent, and that it was best that she leave me alone. You didn't see that, Bella. But that's what happened. That's all."

" But what I can't gather...Is why you are so upset about it, so wrapped up in it." he continued.

" I should shower. I'm not decent, excuse me."

Edward was too quick for that " No, you are not leaving."

" What are you going to do about it."

I darted into the bathroom quickly, slamming the door and locking it. He struggled with the knob before I heard muttered Italian. I started up the water and plucked the leaves from my hair, once finished, I hopped into the shower, washing off the woodsy smell that I had.

I finished showering and got out, drying off quickly. I slipped on a pair of discarded shorts and a racerback that had been folded on the counter. My hair was tossed in a damp pile ontop of my head. With a long breath, I stepped out of my bathroom, seeing Edward pacing back and forth. Finally, he turned on me.

" You are the most stubbornest girl that I have ever met."

I tossed the towel and clothes in my hamper, crawling into bed right after. Edward sat beside me on the edge of the bed.

" Speak to me."

" What do you want me to say?" I asked, looking under my eyelashes at him.

" Why are you so wrapped up in it? Why has Tanya and I's encounters been so hard on you? I-I don't understand.

_Because I love you, you idiot._

" I'm really tired, and I have school tomorrow. It's best I get sleep." I said quietly.

Wednesday

September 13th

I was really quiet for the next few days. I didn't want to talk about what Edward was pressuring me about. My parents were still baffled about everything, and my mother was just ignoring everything. Esme kept giving me this apologetic glances that made me wary, but I ignored it the best I could.

My phone hadn't been replaced, and hell, I enjoyed the quietness.

But today was now my eighteenth Birthday, and now I was officially an adult. And today Edward was also officially an adult. I still remember the day that we were five and running around the neighborhood, playing tag and fooling around.

" So I've realized that pressuring you about the subject doesn't make it better, and when you are ready to talk, I am always here. I convinced our parents to let us stay home, and we have an appointment at one, and here is a cupcake. Two actually, but one is for me."

I looked up at him, seeing him holding two cupcakes, chocolate cake and chocolate frosting with blue and white candles in the middle, lit up. He sat down and motioned for me to sit up. Edward held the plate between us and we both bent down slightly to blow them out.

_I wish that in the next year, life will be much less complicated then it is now._

We gobbled down the cupcakes and Edward laid in my bed next to me. I looked up at him hesitantly.

" Appointment?"

" Yeah, at the tattoo shop downtown. Still got that sketch?"

I smiled lightly " Yeah. Do you really want to get it done?"

"Only if you do."

I nodded " Of course."

" I figured we could also get you a new phone."

" Yeah, I would like that."

Edward bent his head to the side, resting his cheek upon my head. His hand gently rubbed my arm, and I could feel the slight love in the action.

I stepped into my bedroom, the cool air hitting my slightly damp skin and creating goosebumps. I dug through my closet, trying to find something nice to wear. I grabbed a dark blue scoop neck shirt, denim dark wash skinny jeans that went to my ankle, and a cream colored cardigan with loose short sleeves, a tie and two pockets in the front. I slipped all my clothes on a matched it with a pair of light orange and cream pumps.

I did my hair, curling it nicely and letting my bangs fall in my face. Once I did my makeup I turned off the bathroom light and headed downstairs with my sketch, I needed to check it over to make sure everything was perfect.

My parents greeted me downstairs, along with Carlisle and Esme, they seemed to be grilling Edward about the whole tattoo idea.

" This isn't something that you wash off in the shower, Edward."

" Don't get all pissed at me, Bella is getting it too. She drew the sketch and everything. I told you guys about it."

When Edward stood, I almost drooled at the sight infront of me. How was it that he looked good in anything. He had on a dark grey and black stripped swear that was fitted, a white wife-beater peeking out underneath, his jeans were medium wash and he had on a pair of sneakers to match. Ontop of his head, he also wore that damn hat of his.

" Is that the sketch?" he asked.

I nodded and set it down on the table, taking a seat next to Esme. I opened up my book and went to the familar page. A gasp sounded next to me as I took out one of my pencils.

" That's beautiful!" Esme exclaimed, leaning over to look.

" It's not that special."

" It's all so bright, and all the lines are perfect. Where do you both want to get it?"

" Back." we said in usion.

I looked over at Edward, a little surprised. He hadn't told me where he wanted it exactly, just that he wanted it done.

"I want to get it on my upper back, between my shoulder blades but a tad lower."

Fuck, I was nervous.

Edward seemed perfectly at ease, but I was gripping the sketch book with force. My leg was bouncing nervously as Edward pulled the parking lot of a white building. It was downtown and many stores were flocked around it.

The place was headlined as ' Tattoo', but it was called Chicago Ink from what Edward had told me. He opened my door for me, pulling at my hand to walk in.

" If you are too scared then we don't have to." he whispered as he opened the door.

I shook my head and walked in, trying to munster up all the confidence that I knew I had buried somewhere inside. He smiled and walked up to the counter. The place was open and there were guitars and posters along the red walls, it didn't seem dark like I pictured. Two people were on the leather tables, getting work done.

A lady was sitting at the counter, tattoo's covering her arms, along with a few piercings, but she didn't look mean or intimidating.

" Excuse me." Edward said polietly.

She looked at him like he was crazy for being in here.

" Can I help you?"

Edward pulled me to his side " Yes, you can help us. I have an appointed for two people, at one o'clock."

She looked at her computer " Edward and Isabella?"

" Yes."

" Alright, give me a sec."

She went into a back room at the back of the place, and came back with two people. One was a man, he had built arms with tattoo's covering every in of skin except his face. While his left arm was all black and white, the other was colorful and bright. He had a snake going up his neck, and it was truly a work of art. The smaller girl next to him didn't have as many, but you could see a cherry blossom tree wrapping around her side. She had on a bathing suit top and a loose, white tanktop, that was ripped on the sides and hanging together by a few inchs.

They leaned on the counter and I set down my sketch pad. I flipped it open to the page and turned it towards him.

" I had drawn it myself, and I had wondered if you could re-draw it so we could get it tattoo'd.

" Wow, this is amazing, so much detail. I'm guessing you are both from United Kingdom?"

" Yes."

" Cool, very cool. Alright, well Pete and I will get started, I'm Carrie by the way."

I nodded and Edward and I sat in a plush looking couch, talking quietly as the tattoo artists drew out the picture.

" So, where do you want to go for dinner? The usual?"

" I don't really know." I answered.

About forty minutes later Carrie and Pete walked up to us, leading us to the stations. We were set up close together and we sat on the leather table-like surface.

" Alright, so where do you wish to have it?"

" In between my shoulder blades, but a little lower."

She nodded " Do you have a bathing suit top or something with you. Your bra is just fine."

I mentally sweared at myself, but sighed.

" I don't have a bathing suit top with me, but I can make due with my bra."

After telling me where the bathroom was, I escaped and locked the door. I tossed my hair up in a messy bun so it wouldn't be in the way, and then took off my cardigan and shirt. I kept my shirt against the front of me as I walked out. She took out the stencil and pasted it onto my back for me, leading me to a mirror to see if it was where I wanted it.

" Looks absolutely great."

" Great! Now sit here, just put your legs on either side, facing the back of the chair."

I set my cardigan down and did as she said. When I looked over, I could see Edward talking to Pete as he was getting his stencil on. Edward without a shirt, absolutely amazing. Soon he was in the same position I was, about two feet away.

" So, is this your first tattoo?"

" Yes it is. I've wanted to get one for as long as I can remember."

She laughed " Yeah. So how old are you?"

" Eighteen today."

" Oh, cool. Happy Birthday."

" Thanks."

We talked about different things as she worked on my back, and it hurt a little, but not to the point of complaining about it. It was comfortable pain if that made any sense. As she worked higher, she instructed me to lean forward in the chair.

I was slightly embarassed, because if Edward or Pete looked forward at me, there would be quite a show. I couldn't exactly shift my arms, because that would make me move and mess Carrie up.

" How long have you both known eachother?" Pete asked.

" Since birth, we grew up together."

" When did you two get together?"

Why in the hell does everyone think we are together? Not that I am opposed to the thought, but Edward is and it only makes things worse.

" W-We aren't together." he stuttered out.

" Sorry man...You both just seem like your together. I get the vibe."

Amen, Pete!

I scolded myself for the childish thoughts.

About an hour later, I heard the buzzing stop and liquid on my back. Carrie rubbed my back down and helped me stand.

" Here, take a look."

She handed me a mirror and I stood with my back to the bigger one, I held the smaller one up to see my back.

It was absolutely beautiful, right down to the beautiful color of the lion, to the rich color of red in the flag. I gave Carrie and half hug and thanked her for the tattoo. Edward was just getting finished up so I walked over to him, showing him my tattoo before it had to be patched up.

" Wow, it looks amazing, Bella."

I smiled and turned to Carrie. I set my shirt down so she could put on the gauze, plastic wrap and tape. Once she was finished I put my shirt back on and tied my cardigan. Edward got his finished off and I marveled in how beautiful and bright it was. We paid for everything and thanked them before heading out.

" Well, that was fun."

Edward and I stopped at an AT&T store to pick up a new phone, we told them that it had broken and I purchased a similar phone to my old one. My numbers were transfered, because I luckily had my contacts written down. My pictures and vids, obviously were not saved. I got my number back and Edward of course had to text everyone about it.

When we got back home everyone wanted to see the tattoo's, but we promised to show them when we could take the bandage off, we had to wait eight hours until anything could touch it. The sun was shining brightly through my windows as I walked into my bedroom to set my bag down. I slipped off the cardigan and sat down on my bed with a huff.

My phone rang and it was Alice, I picked it up, putting it to my ear.

" Happy Birthday!" I heard Emmett and Alice say in usion.

I laughed " Thanks guys."

" We are coming over later, bearing gifts, and no complaining. We are going to go to Chili's, and I've already talked it over with your parents, does it sound good?"

" Yeah, sure. Thanks, Alice. You, too, Emmett!"

" Bye!" they exclaimed.

I smiled, a real smile, and hung up the phone.

" Your smiling. What's got that on your face?" a voice suddenly asked. I looked up and saw Esme.

I looked at her, confused.

" You haven't been happy for awhile, sweetheart. Those fake smiles are easy to see through, Edward may not see it, but I can."

I sighed " Nothing has been going right lately. I just want to live in peace."

She nodded in understanding " I'm not going to push you Isabella, but if you ever need to talk about anything, I am here."

" Thanks, Esme."

She hugged me to her side " Isabella, I've always thought of you like my own family, like the daughter I never had. And I would do anything to make you happy."

I gave her a smile " Thank you, that means alot to me."

We talked for a little while longer before heading downstairs, where we were met by the sight of Edward with his shirt off - completely turning me into a stuttering mess- showing the tattoo to my parents and Carlisle.

" Edward! You aren't supposed to take that off!" Esme exclaimed beside me.

" When have you known me to play by the rules." he smirked.

" Never. Your father and I used to have to tape you into your diaper because you always tore the thing apart. I swear, stubbornest child, almost as bad as Isabella."

I scowled.

" Want to see the guns?" he asked everyone

" Put your shirt back on, nobody wants to see your ribs and scrawny arms."

" Oh, shut up."

What it really sounded like was : Eh shet ep.

" Don't speak like that to me, young man."

He chuckled " Not really, but sorry mother. I love you."

I headed into the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water, drinking it down slowly.

We basically hung around the house, keeping an eye on Edward who was curious as to what was under the blue and silver wrapping paper. Today we were just collecting all of the gifts here, and after Edward and I came back from dinner we would have cake and open the gifts.

At around five twenty the doorbell rang, I went to get my cardigan while Edward answered the door. I bounded downstairs and was attacked by a tiny girl and a large man. Emmett let go first, and picked Edward up, squishing him and shaking back and forth.

" I can't breath, and I think I lost feeling in my body." Edward gasped.

" How many for tonight." a busty red head asked as she grabbed for menu's.

" Four." Alice chirped happily.

" Right this way, please."

She led us to a square table and Edward polietly held my seat out. I sat down and he went to push forward, but he made it look as if he was unable to do it.

" Better lay off the desert." he commented.

I slapped his arm with force and pushed my chair in myself. The waitress handed me my menu and walked to Edward, bending down to give him a show, and set his menu infront of him. I clenched my teeth, fighting the urge to slap her.

Not mine.

He does not belong to me.

Alice stiffled a giggle as she straightened up with a smile.

Edward coughed and looked at the waitress " Claudia, is it? I would appreciate if you could get a new waitress...Preferably a _waiter_." he said polietly, drinking the water that was set on the table.

She huffed " Whatever, your loss, honey."

" Not really." Edward muttered under his breath as she walked away.

Emmett boomed out a laugh " Dude, are you gay now. She was totally hot, skinny, long legs, huge bo-"

" I am not attracted to the other sex, I just do not prefer a women that likes to flash her assets at me. I need a more reserved girl."

Pick me!

Now my thoughts were just getting plain old childish.

" Reserved! Edward, where are you going to find a girl like that?...the only example I can come up with is Bella over here. Even I have a little slut in me!" Alice exclaimed loudly.

I blushed a deep red.

" Oooh, does Bella have a little cr-"

" Hello, I am, Luke your new waiter. Sorry about Claudia, she is a little much sometimes. But what can I get you all to drink?"

" Strawberry Lemonade." I said

He nodded, jotting it down.

"Iced tea, no sugar." Alice ordered, not taking her eyes from her menu.

" Bud light." Emmett said.

We glared and he laughed.

" Just kidding! Haha, sorry man. Pepsi is good."

" Sprite." Edward answered tightly.

The guy smiled and left to go get the drinks. Alice looked over at Edward.

" Whats wrong, don't like that one either?" Alice grilled.

Edward looked right back at Alice " I don't appreciate how he was staring at Bella."

Emmett and Alice stared at us " What's wrong with you two? I mean, you could totally tell Bella was pissed when the waitress was flirting with you, and when the waiter is looking at Bella, now you are angry. What's up with that?"

We both said absolutely nothing.

The waiter came back, setting the drinks down. I looked up to get a good look at him.

Okay, he was really cute. He has brown hair and grey eyes, that really didn't seem so dull. He had a thin, built body and was maybe an inch taller then Edward. I stared at him for a moment and he smiled at me. He has really nice, straight and white teeth.

" Would you like an appetizers?"

" Oh, can we get some boneless buffalo wings, with ranch sauce?" Emmett said.

" Of course, I'll be right back with that, or do you already know what you want?"

I noticed that everyone was still glancing at the menu " Just give us a few more minutes." I said.

" No problem, I will be right back."

He walked away, and yes, I checked out his ass for a second. Alice squealed loudly and leaned over.

"Okay, you were totally checking him out, that is like the first guy you have ever checked out. And he is so into you."

I shrugged

Emmett groaned " Such girls."

Alice slapped his arm " This is the first time Bella has ever been remotely interested in a guy. Break through I tell you."

" Well, Eddie over here does not seem pleased." Emmett mumbled.

I looked over at Edward, who wore a scowl on his face. I set my menu down.

" What's wrong."

" Nothing." he said through clenched teeth.

He grumbled something under his breath and looked back at his menu. A few minutes later our waiter came back, setting the wings down in the middle of the table before turning to me with his paper and pen.

" What can I get you?"

" I would like the Cajun pasta and a side of loaded potatoes, please."

" And what soup would you like? We have Chicken Enchilada, Sweet Corn and Chicken and Green Chile soup."

" Chicken and Green Chile soup sounds good." I answered

He smiled at me and jotted it down.

For a moment I actually forgot about how much I was in love with Edward.

" And for you miss?" he asked Alice.

Alice winked at me and looked at him " Can I get the fried shrimp, with black beans."

" Soup or salad?" he asked.

" Salad. Grilled BBQ Chicken Salad."

" Alrighty, and for you sir?" he asked Emmett.

He gave a wide grin before giving his order " Jalapeno Smokehouse Bacon Burger, side of fries."

" And for you, sir?" he asked.

Edward glared at him before giving his order " Bacon Ranch Chicken Quesadilla's." he stated whilst shoving the menu at the guy.

After collecting the menu's he left to go put the orders in. I looked over at Edward, resting my hand on his arm. His shoulders seemed to drop and he relaxed.

I did that!

" Stop being mean, Edward."

He looked in the other direction and I stood up abruptly, heading towards the bathroom. As I was making a sharp right, I ran right into someone. I looked up and saw it was Luke, our waiter. He steadied me before I fell, his hand on my waist.

" You okay, I'm really sorry." he apologized.

" Yeah." I breathed. " Sorry, I was just in a hurry and I wasn't bothering to look where I was."

" Just be glad I wasn't carrying your order." he joked.

I laughed " Yeah, I wouldn't appreciate that at all, chicken is better to eat, not wear."

He laughed along " Agreed... Well, I have other tables, sorry again."

A smile appeared on my face " No problem, sorry for keeping you."

I stepped around him and headed to the bathroom.

I used the washroom and quickly washed my hands. I made my way back to the table, still seeing a bitter look on Edward's face, after taking my seat, Alice smiled at me. I stared back at her, wonder why in the hell she could be smiling like that.

" Bump into Luke on the way?" she asked with a giggle.

" I did, but someone at this table would rather not hear about it, so I best not speak about it."

Alice slapped Edward's arm " Ruin the fun why don't you."

Edward glared back at her, then at me " Talk about your new friend all you want. I don't give a fuck."

My mouth dropped " Edward, stop acting like a jealous, petulant child."

He scoffed " Jealous? Yeah, okay."

I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself calm. About ten minutes later Luke came with the food on a huge round tray, he set it on a holder and handed out the food. He brung us refills for our drinks and left.

I picked up my fork and knife, cutting up the chicken and then eating the chunks of it with the pasta. It was really quiet at the table, nobody daring the speak. Emmett took huge bites from his burger, and I stiffled a laugh watching him eat. I knew he was trying to make us laugh.

The seasonings in the pasta were delicious, along with the chicken. I ate about half of it, and decided that I could take the rest home if I was hungry later. I sipped my strawberry lemonade quietly and Luke came back.

" Can I get you anything?" he asked polietly.

" Can I get a box?" I asked.

He smiled " Of course. Anybody else."

" I would like one." Edward said dryly.

" Okay. That it?"

They nodded and he went to get the boxes, he came back quickly and I scooped my food into the box, closing it up and marking it as mine with a pen. Edward did the same with his sandwich, surprisingly he hadn't even aten a half of it, maybe a fourth.

When he came back, he took the plates and asked us if we wanted desert.

" Can I get the molten chocolate cake." asked Alice.

" Of course."

" Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie." Emmett announced

" Red Velvet and Double Chocolate Fudge Brownie Sweet Shot." I said.

"Cinnamon Roll and Key Lime shot."

Luke nodded " Right on it."

" Oh, my jesus. This is amazing!" Alice said, shoveling the cake in her mouth.

I spooned out the Fudge Brownie shot, it was warm and delicious. I groaned and swallowed, taking a spoonful of the Red Velvet. It was most definately the best dessert I had ever tasted from a resturaunt.

We polished off our deserts and as part of a present, Emmett and Alice split the bill. I have them both a hug and thanked them for that. As I grabbed my bag and walked behind them towards the exit, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, seeing Luke.

" I know that I don't know you, or hell, your first name. But do you think I could call you sometime?"

I had to say, I was shocked.

" I'm Isabella, but you can call me Bella." I said.

" It fits."

I took out a peice of paper, jotting my number down with a nervous and shaking hand. I handed him my number, which was on the back of an old receipt.

"Here... Sorry it's not on anything fancy."

He laughed " It's fine...I'll call you soon. And it will probably be tomorrow because I don't think I can wait three days."

I smiled " Okay, I'll see you around."

**Authors Note- When they got to Chili's, the chapter started to write itself. The rest of the Birthday, much like the last, will continue on in the next chapter.**


	25. Halloween From Hell

**Authors Note- Happy Tuesday!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

We drove back over to my house, Esme and Carlisle in the living room with my parents watching a Lifetime movie. My father was drinking a beer, along with Carlisle. When they heard us, they stood from their spot and headed to the kitchen to greet us.

A cake was on the table. It was a perfectly shaped rectangle cake with chocolate frosting layered over it. In straight, non-sloppy, blue lettering was ' Happy Birthday Edward & Bella '. We were told to take our seat across from eachother and Carlisle lit twenty candles, we both got one for good luck. Alice hit the lights and they started singing the Birthday song.

When it was time to blow out the candles, I made a simple wish.

I blew at the same time Edward did and leaned back as they clapped. Alice turned the lights back on and my mother grabbed a knife to cut the cake. Edward and I didn't eat now because we had already eaten only a little while ago. Emmett gobbled down a huge chunk and when everyone finished eating their cake, Esme said that it was time for us to open our presents. Alice handed us our presents first, a huge smile on her face.

I ripped the bright pink wrapping paper, rolling my eyes at her pick of paper. It was a square box, unusually shaped. When the paper was completely off, I saw it was a silver chest. She encouraged me to open it and I saw that it was filled with a whole mess of make-up.

" It's not a way of telling you that you are ugly, but you need more then just that silver eye shadow."

With a smile I reached over to embrace her in a big hug, whispering my thanks in her ear. She squeezed me back and hugged Edward briefly. She had gotten him a few movies and CD's that he had been wanting, along with a Mudvayne band t-shirt.

Emmett shoved a present in my direction, and I knew what it was. He liked to get me eccentric gifts, he happened to be the one to get me knee high converse. It was a smaller gift, and I opened up the green paper. There was a smaller white box, I opened it up and saw a bracelet, in rainbow colored wires it was twisted into a bracelet, there was a letter ' I ' charm on it, for my name.

" Oh, this is so cool, Em."

I fastened it around my wrist and gave him a tight hug. After their presents were open, they had to leave because they were meeting Jasper and Rosalie. I was a little bit dissapointed, but I had to get over it.. Edward and I thanked them for the dinner and gifts and let them go.

From Esme and Carlisle I had recieved a two hundred dollar visa gift card.

Edward got a four hundred dollar visa gift card from his parents.

From both of my parents I recieved an iTunes card, a wireless card for my old laptop, more canvas, paints and paint brushes, a few books, leather bound journals for my music and a few clothing articles.

Edward got many different randoms from my parents.

When it came to the gifts that Edward and I got eachother, our parents left us to ourselfs. Carlisle and Esme headed home and my parents went upstairs. I could see that Edward was still a little upset over what happened at dinner. I tossed my gift on the table and told him to open it as I cleaned up the dishes from the cake.

I heard the ripping of the wrapping paper and the small gasp of disbelief.

" W-Wh-Where did you find this?" he spluttered

" In that old shop we found downtown, it was buried beneath all of the other records."

" This must of cost alot of money. Signature and everything."

" Price doesn't matter." I stated, drying the dishes and putting them in the cabinet neatly.

When I turned around I hadn't seen he was behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist tightly. I stayed rooted, not hugging him back. He wretched away from me, turning his back.

" I always hurt you. I always find a twisted way to do it and end up hurting you, over and over again. It always happens and I can't stop myself, and I don't want it to happen. I've always wanted you to be happy, and I promised I wouldn't hurt you, but I only did it again."

Edward picked up his gift, it was definately bigger then mine.

" I need to make up for it somehow, and this is how I thought to do it."

Slowly I ripped off the blue sparkly paper, seeing a plain white cardboard box underneath the wrapping. I opened it up and my jaw completely dropped down to the floor in shock. I couldn't believe he'd done this.

" This is too much."

" Bella, you got me a signed Debussy record. This is nothing compared."

Inside was a brand new Mac PC, It was silver and had the white apple smack in the middle of the latop. This damn thing ran for over a thousand dollars because of how nice it supposedly runs.

" Thank you, so much. I-I don't know what to say except for thank you."

" Thats good enough. Hell, I don't deserve a thank you."

I took a seat at the table, my elbow propped up and my head resting in my hand.

" Why were you so upset that somene showed an interest in me?" I asked bluntly.

He froze for a moment before speaking shakily " I'm protective when it comes to people who are important to me."

" Edward, some day I will want to settle down, get married and have children. But I don't want you getting all bitter when someone actually wants that with me. And I am not saying it about that guy, just in general. And some day, you will want the same, and I won't be like that."

" You were bitter when it came to Tanya!" he accused.

I sighed " I am not going to get into it about her with you. But, Edward, Tanya wasn't who she was trying to play herself as. I'm very protecive of you, too. When the right women comes along for you, then I will rest assure that you will be loved, which is all that I want. I want you to be happy with the right women. Not just one who tries to make herself something that you will want." my voice was slightly raised, but I wasn't yelling at him.

_I want you to be happy with me. _I thought silently.

He let out something between a growl and a sigh.

" I think we should just be friends like how we have been for eighteen years, and...stop being jealous."

I started backing away towards the stairs as I said the last part, knowing it would get a rise out of him. Edward launched for me, locking his arms around my waist and swinging me around. I yelped and he set me down, only for me to loose my balance on the heels, breaking one and falling backwards.

Trying to not hit the floor, I grabbed the hem of Edward's shirt, and he bent over, but grabbed the banister and I fell.

" Jackass! You made me break my heel!" I screeched.

He took my hand and pulled me up. I slipped my heels off, shoving the broken left one in his direction.

" You, mister, are buying me a new shoe. May it be even then."

He scoffed and I walked infront of him to walk up the stairs. When I reached my bedroom, Edward was close behind. I tossed my shoe on the floor, grabbing for the one Edward was awkwardly holding.

" If you'll excuse me a moment."

I went to the bathroom and stripped my clothes off. When I took off the wrap for my tattoo, I looked at it in the mirror. It was was a beautiful work of art, and I would carry it on my body forever now. With a sigh I changed into a tanktop and a pair of flannel pants. I brushed my teeth and scrubbed my face, throwing my hair in a high pony tail before going back into my bedroom. I tossed my clothes in the hamper quickly and went to the bed. Edward stare blankly at the window, he looked upset, sad.

Hesitantly I sat next to him on the bed, touching his wrist gently.

" What's wrong?"

He shook his head " Just thinking about the huge mistake I made on this exact day...around this time."

I tapped his jaw, turning his face towards mine.

" We all make mistakes, and it's okay Edward. You'll move on. It was just another chapter in your life."

He turned around, wrapping his arms around me and literally squeezing me to death. I stayed perfectly still until he released his choke hold on my body. I scooted back on my bed and picked up a book that was laying a stray on my end table.

He went home that night, and I knew everything was alright with us.

October 31st

Halloween

Tuesday

Today it had been a half day of school due to the holiday. I sat outside, leaning against Edward's car as he repeatedly asked me the same question over and over.

" You are dressing up. Seriously?"

" For the last time, yes, I am dressing up!"

" But...Why?"

" Alice is going to Newton's, and she said even though we aren't going, I have to dress up this year. So I am going as a pirate."

He spluttered out a laugh " Full outfit huh?"

I glared at him, turning on my heel towards my house. He let out another laugh behind me and I flipped him the bird before darting into my house with a angry scowl on my face. My mother, who was cooking in the kitchen, chuckled at me.

" What did the boy do now."

" Nothing. He was just teasing me about dressing up. I-"

_Beep._

My phone beeped, signalling a text. She smirked and motioned for me to answer it.

" Sorry."

She shook her head and smiled " When will I get to meet him?"

" He's just a friend mom. Really." I said as I whipped my phone out. I clicked 'read message' and saw that it was from Luke. We had been texting for awhile, getting to know one another. We had met up a few times downtown to the diner.

He was very gentlemenly, opening doors for me when we went out and being respectful, but he was also very fun. I knew that my parents wanted to meet him, I was still wary about them meeting him though. We hadn't kissed or anything yet, but he was alot of fun to be around.

_So, what are you doing tonight?_

I smiled and typed an answer.

_Edward and I are handing out candy._

Luke knows how great Edward and I are as friends, but he doesn't know my feelings. Mostly because they are masked around him. I don't feel any need to tell Luke about my feelings towards Edward, it really is not a way to start out a relationship in my opinion.

_Oh, Okay_

My smile faltered.

_Everything alright?_

His reply was there in less then a minute.

_Yeah. I just really wanted to see you tonight. Got all my classes done for today._

I smiled at how cute he acted sometimes.

_If you want you can hang out with Edward and I. I bet it's cool with him._

....

_Really? Sounds cool. Will you finally let me meet your parents?_

I sighed. I had been putting that off.

_Sure. Come around four. I'll meet you outside my house. Dressed and all._

We stopped texting after a few minutes. He was going to finish up his homework from his English class. I had found out that he was twenty, his Birthday being June 1st, and he is a sophmore at the community college downtown. He wanted to become an editor, and he seemed very passionate on the subject.

He has a younger sister who is fourteen named Jane, I met her once but she is very shy. Then he has an older brother named James who lives in California with his wife, Victoria, and three kids, working as a Paralegal. And another brother, who is twelve years old named Jonah. Their last name is Hemmings.

His father, Demetri, owns an aquarium downtown, and his mother, Nancy, is a stay at home mom with her younger kids. He doesn't have any uncles, aunts or cousins because his parents are both only an only child, and he has a grandmother on his fathers side and none on the other because they had died a year before Jonah was born.

When he was younger he used to play the violin, but quit in highschool when he became involved in basketball. He plays at the college and I've been to a few of the games.

I really had alot in common with him when it came to movie genre's, games and music. We had a Halo battle at his house once and I totally owned him. That night he almost kissed me, but I turned my face so his lips landed on my cheek. I liked him, but I loved Edward, and he was constantly in my head when I was with Luke.

At three fifteen I went to my closet to slip on Skull Pirate costume. It's a black mini dress with a long blouson sleeve peasant top an a skull print double lace-up bodice with decorative bows and an attached white petticoat. The trim is burgundy and it's completed with a burgundy bow. I rolled on some fishnet stockings and grabbed my black boots from the closet. I zipped them up and they clung to my calf perfectly. I curled my hair and used moose to give it a little volume.

After a swip of cherry lip balm, a brush of mascara and a streak of eye-liner, I was all ready to go.I grabbed a black hoodie to walk downstairs in so I wouldn't give my parents a heart attack. I bounced downstairs with my curled hair and walked into the kitchen.

Warning: Make sure to make noise when coming into a room so you don't catch your parents making-out against the counter.

I would have to write that on my arm because that seems to be happening often now. Did they think because I am eighteen that it's right to just go for it in the kitchen. It's a public area in the house, I mean seriously.

" Mom! Dad! Ew!" I exclaimed, covering my eyes.

I heard a smack and cringed.

" Clear." my mother said as I heard her resume chopping vegetables for Chicken Soup.

" So...Um, Luke wants to meet you so he's coming over and he is handing out candy with Edward and I."

My father glared at me " Go change, Isabella."

" Dad!" I whined like a five year old.

" Let he be Charlie, Edward will look out for her."

He grumbled, standing up " I better talk to that boy."

I rolled my eyes " Trust Edward. And most of all, trust me. He's just a friend."

The clock said four o' clock so I darted outside before he decided to ring the doorbell. I sat outside for about five minutes before his blue Porsche came into sight and he stepped out, wearing a polo and a pair of jeans. We embraced in a small hug before I led him inside.

" Don't let my father intimidate you, he tries to be scary. And my mom is a little..."

" Crazy." he finished with a laugh " Aren't all mothers."

I shrugged and opened up the front door, leading him through nervously. He reached for my hand and squeezed it, I smiled and led him to the kitchen. My father, of course, was cleaning out his gun whilst my mother chopped.

" Mom, dad. This is Luke Hemmings, my friend."

My father stood up, giving me a wicked smile. I glared at him and Luke held his hand out, my dad gripped it tightly and shook it. I saw Luke wince out of the corner of my eye.

" Nice to meet you, boy. So, are you treating my girl here right?"

Luke smiled " I think so. She really is something."

Without warning my mother ran forward to hug him. His six foot frame towered over her, since she was about an inch shorted then me. I laughed into my hand and my father snorted, rolling his eyes dramatically.

" It's so nice to meet the boy that takes up all my daughters time."

" Mom." I warned

She shushed me " You'll have to come over later for supper. Edward's parents are going to be here soon and you can meet them too."

" Maybe some other time." I said hesitantly,

" That would be great!" he exclaimed.

Before my mother really started getting into conversation, I replied.

" Okay, well Edward is probably waiting. I'll see you guys later tonight."

I dragged Luke outside with me and he laughed. " Are you embarassed?"

" A little." I admitted.

" Don't worry. They are great."

We walked over to Edward's, where he was sitting on the step with a huge ass bucket of candy, wearing a white t-shirt, his leather jacket, loose jeans and his riding boots. When he saw Luke next to me, I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Dissapointment?

" Hey, I hope you don't mind I picked up a stray." I teased.

Edward stood, sizing Luke up. " No problem. I don't think we have officially met."

Luke held his hand out " Well, I am Luke Hemmings."

" Edward Cullen."

They were both sizing eachother up, but I had enough of that. I walked between them, stepping up the stairs and sitting down. I set the hoodie aside and set the candy bucket in my lap, looking at the variety of candies.

" See, Edward. I told you I was dressing up." I said.

His gaze turned to me and his eyes bugged out of his head. I smiled at him innocently and he said nothing. Luke was the first one to walk. He sat next to me and Edward awkwardly sat next to me and I looked on both sides of me.

" God help me." I whispered to myself.

" What was that?" Edward asked.

" Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

" Geez, how long does it take to pick between a dark chocolate peanut butter cup or a regular peanut butter cup?" Edward asked as the confused teenager walked down the driveway. I let out a bubble of laughter.

" I don't know, but seriously, that took forever."

Just then, our fun was ruined.

Tanya and her little possy just had to be walking up the driveway. She was wearing a too tight devil costume and her friends were wearing the same outfit, just a different dress style. They really had no right to come here, infact they shouldn't be allowed. I felt Edward stiffen beside me and I decided to take the wrap for him.

I munstered up confidence and stood up, walking towards Tanya and stopping infront of her. It didn't intimidate me that she was taller and looked to be tougher.

" Didn't you know your supposed to dress up." I sneered.

" I'm here for some candy, not a fight, Swan."

" You aren't getting anything, so just get out of here."

She shoved me harshly to the side.

" Whoa, look, I don't know you, but you have no right to shove her like that." Luke stated as I steadied.

Edward stood infront of me, his frame cowering over Tanya's body.

" Look, okay. You should be embarassed to be here with all of the things you have done and said. I have never met such a improper girl such as you. Giving yourself so easily to someone is something you shouldn't be proud of, and in my book, sleeping around isn't attractive. You have done enough damage, so you can take your sorry ass away from my house, and out of my life. You are dead to me."

She scowled at him and walked forward, running a slimy finger down Luke's chest with a seductive smile on her overly made up face. He grabbed her hand and dropped it to her side with a look of discust on his face.

" I am not interested in someone like you."

As she backed away down the driveway, she had her eyes narrowed " Your both missing out. And truthfully, I feel bad for you. Have fun with the trash."

My jaw dropped and I walked towards her " Atleast I am not spoiled goods!"

Now I was slightly horrified. Of course Luke didn't know about Tanya, and I hadn't planned on saying anything because it had nothing to do with me, though some others would beg to differ. With blurry, angry eyes, I walked towards the porch.

Why did I suddenly feel so small?

" Bella." he called " Bella, sweetie, talk to me."

" Izzy. Iz. Bella."

Edward put his hands on my upper arms, bracing me to stand straight infront of him. I stared down at the ground, and he tipped my head up, looking at me intently.

" Calm down. Don't get worked up, everything is okay."

I took a deep breath

" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I freaked out like that I didn't mean to. I don't do that I was just overwhelmed." I stated, profusely apologizing for what had just taken place.

" It's fine. Don't worry about it." Edward assured me. " I'll be right back."

He dissapeared inside the house and I leaned against the railing on the porch. Tanya had upset him so he probably wanted to calm down alone. I would respect that.

Infront of me, Luke pushed off of the front door and walked towards me, grabbing both of my hands and staring into my eyes. It was almost in slow motion when he brushed a peice of hair behind my ear.

Then slowly bent down to my level, softly pressing his lips to mine. For a moment he moved his lips, and slowly his hand worked it's way to my hip, rubbing circles. My whole entire being was just rejecting this kiss.

This felt so entirely wrong.

The front door shut harshly and I looked up, realizing that Edward probably saw that and had already fled. Now I felt like a piece of scum on the bottom of a shoe.

" Luke, I think you are an amazing guy, and I didn't mean to lead you on but I feel like friends are just... Better of a solution. Right now I am not really in the position to have a romantic relationship. And kissing you didn't...feel right."

He cleared his throat " No, I'm sorry. I really like you Bella, but friends is probably better for us."

Well this didn't exactly go as planned. I sighed, giving him a smile. " Thank you for being so gracious about this."

He nodded " I think I'm going to head on home now. You might want to-" he motionted to the front door " He seemed upset."

" You really don't have to go. And about Edward, Tanya is just...a long story, maybe another time."

" I'll have dinner with your family next time, okay. Thanks for tonight though, I did have a good time besides all of this."

We hugged briefly and I went inside to go check on Edward. I found him holed up in his room with a look of sadness on his face. I kept his door ajar and walked over to him, standing infront of him. He didn't bother to look up at me so I knelt down on the floor, resting my hands on his knee's.

" What's wrong?"

" Nothing."

" Talk to me or I will crack the record I bought you."

He tugged at his hair " Is he your boyfriend now?"

I sighed " Edward, I swear sometimes you are like my kid and I am looking for another man after my divorce. He was just one guy that I was interested in, just a little bit. Did you see him kiss me?"

" Yeah."

" Well you missed the part when I pulled away and told him that it's best we be friends."

" Why?"

I laughed " It was like when Rosalie dared me to kiss Jasper sophmore year."

" That was interesting..."

" Can I ask you something?"

"What?" he replied.

" Why does it matter to you that I kissed him?"

A look of confusion spread over his face and he fiddled with his long, pale fingers " I don't know. I just started thinking about how you would start being with him all the time and forgetting about me. I always worried about that. And it makes me feel worse because I did it to you, but I know you would never do the same."

I sat next to him on the bed " Number one, okay. When I was thirteen, remember what I told you when you got stung by a bee when I was playing with Abigal, and ran back home to see what happened; Edward, you are always number one, no matter what. And I mean that. You are like more then half of my life Edward, I will always need you."

He draped his arm around my waist "You are my number one, always."

" Good. Now lets head over to my house so I can change and we can eat. It's already seven thirty so I think the kids are done."

We went back to my house and I showered and washed my face, getting rid of all the makeup that had been on my face. I changed into more comfortable clothes and put the halloween costume in the closet in the back, where all of the other ones were smashed up. I went downstairs and joined my family downstairs, Esme, Carlisle and Edward included.

Having a relationship with Luke wasn't an option because my feelings for Edward aren't fading. Infact, they are getting more stronger and more harder to deal with at this time.

I love him.

There is nothing that I can do about it.

But at this point, I can deal.

One day I will tell him.

**Authors Note- Sorry about the lateness, I'd been out all day, and well, my Twitter tells you that. Follow me, link in profile to my page!**


	26. Merry Christmas in London

**Authors Note- Hello everyone, sorry about lateness. As I said, follow me on Twitter, and you know what's going on in my life and what I am up to.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

December 15th

Friday

2006

BPOV

I was sitting on the living room couch in my pajama's, watching a movie as the snow swirled around in the cool Chicago air. It was a quiet night with Edward, our parents attending a fundraiser at the hospital. We had decided to keep out on this one and just sit infront of the television instead.

Halloween and Thanksgiving had came and went and the snow was now falling on the soggy, brown grass.

Our tickets to London had been purchased, which would be a fun nine hours and fourty five minute flight. I was definately not looking forward to it, along with the six hour time difference, but I was happy that I could see my grandparents, along with Edward's. We were leaving the twenty first at four o'clock, so we had to be ready after school, and that was the day we were let out for winter break.

My mother's mom had lost her husband before I was born, so she was going to stay with my other grandparents on Charlie's side. Grandma Elizabeth, or Granny Liz, was my mothers mom, and Grandpa Allen and Grandma Claire are my fathers parents.

Esme had her mother and father, Grandpa Edward and Grandma Giada. Carlisle only had his father left and he was Grandpa Carlisle, naming his son after him. All of our grandparents were wonderful people, and we were really close. I basically have six grandparents when I thought about it.

Tonight was the winter formal at the highschool, and naturally, Edward and I didn't have dates. Emmett jokingly suggested we just go together. I blushed and thought nothing of it.

Luke stopped texting me awhile ago. I really think that he was just not one to settle for just being friends. And for while I missed the friendship, but I just let it go and ignored the hurt that I felt. If he wasn't going to settle for just a friendship, then it didn't matter.

I still had yet to find a job, but I figured I would apply in the spring. I didn't have to pay bills except for my cell phone bill, but I would have to get insurance when I turned nineteen. And I would be in college by then so it would depend on where I ended up, and I would get a job out there.

" Whats next?"

My head snapped up to see the white end credits rolling down the black screen.

" Whatever you want." I answered, laying my head down on the pillow.

" Nu uh! You always fall asleep during movies!"

Bride of Chucky.

The bastard put on bride of Chucky, knowing that the girl next to him was terrified of Chucky ever since she was forced to watch it at midnight with Alice in freshmen year. I was forced by Alice's hand that was forcing me to sit down and 'watch the damn movie!'

I. Hate. Chucky.

Chucky. Is. Scary.

I had endured about three fourths of it until I fell asleep. Naturally I woke up from a nightmare, screaming when I saw that instead of her uncle, it was Edward inside of the box and was dead. Just when Chucky grabbed the lid and opened it, Edward woke me up.

" Oh my god. No don't open the trunk! NO! Nails, blood. NO!" I screamed

" Bella! Calm the fuck down and stop screaming!"

My mouth clamped shut and I looked around, seeing the blank television and the dark living room. I could hear the loud whistling of the wind outside and it made it all the more creepy. Edward hooked his arm under my knee's and an arm around my back.

He heaved me up in his arms and carried me upstairs.

" Sorry I made you watch that."

" Such an asshole."

I rested my head on his shoulder and I heard him open my bedroom door. He set me down gently on my bed, my body yearning to be close to his again. The door shut and I felt a sinking feeling, though it didn't last because the bed shifted and he crawled in next to me. I could feel his forehead against the back of my head, a hand hesitantly resting on my waist. Once my whole body relaxed he pulled me next to him, his front against my back.

Something inside of me make me think that he thought I was asleep. He didn't sleep close to me on purpose, it ended up that way. My insides sparked with lost hope.

I nestled my face into the soft pillow and took a deep breath.

December 21st

Leaving for London

Flight Time: 9 Hrs 45 Mins app.

Time of flight: 4:00pm

Time difference: 6 Hours

US time Arrival Would Have Been: 1:45AM

London Time arrival: 7:45 app

I rolled up my blanket and stuffed it into my carry on, grabbing my iPod, my cell and a book. My suitcase was already loaded into the taxi downstairs and I was just grabbing a few last minute stuff. I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night, sp I was basically sleeping through the finals, but I managed. I could sleep on the plane, we were flying first class.

Lazily, I got downstairs, making sure everything was off, and said goodbye to home until January fourth. I slipped into the taxi with both of my parents and the guy headed down to O' Hare airport. Carlisle, Esme and Edward were right behind us in another taxi.

The guy parked on the curb and popped the trunk, we retrieved our things and headed inside. I was literally about to drop when we got to baggage. My dad put the stuff on the conveyor belt and we went to the terminal. The lady checked over the tickets and passports before letting us through to the plane. Before that, security had us take our shoes off, look through our carry-ons and go through that before getting on.

Edward and I, My father and my mother ,and Esme and Carlisle were sitting next to eachother in groups on the seats. I dropped into my seat by the window, digging in my bag sleepily for my blanket.

Edward chuckled " Bella, stop, let me."

I reclined my seat and pushed up the armrest, not even asking Edward if I could. He handed me my blanket and got a pillow from the attendant that asked if we needed one. I laid back, shifting around to get comfortable.

Edward turned on the small television, it was playing Little Miss Sunshine. He looked over at me, rubbed my arm gently with his hand and I was asleep within minutes.

" Bella, time to get up."

I moaned, rolling on my side.

" Come on, Bella. The plane is getting ready to land.

The whole nine hours and fourty five minutes I had slept. Right through the whole entire flight, and I was still completely exhausted. Sleeping on a plane really wasn't that comfortable, but I was as tired as hell that I would of slept on hard concrete.

I sat up in my seat, rubbing my eyes and smoothing my crazy hair down. I ended up just throwing it up in a bun and calling it a day. Edward helped me stuff my blanket back in and helped me recline the seat back up.

" We will be landing in London Heathrow Airport at seven fourty eight. Keep your seatbelts on until we have safely landed. Thank you."

Edward switched off the television and looked over at me.

" Nice nap?" he asked.

" I'm still so tired."

He chuckled " Well, you will get to sleep longer once you get home."

Home. I smiled at the thought.

" I've really missed it here. It's been two long years."

" So have I." he agreed.

Once the plane safely landed we stood from our seats and stepped off the plane. There was no snow, but it was still cold. It wasn't very often that it snowed out here, which was a good thing for me. I looked at my surroundings, seeing familar tall buildings and the airport. Which is one of the worlds busiest airports.

We got our baggage and waited outside. Since my fathers parents had a bigger house, we were all staying there together. Grandpa Allen was picking us up because he was the only early riser in the family.

He appeared in his car, white hair and pale blue eyes, looking like he wanted to leap out of the car. Grandpa Allen opened and slammed the door, standing infront of us with a huge smile.

" Well, if it isn't the Cullens and Swans, hmm." he said, british accent as thick as ever.

He, me being his ultimate favorite, gave me a huge hug, squeezing me.

" Your getting old, Isabella."

" Not as old as you Grandpa." I teased as he hugged his son.

" Hey dad." my father greeted.

He embraced every single one of us and we squished into his small car. I was basically sitting in Esme's lap, she just smiled like it was nothing. We drove past all of the familar hotels and resturaunts until we were in London City also known as 'The City'. We drove into my grandmothers neighborhood, and when we pulled into the familar driveway, I saw the other cars park, signalling the other grandparents arrival.

My father and Carlisle stayed to get all the luggage while we went in to see them all. My granny Liz came forward and hugged me.

"Oh, darling, you are getting so big!" she exclaimed.

" Hey, Granny."

" And listen to that accent, hasn't faded a bit."

My grandmother really wasn't that old. She had my mother in her early twenties, as did my mother, so she was only in her late sixties, along with my grandfather and all of the other grandparents. Grandpa Carlisle was the only one who was in his seventies, he was seventy three.

He hugged me next and then I was passed onto Grandpa Edward, Grandma Giada and Grandma Claire. Alot of grandparents. When Carlisle and my father came in they greeted their parents and the others before taking the stuff upstairs. I walked into the guest room with the huge king sized bed that I was sharing with Edward. Carlisle and Esme were right across the hall and my parents were at the end of the hall. Grandpa Allen and Grandma Claire's bedroom next to Carlisle and Esme's room.

Edward and I put our clothes in the drawers and I put my stuff in the bathroom. Once I was mostly unpacked I grabbed my pillow and blanket from my suitcase, I had to have my pillow with me everywhere, and set it over the other pillows. I crawled under the soft, chenille blanket. Edward laid on the other side, kicking his shoes off and getting under.

The time change wasn't really that bad because I slept on the plane and only wanted about an hour or two of more sleep, so I would be up around ten which was when I got up on weekends back in the States.

As I thought, I awoke at ten, but Edward was still dead to the world. I took a shower and dressed in different clothes before heading downstairs.

" How are you feeling, dear?" Grandma Giada asked.

I smiled " Better. But Edward is still dead asleep upstairs."

She chuckled " Of course. That boy was the sleeper as a baby. He was the angel and you were the devil. Complimented eachother nonetheless."

I smiled and went into the kitchen, where Grandma Giada was cooking an Italian dish as usual. I sat and talked with everyone for awhile until Granny Liz served our lunch and we got to eating. Edward stumbled downstairs, only wearing boxers.

Grandma Giada, Grandma Claire and Granny Liz gasped.

" Boy, have some decency and put on some clothes! You are a british gentlemen, not an American hobknocker!" Granny Liz exclaimed.

He rubbed his eyes and went to the fridge, grabbing a Ribena Juice Drink. He chugged it down and threw it in the trash when he finished. Then he proceeded to burp and then sit down, everybody staring at him. Esme slapped his arm as hard as she could and he yelped.

" Hey!"

" Don't you 'hey' me! That was very unproper in the presence of ladies!"

I choked a laugh and swallowed more pasta, taking a drink from my glass of water.

" What do you find so amusing?" Grandpa Allen asked.

" Nothing." I murmured into my glass.

" She thinks this behavior from him is funny!" he exclaimed with a laugh.

Grandpa Edward patted Edward's back. It was an awkward thought... They both looked alot alike, Grandpa Edward was just like a last sixty version of Edward.

" It's okay, kid."

Edward laughed, grabbing a fork and taking pasta from my plate, shoveling the spoonful into his awaiting mouth.

" Hey! Get your own food if you are hungry. Or I'll beat your white a-"

My mother gave me a pointed look as did my father.

"Nothing." I continued, looking down at my plate.

We finished up our lunch and cleaned up our dishes.

The day was mostly spent lazing around, but at seven thirty I asked Edward if he wanted to go get some Fish and Chips with me. We slipped on our jackets, shoes and headed outside. I could still remember the turns and street names. It had only been two years, I would surprised if I forgot.

As we turned a right on another street I heard a familar voice behind me.

" Well, if it isn't the British twins, Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen."

We turned around and were met with the familar faces of Abigal Libersin and Allen Whitmoore. They were previous friends when we lived here.

" Hey, guys. Good to see you."

Abby bounced towards us, her curly blonde hair boucing with her. She embraced me in a hug whilst Edward greeted Allen.

" Nice to see you both. Have you been well?" Edward asked.

" Yes." they said in usion

" Well, we were just heading over to get some Fish and Chips..."

" Okay, well catch you later."

They walked past us, linking hands and leaning into eachother. Edward looked at me and I stared back at them.

" Your together?" I shouted.

Allen turned around, smiling at me brilliantly " Yeah. Thought you and Edward over here would be together by now also."

When we were kids Abby could not stand to be in Allen's presence. He would pull her hair and push her around. When she was fourteen it was even worse when he teased her to the point of tears. I stayed rooted in my spot as they walked away together.

" That's odd." Edward stated, walking down the sidewalk. I sprinted until I was beside him, walking at the same pace. When I saw the familar building I jogged inside, the delicious scents washing over me.

" Bella! Edward!" I heard a familar british man yell from behind the counter.

We walked up to the counter, smiling at Michael. He was a early fourty year old man and he opened this place with his brother about ten years ago. They had the best Fish and Chips in the whole UK.

" Two orders of the usual."

He grabbed a newspaper cone, filling it with the beer batter cod and chips, and or, fries. Once he handed us the hot food in the paper I grabbed for it. Devouring a peice of the fish.

" That hits the spot."

" Later, Michael!" Edward shouted.

" Hey! You come back here. Hows it going in America?"

I smiled " Good, everything is great. Maybe you should come sometime and find yourself a piece of arm candy."

He scoffed " America is just a place where all the obese people live."

My mouth dropped " Hey! Look at the gut you carry around."

" Touche, Isabella."

I smacked his arm playfully, heading towards the door. Edward took my elbow, leading me out.

" You two kids be safe out there. It's getting dark."

" I'll take care of her." Edward shouted, closing the door.

Christmas Day

" Edward wait until after we eat dinner to open your presents." Esme scolded.

He was pacing around the bright Christmas tree, staring at the presents. Edward still acted like a six year old on Christmas each year. All of us ladies were in the kitchen helping with the huge dinner that was to be prepared.

" But, mom!" he whined.

" Edward, can you come here and help me set the table?" I asked.

With a sigh he came forward. I handed him the place mats and I grabbed plates for twelve. I set the plates down as he set the mats down. We went all around the big glass table until we went to retreive utensils. I grabbed forks and he grabbed knifes, my father setting down napkins as we placed the silverwear down. We served drinks on the table and then Edward went to go back and moan about the gifts.

" No, no. Go get me some sour cream and butter from the fridge."

"Bella," he sighed.

" Do. It."

Without a word he went to the fridge.

" Little Isabella still has him wrapped around her little finger." Grandma Claire said, smiling.

I grabbed the soften potatoes and had Edward scoop a few spoonfuls of sour cream, and a stick of butter in the pot. I mashed it all together until it was nice and smooth, then added salt and pepper, stirring it in. I set it on the table just as Grandpa Carlisle was putting the candied sweet potatoes.

" Are you okay, sweetie?" he asked.

I looked up at him " Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

" You just looked a little down is all."

" I'm good, no worries."

We finished filling the table, all of the dishes placed in certain area. There was Turkey, Ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans and cranberries. I took my seat next to my mother and Edward, loading my plate up with a generous amount of food.

All of us shared easy conversation throughout dinner until finally we cleaned up and put the leftovers in containers. Edward was boucing off the walls, shuffling all of us into the living room. There was a film playing on the television as we all settled.

" Boy, you need patience." Granny Liz complained.

" Yeah, okay. Can I hand out the presents?" he asked Esme.

" Sure, sweetheart." she answered with an eye roll.

I leaned against the ledge on the fireplace as Edward handed out the gifts. I had a huge stack of little boxes and a few flat things. I had a medium sized box from Carlisle and Esme and a few others from my parents.

Once everything was handed out I opened the presents from my grandparents. I got alot of pound from them, and they usually got us money so we could get our own things. I got American Bills and Pound half and half from each grandparent.

I had around nine hundred dollars in dollar bills, and around the same amount in pound. I gave them all a hug, thanking them for all the money. Next, I grabbed the present that Carlisle and Esme had gotten me.

Inside of the box was a very expensive looking Nikon camera. My silver digital camera that I bought when I was thirteen was a hunk of nothing compared to this. Slowly I picked it up, examining it, it was a beautiful camera and very handy.

" Wow, this is just awesome. Thank you, so much. This must of been a fortune." I raved, hugging Esme and then Carlisle.

" It's nothing, Bella. Money doesn't matter."

Edward was digging through all of his gifts, ripping the paper off like a mad man while I took my sweet time. I went to the pile from my parents, they had gotten me a few books, CD's and movies that I wanted. As I got older it was harder to pick what I wanted, but I was happy with my gifts from them, they also liked what I had given then.

I threw out all of my wrapping paper and sat down next to Edward, who handed me a small box. I slid his gifts over in his direction. Slowly he ripped off the red paper, revealing the game console.

"Seriously...Yeah, I knew there was a reason why I called you my best friend."

He lifted the Xbox 360 box to stand and then grabbed the three games that I had gotten him. Halo 2, Bioshock and Call of Duty 3. Edward hugged me tightly and I went to open my gift from him. When I opened it up, I saw the light blue/teal box.

" Edward.." I started.

" Just open it."

I untied the smashed down ribbon and opened he box, seeing a white gold pendant with diamonds twisted into a ornate design. It was hanging on a black twist cord with a chain clasp.

It was an absolutely beautiful necklace. There was an intake of breath around the room as I took it out of the box. Slowly I handed it to Edward, sweeping my hair aside. He clasped it around my neck and I touched the shiny diamonds.

We both stood and embraced eachother tightly.

" Thank you," I whispered in his ear.

He kissed the side of my head " Your very welcome."

I let him go after a moment, not wanting to hold on for too long. We cleaned up the living room and everybody headed to bed a little early. Tired from all the eating and exciting events. I walked up the stairs, carrying my things.

After setting them on the dresser I shut the bedroom door upon hearing talking in the hallway. I sighed and went into the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth. After slipping my pony-tail off, my sweater came next, along with my jeans. I grabbed a pair of boxer shorts and a long sleeved black shirt. As I flipped the switch, Edward had entered the room. He set his things down and I lifted up the thick comforter, climbing into the bed and relaxing under the cool sheets.

I heard him moving around in the bathroom before he came out, laying on the opposite side of bed as I. My hand reached up to grasp my necklace, and soon I fell into a deep sleep.

**Authors Note- I couldn't bring out my big guns this chapter. Yes, I have big guns coming up next chapter. Prepare yourselfs, you have until Tuesday.**


	27. Under Pressure

**Authors Note- Guys, I don't forget what day it is. Don't worry! I remember! Sometimes I am late in updating, but that doesn't mean I forget, okay?**

**Disclaimer- owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

New Years Eve.

A day where people celebrate the new year, ringing it in with a loved one to kiss when the clock strikes midnight. Today my grandparents had just ordered orderves for us to eat instead of making a big meal. There were meat and cheese trays, fruit trays and vegetable trays. I was curerrently eating all of the celery.

" Isabella, save some for the other's." my father said with a laugh as I crunched on it.

" Um...I'll stop eating that, when Edward stops sneaking spoonfulls of the whip cream thats for the fruit." I commented as I looked over at Edward, spoon almost in his mouth. He smiled at us and set the spoon down, eating a grape.

Today I had decided on wearing a red sweater dress and my pointed toe black heels that I'd gotten from Alice on my seventeenth birthday, along with a pair of black skinny jeans that ended an inch below my knee. I had let my hair down to fall in silky curls down my back. My make-up was a little darker then normal from the smokey colors.

I finished up my celery stick and grabbed my camera from the coffee table. Edward was still entranced in the whipped cream, eating huge dollops of it on the fruit.

" Hey, Edward?" I asked.

He looked up and I snapped the shot quickly. His eyes formed into a glare straight at me, I smiled at him and reached for a peice of watermelon.

" What the fuck did I tell you about that." he growled lowly, stealing the pink fruit from my hands.

I stood up from my spot on the couch and walked past him, patting his shoulder.

" I told you that I would get a picture." I boasted,

Edward reached over and pinched my side, I yelped and turned around, almost hitting Carlisle who was holding a glass of wine.

" Darling, I think you may be the one who is drinking all the wine." he teased.

I huffed " No. It's your pest of a son. He is known for drinking."

When I got to the kitchen; I poured sparkling red grape juice in a wine glass and went into the room by the bathroom. Inside was a huge fireplace and my grandfathers huge grand piano. I set my glass ontop of it and let my hands glide over the keys.

I played familar Christmas Songs; Oh Christmas Tree, Jingle Bell Rock, Rocking Around The Christmas Tree and Jingle Bells.

One by one I could hear people entering the the room, and I knew my face was cherry red from embarassment. They all loved to hear me play and I didn't know why. Grandpa Edward was the one who teached me how to play, and we used to play together when I was younger.

I let my fingers run over the keys for Winter Wonderland, I was a little rusty on that song, but it was decent. Suddenly I felt two small arms around my neck, I knew that it was Esme.

" How about you play my song for me." she suggested.

" Not infront of everyone." I said quietly.

" Don't be embarassed, Isabella. You play beautifully."

All of the notes for Esme's songs were the highest keys, the ones that were happy. I had composed it when I was twelve, my mind able to remember every key to hit, it had been the first song that I made on my own.

Everybody listened quietly as I played the song for her. I pressed my foot on the pedals every few times, the keys getting slightly louder as I applied more pressure to them. Once I finished I grabbed my grape juice, taking a huge gulp.

" I think that's enough."

Grandpa Edward sat me down, taking a seat next to me and played the first keys to Charlie Brown Christmas. I threw my head back and laughed as I followed the keys after him. Everybody hummed the beat behind us. When we stopped everybody shuffled out, except for Edward.

" Play me a song."

" I just did."

" Play me a different song." he asked, resting his hands on my shoulders.

I sighed and let my hand slide to the right, playing Beethovens Moonlight Sonata elegantly. He stayed through the whole song until I finally put the lid down and picked up my glass. I stepped out of the room infront of Edward.

" Why did you pick such a sad song?"

" It's not sad. It's meaningful. Maybe the notes don't speak to you like they do I." I clarified.

He patted my arm and I pulled away.

" Excuse me." I said, turning a right to head upstairs.

I darted upstairs in the heels, walking into the guest bedroom I was staying in. I used the washroom quickly and washed my hands, resisting the urge to just strip down to my underwear and go to sleep. Last night I hadn't gotten much sleep because I had an awful nightmare. The thrashing was so bad that I fell off of the bed.

Quietly I walked to the bed, slipping my shoes off and slid under the covers. Only ten minutes later was I fast asleep under the sheets.

" Isabella!" A voice exclaimed beside me.

" Shh, let her be. She had a rough night last night." I heard Edward whisper as he sat close to me.

" It's eight o'clock. You should wake her soon." the door closed and I felt Edward run his hand over my hair.

My body stayed perfectly still and I made sure my breathing was even. Slowly I felt him coming closer before his lips pressed against my temple.

" Go back to sleep, Bella. Your a horrible actress."

Without a word, I tossed over and buried my face in his pillow.

Eventually I got out of bed at eight thirty and went downstairs to wait it out for the New Year. I drowned my New Year's alone-ness in sparkling grape juice. I wasn't tecnically alone, but I had nobody to kiss, which was a little saddening.

At eleven there they had a pre-show with bands playing. Our grandparents weren't exactly into the music that was playing, and I was a little unsure about the british bands but it was pretty decent, Muse playing on their was pretty stellar. I was a little spacey as they all talked around me, my thoughts centered around Edward.

I desperately wanted my New Years kiss to be with him. My heart was clenching for it.

EPOV

After Bella had dissapeared upstairs I went into the living room with all the adults, sitting and listening to them quietly. She'd been gone for awhile so I went to check on her, that's when Granny Liz decided to have her woken up, but I made sure that she went back to sleep.

She tried to play it off like she was still sleeping before I left, but I could tell that she wasn't because Bella is the worst actress ever. That was definately out for her as a career. I kissed her temple and went back downstairs, waiting for her to come down.

At around eight thirty she came back, looking more refreshed and like she didn't even take a nap. She was a little spacey during the time up until the television was on. Even then she seemed a little out of it, taking small sips of the sparkling grape juice.

In only ten minutes, people would be kissing their mates to ring in the New Year.

Did Bella feel as alone as I did?

BPOV

Five minutes until we rang in the New Year.

I filled my glass up and stood, walking over to the door frame to the kitchen. I leaned against it and drank my drink, taking deep breaths between. Edward put his hands on his knees and hoisted himself up to walk next to me. He leaned on the other side of the door frame.

" Are you okay?" he asked.

" Yeah, I guess so." I answered quietly.

The air was filled with silence between us as I watched the television. There was a minute left and you could see people gathered in the park a few miles away from here. The ball was very slowly moving as twenty seconds came. I could see my mother moving closer to my father, and Esme moving closer to Carlisle.

The television then got louder.

" Ten!"

" Nine!"

" Eight!"

" Seven!"

" Six!"

" Five!"

" Four!"

" Three!"

" Two!"

" One!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

My head turned away and I looked at Edward, he had a look of sadness in his face. My face probably matched his quiet well. We lifted our glasses insync and clinked them together, looking eachother straight in the eye.

" Happy New Year, Edward." I said, taking a sip of the juice.

" Happy New Year."

After a long drink I set my glass down. Everyone was staring at us, like they expected something. I looked back at them, confused. My father looked annoyed, but Esme looked excited, a huge happy smile on her face.

The television screamed from the people, and I could see it passing all of the couples in tight embraces and deep kisses.

" For gods sake, Edward, give the girl a kiss."

My head snapped in the direction of Edward. He looked slightly panicked. Very quickly, he leaned forward, pecked my lips, which felt like a little breeze of air and pulled back, avoiding the gazes of everyone around the room. I touched my lips for a moment, still being able to feel the sparks.

" A real kiss." Esme clarified for him.

I looked over at him, showing him with my eyes that he didn't have to. Without warning Edward walked forward, standing closer to me then he normally did. His right arm wrapped around my waist and his left hand pushed against the back of my neck. My breathing hitched and my eyes widened. My face tilted up and slowly and our eyes connected, he bent his face down and pressed his lips against mine.

The feeling that went through my body was unexplainable. This was nothing compared to our thirteen year old first kiss, nothing. I felt the sparks crackling between us and I fought the urge to grab his shirt and pull him closer.

It seemed like forever until he moved his lips against mine. I let my hand raise to rest on his shoulder as I felt him lean into me. I moved my lips back against his, feeling the softness of his lips against mine. His face tilted to the side and I felt his lips parting slowly, when my lips did the same. I could almost taste the grape and mint flavor.

His arm tightened around my waist, his tongue dragging slowly across my bottom lip. I mentally screamed as his tongue touched mine gently. Slowly the hand on the back of my neck moved up to tangle in my hair. Edward pressed as close as he could to me, and tangled my tongue with his, encouraging me to kiss him back.

Finally I let myself lean into him and I kissed him back, trying to push through the heavy feel of hesitance. We kissed, our tongues tangling together, for what seemed like a long time. When he let out a low moan in my mouth I was brought back to reality.

We were in my grandparents house, making out right infront of them.

What if he was doing this because he just wanted some of the physical contact he lost with his girlfriend?

I pulled awat from him abruptly and turned to look at everyone. They had unreadable expressions on their faces, and Esme looked ecstatic. My father had a look of utter shock on his face and I looked back at Edward.

" I'm sorry. I have to...I have to go."

I fled out of the living room and ran as fast up the stairs in the heels I wore without falling. When I got to the bedroom I went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and leaning against it. Everything seemed like way to much, the kiss, the stares.

" Oh, god." I whispered, putting a hand on my chest.

What if this just ruined us?

There were loud footsteps in the bedroom, running towards my door.

" Isabella." I heard Esme say. " Bella."

It was one of the first times Esme actually used my nickname.

I backed away from the door and collapsed on the floor, leaning against the cabinets with my face in my hands. The door opened and I felt Esme sitting next to me, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tightly.

She rubbed my back and I rested my head on her shoulder, my body shaking. I felt my mom beside me, holding my hand tightly.

I couldn't cry because I'd cried so much over him, I just felt so lost by all of it. Confused.

" Bella," I heard him say.

" Edward, I think it would be best if you left. She's upset right now, and I don't think you can make it better."

I stayed in the comforting arms of my mother, and someone who is basically like my second mother. They held me until I told them I would be okay. I locked the bathroom door and ran a bath, fitting the jacuzzi tub with alot of hot water.

Once I stripped my clothes off, I put my hair up, piling it ontop of my head, and then stepped into the steaming tub. A few tears finally fell, and I let them drip down my face, wiping them every once in awhile.

I knew that I needed to talk to him, because I couldn't just let something like this go. My head was still running through when he kissed me, the sparks that flew around us and the warm and fuzzy feeling inside of my body. Along with the electric shocks. My lips were stil tingling.

The water had gotten cold to soon and I stepped out of my bath, wrapping a towel around my body. I put on a pair of red, black and white plaid pajama pants, and a black long sleeve top. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and let my hair down.

I was nervous to walk of out the bathroom, knowing he was there. I opened the door and saw him in bed, lamp on, glasses on, and a book in hand. Withouth a word I walked past him and out of the bedroom. I poured a glass of coke and brought it upstairs with me.

When I got in bed, I laid as far away from him as I could, sitting up awkwardly and holding my coke.

" If I knew that kissing you would make you run away crying then I would of never touched you." he said.

" Looks like that's the effect you have on girls." I said bitterly.

He shut his book " You kissed me back, don't even deny it."

" Your point?"

" Your only a friend, Bella. I overstepped boundries, and I am sorry. But don't get pissed about it because you kissed me back."

" Either that or you shoved your tongue down my throat, and thought I was kissing you, but trying to get you off me."

Edward took his glasses of and slammed his book down on the end table.

" Why are you so stubborn. You. Kissed. Me. Back. Deny it or not, but we both know you did."

I laid on my side, tugging the covers of my body and purposely leaving none for him. He roughly tugged, moving me along with him because I had a strong grip. I rolled forward, trying to push against him.

" Let it the fuck go!"

We fought for the blanket, and I was struggling with all my might. Soon, it wasn't even the blanket included, he was in my personal space and bothering me. I slapped his arm and he kneeled on both sides of my hips, grabbing my wrists and bracing them to my sides.

" Stop it." he said.

I turned my head to the side, feeling the tears spill out of the corner of my eyes. My hands gripped into fists and I tried to move them.

" Let me go," I pleaded, my voice cracking.

Slowly he released me and laid on his side. I curled up and rested chin on my knee's, sniffing the tears back. I felt his hand on my side, worming his arm under me. Once he suceeded, Edward turned me towards him, pulling me tightly to his side.

" Edward,"

His hand rested on the back of my head, letting me put it on his neck.

" It's okay, Bella." he hushed.

EPOV

Holding her in my arms was hard to say the least.

The emotions that flooded over me when I kissed her were unexplainable, and I couldn't control myself. I didn't want to kiss her, in fear of ruining our friendship, but I was encouraged to do so by my whole family, and what was I supposed to do.

Run away like a little girl?

And oh, no. They didn't settle for a peck, they wanted the whole she-bang. I kissed her, and it was a different experience, but she soon fled away from me. But she kissed me back, that was her choice. If it was that bad, she could of pushed me off or something.

Did I like Bella as more then a friend?

I didn't know, but I knew that the feelings I have aren't exactly friendship worthy. As I held her close, I stared down at her, hearing her breathing even and seeing her body completely relaxed into mine. Somehow, it felt right...natural.

I smoothed her hair down and nestled my head ontop of hers.

It's so wrong, so very wrong. We grew up like brother and sister, this is not how you see your sister. Something is most definately wrong with me. My feelings are unacceptable, and I can't keep feeling them. I just have to ignore it.

Soon I fell asleep next to her.

Finally we were back in our home country and state. My internal clock had been so used to the London time and I was entirely exhausted. Bella had passed out the moment she got into the plane, mumbling goodbyes at the airport through tired lips.

When we got off the plane and into O'Hare Airport, we got our luggage and had two cabs waiting outside as we called for them. When we got outside, the chill air hit my skin and made me shiver. Bella was dead on her feet and stumbling around.

" Come on, Isabella." Renee said, trying to get her in the cab.

Instead, I swooped her up in my arms.

" Dad, how about you go with Renee and Charlie. I can take care of her."

He nodded and went into the passenger seat of the taxi. Bella's parents shuffled themselves into the loaded taxi and it was zooming off only moments later. My mom folded herself into the right side of the seat, right behind the driver. I got in, carefully putting Bella's head on my shoulder and shifting her in my lap.

She let out a groan of annoyance and relaxed.

When the driver pulled up to the curb, Esme gave him his pay and we got out. I carried Bella out and fished the house key I aquired out of my pocket as they got the luggage. Charlie was carrying basically everything while Renee hugged Esme.

They live next door and we've been living with eachother for weeks, they were hugging like they wouldn't see eachother for a year. I rolled my eyes and unlocked the door, shuffling Bella around in my arms.

" Stop." she complained, tugging on my leather jacket.

I walked into the familar house, heading upstairs to Bella's bedroom. When I opened the door, I plopped her down on the bed, making her bounce once.

Her eyes popped open and she glared at me. Charlie barged through with her luggage and I set her carry-on that I was holding on her desk. I unzipped her suitcase and grabbed her pillow, throwing it at her.

" Stop!"

" Shut up and go to sleep." I joked

" If you keep chattering on then I can't."

I smiled in her direction. She definately was something.

**Authors Note- I'm nervous, beyond nervous...But I can deal, please tell me what you thought about it.**


	28. Sublime

**Authors Note- Alright guys, the Prologue will be here soon, so be strong and prepared.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**READ END NOTES! IMPORTANT!**

BPOV

We were back into the States soon enough, saying a goodbye to London and our family. I missed the break, but I knew that I had to get back to my normal routine and get back into the swing of school. Things with Rosalie still haven't been resolved, and I was starting to think that she was fine with the way things were.

She still had Emmett, had her best friend Tanya, minus two friends. Alice had basically been crying when she came over the day before school started up. And since Rosalie, Tanya's and Alice's familes are so very close knit, and they spend Christmas together, that it was horrible. Tanya hadn't even bothered to get Alice a gift, when Alice went out of her way to get her a beautiful designer sweater, trying to get back in good graces. When it came to Rosalie, she said that she got her a small bottle of pink nail polish from Charlotte Russe. Alice got her the new Marc Jacobs bag that Rosalie had been drooling over for literally months.

A bottle of fucking nail polish nail polish. The price tag on the botton said a dollar sixty six.

At this point, she was done. That was what she had told me.

Edward and I had basically blocked out the events of New Years and just went on. He seemed all fine about it, but I was slowly burning inside. It's eating me to the core and my being just wanted me to tell him everything, but I just can't.

Valentines day had passed and there was a flurry of job applications and college applications. I had to had to start filling out my applications to the college's and I was keeping my grades as sky high as I possibly could, along with going on job interviews. I've always dedicated myself to great grades, I've always been a straight A student.

After being declined for many different jobs, I finally got a job at Jamba Juice, a place that only sells smoothies made with fresh ingredients, no added sugar. I had memorized every single ingredient for every smoothie that was sold, and while it was hard, I still got through it because I needed the money.

Fall would be here soon and I needed money for college right now. With applications sent in at the college's I am applying for, I need a job to get some money in the mean time. I knew my parents had a little bit of money put away from me, and that made me less anxious about everything.

I was hoping that maybe it would be possibly for an Acedemic Scholarship. My whole life I had dedicated myself to getting good grades, and to have financial aid pay for classes, books and etc. would just be a breath of fresh air.

March 10th

Saturday

" Can you believe that in only three months we will be graduating. Then off to college. And you and Edward are going to New York. It's going to be hard without you Bells." Alice commented as she painted her toes.

I gave her a small smile " If I even get in. Columbia is an amazing school, and I will be lucky if I can get in."

She shrugged " Your so smart Bella, and you always dedicated yourself to school. Edward will get into NYU with the snap of his finger. I'm still really surprised that he just decided to go all the way and become a law student. I mean, he wanted to be a professor of law, now he wants to be a lawyer. I'm really happy for him, truly. Who needs Tanya bitch Denali."

" I'm happy for him, too. He needs to go to his full potential and never settle for less then he knows he can do."

Alice looked up at me, giving me a smile " Of course you think that."

" What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged " Oh, nothing...Are you lusting over your best friend?"

_Yes_

" No. That's totally stupid." I lied, flipping through the Covergirl magazine.

" Your turn!" she exclaimed, grabbing a bottle of emerald green nail polish.

" No."

" Is that all you know how to say? Yes! I am giving your pretty feet a pedicure." she said happily, unscrewing the top.

I rolled my eyes "Pretty?"

" Yeah. It's not like you have dry skin or fungus. Ew!"

Just to appease her, I let Alice paint my toe-nails and my finger nails. I did her finger nails when I finished drying mine. She was truly surprised that I knew how to paint nails, considering she'd never seen me do it before.

We chatted about girl stuff, and of course Jasper. She said they'd been kind of on the rocks until Emmett yelled at him to forget about what happened, and not to let it effect his relationship with Alice. She claimed that Emmett had punched him in the arm hard enough to bruise. He got the picture real fast and snapped up.

What happened really didn't have anything to do with Alice and Jasper, they were just being influenced by their family and friends. I didn't want anybody's relationship to be sprained by what Tanya had done, and what Rosalie caused afterwards.

" So, have you been applying to design schools?" I asked.

Alice nodded enthusiastically " Yes! And I am so excited. Well, of course I have to do internships and everything. But it's so exciting that I could someday be working for a famous designer. Or hell, I may be a famous designer!"

I smiled " That's really great, Alice. Your sketches are amazing. Anybody would be privileged to have you as an assistant, or work beside you on a line."

" Thanks, Bella." she said sincerely, leaning over to hug me.

" And one of these days you are going to own your own newspaper."

I laughed " I don't know if I can go that far."

We watched movies and ate popcorn all night, just acting like two best friends on a sleepover. It was nice to just act like a girl, not that I never did, but I couldn't really talk about girl stuff with Edward. Of course he wouldn't give a shit and tell me to talk to a girl. Which is why I loved Alice. Shopoholic or not, Alice was my friend and I liked girl time every once in awhile.

We fell asleep passed out in my bed around midnight, blankets and pillows mused up all around us as we slept comfortably.

" Every guys dream. Two girls in one bed."

Alice rolled to the side and threw a pillow somewhere in the room. Her hair was an absolute mess, and I wouldn't be surprised if mine was worse. Even though I am not a fan of sharing my bed, even with a friend, I slept like a rock last night, and Alice didn't even kick me or anything.

" Get out of here, Edward!" Alice screeched when he sat on the bed.

" Why?" he whined " I'm bored."

Slowly he wormed his way in the space between Alice and I, his lean form easily doing as such. I pushed against him towards Alice and she pushed him back against me. We shoved back and forth with him, neither of us wanting him so close.

" Sorry, Bella. I'm taken."

" I like this game." Edward grinned as I shoved against his body, he felt kind of...sweaty?

"Why is your shirt wet?" I asked, my face still buried in covers.

" Just got back from the gym."

" Ew! Get out!" Alice screeched, kicking him.

Edward flailed around trying to get Alice to stop, his hand flew back and hit me straight in the nose, also hitting Alice on the forehead at the same time. She brought her hand up to her forehead and I slapped Edward as hard as I could.

" Should of had a v8 Alice."

" You are so idiotic I think I am losing IQ points by just being in your presence." she bashed, stumbling out of my bed.

Like a jackass, Edward just smiled at her brightly " Love you, Alice."

" I hope you trip and knock your teeth out, asshole."

He rolled his eyes and she went into the bathroom, shutting the door

" OVER DRAMATIC!"

She yelled back at him and I heard the shower turning on. I rolled over, taking the pillow I was hugging with me. I sniffed once, yawned and draped my leg over a mound of blankets. I felt a hand on my hair, tugging annoyingly.

" What is your deal, Edward. Stop acting like a child." I complained.

" I can see your tattoo with the shirt your wearing." he announced, ignoring my previous comment.

" Congratulations." I mumbled against my pillow, hugging my blanket to my chest.

Just the slighest, I felt something brush against my back, but it was quickly pulled away. It was his lips, and only the slightest of pressure before he pulled away. A small gasp escaped my lips and I sat up, looking over my shoulder at him, but Edward was gone, the door left ajar.

.Hell

Alice had gone home around lunch time and I knew that it was time for me to get ready for my shift at two. I put on a pair of dark fitted jeans and a plain white t-shirt that clung to my figure. I slipped on my converse and threw my hair up in a ponytail.

Once I grabbed my bag I headed downstairs, bidding my parents goodbye and grabbing my car keys. The weather was abnormally warmer, now starting to hit the sixties and seventies. But it was spring and summer was approaching. I just hoped I could have a good summer before I went off to college.

I pulled up to my work place, parking out back and getting out. I slipped on my black apron with the Jamba Juice logo, tying it around my neck and waist, slipping on my visor. I waved to Heidi and Pat, my co-workers. Today I was taking register and the other two were blending.

The day was a whirlwind of Berry Lime Sublime, Chocolate Moo'd and Mango-A- Go-Go's. Heidi left for the day and Pat was blending himself, I helped him out every once in awhile, but it slowed as time went on. When I saw a familar person walking in, I wanted to run.

It was Kevin, also known as, the guy that fired me from my job without any notice. He smiled at me brightly. I wouldn't say that I hated him, but I was still upset at the fact that he fired me. Kevin and his siblings had known that I was using that money for college, and that I needed that money for college. But in the end, they acted like they didn't even care because a family member needed a job, when I was the one who probably needed it more then some sixteen year old. It just hurt me that he knew my situation, yet he went through with firing me in the long run. I wasn't going to hold it over him, but I couldn't help my feelings.

" Welcome to Jamba Juice, what can I get you today?"

" Hey, Bella. Strawberry Surfrider."

I asked his name, but already knew it, and he paid for the juice smoothie, swiping his debit card. As he waited on the side, he looked at me again, smiling. Pat mixed up his smoothie, glancing at me a few times upon seeing my weird expression.

" So, when did you get a job here?"

" I really don't think it's any of your business." I stated calmly, tapping my fingers

He sighed " Bella, I'm really sor-"

" Look, you knew my family situation, and that I needed money for college and an apartment, but you didn't give me notice. Don't apologize okay, just...take your smoothie and go."

Pat handed him the drink and he walked out, not looking back. It was five to ten and Pat was going to close up tonight. Heidi was supposed to but she had Pat take extra hours because it was her kids second birthday and she wanted to make it to most of her party.

" Former co-worker, eh. Awkward." he commented.

" Yeah...Awkward is right." I stated, dropping in the ingredients for two Berry Lime Sublime's.

" Taking smoothies home to the boy toy?" he asked, cleaning the blenders.

I scoffed " Yeah, right...No, just going to drop by."

Pat was a good friend, but he didn't know that I liked Edward, just that we were good friends. Edward came in once in awhile while I was working, just to bug me and joke around. As far as they knew, Edward was just a good buddy.

" Well, have fun at school, kid."

I put straws in the styrofoam cups and waved him goodbye. " Later, Pat."

When I reached home I got out and headed towards Edward's. I could see his light in his bedroom on, so he was still awake. I hadn't seen him since this morning, after the whole kissing my back. The front door was already unlocked so I just opened it and headed upstairs, knocking on the bedroom door before opening it.

He was sitting on his bed, playing a video game on the Xbox 360, in an epic Call of Duty battle. Edward paused when he heard me and I walked towards him, handing out the smoothie towards him. He smiled thankfully and took it from me.

" I love your job." he commented.

" Yeah, I know. I'll see you tomorrow." I said.

" Goodnight, Bella."

" Night, Edward."

I ruffled his hair, hearing his protests, and walked from his room, heading home. It was quiet like it normally was when I got home late. I did some last minute reading for school and drank my smoothie. After using the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I got into bed and fell into a deep sleep.

When I awoke, I was very tempted to slam the alarm clock into the wall and say fuck it. Instead, I got up and showered, dressing in simple clothes and putting on barely any makeup.

Edward drove both of us to school quietly, clearly he was as exhausted as I was. When we got out, I could hear Tanya's annoying giggles as she slung herself over Tyler. Edward frowned and I grabbed his hand, like I always did to comfort him, walking us inside the school.

I couldn't believe that she was actually dating him still. Him out of all people? She had to be cheating on him, because once a cheater, always a cheater. It's a very old, true, saying.

He shook my hand loose as we went up the stairs of the school. Hurt flooded my body and I felt a pang in my chest, clenching. When we got into school, I walked to my locker, staring into it blankly and feeling a little upset.

" Is it wrong to hold your hand?" I asked quietly.

" I just don't want people to think that it means something more."

I grabbed my books from my locker and shut it. " Okay... Well, I'd better go." I said just as quiet.

" Bella, I didn-"

" No, your right. Really. I'm sorry."

When I got to class, I really didn't even bother to pay attention. My next class was with Edward, he didn't really say anything, I did my work as I should and went to my last two classes before lunch started. I really was not in the mood to be here anymore, just feeling like I wanted to lay in bed and do nothing.

Lunch passed in a blur, and then Biology went. Next was beloved gym.

We were doing dodgeball, and damn to I hate dodgeball when Tanya Denali and her minions were against me. I moved quickly out of the way as best I could, and Edward was having a blast dodging all of these people. I turned around just a moment and was hit in the back of me knee. I fell of course, and got hit in the head.

Kill. Me. Now.

I was pissed.

I stood up, gripping a ball and throwing it at the first person I found across from me.

That was was very unfortunate for Mike Newton. I heard a loud, high-pitched scream before he cupped himself and fell to the ground. I knew that I had through that ball hard because I was pissed. I threw that dodgeball really hard

Coach Clapp let him stand out, and I smiled shyly as Edward laughed next to me. I apologized to Mike, not wanting to look like a bitch if I just stayed quiet about it. He was straining out words, which made me feel worse. I got a pretty good hit at Carmen, hitting the side of her head as she was about to serve a ball at Jessica Stanley.

Finally, gym was over and the end of school bell rang. I changed my clothes, putting on some much needed deodorant and heading back to my locker. I dropped off some of my books and brought the ones I needed with me in my bag.

Edward was quiet on the way back, so when he pulled up to his house, I just went home to get my homework finished for today. I got inside my house, seeing that my parents weren't home as usual. I went to my bedroom and flopped down on my bed, getting my homework out from my bag. I grabbed a pencil and did my Algebra homework, along with the packet for history.

At four I went down and grabbed a packet of fruit snacks and a granola bar. I heard the front door open as I was laying on my back, eating the food that I had retrieved from downstairs earlier. Edward walked in, seating himself beside me comfortably with a hard look on his face.

" Are you upset at me?"

" No." I sighed

"Good. Just making sure."

" You walked all the way over here just to make sure. Why didn't you just call?"

" Because I can tell when your lying by seeing your face.. Though I know the expression you wear over the phone sometimes. That's kind of creepy but I know you really well, so I guess it isn't that creepy. Do you think it's creepy?"

" Your rambling."

He shrugged.

" I'm bored..."

" Yeah...Me, too."

**Authors Note- READ! READ! READ! READ! READ!**

**Hope that got your attention.**

**Follow me on Twitter, link in FF profile for my profile page on Twitter. I am now posting links when I put teasers up for future chapters.**

**Now I hate to do this to you guys ( But I just can't resist) It has to be done, I love anticipation.**

**NEXT UPDATE!: Friday, June 4th**

**New Teasers will be posted for Chapter 28 (Ch. 29 including Prologue) sometime this weekend. Don't have twitter? Well get one and follow me! I promise to post a link. Love you all, review if you'd like.**


	29. The Depths of Love

**Authors Note- This is going to be kick-ass. KICK-ASS! I have read this, edited it a million times, added to it. I hope you all are excited as I am. Probably too excited to even read this, hope you are anyways.**

**IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT!**

**READ THE THINGS BELOW! PLEASE! I WOULD VERY WELL APPRECIATE IT!**

**Chapter Song's- **

**Apologize by: Timberland**

**Angels on The Moon by: Thriving Ivory**

**Shattered by: O.A.R.**

_Story Quote-_

_The cruelest kind of love. The one that almost kills its victims, is unrequited love… Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories? Those of us who fall in love _alone_? We are the victims of the one-sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. The _unloved_. The walking wounded. _

_- Kate Winslet_

_-The Holiday_

_Official Chapter Song- Come Around by: Stars Go Dim_

_You've got to believe me, When I say I'll follow you. _

_Through the depths of higher water, 'til the end I'll fight for you. _

_I'll wait till you come around, 'till you find yourself in you. _

_'Til you find that there is no one who _

_could love you more than me. _

_And I'll wait 'til I'm your last memory _

_and I'll hold you till you fall in love. _

_'Cause I'll be here when you _

_come around. _

_I'll never be the one to put you out or put you down. Your _

_life will never be the same. When you're with me honey everything seems to _

_fall in place. Somehow I'll be here when you come around. _

_You have your doubts on love, you will always have your fears. _

_You will have your apprehensions, scared that love will lead to tears. _

_I will always be, right here waiting for you. _

_Cause forever love doesn't always come around _

_everyday. _

_'Cause I'll be here when you come around. _

_I'll never be the one _

_to put you out or put you down. _

_Your life will never be the same. When _

_you're with me honey everything seems to fall in place._

_Somehow I'll be here when you come around. _

_So take your time, don't you worry now._

_I don't want to rush you into anything, that you're not ready for. _

_'Cause when the time is right you know that I'll be waiting here, to love you girl._

_I'll never let you go._

_'Cause I'll be here when you come around. I'll never be _

_the one to put you out or put you down. _

_Your life will never be the _

_same. _

_When you're with me honey everything seems to fall in place. _

_Somehow, I'll be here when you come._

_'Cause I'll be here when you come around._

_I'll never be the one to put you out or put you down._

_You'll live will never be the same. When your with me_

_honey, everything seems to fall in place._

_Somehow, I'll be here when you come around_

_I'll be here when you come around._

_I'll be here when you come around_

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

June 3rd

Sunday

2007

BPOV

Today was the day that I was officially graduating Highschool. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. After this, I would have to wait on the college applications I sent out. Everybody was in a hustle, this morning I had to get up early so we could do a rehearsal for the ceremony.

My dress was hung on a hanger after being perfectly steamed. It was a simple black spaghetti strap dress that went to my knee's, with a black lace overlay and a thin light blue ribbon on the waist. The shoes I am going to wear are light blue stiletto's, matching the ribbon perfectly. Almost too perfect.

Alice and I had gone shopping together, putting alot of time into what we were going to wear. Newton was hosting one of his blowouts after the ceremony, but I had gently told Alice that I didn't want to go, and since I wasn't going to, neither was Edward because he is unwilling to attend without my presence.

Prom had been on Friday, and I hadn't bothered to go, but Edward went with the rest of them, and had a good time. I was glad that he went. Prom just really wasn't my scene, so I just decided to skip it like I'd done to all of the other dances.

I have no dates, I have no dress, so why even bother to go when I know that I won't have a good time. Ontop of that I am horrible at dancing, and it would just be a waste to attend a dance when I couldn't dance to save me.

Tonight our parents just decided to get us a cake, and I definately wasn't opposed to eating anything chocolate with frosting. I would be a complete and utter idiot to decline cake.

The ceremony starts at seven, and ends at about nine or so. I spent the day lazing around and watching television. Edward was going to pick up his brand new tux that Esme and Carlisle had purchased for him two weeks ago. He had gotten it fitted and it was probably flawless.

Pat was covering my hours today, and then I would just continue on the summer working until I went off to college and had to quit. Of course they knew about it, because I would never put them in the dark about that kind of future situation.

I was a little scared whether or not I would get into the college I wanted, but I knew that I had good grades to get in, and just hoped that they would accept me. It was quite nerve wracking just waiting for them to answer back after I sent the application in late March. And if I did get in, then I would be going off on my own, that is if Edward changed his mind about New York or didn't get in.

I prayed that we would be together for college, I'd have no idea what to do without him if he didn't live atleast within an hour of me. We've always been like two minutes away from eachother, and I couldn't stand the feeling of knowing that I couldn't just go over an see him with a short distance between us.

" Are you nervous, sweetheart?"

I shook my head, looking at my mother. " No, not really."

I picked up the maroon gown and cap, the gold-ish colored tassel hanging from the cap. I took a seat on my bed, taking a deep breath and smiling.

" I'm very proud of how far you've come. And even though you want to be miles and miles away from me, I just want you to be happy and do what you think is best."

" Thanks, mom."

At six thirty I had already showered, done my hair and make-up, and was slipping into my dress. I held it against my chest as my mother zipped it up for me. I had wore a black push up bra underneath it. I'd tried it on not wearing one, but the dress wasn't very supportive for my bust and it looked odd.

Once it was zipped up, I sat on my bed, grabbing my light blue heels and slipping them on, slinging the strap behind my ankle and standing up. Luckily, the weather outside was nice today, not too cold and not windy. Just nice.

I checked myself quickly before grabbing my cap and gown, slipping into my truck. As I was about to back out, there was a tap on the passenger window. I looked over, seeing Edward. Oh, fuck did he look amazing in the black and white tux. I wanted to lick him. Of course his hair was sticking up, having a mind of his own. His face was perfectly shaven and clean. I rolled the window down.

" Yeah?"

" Can we go together. I feel kind of lonely."

I rolled my eyes and he hopped in, draping both of our gowns over his lap. His eyes wandered over me, a smile coming to his face.

" You look beautiful, Bella." he said sincerely.

I blushed " Thanks. You clean up pretty nice."

I pulled out of the driveway and sped down the streets towards the school.

" Jesus, how do you use the petal in those four inch monsters."

I shrugged " It's not that hard. I would of gone for shorter but Alice insisted, and she's been having a hard time lately so I decided to just make her happy."

When I pulled into the school parking lot, it was already packed, people parking on the grass at this point. I sent a quick text to my mother before getting out of the car and heading into the school. When we got in, they were getting the teachers in line. All the teachers would be walking out first, then the student's.

Edward leaned against the wall, unbuttoning his suit jacket slowly. I looked at him warily, wondering why he was doing that at this moment.

" What are you doing?"

He showed me the vest underneath the jacket, it was a light blue, matching the ribbon on my dress, along with the light blue heels that I was wearing. I laughed quietly and shook my head.

" I don't think they will ever try to stop matching us. I mean, this blue doesn't even match the maroon tie I have on. They said nobody would see it. Mom insisted." he chuckled, buttoning it back up.

" I don't think so either."

Finally about fifteen minutes later we were getting lined up. I felt absolutely horrible for Edward because his last name was Cullen, and he had Denali right after him. Why couldn't people have a last name with two letters ' Da' or at least ' De ' with any letter before ' n '.

When I heard the music, I slipped my cap on and zipped up my gown. All the teachers were wearing gold, and it wasn't a really nice gold, almost dirty looking. There really was no choice though because the school colors were gold and maroon. I was glad that I didn't have to wear the gold, I looked terrible in that color.

Slowly I walked with all the other people who were in the line next to me, and the people infront of me. Chairs and a stage were set up in the football field, and from what I could see, there were lots and lots of people filling the bleachers

We split up left and right with the people next to us, and I took my seat on the metal chair. It was very hot from the sun that was beaming down, but it seemed cooler after a little while. The speech by the Principal and the Valedictorian came and went, and truly, all of the Valedictorian speech's had something to do with 'Our lives are just starting'. I really think that someone needed to say that that line shouldn't be used anymore.

I sat in my chair as they went through a few of the names. I cheered loudly when Alice got on the stage, she was smiling brightly at the principal and photographer. I could hear her family cheering from a distance, making me smile for her.

When they got to the C's, they went on and one until they finally got closer to Edward's. I didn't know where our parents were going to be seated, but I wondered how badly they would embarass him infront of a crowd of family, friends and students.

" Edward Cullen." the principal said.

I smiled, letting out a loud whistle using both of my fingers. I could hear Esme screaming, very loudly, 'THATS MY BOY!'. And Emmett clearly yelled 'GO, CULLEN!'. He took his picture and grabbed his diploma, walking down the steps gracefully and taking his seat.

Rosalie was quite loud when Tanya's name was said. I rolled my eyes and listened as they went on. I cheered for Emmett, who was all smiles and goofy up on the stage. About ten thousands names later I was standing up in a line by the stairs because I was almost up.

" Katelyn Sutters."

The girl got on the stage, and I gripped the railing tightly with my hand. The girl accepted her diploma and look her picture before the Principal called my name out towards the crowd of student's.

" Isabella Swan." he named clearly.

I walked up the stairs carefully and walked across the stage.

" WOO, IZ B." Emmett bellowed

" YOU GO, BELLA!" Alice's small voice rang out.

I could hear my parents, along with Carlisle and Esme. Edward yelled my name along with the others and I shook hands with the principal and he handed me the diploma. I stopped at the end of the stage, smiling at the photographer and stepping down the stairs in the grass to walk back.

They finished up all of the names of the graduates and the Principal had everyone stand for the big class announcement. I stood up, slipping my hat off and took off the tassel. The principal smiled at all of us, as did the teachers that were standing proudly on the stage.

" I am very proud to announce to you, the class of 2007. Congratulations!"

Everybody screamed and yelled and I tossed my hat in the air, letting it mix with the other hats. I didn't bother to retreive it, instead I moved on with the rest of them, shuffling out of our seats in the same line we came in with.

I went into the parking lot, searching around for anybody familar. Suddenly I was swooped up in two strong arms.

" We did it, Izzy B!" Emmett yelled, twirling me around. I screamed in surprise and he set me down, smiling at me before telling me he was going to find Rosalie.

Alice found me next, we exchanged big hugs before we went off to look for our families. I saw Carlisle, Esme and my parents, Edward standing next to them and speaking with them. Upon noticing me, Edward put his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground and kissing my temple.

My father handed me a bouquet of beautiful yellow roses and I hugged him for it, along with my mother. Esme wrapped an arm around my waist, whispering her congratulations to me.

Carlisle embraced me in a tight hug and told me how proud of me he was. He was alot of the reason why I wanted to be so successful in life, he showed me that working hard really can pay off, and while my parents taught me that, Carlisle was the one who taught me to read. After thanking them, Edward and I split, heading to my car.

It was very dark outside and crowded, Edward held my hand tightly, not wanting to lose me in the crowd. Soon we reached the car and we slipped in. I took a while for people to scatter away, but soon we were driving away.

" Can you believe we are done with highschool. Never thought I would see the day." Edward said, slinging his arm across my shoulders.

I laughed " Yeah, I know what you mean."

No more Tanya, No more Lauren or Carmen. None of them to get in my way ever again.

When we got to our homes. I stopped and put my flowers in a vase, dressing into a more comfortable attire of denim shorts and a dark red racerback, before heading over to Edward's for cake. All of them had already arrived before us, and they lit the cake for us and we blew out the candle's before digging into the chocolate goodness of the cake. It was the normal chocolate cake and frosting, which was the best if you ask me.

" I can't believe you both already graduated. I remember you both in diapers sharing the same crib." Esme said, looking between us.

" Time really does fly." I commented.

Once we all finished with the cake, our parents retreated to the living room and Edward and I cleaned up the food. I tossed out the paper plates and plastic forks into the garbage, taking the knifes and dropping them into hot, soapy water. Edward rolled up his sleeves, taking off his suit jacket and cleaning off the table.

I put the cake in the fridge so the frosting wouldn't melt, and then cleaned all of the dishes that were left in the sink throughout the day. Edward was very quiet during this time, just watching me quietly as I cleaned all of the dishes.

After drying everything with a tea-towel, I put the silverwear in drawers and the plates in the rightful cabinets where they belonged. I leaned against the counter, looking at Edward who was staring intently at me.

" Everything okay?"

" Yeah."

I looked back at him, curiousity gleaming in my eyes. Slowly he walked forward closer to me, more closer then he usually stood next to me. I stared into his emerald green eyes and reached my arm back to set the tea-towel down on the counter behind me.

His hand rested on my waist, the other on my right shoulder. He was nolonger staring in my eyes, but where his hand on my waist rested. I shifted warily, not exactly sure about what he was about to do.

" Edward, what are you?.."

Slowly he leaned down, pressing his lips gently to mine.

All of my thoughts flew out the fucking window.

The hand on my shoulder moved to my neck, pressing against the back and my head bending up towards his. My lips curling up slightly, I slowly moved my lips against his, my hand coming to rest on his hip as I leaned into him. Slowly he was pressing me against the counter, moaning into my mouth. His arm wound around my waist, pulling our bodies even closer. I tangled my other hand in his hair, tugging slightly as his tongue licked at my bottom lip.

Then, he broke away abruptly, turning away with his back towards me. I stood for a moment, almost in a state of shock about what he'd just done.

" Why did you do that?" I asked after catching my breath.

" I don't know." he answered, looking at me.

Oh god...Now, it's time to tell him. I felt the panic inside me, but I somehow knew that now it was time to tell him how I felt about him. I wouldn't tell him I loved him. I wouldn't go that far.

This moment could either make me or break me, I knew that, and it scared me, but everything was telling me to just get it out. To just let my feelings spill out of me and get rid of the one ton weight that was on my shoulders for so many year.

I ignored my head and looked at him, trying to talk with my heart.

" What would you say if I said I liked you more then just a best friend?" I asked in a whisper.

Immediatly his gaze met mine, his eyes widening. I looked down at my hands and sighed quietly.

" What did you say?"

" I said. What would you say if I said I liked you more then just a best friend?" I asked more clearly.

" I-I-I...No, thats just not right. Were like siblings, Bella. That's very wrong to think about."

I sighed " Were not, Edward."

An odd expression was on his face and he started to walk away. I followed him, stopping him in the foyer by grabbing his bicep. He stopped moving and I stepped around him, staring into his deep emerald eyes.

" Don't walk away from me."

" Bella...How can you think like that? How _long_ have you thought like that?" he asked incredulously

I sniffed, biting my lip nervously " I've liked you for awhile, since we first kissed."

" What?"

" Edward, I've liked you since I was thirteen years old." I confessed

" Oh my god." he whispered.

" I couldn't tell you. For the first few years I was just shy about it because I was scared. Then Tanya came along and I knew...I knew that I could of never told you while you were dating her because it would ruin everything, and I don't know if I am ruining everything now...But I can't hold it inside of me any longer. It eats at me every day and I can't take it. When I'm not with you, I want to be. I think about you all the time. I can talk to you hours on end without getting bored and everytime I touch you...Edward, I just..."

" Bella." he whispered brokenly " We can't be together. It's wrong, it's so so wrong. Both of us were raised as siblings. We took bath's together, shared cribs...hell, we shared parents! And now you tell me that you have kept a secret of liking me for...five fucking years? I mean, come on."

" Why...Why is it so wrong? I mean, you just kissed me, and New Years day..."

He shook his head. " It can't ever happen. It's wrong."

" Can't you just understand. You've always understood me, Edward. Please just...I love you."

The word love slipped out on accident, I hadn't meant to say it.

Edward stood up, suddenly stiffer at the last part of the sentence.

Ghandi said whatever you do in life, will be insignificant. But it's very important that you do it.

I tend to agree with the first part.

I have no doubt that it's not true. Everything I do, has little value and importance.

I stood before him, the chandelier's lights gleaming down on our bodies. His gaze was fierce, intense, and made me want to look away from the shining emerald green. My throat felt like it was closing and my mind was running haywire. There were too many thoughts to process and I felt as if I were going to explode.

Edward stared at me, standing tall and stiff, as if he was ready for anything that I was going to tell him. I knew him better then he knows himself. Edward hates painful truths, it's just something that gets to him. And he has weakness's.

I am one of his.

All I wanted was for him to understand. Edward always understood me, but he couldn't seem to grasp how I feel for him, how my attachment to him ran deep,. He was the only thing keeping us apart. His hesitance and confusion. I wanted to run my hands through his gorgeous bronze hair and tell him that it's okay, that I understood his mixed feelings. But I was angry. Angry that he messed with my mind, knowing that it would be simple, easy.

" Bella," he whispered brokenly, shaking his head.

" Your scared!" I accused " Your scared because you know that I love you and you don't want to love me back." I screamed, a hand running through my untamed wild hair.

" I can't love you, Bella! Why can't you just understand."

" Because your reason is pathetic." I wailed. " Why did you kiss me tonight? How could you mess with me like that?" I yelled

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, something he did when he was frusterated or nervous. I stared down at my battered converse and denim shorts, wanting to be swallowed by the world.

" I can't do this anymore. Maybe when your ready then we can talk this out. But as of now, I need to get out of here."

" Bella, don't leave me. I ca-"

I scoffed " What? You can't deal with me being gone? Well, I've waited for you for a long time and now you can wait until I am ready. For once, I am putting myself first and right now, I can't be here. The beginning of Junior year you started pushing me away, and that's why I was so messed up. You took my heart and just kicked it around like a toy and then it got better and you just...confused me. I don't know what to think now."

Reaching for my hoodie, I saw my mother enter the foyer, Carlisle, Esme and my father coming in and shuffling around the area. They all seemed to look surprised, except for Esme. She knew that I loved him, in some strange way. I have never spoken of my feelings for Edward to anyone, and now I had laid everything out for everyone to see. I felt bare... exposed.

" Sweetheart-" my mother started

" I. Can't. Be. Here. I can't walk around like I am fine when I'm in love with my best friend...And he... he doesn't love me back. I need to get my head straight, and I can't do it here."

I looked at her, tears in my eyes " I'll catch a flight to London and stay with gran and pappy. Please, understand." I begged, feeling like I was going to break apart at any given moment.

" Okay, be careful." she whispered

I looked towards Edward " When I come back, you can tell me how it is." I whispered, my voice just above a whisper.

I opened the front door and took one step out. I felt Edward's hand lock around my wrist tightly, stopping me from moving further. Slowly I turned around to look at him. He looked broken, upset and very confused. I understood the feeling. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek as he stayed unmoving.

" I love you," I whispered before running down the stairs.

As I packed my bag, I called a taxi to come. I packed my belongings, stiffling the sobs of pain ripping through my entire being. I felt like I was slowly shattering inside, like everything was going to crash down inside of me at any moment and there was nothing thtat I could do to stop it

I shoved a few handfuls of clothes, personal items and a few important things into the bag quickly. I zipped my bag shut and grabbed my phone, dialing the number to my grandparents. It was nine fifty here, and three fifty in the morning there. I only hoped they would wake to answer the phone for me.

I heard a tired Grandpa Allen answer the phone, answering with a quiet greeting.

" Grandpa." I said through tears.

" Darling, are you crying? What's wrong."

" I'm leaving the states. I need you to pick me up from the airport. I'll call you when I get there okay?"

" Is everyone okay?"

" Yeah, I just...I need to leave right now. I can't be in Chicago anymore."

" No problem, honey. I'll see you soon, have a safe flight."

I hung up the phone and grabbed my passport, turning off everything in my bedroom and slamming the door. I lugged my bag down with me, hearing the taxi driver honking the horn. I ran out of the house, putting my bag in the back with me and ordering him to drive to O' Hare Airport.

I didn't let the sobs get to me when I was in the car, or when I got to the airport. I hopped on a flight that was at ten thirty to London, buying my ticket and getting on the plane without one glance back. I arrived at London at eight fifteen their time, my body feeling numb.

The people in the airport, running in a rush, were ghosts with just voice's. I felt like I was somehow fading. Edward's words played over and over in my head, breaking me apart further until I could barely hold myself together.

I called my grandpa and he picked me up from the airport, squeezing me tightly and ushering me into the car, grabbing my bag for me and putting it in the trunk. As he drove towards his and Grandma Claire's house.

" What happened, love?"

" E-Ed-Edw-" I couldn't even say his name without choking on it.

When we arrived at the house, Grandma Claire was sitting on the porch. Her dark hair in two braids down her back. I grabbed my bag from the trunk, making my way to the porch of my fathers childhood house. I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around my grandma, letting my sobs take over my body.

" Oh, baby girl. Allen, did she talk?"

" Edward." he said gruffly.

I cried even louder feeling the anguish of his name. I fell next to her into the outside couch, my body emptying all of the tears of pain and rejection from my body.

She ushered me into a room after I had finally been able to get up, leaving me to get water and soup. I cried into the pillow, soaking it with my tears as my body shook violently. My phone rang and rang, but I couldn't move to answer it.

I couldn't move to do anything. Because all I felt was pain.

Esme POV

The house phone was ringing around the time Isabella would be in London if she got a flight out soon, she'd must of been there for a few hours already though. I felt my heart breaking for her just thinking about the situation. Edward had locked himself into his room after staring at our front door for an hour, no expression on his face.

Swan, Allen; flashed across the caller I.D and I immediatly picked it up.

" Allen, thank goodness. Is she okay?"

" Hi, Esme, it's Claire."

" Is she okay?"

I heard her sigh " She's broken, Esme. Fell right apart in my arms the moment I touched her. I finally got her to one of the rooms. When I brought her soup she was still sobbing. Do you know what happened to the poor, dear?"

" Isabella...I've noticed that she'd taken a liking to Edward over the years, but he was dating another girl. I really think that did a great deal on her until they broke up. Apparently Edward kissed her tonight and she told him that she loved him...And he just doesn't think it's right. She probably feels rejected right now. She ran out of here after telling us all goodbye."

" I'm going to hit that boy of yours."

" Carlisle tried to talk to him, but he just completely shut down and locked himself in his bedroom. I think he feels the same way...But he's confused right now. I know that he would never hurt her on purpose like that, Isabella means the world to him."

" I know that...Look, I'll just call you next week and tell you how everything is going."

" Okay, Claire. Take care, send Isabella my love."

" No problem, goodbye, dear."

" Bye."

**Authors Note- Not long, but it sure as hell is one of a chapter. I hope it's what you guys expected, or not what you expected but you liked it anyways... I think I deserve some major love.**


	30. Days Spent Alone

**Authors Note- The reviews last chapter blew me away and we are getting somewhat close to a thousand reviews. I know we can do it! I appreciated every single review, and read each one. I love hearing what you guys think!**

**This was a hard one to write, because capturing the feelings is so hard. I'm trying, but these are actually my favorite chapters I've written, ones with them apart. Surprising right.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Chapter Song- Set the Fire to the Third Bar by: Snow Patrol**

June 9th, '07

Six days after

EPOV

I don't know what had possessed me to get up in the middle of the night, from my warm bed, to sneak into Bella's room and sleep in her room, which was bathed in her essence of vanilla. My salty tears soaked into her pillow case, and onto her pillow. The coldness of the room reminded me that Bella's warmth wasn't here, it was all the way in London, far away from me.

At the moment, while everything was happening, I wasn't able to proccess the situation fully. The state of shock I had been in had been utterly paralyzing, I was surprised I could even get out a full sentence to her, and while I wanted to run after her when she left, I couldn't.

I have to let her go in order for her to come back.

She loves me.

And I love her, but not in a way that I thought I could love her. Being in a romantic relationship with Bella had never really crossed my mind, she was my buddy, my best friend, my confidant and go-to-person. I poured my entire being into our relationship so that I would be a great friend like she deserved.

But it had never crossed my mind to be her lover. We've kissed three times in our friendship. Our first kiss, New Years and the night of Graduation, and I had absolutely no idea why I kissed her that night. We were standing close, and a feeling had washed over me that just ruled my body, I had to kiss her.

I had felt something that night when I kissed her. I could feel electric sparks running haywire through my body. I felt comfortable being that close to her. And I didn't know why I felt like that; I pulled away because it was the only thing I could come up at the time.

I didn't expect her to tell me that she liked me. Let alone liked me when she was thirteen and now loved me. I could only imagine the gut wrenching pain she felt when she saw me with Tanya, and that only opened new doors.

The emotional turmoil she must of went through must of been horrible for her to handle, she should of never had to deal with the pain that she felt about the whole situation, but it wasn't like I could do anything because I had no clue in the world that she had feelings other then friendship towards me.

" Esme, believe me, I love Edward and I have no problem with him being here, but he hasn't left her bedroom. At all."

" I know. I've been taking to Claire a bit about everything. She's said that Isabella had completely fallen apart when she got there, and she hasn't stopped crying. She doesn't eat and when she sleeps, she's woken up screaming bloody murder. I heard it when we were talking. Renee, it's horrible."

" She'll be okay. I'm sure of it. I'm a little worried about Edward though."

" Renee, you need to concern yourself with your daughter. The one who ran off to London to get away from here, away from all the hurt."

I let out a broken sob into the pillow.

I did that to Bella.

" Exactly, Esme, and she needs to be left alone."

" She ISN'T eating and barely sleeping, that could kill her!"

I'm killing Bella... I reached into my pocket, grabbing my phone and dialing her number once again, it went straight to her stupid voicemail that I had heard already. When I heard the beep after her voice, I took a deep breath.

" Bella, please...Please answer the god damn phone before I kill something. I need to hear your voice, I need you to tell me that everything is going to be okay between us. Just come back home to us..to me. Your the best friend I've always needed and always wanted. Please call me."

I hung up my phone, tossing it carelessly on the floor.

The door in the bedroom suddenly opened, my mother stepping through and sitting on the side of the bed. She rubbed my jaw, where I was in the makings of growing a beard.

" Honey, Edward...You've must get up from this bedroom and out of this room. It's not going to make anything better."

" I want her back. It's been almost a week and I feel as if more then half of myself has just been ripped apart." I whispered.

She sighed " I think you were caught off guard by her feelings. I think because you were so shocked, you had no time to think. But she's going to be coming back soon, she has to set up for college. Then I guess it's up to you whether or not your both more then friends."

I could either make Bella very happy, or break her. What would happen if I got married someday? Would she go on living her life in sadness? Would I go on in life not knowing what it would be like to give it a try? I never thought kissing Bella was gross like most would with friends, but I never thought more of it until I kissed her that night.

That time, it wasn't because others encouraged us to do it, or because we were curious, it was a real kiss for us. I felt so stuck and confused as to what I was going to do about it. I couldn't break Bella's heart, I couldn't break her. It would be like throwing a eight week old puppy off a cliff.

" Edward, don't cry."

" She's having nightmares?" I asked, sniffing once.

She shook her head " I won't get into that. When she comes back, if she choose's to tell you what had gone on, she will."

" You told Renee."

" It's her daughter."

I scowled " I'm more closer to Bella then any of you are."

Gently she patted my arm, standing up " I think that being here isn't making it better."

I buried my face in Bella's pillow and hugged it tightly to my chest. " It smells like her."

The bedroom door shut and I sighed, taking a deep breath. My mother didn't understand anything, she didn't have to go through all this to get my dad, she never felt this way because she didn't wait for my dad while he ran away from her. After all this was over, I didn't know what would happen.

BPOV

" I made you a sandwich, honey."

" I'm not hungry." I stated dryly, wiping the tears.

" Isabella, you have to eat. All you do is lay in this bed and your getting skinny that it's scaring me. When was the last time you took a hot shower. Hm?"

My eyes gazed out of the window, seeing the annoying sun brightly shining through the window, flooding the room with it's light. I cleared my raspy throat and sniffed, my nose completely stuffy and clogged up.

" I'm fine."

" Your weak, I can see it. And you barely sleep. Do you realize these kinds of things kill a person?"

Now my grandma just sounded plain old pissed. I sat up and reached out for the plate, my body was so weak I could barely even lift the plate. Setting it down in my lap, I bit into the sandwich, there was alot of things in this sandwich, but I couldn't even taste it.

" I have some homemade chicken soup, and I am making you eat a great big bowl of that. Then you can shower up and then lay back down if you want to."

" Thanks, Grandma."

She nodded " Of course, darling. Now eat."

I never really thought I was that hungry, but I scarfed the sandwich down in only five minutes, eating every single last bite and crumb. She came up with the soup, warmed up from the microwave with a spoon, also holding a glass of water in her hand.

I ate it slowly, drinking in the broth and chewing the carrots, celery and chicken. She made sure that I ate the whole entire bowl before letting me get up to shower. For the first time, I opened my suitcase, seeing my phone which was dead and my clothes that were wrinkled.

Finding a pair of sweatpants, I threw them on the bed along with a tanktop. There was already hair and body stuff in the shower for me to use, so I cleaned up with all of that. The hair on my legs was gross and stubbly to the extreme. I shaved quickly and bathed, washing my hair and body thoroughly.

The first three days were the worst, and things still are bad now. I knew that I was the one that ran, but I did it so I wouldn't hurt anymore, and now I am here and I hurt more then ever before. I miss him so much, we've never been more then a house away, or an hour away. We saw eachother daily no matter what. Even when we fought we always saw eachother that day.

I wondered how he was. Probably just going on like I was never even gone, it would be easy with his friends around. Or maybe he was just as broken up as I was. Did he miss me as much as I missed him?

A loud sob broke through my mouth and I turned off the shower, drying off quickly and swiftly.

I felt like I was being rejected by the love of my life, and I had to leave because I knew that if I stayed, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Not that I was handling being here very well.

Later that Night.

_Dream._

_" It's wrong."_

_" We can't be together."_

_Rejection._

_Pain._

_Edward stood infront of me, only wearing a pair of jeans, his chest smudged with a little bit of dried on dirt. I looked at him, my expression very confused. I stepped towards him, a wet towel in my hand. He took one step back._

_" Edward, you have mud on you."_

_" I was cleaning out the pond."_

_I quirked my brow " Okay, well let me take this off."_

_" No. Don't touch me."_

_" But...But why?"_

_I started towards him, and he turned around and started walking away from me. When I had stopped walking, he turned back around to face me. His eyes looking at my face with an odd expression, unexplainable._

_" Just let me get it off, and then we can be together."_

_" No, Bella. I don't want you." he spat._

_Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes. " Why not? I'll be good, Edward. I swear."_

_" We could never work out, your not good enough for me."_

_" NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" a shrill voice screeched._

_End Dream._

" Isabella, sweetheart. Wake up!"

I struggled for a moment, then coming to my grips and realizing I was awake. I sat up, startled by the sudden awakening. The nightmares I had been having were on and off, but the ones where he said he didn't want me were the worst.

Tears streamed down my face and my throat was raw from the screaming. Grandpa Allen walked in, holding a glass of water. I drank it down and thanked him as Grandpa Claire ran her fingers through my hair as I laid back down.

" It will be okay. Give it time."

June 13th

EPOV

I ran the razor over my jaw, the hair falling into the sink along with chunks of shaving cream. The bronze beard was really getting old, and I knew that it was time for me to get up, go home and shower so I didn't look like a bum off the street.

I missed Bella even more if that was possible, but I knew that I couldn't just stop everything, even though I wanted to lock myself into her bedroom and cry all day like a fucking girl. Renee had talked me into going home to shower and eat, so I figured that I would just listen because I was doing no good.

I thought more about the idea of us being together. The fact that we were raised acting like brother and sister. I'd said that it wasn't weird being close and kissing Bella, and doing that is most definately not brotherly. I didn't think of her as a sister, she was Bella, more then just the stereotypical best friend.

At around noon as I was eating in the kitchen, I heard the doorbell going off. Slowly I stood, walking down the hall and to the foyer to open the door. Alice was standing, a confused look on her face.

" I was looking for Bella, she doesn't seem to be home or answering her phone. And what the hell happened to you. Haven't slept lately?" she rambled, bouncing into the house.

" Bella's gone...She went to London."

" And her parents right?"

I shook my head. Now she looked even more confused. This wasn't just about Bella, so I figured that I could give Alice a watered down version of everything that had gone on. I led her to the kitchen and sat down at the table, she sat across from me; tapping her fingernails on the table.

" What happened?"

I took a deep breath " After graduation a few things happened and Bella had told me that she...that she liked me more then a friend. I said a few things and she got a upset...She went to London for awhile to get herself together."

Then Alice punched my arm, and fuck did she punch hard.

" What the hell?"

" You hurt my best friend, you realize that."

I stood up " You think I don't know that? I hear about it everyday. I deal with it everyday. I'm confused okay. I spent years and years thinking of her as just a friend, nothing further. And since she was thirteen she's been in fucking love with me. Forgive me if it's a little much for me to handle at the moment."

Alice backed up " I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't..."

I let out a long sigh " It's hard. I've been trying to wrap my head around it all because when she gets back; I have to tell her how it is. And its enough pressure whether or not I am going to break her heart or make it better. Ontop of that, if I do pursue a romantic relationship with her, what the hell are the others going to think? Especially Jasper and Rosalie who are very close with Tanya. I mean, if this is fixed with them, there is no doubt she won't come around and Bella won't take Tanya's shit anymore."

" Your in a hard place, Edward. But just listen to your heart okay. Don't listen to your head because it thinks of all the wrongs. Your heart will never lead you in the wrong direction...As for Jasper, well, I don't think he'd be too bad. Of course Rose would flip her shit, but if your with Bella, then it won't matter."

" What do you think about it?"

She bit her lip and looked at me " Okay, I will admit it...It would be just a little weird, but I also think that it would be really cute. I mean if you look at it this way; you and her don't need to take all the time to get to know eachother because you know every centimeter of eachothers life."

" I like how we are only talking about the stuff what occurs if Bella and I are together."

" Well, there are negative's Edward. What happens if you fight or something happens and you break up with eachother? You would be losing one hell of a friend."

I nodded in understanding " That's what I am so worried about. I can't deal losing Bella. She's everything to me."

Alice hugged me tightly, squeezing me as tightly as her tiny arms would allow. After talking a little bit longer she left the house with a carefree smile, telling me that everything would work out just fine either way.

I was glad that I had a good friend besides Bella.

June 17th

BPOV

It was the first time that I left the damn bedroom that day, and I dressed in actual day clothes. The pain in my heart still ached, but I knew that I was the only one keeping myself here. My mother called today and I talked to her a little bit about the nightmares and a few others things around here. She told me that an envelope for Columbia was there waiting for me.

I asked her to open it for me and she did.

I got accepted into the University of Columbia. I had been making long distance preparations for all of my classes and for room and board. There was a decision that I had made awhile ago when it came for where I would be staying, and I had decided to get an apartment close to the University so that I could have my space, get a job outside campus and do fine that way.

There was alot of excitement when I found out I got accepted, it was the light in the current darkness of my life. The charger for my phone was left home, so I had a dead phone and probably several missed calls and messages.

Slowly I felt myself getting better each day, because I felt confindent that everything would work out great in the end. It was June 15th when I recieved a letter in the mail from him.

Edward had sent me a letter. I made my way upstairs to the bedroom that I was currently taking place in and sat on the bed, opening the envelope and reading his elegant script. My hands were shaking, but I knew that I had to read it.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I don't know how I got through the first couple of days, I probably had similar ones to you, which may make you either think I am lying, or being truthful. One night, at midnight, I snuck into your home and slept in your bed because I felt like I needed to be with you and that was the only way I knew how. But the room doesn't hold the warmth, it was cold, and the flowers on your desk are starting to wilt, making the room even more depressing then it already is._

_You don't answer your phone so I figured that a letter was best, maybe your not reading this, but I sincerely hope that you. Even if your not, it's still worth writing._

_Bella, you have to know that I didn't mean to hurt you in anyway. I was shocked to say the least because I had only thought of you in a certain way, and yet you had been thinking of me differently for many years. It was alot to take in at the moment and I didn't know how to handle it without rejecting the whole entire thing. Everything was just spilling out infront of me, it was too much and I didn't know what to do. _

_But I can't lose you because of this, your my best friend. We've grown up together, played together, shared experiences and secrets together. We know everything about eachother, how can I live without a person that I know so well, and care for so much. I can't stand not seeing you everyday, it tears me apart._

_The emotional turmoil that you have endured opens new doors. I never realized how much it hurt you when I was with Tanya, but thinking back to the beginning, the way you looked when I was around her. I'd never paid any attention to it, because I thought you were only upset about the fact that you didn't have a boyfriend. I tried though, Bella. You can't tell me I didn't try to get you to talk because I did, and you said that you nor I was ready to hear it. I knew you were hiding something, but I never imagined it to be something like that. I knew it was important by the way you cried about it, but I would of never thought in a million years it was your feelings that you had been hiding._

_I'm getting by somehow without you. It's difficult. I've never really gone a day without seeing you. Even if it was just a pass in the hallway at school, or seeing you get the mail. Just seeing you makes everything better, it makes me smile._

_Right now, I'm confused and my feelings are mixed. I needed to tell you that because I won't lie and say that I am perfectly clear in my thoughts, it's crazy inside my head, and I have no idea what to do. _

_When you come back, I will have my shit together, I promise you._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

EPOV

After I had sent her the first letter, it became a regular rountine to send a letter. I wrote two every week for her to read. Bella never wrote back, but it was okay. All I wanted was for her to know that I was still thinking about her.

I didn't talk about the situation at hand, but I told her at the end of each letter to come home and that I missed her. I told her about my day, how her parents were and how my parents were doing. But I rarely talked about how I felt.

Day after day passed in June and I still hadn't heard a word, but I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't going to stop sending her the letters because if I did, then I wouldn't be doing so great. Yes, some of them had smudged ink where I got over emotional about my feelings and cried, not about what I said, but just about thinking that she wasn't hear.

I hoped she was reading the letters, but if she wasn't, it was okay. She just needed to know that I missed her, and was thinking about her.

Alice and I had started spending time together, she was a really big help with all this because she helped keep my spirits up. Emmett also came around every once in awhile, but Rosalie was holding him on a tight leash these days so it was maybe an hour or two on the weekends.

I talked to my dad the first time today about the situation, and man did I look like the biggest sissy when I started crying again...right infront of my father. He said that he didn't understand what I was going through, but I was the one who was going to make things better or worse, and it was completely up to me. Whether or not Bella acts the way she does at my decision, is hers to deal with as he said.

My mother had been really quiet since all of this happened, I knew she talked to Grandma Claire, who talked about Bella and her condition. I'd heard them talk a little, from what it sounded like things were getting a little better each day.

I was happy for her.

BPOV

I'd been walking down the streets towards the organic fruit and vegetable stand that they had outside of a store, my grandma insisted on my getting up and going out because it was a beautiful day and I needed air. After handing me some pound, she shuffled me out of the door eagerly.

In the small crowd, I saw a familar head of dark blonde hair looking through the tomatoes. Slowly I walked up next to him.

" Hey, fancy seeing you aroung here."

He turned around, a shocked expression on his face as he looked at me. A smile spread across his face and I gave him a tiny smile.

" What are you doing here?" he asked.

" Just missed home." I lied. " How's everything been going for you? New country, new school..."

James laughed " Good, I really love it here. It's very different, but it's easy to get into the swing. Where's Edward, I'd figure he'd be with you."

" Back in the states. It's just me." I said quietly, gravitating towards the grapefruit.

It was like he knew me just as well as Edward did, or my face was a complete open book for him to read freely.

" Things with him didn't work out as planned, am I right?"

" I told him night of graduation. He immediatly thought it was wrong. But he'd kissed me before... It's confusing so I just left. He's sending me letters though, his way of letting me know he is still thinking about me is what I think."

" Are you trying to forget him?"

I gasped " God, no. I could never...Even if he doesn't want to, I still want to be his friend."

" Crazy you are."

" It's not easy, James."

He sighed " I understand...Take your time and think it all over, and in the end; I hope your happy with life, Bella."

" Thanks."

I dropped the food onto the counter, grandma smiling brightly at my choice of fruits and vegetables as she unloaded then from the bag. I sighed and plopped down in the chair with a long sigh. The heat was a little tiring, but I'd finally gotten out of the house for the first time.

" How is everything today?" she asked.

" I'm okay." I answered quietly.

I wasn't completely okay, I was on edge and still upset, but I knew that going on with my day would make me feel better. Wallowing is a sign of weakness, and I am definately not weak after everything that I have been through over the past month.

I was going to be strong about all of it because I knew that I could get through it no matter what choice Edward made. No matter how much I wanted him to be with me, I wanted him to be happy with me, not forced.

Who would want a boyfriend that felt forced into the relationship. I wanted him to be intuned with me, able to have fun with me like he is when were friends. Not weirding out and feeling awkward.

If it all ended badly though, what would I do about it? Would be stop being friends, of course it would be incredibly awkward and everything, but I also had a part inside of me that didn't want to risk our loss of friendship.

Not seeing Edward is similar to not breathing without air. For now, I could be okay, but I knew that soon I would go back because I had college to get to. Registration was the ninth of August, and I had to get things together, buy things for my apartment, FIND an apartment. I'd bailed Jamba Juice and they understood everything when I had called them to let them know that I had left.

My bank account was steady as of now. I can get what I need for college and then when I get to New York, I can get a job and take everything from there. Attend school, work and act like an adult like I have for many years.

This time, I'll just be on my own with nobody to help me financially, but I could handle it because I had to. Mooching off my parents wouldn't teach me anything. I needed to branch out from my life in Chicago and move on to good things, and hopefully, Edward will be by my side, as my lover, my best friend, though all of it.

**Authors Note- I hope you liked it. I tried my best with the emotions and shit, but yeah. Follow me on Twitter to read teasers, see what I am doing writing wise, and drabble about things that piss me off or make me incredibly happy.**

**Link for Twitter in profile.**

**Review please.**


	31. Letters to Isabella

**Authors Note- I forgot...Yes, I forgot. I am reading an amazing story, and I got caught up. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Chapter Song- You Belong with Me by: Taylor Swift.**

BPOV

_**June 19th.**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_These days have been a little slow for me, but I am getting by okay, still missing you of course. Alice and I have been spending alot of time together, we talk alot about different things, but Jasper hasn't come around because he is with Rosalie still about what happened. It's been a whole year, and nobody will talk about it or attempt to resolve it._

_We need to resolve it with you though, because you are important when it comes to the situation at hand. Emmett is being held on a leash basically and I see him maybe for a few hours on the weekend, but Rosalie is being Miss. Bitch._

_I saw Tanya at the mall with her today. Alice had dragged me there saying that I needed some fun for once, I agreed. We were walking around with our drinks and Alice had been fawning over the shirts she saw in the windows. Jasper was there, but he held her hand and was quiet._

_Tanya and Rosalie we were walking, their boyfriends holding their bags. I wanted to hit Tyler so bad Bella, you have no idea. I don't love Tanya anymore, and I never thought I had, but just seeing her with him, knowing that she hurt me so bad with him, made me cringe. Rosalie was glaring at me, sipping her stupid starbucks drink and she started mouthing off about you._

_I took her cup from her and the cap was off within seconds. Lucky for her the drink was half empty and not really that hot, just warm. I dumped it all over her grey shirt and white shorts. Did you know she wore underwear with spongebob on them? I didn't._

_Again another day to tell you about._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**June 20th.**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Today nothing happened really, it was just one of those boring days. It's really hot here, tomorrow is the first day of summer. It's probably really hot in London too, I can imagine. You don't answer my calls, and I realized the other day that you left your phone charger, I sent it with this letter as you can probably see._

_There are probably alot of voicemails. I sent sixty, which was the capacity of it, you can delete them if you want. The text limit was also two hundred and fifty, that's filled up also. Some of it is probably stupid, but charge your phone and call me if you'd like._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**June 24th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_I miss you. I say it in Italian, and it's very true. I won't talk about what happened, but I feel the loss of your presence everywhere. Riding my motorcycle really isn't the same without you behind me, and the Volvo is a lost cause when you aren't beside me._

_My mom is still really quiet, I don't know if I ever mentioned that. She talks to grandma Claire about you, and I catch a few things here and there. But it'd be better to hear the good things from you._

_I still go in your bedroom at night sometimes to sleep, I promise that I don't go through your personal belongings. Laying in your bed is just enough to keep me perfectly content with everything. Though your scent is fading away and starting to smell like me. I really hope that you don't mind all that much._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**June 27th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Alice and I went to the mall again, and we got coffee, it made us both laugh. I went into hottopic while she went into Victoria's Secret, she tried to get me to go in with her and Jasper, but it would be way too embarassing._

_Hottopic had a Muse t-shirt, and a sky blue shirt with the United Kingdom flag on it. I bought both for you and hung them in your closet. The price tag and receipt is ripped up so it can't be returned. I've never really shopped for clothes for you, but I kind of liked it..._

_I had been forced into going over to the Hale's when Alice begged me to watch a movie with her and Jasper. I think he has really been easing up on me because he gave me a nod when he saw me. I want my friend back, and I want him to realize that it went too far and it wasn't our faults._

_Rosalie, however, can go fall in a ditch._

_She had pranced herself downstairs, with Tanya, wearing the shortest of shorts that they were basically underwear. Of course Tyler had magically appeared and they were making out in the space right next to me._

_I left early._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**June 30th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Sometimes I dont know what to say to you, because the thought that you might hate me wanders around. I hope you don't, Bella. I do hope you are enjoying London, and I have some news to tell you._

_I got into NYU!_

_I'm so excited that I can barely stand it. My parents are really proud of me, and I am proud of myself for achieving it. I also got into Harvard too, and my father was absolutely thrilled. But I know your going to Columbia, and I couldn't stand being in a different state then you. A country away is already driving me to the brink of insanity._

_Bella, if things don't work out the way it's planned, I hope that you still want to be my friend, and I am not saying anything because right now. I am still confused, but as I said. I WILL get my shit together, that's a true promise._

_When I get to New York, I really want to be able to branch out from all the places. I want to grow up and live without my parents money to support me. I want to support myself because when I have a wife, I want to be stable and be able to start a family with her._

_It's my dream to get married, have kids with a sucessful job...Maybe we both can get the name?_

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**July 5th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Happy July. _

_Alice, Emmett and I went out back with my dad after the pool was completely drained of that nasty green algae water. Remember when you pushed me in the summer we were fifteen? It was October and I was so pissed at you._

_We got in the pool today, wearing our bathing suits and cleaned the lining, bleaching off the stains from the algae. Once everything was all finished, we got the hose ready and it's been filling up all day, tomorrow morning it should be done is what my dad said. _

_Alice and I have been really close lately, I never realized how great of a friend she is._

_NEXT DAY-_

_The pool is all filled up, and the water is sparkling. We put the heating mat over it for the sun to attract to it and warm it quickly. I wish you were here to take the first dive into it with me. I went to the meadow today, the flowers look so pretty. The lilacs have been growing and the tree's are very green._

_I wish I could share it with you. I talked with my mother today a little, I've been spending time with her in the kitchen alot. We bake together and talk. It's a good thing you weren't here to taste the berry cobbler I made, it was absolutely terrible. The crust was gummy and it took me about fifteen minutes to scrub it off my teeth. And the berries...lets just say they were still frozen._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**July 8th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Before I tell you the tale of events, I have been seeing Tanya entirely too often for my liking. I couldn't resist telling you._

_It started out normal today until I got a call from Alice telling me to check my e-mail. After booting up my laptop and going through my mail, there was a video in one of the attachments that was from Tanya, Alice told me to look at it._

_Did you know that Tanya Denali is Bi-sexual, and that the whole entire Youtube universe and her friends know that she is a lesbian on the side with none other then, Jessica Stanley. Can you fucking believe that? I mean this is the shy emo Jessica Stanley, making out with a girl that kicked her off the squad. And the video was recent. Of course it was just PG-13, but hell! _

_I hope it makes you laugh just as much as it made me. Registration is basically in a month. I've been looking online at apartments that I can afford when I get a job out there, hope everything is okay with you, Bella._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**July 10th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_Today Alice, Emmett and I went out on a movie binge. We saw Juno, Transformers, Disturbia, Knocked Up and Superbad. Spoiler alert on each movie below, so watch out if you don't want to know._

_Juno - Okay, so this girl get knocks up by this guy who is obsessed with orange tick tacs who is in track, wearing gold shorts. Total geek. She decides to give the baby up to this awesome family, with a cool dude who has bad horror movie taste though. Basically the dude leaves the wife who is going to be taking care of the baby when it's born, and she has the kid. Juno is pretty f-ing cool and shit. Ellen Page is good._

_Transformers- Just...cool. Megatron, Optimus. Can't get any better for me. Your going to see this with me, no matter what you say._

_Disturbia- Hello again Shia. His dad dies, he flips on a teacher who makes a comment and ends up on house arrest. A super hot chick moves in next door and he has a crush. The neighbor is suspicious for killing people and he gets wrapped up in it, along with this girl. Nobody believes him and when his mom is captured, he has to go into the dude's house, which is uber creepy. Great movie, gotta see it._

_Knocked Up- Graphic, not my favorite. You are not seieng this movie. Your too pure._

_Superbad- Fucking hilarious, okay. __Seth, Evan and Fogell are three teenage guys who love to drink and desperately wish to get laid. When a girl that Seth really likes, asks him to get the drink for her party, he sees this as a perfect opportunity to make her his girlfriend. The trio plan out how to get the alcohol, even including Fogell's new fake ID, but things won't got smoothly for the trio. Seth and Evan become separated from Fogell (now called McLovin) and they still haven't got the alcohol for the party that night._

_Well there is all the movies. I know that I suck at the descriptions, but I really don't think you want me to describe watching a baby being born in knocked up. I am not tainting your pure mind. I hope your doing good in London._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**July 15th**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_When are you coming back? Everyday has been getting a little worse after the last letter. I haven't heard from you, I know nothing, but I've been on edge and I am really starting to feel the impact more after the day you've been gone. It's been over a month now. A month without seeing you, hearing from you or anything._

_Now things are starting to get bad, but I hope that your doing okay._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

_**July 21st**_

_Dearest Bella,_

_I know I haven't written in six days, actually I've been putting this letter off because it's the last that I am going to be sending. Right now, I am no longer as confused, but in order for you to know anything, you need to come home back to Chicago._

_Everyone of our parents are starting to get a little upset about all of this, and I've had enough of being without you. Yesterday I got to the airport before my dad came to get me from getting on a plane to London. Everything is getting worse so sudden. Please, I need you to come home, now._

_I miss seeing your brown eyes, going to the diner with you, riding the motorcycle with you. I miss doing everything we used to do. Alice has been coming over more often to keep me company, and Jasper finally talked to me._

_He apologized Bella, and want to know what he said; he said that he missed Izzy B being around. I miss you, and Alice does and Emmett misses you too. Rosalie may not be in the picture, but it's obvious who is the glue to our group, and it's starting to break loose._

_This is my last letter, Bella._

_Li manco. Venga a casa, per favore._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward_

July 28th

BPOV

I read the letter over and over, examining every little single inch of it, seeing where the paper was ridged where the tears fell. His last letter he had said. I knew that since the letters had home to an end, that it was really time for me to go home. Face the music and make or break my life.

Grandma Claire smiled at me, helping me fold my clothes and stuff my belongings into my bag. My flight was booked for nine thirty tonight, it would take nine hours and fourty five minutes to get there, so I would arrive at approximently one fifteen in the morning in Chicago time.

My phone was charged, and clear of all the voicemails and texts that I had aqquired. I read most of them and listened to each voicemail. The anguish was enought for me. I picked up my phone, dialing the house phone, it was three in the afternoon back home.

" Isabella! Honey, you finally called!"

" I'm coming home today...or tomorrow. My flight lands at one in the morning, fifteen after that time. I'll call for a cab to get there, but I'll see you guys soon."

" We can pick you up, honey."

" No, it's fine really."

" We'll wait up, okay. I love you."

" You, too...And I'm sorry."

" It's alright, honey. Just get home."

I hung up my phone, continueing my packing job. I rolled up my charger, stuffing it in, along with a stray pair of jeans on the floor and two t-shirts that were on the bed. I folded it up and put the last of it in the suitcase, zipping it up confidently with a smile on my face.

Grandpa Allen opened my door for me and I stepped out, grabbing a hold of my bag. He embraced me tightly, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my temple. I would miss him, but we would visit soon enough, and this time, it would be for a good reason.

" Thank you, for taking me in at such late notice."

" Of course, honey. Be safe, okay?"

" Always am."

I went through baggage and told them my only carry on was my phone, I showed them my plane ticket and passport, I walked through the terminal and onto the plane, taking my place in a second class seat by the window.

A girl, maybe fifteen was sitting next to me, listening to her iPod and bopping her head. I could hear N'Sync playing and I laughed quietly and leaned back in my seat. I didn't know whether or not things would be okay when I got there, but I was confindent that I could get through anything right now.

Heartbreak...

I've already dealt with it.

Rejection...

That was why I was in London in the first place. I felt rejected by my one true love.

But I was going to see him soon, and as I had said, it was really time to face the music and see what course my life would take me through at this point. I only hoped it would make my life better at this point.

Right when I was off the termial, I called a taxi service to come pick me up. When I was finished picking up my suitcase from baggage claim. The electric blue bag really stuck out in the crowd of bags, that was the point when I picked it out.

I grabbed it and went outside, seeing a man holding a sign with my name on it. I walked up to him and he smiled, taking my bag.

" Let me get that."

I slid into the car and gave him my address, my nervs getting worse and I got closer and closer to home. It felt good to be back in Chicago, It had almost been two months away and that was enough. This is where I belonged right now, I also belonged with my family and with my friends.

He drove on the highway, and we passed the grocery store, Chicago Dough, the highschool. Places with many many memories that I held. When he turned on my street, I took a deep breath. In the Cullen house, some lights were on, but in my house, all the lights were on, lighting up the house.

I stepped out of the car, almost tripping on the black peep toe pumps that I was wearing. My outfit was of white leggings and a dress. the bust was white, and the rest was black, I'd gotten it cheap from Nordstums and it was really nice for warm days and nights.

I grabbed my bag and handed the taxi driver a fifty, probably a little too much, but I didn't care. Grabbing the familar key from the eave, I opened the front door, shoving it with my shoulder.

They were all there, except for Edward and they embraced me so tight that I thought I was going to choke. My mother held onto me tightly and I breathed in her scent, missing it. Next was Esme, who was in tears and crying into my shoulder. I felt so shitty at that moment.

" We missed you so much, darling." Carlisle said, wrapping me in his arms. " My son never talks literature with me as you do."

I chuckled and hugged my dad, tearing up at the moment. I'd missed them so much, but not as much as a certain bronze haired boy that I'd run away from.

" He's upstairs... Charlie and Renee will stay with us. We can give you both the time tonight to talk."

I nodded, hugging them all once more before heading upstairs. Upon turning the corner to the hallway that lead to my bedroom I could see him leaning against the wall, his back facing me. My suitcase fell to the floor and he turned around.

I crumbled just as easy as seeing his face, which looked sad, but happy, and tired.

" I'm sorry." he whispered. " I'm so sorry."

Without another thought I ran into his arms, wrapping mine tightly around his waist, tears streaming down my face. He hugged me even tighter back, and it hurt, but in a good way. I'd never felt as safe as I did now in his arms. He was warm...He was Edward, exactly what I needed.

" I missed you. I missed you so much, Bella. Don't ever leave me again, please."

I pulled away, looking up at him " I needed time to get everything sorted. I couldn't do it here, with you around. It was hard for me, harder then I ever imagined for it to be like without you. You needed time, too, Edward."

He sighed against my skin " I did. I didn't like it but I think I did. I know my decision now, no more confusion."

" Do we have to do it now?" I asked.

Slowly, he turned me around, leaning me against the wall. Panic seeped through my body because I knew it was the moment. My eyes flashed back to all of the different times that I'd spent with Edward, like a life-flashing-before-my-eyes kind of thing. I closed my eyes, my body feeling lighter.

His hand brushed against my face, and I opened my eyes, seeing his green eyes blurring into my brown ones. My hand rested on his, which entwined with mine. Sparks shot up my arm, taking over my entire being.

" Yeah." he breathed " I think so."

I felt his breath against my cheek before everything suddenly shifted between us. His hand came up to cradle my jaw before his lips were on mine. I breathed using my nose as he thrust his tongue into my mouth, tilting our heads at a better angle.

He wanted me.

Edward Cullen wanted to be with me.

He pressed me up against the wall, hoisting me up so that I could wrap legs around his waist. My shoes hit the floor as they slipped off and he jumped in surprise at the noise. I smiled against his lips, my hand drifting up towards to tangle in his wild hair.

Kissing him didn't feel enough to me, my other hand went to the buttons of his shirt, using one hand to work the buttons through the holes. I felt his hand drifting to the back of my dress, touching the zipper gently, as if he were asking if it was okay.

I leaned into him further, my nose brushing the side of his.

" Bella, are you sure?" he gasped for breath.

" I love you, Edward."

He sealed my words with a righteous kiss, his hands working down the zipper on my dress, I slid his shirt off his shoulders, sighing into his mouth. Slowly I jumped down off him, grabbing his hand and dragging him into my room.

I pushed him back to sit on the bed and he did as I motioned, I kneeled between his legs, bending my head down towards him to kiss him deeply. Edward's hands traveled over my back and my hands drifted down, touching his belt lightly.

" I'll never hurt you again. I promise."

**Authors Note- This part was planned out from the moment I thought of the story. This was where I started with, and the rest was just built around it. They are teenagers, and shit happens. But do they regret anything? Wait? Did they even do anything beyond this? I have no fucking clue!**

**Review, please! It only takes a minute of your time.**

**Bella's dress in profile.**


	32. Emotional Truths

**Authors Note- Read the end notes.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

**Song for Chapter- Time For Miracles by: Adam Lambert**

BPOV

When I awoke, the only thing that was firstly on my mind was that I was positively starving. My stomach made the weird growling noise, one that would normally make me laugh. I also felt a little sweaty, and I needed a shower. I had no shampoo or conditionair, and I hadn't bought any before I left, and obviously none can be taken on planes. I would have to go out a buy some then.

Next, the sun was shining brightly in my face, annoying the shit out of me because the curtains had not been closed last night. When I shifted, I was ontop of something kind of hard, but soft and warm at the same time. I'd also taken notice that I wasn't wearing any clothes.

I stretched, my muscles aching everywhere, and it was hurting...down there. When I looked down, I was met with a perfectly sculpted, naked chest. I was laying ontop of Edward, my none-clothed body against his.

All of last nights events came flooding back to me and I blushed, realizing what Edward and I had done last night. It was amazing, last night was incredible and obviously nothing like I had ever experienced in my life.

He was sleeping soundly underneath me, his chest rising and falling evenly. I slowly lifted my body off of his, blushing in the process because we were sweating, and then it was sticky from the sweat, now I was feeling even more gross. I was literally sticking to Edward.

" Bella," he murmured sleepily, his eyes opening.

I looked up at him " Good morning."

Somehow, I didn't sound like me. My voice was rough and a little gritty which was I guess not a surprise after the events of last night. Blush spread over my cheeks and I looked down at the blanket. It was a great thing that my parents weren't here last night, someone in the sky must of been looking out for me.

" I think you need some tea or something." he informed me, his hand running over my cheek.

"Mm, yeah. I think so."

Edward chuckled and leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on my neck. My body leaned into the feeling of his lips on my body on instinct. He bent further over me, then adjusted his legs and pushed my body down gently. I tangled my hands in his hair as his lips traveled over my collarbone and neck.

" I should dress and head to the store for some things I need."

"Mmm, please don't." he muttered against my neck, moving his lips down to kiss just above my heart.

" I feel gross and look the same."

" You are beautiful."

I found myself smiling because being this way with him was just incredibly amazing. It was better then I had ever imagined it. Even after thinking about it for years, actually being in his arms, having him kiss me, the thoughts were so much different from actually having him here. In the skin.

" Please, I need a hot shower. Going out like this is bad enough."

He let me slip out from under him and I grabbed a blanket before getting up. I was not going to be flashing any of my girly parts or ass for him.

My familar robe was laying over my chair, and I slipped it on, knowing a shower was a lost cause with no soap or hair things. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, as I had been washing my face, I saw hickeys all over my neck. I muttered a swear word and went to get my coverup in the drawer, wiping it over the marks.

I combed my hair, throwing it up in a ponytail and slipped on a tanktop and shorts.

From here, I didn't know what would happen. We had sex last night, and that would change alot from now on. I sighed, putting on some deodorant and walked out. Edward was leaning against the headboard, watching me closely.

" Where are you going exactly ?" he asked.

" I have no shower things. So CVS or Target maybe."

I grabbed a sweatshirt, wincing as I bent to grab it. My body was really in alot of pain from last nights activities. I'd bended my body into positions I never exactly thought possible, and tested my limits last night.

Oh, boy, did I.

I let out a small groan and stood straight, massaging my shoulder with my hand, trying the best I could to get the spot I needed. The pain would go away, but I knew it would be uncomfortable for a little while.

" What's wrong?"

" Nothing, I'm fine."

Just as he was about to stand up, I stopped him, sitting beside him on the bed. He touched the side of my face, looking at me with a concered expression on his face. I didn't want him to think that he hurt me, which he definately would in a true Edward fashion.

" Did I hurt you?"

How. Embarassing.

I shook my head " No, you didn't. It just hurts from... "

His arm wrapped around my waist as he kissed the side of my face. " Want me to get you some asprin...Tylenol? A massage?"

Clearly he was acting sweet because of last night.

" It's fine, no worries. I'll get us some coffee while I am out. Maybe you should dress." I said, walking towards the door.

He reached out, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him with a tug. I looked at him curiously.

" You didn't say goodbye."

" Goodbye." I answered, clearly confused.

" No, Bella." he said, leaning up to kiss me.

I liked this new goodbye ritual.

I kissed him back gently and sweetly, trying not to just shove my tongue down his throat. Before pulling away I swept my tongue along his bottom lip. When I pulled away I mused his hair, to which he shoved me hand away playfully.

" Go ahead."

When I pulled up to CVS Pharmacy, I all but ran to the shampoo and conditionair aisle, quickly grabbing my usual hair soap that I did each time. I wanted to get back home and in a hot shower. I put it in the basket, grabbing a few disposable razors from the next aisle before going onto body soap.

I wasn't running around crazy, but I was going quickly so that I could get right on home. An old lady glared at me when I almost bumped into the nail polish stand she seemed interested in. After a quick apology, I continued on with my journey.

Suddenly a small body crashed into mine, the air now out of my lungs when the arms wrapped around me.

" BELLA! YOUR BACK!" She screamed loudly, people in the aisle glaring at us.

" Hey, Alice. How've you been?"

" Great. I missed you. How was London?"

" Okay." I shrugged, grabbing my strawberry soap from the bottom shelf.

Without warning, she grabbed my neck and gasped loudly, tiny hands gripping me. If she was trying to choke me, it sure was working. It was really no surpise that Alice could see through my bad cover-up job.

" What's this? Their like...not even twenty four hours fresh. You suck at covering them."

" Alice." I scolded "Cut it out."

A smile spread across her face and she grinned widely, nudging my side " She's even glowing."

I blushed, my face turning seventeen shades of red. She let my neck go and still smiled. I looked over the aisle, seeing the scowling lady had already left. Alice knew better then to do this to me in public, but that most definately didn't stop her.

" Aw...Did you find some hot man candy?"

" Alice, I've really got to go. Look, I will call you later sometime and we can talk."

She frowned and nodded, kissing me on the cheek before running off to the nail polish aisle, I hoped she wouldn't startle the old lady. I headed towards the drug store area, browsing nervously towards the aisle that ate at me.

When I was fifteen, my mom had given me five condoms because she said she just wanted me to be careful. Fifteen...yeah right, I wasn't stupid. Last night...Well, we used three last night. I should be prepared for the future, anything can happen.

I sucked it up and walked down the aisle, riffling through sizes. I blushed deeply throwing the needed one into the basket and scurried towards checkout. The lady looked at me interestingly when she scanned the condoms.

" Magnum XL?"

Oh, fuck. I was embarassed, but I knew that was the right one. Definately one hundred percent sure. Last night we seemed to almost have a problem about the ones I had. They had not exactly..fit the best for Edward's particular size.

" Is that a problem?" I asked.

She shook her head, smiling and throwing it into a bag. I grabbed my things after paying and got out of there as soon as I could. I got the size that was needed, and that was it, no big deal. I stopped by Dunkin Donuts, grabbing two coffee's with cream and paying. I put the sugar in and stirred it before going back to the car and heading back home.

When I got in everything was quiet. I headed upstairs to my bedroom, slipping off my sweatshirt as I went. It was empty. There wasn't a note or anything. I heard a knock on the door frame. I turned around, seeing my father standing at the door.

" Isabella, we would like to speak with you." he said sternly

I knew that I couldn't keep them in the dark about last night.

I set my bag down on my bed " Where's Edward."

" Dressed and home." he replied, now completely red faced.

I took both coffee's downstairs, taking a seat across from my parents at the table. My dad looked incredibly angry and my mother looked a tad concerned, pulling on her brown hair. I leaned back in the chair and smiled warily at both of them.

" Is everything straightened out with, Edward?" my mother asked first.

They were trying to make me squirm. " I don't know. I think so."

" Well you talked did you not?"

" Renee, get to the point already." he said.

She sighed and bore her eyes into mine " We left last night so you both could talk. Just twenty minutes ago we went to check on both of you after we saw your car was missing. Edward was just putting his pants on, Isabella. The bed was a mess. I told him to leave and then I checked your drawer."

My father had something balled in his hands tightly, and just then he threw it on the table. It was my dress from last night. It had fallen on the floor in the hallway when Edward slipped it off. I was sure that by now I was cherry red.

" I do-"

" Two...Two were left, Isabella. And don't think I didn't know how many were in there."

" Mom, I d-"

" You and Edward had both disrespected us in this house...Taking advantage of the fact that we weren't here. We gave you that time to talk about things, Isabella. Not for you to do that." my father stated.

" You disrespected us, Isabella." my mother scolded.

I sighed " We don't live in the nineteen hundreds anymore, mother. What Edward and I did, or what you think we did last night, is our business and nobody elses." I explained

" It's obvious what you did. This dress is proof. I also found...these on your floor."

My father glared at me, taking two of the three ripped open condoms and slamming them on the table. My mother just looked very annoyed. I stood up, grabbing the cup of coffee that was meant for Edward.

" I understand your upset. But what I did is undone, and I wouldn't undo it even if I had the chance. I love him, I have for such a long time. I'm sorry you both can't seem to understand that. What you need to realize; is that this _Edward_. I grew up with him. He's not just some random guy."

They didn't say anything after me as I headed upstairs slowly. I grabbed my phone from my desk, dialing Edward's number, he answered on the first ring and asked me if everything was alright. I wasn't completely okay, but just hearing his voice made me feel better.

" We should talk, can you come over."

He agreed and I hung up the phone, taking a long drink from my cup. I heard the front door, talking and then footsteps up the stairs and down the hallway to my bedroom. The door opened smoothly and closed silently.

Edward was already dressed and showered, looking a little bit upset. I knew that they must have said something to him when he came it, it was definately something they would do. I brushed my bangs out of my face, looking up at him.

" I'm sorry about them." I whispered.

" It was kind of embarassing having your mother find me dressing. Atleast I'd already had my boxers on."

I sat next to him on my bed " Edward..."

He laughed " Kidding. Actually not really."

" We need to talk. About what happened before I left, and what happened last night."

Edward nodded in understanding " Want to go somewhere. Just by ourselves. No interruptions."

" Uh, yeah. That's, uh, kind of perfect."

I handed him his coffee and he nodded in thanks as he opened my bedroom door. Both of my parents watched us closely in the kitchen as I grabbed my car keys. Behind me I slammed the door once we were out. I was pissed, and I sure as hell was going to let them know that.

We slipped into my truck and I started up the car. He looked at me, smiling.

"Oh, shit...Wait this was your idea. Where am I going?"

" Your choice."

I ended up driving on the meadow and parking at the end of the dirt road. We spread the blanket that was in the car over the open trunk area, climbing in and leaning against the walls. We were on opposite sides, legs stretched out besides eachothers.

His hand played with my shoelace as he stared at me.

" Well, the stage is all for you since this starts up with you." Edward stated.

" Where do I start?"

" The beginning." he suggested, twisting the lace

It would be difficult talking about all of this " It's going to be long."

" I have time."

With a sigh, I began;

" It started after when we had our first kiss at thirteen. I mean, it wasn't anything huge in the beginning just a small crush that I basically ignored. When we moved out here, even when you were fourteen all the freshmen were just loving you, and that made me really mad, but I kept telling myself that it's not like you belong to me. I would look at you and think about you all the time, but it was still just a crush. I hadn't ever told anybody because I knew they would think it was wrong. When we were young I remember asking my mother if we were related beause we acted like brother and sister. Everyone thought of us as like brother and sister, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I liked you... Then you started talking about Tanya, how gorgeous she was, brilliant. It made me so upset, but I thought that it was only a crush for you, and it was just nothing. Then you both started dating after you got into football which you tried out for because of her."

He frowned sadly at me.

" I remember crying that night you told me that she was your girlfriend. I was so hurt and in so much pain. Then she was just everywhere I was, and she fawned over you and shoved it in my face, and you did too, Edward. The day you told me that you wanted me to get a boyfriend so you could have more time with Tanya, that fucking hurt. But I got over it and just learned to deal with it. She would call me a bitch at times behind your back, or give me dirty glares. Everyone knew that she was jealous of our relationship, and I held onto it because I knew that nobody knew you like I did. The night you told me you had sex with her was bad...It was silly, but in my head, I pictured us being eachothers first. Hell, I would of liked it better if you had sex with Jessica Stanley. She was such a stupid, moronic, bitch and I couldn't believe what you saw in her, but Edward, it did break me in half when she broke up with you because you were so upset. I hated her even more for doing that...The day you said you loved her was the worst that I'd gone through. To this day you probably think I was sleeping, but I wasn't. When I got home, I cried for hours because that was the day I realized that I was in love with you. Then I did possibly the most stupid thing. I told myself that I could be just as beautiful as her and I asked Alice to go shopping with me."

Edward chuckled " Bella...I've always thought you were beautiful."

I blushed.

" After that, things just got bad. The break-up, Rosalie, hospital and when you ditched me at the charity event for Tanya last minute.. Everything was just terrible, but I kept it together so I could be there for you and that letter she sent, fuck it pissed me off. I knew you were drunk off your ass and that made it worse, but atleast this time you weren't pissed at me for having a perfect life. Like the time you ditched me at the mall for her, it was bad then. Last Christmas...or New Year. That day I wanted to be the first one to kiss you at midnight, and everyone encouraged it and you did. When you pulled away, I was scared. I hid because I was confused as to if you felt anything. Then I was just pissed. It didn't last of course because I couldn't be mad at you if I tried."

" I'm sorry for treating you the way I did when I was dating her, Bella. I never meant to hurt you. Maybe I was just caught up in the crowd."

I patted his leg " It's fine...Then the night I told you. That kiss made me feel confident, and when I did it felt like something being lifted off of me. All the years of hiding my feelings and closing them off just released. Then you said it was wrong. Edward, I left that night because I felt rejected and I couldn't handle it because I was so confident to tell you, and what you said was basically that you didn't feel the same, atleast that's how I took it. When I got to London, the first few days were absolutely horrible, I didn't get out of bed or eat. Then I recieved one of your letters, and Edward, it really made me feel important, like you still wanted me to know what was going on and that you cared. I knew you always cared, but not as much as then."

" I read all the voicemails you sent, and then I realized that maybe you were as hurt as I was. Each one held meaning, and I didn't want to delete them, but I knew that moving on was best. I wasn't sure I wanted to come home until you said you were done writing to me. I caught the first flight here that I could and came home. I didn't think I missed everyone as much as I did."

" And last night?" he asked, turning a light shade of pink.

I blushed " Edward, I don't regret last night, although I got grilled about it today, I don't. Last night was amazing, but if you think...Look, how about you start okay."

He nodded " Mine won't be as long as yours."

I smiled at him encouragingly.

" Bella, I was over the moon when I went out with Tanya, I thought she was perfect and smart, basically everything I wanted. But hell, she got possessive so quick and she was all over me. But I didn't want the physical stuff, I liked talking and getting to know her. The night we had sex, I won't go into detail, but Bella it was terrible. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to get out of there, and I came to you because I knew you would calm me down. I took advantage of how much you cared for me and never got mad for long. You listened to everything I said and I dumped things on you. When Tanya broke up with me, I was hurt because I thought I loved her. But the truth is, I thought that I loved her, I really don't think I ever did. I loved the idea, but she was an ugly person on the inside. When you told me you liked me, Bella, you have to know that I was caught off guard, I didn't expect it at all because I never considered us being together. I had alot of time to think, and I figured that I want to try it out. Last night was not something I intended to happen, but it was amazing. Bella, maybe it won't work out, but maybe it will. All I know is that my feelings have changed and I am happy with you all the time, I can tell you everything and we know eachother. I'm risking our friendship, but something tells me it's worth it. There are holes in this speech, but really, the main point is that I am over Tanya, over the whole thing and I want to move on...with you."

I think I was crying at some point in his speech. I brushed my tears away and gave him a watery smile.

" Right now... Look, I-...How do I say this." he murmured, furrowing his brows.

" Last night we really went up a few levels, but just for right now, I want to experience just being with you. Maybe take a step back and just explore this." he asked, reaching for my hand.

" Okay. That's great."

" Bella, I know that I have been very selfish when it came to our relationship, and other things, but for that, I'm sorry. I'll work on it, because I don't want to be like that.."

I kneeled and went towards him, sitting close and nestling my head against his shoulder. Edward's arm wrapped tightly around my waist. Then it suddenly dawned on me whether or not we were going to tell our friends. Rosalie would completely flip her shit and she was the only one I've really been thinking about.

" What about the others? Are we going to tell them?"

" Alice and Emmett...I think they'll be okay. Jasper maybe, but Rosalie is so unpredictable at this point. I think that maybe we should either hold off, or maybe have Emmett sit down and tell her. I don't want her hurting you."

I nodded and let my hand rest on his chest, closing my eyes.

" We should just tell them all together, telling three people seperately is just a job."

" Sound great to me." I replied.

" So...what do we do now?"

" Whats your favorite color?" I asked sarcastically.

" Blue." we said together, laughing.

I grabbed his shoulders, and pushed on his body, he chuckled and laid on his back on the blanket. With a huff I sat on his stomach, pushing my messy hair back. He gripped my hips, keeping me still.

" What are you doing?" he asked, gritting his teeth.

" Nothing, just getting comfortable."

He rolled his eyes, knowing that I was just teasing him. I rolled off of him and leaned on my side, my hand propping my head up as I stared down at him. Edward hummed quietly and reached his arm out, wrapping it around my waist and curling me into his side.

" Can I tell you something, Bella...Seriously?"

" Of course."

" You said you loved me, right?"

" Yes."

" I'm not trying to hurt you, Bella. I want to be open and honest with you. Look, I don't love you yet. I need some time to really contemplate that kind of thing. I want to work up to loving you, because I don't want to say it because you do."

I sighed " Edward, I said it because I feel it, but I don't want you saying it because I do. When you do, then that's great. Whether it a month or a year, my feelings won't change. Just tell me when you love me, or...if you can't love me."

EPOV

She looked sad in that moment, saying the last sentence. I brushed her hair away from her face.

" I will."

Today had been such an emotional rollercoaster, dealing with everything that had been going on between both of us, Bella especially. I'd been happy that she opened up to me about her feelings over the past few years, and while her feelings about my previous relationship were bad, I just hoped that now we could explore all that was going on.

I didn't love Bella as she loved me, but I knew that one day that I would work up to it. Everything had already gotten off not as good before, and I wanted to make up for that and start things out smoothly.

My thoughts were gathered, and I knew that I wanted to be with her.

Last night, was not something that I had expected to happen. When we had kissed, a feeling of need washed over me, and it was new to me. I'd felt so detached when I'd been with Tanya, I had expected to feel the emotional connected, I'd wanted to feel it. With Bella, it had been how I wanted it to be my first time. The intense feeling was so much to handle, but being with her in such an intimate way was freeing.

Things felt right.

Suddenly I heard her phone ring;

_" Hello, daddy. Hello, mom._

_I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- cherry bomb._

_Hello world, I'm your wild girl. _

_I'm you ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- cherry bomb._

_Stone age love and strange sounds too._

_Come on baby let me get to you."_

" Hello...Hi, dad...With Edward...Talking...Yes, that's all we are doing...Now, dad I'm not-...No, I just got back I want to-...I'll be home for dinner...I swear...Fine...Okay...Bye."

She shoved her phone back into her pocket " What the hell is his deal. I mean, he always thought we were secretly dating, and now he is completely pissed. It's you! Not a fourty year old weirdo." Bella complained.

" I don't know, Izzy Bizzy."

A loud tinkling laugh escaped her " Edward, you need to stop with the names. I think I have atleast twenty. Shall I name them?"

" Go for it."

She rolled her eyes. " Isabella, Bella, Bells, Bell, Iz, Iz B, Izzy, Izzy B, Izzy Pop and Emmett has called me 'Isabel' a few times, now we've got Izzy Bizzy."

" I can find a few."

" Oh really?"

" Mmhmm."

" Whatever you say, Ed."

I growled against her neck " Don't call me that."

She smiled at me.

_"Siete la creatura che pia bella ho posto mai gli occhi sopra."_

" English please." she whispered.

" Your the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on."

She shook her head " Obviously you haven't looked at Rosalie or Alice. Don't lie to me."

I gaped at her "_ No ho motivo fingere e starei mai a voi. Come potreste pensaree quello?"_

Bella sat up glaring down at me " What did I just tell you before?"

" I have no reason to pretend and I would never lie to you. How could you think that?"

" I'm not beautiful, I've always knew it. And I am not throwing a pity party. Average is easy to explain me."

Obviously she couldn't see herself clearly. I'd never really seen how beautiful she really was until I really thought about her in a different way. She isn't fake, far from it. No under the knife procedures to make herself look plastic. And most definately no implants anywhere. Not like all the girls at school.

" Well, I think your gorgeous. So think as you wish."

" Do me a favor?" she breathed.

I moved closer to her " Anything."

" Stop talking...and prove to me you think I am beautiful."

My arm wound around her slim waist, I made a note to feed her because she looked like she'd lost a little bit of weight. I pressed my lips firmly, but softly to hers. Both of her lips were like two clouds and her body was just as comfortable. Her small hand rested on my hip, pushing against it to bring us closer. I moved my lips against hers and I felt her tongue drag along my lip teasingly.

" Stop teasing me."

" Well, now that I know you don't like it, maybe I should from now on." she whispered in a seductive voice.

My lips swept against hers gently and I cradled her head in my hands.

" You love kissing don't you?"

"Shh."

Suddenly her stomach made the oddest, most inhuman kind of noise.

" The fuuuuck?"

" I haven't eaten since noon yesterday."

What? And after last night. She must be fucking starving, I knew that I'd basically raided all the cabinets this morning in my house, how'd she not be begging for food at this point was beyond me.

" Come on." I said, pulling away and lifting her up.

" No. Please I was having so much fun. You were, too!"

She leaned up, placing a kiss on my neck. I wanted to lay back down with her and just keep going, but I knew that her needs came first, and eating was first no matter how much she wanted to continue.

" Later, okay. After we stuff you with like twenty burgers and you gain all that weight back."

Now, she was pissed. I guess I forgot girls were sensitive when it came to weight...

" Thanks for that, Edward. What, do I look discustingly skinny for you to like now?"

" Bella, no. But I know you weren't eating well, and it's kind of obvious. You don't look sick, but you don't look like your completely healthy...Fuck, I've always looked after you even before this."

She climbed out of the back and I followed her, she got into the cab and started up the car. I got in as quickly as possible just in case she was pissed enough to drive away. When we got back into town, she drove straight to her house, slamming the door roughly when she got out. I grabbed for her wrist, stopping her.

" Let me go, Edward. Be a jerk to someone else."

" How is it being a jerk when I am only looking out for you? What, now that were together does that mean it stops, actually it gives me more reason to."

Then, she was quiet.

" Have you always been this annoying?" she asked me bluntly.

I glared at her " Have you always been such an over-reacting drama queen."

" Thank you for ruining my first day back home."

" Stop being a drama queen."

I think we just had our first fight.

**Authors Note- READ ALL NOTES BELOW.**

**Hello,**

**I have already written a small letter on my twitter about this, but I don't have everyone following me and I would appreciate if you would read this all through to understand.**

**I have been recieving Private Message's on Tuesdays, telling me what day it is and that I have to update 'now'. Also some people started reviewing on Tuesday's just to remind me. I completely understand your eagerness for more of the story, but you all have to remember, Authors have a life outside of fanfiction, and I was particularly dealing with a few personal issues last Tuesday, ontop of having family over, which effectively limited my time.**

**Friday's are definate updates, and Tuesday's are for when I have time. I will also post teasers on my twitter, so remember to follow me if you are interested. I have a link on the top of my profile page.**

**Truly, I appreciate you all, more then you understand, but I do infact know what days it is -laughs-. Your reviews make me so very happy, and I cherish each one. I don't need any apologies for this, I am just letting you all know what I need you to know.**

**I hope that you do not take this as a rude message, I say all of this in the nicest way possible, all I need is a bit of understanding. Thank you all for the reviews, and I hope you liked this chapter.**

**Sincerely,**

**Twilightx28**


	33. Reaction

**Authors Note- Happy Friday!**

**Alot of you are probably confused if you see this updated. But some of my reviewers brought to my attention that this chapter was a bit off, and I sincerely apologize. I didn't get to edit it completely, and I had been on my way out when I posted, so I just posted it without much care. So, I am really sorry about that, and here it is, all fixed.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

I slammed the front door, making my way towards the kitchen and slightly pissed at Edward. What made it all better, was seeing two fourty-something year olds, known as my parents, making out right by the counters, clearly unashamed. I clearned my throat loudly, getting their attention.

" Take that to the bedroom why don't you. Or better yet, a hotel."

" What's got you fired up?" my mom asked, wiping her lips as she pulled away.

I was about to answer her, but upon noticing my father fixing his pants, I gagged just a little bit. What daughter wants to see their father doing that out of all people.

" I think I lost my appetite." I muttered, riffling through the cabinets.

" Where's Edward?"

" Why does it matter?"

" Did something happen?" she asked curiously.

I groaned " He pissed me off and I left. Nothing big."

" It rather looks like you care...What did you both do?" My father asked suspiciously.

" Talked about everything."

" And."

He was glaring at me, as if he expected me to tell him in detail everything we talked about, and everything we did. My mother had the same expectant look on her face as my father did. Were they curious about how it felt kissing him? Seriously.

" Nothing."

My mother glared at me.

" Do you want me to explain what kissing him feels like?" I asked in amusement.

They immediatly backed off and headed towards the living room. I rolled my eyes, happy that they let it go and went to the fridge to prepare myself a sandwich, and taking it up to my bedroom to unpack my things as I ate. I put my clothes neatly in my drawers after taking them out of my suitcase, and went to my closet.

Inside I saw the two shirts Edward mentioned in his letters. I smiled upon seeing them and put my other clothes on hangers inside. I tossed my wedges in there and sighed at my dress on the bed. A few minutes later my door opened and I saw Esme.

" Hi, Esme." I greeted

" Hello, darling...I'm very glad you came back, I've missed you."

" Thanks. Glad to be back, I missed you guys so much."

She sat on the bed and I put my iPod on the iDoc, making sure it was unplugged so that music wouldn't play.

" Renee called me up this morning and told me about the events of this morning."

I blushed " Esme, I didn't mean for that to ha-"

" I understand, sweetheart. I've always known you loved him, but I just couldn't believe that one could be so blind."

" How did you know?" I all but begged as I asked.

" The way you looked at him, or just hugged him. It was easy to see, obvious. And I'm very happy for you both, although Edward just ran through the door mumbling something about over-reacting women."

I laughed " Yeah...Just a small fight. But it's his fault."

Esme chuckled " Of course."

" Is Carlisle as pissed as my dad is?"

" Why would he be upset?"

" Because dad is acting like Edward is just a random guy."

" He never liked it when we joked that someday you and Edward would marry." she stated.

I rolled my eyes " He'll get over it. One day he will have to get used to the fact that I will find somebody to love. I think he's in denial because I am only eighteen."

" I knew that I loved Carlisle the moment I met him. There is just something about those Cullen boys..."

I laughed and nodded " If you ask me they are too charming for their own good."

I talked with Esme for a little bit, discussing both Carlisle and Edward, it was pretty funny about the stories Esme told me about when they found. They were stupid fights, just like how Edward and I fought, except some of it involved food. Edward decided to reappear about an hour later and Esme went downstairs, saying that she was going to talk with Renee a while.

" Sorry for pissing you off. I just worry."

" I overreacted, I am just on a rollercoaster of emotions today. I'm sorry."

He fumbled with his fingers and I stood from where I'd knelt on the ground.

" I need a shower. I've still not gotten to it." I stated, throwing my sweatshirt off and grabbing my bag that was filled with shower stuff. I stacked it on the shelves in the shower and put my facewash on the counter. I grabbed a change of clothes, not wanting to use the others.

" I'll wait."

With a quick toss of my shoes I closed the bathroom door, jumping into the hot shower. After scrubbing my hair twice and my body the same, I was feeling alot cleaner then I did. I was still in a little pain below, but I knew it would go away eventually. I shaved my legs and rinsed the shaving cream off the razor before setting it down on the shelf. I turned off the water and wrung my hair out before stepping out of the shower, drying off with a towel before using it to wrap around my hair.

I put on my underwear and clasped my bra. I put on a black racerback and a pair of shorts. After taking my hair out of the towel, I combed it through with a fine comb and tossed it up in a ponytail, not bothering to do anything special with it. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, applying a little bit of makeup to my face.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Edward was balling up my sheets and putting them on the floor, only leaving the pillow cases on the pillows.

" Is everything okay?" I asked curious as to why he was taking my bedsheets off.

His head snapped up upon hearing my voice. I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper and looked at him.

" There was uh...Some blood from.."

I blushed " Oh, alright. Here I'll just take that."

I ran the sheets and comforter downstairs, shoving them in the washer with a sprinkle of tide and a splash of downy. I turned it onto normal and darted back upstairs to my bedroom where Edward was sitting on the bare mattress.

"I feel kind of awkward." Edward said quietly.

" Is this going to weird us out?" I asked.

He walked towards me, draping his arms around my waist. I leaned into him, reaching my arms up around his neck. I swayed against him for a second, getting a small flash of dizziness. Edward held me up steady.

" Whoa, you okay?"

I pulled away " Yeah, I just got a little dizzy. I need to eat that sandwich."

Edward passed me a worried glance, reaching for the sandwich and quickly put it in my lap. I took a huge bite of it and chewed, quickly swallowing. After finishing up the sandwich, I set the plate on my end table.

" Carlisle made some of his Lasagna...Well, lasagna that was passed down by generations of Cullens. I think it's begging to be in that stomach of yours." he taunted.

" We are going to your house, now."

I ate two, three by three slices of that damn lasagna, and I enjoyed every single bite of the ricotta, noodles and homemade spaghetti sauce. The parmesan cheese ontop just made the whole thing even better.

Edward sat at the table, watching me eat and waiting until I finished. Once I cleaned up my plate he stared at me. I felt really embarassed that I had just spent only ten minutes eating all of that food, with him right there watching me as I did it.

" I'm sorry...I basically just scarfed down the whole glass baking pan. That's incredibly unattractive."

" Your silly, come on, follow me."

We headed upstairs and he stopped me at the room where the piano was. I groaned, not really in the mood for playing infront of him. I played alot when I was in London, and everyone knew that I was incredibly shy about my talent.

" I don't want to."

He shushed me and opened the door, leading me in to the room. The piano was dust free surprisingly. Gently he lifted the lid on the keys and took a seat. There were notes infront of him, written in his scrawl.

" I'm confused." I said, resting my hand on his shoulder.

" While you were gone, I'd taken up a new talent." he said quietly.

" Wow...Really, I mean you always hated the piano because it frusterated you. It's been over a month now, I feel like I missed out on things."

I sat beside him on the bench as he hit the first key, his foot on the pedal below. His long fingers drifted over all of the different keys, creating an unknown, but beautiful tune. I'd never heard anything that sounded so meaningful and deep. Some of the keys mixed a little oddly, but I figured that since he was just starting, it would be a little difficult to put everything together perfectly.

Once he was finished I smiled " Who was that by? I've never heard it."

He bit his lip " I wrote it. I mean I am still working a little bit on it, but do you like it?"

" Edward, that was beautiful. I loved it."

Once we'd left the piano room, Edward led me towards his bedroom, ushering me in and shutting the door. I looked towards his bed, seeing all of the white covers gone, now replaced by amber and topaz colors against his black squared headboard

He'd finally cleaned the double doors that were in the room. They lead to nothing, because if you took more then one step out, you would be on the ground down a level. I walked over to his big bed, curling up next to one of his throw blankets. Instead of laying behind me, he laid infront of me, scooting my body backwards as he molded his body to mine. I poked my head up towards him, my lips applying pressure to his.

We laid there, in his bed, kissingly languidly. I wanted to deepen our kiss, but I wasn't fully sure if Edward was comfortable with that. His hands stayed on my hips, not moving at all. Slowly, I moved my hands that were on his chest and grabbed the hands that were situated on my hips. I grasped them in mine. As he was about to pull away; I pushed my lips forward against his to stop him. My hands moved his to atleast touch my waist, feeling encouraged, he wound his arms around me and smiled against my lips.

His smile made me smile.

As the room grew darker, we stopped our kisses and held eachother, the lamp on the side of the bed on, along with the television. We both weren't stupid enough to keep all the lights off, if we were just friends, it would of been no big deal.

Our parents knew now to check on us no matter how much it sucked. I laid on my side, my eyelids dropping as Edward laid behind me, arms around my waist and his forehead resting against the back of my neck.

" I really missed you, Bella." he murmured.

" I missed you, too." I whispered, rubbing the top of his hand.

He brushed my bangs back " Go to sleep, okay?"

"Mmm."

EPOV

Only a moment after I told her to sleep, she was snoring lighty in my arms. My door creaked open and I saw my mom, smiling at me as she walked in.

" Don't you think she should go home. I'm not sure if Renee and Charlie want her sleeping over."

" Just because were more then friends, doesn't mean we should be trusted less. Bella and I agreed today that we took one too many levels up last night, and that we would back off a bit on the physical stuff."

She looked at me warily, but nodded slightly " Okay, dear. Just don't ruin it for yourself. It doesn't bother me, but I don't want you both doing anything while I am in the next room. Sleep well."

My mom kissed my forehead, as well as Bella's and left the room, shutting the door. I turned the lamp off and left the television on, but with the volume low. I breathed in her scent and smiled against the back of her neck.

I didn't exactly know how things were going to progress but I only hoped that we would be together for a very long time.

July 31st

BPOV

" Do we have to tell them now. Can't we just keep it to ourselfs for awhile?" I asked, leaning into him.

He pressed his lips to my forehead and my eyes closed. " I wish."

We were in the meadow, there were light purple flowers that sprang up about a foot high and a few blue flowers scattered. The sun was shining through the cluster of tree's onto the clearing, making it look beautiful and bright.

It was a little cooler today, I wore a light gold long sleeved shirt and a white shirt underneath with a pair of skinny jeans and converse. Beside me, Edward had on a grey button up and a pair of dark wash jeans, his shoes matching mine. His hair was sticking up in many different directions from the slight wind in the air.

On the eighth we would be taking a flight out to New York, where we would attend registration. Edward and I are also going to be apartment hunting because he and I needed to find apartments due to the fact we aren't going to be living in dorms. I was a little nervous about the fact that I would be living alone, as were my parents, but Edward and I's college is only about twenty minutes by car, which is forever in my opinion, but it was close enough.

His hands slid to my lower back, resting them just above the waistband of my jeans. I rested my hands on his chest and smiled.

" I think Emmett's going to think it's gross."

He chuckled against the top of my head and I laughed with him.

" Alice will be freaking out."

" That's Alice."

We stood in the same position for awhile until we knew that we had to head over to Jasper's. We'd all said to meet up there, and while I hated the fact that Rosalie might here, she would find out sooner or later and sooner is better.

Edward climbed onto the motorcycle as I slipped my helmet on, I straddled the seat behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist as he slowly released the clutch.

Off we were.

I slipped the helmet off and Edward took it from me, setting it on the seat. I grabbed his hand quickly and squeezed it before letting it go. Edward rang the doorbell and a happy Alice answered, ushering us in the family room where Emmett was scarfing down crisps and Jasper was waiting for Alice.

Jasper made a weird look when he saw me, but I tried my best to ignore it. We sat next to eachother on the white loveseat across from him. Alice took her spot next to him, wrapping her arm around his waist.

" So, what did you want to tell us?" Alice said with a suggestive smirk.

I cleared my throat and looked at Edward, begging with my eyes.

" Your the one who started it." he whispered in my ear.

I groaned internally and they all stared at us, waiting for one of us to speak. Reasurringly, he took hold of my hand and I sighed.

" Edward and I are...seeing eachother as more then friends."

First there was a loud squeal from Alice, a weird noise from Emmett and a loud slam as Jasper slapped his hands on the coffee table and stood. I jumped about a foot in the air and he walked away, running up the stairs towards his bedroom.

Everything was still and I saw Alice get up, turning towards the foyer

" I'll talk to him."

" Alice, I think I should..."

She nodded and sat back down next to Emmett.

As I was walking towards the staircase, I could hear Emmett say something to Edward.

" Dude, that's _weird _isn't it like kissing your sister."

Edward sighed " No, Emmett."

When I got up the stairs I walked down the hallway. Rosalie's bedroom door was open, and her and Tanya were leaning against it, mouths ajar and eyes looking like they were on fire with anger.

" Get out of my house." Rosalie spat at me.

" I'm not here for you, Rosalie." I stated, walking to the last door to knock on the white door that belonged to Jasper. I lifted my hand and knocked twice, leaning against the wall.

" What?" he asked, sounding upset.

" Jasper, I just want to talk, okay."

I stood there for a moment before he opened the door. I stepped through and he shut it, snickers were heard behind me.

" Keep to your room, Rose." he said before closing the door.

He had a leather arm chair by his bookcase so I sat in it. It had been a long time since I'd been to Jasper's house, but his bedroom was very like him. It was filled with pictures from the war and he had so many history literature books on the wars.

After taking a seat on his bed, he looked down at his lap.

" I know that Edward's previous breakup turned into something alot more, something that had to do with me always being in the way of them. No matter if people tell me otherwise, what Rosalie did do, was wrong and completely unfair to me. Maybe I did take part why Tanya broke up with him, but I didn't mean for it to happen that way. I know that you and Rosalie had grown up with Tanya, and are similar to family; I respect that and I've always had. It doesn't matter to me whether or not I like her or don't because I wouldn't let my feelings towards her change the friendship I had with Rosalie and you, but obviously things have changed. Everyone has to realize, that Edward loved her and maybe he still does, but she was the one who broke up with him on her own account...I've liked Edward since I was thirteen, since before we all met, before I was living in the United States."

Jasper nodded in understanding " I'm protective of people I care for."

" I know that, and Edward and I getting together had nothing to do with anybody but us. We wanted to be together. This isn't to piss anybody off or make them upset. I told Edward my feelings out of confidence because I thought maybe we could be happy together. But I do want you guys to be okay with it."

" I blamed you for them breaking up, because you were so close with Edward and he would never let Tanya in like he did you. But I know it wasn't your fault, it's just the way you both are together. I'm sorry about Rosalie though, Alice told me about the night in the hospital."

" Don't apologize...That part is between Rosalie and I, and whether or not she wants to fix things is completely up to her. I think it would be nice to have my other friend back though."

He stood up from his bed and I mimicked his actions. Without warning he gave me a tight hug, and I hugged him back before releasing him.

" Lets head back down." he stated " Emmett is probably driving them crazy." Jasper laughed.

" Probably." I agreed, stepping out of his bedroom.

When we got downstairs everyone was talking freely, Emmett's loud crunching not even bothering Alice and Edward one bit, which was a surprise. I plopped next to him and he looked down at me.

" Is everything okay?"

" Perfect." I answered with a smile.

He kissed my cheek and grasped my hand in his, fingers weaving between mine with ease.

" Aw!"

" That's just weird." Emmett mumbled.

Edward chuckled and cleared his throat " I'm thirsty, anybody else want something?"

" Water!" Alice chimed.

I stood " I'll go get it. What do you want?" I asked Edward.

" Coke." he murmured, letting my hand fall from his as I left.

I walked down the long marble hallway to the kitchen. Of course it was all of my luck that Tanya and Rose were in there eating out of a vanilla ice cream carton. I opened up the stainless steal fridge, reaching inside.

" You know, I have no idea what Edward could possibly see in you." Rosalie said while Tanya laughed loudly beside her.

I ignored her and grabbed Edward's coke, getting two glasses out of the cabinet.

" I'm talking to you, are you deaf?" Rosalie yelled, her voice bouncing off of the walls.

I cringed at the loud noise, but tried my best to ignore it as I got the ice from the freezer.

" Bitch! I-" Tanya started

" Stop it for gods sake!" Alice screeched, coming to a halt into the kitchen enterance.

Rosalie ignored her.

" You've been a complete royal bitch. And look around you, how many friends do you have? One, and the one that is You hurt your boyfriends best friend and caused you to hurt your other best friend, ontop of that, you lost a life long friendship with me. How many is that? Three if I counted right."

Her jaw snapped shut and I saw the others coming up behind Alice. Edward put his hands on her shoulders and moved her to the side to get to me. I set the cups down and sighed.

" Your all crazy. Rosalie is so much better then all of you." Tanya stated. " Edward, you realize your dating a girl that doesn't know Coach from Prada! Whatever, you can have that bitch, but remember that I had you first."

" I don't need any of you except for Tanya. She's the only _real _friend that I need."

I filled the cups with water and gave Edward his coke, handing Alice her glass of water. I took Edward's hand.

" She's a lost cause, just let her be if she is happy with the way things are."

I think Rosalie fully expected Jasper to stick up for her, but he was quiet.

" Look, sis. Tanya is like family to me, but she messed with our friends, and now your acting just like her. This isn't like you...I love you but I have to be with them on this."

She frowned and we headed back to the living room. I set my glass on a coaster before taking a seat on the couch. Edward plopped next to me and slung his arm over my shoulders, sipping his coke. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed as he kissed the tip of my nose.

" Don't do that."

" You have a cute nose."

Alice groaned " I don't want to start hearing all the lovey shit from you guys."

" He started it." I argued, slapping his chest lightly.

Jasper came back into the room, settling next to Alice. Emmett stood awkwardly by the television.

" I'm going to leave now. I'll drop by later to talk with Rosalie. Catch you guys later.

He walked out of the front door quietly, a sad frown on his face.

It was the first time that I saw Emmett without a smile on his face.

**Authors Note- This is the last post before Eclipse comes out! How excited are all of you? I know that I am going to a midnight showing, and I am absolutely excited to go. **

**I hope that you all like this chapter better then when I posted the first time, let me know if it was better by reviewing or PM'ing, me I would really appreciate it.**


	34. New York

**Authors Note- Happy Friday! It's actually Fluffy Friday, it's the awaited Edward and Bella fluff we've been waiting for.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

August 7th

Tuesday

BPOV

I lifted myself into his lap by using his shoulders as leverage. The noises of Jack Sparrows yells playing on the television in the backround as we kissed together passionately. Edward moved his hands to my hips, steading me as I settled into his lap.

Since our parents were monitoring us like six week old puppies, we decided to sneak into the basement and get a few extra minutes as they searched around the house. Tomorrow afternoon we were flying out to New York, and it was probably our last day of peace.

The original plan was to just watch a movie, that was until teenage hormones decided to take over Edward's body and he attacked, of course I reacted to him because well...he was Edward. Who was I to deny a perfectly sexy man that wanted to makeout with me.

I was wearing a summer dress it was a little hard trying to straddle him. It's a supersoft dress with a vintage polka dot pattern, sweetheart neckline with center bust gathering. He seemed to enjoy the amount of skin I was showing because his hands were touching my bare shoulders and arms.

I tangled my hand in his thick bronze hair and slanted my mouth against his. I bit down on his bottom lip and pulled back a little. He grasped the back of my head and crushed his lips back to mine.

" Mmm, Bella." he purred against my lips, running his other hand around my back and waist.

Then I heard the damn basement door opening and closing. I got out of Edward's lap and grabbed the blanket was was draped over our laps. I laid my head in his lap and he covered me with the blanket.

" We found you. Been looking everywhere." Esme said, my mother next to her.

" Yup." Edward said, smoothing my wild hair down, eyes on the television.

" What are you doing?"

" Movie."

When Will Turner came onto the screen, they both squealed like two little fan girls.

" Can we watch?"

_NO!_

" That's cool."

I sat up, scooting myself into his lap. " Aslong as you don't mind us k-"

" Shhh." Esme shushed, sitting on the other side of the couch next to Renee.

Edward and I looked towards them, and they both seemed to be immersed in the television. Slowly we leaned towards eachother, pressing our lips quietly together. Edward slowly removed the blanket and pulled away.

" Let's go."

As quietly as we could, we moved off the couch and towards the stairs. I grabbed my flip flops that were laying on the ground by the stairs. If they were to turn their heads, they would of caught us red handed, and of course they did. We paused and looked at eachother.

" Hey! Where are you two going?"

" Upstairs to get some...some..cookies!"

Esme glared at her sons attempt of explanation for our getaway. I rolled my eyes, only Edward would say something like that.

" Were eighteen, not sixteen. Just give us some privacy for gods sake!" he bellowed, grabbing my hand and pulling me upstairs to the main floor.

When we got to the top, Edward scooped me up in his arms and ran me up the stairs to his bedroom, stopping by his bedroom door to open it before slamming it shut with his foot. He tossed me on the bed and I scrambled in a sitting position, adjusting my dress that had rode up to my thighs.

He crawled onto the bed, leaning over me and just as his lips barely touched mine, the door opened.

" Edward! There you are. Your mother was looking everywhere for you. I tried to rein her in but both of them are very sure that they won't let you both alone together."

Fuck!

Edward groaned " I know that. Now can you let us alone."

" How about you both go swimming, it's a very warm day and the pool is eighty degree's by the mere sun. I don't think they will find you there."

Hm, Edward wet and shirtless. Carlisle was officially a genius in my book.

" Alright, thanks dad."

" No problem, son." He answered, closing the bedroom door.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist " Bella, wet and in a bikini. I like that idea."

" Okay, let me go home to change." I said, worming out of his embrace.

" I better see you in a speedo when I get back." I teased opening his bedroom door.

" No teasing."

I laughed and walked down the stairs to the front door. I slipped out and jogged over to my house, when I got inside I saw my dad watching a game, and Carlisle must of walked over here because he was sitting on the couch next to my dad.

I shut the front door and said a hello before walking up to my bedroom. I tossed my flip-flops on the ground and went to my drawer, finding a bathing suit. I'd acquired many of them thanks to Alice.

I grabbed one that was green, brown, yellow and white. It was a fabric that looked like their was beads on it and tied behind my neck and clasped in the back. The bottoms were just brown with two bows by the hips, which is where it held together.

I stripped my clothes off and slipped the bottoms on, then grabbed for the top, fitting the triangles over my chest. Luckily, this was one of the few bathing suits that fit me because they were sold as seperates, which is what I'd always had to do because I had small hips, but my chest was more vuluptuous, so when I bought a set of two, the bottoms would fit, and the top would be tight and the fabric wouldn't cover everything, but a size bigger was the exact opposite.

Once everything was tied correctly, I put my dress back on and then slipped my flip flops back on. I grabbed a beach towel from my closet and bounced downstairs.

" Going swimming?" My father asked.

" Please don't tell mom or Esme. They've been stalking us all week." I begged

" I don't like it that your going swimming with him alone."

Carlisle patted dad's back " Just give them a break, Charlie. They won't do anything and they haven't had a moment of peace."

" Whatever, but if he does something-"

" Which he wont!" I chimed.

" - then tell me and I will beat his skinny ass. Dinner is in an hour, so be here."

Carlisle chuckled and I kissed the top of my dad's head " He'll be a perfect gentlemen."

I kissed the top of Carlisle's head, thanking him, before walking out the back and cutting through the lawn to get to the backyard. Edward must of been waiting in the house so I went through the sliding glass door, calling him to the back before going back out.

I slid my flip flops back off again and slid my dress down, bending over to grab it and set it on the lounge chair.

" Your definately trying to kill me." he murmured against my neck, wrapping his arms around my waist.

With a smile, I turned around, looking down and seeing red and black board shorts. I pouted up at him.

" No speedo."

" No speedo. Maybe if we get married and build our own pool, then I can wear a speedo for you."

" I'll be waiting for that ring."

Something odd came over his expression.

" I was kidding, Edward." I said quietly.

I wasn't so sure if I was kidding all that much. Of course we'd just started actually going out with eachother, but I'd always seen myself marrying someone like Edward. What if I did actually marry Edward? I'd think that I would probably end up with a very satisfying life.

Shaking myself from my childish thoughts, I broke away from him and sat on the concrete, the edge of where the inground pool was build. The concrete was hot against my backside, but I sucked it up and dipped my legs in the water. It was really warm actually, and I am not a huge fan of warm pools, but if I finally got some alone time with Edward then it was worth it.

" So cold!"

Cold?

" Edward, the point of a pool is to cool off. And its warm."

" I don't like cold." he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes and hopped in, the water was five and a half inches deep, so my feet didn't really touch the ground. The water came up a little lower then his shoulders and I glared at him, pushing my legs around.

I dunked under the water and let it soak my hair, when I got back up I smoothed it down and looked over at Edward, who had yet to go under.

" Come on?"

" I don't think I want to get my hair wet."

I gaped " What are you? A girl. Come on."

He shook his head and I swam over to him, my hands on his shoulders as I tried to get him down. Edward's arms wrapped around my waist as he held me there.

" Don't want to kiss me under water?"

" And get chlorine in our mouths? No thanks."

" Please just go under." I begged.

" No."

I shoved him away and swam towards the innertube, I leaned foraward against the donut shaped water toy, kicking my legs to swim around. The black color of the tube almost scorching from the sun being attracted to the color.

" Whatever, then."

He tugged on the rope that was around the tube, pulling me around. I slapped his hand away and he frowned at me, pushing his hands back in the water.

" Don't get pissed at me."

" Look, I just wanted to be alone with you, but apparently you don't know how to have fun."

He rolled his eyes and pushed off the wall, enveloping his self in the water and wetting his hair. When he came up, he pushed the now dark bronze hair away from his face.

" Are you happy now." he asked, reaching into the tube to grab my hips and pull me forward. I squealed in surprise as I fell into the water with a splash.

" I'm not trying to be a bitch, okay. But we never have alone time with them around. I just want you to loosen up and have some fun with me. Is it hard to have fun around me or something?"

" No, it's not."

" Then what is it?"

" Bella, it's just water, okay."

" No, Edward because there's something that's holding you back from me, and I want to know. Spare my feelings."

A drop of water fell from his bottom lip and he looked away with a sigh.

" I'm hesitant."

I reached behind, hoisting myself up to sit on the concrete. Edward stepped forward, putting his hands on my knee's and leaned forward to press his head against my stomach.

" Why, Edward."

" Because I couldn't stand to lose you if this didn't work." he choked out.

I tipped his head up and stared into his green eyes " You won't lose me, Edward. I promise you that no matter what happens, we will always be friends. I could never go on if I didn't have you atleast as a friend."

His eyes seached mine, and he looked at me as if he could see my soul. I could see his too. He put his hands on either side of me, pushing up. The water fell off him and splashed into the pool. I backed away so he could get out. He helped me stand and brought me to one of the loungers. After laying down he helped me into his lap, instead I laid on my side next to him, resting my head on his neck and hand on his chest.

He reached for the towel and covered up our legs with both of them, the sun warmed both of us, the water drying up on our skin.

" Do you mean it?" he asked, his face bent down infront of mine.

" Yes, I do." I answered

EPOV

I lifted my hand up, and ran my thumb over her cheekbone as I leaned down to touch my lips with hers. My other hand ran over her mostly bare back, rubbing up and down over the smooth skin. Bella kissed me back, applying light pressure to my lips.

She touched the side of my face with her gentle hand. Her lips were soft against mine, and felt very comforting. Like home and warmth. I moved my hand to the back of her left knee, slowly moving it upwards until it hooked around my hip. She gasped quietly into my mouth and I smiled against her lips shortly before resuming our kiss.

We laid together, legs and lips tangled together for an immesurable amount of time. We didn't let anything get too heated, we just kissed contently in eachothers arms. After a long while, we'd been interrupted by an unwanted noise.

" ISABELLA! DINNER!" I heard the loud, gruff voice of Charlie yell.

Bella broke away from me and I sat up " No, don't leave."

" Trust me, I would love to continue this, but he said I had to be home for dinner before I left."

She grabbed her dress, towel and flip flops. I grabbed her waist and kissed her lips chastely.

" Your really making this hard."

" Then come over afterwards atleast."

" I can't. I have to pack for tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow, promise."

She slipped her dress over her hips and secured it with the bow behind her waist. Kissing my cheek she ran through the grass and to the backdoor of her house. She gave me a breathtaking smile before walking in and shutting the door.

I picked up my towel and stood up, walking into the house. My mother was chopping up a cucumber and tossing it in a big bowl of lettuce.

" Can I help with anything?"

" No, you just go wash that chlorine out of that hair of yours."

I kissed my mom on the cheek and she smiled.

" I'm glad your happy now, sweetie."

" Me, too."

BPOV

The next two days had really been jam packed between flights, registration, apartment scoping, campus exploring. Everything was really coming into place and while I was terrified, I was excited. Edward and I explored around both of our campus's and we went looking around for apartments, to which I found one with three other people as roommates, kind of.

It's a half mile from the campus and is a brownstone-like house with three floors and a small garage.. A top, bottom and main. It was basically made up of three apartments. On the bottom floor, or the basement, was Kelly, a sophmore and then Angela and her fiancee Ben were also sophmores at the same college as I was. I had the apartment on the top, which had four rooms. Bedroom, bathroom and living room with the kitchen. The way to the bedroom didn't even have a door, it was just down the hall and through to another area. The bathroom luckily had a door though. My father was just happy that I had people living around me that were genuinely nice.

Edward found a nice place about ten minutes from his campus. It was smaller, but pretty decent. There was a kitchen, a small living room, a good sized bathroom but a bedroom on the small side. He would have to get a queen sized bed instead. The good thing was, it was closer to me.

When we got back home, packing was in order. I was sad that I would be living far away, I'd never been without my parents, but I knew that it was time to grow up and leave the nest. I packed up my movies, cd's, pictures, books, clothes, shoes and every other important thing. I kept my bedsheets, because I'd bought new ones for my new bed that was to be delievered to my new residence. I had bought a few things for the apartment, but took my television and my mother even let me take the two seat plush couch that was in the basement.

I helped Edward with his things because man did he have many boxes for his music. Edward insisted on bringing every CD, tape and record he owned with him. I packed his clothes, knowing that if he did it, he would just shove everything in and worry about it later. I stacked his books in a box and taped it up next to his third, and final, box of cd's.

Since all of this stuff couldn't be shipped. Edward and I were packing up our cars, which we would need, with all of our stuff. Most of it in mine. Carlisle and Charlie were tagging along to drive the Volvo for most of Edward's things. They were going to help unpack, and someone to switch driving. When it came to Edward's motorcycle, I was going to ask Angela, Ben and Kelly if I could keep it in there because it was coming with us on the trip.

Edward and I had said goodbye to Alice, Jasper and Emmett. Everyone was staying in Illinois to attend their College's. Jasper was staying back to attend ISU, Illinois State University, to become a professor in History for college students. Alice was going to be going to a design school in downtown Chicago, so she was able to be close to home.

Emmett was going to Aurora to attend a great Architect school and Rosalie was apparently going to Nursing school at Loyola University.

" Alright we've got seven hundred and ninety five miles approximently, which will take about thirteen hours. Can we do it?"

I groaned, grabbing my water from the kitchen counter. Edward was all awake and smiling this morning, I wondered how he did it.

" Since my boyfriend here is such a morning person apparently, he is driving first."

" Alright. We make all stops together got it. Even if it's just me who has to use the washroom, everyone is going because I don't want anyone to get lost. Hear me?"

Edward nodded and handed me his blanket that was folded on the table. My mother was in tears and Esme was sobbing while holding onto her son in a tight embrace.

" Is it too late to keep you."

" Ma, I'll call you and Bella and I will visit over breaks and Holiday's, we won't miss anything."

I squeezed my mother tightly, also giving Esme a hug. " Keep him in line." she murmured.

I looked back at my house, sighing. It would always be a home to me, but I now had a home of my own for awhile. When I hopped into the car, I was so glad that the seat was just long and that there was no cup holder or anything between the seats, because it was by the radio along with the gear shift.

First I set my water in the holder as Edward made sure everything in the back was secure. Then he got in and started up the truck. I draped the blanket over myself and shifted around, trying to get comfortable. Edward patted his lap.

" Lay here, I won't bite."

I kissed his cheek and laid my head down in his lap, my head facing his stomach. He smoothed my hair down and pulled out of the driveway, soon the noise of the Highway easy to hear. My body was limp and exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. Edward turned on his CD that had classical music on, which helped me ease into sleep.

We made a stop three hours later at a resturaunt to eat. I hadn't gotten anything because I wasn't at all hungry, but Edward got hashbrowns and bacon to go just in case I got hungry. I'd fallen asleep in the car for an hour before I was up and alert.

" What excites you most about being in New York besides school?"

" I can be with you without no interruptions. Just think, Bella, we can make out for hours and nobody is going to be looking for, or finding us."

" Of course you would say that...I am looking forward to all the time silence."

" Alone time with me doesn't matter?"

I chuckled " That's a bonus."

My body leaned against his side, and he took his right hand off the wheel to wrap his arm around my waist. The open window wipped through and luckily my hair was up in a ponytail because it would of been flying. I rubbed the small amount of facial hair that was on his jaw.

" Shave?"

" Nah."

About an hour and a half later, we had to pull over because I had to take a serious piss and I was dying of thirst. Edward pulled into a gas station and I glared at him.

" Do you know how unsanitary a gas station bathroom is? People piss on the seat and do drugs in there!"

" Would you like me to get some windex and clorox, honey?"

I grumbled a swear word " Fine, but can you get me a bottle of water and gatorade while you in there, please?"

He kissed the top of my head " Of course."

I went to the bathroom, cringing at the grossness of it. I covered the plastic part of the seat in toliet paper before sitting to use the washroom. Once I finished I washed my hands and darted out of there, a creepy man was outside was on the ground mixing something in a spoon and holding a syringe in his left hand. His clothes were all black and ripped up, he had a grey-ish brown beard and mustache.

" Hey, sweetheart. Interested?" he asked, holding up the syringe

I yelped and ran towards the truck with top speed, trying not to trip on the gravel. That was scary as shit. My dad was filling up the SUV a little bit and paused when he saw me running towards him.

" What's wrong?"

" Guy, drugs. Go arrest him."

" Isabella, I ca-"

" He offered the syringe!"

He rolled his eyes and Edward came back, holding a pack of cigarretes and a bottled water for himself. I grabbed my stuff and scowled as he lit a cigarette and put the end in his mouth

" What?" he asked.

" I am not kissing you, ash tray."

Edward blew the smoke into my face and I coughed when I accidently breathed it in through my nose.

" Edward!"

" Let's hit the rode, hot stuff." he chirped, winking at me and smacking my ass with a _whack_

My father slapped his cheek, not hard, and got into the drivers seat of the SUV. Edward scratched the back of his head and opened the door for me, smiling sheepishly with the cigarette hanging from his mouth. I climbed in as did he and we were right back on the highway.

He let the burning ash tap off of the cigarette and took in a long breath before tossing it out of the window, rolling it up a bit.

" I was just messing with you, I didn't mean to blow smoke in your face."

" I know that."

" Are you angry?"

I laughed " No, Edward."

He breathed a sigh of relief " Any other girl probably would of decked me."

" Well, I guess I'm not like any girl."

" That's for damn sure. Now, can you give me a kiss right here where Daddy Swan hit me?"

He tapped his cheek and I leaned forward, pecking it quickly. Edward stole my hand and kissed the top of it.

" Oh, why thank you, sir." I said, laughing afterwards.

" Your the best."

" I'd kiss you if you weren't driving."

" We could stop at a hotel."

" NO! Were going all the way."

" That's what she said."

I giggled, he was such a child sometimes, which resulted in a loud and embarassing snort. Quickly I covered my nose and mouth, my eyes wide. Edward threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

" Wow, that was completely unattractive."

" _That _was just about the most adorable thing you've ever done."

" Shut up, that was so embarassing!"

" Beloved, that was adorable."

"Beloved?" I mocked " Do we live in the eighteenth century?"

" Mmm, no. But what else do you want me to call you; babe, baby, honey, darling, sweet cheeks, sweetheart, sweetie, sweetie pie... How about love?"

I looked at my hands " Once you love me, call me love. As for now, stick with Bella. Okay, love?"

" Sure thing, beloved."

I groaned and turned to lay on my back, legs bent up and my head in his lap. I stared up at him, running my eyes over his strong arms that were gripping the wheel. I reached into my bag, picking up the sour patch kids that I'd acquired before I left. I grabbed on and reached my arm between his and put it to his lips. He opened and I popped it in. His face screwed up for a moment before he relaxed the muscles.

I fed him more and soon the sourness was nothing. After going through like a fourth of the huge bag, he stopped me and popped it into my mouth instead.

" I think I feel a cavity growing. But thank you, they were delicious."

I reached up, wiping some of the sour crystal things off the corner of his mouth, I wiped it on my pants and placed a kiss on his lower abdomen.

" Watch yourself, women."

" Why?"

" I think you can guess."

I sat up, my hair probably a bit of a mess, I smoothed it out but leaned back into his side like before.

" You look tired, maybe another nap in store for you? We've got eight hours left."

" I'll start driving in about an hour and a half."

" If you insist."

" I know your tired."

At one o'clock we pulled over to get a little bit of food and we switched off drivers. Carlisle and I were now in control. When we got in the cab, Edward attempted to lay down, but it was a little difficult because his legs were so damn long. He bent them and laid his head on my lap as I did for him.

" You smell good." he breathed against my stomach.

I ran my hand through his hair, still staring at the road. " Try to sleep, Edward."

I had the music playing quietly as Edward closed his eyes, his breath evening in ten minutes time until he was fast asleep. We drove for another two solid hours until we stopped to fill up. Carlisle happily did my tank since Edward was fast asleep in my lap. My father used the washroom as did Carlisle before we got on the rode again.

After about a three and a half hour nap, Edward awoke looking a little groggy.

" Hey, sleeping beauty."

" Hi." he yawned, sitting up and throwing the blanket off, taking a long swig from a water bottle.

" I have to take a wicked piss."

" Use the bottle."

He lifted his hips and started to undo his belt.

" Edward? I was kidding. Here, call Carlisle."

We arrived at my apartment at seven thirty. Since only some of Edward's stuff were in my truck, we just packed it in there somehow and Carlisle and Edward went to his apartment to unpack his stuff.

Since they couldn't find a flight to Chicago for tomorrow, they were leaving tonight at ten fifteen.

" Okay, Bells, lets get you unpacked."

I opened the two doors so we could just go up the stairs without having to keep the door open. As I was securing the doors open, Angela and Ben came out.

" Hey, moving in today?"

" Yeah...Uh, dad, this is two of my roommates I guess you could say, Angela and Ben, guys this is my dad, Charlie."

Ben shook his hand firmly and Angela smiled shyly. " We would offer help but were heading out to dinner with my parents." Ben said.

" It's fine. Have a nice night."

I think we should of taken pictures of Charlie and I, the two most clumsiest people in the world, carrying a mattress up a flight of ten stairs. It was the most difficult task yet, and I had no idea how we were planning on doing this.

" Bella! Keep it still, stop moving it for one second." my father yelled, coming to an abrupt stop.

"Kid, you killing me here."

" Sorry, dad."

After we got the mattress in, we shoved it into the bedroom along with the frame. He helped me get the boxes in the living room and kitchen. It was really a change for me. I was moving _my_ stuff into _my _new apartment. This was a new leaf.

At nine thirty Carlisle and Edward pulled up with the Volvo. The motorcycle was parked on the street until I talked to my roommates. Edward and Carlisle hopped up the steps and I let them in.

" Mind the boxes."

Edward kissed my forehead " Hey."

" Hello."

" Well, kids. It takes about fourty minutes to get to the airport and I've called a cab." My father said.

I grasped my dad in a tight hug and fought the tears that were threatening to spill. He kissed my cheek and I released him, giving Carlisle a tight hug as I heard my father lecture Edward about taking care of me. Luckily Edward was only fifteen to twenty minutes away from me, so I was glad for that.

I wiped the tears that fell when they got into the cab.

" It's going to be hard without my mom or dad." I murmured.

Edward wrapped his arms around me " I know. But after awhile, we'll get in the swing of it. It'll be great, Bella, no worries."

I reached up on my tip toes and kissed his lips chastely. His arms wrapped around my waist to pull me close. I kissed him back just as enthusiastically as he was kissing me.

" You have an apartment for that kind of stuff now." I heard a somewhat familar voice say.

I pulled away and blushed. Angela was smirking at me and Ben was chuckling.

" Oh, sorry about that... I have a question. I don't know who uses the garage, but Edward has his car and motorcycle, and since he doesn't have a garage of his own and he doesn't want to leave the motorcycle in the parking garage, I was wondering if he could just store it here."

" I use it for mine and Ange's car, but yeah that's fine I'm sure it will fit."

" Thanks man." Edward said, rolling his bike towards the garage. Ben gave him the code and he got it in quickly before jogging back over to me.

" I should probably start getting a few necessary things together back...home? So I will see you tomorrow, okay?"

" Oh! First can you help me with my bed."

Ben and Angela laughed before shutting their apartment door.

" I really do need help." I said.

" Of course, let's check it out."

Edward helped me assemble the frame and get the boxspring and the mattress on the bed. As he was about to leave, I hung onto him tightly as he assured me he would see me tomorrow. Alright, so maybe I was a little scared of being alone.

" Beloved, if your really so scared I can stay."

I released him " No, no. It's fine. I'll get over it, just...call me before you go to sleep."

He placed a lingering kiss on my lips " I will, promise."

" I love you." I whispered.

" I know." Edward said, slipping into the car and waving to me as he pulled out.

With a deep breath, I spun on my heel and walked up the stairs, shutting both of the doors, locking them securely and putting in the code for the security alarm.

I walked up the flight to my apartment and opened the door, I shut it and locked it, shoving my key in my pocket.

Welcome Home, Bella.

**Authors Note- Anybody look at my review count lately? I am so close to 1,000 I can taste it. Please review, I know we can do it! We shall soon see who the thousandth reviewer is...**

**My new Story, Deep Into the Darkness, has been posted. **

**Summary-**

Edward, 23, and a Med Student has been caught up with his brutal past ever since he was adopted by the Cullen's. Will one summer with Bella Swan, former Cambridge student and friend of Alice, be enough for Edward to find true love, or will his unwillingness to let go of the past tear them apart? AU, BxE, Rated M for Language and Abuse.

**I suggest nobody under the age of 15-16 read the story due to Drinking, Language, small Abuse details, Orange Slices ( Detailed kissing scene's, talk of sex between characters) and innuendo. I can't force anybody not to read a story, but I hope that everyone has to sense to look away if they know they aren't supposed to read.**

**Check it out!**


	35. Adjusting

**Authors Note- Sooo...**

**Pledge520 was my THOUSANDTH reviewer! How exciting, and it would have never happened without all of you guys, clearly you are the best reviewers anybody could ask for. Thank you all for helping me reach my goal!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

Tuesday

August 14th

BPOV

Fuck, last night was exhausting.

I'd tried to get my whole entire bedroom together, but I was so tired that I ended up sleeping on a mattress with one blanket on it. I hadn't even gotten around to putting the sheets on. What I awoke to was pounding on the door and a scared sounding Edward who thought I was dead.

I slumped out of the bed and went to the door that was straight down the hall. I unlocked it and opened it, Edward swooped me up in his arms and kicked the door shut.

" Looks like your the freaked out one."

" I worry. You better make me a copy of your key."

" There's another one the kitchen counter." I added, rubbing my eyes with my palms.

He chuckled and walked towards my bedroom, setting me down on the bed. I grabbed for the blanket and sighed in happiness that it was still warm.

" You did alot last night. Looks like you assembled the metal cd shelf and put them alphabetically in order. It's quite convenient that there are some shelves on the walls for your thousands of books, which are also in order. Damn, you even put your clothes in the shelves in color order. Drawers filled, too."

" What time is it?"

" Look that the digital clock you plugged in."

_10:53am_

I groaned " Shower, must shower."

" Oh, what a surprise, you cleaned the bathroom, too!"

I went into the living room and grabbed my shampoo, conditionair, body wash, loofa and a razor. Edward grabbed the wash cloths and towels for me. I put my shower things on the shelves and put the makeshift shampoo and soap holder on the metal shower head rod, hanging my loofa and putting my razor on there. The sink didn't have a cabinet, so Edward just put the five towels and three wash cloths on the shelf that was a few feet above the toliet. I supplied some toliet paper and kleenex inside and took a shower.

It was weird taking a shower in there, but I guess I would get used to it. The curtain was light blue and the two carpet peices are white. I lathered my body, rinsed, washed my hair, shaved and then got out to dry off. Quickly, I combed through my hair with my brush that was on the smaller shelf beside the sink.

Since I hadn't brought clothes with me, I wrapped the towel around myself and went to the bedroom. Edward strolled in just then with a crooked smile on his beautiful face.

" I checked out the closet looking thing that's right outside to the left of your door. It's a washer and dryer, so that's pretty cool. I am guessing you guys share because there is already Tide, Downy, Clorox and Shout for the clothes."

" Cool, I didn't want to have to go to a laundromat."

I grabbed a few articles of clothing, a pair of dark wash jeans, a white, blue and green striped polo, underwear and socks. I changed into my clothes and put my towel and previous clothes in the basket in my bedroom. I tossed my hair up in a ponytail, did my makeup and slipped on my converse.

" I'm thinking we should make the bed."

Edward picked up my bed-in-a-bad and laughed upon seeing the familar fabric. There was no doubt that he wouldn't tease me about it with the laughs that he was obviously trying to keep in. I pouted.

" Bella, you must have a fetish for these sheets because you have had them in Twin, Full and now Queen size beds."

" I like it!"

" Okay, whatever makes you happy."

We made the bed with both of the sheets and then the comforter. I put the new pillows in the new pillow case's, because alot of my old pillows had been flat, now they were fluffy and plump looking. I tossed my stray blanket ontop of the bed.

Edward helped me in the kitchen, we had to clean out the cabinets before putting things in there, but I only had seven plates, most of them just in case I have visitors, a set of silverware, three different sized pots, and three different sized pans. I had a few other cooking tools, but not that many, just enough to get by with what I need. My father bought me a brand new Ice cream scooper, he knew me so well.

" I think we should go grocery shopping." Edward said " I have not a morsel of food in that apartment of mine."

We seperately took cars and drove to the nearest grocery store, which was a Jewel. I'd only bought things I really needed and were needed especially; Eggs, bread, flour, sugar, orange juice, milk, a few vegetables and fruits. I got some bacon, some randoms like Cheez-Its, fruit snacks, a box of Famous Amos cookies, Life cereal, frozen pizza's, tyson buffalo wings, a carton of Mint Chocolate Chip icecream (green kind) and just a few other things that I liked to eat. I had to get pasta and mozzerella and parmesan cheese, the parmesan being fresh and not shredded. I'd even bought a hand grater like I had back home.

I had brought a few packages of chicken breast and ground beef, along with many many different seasonings because I basically used them daily on everything I made. I was not going to be eating a whole mess of fast food around here, and I loved to cook for myself and Edward. Having meats around would be necessary.

I had to watch what Edward bought, because the man had six different kinds of cereals, four boxes of gushers and fruit by the foot. I also noticed the two boxes of oatmeal cream pies, I don't even think he likes them.

" Edward, you really need to be careful with what you buy. You can get these things in moderation, not four at a time." I said with a laugh

He released the handle on the cart and turned around, slidding his arms around my waist. His hands slipped into the back pocket of my jeans as his lips pressed against my forehead.

" Want some honey buns?" he asked.

I reached back and slapped his ass " Already got some, love."

Edward scowled and me and reached over to pick up a box of HoHo's.

" I have alot to teach you, Edward."

Edward went to his place to put his stuff away while I went to mine. The fridge was all clean when I opened it, no funny smell or anything, just smelling kind of like plastic and new. I put the butter in quickly and put the icecream in the freezer. It was fun putting all the things where I wanted them. The bread was in a basket by the toaster and the coffee beans were by the coffee maker, unlike at home where they are in the cabinet.

I arranged the drinks in the fridge, along with the vegetables and fruits. I put the cheez-its, a bag of chips, cookies and fruit snacks in a cabinet. There was a drawer beneath the stove that I put a baking pan into.

With a sigh, I looked at all my other stuff. Edward came by and helped me with my television. It was on the coffee table I had acquired. I put the DirecTv box in and plugged everything in, turning it on and flipping through the channels to make sure it all worked. I put my game systems in the open place under the top of the coffee table, putting the games in the two drawers.

All of my movies were on a movie tower next to the television. I adjusted the couch infront of the television, putting it close enough, but far enough away. I adjusted a few other belongings I had and stood by the door, looking around the room.

" My turn."

" Edward, why did you put your movies in with the silverware box?"

" DON'T KNOW!" he shouted from the bedroom.

I rolled my eyes and took out the new silverware, I put them in the drawer with the plastic seperator. Last night Edward had already put the living room together, which had a plasma, black leather couch, glass coffee table and he put together a bookcase for his books and movies, along with a few scattered pictures of us and his friends.

He had a few peices of art he wanted to hang on the walls, so we hung those first while I did everything in the kitchen. The food was still on the counter except for the freezer things. I asked him a few questions on where to put things but he didn't care so I did it my way. Coffee beans by coffee and bread by toaster, a simple way. I put the paper towels on the counter near the sink and hung the tea towels on the hand bar on the oven

At around four thirty we were basically done with everything. There weren't many things to take care of and it went by quick. His kitchen was organized, as well as his bathroom and bedroom, and everything was put in it's place for the years to come.. We collapsed together onto his couch with a long sigh of exhaustion.

" That was fun."

" That's what you think. I am hungry."

" I got some ground beef, want me to throw together some burgers? I've got buns!"

" I'm sure you do. Yes, please."

He kissed my cheek and bounded off to the kitchen, talking about how he was cooking for the first time in his kitchen.

" So, when do you get a call from that cafe?"

" They said somewhere between Thursday and Sunday. I'm hoping Thursday. Since all of my classes all end at three this semester that I will work from three thirty to nine. And I get seven fifty an hour. I get Saturday off and I work Sunday from ten to seven, so thats nine hours and lots of money for me. What about you, Esme said you got a call last night from the restuarant right off campus."

" Yup, your looking at the new waiter as of next Wednesday. I get seven dollars an hour and I work from four to ten. I'm wondering when I'll have time to study, but I've got Friday and every other Sunday off. But on Saturdays I start at noon, so we can have special sleepovers if we don't have to study too much."

" I like that." I murmured

Edward finished making us dinner and we ate together on the couch, chewing on the burgers and talking until we'd ate everything. I helped clean up the dishes and we went back on the couch to watch some television until I had to leave. Though it really couldn't be called watching television with Edward's lips on my neck and lips. It was hard to concentrate on the screen.

I'm not complaining though.

I was fully expecting someone to come in and interrupt us, per usual, but nothing happened.

That was probably the best part.

His tongue ran over my lip, and I gasped. Edward had never used his tongue, ever. I gripped his biceps, letting out a low moan against his mouth. He squeezed his arm around my waist and I leaned up, using my other arm to help. Edward's other hand gripped the back of my neck before moving down.

Suddenly his grip tightened on me and he lifted me up in his strong arms, carrying me out of the living room and to his bedroom. He lowered me to the bed as I played with the buttons on his shirt, I got them through the holes and tossed the shirt off. He pulled away for a moment to pull my polo off before resuming our kiss.

Then, the phone rang.

We attempted to ignore it, but Edward eventually pulled away to see who it was.

" Even when we aren't home they are still doing this!"

He answered his phone, putting it to his ear " I'm busy!...Yes, seriously...Fine, mom...Bella's perfectly fine, actually she is feeling very neglected, I was giving her a daily dose of special attention...Kidding...No, I'm really not...Okay...I love you, too, mom."

Edward tossed the phone in another direction and scanned his hands over my stomach and chest. I threw my head back into the pillows, his lips connecting with my neck. He moaned against my neck and reached for the loops on my jeans, pulling up.

" Mmm, Edward, what are you doing?"

" Giving you some special attention."

I put my hands on either side of his face and pressed his lips against mine, encouraging him to continue. After a few minutes of heated kissing later, Edward pulled away. I groaned from the loss of his body against mine, his lips on my skin.

That was the hottest none tongue kissing ever.

" Bella, I can't keep going any longer. Were obviously not doing that...so.."

" On your decision."

" You agreed!"

I pulled out from under him and grabbed my shirt. I let out a sigh of frusteration at the situation, but in my mind, I knew that it was probably best for now. My brain and body just couldn't help but be upset about it though.

" Bella, come on don't be mad."

" I'm not mad. I'm frusterated. There is a difference."

" Well, I'm sorry, okay."

" I'm going to head back, I'll see you later."

He stood up and followed me as I walked towards the front door, fastening the three buttons on my polo shirt.

" Will you please talk to me?" he asked.

" What?" I asked, slipping my converse on.

Edward ran a hand through his hair and sighed, he looked around the room for a moment before speaking up. I tied my shoes and stood infront of him, waiting for the words to come out of his already open mouth.

" Nothing, nevermind."

I sighed and opened the door.

" Bella, I..."

" I love you, Edward. Sleep well."

" You, too." I knew which part he was refering to.

I walked down the stairs and out of the main door, walking to my car quickly. I drove to my apartment, being quiet when I went in just in case any of my roommates were alert people with good ears. I jogged up the stairs to my apartment and took out my key, I jammed it into the lock and twisted it.

When I got in I striped to my underwear and got into bed. It was very quiet, not one noise. I sniffed once and closed my eyes tightly, falling into a dreamless sleep.

EPOV

I felt a little bad, so I had decided to sneak over to Bella's and try and make her feel better after last night. I showered, dressed and was out.

I didn't know if she felt rejected or what, but I knew that she was very upset when she left last night. I felt like an even bigger asshole that I couldn't even told her I loved her back last night. I'd almost said it, but I stopped myself.

Her kitchen was stocked with all the things I needed to make her a nice, big breakfast. Luckily, there was directions on how to make pancakes, so I quickly mixed it up into a nice batter and grabbed a pan, spraying it down with vegetable oil before pouring a circle of the batter in the pan.

Grabbing some bacon and eggs from the fridge, I grabbed two of the other pans, using the bigger one to cook some bacon and the other to make scrambled eggs. I made sure that the eggs weren't at all leaky, because I knew Bella hated them if they were even a little leaky. I just put a little salt and pepper on it and fried it up.

Once everything was cooked. I put the two big pancakes in the middle of the plate, put the bacon on the side and the scrammbled eggs on a small plate. After collecting a fork I walked into her room quietly, she was just a little lump under the covers. I set the food on her end table and knelt on the side of her bed, resting my hand on her shoulder. I took note that she was only wearing underwear. It wasn't anything new, Bella actually admited when she was fifteen that she hated sleeping in clothes.

" Bella, wake up. I made you breakfast."

She was still fast asleep.

" Come on, beloved." I whispered in her ear.

Suddenly she shifted around, groaning in the process. " What do you want?"

" I made you breakfast."

" You can eat it."

Alright, so maybe she was just a little pissed.

" Iz, I am really sorry about what happened last night. I mean, I said a few weeks ago it would be best for us to tone it down a bit because I thought it would be better. I'm a guy, of course I want sex, but when it comes to you I want it to be special, not just because it's in the heat of the moment and rushed...But just because I see it that way doesn't mean you should give me the cold shoulder, I'm just looking out for our relationship."

" Whatever, fine."

I sighed " That's not the answer I want."

" No, your totally right. I'm just frusterated at times because I want to, but you hold it back. I know your only doing what's best and I am sorry for being so hostile about it." she said, tilting her head with a tired look.

I kissed the side of her head and Bella smiled. I set the plates in her lap and her eyes widened.

" Wow, you went all out didn't you, love?"

" Only for my favorite women in the whole entire world."

" What would Esme think?"

" She knows your the favorite." I teased.

" Even if I am psycho girlfriend sometimes?"

" Bella, I love that your not perfect, or the fact that you don't try to be perfect."

" Thank you."

It was little that I knew that time with Bella, was very limited now. Of course, we saw eachother Friday nights and slept over. On the weekdays we never saw eachother at all because after school, it was work. Bella had gotten the job at the cafe

We called eachother before going to bed every night. I could tell how much being away from me wore her down, and it was the same for me because I couldn't stand not seeing her for a day, let alone five. Today was a Wednesday, and I was definately looking forward to Friday. I'd gotten up and went through my classes, I started my first class at seven thirty, and I was over with all of my classes at three fifteen, then I have fourty five minutes to get ready for work.

I got out of my last class and headed home, dialing Bella's number to talk to her for a few minutes.

" What!" I heard her spat angrily.

" Should I call back later?"

" Edward...I'm sorry today has just been fucking horrible. I got up late, and had to run to campus quickly, ontop of that a kid ran into me with scorching hot coffee on my white shirt, and then proceeded to laugh at me when he saw my bra. Then I figured out that I was so tired that I didn't put my underwear on right, I had conditionair still in my hair and everyone was staring at me because it looked greasy. Then I totally failed at a stupid quiz because I hadn't had time last night to study."

She was crying, I could hear it.

" Oh, Bella. Don't cry, look I'll come by tonight after my shift and stay for an hour or so."

" No, no. It's okay, I'm just really frusterated and upset."

" Just take a deep breath. Look, I'll see you Friday, I can pick up some chinese food and when you get off at nine I will be there." I assured her, trying my hardest to soothe her.

Bella sighed " Thank you for that, and for calling. Your voice makes it better."

I chuckled " It's in the job description."

" Okay, well I have to head off to work. I love you."

" I know, try and have a good day."

" Will do."

September 5th

Wednesday

" You've got table six, Edward."

I groaned, I was already waiting another table. " Alright."

When I got to the table, I saw two people, two guys infact, and they were staring at eachother with love in their eyes. I guess I was supporting gay people today, too. Tonight they were short two people, so I had to come in today and fill in until eight thirty.

" Hello, I am Edward and I will be your waiter. What drinks can I start you out with tonight?"

Oh, shit. Why are they giving me the googly eyes? I forced a smile and the dark haired guy gave me a huge smile.

" I would like a Diet Coke, and my partner here would love an iced tea, sweetened."

" I will be right back with that."

I scrambled away from the table and went to table fifteen, making sure that their meal was satisfying, after assuring things were fine, I grabbed the drinks for table ten and got the order, and then went back to six to give them their drinks.

" Do you need a few minutes to scan the menu?"

The blonde was scanning my body, I felt suddenly dirty. I would definately take a shower before going over to Bella's tonight. He was smiling as he stared at my legs, was it because I was tall or something?

" No, were just fine. I would like the alfredo with the grilled shrimp, nice and spicy."

Uh...

" And I want the New York Strip, with mushrooms and garlic mashed potatoes on the side."

He enphasized the 'strip'. I would definately be telling Bella about this one.

I put their order in and went to table fifteen, they took their check and paid cash, giving me a five dollar tip, I took it happily and went to the kitchen to get table ten's order. It was a group of four ladies, and they were ogling me, too.

What is with people these days?

" So, Mr. Waiter, have a girlfriend? wife? fiancee." the busty red head purred.

I rolled my eyes and felt her rubbing her foot against my ankle. I jumped back in surprise.

" I'm married." I lied.

She quirked a brow " Your can't be over twenty...And where is your wedding ring?"

" I don't wear it to work, it tends to get lost easily."

" Too, bad. You would be fun." a blonde said from across the table, giggling with the other girls.

I dished out their food and went back to the ogling gay couple. I refilled their drinks and went to the kitchen to get their food. I served it to them and went back to the group of girls to refill their drinks. Finally, I was able to sit down and breath for a moment.

" Tired, champ?"

I looked over, seeing my co-worker Amber smiling at me.

" No, idea. I've got a gay couple looking at me like they want me to get in to their group of two and make it three. And a group of four girls ogling me. Had to tell her I was married to get those claws off of me."

When the two guys had paid their bill and left already. I was relieved to see that it wasn't a dine and dash because it had happened last week to Amber, she said it happens every once in awhile. I went back to the table to collect the tip they left. Of course they didn't just leave me a twenty dollar tip, but a note underneath it with a number.

_555-7727_

_You'd make a great addition._

_Your beautiful._

_- Chad and Julian_

I shoved it in my pocket, along with the little love note from the red head named 'Chasity'.

I needed Bella.

**Authors Note- Looks like Edward is attracting males in New York, huh? Are we liking Chad and Julian? Should we see them again...I'm not planning on it.. Haha.**

**Follow me on Twitter, I post Ambivalence teasers every Tuesday.**

**Deep into the Darkness teasers on Sundays.**

**Link to my twitter page is in my profile.**

**Review if you'd like!**


	36. Nineteen

**Authors Note- Hello, all. I know it's late, I know, but I had family here, and if you know what I mean by that; It was crazy and I was busy.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

EPOV

I stopped by the chinese place in the city that was about five minutes from Bella's apartment. I picked up some sweet and sour chicken, shrimp fried rice, pineapples with sauce and a few others things for us to eat.

I didn't even bother to swing by my house because I figured I could shower at Bella's, I had a change of clothes at her house anyways, it was no big deal. When I arrived I ran into Kelly, I greeted her before getting out my key and heading into the apartment. After setting the food down I went straight to the shower, only having about five minutes until she got home.

Since I didn't have my shampoo, I just used hers, which smelt like vanilla with a slight scent of strawberry. I washed up quickly and stepped out, ruffling my hair with the towel before wrapping it around my waist and heading to her bedroom.

There was a pair of sweats and a wifebeater, and a pair of boxers thrown in there. I dressed quickly with the clothes, eager to get finished quick so I could greet her by the door. When I got back into the kitchen I took out the boxes and put them on the floor in the living room, flipping on her television to watch Family Guy.

Just then she walked in, smiling widely when she saw me. Her bag dropped from her arms and she quickly walked towards me.

" Thank god, I missed you." she exclaimed, kneeling down and dumping herself into my arms.

I breathed in her scent, which smelt of coffee beans. I kissed her temple softly and ran my fingers through her long hair, whichwas full of tangles.

" I need to shower, please. After being groped by a co-worker... Ugh." she shivered and stood up

" Atleast two gay guys didn't want you to join their group. I got notes tonight."

" Your dishing that story when I get out!"

I heard the bathroom door slam and the water was turned on. When she reappeared she was freshly showered, wearing a pair of shorts and a small tanktop. I reached for my work pants, whih I'd folded and left on the floor, taking out the two notes I'd recieved tonight when I was working. I knew she woul get a kick out of it somehow.

" They were giving me the googly eyes all night. And a group of four women were ogling me. I had to tell the red head I was married to get her foot from rubbing my leg. I've got the damn note in my pocket with the girls number telling me to call her."

Bella pouted and I kissed her lips, my right hand resting gently on her cheek.

" You happen to be mine." she murmured against my lips before leaning back.

I picked up a fork and dug it into the rice to get a nice forkful, carefully lifting it up to Bella's awaiting lips. She wrapped her lips around the fork and pulled away, chewed slowly before pressing her lips to mine.

" I've missed you." she murmured

My hand ran over the smooth skin on her cheekbone " You, too, beloved."

She kissed me softly before pulling away " Now, I am starved. We can finish that later."

I picked up a piece of the chicken and dipped it in the pineapple sauce, shoveling the whole thing in my mouth. I was eating with my girlfriend, and I'm not one to say I don't have to impress, but Bella doesn't hold such sky high standards. She knew who was was falling in love with, and apparently thats me.

" That was pretty impressive. Does being lusted over make you hungry?" she teased, taking a piece of chicken herself.

" You have no idea." I groaned, chewing and swallowing.

We ate, talking between bites and laughing at the episode of Family Guy we were watching. I sneaked in small kisses between our bites of food. Once we finished, I threw out the white cartons and went back into the living room, seeing Bella curled up on the couch. She patted the spot next to her and I took a seat, wrapping my arm around her waist tightly to pull her close to me.

I'd missed holding her all week, my bed was cold, and I missed the sleepovers on school nights. Seeing eachother between classes and actually sitting next to eachother in the classes. Of course we'd never dated in highschool per se, but I still missed the little things.

BPOV

With a grunt, he fell on his back on the couch, I crawled up his body, kissing my way up his neck to his lips. I'd missed this every single day this week, he worked last Sunday, but he had this one off, so I was hoping he would come back tomorrow night after work and stay until I left for work Sunday morning at ten.

We really don't get all that much time together because of work, if it were just classes, it wouldn't be a big deal at all, but the work was in the way. Truthfully I just wished I was able to just go to school. Edward of course is able to, but he said that he wanted to work for it, because it gives him a sense of accomplishment. Although Carlisle and Esme are paying for his classes, he has to pay for rent and food for himself.

As I kissed him, I tried to shift around, but this seemed to be very hard on a couch as small as this one, and it wasn't very wide.

Bed.

Slowly I sat up " Come on."

Edward sat up quickly, lifting his body up and leading me backwards into my bedroom. I turned us around and pushed him onto the bed. The good part was, things were going good, the bad part, it was ruined because he banged his head on the wall.

He gasped and sucked in a breath. Immediatly I stopped, pulling my lips from his neck.

" Edward! Oh my god. Love, are you okay?"

" Fuck, that hurt like a bitch."

I put my hands on the back of his head and he winced in pain, trying to move away. I kissed both of his cheeks and helped him sit up. I felt around his scalp, making sure there was no cuts or blood. I didn't want to make it worse, but I didn't want to just not feel around if there was something cut.

" Does anything feel funny besides the pain."

" N-No." he stuttered, staring at my chest.

I settled in his lap, wrapping both of my arms around his neck tightly in an embrace. He kissed the side of my neck, his hands rubbing circles on my back to assure me that he was okay.

" I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just playing."

" I know, Bella. I'm okay, I promise. Want to make me feel better though?"

Leaning back, I looked into his green eyes " What?"

" Kiss me."

I leaned forward, capturing his lips in a kiss. He laid us on our sides and loosely put his arms around me as he held me. I sighed against his mouth, running my fingers through his bronze locks.

I'd never experienced such peaceful bliss.

In the morning, I awoke earlier then Edward. As always, he had managed to wrap himself completely around me. As gently as I could, I pealed him off of me and grabbed my robe from my chair and fastened it around my waist over my tanktop and shorts. I ran a brush through my hair and heard my phone ringing in the kitchen.

Quickly, I skipped out of the room and grabbed it, not wanting to noise to wake Edward.

" Hello," I answered sleepily, digging through the fridge.

" Hi, darling. You sound tired." I heard my mother say.

" Oh, hi mom. Yeah, I just got up."

She laughed " Sounds like your ruffling around, what are you up to?"

" Making breakfast for Edward and I." I answered, not really thinking much of it.

" Oh, he slept over?"

" Yeah, he has Fridays off and I got Saturdays off, and he doesn't work until noon today so he came over after my shift last night and we spent time together."

" That's nice, what did you do?"

" Nothing. We just ate, watched television and went to bed." I said nonchalantly

I could almost see her glaring at the phone. " Do you expect me to believe that's all that you did?"

" Well, what else do you presume we did?" I asked.

Now she was quiet.

" I'm not going to give you every gory detail about our relationship. What we do in the privacy of our apartments is none of your business."

" It sure is, Isabella."

" I am going to be nineteen in six days...Look, I really don't want to talk about this right now. I'll just talk to you later."

She bid me a goodbye and I hung up, starting to make breakfast for the both of us. As I was putting toast into the toaster, two strong arms wrapped around my waist. A smile spread over my face and I turned around.

" Morning, beloved."

" Good morning." I greeted, kissing his chin.

After I finished breakfast, we ate and then cleaned up all of the dishes. I didn't make anything too special, just eggs, bacon and toast. This morning I really wasn't into making a huge meal for us, but he didn't seem to mind. He dressed in his previous clothes from last night and walked up to me.

" I should head home and get ready for work. But I want your ass in my apartment."

" This ass?" I asked.

He wrapped his arms around me, planting both of his hands on my ass and grasping. I laughed, surprised and he smiled down at me, a lopsided grin on his face.

" THIS ass."

I kissed his lips softly" Okay...What time do you get off?"

" Around ten. Please don't go to sleep before I get home."

" Maybe I will, maybe I wont." I teased

"I must go, beloved."

I squeezed him once and let him go, following him towards the door to let him out. I opened the door and he stepped through. I leaned against the door frame.

" I'll see you tonight."

" Okay. Be safe." I whispered.

" Always am."

He kissed my forehead, gave me a wink and walked down the stairs towards the front door. I locked my door and leaned against it, already bored and at loss at what to do now. I found it sad that I was already missing him.

I knew that sitting here and doing nothing wouldn't be any good so I kept myself busy with cleaning; starting with my bedroom, then the living room and kitchen. Lastly I cleaned the bathroom, bleaching everything and cleaning up the mirror. I even dusted the front door and shined all the knobs on the kitchen cabinets.

Finally I showered, dressed and got in the car to do a little bit of grocery shopping. I talked to Alice a little bit while I went through the aisle's, she babbled about how school was going for her also a little bit about Jasper.

She was planning on sending Edward and I's birthday gifts to the apartments, so she asked for the address, ignoring my complaints that I didn't want anything for my Birthday. When I left the store, I took my time unloading things, trying to buy myself time.

At four I made myself an early dinner, and or late lunch which was a salad and a turkey and bacon sandwich on wheat bread. I went for a run fifteen minutes after eating and then chilled on the couch until seven. I took out one of my many books and settled down for a few hours of good reading when the television started to become more and more less interesting.

At around nine I decided to leave a little earlier, and I grabbed a sweatshirt and slipped on a pair of black flip flops. I grabbed my bag and keys and headed towards the apartment. I pulled up and walked up the stairs towards the top floor.

As I walked down the hall, I heard noises, and not keys or footsteps. It was more like moans and something else that I could no pinpoint. When I glanced down the hall, I saw a dark haired back and a blonde women having sex against the hallway wall

I paused, and looked just a moment. They really seemed to be stuck in the moment, and they didn't even notice me. I saw the guys ass, which was just...there. I shivered in discust and scurried past them to Edward's apartment door. I unlocked it and darted in, locking it behind me.

There door was right there, was it really that impossible to wait?

I rolled my eyes and tossed my shoes off, skipping to the couch. The soft carpet felt nice on my feet. I hopped onto the couch and tossed off my sweatshirt, covering up with a blanket that was drouched in the scent of Edward.

The room grew darker and the television was really the only thing keeping the room lit. I was more and more tired with every passing episode of That 70's Show. At around ten, I heard the lock clicking and the door opening and closing. There was a few noises of shoes and shuffling of clothes before I felt his presence beside me.

I heard him sigh as his arms wormed behind my knee's and on my back. He hoisted me up in his arms and walked towards, what I think, was his bedroom. I lazily opened my eyes and saw him looking down at me.

" Sorry, I just got so tired when I was waiting."

He kissed my forehead " It's okay." he whispered, laying me down on the bed.

Edward unbuttoned my shorts and slid them off, tossing it on the floor. Then he took off my top, which I was only wearing a tanktop under, leaving me in my underwear and the top on me. He kissed my temple, humming against my skin.

" I'm going to take a shower. Some stupid fuck decided it would be fun to throw a coke at me when he asked for _diet_."

"Mmm."

I heard the water running for ten minutes, and then the open and closing of drawers in the bedroom as he dressed in clean clothing. Soon he crawled into bed behind me, wearing only a pair of boxers.

I turned around in his arms and opened my eyes, leaning forward I pressed my nose against his. He rubbed his nose against mine and I almost melted from the damn sweetness of it. His hand ran through my hair before settling it behind my neck. My hand rested on his chest, rubbing the smooth, sculpted skin.

" Is it stupid to say I missed you?"

" Ilove you." I whispered

" I know you do."

" Are you getting closer to loving me?"

" Halfway there. Fifty percent." he whispered, leaning close to brush his lips against mine.

" No pressure."

He hummed against my lips and I smiled, gently kissing his lips with more pressure then before. Suddenly I heard his stomach rumble, it was vibrating and I could feel it against mine, then I remembered, the man must be starving.

" Shit. You must be fucking starving."

" No, no. It's fine."

" With a boy as skinny as you, it sure as hell is not fine."

I sat up and he groaned in aggrivation.

" Please let me make you something, it would make me feel better."

He swatted my ass " Come back soon."

I ran off to the kitchen, only wearing my underwear and a tanktop. When I opened the fridge, I gasped in excitement upon seeing the Lemonade and Blueberry punch. This drink is absolutely amazing, and one of the drinks Esme has made, along with her Apple mint punch. I poured two glasses, making sure to get a few blueberries in there before going into the kitchen and looking around.

He had some leftover turkey meatloaf in his fridge, so I figured maybe I could amp it up for him. I grabbed a few sun dried tomatoes ( surprised he even had them ) and some garlic, arugula, miracle whip and pancetta. I took two peices of the turkey meatloaf and sliced two rolls.

I chopped up the arugula as fine as I could, and mixed it with the miracle whip and chopped a clove of garlic. I mixed it together and then spread it over four of the half slices to make him two sandwiches. I put the meatloaf on, then a few sun dried tomatoes and put some of the pancetta on it. I did the same to the other sandwich and put it on a plate. I quickly cleaned up the dishes and scampered back to the room with the sandwiches and drinks.

I set the plate in his lap and he laughed " Your just perfect."

" Thank you."

I took a sip of the punch and fought a moan, it was so delicious. Edward took a huge bite of the meatloaf and groaned.

" Good stuff." he said " Here." Edward held it up to my mouth and I took a bite.

It really was delicious, just a recipe that I'd seen on the television while watching Food Network. He ate both of the sandwiches, giving me bites inbetween chewing. Afterwards we polished off the glasses and put all of the dishes on the dresser, not bothering to go into the kitchen.

" Better?"

" Much. Thank you." he answered.

I kissed his lips quickly " It was no problem."

He held me up in his signature way of wrapping his body all around mine. When his leg curled all around mine, I looked at him.

" Enjoying this."

"Sleep." he whispered.

I nestled my face against his neck and draped an arm over his waist. Edward tugged at the comforter to bring it up closer, but it was already tangled around our legs. Instead he grabbed a thick blanket, slowly unraveling it without jostling me to much. He covered my top half with it and I smiled.

" Night."

" Goodnight, beloved."

Fucking birds.

_Chirp._

_Chirp Chirp_

_Chirp._

_Chirp Chirp Chirp._

Well fucking chirp, chirpidy chirp chirp to you fucking bird. Why in the hell is the window open anyways? It was right outside the damn window, chirping it's heart out and annoying the shit out of me.

" Mom...no, put the frog down and back away."

What the?

Edward was talking in his sleep again.

" Mmm, Bella." he purred against my neck.

I could of sworn he was awake, but he was breathing evenly and his eyes were closed. Fast asleep. I kissed the top of his head and rested my cheek on it. His arms squeezed me tighter, almost cutting off all air circulation.

I looked over at the clock and saw it was eight ten, which meant I had and hour and fifty minutes until I needed to be at work. I laid with Edward for awhile, waiting for him to wake, but he never did. At nine I had to get up and head back, the drive was already fifteen, twenty minutes away and I needed to shower and get off to work.

Without waking him, I pried his arms off and put a pillow in my spot, the one I was laying on so it would smell like me. He grasped it in his arms and squished it tightly. I grabbed my shorts and top, wiggling into both before skipping out of the room and gently closing the door.

I grabbed a pad of paper and wrote him a note;

_Edward,_

_You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you._

_I am off to work, so I guess I will talk to you soon, _

_and see you next Friday._

_I love you, Edward._

_- Izzy_

I screamed.

Edward dropped me and yelped.

After a very long morning and afternoon of attending classes, I had been very surprised when Edward was waiting outside of my last class this afternoon. He said that he called my work and he was getting today off, and we were spending the day together to celebrate our Birthday.

We'd had lunch at a small bistro downtown and drove back to my place. The attack started when I closed the two front doors. He was all over me, kissing and touching. Barely making it up the stairs, I was fumbling with the lock abd jey as Edward's lips completly covered mine in a passion and lust filled kiss.

I was definately enjoying how the afternoon was going, and I didn't want to stop. I'd basically jumped onto him, my lips latched onto his.

When we finally got it open, he was basically holding me up because my inability to stand, weak at the knee's from his kiss.

Then we heard it.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

It scared the living shit out of me, and apparently Edward because I was now laying on the hard floor. In the living room were our fou- three, best friends were standing with wide grins on their faces.

" Didn't expect that enterance..." Alice mumbled.

Edward helped me up and looked over at them, they frowned a little bit.

I was kind of pissed that they crashed Edward and I's party, that I wanted to take to the bed, but whatever.

" Hey, guys."

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Emmett boomed.

I shut the door to the apartment and looked over at Alice " How did you get in?"

" Well, I rang the bell and the girl answered, her name was Angela, and I asked her if she had a key or anything because you were our friend. She didn't believe us until we convinced her. But she told me where you kept the spare hidden so we decided to come in and surprise you...Surprise!"

I laughed " How did you all get out of school."

" Ehh, it was easy. Told the professor I was sick with the stomach flu. Plus, Emmett only has one class tomorrow and Jazz is off for the day for some odd reason."

" Well, thanks for coming out, guys. It, uh, really means alot." I said, giving Alice a hug.

Emmett gave me one of his signature bear hugs and Jasper gave me a gentle hug.

" Soooo, nineteen! How does it feel."

" The same as eighteen." I answered truthfully.

Alice let out a small giggle, sounding like a tween at a Hannah Montana concert. I looked over at the end table by the couch, seeing a stack of presents from them. On the counter was a cake, actually, two smaller cakes.

That was odd, Edward and I always shared one cake. But this year I'd actually made him a cake. Last night I'd made him a red velvet with cream cheese frosting cake because it was his favorite besides chocolate.

" Well, make yourselfs at home. If you don't mind I think I am going to take my girlfriend to her bedroom."

Alice cringed " Ew, no. And just to let you know, I am crashing here with Bella, and the guys are going with you back to your apartment."

" Um...Bella and I are ditching tomorrow, so I was going to stay over..."

" NO! You can't."

" Alice, please. Just for tonight since it's our Birthday. Your staying for the weekend right?"

She huffed " Yeah."

" Well, we can have a girls night tomorrow and the day after if you want. But for tonight can we all just keep together. I have comforters and blankets. And the rug in here is pretty nice..."

" Fine, fine...But Jasper and I call the couch!" she shouted.

" Aw man...I'm on the floor? Can I sleep with you two in the bed?"

Edward shook his head " No, sorry man. But you can sleep on the side of the bed if you really want to be in there."

" No thanks. I do not want to hear any of your late night activities."

" We aren't going to have sex with you guys here! We don't even-"

I slapped his chest to stop him from speaking anymore. He stopped talking and looked down at me with a sheepish smile, I kissed his lips sweetly and pulled back before we got carried away infront of our friends.

" Soo. I say we go shopping, any nice malls around here!"

I rolled my eyes " Let's save that for tomorrow. But are you guys hungry?"

" Starved! Oh, Bella, got any of that delicious steak and kidney pie?" Emmett asked.

I looked at him skeptically " How do you know..."

" Oh, I stopped by to say hello to ye ol' chief the other day. Renee made it, and I was nervous about the kidney part, but it was fan-fucking-tastic! She says you make it the best."

" I guess so... I could make it, but I don't know if anybody else likes it."

Alice and Jasper shook their heads vigorously, Jasper making fake gag noises like a child.

" Well, how about I make that, and then maybe I could just cook up some regular steaks for the others."

They all seemed to like that idea so I decided to go with it.

" Alice, why don't we head to the grocery store and leave the guys."

She beamed at me and grabbed her coach bag from the couch. She kissed Jasper quickly on the lips and grabbed my hand, tugging me away from Edward. I grabbed my car keys and bag, shutting the door as she tugged me forward.

I knew I was in for it, even when it was only taking her to the grocery store.

" Adobo? We don't have this in our grocery store."

I laughed " It's really good. Edward puts it on _everything_."

" Speaking of. How are things going with you guys."

" Great." I smiled " Things are going really well. I love him so much I don't know what I would do if things changed."

She stopped walking and looked at me " You love him. Like _love_ him?"

" Alice, I've loved him since I was like sixteen. He knows, I tell him. I told him only to tell me when he feels it, because I don't want him to say it just because I do."

" Yeah, that would be kind of shitty if he was just saying it because you did."

I looked through the steaks, having Alice help me pick them out. Edward, Emmett and I were going to eat the pie, and Alice and Jasper were going to have the steaks. After picking out some nice steaks, I got the ingredients for the steak and kidney pie.

Alice was having fun in her new surroundings, bouncing through aisle's and picking up different things. Soon we were in line, checking everything out and heading back to my apartment after loading the bags into my truck.

" I haven't spoke to Rosalie since the end of July when you guys were there." she said.

I glanced over at her " I'm sorry, Al. I mean you really don't have any girlfriends back home do you?"

She shook her head " No, but we talk on the phone alot. Jeez, Bells, I have no idea what I would do without you."

" Same to you. I mean, I can't talk about Edward to Edward."

Alice giggled " No, and same with Jazz."

When we got to the building, we walked up the steps and I opened the front door. As we jogged up the steps to my apartment door, I could hear some swearing, and I smelt something burning. I opened the door and stepped through, panic wafting through my body by the burning smell.

" Bella, what is that god awful burning smell?" Alice asked, crinkling her nose up in discust

I went into the kitchen and saw the guys huddled up around the oven, smoke was steaming out of it thickly.

" Um, Edward, what were you boys doing?"

" Emmett wanted to make brownies, and after making the mix, I asked him to put it in the oven, and he dumped half of it out of the oven and on the bottom, so since it was already preheated, it started to burn and we are trying to scrap it off because it's starting to smoke and if the fire alarm goes off, the station is immediatly alerted and they come straight here."

" Okay, okay. Well the oven is off, so keep scraping. Here, I'll take the racks out."

I leaned over with an oven mit on my hand, planning to take the three racks out of the oven so it would be easier. Apparently I must have been giving a show because Edward was not appeased by Emmett's antics.

" Emmett!" Edward yelled in a scolding tone " Stop staring at my girls chest for fucks sake."

" Sorry, dude. But it's like...Right there."

I put the racks on the counter and looked at Emmett.

" Since your acting inappropriatly, and this was _your _idea; you can clean up my oven." I stated, handing him a sponge and some easy-off spray for ovens. He grumbled something under his breath and got to working.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist " Only I can look at you like that." he whispered in my ear.

" Of course, love."

He pressed his lips against mine and slowly dragged me down the hall towards my bedroom. I leaned my back against the wall and kissed him languidly. He tilted his head and put a hand on the back of my head, tangling his hand in my hair.

" Alone, finally."

I moaned quietly against his lips in happy agreement. Edward broke the kiss and trailed his lips down my neck, over my collarbone and by my neck again. I felt him suck on my neck right under my ear, also known as: my weak spot that made me putty in his hands. Just one touch sent me melting.

" Edward! Bella!"

He sighed against my neck and pulled away, kissing the tip of my nose gently.

" Were coming!" I answered.

" I love our friends, but I really just wanted it to be us this weekend. I wanted to spoil you." Edward whispered.

" I know. Look, next weekend you have Sunday off, so I will beg Irina or Eleazar to take my hours. We can go out, have fun, eat dinner and just spend time together. I promise, okay?"

" Alright."

" I love you." I said quietly.

" I know." he answered, kissing my lips chastely.

This was going to be one interesting night.

I really was asking for it, getting completely soaked as Edward took the moveable shower head and sprayed me with it, everyone literally on the floor laughing. It all started innocently.

Since the steak and kidney pie didn't need a side, but I had to make something else for Jasper and Alice who were having steaks, I decided to make some pasta. I made the linguine noodles and prepared a light pasta.

We ate and everything seemed to be going great, but Edward saw that there was still a little bit of pasta left in the pot full of water that was now cold. He tossed a noodle at me, so I sprayed him with water as I was cleaning dishes. Then he did it back and I was pissed off.

I grabbed the big pot and jerked it to the side, getting Edward completely soaked with the pot of water and few noodles that had been absently floating around inside on it. Alice gasped loudly and Emmett was basically on the floor laughing.

Suddenly, Edward grabbed me, throwing me over his shoulder and ran to the bathroom. He fought me into the bathtub and turned the freezing cold water on, holding me down as he sprayed me down.

I fought against him, pushing with my hands on his chest. I spit the water in my mouth in his face.

" Get him, Bella!"

I sprayed him right in his face, all of his bronze hair flopped down over his forehead.

" Happy Birthday!" I teased as he grabbed the handle to the shower head.

" I give up, I give up. You are relentless." he growled.

He turned it off and I huffed, looking down at my shirt. Of course I'd picked a nice white shirt, that was kind of lace looking down the middle, my padded blue bra was right there and very visable. Edward's button up was soaked, as were both of our jeans.

Jasper tossed us both a towel and I wrung my hair out. As I was stepping out of the tub, I slipped backwards. Emmett grabbed my arm before I went crashing down, but he dropped it upon feeling it being wet.

" Your all wet!"

" No kidding, captain obvious."

" Come on, my darling." Edward sighed, picking me up in his arms and running for my bedroom.

" Hey! No funny business."

" There's no door to the bedroom, so nobody look!"

I laughed as Edward set me down. He had a few articles of clothing here because he always slept over and need something. I had a pair of his jeans, a few pairs of pajama pants and a few button downs and wife beaters, along with a few pairs of boxers and socks. I tossed him a pair of sleep pants and a wife beater, along with socks and a pair of boxers, and grabbed my clothes, deciding the get into my pajama's, too. But my underwear and bra were totally soaked.

" Um, I am going to the bathroom to change so..."

" You can stay, Bella. I won't stare at you." he assured me lightly.

With a sigh I grabbed the hem of my top, slipping it over my head and letting it hit the ground with a small smack. I shimmied out of my jeans and threw them by my shirt, then used the towel to dry off more. Looking over at Edward just to make sure he wasn't looking, I slipped off my panties and shuffled into another pair, then put a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants on.

When I took my bra off, I turned with my back towards him. I didn't bother to put on another one because I had grabbed a tanktop, which had on built in, even though it wasn't the most supportive. I slipped it over my head and ajdusted it for a moment.

" Done."

" Yeah, just admiring the view."

I turned around and glared at him.

" I didn't see anything, not that I would mind..."

" Hey, your the one that put up the boundries. I would not mind doing more."

" Isabella Marie."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck. " I'm not innocent, Edward. We both know that." I said, kissing his lips.

He threw himself into the kiss, pushing against my body and licking and biting my neck before trailing back up to kiss my lips. His hand grasped the back of my neck and the other gripped my hip tightly.

" Ew, that was gross. And so is that." I heard Alice say, coming into the room wearing a pair of pink pajama pants, a white tanktop and fluffy pink slippers. I released Edward and wrapped my arms around his waist instead.

" What's gross?"

" The thing you said about not being innocent. That's gross, and the talk about 'doing more'."

" Alice! Stop listening."

" Kinda hard not to!"

I rolled my eyes and stepped away from Edward, heading to the kitchen. There was alot of water to soak up so we got to work with the towels. When we finished, I had a basket full of wet towels that I put in the washing machine outside.

Edward and I dug through the small hall closet for some pillows and comforters. Both of us had ditched our old blankets, and I let him store his old two bedding sets in here, along with mine. We handed out the stuff, giving Emmett a few spares so he would be more comfortable on the ground.

Alice made her little couch bed for her and Jasper to sleep on, which was really funny with how neat she was setting it all up.

" Okay, now is time for cake and gifts. Come along now."

We sat on the floor in the living room, sighing at all the gifts that were being shoved in our direction.

Alice, of course, got me some clothes. She got me a gorgeous pair of black leather boots, which were alot better looking then the ones I had now because the heel was getting messed up for the oddest reason. She got me a very pretty cream colored sweater that was v-neck from both her and Jasper. Emmett got me a charm for my bracelet that Rosalie had gotten me, even though we weren't on best terms, I wore it anyways. I thanked him and gave him a hug.

Edward had gotten a little more thought out gifts, because that boy was so damn hard to shop for. My gift for him had been a watch in stainless steel with silver and black dial, black rubber strap and fold-over clasp. It was a damn nice and expensive watch so I hoped that he would like it.

He stood up a left the apartment, saying that he had to leave and get my gift. We waited and waited until he opened the door, holding a box that was probably fifty by thirty or so inchs long. He set it infront of me, a bow ontop of it.

" Happy Birthday."

" Edward!" I whined " Your present always makes mine look like complete shit."

" No it doesn't. I love whatever you give me. Even if it's just a jar of mud."

I handed him his gift and he started ripping it. With a sigh I ripped off the paper to my gift.

A flat screen television, fourty six inch. I gaped at it.

" It's for your bedroom, so you can watch at night in bed. You said awhile ago that you hated falling asleep on the couch when you stayed up to watch a show, then your back hurt. I found a solution. The DirecTv guy is going to come out with a box to install it for you on Sunday."

He opened up his box and smiled widely.

" I think my gift is shit compared to yours. Geez, this must of cost a fortune."

" That doesn't matter. I got it because I knew you would like it, or hoped you would."

" I love it, Bella." he said, clasping it on his wrist.

I leaned up and stole a quick kiss, but he pulled away. " Hold on, I got one more."

I dug into his pocket and a produced a box similar to his, but smaller. It was the Tiffany blue color. I heard Alice say ' Aw, he got her jewelery, too! '. He handed it to me.

When I opened the box, I heard loud gasps. There was a diamond ring, both sapphire and reuglar diamonds in the band. I froze just for a moment before Edward chuckled.

" Before you all have a fucking heart attack, it's not an engagement ring. I think we still have a long way until that one. But it's just a ring to tell you that I am getting closer to loving you, and I am so happy that we are together..."

" Damn that was the sweetest thing!"

I put it on my second to last finger on my right hand, which was basically my wedding ring finger on the opposite hand. Everyone around us scrambled away, probably to give us some privacy. Edward pulled me into his lap and I rested my head on his shoulder, tears streaming down my face.

" I didn't mean to make you cry." he said quietly, winding his arms around my waist.

" They are good tears." I clarified.

" Do you like it?"

" I love it, Edward. Thank you so much."

He lifted my hand up and kissed my knuckles softly. I brushed his damp hair away from his face and resumed our kiss from where it was interrupted before. We stayed in eachother embrace for awhile until we decided to breathe and let the others come back.

" Come on guys, let's have cake!" I shouted.

They all came back into the room and we shuffled into the kitchen.

" I actually made a cake for Edward, so he get's to blow out two cakes." I stated.

Alice laughed and I went to the fridge to retrieve the cake I'd made yesterday night.

" We can blow out this one together." he stated, putting it in the middle of our cakes.

Mine was the same as Edward's, because really we both only liked chocolate or red velvet, which was his favorite. All three of the cakes had twenty candles, one being for good luck. Alice was holding a video camera in her hands, ready to record.

" Okay...GO!"

" Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Edward and Bella! Happy Birthday to you! Make a wish and blow out the candles!"

I'd already gotten my wish, my wish was for Edward. So, I wished for everything to go smooth when it comes to my relationships with family, friends and Edward. I blew out my candles and Edward and I leaned over the middle cake and blew it out together.

They all three clapped and cheered. Emmett put the lights back on and we cut the cake, Edward taking a rather large piece of the red velvet. I cut everyone else a slice of their desired choice, and we took it to the family room because we were going to watch a few movies before bed.

As we were settling down on the floor, I heard a knock on the door. I set my cake down and Alice groaned in annoyance. Edward released me from his hold and I got up to answer whoever was there.

" I hate interruptions."

I went to the door and unlocked the deadbolt and then the lock. When I opened the door, I was truly shocked as to who was behind it.

**Authors Note- I hope you all enjoyed the chapter.**

**Follow me on twitter to get Ambivalence Teasers every Tuesday.**

**Don't forget to check out my new story:**

**Deep Into The Darkness**


	37. Never Ending

**Authors Note- Happy Friday.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

_Previously on Ambivalence;_

_I went to the door and unlocked the deadbolt and then the lock. When I opened the door, I was truly shocked as to who was behind it._

BPOV

Standing infront of me, looking very nervous and wary, was Rosalie. She had a bag over her shoulder and I was fully expecting her to have Tanya along with her, but it was just her, and her things.

I heard them standing up behind me, and Emmett say her name in complete shock.

" I know it's probably very wrong of me to be here, but I uh... I asked Edward's parents for your apartment address since your parents wouldn't give it to me. I really wanted to wish you both a Happy Birthday and tell you both that I am sorry. Alice was right, I don't have any friends because I lost the best ones I had. None of you guys, including Emmett deserved the way I acted."

I stepped back and motioned for her to come in. Edward grabbed my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye.

" Your letting her come in. She just said sorry, is that really enough?" he asked, searching my eyes.

I looked away from him and towards Rosalie. " Make yourself at home. Will you guys excuse us a moment."

Edward and I headed into my bedroom and I took a seat on my bed.

" Bella, tell me what the hell your thinking."

" I told myself that I would wait until she came to me, us, and she did. Look, I won't be best friends with her, because everything that happened to me was a mess. It will take awhile for me to trust her, but I have to let her try. We can just start out slow, and I won't send her home after being on a plane for like two and a half hours."

He sighed " If she messes with you. I swear to god she is going straight back to Chicago."

" Come on, let's go."

We walked back into the living room. Alice was glaring at Rosalie, who was in Emmett's embrace. I motioned for her to cut it out and she huffed, leaning back against Jasper's side.

" Come sit with us!" Alice said, reaching out to take my hand.

Edward sat on the opposite side of Alice and Jasper, and I sat next to him, curling my legs underneath me with my head resting on his shoulder as his arm draped over my waist. Alice grabbed the remote for the dvd player and cleared her throat.

" We are watching Juno, since I got it on DVD."

" I really want some orange tic tacs."

" I think I might buy you a pair of golden shorts." I said to Edward.

He scoffed " Yeah, like I would ever wear a pair of shorts that showed my thighs."

" You'd do it for me wouldn't you?"

Edward shook his head and Jasper laughed " I don't think Edward could pull off golden shorts."

" I really don't think he could either, I mean, maybe if he shaved and used a little lotion."

Everyone laughed " Yeah, no." Edward said.

" Just a thought, love."

" So, how has nursing school been, Rosalie?" I asked.

She looked up at me " Fine, it's fine."

" How's your _best friend_?" Alice asked bitterly.

I looked at her " Alice, cut it out."

" What, Bella? I'm just asking a question."

" I don't know, Alice. She isn't around anymore."

" Oh, really." Alice scoffed " Thats bullshit."

I shook my head and looked down.

Rosalie glared at Alice " I'm not lying. Ask Emmett."

" He's your boyfriend, of course he will cover your sorry ass, and I-"

" Shut the fuck up! Bella and I would like a decent Birthday, and Alice, if you want to bitch about your issues with Rosalie, do it on your own time. I don't want to talk about my ex-girlfriend because I don't give a flying fuck about her, and I really don't think Bella wants to hear about it."

Alice backed into the couch and was quiet " Sorry, everyone."

I stood up, pushing Edward's arms off and walked down the hall to my bedroom.

" Bella!" he said from behind me.

" No, Edward. Just let me be, I want to be alone."

I heard his footsteps stop and I walked into my room, wishing that I had a door and a lock. I pushed my sheets back and got into bed.

Today I'd really wished to just have a nice time with Edward, a romantic evening with dinner and exchanging presents. I loved my friends, and even the one that showed up unexpectedly, but I didn't like the drama. I didn't like any of it.

I just wanted a nice Birthday with none of it, but of course someone opens their mouth and has to talk about something that should of just been ignored for the day. I buried my face in the pillow and took a deep breath.

I could hear them talking, or more like arguing. Edward was talking to them, anger very obvious in his tone of voice.

" Well, I hope you happy that you got that off your chest, Alice because now she is probably very upset. She didn't even want me with her."

" Edward, I'm sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets the best of me."

" Then you'd better control your words. You'd also better apologize to her tomorrow."

She sighed " I'll go talk to her now."

" No, Alice. Not tonight. Look, I'm going to bed. Sleep well all."

He couldn't even stay away for five minutes. I heard him come into the room, and felt him get into the bed as it sank. Edward scooted closer to me and wrapped me up in his arms without saying anything. He kissed the top of my head and I relaxed against him, letting myself fall into a deep sleep.

I awoke to loud bickering.

Very loud bickering.

They were arguing about the shower, and who was to take one first. Alice wanted to, but Emmett said he needed one. Jasper argued that Alice and Rosalie would take forever, so he should go first and then Emmett. I groaned at the sound, humming into Edward's neck.

" GUYS!" Edward yelled.

I cringed.

All of them shuffled around the opening into my bedroom. I placed a kiss on Edward's chest as his fingers combed through my curled hair.

" Ew... Edward shirtless."

" I will put the shower line in order since Bella and I like quiet. Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice."

Alice gasped loudly, and Edward kissed the top of my head sweetly. I heard her stomping her foot on the ground dramatically, and I internally rolled my eyes at her antics.

" But, Edward!"

" I can change it and put Bella and I before you Alice."

" Okay, okay. Fine...But why did you want to put you two first anyways?"

He sighed " Bella and I shower together, and take a rather long time. So I figured I would do you all a favor."

" Oh my god, I think I just threw up a little."

I slapped Edward's chest lightly. " Shut up and stop lying."

He chuckled and grabbed my hand, placing a kiss ontop of it " Okay, so maybe I am lying, but we would like some alone time."

" We would?" I asked

" Yes, we would. Since our friends crashed our party yesterday."

They snickered and walked out of the room, the bathroom door closing a few seconds later.

" Your just full of sexual comments today aren't you." I whispered as he kissed up and down my neck.

Alice POV

Rosalie looked over towards the bedroom bitterly as I riffled through Bella's fridge to make breakfast. After my outburst last night I really felt bad. I love Edward and Bella and I knew that arguing with Rosalie was stupid, but I just let my feelings get the better of me.

" Are they always like that?"

" It's cute." I commented lightly. " They are adorable together."

I could see her wince.

" I know it's hard for you, Rosie. But they really love eachother and Bells seems really happy for once. I've never seen her so happy, even when her and Edward were really close best friends." Emmett assured.

She glared at the floor " Has anybody thought about how Tanya feels?"

" She broke up with him. And she cheated on him when Edward was in total love with her... Hold up a second."

Emmett and I looked at eachother in thought, obviously thinking the same thing.

" Rosalie, did you know Tanya was cheating on him?"

She was quiet, and the look on her face said a few things.

" YOU KNEW?"

EPOV

" YOU KNEW?" I heard Emmett yell loudly.

I groaned in frusteration into Bella's mouth and pulled away. Her tiny hands twisted in my hair and I gently pushed her away as she frowned.

" Lets please ignore them."

My hand ran down her hip and kissed her neck. " I wish. They just dont shut the fuck up."

" How long? Before he told her?"

" What now." Bella said, pulling her shirt down over her exposed stomach.

We stood up from the bed and walked into the kitchen. Alice was staring at Rose with complete murderous eyes. Emmett looked shocked as he stood and looked at his girlfriend, who was currently looking at the floor.

" Knew what?" I asked.

They all looked at me.

" Nothing, Edward." Rosalie said.

" Tell him." Emmett said.

She glanced up, looking at him with her blue eyes " Em..."

" Tell him." he repeated.

The room was quiet for a moment before Rosalie looked over at me.

" I knew that Tanya was cheating on you, before you said that you loved her." she whispered.

Oh fuck.

Shit was going down.

BPOV

I was pissed that they had to ruin my morning party with Edward, but the words that came out of Rosalie's mouth really made me wish that this wasn't happening right now.

My eyes widened at her statement.

Rosalie could of been the one to stop Edward for falling so deep and getting hurt.

" You didn't look out for him? You just let him be completely crushed?" I screamed.

Oh, I was pissed. Pissed for Edward.

" Get out."

" Edward, I-" she started

" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE."

" Edward."

" You better get the fuck out of here right now."

I reached for his arm but he shook it off roughly. He grabbed his car keys from the counter and ran out of the apartment like a bat out of hell, not even bothering with a shirt. The door slammed shut and it was as dead silent as a graveyard.

" He was hurt so badly and you could of prevented it all if you told him from the beginning."

" Bella, I didn't mean it. She is my best friend, I couldn't tell."

" What about, Edward? Huh? If I found out that say...Jasper was cheating on Alice, the moment I knew I would go straight to her because even though I love Jasper like a friend, I still have another friend to worry about. Another friends feelings, and while it may hurt the person being cheated on...I bet it wouldn't of hurt so much if the person wasn't already in love."

She stayed quiet.

" I think it would be best if you left. Your not really all the welcome here anymore."

" I-"

" No." I interrupted " You hurt the person that means more to me then anything in the world. Now he's been hurt twice. Betrayed by someone he was so in love with, and a really good friend that he trusted to have his back. You know what, just fuck it, I am done with this shit with you."

She walked over to her bag and started shoving things into it, while calling the airport for a flight.

" We can take care of things around here, Bella. Go to Edward."

" He's probably really hurt right now. I'm just going to give him an hour or two to cool down a bit. I know how he is. Let's just clean up in here."

" If you want us to leave, too. I understand."

" No, it's fine."

I went back into the bedroom and made my bed, picking up the discarded and still slightly damp clothes. I tossed them in the basket carelessly and headed outside of the apartment. Angela was standing outside, looking like she was caught doing something.

" Heard that?" I asked.

" I didn't mean to...Is your boyfriend okay, he seemed very angry?"

" No...Life just sucks right now."

" I'm not using the wash machine, so feel free."

I put the first load in and put some softer and detergent in the slots. I started it up and set my basket ontop of it. When I got back into the apartment, Alice was folding up a blanket with Jasper helping her.

Emmett, who was now dressed, picked up Rosalie's bag and gave me a sad smile. He pulled me aside a moment and looked at me

" I'm heading out with her. But I'll see you around, Bells. Tell Edward that I'm sorry for everything." he said quietly, giving me a hug.

" Sure thing. Be safe."

They headed out, Rosalie being quiet the whole entire time. I shut the door behind me and looked at Alice.

" Would you mind of I showered?"

" No, go ahead."

I showered quickly and dressed just as quickly, eager to go see Edward. I tossed on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. Before stepping out of my bedroom I slipped on my converse, also throwing my hair up as I headed into the living room.

Alice and Jasper were lounging on the couch, watching television.

" Hey, I'm going to stop by Edward's. Maybe see if he will come back or something."

" Okay, take your time."

I was really wondering what condition I would find him in. I knew he had no access to beer anywhere, but he could still be livid like the time I found him when Tanya gave him that stupid note.

The fact that Rosalie had kept something so big from Edward was appauling. Even the fact that she never told him at any time was shockin. Rosalie might be a bitch, but once she is your friend, she is there with that person one hundred percent. We all thought even thought that no matter what she always would, like we always had eachother back. Of course after what she did to me and the whole breakup, she had changed and morphed into another Tanya.

I really could only imagine the pain and betrayal that Edward was going through right now. After getting off of the highway I drove towards Edward's complex. When I arrived there, I jogged up the steps and down the hall.

Before getting my key, I stopped and listened. There was absolutely no noise, just silence on the other side. Digging into my bag, I grabbed the key and jammed it into the lock.

When I entered the apartment, it was dark. Pitch black.

All of the curtains were pulled around the room, not a stream of light. I shut the door and made my way towards the bedroom. I bumped into a few things along the way until I came to his bedroom door. I opened it slowly.

There was one curtain open.

Edward was sitting in a chair, the window open and was smoking a cigarette. I closed the door quietly and walked up towards him. I walked around the chair until I was infront of him. He glanced at me once before looking back out the window. I knelt infront of him and sighed.

" Can I borrow that?" I asked.

He handed me the cigarette and I took one puff before giving it back. I blew it out in the direction of the window and lifted my hands to rest on his knee's.

" I'm sorry, Edward."

" It's not your fault...I'm sorry I yelled. It scared you."

" No, it di-"

" You jumped about a foot in the air. It scared you."

I leaned forward. " Whatever, that doesn't matter. Rosalie left, and Emmett went with her."

" Why didn't she have my back? We have always been there for eachother, all of us. Why was this different? She could of prevented all of it, but she didn't."

" I don't know, Edward. I really don't. I told her that I was done with all her shit."

Edward held out his hand " Come here."

I stood up and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder.

" I feel betrayed..."

He took another puff of the cigarette and kissed my forehead.

" You smell like an ash tray."

" You love me anyways." he stated, putting his cigarette in the glass ash tray that was sitting on the end table by his bed.

" Well...Alice and Jasper are back at the apartment, so what do you want to do."

He sighed " How about you call Jasper, have him get a taxi over here and you and Alice can have a girls night at your place."

" You sure?"

" I'll miss the fuck out of you, but yeah."

I called Jasper and he was all for the idea. I bid Edward a goodbye and headed over to my apartment. If Alice was left alone for too long who knows what would happen. When I arrived to the building I went up both flights of stairs, unlocking both doors.

When I got in Alice had completely transformed the floor into a nail polish land. She threw a blanket over the couch, had many different nail polish colors, and nail polish pens on a flat surface on the ground. She had the dvd player ready and was smiling.

" Girl time is needed. So pop a squat and lets get to painting, I've got a movie ready."

We sat down on the ground together and she handed me her color nail polish, handing me her perfectly non-colored nails. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bright pink nail polish. I polished them perfectly, not getting one little drop on her skin. Once I finished, I put a base coat over it.

When her nails were dry, I let her paint mine blue. Using a navy nail polish pen, she did little dots scattered on the nail. I did the same with her's, using a purple pen as she asked.

Next we did our feet, using the color of the dots for our base color, and then using the base of our nail color as the dots. We talked about school and other things, ignoring the topic of what went on this morning.

" So, I think Jasper is going to propose soon."

" What? Alice, your not even nineteen yet."

" So! We love eachother..."

I sighed " Alice, I know that. But don't you still want to hold off until your atleast twenty?"

"Bella, if Edward went up to you tomorrow and asked you to marry him, what would you say?"

" No." I answered truthfully " If he loved me then I would, but I would atleast wait to get actually hitched."

" Whatever, never mind."

" Alice. I am not trying to discourage you."

" I know, Izzy."

I cracked a smile and grabbed a handful of popcorn, I tossed a piece at her and she laughed, tossing it back.

" Looks like they had a fun night."

" Why did we get up a six thirty to drive over here?"

" I don't know! It was your idea."

" Whatever, Edward."

I felt myself being lifted up from the ground and soon placed on a soft surface. Bed.

" Go back to sleep, beloved."

I had must of been completely and utterly exhausted, because I awoke again at one thirty in the afternoon. Edward said he'd woken me up because Alice and Jasper got a flight out earlier so that we could have the rest of the weekend together, but I had said a sleepy goodbye and went straight back to sleep.

" So, when are you going to get up. Because tonight we are going out to dinner, and then we are going back to my place for some dessert and fun."

" Oooh, are we going to play twister."

" No."

" Scrabble."

" No."

" Oh! I got it; Monopoly."

" No, Isabella. I am going to feed you dessert and then we are going to my bedroom to put on a movie, and not watch it."

" Bu-"

" No, buts."

" Is 'no' the only word you know how to say."

" NO!"

" It totally is."

" It's not."

" Whatever."

He poked my side " Find your best dress because I am taking you somewhere fancy."

" Edward, please no. How about we just go to Panera."

" Seriously? I am not that cheap."

" Well, I am not wearing a dress. Maybe a skirt, but it's too cold and all my dresses are strapless."

Edward kissed my forehead " Okay, beloved."

I'd dressed in a black pencil skirt and a sweater/cardigan top that was shorter sleeved and had a small black bow in the from. I had on a pair of cream colored pumps that matched the top and had on a pair of pany hose to keep my legs somewhat warm. They weren't dark, just made my look like they had a little bit of a glow.

Edward had headed back to his apartment to get ready, and I was eager to see what he had planned for us tonight. I did my hair, putting it in thick curls. I pinned alot of it up, but left a few strands down to frame my face, and used some smokey makeup for my eyes. I put on a little bit of cherry chapstick and spritzed some perfume on.

I rolled my eyes when he knocked on my door.

Slowly I walked to the apartment door and opened it.

I was so damn lucky to have such a sexy boyfriend.

Edward was wearing a pair of dark and medium-ish wash pants, a white button down with his black leateher jacket with a skinny, grey and black striped tie. In his hands he was holding a bouquet of flowers. His eyes were scanning over my body, and I felt a red blush sweep over my cheeks.

" These are for you." he said, handing me the bouquet.

" Thank you, Edward. Here, let me get a vase and we can head off."

I had one under the sink, it was glass and square. I filled it with water and put the roses in. For the oddest reason I had butterflies. But this was actually our first official date really. I mean, we went out for lunch every once in awhile, but this was actually planned for a special occasion, or special occasion's.

When we got outside the door, I locked it up. Edward put his arm around my waist.

" You look absolutely beautiful tonight. I don't think I will be able to keep my hands off of you."

" Ha. Okay."

" We are taking the motorcycle." he stated as we got down the steps outside.

We got into the garage and he grabbed his key from the pocket. He rolled it out onto the driveway before stopping so we could get the helmets on. I fastened mine on gently and slid behind him, wrapping my arms around him and putting my feet up on the pegs. I was careful where to put the heel.

" All set."

" Yup."

And we were off.

" Gramercy Tavern. It was rated a four point five out of five."

I handed him my helmet and he smiled at me. We walked in hand in hand. The setting inside was very romantic and dim lit with candles on the tables. Edward gave the reservation name and we were let to a table. It was high up on stools, luckily the stools had a back to them. I set my bag down and slipped off my jacket.

" Edward..."

" Don't start now, beloved. I wanted to take you somewhere special after the disaster Birthday with friends."

I got a sweet iced tea and Edward got a water.

" Can I have this whole menu, please?"

" Whatever you wish. Actually, I can get you just a taste of everything."

He reached over the table to grasp my hand was was laying on it, entwining our fingers together. I looked at him over my menu and gave him a small smile. When our waitress came I decided on a medium cooked New York Strip Steak with a side of ziti pasta with parmesan cheese and tomatoes. Edward chattered out his order and she took the menu's.

" How are you classes been going?" I asked.

" Great...I mean, I'll have to go to three years of law school after this, but it's exciting. I just want to be able to spend as much time with you before all of the homework piles up."

I smiled " I'm glad that you feel that way."

" Well, of course I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Who wouldn't."

" Don't flatter me."

He leaned forward " Why not?"

I coughed " Just saying."

" Bella, I like to flatter you and give you compliments. And give you gifts. Why don't you like that?"

I sighed " I don't know...Edward, I appreciate it but really, speak realistic."

" Fine. You are the most beautiful creature that I have ever laid eyes on."

My cheeks burned red " See!"

" It's true, Bella. Just look in the mirror and stare for a moment."

After about ten minutes our food was delivered and I was eagerly cutting through the steak. Once it was cut, I speared a piece into my mouth.

Now this was a good steak.

" Fuckkk, that's good steak."

Edward chuckled " Here, try this."

He had a lobster on it's plate, along with a little thing of warm melted butter, with a small six ounce steak and a baked and loaded potato. He forked a piece of the lobster and dipped it in the butter, reaching over to feed it to me.

I moaned biting into it. " That's amazing."

We ate our dinner, sharing quiet conversation throughout the meal. I ate every little bit of the steak that I had, and scarfed down the delicious pasta. I shared a little bit with Edward, as he did with me and the waitress came back, taking our plates.

" Would dessert be desired tonight?"

" No thank you, just the check please."

I slid my jacket on and left it unzipped. Edward put his on, buttoning all of the buttons up. He took out his wallet and tossed a tip on the table, tucking a few twenties into the receipt book. Edward grasped my hand in his and walked us towards the exit.

" How much was it?"

" Not telling. Now, lets go back to my apartment, I have dessert to serve."

**Authors Note- Rest of the night finished next chapter...Review if you'd like.**


	38. Heart vs Body

**Authors Note- I am going over and over in my head why people think Bella is ungrateful! Why does everyone say that about all of my Bella's! I mean, this one just doesn't like accepting gifts, she appreciates them, but she hates fuss! PLEASE UNDERSTAND! I don't want her to be a bitch, she isn't! Oh my...**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

Edward reached one long arm in the fridge, and took out a strawberry and blueberry mixture, I squealed, knowing exactly what it was. He took out an icecream carton and opened it. He took out two bowls from the cabinet and set them on the counter.

The dessert was one that Esme had created awhile back. It was freshly squeezed juice from a lemon and orange, with blueberries and strawberries and a bit of sugar. It gets cooked on the stove for a few minutes until the fruit is soft. The icecream is softened up and you zest a lemon in it, stir it up and then put it back evenly in the carton to freeze again to have a better consistency.

He scooped three perfect scoops of icecream into the bowls and poured the berries over it. The helpings were equal as he put it together. The first bowl slid over to me, and he put the icecream away, grabbing something out of the fridge.

A can of Reddi Whip.

He shook it up and basically covered the whole top with the white cream.

" Whoa! Edward that's enough." I exclaimed, pushing his hand towards his own bowl.

" I think we could have some fun with this later."

" Maybe if your lucky."

We went into the living room and ate our dessert together. The television was flipped onto a channel that I wasn't exactly paying much attention to at the moment.. Edward spooned a berry, slathered it in the whipped cream and put it in his mouth, chewing slowly. I was staring at how he ate, because even the way he was eating was sexy.

" Bella!" he said loudly, snapping his fingers infront of my face.

" Sorry." I said, abruptly breaking out of my trance.

" It's fine, are you okay?"

I nodded and set my bowl down on the coffeetable. Edward hopped off the couch just then, taking both of our bowls with him on the way to the kitchen. He returned a few moments later with the can of whipped cream in his hand, and excited smile on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and he took a seat next to me.

" No, Edward. I am not going to play with the whip cream."

" Open."

" Edward..."

" Please." he begged.

I groaned and opened my mouth, bending my head back. He squirted it in my mouth, filling it up to the brink, basically making it impossible to close my mouth. I looked over at his smiling face and laughed with a mouthful of the whipped cream. Edward squirted some into his mouth and I gulped mine down, the sweet cream melting in my mouth.

" Come along, beloved."

He stood up, taking me with him and backed me towards his bedroom. Of course, he knew better then to make me walk backwards. It would only end in disaster and I probably should have turned around.

Unexpectedly, my heel hit the end of the couch and I went barelling to the ground. Edward, who'd been leaning into me at the time, fell right onto me as I hit backwards on the hardwood floor, right where the crack in my skull had been.

" Oh my god. Bella, babe. Fuck! Are you breathing?"

What I found out then, was that once being hit badly on a certain part of the head, hurt like a bitch when you hit it once again, no matter if it was just a little bump or a loud, painful smack on the ground.

" I'm okay. Fuck... I'm lying. That hurt like a bitch."

Edward lifted me off the floor and carried me to his bedroom, setting me down on the bed. I just killed the mood. I chopped it up, stomped on it and put it into a shredder with explosives. Quickly, I sat up and slipped my heels off. I took the pins out of my hair, and it went flooding down my back. I ran my fingers through my hair, wincing just slightly when my hand brushed over where I smacked my head.

" Do you feel better?" I nodded " Okay, you really suck at lying. I'm going to go get you some tylenol and water. I'll be right back."

He pecked my lips and disappeared into the bathroom. I heard shuffling around for a moment before Edward came back a moment later, handing me two white and oval pills. I gulped them down with the water and set it down.

" I'm sorry, you took me in here for a reason."

Edward sat down on the bed and flipped on the television. He laid back against the headboard and drew me with him, wrapping his arms around my waist. His hand came up to my chin, tilting my face up to his.

" Sorry I ruined our night."

" You didn't, beloved." he whispered, leaning down to gently kiss my lips.

I brought my hand up to curl my fingers around his jaw and he did the same. I scooted up and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying our closed-mouth kiss. The room was feeling a little bit too warm, even more with the covers over our legs.

Slowly I pulled away. Edward looked at me, confusion covering his face.

" It's really warm in here, I just want to take the blouse off." I explained.

I untied the bow and unbuttoned the buttons. I had on a cream colored tanktop underneath it that matched the sweater/cardigan. Edward helped me slip it off and tossed it on the floor. I reached for the buttons on his shirt, slipping them through the holes. He slipped the sleeves off and now he was only left in his jeans and socks. I laid back in his embrace and relished in feeling of his skin against mine.

" Can I have another Birthday present?"

" What?"

" Kiss me."

He smiled crookedly and kissed me softly. His hands ran over my sides, caressing my skin with his soft hands and long, slim fingers. I rested my right hand on his shoulder and leaned into him, sighing in his mouth.

" Bella," he whispered

" What?"

Edward fiddled with the hem of my tanktop and I now knew what he wanted me to do, and it didn't bother me. I was wearing a black push up underneath, and it wasn't that big of a deal. I felt comfortable in Edward's presence.

His nose nudged against mine " I won't stare, I just want to hold you."

I brought my hands to the hem of the tanktop and lifted it over my head. I'd never really felt self conscious around Edward, even if I was laying almost half bare next to him. I tossed the tanktop over to wear my other top was. Edward looked at my chest a moment before looking at me.

The gold blanket on his bed was right there, so I tucked it against my chest. My hair was all ruffled and probably a mess. He looked at me before plucking the blanket away and pulling my chest tightly against his, resting his forehead against mine.

My eyes lazily shut on their own and I shifted my legs around until they were comfortably placed between his, but damn, those panty hose was not feeling great at the moment. I took my hands from Edward and unzipped the side of my skirt a few inchs.

" What are you doing?"

" These fucking panty hose are not feeling great, and I don't think your too comfortable in those damn jeans are you?"

He shook his head.

" Well, aslong as someone didn't go commando, take 'em off."

I pulled at the fabric, tugging it down my legs and over my feet. I knee'd Edward once on his thigh, and immediatly apologized for that one. Once they were off, I tossed them on the floor with my growing pile of clothes. Now, I could most definately not sleep in a fucking skirt either. I should of brought a bag of clothes...

" Edward." I asked sweetly just after he tossed his jeans off.

" Yes?"

" Can you give me a pair of your boxers, please?"

He chuckled " Of course. I don't really expect you to sleep in a skirt."

Edward quickly slipped out of bed and shuffled through his drawers. He tossed me a pair of black, satin boxers, similar to the ones he was wearing right now. I looked at them curiously, not really thinking they would be that comfortable, maybe they would be. They looked rather expensive.

" Uh, love? Do you have any others."

" Nope, all the same. But I have a pair in blue if you'd like." he said, motioning to his boxers and picking up a pair of the same from the drawer. " They're comfortable, I promise."

I shrugged and unzipped my skirt and tossed it at him, he put it in the pile and I bent down, slipping the boxers on. Edward was blankly staring at my chest, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks.

" You said you wouldn't stare." I mumbled quietly.

" I am a man, Izzy B."

He crawled into bed as I covered myself with the comforter. The television was quite loud and I ran my hands over the bed, looking for the remote. Edward must of knew what I was doing because he turned it off and wrapped me in his arms.

" Thank you for a wonderful day."

" No problem, beloved. It makes me happy to see you happy."

I placed a kiss in the center of his chest and snuggled against him.

Waking up having Edward wrapping me in his arms was absolutely something amazing. My arms were wrapped around his waist, and his arms we wormed under mine and resting against my upper bare back, fingers splayed out over my tattoo.

The sun was shining in though the window, shining down on our entwined bodies. I like having his arms around me. I want to lay in them all day; for the rest of my life. His skin was so warm and even soft despite the abs and strong muscles. I felt safe in his embrace. Very at home.

Suddenly I heard Marilyn Manson's Death blasting from Edward's phone. I quickly reached over and grabbed it as I felt him stir beside me. I didn't want him to wake yet. I pressed the green answer button and put it to my ear.

" Hello." I whispered.

" Bella?"

Why hello Esme.

" Hi, Esme. How are you?"

" Good. I expected my son to answer his phone."

I cleared my throat " He's actually sleeping right now. I'll make sure to tell him you called."

" Thanks, darling. Have a nice Sunday."

" You, too. Tell Carlisle I said hello."

" No problem. Goodbye, Bella."

" Bye."

I clicked end and tossed his phone on the table on the side of his bed. I looked up at Edward and saw his green orbs peeking down at me, my lips curled up just the slighest.

" Who's that?"

" Esme. I told her you'd call her back."

He nodded and leaned down, his lips gently pressing against my neck. I stretched my legs, flexing my thigh muscles. Edward pressed his lips more firmly to my neck and tightened his arms around me. I brought my arms up to wind around his waist, pulling his chest closer to mine as he continuted to kiss my neck. It felt amazing; having his lips on me. It was as intense as a growing flame.

His left hand reached up to grip the back of my neck, pushing against it gently so that my neck was bent back. Slowly I felt myself getting carried away and lost in the feeling. I squirmed underneath him.

" Edward," I breathed.

" Hmm?"

" Were getting carried away."

" And..."

" Yeah, and soon it's going to be more and more until were carried away with eachother. You said you wanted to wait, I'm just so confused." I said gently.

With a frusterated sigh he pulled away. I reached down and grabbed my tanktop, quickly slipping it on as I stumbled out of the bed. I could see in his eyes that he was angry, but hell, if he didn't want to put a 'no sex' embargo on us, they he shouldn't of even said anything about it from the beginning.

" What, so now your leaving?" he said in a angry tone.

I ran a hand through my messy hair " No, Edward... But you know what? Stop being such a jackass. You decided from the beginning that you didn't want to level up that far basically until you love me. Well, according to my calculations, you haven't said it yet. So don't be getting pissy at me because all of this is over your head. I'm so confused, you act like you want more, but when we talk about it; you dont."

He opened his mouth.

" No, I'm not done. You think that it's easy to pull away from you? I am always the one to stop it because I know that maybe you would regret it in the end. I love you Edward, more then anything. When you feel the same, then maybe we can consider being that way together. Right now, let's just hold it back."

Now I wanted to leave.

Then I remembered. Edward drove us on the motorcycle and his Volvo was parked by my apartment. Taxi it is. I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. I kicked his boxers off of me and zipped up my skirt, buttoning up the buttons on my cardigan and tying the bow. I tossed my hair in a pony tail and grabbed my panty hose.

When I walked out of the room Edward was gone. I went into the living room to see him pacing with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, a pair of loose jeans hanging from his hips.

" How are you getting back?" he asked with a smirk.

" New York has a great taxi service."

He sighed, " Bella, please don't be like this."

" Your not allowed to tell me what to act like." I snapped

" Retract the damn claws, kitten." he mumbled under his breath.

I didn't even bother with a remark

I grabbed my phone that was laying on the kitchen counter and dialed the taxi service that I used from time to time. I gave them the street address and grabbed my bag, shoving my phone and panty hose inside of it, zipping it shut tightly. I went into the living room and grabbed my shoes, slipping them on as I walked towards the enterance.

Quickly I slammed the door shut behind me and walked down the stairs as fast as I could in heels. Once I got out of the building I took a deep breath of the cool air. About ten minutes later a cab pulled up, an elderly lady driving it.

" Where to, dear?"

I gave her my address and she hopped on the highway. I let out a sigh of relief when I got to my building. I handed her the money and thanked her. When I got into the apartment I grabbed the keys to the Volvo. I tossed them on the floor angrily and went to sit on the couch.

Now I was crying.

" Fuck, Swan. Get yourself together." I mumbled, tossing my heels on the floor as I headed towards the kitchen.

I had a massive headache, probably because I hadn't gotten my morning dose of coffee this morning. Edward had already come by, I heard him picking up the keys and he slipped a note by the door. He didn't even make a move towards my bedroom.

When I drank my cup of coffee, I started to feel a little bit better. I polished off a whole entire pot myself, used the washroom and then took a long and hot bath. My head rested against the end of the tub and I kept quiet to myself.

I didn't want to be angry at Edward, but he was so frusterating at times that it just got me so worked up. He truly had no reason to complain when this was all on him. His choice. His decision. Of course I will admit I didn't reject the offer, but even if I did, it's not like I could have told him that he had to have sex with me. I wasn't about to start acting like Tanya.

I knew what I was getting into when Edward and I decided for us to try out a relationship. I've seen Edward in many different angles. From drunk to happy. Sad to pissed off. Quiet to chattering away. And I love that he had flaws, but when he gets pissed off at me, well thats a whole different story rather to when he is pissed off at someone else. Either way, I got the short end because Edward always takes things out on people, preferably me.

He's gotten angry pissed, drunk pissed and confused pissed. All directed at me. I loved him to death, but sometimes it really made me upset because I don't like to fight, especially with people that I love and care about.

I just got so confused this morning. His body wants more, but his brain says otherwise. I wouldn't want to actually do the deed, only for him to resent himself afterwards. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us, and I didn't want him to have reason to regret things in our relationship.

Edward already had psycho girlfriend, and I hoped he didn't think the same of me after this morning. I reached my hands up and played with the white bubbles. My hands rested on my stomach finally and I sighed.

It had really been a weekend to remember, that's for damn sure.

I soaked in the warm water until my hands were like an old ladies. When I got out I dried off and combed out my wet hair, blowing it dry before going into my bedroom to change into comfortable pajama's.

When I got into the living room, I sat down on the couch to watch television.

The silence was deafening and the little note was just begging for me to look at it. I padded to the door and grabbed it, when I sat down on the couch I unfolded it.

_I'm sorry._

Two words. That was it. I set it down on the end table and sighed, laying on my side on the couch. I draped a blanket over my body and shut my eyes tightly, wanting to just forget the day and drift off to peace.

I really shouldn't of doubted the fact that Edward would come by and take advantage of the key he had. Right now, I didn't even want to talk to him right now, because I was afraid he was still angry.

The deadbolt wasn't locked. It really was too simple. I'd been laying on the couch, it must of been around midnight because it was pitch black outside and I knew I hadn't gotten that much sleep. He was sitting on the floor infront of me, playing with a string on the blanket that covered me.

When I opened my eyes to ackowledge him, he looked at me with sad eyes.

" I don't know why I keep acting like a jackass about the subject. Your totally right about everything, and I'm saying it because it's the truth. I put the restrictions on, and my anger is misdirected at the wrong person. I do want to wait until I am completely in love with you, beloved, but sometimes other parts of me are hard to control once I get going."

He paused for a moment.

" I'm sorry, sweetheart." Edward whispered.

" You really made me upset. I just...You have to understand how confusing it is for me." I whispered.

" I know that, and the way that I acted was really no excuse to being frusterated. Bella, your not only my partner, but your my best friend and I never meant to hurt you purposely. I never do. I knew that getting into this would be a journey, and I won't act like that through it all. If I were you, I'd probably be confused, too."

" I'm sorry for yelling at you, and swearing."

" It's okay."

I sat up and held my arms out for a hug, he sat up on his knees and placed his arms around me. I kissed the side of his head and he bent back to kiss my forehead.

" I can't stand being away from you for even an hour. It took all that I was not to walk into your bedroom."

" I am not very good at keeping you away."

" Good. Now, I need to head back so I am taking you to bed."

He lifted me up in his arms and walked towards the bedroom. His lips pressed against the top of my head, and I snuggled against his chest. Edward gently set me on the bed once we reached the bedroom, covering me in the flurry of blankets on my bed. After placing a delicate kiss on my forehead he sighed.

" I'll see you later this week, beloved."

" I love you." I murmured

" I know. Sleep well."

**Authors Note- Short, but I needed to fill this in before I get into the next chapter.**

**I hope everyone can see how confused Bella really is, I mean, Edward...damn. Make a decision, because it looks like his body and his brain are fighting against his hearts choice.**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter besides the short length.**

**Review if you'd like.**


	39. Accidents Happen

**Authors Note- *****READ END NOTES*******

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

Time seemed to fly by quickly and Edward and I found ourselfs back in Chicago for Christmas. We somehow got from the twenty third to the sixth off of work. Both of us pulled some strings so we could see our family, and luckily everything worked out. It was all about trying to do late double shifts and work whenever we had free time, even if it meant sacrificing to see eachother on Friday's and weekends.

I was really happy to be home, even though my room was empty for the most part. I still had my bed things set up in there, my pillows still taking up residence. Sleeping in here brought me so many memories.

Late movie nights with Edward.

Doing homework with Edward.

Watching Bears games with Edward.

Laying in bed with Edward.

Sleeping with Edward.

They all had him in it, I really can't remember one childhood memory that did not have that boy in it. He was always there, in every single memory that I will carry for the rest of my whole entire life. I would cherish them forever, and never take it for granted.

I enjoyed the amount of time that I spent with my family, I'd missed them. Even my nosy mom and overly protective dad.

On Christmas Eve we went out to dinner downtown at a restaurant of our parents choice. We ate lobster, steaks and salads. It was a nice part of our gift if I do say so myself. Edward feeding me forkful's of lobster was fun.

Today it was Christmas day, and us girls were going to be making a nice big dinner to feast on tonight. I was excited to do some real cooking, I've been eating takeout and ramen noodles lately

I awoke because Edward was childishly jumping on my bed, which was just like old times. I hit him with my pillow, smacking him until he stopped jumping around like a five year old. He pinned me to the bed and kissed my lips chastely.

" When will you man up and give me some tongue?" I teased

He stuck his tongue out at me " When I feel like it. Maybe I just think you have bad breath."

My jaw dropped " Your mean. Whatever, I need to shower."

When I was showered and dressed, Edward and I walked over to his house. This year we were switching things up and doing things at the Cullen's. I was immediatly thrown into the kitchen to help. My father was watching ESPN on the Cullens flat screen, but Edward and Carlisle were at the dinner table, talking with us and giving a hand every once in awhile.

I was chopping up the sweet potatoes while Edward had his arms around my waist, and his chin on my shoulder. He was definately playing as a sweet boyfriend right now. I didn't know what he wanted, but I was sure that maybe it was to earn some brownie points from my father if he came in.

" Taste?" he whispered in my ear.

I slivered off a peice from the round chunk of sweet potato, picking it up and bending my arm back to feed it to him. He hummed and chewed, placing a kiss on my neck. When he pulled away from me he sat back down. It was raw, and I didn't know how good it would taste. He didn't seem to mind.

" Someone is kissing up." Esme noted, giving Edward a pointed look.

" Am not." he chuckled " Is it a crime to hug people?"

" It is to hug your girlfriend, it's trouble."

My mother popped the turkey in the oven after Esme rubbed it with oil and put a whole mess of seasonings and herbs onto it. It smelled delicious even though it wasn't cooked. Esme chopped up some regular potatoes and put them in a pot with water, setting them on the stove but not turning it on. I did the same with the sweet potatoes and we all went into the living room, convincing my dad to turn on A Nightmare Before Christmas.

Edward sat at the end of the couch and I curled up next to him, wrapping my arms around his lean form. His chin rested upon my head, his hand rubbing back and forth against my arm soothingly.

" I really want to rip those gifts open."

" Tonight, love."

" I have no restraint."

I kissed his neck " Yes, you do. I mean it must be hard to resist my sexy body." I teased in a whisper, playing with his fingers.

" That's harder." he whispered lowly.

" What are you two whispering about over there?" I heard Esme say with a laugh.

I cleared my throat " Nothing, really."

He kissed the top of my head and nuzzled my neck. Across the room I heard my father clear his throat loudly. I looked up and saw he was glaring at Edward, he looked kind of pissed. He looked at me, his face softening.

" Isabella, could you get me another beer?"

" Sure, dad."

Edward released me and I went to the fridge in the kitchen, retrieving my dad a beer. I knew that he was trying to find ways to get Edward off of me, and while it was annoying, I also know that he was only looking out for me.

I just hoped he would realize that nothing would be changing anytime soon. After getting the beer, I set it on the table next to him and walked towards Edward.

" Can I get a glass, sweetie?"

I narrowed my eyes " You hate drinking beer in cups."

He grumbled something under his breath and I plopped down on Edward's lap, he steadied my hips with his hands and I leaned back against his chest, resting my chin on his shoulder.

" I don't think Charlie likes me anymore." Edward whispered quietly.

" He still likes you, Edward. Your dating his only daughter, remember that."

" We've grown up together, out of all the men in the world he should trust me the most. He always knew that I looked out for you as a kid, what's changed besides our feelings and relationship?" he asked, sounding almost annoyed.

" He's just protecting me, Edward. It's what parents do."

" It's not like I'm taking advantage of you."

I sighed and shook my head. Edward locked his arms around my waist and kissed my temple. I rested my arms ontop of his and watched the movie, not exactly paying attention, but still staring at it.

At around four us ladies got up to finish up dinner. We started boiling the potatoes and my mother basted the turkey with the drippings. Esme prepared the green beans and set them in the microwave until it was time to start cooking them.

Once the sweet potatoes were done I drained the water and put them in a glass pan, sprinkling it with brown sugar and putting a marshmallow layer on the very top. I put it on the rack under the turkey and closed the oven.

"Isabella, dear can you prepare the mashed potatoes."

Every year I was in charge of that because I knew how to make it like Grandma Claire. I walked over to the pot, seeing the beater put together next to it. All I would need were the ingredients to put into it.

" Edward, can you get me a stick of butter and the sour cream." I asked.

He went into the fridge and got me what I asked, setting it besides the pot. After getting me a spoon he sat back down. I smiled at him and tossed the stick of butter in, letting it melt into the hot potatoes. I put a few scoops of the sour cream in and started up the beater, mashing it all together until it was just a little chunky. I poured some milk in, not bothering to measure it because I knew the amount I needed in my head and knew how long to pour. Once I was done with it I put it back in the fridge, along with the sour cream. I grabbed the salt and pepper, sprinkling both before resuming.

I kept going until it was silky smooth and not a chunk in the pot. I grabbed a spoon from the drawer, wanting to taste it before putting it on the table.

" Can I?" Edward asked, leaning over the counter.

I spooned some out and pointed the spoon in his direction. He wrapped his lips around the spoon and pulled back, I knew I was staring at him and everyone probably thought I was a freak.

When I finished up with the potatoes, I set it on the counter and took the sweet potatoes out, all of the marshmallow melted into it deliciously, seeping into every crack. Carlisle was now carving the turkey, putting the pieces on the platter.

Edward and I grabbed plates for the dining room, since it was a holiday, we ate in the formal dining room. We set the table together and as I was about to go back into the kitchen, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him.

" I feel like I'm not allowed to kiss you around them."

" Your not." I said, not even joking.

I pressed against him, pushing him against the wall. His head leaned down towards mine, warm lips connecting with mine. I kissed his lips sweetly, not wanting to get carried away. It's not like we even kissed any more passionate then this. Edward had his limits, and I abided by them.

He pulled away from my lips and placed kisses on my jaw and neck. I hooked my fingers in the beltloops of his jeans, pulling his hips against mine. Edward's teeth nipped at my jaw and I rested my hands on his hips.

" Isabella! They need you in the kitchen."

We pulled away from eachother abruptly, but Edward made no move to let go of me. Charlie glared at him hard and Edward sighed.

" She'll be there in a minute."

My father left and Edward kissed me once chastely before releasing me.

" Bella!"

I darted to the kitchen quickly. Carlisle had me carry in the platter of sliced turkey and we all went into the dining room, settling down on a chair between Edward, and my father. After cutting out food and having our plates prepared, Edward ate with his left hand as he held my left with his right hand.

After dinner and cleaning up, we gathered in the living room to open up our gifts. Each year it was almost harder and harder to pick out things for him, because I liked giving him things that he would absolutely love. Last year he got the Xbox 360, and that thing was basically his child.

This year I'd gotten him a Wii Console, that came out last year, but he had yet to get one. Emmett and Jasper had one, but he did not infact have one. I got him Red Steel, Super Smash Bro's Brawl along with Mario Kart with the wheel, along with three Wii remotes. I also got him an iTunes card. I knew I'd gone all out, but I loved giving people gifts.

I made him open mine before I opened his.

I enjoyed seeing the excitement in his eyes seeing all that I'd gotten him, he was entirely too excited for all of it. His eyes were wide everytime he opened a new one. When he finished ripping open each one, he stacked it all perfectly and wrapped his arms around me.

" I don't know any girlfriend that would willingly buy their boyfriend video games. Thank you, beloved."

After placing a chaste kiss on his lips, he stood me up and pushed me towards the large box in the room, telling me to open it firts. I ripped down the middle, shoving all of the other paper away, underneath it was a big cardboard box. I got the tape off with scissors, and opened up the flaps, stopping short to turn around and look at him.

Inside the box was a perfectly new wooden easel, with three blank canvases inside. He smiled at me widely, rocking back on the balls of his feet.

" Edward, you really did not have to do this."

" I really did. You told me just a few weeks ago how much you missed painting. Open the other gifts."

He'd gotten me so many different colored paints, along with brand new brushes that looked expensive. He even got me a tray for the paints. I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him close to me.

" I love you. Thank you so much." I whispered against his chest.

" I know you do. Your very welcome."

The day before New Years Eve, Edward recieved a call from Rosalie. I knew that he had intended to just hang up on her and ignore it, but he actually went upstairs to his bedroom after I encouraged him to go and talk to her.

I didn't exactly know entirely what she had said to him. All I knew was that they had a very long talk over the phone and Edward seemed to be acting better about it, he expressed to me that she apologized, and explained herself, and even though he is hurt, he knows that it's the right thing to do to forgive her instead of harboring these harsh feelings towards her.

She invited us to her New Years Eve party, of which some of her family were going to attend, along with a whole mess of friends from highschool that were still here. Rosalie did say that Tanya was going to be there, it was avoiding the inevitable because her parents were friends with Rosalie and Jasper's parents, and they were invited each year.

New Years Eve night, I got myself showered and dressed. I wore a pair of dark skinny jeans with a grey denim tint on the front. I had on a grey tanktop with a black sweater over it with a short black trech coat and a pair of mary jane pumps that I wore for my Birthday a few years ago. I clasped them around my ankle and stood.

My makeup was darker, matching the smokey clothing style that I'd picked out for myself. I was a little nervous, but Edward would be there and he wouldn't leave me. I curled my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. I spritzed on some of my Burberry perfume and took a deep breath, walking downstairs and out of my bedroom.

Edward was leaning against the door and waiting for me. I leaned into him, kissing his lips. He rubbed his lips together and licked them afterwards.

" Cherry chapstick. Some things just don't change with you, Bella."

I looked towards the living room at my parents. " Were leaving."

" Be back right after midnight." my father stated sternly.

My mother slapped his shoulder and glared at him before looking back at us.

" Don't you listen to him. Come back when your done having fun, no drinking."

We smiled " Sure thing, bye!"

Edward opened the door of Carlisle's Mercedes, which we were borrowing due to the fact that his car was back in New York, and held my hand, l dropped it once I was in and he shut the door safely and got in the other side of the car, starting it up. The drive to Rosalie's house felt very long, but eventually we were pulling up to the street. There were many, many cars and we found a parking spot on the opposite side of their house.

" Are you nervous, you look scared." he noted.

" I...uh, a little bit. Are you okay with this."

" I'm okay if you are."

I smiled " Lets go."

When we got out of the car I grasped his hand tight in mine. We walked up the driveway, and it was easy to hear music playing, it wasn't blaring, but it was loud enough. When we got to the door the glass door of it was unlocked, the wooden front door open infront of it.

Edward pulled the lever and motioned for me to walk in. I stepped in, seeing a whole variety of people walking around. He stepped in behind me and I saw Rosalie appear from the crowd. She was wearing a strapless black dress with a pair of red leggings and black pumps. Her hair was curled and her makeup was flawless as it always was. She looked the same.

" I'm glad you both made it. Here you can put your coats in the closet."

Edward had a wary look on his face, probably not wanting to lose his jacket in all the others.

" Don't worry, only a few people have theirs in the closet, my extended family and some friends have them upstairs."

He nodded and slipped his off, helping me with mine, I noticed how Rosalie watched us closely together as she hung up the coats. She waved us towards the living room and we were thrown into big groups of people.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me towards the table that was filled with drinks. Without hesitance I grabbed a beer, Edward looked at me skeptically and grabbed a Corona. I drank down half of it, glad it was really cold.

" Um...Do you even like beer."

" I guess so, I need something to get me through tonight."

I leaned into him and he kissed my forehead " It's just for a few hours, and if you want to leave early, just tell me. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

" Okay."

" Let's go find Alice and Jasper."

We found them talking with Emmett by the dinning room table, and when Alice saw me, her arms wrapped around me in a death grip. How she moved to me so fast I have no idea. I embraced her back tightly.

" How are you doing! I've missed you!" she exclaimed, a big smile on her face.

" Great, how are things with you?" I asked.

" Amazing, school and Jasper are just fantastic. Everything is going right, and Rosalie and I are getting better, so it's all good."

I smiled " Good, that's great, Alice."

Emmett lifted me up, giving me his signature bear hug and squeezing the life out of me. When he set me down, I ran into Jasper who caught me and steadied me.

" Don't kill the poor girl, Em. She's fallen one too many times."

I smoothed my hair down and stood beside Alice. She grabbed my hand and dragged me over to an empty spot on the couch in the living room. I sat down and she sat in the spot next to me, bouncing with happiness. Her smile was big enough to look like it hurt to smile so wide.

" So, how are things going with you and Edward?"

" Things have really been going great with us. I am really happy with him and I can't picture myself with anyone else."

" That's good. I'm really happy for both of you guys, really. I think Rose is even warming up to the idea!"

" Don't hold your breath, Alice." I sighed.

" I'm not, but I really think you should have faith."

" Rosalie and I aren't completely okay just because her and Edward made up. I don't care how long ago it was, but she really hurt me, Alice. I can't completely trust her after what she did to me, and what she did to Edward."

" Edward forgave her on that part, why can't you?" she pushed.

" If Jasper were Edward, and you were me, what would you think?"

She was quiet " I understand, you love him."

We talked for a little bit on the couch until Jasper whisked her away into the crowd. I finished my beer and tossed it, replacing it with a Sprite. Edward showed up a few minutes after Alice left and sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist.

" Should we go?"

I looked at him " Why?"

" You look upset."

" Don't let me rain on your parade, Edward. I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me, please."

Rosalie suddenly plopped next to us, a big smile on her face. She looked like she was having alot of fun, her eyes were glinting with excitement.

" Are you both having a good time?"

" Actu-"

" Great time, thanks for inviting us." I interrupted.

" Okay, I just wanted to make sure before I jump back in. You both should go dance or something. We've got snacks on a table and desserts in the kitchen along with punch, it's not spiked so no worries."

She left and Edward stood me up, pulling me to the middle of the huge room. I stood infront of him and he wrapped his arms around me. I dropped my head down and shook my head.

" I can't dance, Edward." I shouted over the music

" Anybody can dance."

Suddenly he wrapped his arm around me, pressing me against his chest before twirling me out, quickly he pulled me back in he twirled me once more, his chest against mine. I had no clue he had those kind of moves, but it was kind of fun.

Edward forced me to dance with him for a good fifteen minutes before I pulled him towards the kitchen. I was really hot, and I needed something to drink. I poured some punch into a plastic cup and drank it down, refilling it once more. Afterwards I tossed out the empty cup.

He set his arms around my waist once again, pulling me in for a passionate kiss.

I rested my hands on his chest, kissing him back enthusiastically. When I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip, I gasped in his mouth. This was definately something new. I opened my mouth and his tongue sought out mine, twisting and twirling together. He angled my head to the side and attacked my mouth fervently. I let out a small moan, which was probably not audible due to the music.

" Edward?"

He pulled away from me and released his hold on my waist reluctently.. I turned around and saw my worst nightmare in a tight red dress. Edward looked down at me exasperated.

" Yes?"

She smacked her gum and looked at me, sizing me up like she always was known for doing. I put my arm around Edward's waist, leaning into his side. He kissed my temple and hugged me close to him.

" Didn't know it was you. How are you?" she asked, walking towards us.

" Tanya, what do you want?" I asked her seriously.

Her blue eyes gave me an icy glare " I wasn't talking to you."

" Look, I'm done with you Tanya. I moved on and I'm happy. Your just not one for commitment, Bella is. I found someone who loves me, and knows everything about me, someone who cares to know everything about me.

She scoffed " Oh, please. The only reason your with her is because she is obsessed with you, and she's an easy lay."

My jaw dropped right down to the linoleum floor. I was going to deck her, my hand lifted up and I slapped that bitch right across the face as hard as I could. She steadied herself and recoiled, glaring at me. Her hand rested on her red cheek, she was clearly shocked that I had the balls to do that.

" You can take those words, and shove them right up you-"

Edward dragged me into the living room quickly, picking up a brownie on the way out. He pushed me onto the couch and I flapped my stinging hand around. Gently, he lifted it up and placed a kiss on my palm.

" Why did you do that? I was really looking forward to telling her off." I whined.

He ignored me, giving me a small smile.

" Thank you for that. And you are not an easy lay."

" I know, she just...She irks me."

" Here, take a bite."

He held the brownie to my lips and I took a bite, chewing it slowly as Edward look a bite out of it also. After letting me finish it off, I washed it down with his cup of punch. He put his arm around me and I looked into his eyes.

" Would you like to resume that kiss?" he asked.

" I was hoping you'd offer."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, leaving my mouth parted. He waited no time to thrust his tongue into my mouth. His mouth tasted like chocolate brownie and punch, and while it may sound gross, it was delicious. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his wound around my waist, pulling me closer.

" This is alot more fun then closed mouth kissing."

" Mmm."

After a few more minutes of shamelessly making out on the Hale's couch, Edward got me up again and made me dance some more. It was a flurry of grinding and twirling. He seemed to be enjoying himself and I didn't want to ruin his fun. I was happy to see him smiling.

The night went on and soon everyone was shuffled infront of the television as they were counting down from a minute. Edward swayed us back and forth, his hands curled around my lower waist and I rested my head on his chest, warm in his embrace.

"Ten!"

" Nine!"

" Eight!"

" Seven!"

" Six!"

" Five!"

" Four!"

" Three!"

" Two!"

" ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR."

Outside Rosalie's father and uncles were blowing off fireworks, they made loud noises outside but right now I was more focused on the gorgeous boy that was staring down at me, expecting his New Year kiss.

I tipped my head up towards him and locked my arms around his neck. He lifted me up and pressed his lips against mine, moving them slowly against mine in a sensual kiss. I kissed him back, keeping his slow pace.

To my left I heard a loud gasp. Edward and I pulled away and looked over, seeing a shocked Alice ,and Jasper on his knee infront of her holding a box with a ring inside. I put my hand over my mouth and set my head against Edward's neck. He rubbed my back and watched as Jasper slid the diamond ring on Alice's finger. She squealed in pure happiness and jumped right into his arms.

It made my heart swell with love for them. Looks like Jasper was proposing soon after all. I really was happy for Alice and Jasper.

I looked at Edward from under my eyelashes.

" I love you, Edward."

What I was expecting was his 'I know' response.

" I love you, too."

My breathing hitched and my heart stuttered.

" I do, Bella. I feel it."

I tangled my hands in his hair and kissed him deeply. He gripped my thighs and slowly lowered me to the ground. When I pulled away he smiled brilliantly at me.

He loved me.

Edward Cullen finally loved me back.

Alice had came over to me once Edward and I were finished with our exchange, showing me the round diamond that was on a platinum band, it was a gorgeous ring and the radiant smile on her face made me happy by just looking at it.

We hung around for awhile until we were exhausted and thought it was time to leave. After bidding our friends goodbye Edward helped me in the car, smiling the whole time. He shut the door and jogged to the other side, getting in quickly to start the car up. I slipped my jacket off, the car already being nice and warm, rolling the thin sweater up my arms.

He held my hand as we drove carefully down the icy road towards our house.

" Did you have a great time tonight?"

I rested my head on the headrest, looking at him with my cheek against it.

" Yes, I did."

He shot me his crooked smile and I looked forward just as I heard Edward gasp.

Everything seemed to almost happen in slow motion from there. There was the loud honk of a red semi- truck as it spun out of control on the almost abandoned street. It was barelling right towards us. I screamed.

Edward gripped the steering wheel and swerved off of the rode, we slammed forward and I regreted in that moment for not wearing a seatbelt. My forehead slammed roughly onto the top of the car and banged into the window harshly, the glass shattering all over my body. My wrist cracked painfully against a part of the car and my shoulder slammed against the handle. The front of the car was slammed in and smoking heavily. I could feel some of the glass was pricked into my arms, and the blood was seeping out of the fresh wounds.

I opened my eyes, the pain in my head shooting through me. What I knew was about to happen, made me scream bloody murder. The truck was off of the road and headed straight towards the drivers spot, right towards Edward. As quickly as I could, I grabbed Edward's arms, he was unconsious and I could see blood on the back of his head. His wrist was twisted in the steering wheel oddly, I had to pull it out and cringed at the cracking noise.

He was heavy, but in that moment, all I focused on was that I was seconds away from losing someone that I loved and I needed to help him. I grabbed him and pulled him forward, he was mostly ontop of me, and I had to get the fuck out of here. My wrist and arms was screaming in pain, but I had to keep pulling.

I quickly pushed myself backwards, Edward dead weight was laying over me and I felt the truck hit the car. The snow and grass had slowed it down slightly and it had pushed in the drivers door and it stopped at the console.

My breathing was shaky and I felt blood trickle down my temple, it touched the corner of my lip.

I heard alot of yelling of someone to call 911 and I held onto Edward, tears streaming down my face. His eyes were closed and a little blood was seeping into my sweater. I felt someone behind me.

" Edward, please wake up. Don't leave me, love." I whispered, gently holding the back of his head.

There was three people around us, standing by the car.

After what felt like an enternity, I heard an ambulance in the distance and looked down at Edward, begging for him to be okay. Suddenly I felt someone touching my shoulders gently and I jumped.

" Ma'am, are you okay."

" My boyfriend. His head is bleeding, you have to help him!"

Slowly they eased both of us out, keeping Edward supported on me somewhat. Once they had me mostly out they grabbed Edward and lifted him onto a gurney, immediatly loading him in. I begged for them to let me stay with him, convincing them I was fine.

As they looked at Edward I held his hand tightly, telling him it would be okay.

When we got to the hospital they rushed him into the ER. I followed him as long as they would let me, then they had to take me into a room and clean me up. They called our parents as a nurse sat in a chair and cleaned my temple. I had a nasty cut that they had to stitch up and the nurse quickly took care of it.

She bent my wrist around and found it was badly sprained, they fit me into a brace and the nurse got out more stitches and a few bandages. I could see my arms bloody with cuts all over them from the glass. Suddenly my parents burst into the room, panick evident on their face.

" How's, Edward? Have you heard anything?" I asked hurriedly.

" No. Bella, what happened?"

" A truck was out of control on the road...Edward swerved, we hit a tree.

The EMT that came to us found was standing in the room. " You saved his life. If you hadn't moved him out of the drivers spot then his whole lower body would of been entirely crushed. One more second and I am sure he would not of made it. The person who was driving the semi made it out just about unscathed as you. A few bruises and bumps, a slight concussion. He explained to us that he was only going three over the limit and he swerved on the ice, said that he could not get the truck in his control."

Tears leaked from my eyes and a doctor walked in, Dr. Gerandy it looked like. He checked me over, saying that I would have lots of bruises and would be sore for awhile. They checked my badly bruised shoulder after I explained it had been hurting, and luckily it wasn't dislocated or broken. There was a large peice of glass wedged into my wrist. They had taken that out carefully while I gasped in pain. Dr. Gerandy stitched it up himself and wrapped a medical bandage all around my wrist and secured it with medical tape.

I looked down at my sweater, seeing Edward's blood from his head on it. I looked away for the most part as they stitched me and cleaned my arms up. Once I was done, I was flying like a bat out of hell. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I stopped.

" We have to wait, sweetie. It's okay, Carlisle is in there and Esme is waiting in the room."

When we got to the area, it was empty for the most part. Esme was there, sitting down on a chair. She was crying and talking to the EMT I had talked to just a moment ago. After he was gone she looked up at me, running quickly towards me and putting both of her arms around me tightly. I winced when she had brushed my shoulder.

" You saved his life, Bella." she said shakily.

" Is he okay, have you heard anything?"

" It's been a half hour already. Carlisle hasn't come out...God, he has to be okay."

We sat down, and I tried to contain my crying, trying not to break down in a hospital waiting room. My arms and wrists were hurting terribly, along with the throbbing cut on my temple but I was trying to keep my focus on Edward.

I hated hospitals, everything about them.

The fact that they smelled like lysol and blood, the blinding white walls and the overall fact that they made me depressed. Knowing that Edward was the one who was seriously hurt, pained me. I wished it had been me, he was hit in the back of the head by some force, and it was _bleeding._ I wanted it to be me because he didn't deserve that kind of pain and suffering.

Everyone was quiet, not wanting to speak and break the silence. It had been over an hour, and I as desperate at this point to know what was going on with him, if he was going to be okay.

When the door opened and Carlisle walked through, he came straight towards us with a very grateful and relieved look on his face.

" He was lucky, very lucky." he said shakily, dropping in the chair next to Esme, taking her in his arms before looking at me.

" He suffered similar to what you did two summers ago. His head hit backwards on the hard surface on the inside of the inside of the car, and he had a straight crack in his skull, althought his was more serious. We had to make a very small incision in his head to use medical glue to repair the damage and make sure it would heal correctly. His wrist had gotten stuck in the steering wheel, which Bella had to have pulled out, and it's broken pretty badly, we fixed that up and right now he's on medication and a little confused and in alot of pain. Although he is very irritable right at the moment, he wasn't letting the doctor touch him. Bella, you did save my sons life. They moved him to a room, and he will have to stay atleast three nights, five at the most."

I bent my head down, letting a tear drop on my jeans " Can I see him?"

" I'm going to take Esme in first, okay?"

I nodded in understanding and he took Esme in. I waited patiently, my leg bouncing up and down. My father left briefly and came back with coffee for me. I drank down the coffee quickly, it wasn't the best coffee I tasted, but it was fine for now.

My mother held my hand tightly, handing me a new tissue every few minutes. I tried to contain the sobbing, but I was just so relieved that he was okay that I just couldn't control my moments right now.

All I wanted was to see Edward.

Carlisle came out a few minutes later, looking mildly frusterated.

" What? What's wrong?"

" He wants to see you, actually he is swearing and screaming that he wants to see you...Some certain concussions can cause inappropraite emotions towards a certain situation. He's very upset and confused right now. I think you should..."

Quickly I got up and Carlisle took me down a long hall, leading me left once, and down another hall until we reached a room. When I walked in, I expected him to maybe be tired, and he did look tired and in pain, but he also looked pissed and Esme was quietly sitting in a chair.

I scurried to the side of the bed and he looked at me.

" Now y-you let me f-fucking see her."

" Edward.." Carlisle sighed. " You need to calm down, not fifteen minutes ago were you being woken up."

I sat down in a chair and leaned over the bed close to him. His shaky hand reached up to grab my left hand, which was in the brace. I saw a tear leak out the corner of my eye and I leaned forward, kissing his cheek before pulling away and staring into his tired green eyes.

"Oh, Bella. What d-did I do?"

" You saved our lives, Edward. I'm not even that bad. I've just got to take care of you now."

" They t-told me that you g-g-got me out of the way wh-when the truck as coming t-towards me. You sav-saved me."

" If you were hadn't gotten off the road it would of been worse." I fretted,

He sighed, wiping his tears " I l-love you."

" I love you, too. Everything is going to be just fine, your okay.."

" I d-don't want you to ha-have to t-take care of me."

I rested my head on his chest " You've taken care of me many times, now it's my turn to take care of you."

He sighed and patted the bed. I gave him a wary look, scrunching my face up.

" I don't think..."

" This da-damn hospital b-bed is bad enough, p-please lay wi-with me. You w-won't hurt me."

I walked over to the other side of the bed and slowly lowered myself into it, ignoring the stares of our parents as I did so. I laid on my stomach and put my arm on Edward's chest, resting my head against his shoulder.

" Bella, don't you want a change of clothes?"

I sat up slightly and slipped my sweater off, along with my heels. Esme tossed me an extra blanket and I draped it over my body. It was thin and cold, but it didn't matter. Edward was fast asleep beside me, his left hand holding my left.

" I am guessing that your staying here tonight."

" I'm not leaving."

" Okay, I will let the nurses know so they won't bother you both. Edward probably will be having an on and off night due to the medicine, but he needs it unless he wants to feel all that pain. Until it dulls he will need to have it regularly, the pain would be way too much for his body to handle at this time."

I nodded and placed a tiny kiss on his neck. They all had to leave, but Esme volunteered to bring me a change of clothes just in case and came back. I didn't expect to see her carrying a bag. She had things for Edward, a change of clothes for me and Edward's black and white blanket.

She put it over both of us and kissed his cheek and mine.

" I'm so t-tired." he mumbled.

I rubbed his chest " I know, love...Do you want some water maybe?"

" No, no wat-water right n-now. Just l-lay with me. I'm s-sorry that you can-can't sleep..."

" I want to be here, nobody could make me leave right now."

He smiled " I h-hate hospitals, but you ma-make it t-tolerable."

I smiled right back at him.

Edward fell asleep for about an hour and a half until the nurse came in to give him the medicine. He drank a little bit of water and had to use the washroom. They disconnected the I.V, and left. I didn't want anybody helping him but me. I helped him get out of the bed, he was a little wobbly on his legs but he was okay to use the bathroom on his own.

After washing his hands he walked back out and I helped him in bed, being careful when setting his head down. He propped his legs up and I laid back next to him, draping my arm across his stomach. Suddenly as he looked down at me, he gasped.

" Your arms, B-Bella." he said, reaching his broken wrist up.

" The glass shattered. I'm okay, Edward. I'm only worried about you right now."

" Don't. R-Really. It hurt-hurtss like a b-bitch, but I c-can only imagine it would b-be wor-worse without the meds."

" You can't tell me not to worry. I always worry."

" Try n-not to."

I sighed and kissed his chest, hating the hospital gown already. Though it was pretty easy to shove off, that was the point. I wrapped my arm around his waist as tightly as I could, he winced.

" What?"

" My ri-ribs, their a lit-little bruised."

I quickly recoiled my arm but Edward's unscathed left hand grabbed it, resting it lightly over him and patting it down reassuringly. I felt the tears glossing over my eyes.

" D-Don't do th-that. Just d-don't squeeze, I'm f-fine."

My head shook in disagreement, tears dripping down my face.

" No, your not fine. It's not okay."

" Be-Beloved, you n-need to c-calm down."

" I wish I was the one who got it worse. I do."

" I d-don't. Finally I take-take a h-hit." He wrapped his arm around my waist and sat up, lifting his head up and wincing.

I sniffed " Lay down, Edward... I'm going to use the washroom a change, give me a moment."

" B-Bella..."

Esme had put a pair of pajama pants in the back and I went to the bathroom and slipped them on, combing my hair neatly and taking my time. When I was back in the room, Edward was fast asleep, just like that.

I laid next to him and put my head on the second pillow that was laying long ways, trying my hardest to fall asleep.

**Authors Note- Well, that was the chapter. I hoped you liked it.**

****************READ ALL NOTES BELOW******************READ ALL NOTES BELOW**************

**Now, onto a few important things.**

**Some of you that follow me on twitter probably read my note about the Bella situation. If you haven't, here is the exactly note-**

Today I recieved a review commenting on how I write Bella, that she just didn't like her. And I am by no means mad at this person, because I completely appreciate all of your words. I always take them and try to make myself better in my writing.

But I've always had trouble writing Bella, and even in Ambivalence everyone really has an issue with her, and I'm really starting to have a hard time right now.

I really can't write her POV without her having bad characterizations, and now when I write in EPOV, I still can't seem to get who I see she is, right. I am deeply sorry about this, and I am very upset about it.

Truthfully, I have no idea what to do right now besides go back and just...Try to make her better because she isn't a bitch. When I look at her, she is a girl that is nice with a side of her that is strong and independent, which I think has been taken as her being mean.

Really, I am sorry about this, and I think that maybe I need to take a little bit of a break to get things together for Deep Into The Darkness, and maybe Ambivalence.

I won't be posting teasers, and I'll let you all know if I am posting on Wednesday for Deep Into The Darkness, by either posting a chapter, or not updating at all.

I hope none of you take this as me being overly sensitive, or just blowing it out of proportion, but as I've said, I really do need to just take a step back and figure out what I am going to do.

Any of you who have ever said anything about my Bella characterizations, I am not mad at all. I'd rather try and fix it and make her better. I am not trying to please everyone, but I am trying to please myself because I do not want Bella to come off as she has. It was never my intention.

Dated- August 5th, 1010

**That was basically the issue at hand, about writing Bella's point of view, and I really have been struggling with it, but I can't really just change her when I don't understand why people see her that way. I try to make her genuine, she is genuine, which is being taken differently. As I said, I am by no means upset at all, not even a little.**

**The reason I was discouraged is because I just couldn't grasp it.**

**So here is what I want you all to do.**

**I want you to tell me any issues you have with Bella for this story, don't hold back, tell me everything. I will not be upset at you as long as your just nice about it like the reviewer the other day was.**

**I would really appreciate it.**

**So click the button, review, and tell me.**


	40. Hospital Stay

**Authors Note- Hello everyone. Another Friday and another end of the week.**

**I would appreciate it if the end chapters were read. It's mostly about the last chapters note about Bella, and I would like you all to just read it. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

" His sleeping wasn't the best, but he seemed okay when his girlfriend was there. She was talking with him, and staying awake to keep him entertained. The medicine was keeping him up every few hours, but this morning he said that pain wasn't that bad." I heard an unfamilar lady-like voice say.

I adjusted myself closer to the warmth of Edward beside me, resting my ankle between his under the blankets. His hand was resting on my lower back, holding me to his side tightly. I rested my head against Edward's shoulder, sighing quietly.

My hand touched the middle of his chest, moving in slow circles.

" A-Awake, beloved?" he whispered quietly.

When I opened my eyes, the room was dark, just a little bit of light from the lamp in the corner. He was probably very sensitive to the light right now, which was understandable.

" Good, maybe she can convince you to eat." I heard Esme pipe up.

I groaned " Eat, Edward...Or I will leave and never come back."

" Half as-assed att-attempt, sw-sweeth-heart."

Slowly I sat up, running my hand through my hair. Edward released me and laid his head down on the pillow, laying it on the side. I rubbed his thigh gently and looked at him.

" What if I go home and make you a few simple meals to eat for today." I suggested.

He grabbed my wrist " D-Don't leave, p-please."

" I need you to eat, love. With the medicine you are taking, mixed with an empty stomach isn't good. I'll take two hours tops, and you can sleep."

" I do-don't n-need sleep."

Carlisle sighed " I think Isabella might want a shower, and get fresh clothes that don't have your blood on it."

Edward said nothing, he just laid down and picked at the blanket. He looked very upset. I hated making him feel that way by just the thought of leaving him here. I knew that he needed to eat though. If he wanted to get better, he needed to eat.

Slowly I got out of the bed, grabbing my heels. I walked over to the side of the bed and leaned down.

" Esme and Carlisle will still be here. I don't want to leave you, but if I make you food that I know is edible, then you need it. The more you eat, the stronger you get. The more you heal, the quicker your out of here and home with me." I whispered quietly, not wanting to irritate his headache that was probably occuring

" Okay... I lov-love you."

" I love you, too, Edward. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

" A p-pillow." he said simply.

I laughed quietly, kissing his lips chastely " I'm on it."

My dad drove me back home, and as much as I wanted to stay with Edward; I kept thinking of the fact that I needed to make food to feed him. When I was in the shower, I marinated chicken and mushrooms in an italian marinade.

I was careful as I showered, making sure not to put any soap directly on my cuts. When I was finished showering I got out and dried off quickly, wrapping the towel around my head as I stepped out of the bathroom. I put my brace back on and went to my bag, grabbing my sky blue United Kindgom shirt Edward bought me when I was in London. I put on a pair of skinny jeans and my converse, throwing on a grey holister pull over.

When I got my hair out of the towel, I combed it awkwardly with my left hand. I attempted to throw it in a ponytail, but it was very difficult with a sprained wrist.

" Dad!" I called when I tossed my clothes in the hamper.

" Yes?"

" I NEED HELP!"

He was upstairs within two minutes, taking a deep breath. I held out a brush and a ponytail, feeling like I was five years old all over again. Dad took both from me and I turned around.

" Thank you."

Dad may be a guy, but he knew how to put a ponytail up for me, he used to do it when I was a kid and mom left for work early. I gave him a hug and hopped downstairs to finish preparing meals for Edward. I had dad help me with the chopping, I did the mixing.

The end result was three dishes that Edward has always enjoyed.

Marinated chicken and mushrooms with olive oil and cherry tomatoes tossed in with rotini noodles.

Cooked beef chunks with cook carrot's, green beans, red potatoes and zuchini in a little but of thin garlic herb sauce.

Ground turkey with sun dried tomatoes and pancetta, baked in the oven and sliced with arugula miracle whip on french bread.

Each of these meals were easy to keep in room temperature degree, except for the beef dish, but I knew they had microwaves in the cafeteria. I ran upstairs and grabbed a pillow from my bed, smiling to myself. I put the food in containers after they cooled a little bit and put them in a bag. I wrapped the sandwiches individually, and made sure the seal on the beef stew was nice and tight.

I was very eager to get back to Edward, so after my father was done with whatever he was doing, we drove back to the hospital. Holding the pillow in my lap, I looked over at my father.

" What happened to the car?" I asked him.

" Well, it was damaged beyond repair, bu-"

" Oh my god...I feel so bad." I murmured.

He looked at me " Let me finish. But! Carlisle does not care about the car. They have many other cars, and he told me last night that he'd rather the car wrecked and not his children. He thinks as you of his daughter Isabella. A car can be replaced, people can't be."

I nodded and looked down at my lap.

When we arrived at the hospital, he parked in an open space and we out of the car. I grabbed the bag and grasped my pillow as we walked down the halls. Nurses and doctors were walking past us every minute or so, some looking rushed, other not.

We took a left after walking through the double doors, and headed down the hall until we reached the room. I could hear quiet talking between Esme, my mother and Carlisle. They looked up when they noticed us, smiling the slightest.

I set the bag down and sat in the chair next to a peacefully sleeping Edward, putting the pillow on my lap. His breathing was even and quiet.

" The doctor came a few minutes after you both left. We took more x-rays to see if the glue was doing okay. Everything seems to be going smooth, but they had to give him higher dosage on the medicine because he said the pain was getting worse. They said he could probably go home tomorrow night. Dr. Gerandy said that because I was a doctor and he was my son, he could get him out quicker. Tonight their going to give him a sleeping pill, and the nurse will still come in, but hopefully the pill will keep him sleeping during

I nodded and rested my hand over Edward's hand. He was laying on his right side, the almost plastic pillow under his head.

For awhile we all sat and talked quietly, and eventually my parents went home. Esme and Carlisle stayed, wanting to be here for him for as long as they could. He awoke around six thirty, a half hour before visiting hours were over.

I gave him my pillow, and he smiled at me. Carlisle warmed up the pasta for him and he finally ate, literally shoving forkfuls into his mouth. We were all glad that he was eating, that was the main part. Afterwards he brushed his teeth and got back into the bed.

When visiting hours came, Esme was upset to leave him, she'd been upset and crying. I'd felt awful for her, but Edward assured her that he would be there in the morning, and I was going to be with him all night. I gave both Esme and Carlisle a tight hug and then we were alone.

We sat and talked for awhile, enjoying eachothers company regardless of where we were.

After I was in my sleeping clothes, I laid on the bed with him, laying my head on his shoulder. His left arm was under me, my body laying towards him up against his side. I could feel his hand caressing my waist gently, and I really wanted to kiss him, but we were in a fucking hospital bed. Instead, I settled for kissing his neck.

" Your d-driving me cr-crazy." he complained, stretching his legs under the blankets.

" Sorry..."

His left hand curled around my hip, and he leaned down to stretch his arm to the back of my knee, dragging it up to rest on his hip. I held in a gasp as I looked up into his green eyes. Slowly I sat up and leveled my face to his.

I ran my right hand over his cheekbone before leaning in to touch my lips to his. He immediatly deepened our kiss, leaning forward towards me. I could still taste mint in his mouth from when he brushed his teeth, along with a hint of Edward's sweet breath.

Cocking his head to the side, Edward sucked my tongue into his mouth. I moaned lowly against his lips, traveling my hand over his hip.

" Uhm...Excuse me?"

We paused and I quickly moved away, taking my leg off of his lap. I sat up awkwardly and he leaned back, fiddling with the blanket. The blonde nurse smiled shyly.

" Sorry about that...Dr. Gerandy wanted me to give you the sleeping pill at nine thirty. If this doesn't take effect in a half hour, just ring the nurse button and I will give you a bit more. I will be back anyways in an hour to give you the pain medicine."

" Sure, thank you."

She gave him a glass of water and he swallowed the pill, the nurse left after she knew he had taken it. Edward shifted around the bed, being careful with his I.V that was in the crook of his right elbow. I laid down as I heard Edward fiddling with the long tubes, he was dragging them over his hip and next to my stomach.

Without a word he laid on his left side, gently resting his head on my chest with his right arm on my stomach, carefully setting his broken wrist down. I turned my head to the right, looking down at him with a small smile, but his eyes were already closed.

" I love you, Bella." he whispered.

" I love you, too, Edward."

We both fell asleep in that position, and Edward stayed asleep. I awoke a few times from the nurse coming in, but she was nice and quiet not to bother Edward or myself. At around two fourty, I was asleep for good until Esme had gotten here at seven; when the visiting hours began. I awoke for about five minutes before falling right back into sleep.

At around ten I awoke at a final time, Edward was still dead asleep, his heart beating steady on the heart monitor, the reason they had it hooked up was to make sure his body wasn't reacting badly to any medicine. Edward as a kid had issues with medicine in the past, and once when we had gotten into his grandfathers medicine, he'd taken many and had to get his stomach pumped. Also he had a bad reaction to one of the pain medicines for his grandpa's migranes. The doctors were very wary of what to give him, and they needed to make sure he was alright.

I ran my fingers through his hair gently and yawned. Carlisle was looking through papers, and Esme was sitting on the side of the bed, looking at her new iPhone. When she looked up, she smiled upon seeing me awake.

" Good morning, dear. How was last night?"

" Fine. He slept like a rock after that sleeping pill."

" That's great. How about you?" she asked

" I woke up a few times, but he kept me warm all night so it was easy to fall back to sleep.

She reached over and ran her hand over her sons shoulder, looking at me thoughtfully.

" He really loves you. He's always loved you."

I smiled " Took him awhile to figure it out."

" It did, but things take time."

Slowly I felt Edward shift beside and over me, his hand brushing over my ribs. His face pressed against my chest, and I fought the urge to blush. I yawned once more and Edward slowly pulled away from me, moving over to rest his head on our shared pillow with his back to me.

I kissed the back of his neck and sat up, stretching my arms and hopping out of the bed. I used the washroom quickly and grabbed my toothbrush with my right hand. After brushing my teeth I combed my hair and had Esme put it in a ponytail for me.

I struggled getting my pants on like usual, but my shirt was a little easier. Esme had brought me a change of clothes from home, and luckily she knew just what I wore on a daily basis. I slipped on my converse and went back into the room.

Edward was still asleep, and I went to the cafeteria to warm up the beef stew. There was enough for atleast three servings, and I was starved after not eating dinner last night. I ate the stew, talking with Carlisle and Esme a little bit.

When Edward awoke, it was mostly a quiet day with not alot of talking.

My parents came in the afternoon and at around six Dr. Gerandy came in to check up on Edward.

They gave Carlisle the go ahead to discharge him and he gave Esme the prescriptions for the pain medicine and sleeping pill. I asked him about school, because we would be going back the eighth because I had to work. I also had to call Edward's work and let them know that there had been an accident. The resturaunt was very understanding to Edward's condition, but they said they would need him by atleast the beginning of next month. I would start work the day I got back in New York. Today was the third, which meant there was twelve days until school resumed and five days until we were back in New York.

It had taken me about three weeks to get mostly better when that happened to me. Edward's was alot worse, about double that. Dr. Gerandy suggest that Edward stay with someone, which would be me, and talk to the teachers about me going to get his work and having him do a little bit of it online through e-mail. He also said that it would be okay for him to take the flight back to New York as long as I stayed with him.

A note would also be written for Edward, just to justify that he was in the hospital and seen by a doctor. They needed to know that he was required to stay out of school for the time being.

" Alright, Edward...Do you want me to help you get into your clothes?"

My poor boyfriend blushed ten shades of red in his fathers direction. " Uhh... I think I will handle that myself."

I rested my hand on his shoulder, sitting beside him on the bed.

" Would you feel more comfortable if I helped you?" I asked him quietly.

He nodded silently and my parents and his quickly left, closing the door behind them. I felt a little bad for him, because I knew Edward was an independent man, and he hated being cared for. I knew that he had on clean boxers, and he was alright putting those on himself.

But if I could barely get my jeans on with a sprained wrist. I could only imagine him with a broken wrist.

I grabbed his clothing out of his bag, asking him what he wanted to put on. A pair of medium wash jeans and a blue button up was the end result. I kneeled on the bed behind me, and I could see his red ears.

" Don't be so embarassed." I murmured as I untied the tie by his neck on the gown.

" Ugh, h-how can I not b-be?" His stutter was slowly fading away, I could tell he was enjoying that because he was very annoyed at it from the beginning.

" Edward! For gods sake, you sleep in only your boxers when were in bed together!"

" Under the covers."

I hopped off the bed and stood infront of him, resting my hands on his strong muscular shoulders. He looked away with a sigh, and I smiled brightly at him.

" I've seen you naked. Front and back."

He dropped his shoulders " Whatever."

I tossed the gown off of him and grabbed his jeans. After getting his legs through the pants, I dragged them up his thighs, over his ass and around his hips. He was biting down hard on his lip when I pulled up the zipper and buttoned them.

" You are ki-killing me."

" I know, love."

He slipped his arms through the sleeves of his button up, and after buttoning all but two, I rolled up the sleeves because I knew that long ones drove him nuts. We were both laughing when I was tying his shoes. Truly, it was like he was a big toddler.

" This is definately not something I want to remember."

Everyone came back in the room, and I could almost feel my dad glaring holes in both of our heads. Edward left the room to brush his teeth and use the washroom, in the mean time I grabbed all of his stuff that was here as Carlisle and Esme left the room momentarily.

" Did he behave himself?" I heard my father ask.

" Excuse me?"

" You know what I am asking?"

" I helped him get his jeans and shirt on, it's not like I was helping him change his boxers."

" I don't care about that. I don't want my little gi-"

" Dad." I interrupted " It doesn't make a difference now, I'm not...We've... You are eventually going to have to get over that fact, and realize that Edward and I have a relationship beyond friendship. I'm your daughter, but I am not a little girl."

He visably cringed at my words.

" Isabella..."

" Dad, I love you, okay. But it's Edward, he loves me and he's always taken care of me. It would be so much easier if you could just be okay. He'd never hurt me." I stated gently.

Edward walked back in the room, shutting the bathroom door behind him. I plopped his bag on the bed and grabbed my pilow. We both ate one of the sandwiches I made, all the food I made now gone.

I was odd watching Edward eat with his left hand, he was having a bit of trouble. As we took our last bites, Carlisle and Esme walked in.

It was hospital policy that the patient be taken out in a wheelchair, and Edward was pissed. Of course he relented when I told him to just do it and get out of here. Once we were by the car he scrambled into the backseat. I settled next to him and shut the door on Esme's silver BMW M3.

I wrapped my right arm around Edward's waist, leaning into his side.

Carlisle got into the drivers seat, and Esme slipped into the passenger.

" Are you going to be getting a new Mercedes?" I asked quietly

He chuckled " Yes, and please do not fret over the totalled one. I can get the 2007 edition now." he joked

" I'm really s-sorry, dad." Edward stated

" I only care that you are okay, son. The car doesn't matter, and we have the Vanquish."

Edward rested his cheek ontop of my head.

When we got home, I followed Edward upstairs to his bedroom. I ran down quickly and tossed his previous clothes in the laundry basket. Upon getting back upstairs, I heard the shower on, the noise coming from Edward's room.

Esme passed me " He begged me. I told him to be very careful with his wrist and not to let the water hit directly on his head, and to be careful washing his hair."

I nodded " Alright."

" Are you okay, dear?"

" Yeah, I'm glad that he's home."

" Me, too."

She gave me a quick hug before disappearing downstairs. I walked into Edward's bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I took out some of his things, placing them back in their original spots around the room.

Edward came out of the shower a few minutes later, wearing only his boxers and wrist brace. His hair was damp, and he looked very discouraged.

" I have...a b-bald spot where they c-cut my head open." he said, looking upset.

" I know. I didn't want to tell you, and you didn't seem to notice until..."

He sighed " I need my ha-hat."

" You need sleep. So lay down. Esme or Carlisle will probably bring your pain medicine at eight, and your sleeping pill at around ten."

Begrudgingly he sat on his bed, draping the covers over himself.

" Are you not st-staying?"

" Not overnight, but you need to get some sleep. I need my boy strong."

He opened his arms, holding them limply at his sides. I crawled onto the bed, dragging myself between his legs to rest my chest against his. I rested my face by his neck, breathing in his sweet scent.

" This is s-so much more f-fun without an I.V."

" How's your head?"

" It hurts, but it's m-managable. D-Don't worry about me."

I rolled off of him and sat up indian style next to him, playing with his fingers and looking down at him thoughtfully.

" Edward, your my best friend and my boyfriend. We've looked out for eachother since we could walk, you can't tell me not to worry about you. Fuck, you could have died. I...I'd _kill _myself if you weren't here anymore. To not have you in my life. I would be the darkest world."

" Don't ev-ever say that." he said, sounding deadly serious " If something ever ha-happened to me, I would w-want you to go on. Find someone else and l-live."

" What would you do if I died?"

" Simple, I'd be r-right after you."

I glared " Take your own advice."

He sighed " It's d-different for me."

" Oh, really. I've loved you since I was thirteen years old. And you've decided you were in love with me like what, three days ago?"

The moment the words spilled out of my mouth, I regretted them.

" Whatever, B-Bella."

" Did the jackass switch get turned on when you hit your head?"

" Just g-go home alright. I want to b-be alone."

I got off his bed " Gladly."

I grabbed my pillow that was laying on his lap, taking it from his grasp. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it immediatly. I grabbed my bag from the floor and stormed out of his room, slamming the door.

As I was opening the front door, I heard Carlisle say my name behind me.

" Is everything alright?"

" Yeah."

I closed the door behind me and ran through the snow to my house. When I got in, my parents were in the kitchen, I didn't stare long enough to know what they were doing. I went upstairs and put my things down, jumping in the shower.

My phone was full of phone calls and voicemails, ones that I had ignored. I felt bad about it because they were probably worried. I called Alice first and told her what happened, she was of course being herself and freaking out, but I had calmed her down enough to tell her we were okay and to tell Jasper.

I also called Rosalie, and went through the same with her and told her to pass that one on to Emmett. They seemed to be a little bit shocked at all of it, because it was alot to take it, but everything was fine now.

When I was done with my phone calls, and deleting all of my worried voicemails and texts, I plopped down on my bed and booted up my laptop to finish writing my paper for class. It had to be a ten page paper on one of our favorite writers of all times, their biography, why I chose him/her, and what I think is his/her best work and why.

Of course I picked a Jane Austen and her novel Pride and Prejudice. It was one of my all-time favorite novels of hers, and I couldn't resist writing about a book that I was so passionate about.

As the night drowned on, I got into bed and laid awake. I wasn't exactly tired, a little worn out from the past couple of days, but not worn out enough to fall asleep. I shifted around in bed, trying to get comfortable.

I fell asleep at one in the morning.

When I awoke the next morning, everything was quiet. I was surprised that it was because normally I could hear something coming from downstairs. I sat up, running my hand through my hair and over my face.

I got out of bed, fixing my pants that had rolled up in my sleep. After adjusting that and fixing my tanktop, I walked downstairs. Nobody was home, it was dead silent that I could probably hear a pin drop in the basement.

I went into the kitchen and drank a glass of orange juice, then cleaned it out and rifled through the fridge. For breakfast I made a egg and bacon omelette, after I ate I cleaned up all my dishes and went upstairs for a shower. I got a call from my mother, and she said that there was a grocery list on the counter by the coffee maker, and she needed me to get the stuff for dinner tonight because she wouldn't be able to pick it up.

Esme and Carlisle were going to be eating with us, and she said that since Esme was home, she offered to let me drive her M3 to the store.

Alice called me afterwards, and wanted to meet up, saying that she would go shopping with me at the store.

I did my makeup in lighter blues and put on a little bit of mascara and eyeliner. I smoothed on a little bit of cherry chapstick. Today I wore a figure flattering black turtleneck with my short cream colored trench coat, and a pair of medium wash skinny jeans with my black leather boots that Alice had gotten me.

When I got downstairs it was still very quiet. I grabbed my bag and keys and locked the front door, heading over to the Cullen's. I recieved call from Esme on my way there.

" Hey, Esme. I was just on my way over."

" Oh, yes of course, dear. Edward needs you though."

" Alright, I'm just walking in."

We hung up and I walked into the Cullen's house, tapping my shoes on the rug before walking upstairs. When I got to Edward's door, I knocked first. He was sitting on his bed, towel wrapped around his waist and his chest still damp from the shower he had taken.

He was looking upset.

" Hey."

Edward's green eyes met my brown ones. I walked across the room to sit on the bed next to him. Last night I didn't exactly leave on the best note, but I had felt bad about one thing I had said to him, about only loving me for three days.

Maybe I did love him since I was young, but I didn't want him to think that I doubted his feelings.

" Why are you here?"

" Esme..."

" I didn't say anything to her."

I sighed " Edward, I'm sorry about what I said last night. It probably sounded like I was doubting you when I said that it had only been three days. I know you love me, and I didn't mean it the way it came out."

" I know."

" I love you, Edward, more then anything."

He looked at me " I love you, too, Bella. I do." he stated.

Even though he was a little wet, I hugged him anyways, placing a kiss on his jaw.

" How about you get your boxers on, and I will help you with the rest."

" Yeah..."

Edward went to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later in his black satin boxers. He handed me his jeans and I helped him get his legs through before easing the denim over his legs. I zipped them quickly and buttoned them for him. He was a little wobbly on his feet, probably because he was a little dizzy, which was normal.

I buttoned up his shirt for him and I saw him reach for his old highschool beanie hat. I rested my head on his chest and giggled.

" Your so silly, It'll grow back."

" It's embarassing."

"It's not like your going out anytime soon."

He rubbed my back gently " So...Do you want to kiss and make up?"

" I wish, love. I've got to head to the grocery store for my mom. I'm borrowing the M3 to pick Alice up because she wants to go, I know she has things to do later on though so we will have plenty of time together."

" I'm bored."

I smiled " How about you read or something. Keep your mom company in the kitchen? I think she is baking pie and goodies."

" She was mumbling this morning about making us all this shit to go back with us on the plane. Something about brownies, toffee and cookies."

"Mmm, I am not protesting. It's not like I gain a pound eating all that I do."

" Which is another great thing about you. I can feed you all I want, and you don't even puff up a little."

I laughed " Basically. Well, I've got to go, I should be back in two hours at the latest. Love you."

He placed a lingering kiss on my lips and I pulled away from him.

" I love you, be safe."

Esme gave me the keys to her car, and I promised to be careful with it. It was odd driving this car, but I needed a car, and this one would be just fine. I dropped by Alice's, and she hopped in the passenger seat quickly.

" Hey! How are you? How's Edward? Everything okay?"

I laughed " Fine."

" Maybe Jasper and I can come by later!"

" Actually, Alice." I started " Edward is still not...he's very up and down. You can come by and say hello, but the doctor wants him to take it easy. He's been dizzy and light sensitive, loud noises of any sort."

She frowed " I feel so bad about what happened. How's your wrist?"

" Not the worst thing to happen to me. My head has been hurting a little bit when I hit it."

" Wait! You hit your head? Did they give you medicine?"

" No, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't want them to fuss. After all the fucking stitches in my arms. And Edward... He is way more important."

" But, Bella. You hurt it once, it could of done something again."

I shook my head " No, trust me, I would know...Look, just let it be. I'm okay."

When we got to the grocery store, Alice followed me around, helping me throw all of the ingredients in. I could tell that my mother was making Grandma Swan's famous chili, which was literally to die for with all of the delicious ingredients and spices. It had a little bit of a kick, and it was nice and thick with ground beef and beans.

Normally it went over macaroni noodles, which sounds a little weird to people, but it's the best ever.

Alice and I chatted the whole time, talking about school, boyfriends, or fiancee in her case. She was very excited about the proposal, and I was so happy for her. Both her and Jasper decided that they would wait until atleast the summer after sophmore year in college for the sake of their parents.

They thought that Alice was a little young, even though she was already nineteen. They wanted her to be older, that was the main part. We stopped at starbucks, and I even got one for Edward. I got him a Cinnamon Dolce Latte, Alice got a Caffe Mocha and I got a Peppermint Mocha. I also got a few pieces of the pumpkin bread, which is very tasty

I dropped Alice back off at her house and she gave me a hug, and thanked me for letting her come along.

When I got back, I parked the car in the driveway and got everything inside, and set on the counter for my mother. Then I drove to the Cullen's, parking the car in the garage and going into the house holding our drinks and little bag of pumpkin bread.

Upstairs Edward was laying in bed, over the covers and watching television. There was a small lamp on, the curtains pulled just as when I left. He smiled when he saw me and I handed him the coffee.

" Your favorite, Cinnamon Dolce Latte. And I got us some pumpkin bread."

I bent down and kissed his lips.

" Your the best, thank you for this. I...You shouldnt have to do this."

" I don't have to do anything. Get over the fact that I like to spoil you sometimes, too."

I gently sat on the other side of the bed, scooting over towards him to curl into his side. I took a drink of my Peppermint Mocha and sighed. Edward took small sips of his latte, and I slowly took out a slice of pumpkin bread. I ripped a piece off and held it up to his lips for him to take a bite out of.

Once he had the piece on his mouth, he grabbed my wrist and licked my fingers clean. It was officially the sexiest thing Edward has ever done. I stared blankly as his tongue ran over my finger, it was surprisingly cold. When he pulled my thumb and forefinger out of his mouth, he kissed the pad of my fingers gently.

" Thank for for the pumpkin bread."

" Feel free to lick me anytime you want, sexy."

He chuckled " Silly, Bella."

After finishing the little bit I had left ( I drank most of it in the car), I tossed it in Edward's trash can and laid down, curled up against his lap because he was currently sitting up. He fed me pieces of the pumpkin bread, which was delectable.

" You tired, beloved?"

" I was up all night, shifting around. I missed you."

" I'm sorry. Even though we had a fight you could of came over and slept next to me."

" I didn't think..."

His fingers ran through my hair " I don't care if you throw things at me and swear, if you ever go home and night and you can't sleep because you need me, come over. Doesn't matter the situation, my bed, is your bed."

I kissed his denim covered thigh " Okay."

Edward pulled me up to him, setting his empty coffee and bag on the end table. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and rested my body close to his. He sighed and turned his head to kiss the top of my head.

" I love you. Your my girl, and I would do anything for you.

" You, too, Mr. Cullen."

I could feel his smile on the top of my head.

" Someday I'll make you the new Mrs. Cullen."

" Nothing would make me happier."

**Authors Note- Drama, Fluff, Angst...Man I know how to make one damn good full chapter. Not to be conceited or anything...Love you guys, review if you'd like.**

**So, as some of you have followed me on twitter, you would know that I've recently had a breakthrough.**

**After basically not writing Ambivalence for about...a month and a half. I've finally got my groove back, which really, is great because I am running out of chapters and I was seriously considering Haitus last week. Yeah, I've never done Haitus, and the mere though made me want to cringe.**

**The Bella issue, no longer exists in this story. So many of you were sweet about it, and I appreciate it. I think the only thing was that Bella needs a backbone, and that she is kind of ' I'll do anything for you Edward', but they are close, remember. Anyways, thank you all, I would appreciate a review.**

**Click the button right below this arrow, please!**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	41. Healing

**Authors Note- I feel like I haven't been around for a year. Four days away from the internet is hard, I don't wish to do it again. Maybe I should get one of those fancy iPhones that people have.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

January 28th

2008

Monday

4 Weeks since Accident.

EPOV

Since the accident and the trip back to New York, things have been a little tough adjusting to my new living area, and school wise. On the bright side, my bald patch is starting to have hair grow back on it.

Of course, I loved my Bella dearly, but living with a girl was a little frusterating. I knew that me living with her wasn't the best for her either, we've already had fights about the toliet and toothpaste. Of course, both of those being my fault. I forgot to put the toliet seat down, and Bella said that she basically almost fell in, which made me laugh, which made her yell and give me a headache due to sensitivity to noise. Then I pushed the toothpaste all the way down to the tube, which pissed her off, and more yelling.

I think that helping to take care of me, and being in her space was a little stressful. And she had been going to my college to pick up things, and get notes from students on request. Most of the teachers were sending me things, luckily they understood my situation after I and my father spoke to them. Lately, I've been having that damn stomach problem that Bella did, and I threw up more in this injury then I have with the stomach flu.

Out here I had gone to the hospital about my wrist, and they were going to be treating it for the time being until it healed. It was getting a little better, but Bella still had to help me put my pants on and shirt. I was not complaining, having her hands on me was the best.

Being with Bella seemed to be even easier then I ever thought it could be. It took me time to love her, but now that I did, I really felt like I was in love. It was different from when I was with Tanya, we knew every single inch of eachothers lives and we were so passionate about eachother, I never felt that way about Tanya. Maybe to some extent, but with Bella it was fully there.

I started seeing her in such new ways, ways I never thought I would see her. She's such a sexy women, and I had no idea how I missed that in the past. Absolutely beautiful is what she is.

When Bella got home from work at nine thirty, I decided to surprise her with dinner as a gift for taking care of me, and being gracious about everything.

Okay, it was chinese takeout. I can't cook for shit.

" Edward...You didn't have to do this."

" Yes, I did. I've been in the way and a huge pain in the ass, and you've been making and bringing dinner for me."

She set her keys and purse on the couch next to me, draping her jacket over the back. Bella hopped into my lap, her legs on either side of me and her hands on my shoulders. She smelled so good.

" You are a bit much, but I love you, and I do love to take care of you. I don't think you mind too much that I help you put your pants on."

" I don't. But your so dedicated, normally girlfriends only help their boyfriends get _out _of their pants."

She giggled in the most cutest way and I leaned forward to kiss her.

" How's your head today? I know that Carlisle had given you another bottle of pills to start giving a lower dose."

" Okay, it still hurts like a bitch sometimes, but atleast I get to lay down in a delicious smelling bed every once in awhile for naps."

" Mm, thanks for the compliment. You smell nice, too, Mr. Sexy."

When she was kissing my neck, it drove me crazy and I had to push her away. She pouted at me and I sighed.

" Am I not desirable enough tonight?"

" Ugh, way too desirable for your own good. It's hard to refrain from jumping you." I teased.

She frowned " I was being serious."

" Bella, if it were my choice, I would keep you bound to the bed in some nice lingerie."

" That can be arranged." she said, giving me a wicked smile.

I smiled " I would like that as an anniversary present."

" Deal."

We ate chinese on the couch together. Curling up on the couch with the television on and forks in hand. It didn't matter whether we were out having fun or inside, I had a great time no matter where Bella and I were, that was one of the many things I loved about us. Even as kids it never mattered where we were, as long as we had eachother, everything was great.

She pulled me off the couch once we finished eating, and dragged me in the bedroom.

" Someone is a little needy lately."

" If I'm needy for you isn't that a good thing?"

Bella sat on the edge of her bed, biting her lip and bending her head up to looked at me. That look just about melted me down to my core, she was beautiful.

I put my hands on both sides of her face and leaned down. Firstly, I kissed both of her eyelids, before trailing down to kiss her cheek. When I got to her lips, I paused, feeling her hot breath against my lips. When I finally kissed her, she leaned back and fisted my collar to bring me with her. I braced myself on the bed and slanted my mouth against hers, feeling her tongue against mine was the most amazing experience.

We'd been enjoying such enthusiastic kissing, that was until I felt my stomach twisting. I pulled away from her, she was flushed and confused. When I was running to the bathroom, she got it.

I was entirely glad I hadn't eaten rice, but the chicken sure did come back up. Bella was behind me, rubbing my lower back with her head resting on my upper back.

" Go, I don't want you to see me like this."

" Shush."

Instead, I heaved once more into the toliet, my head now pulsing uncomfortably. I wiped my mouth and rose to my feet, brushing my teeth quickly and thoroughly. When I laid back in bed, Bella sat on the side of the bed, sweeping my hair out of my eyes.

" I'm sorry, I just ruined that."

" No, don't apologize. I've been there, Edward. It's okay. It's only been a little over two weeks, and your injury is far worse then mine was."

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against mine and pecking my lips once with her lips. I felt so bad about it, but there was nothing to do. Slowly she moved forward and I scooted back, taking her in my arms to hold her close.

" I know your upset about it. Love, don't feel bad. I get to kiss you for as long as you will have me."

" I feel bad."

" Don't. I love you, and I understand. Rest, do you want your pill?"

I nodded, wanting an escape from the pulsing. As she left the room, I slid my jeans off and used one hand to get the buttons through the holes on my shirt. When it was on the floor, that was when Bella came back. I took my pill and laid back down, she layered the blankets over my body gently, kissing my temple.

" I have homework to do, but I should be back in about an hour. Sleep, okay?"

" Yeah. I love you, beloved."

" I love you, too, love."

She left the room and I shifted about the bed, wanting to feel her warmth instead of the cold sheets. I rested my body in my usual sleeping position and quickly fell asleep, distantly feeling Bella crawl in behind me a while later.

I knew that I would never deserve Bella. She was way more then I ever deserved.

All I could give her was my love, and hope that it was enough for her.

BPOV

Alot of girls who have boyfriends would be thrilled to be sharing an apartment with them, of course it sounds like a fabulous thing, but living with a boy isn't as fun as one may think it is. Yes, I am able to just kiss him whenever I want, but when he isn't well, then I am dealing with a sensitive person that sleeps and eats.

My wrist was already perfect and healed up, and his was basically not broken anymore. His next appointment next week he would be getting the cast off. It would be bruised for about a week or two, but that was normal.

Edward was a little much, but I do love him and would do anything for him. That's why I didn't get pissed when he stopped kissing me to throw up.

I wouldn't take it personally.

My easel that Edward had bought me from Christmas had arrived shortly after our arrival here, and whenever I had a little bit of free time I would go and do a little bit of painting.

I went out in the living room and did a little bit of homework, wanting to get it out of the way so I could turn it in on Wednesday. Before getting into bed with Edward, I went to my closet quietly, not wanting to wake him.

I grabbed a pajama nightgown. It was a royal blue with a long boat neckline, it fell of my shoulders, but that's how it was supposed to be. The fabric fell to my mid thigh with a small slit up the left hip. Edward loved this on me, of course, I've shown him many different arrays of sleep wear. He was particularly interested in the satin nightgowns with the lace.

Slowly I slipped into bed, laying behind him with my hands on his shoulders. This semester, my first class started at eleven, and I had more time with Edward in the morning, which we both seemed to like.

Edward must of thought that he had to make up from last night, because I awoke in the most best way in the morning. His hand was slowly running up and down my upper thigh, lips attached to my neck.

" Mmm, good morning." I murmured.

He pulled away from my neck, a mark probably already there. I had only just woken up so who knows how long he has been going at it. The blanket was pushed to the other side of the bed, completely ignored.

I bent my knee up, closing my eyes to relish in the feel of his lips on my skin. When he reached over to the drawer in the end table beside my bed, I stayed still. He held something in his hand, and brought something to my lips. I trusted him, so I opened my mouth.

I was surprised when he slid a mentos in my mouth. Quickly I chewed and swallowed the candy. When he slid his lips over mine, I immediatly got the picture. His touches became more intimate as we kissed slowly.

" Edward..."

His hand slid over the smooth skin of my thigh, rubbing my skin with his beautiful hands. I tilted my head to the side and I leaned up on my elbows, letting my tongue twist with his and explore his mouth. He tasted like peppermint and he must of gotten up to brush his teeth before this because it wasn't the mentos flavor.

Edward's slid his hand that was on my thigh, up my side, softly caressing my waist. My body was completely melted into the mattress from his touch. This was definately a new experience for both of us, besides the fact that we were like this when we had sex. I could still remember that night, it would be forever burned in my mind.

When we pulled away from eachother, we were gasping loudly, but he didn't seem to be done. I couldn't find it in myself to care that he was creating another mark on my neck, the feeling of him sucking on my skin was too pleasurable to stop.

Once he was finished with my neck, he pulled away from me and rolled onto his back. I drug in a few deep breaths, turning my head to look at him.

" Not that I mind. But what was that about?"

Slowly he drew his arm around me, pulling me close to his body " You just looked so beautiful laying there in that...short night gown."

I smiled " Remind me to wear it again soon."

" Or just pull out one of those satin ones."

I sat up just a little bit and eased myself over him, resting my hands on his chest. He lifted my hand and placed a kiss on the inside of my wrist.

" Your beautiful. How did I get so lucky?"

" I was always right there, just took a little bit to figure out that what you wanted was right infront of you."

" Oh, you think I want you?"

" I know you do, love."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my entire body against his. His left hand ran up and down my spine, and his wrist lay beside him. My eyes shut on their own accord, but I stayed awake.

" You have to get up." Edward murmured moments later " It's already ten."

I sighed " I wish I could lay in your arms all day long. So warm."

He chuckled quietly " Your pretty nice to lay with, too. This weekend we can just lay in bed."

" I'd like that very much."

Februrary 6th

Wednesday

" So, how are classes going. Everything not too bad?" I asked as he slipped into the car, pushing his bag onto the backseat.

Since it's been five weeks, Edward started attending classes two days ago on Monday. Things have slowly been getting back to normal and today he was getting his wrist cast off. I was sad to see it go, for I had drew and written things on there. Including an owl holding a dum dum, yeah It was kind of a joke, but we loved it.

" Good, things haven't been too bad. I thank god it's not summer and the sun is hidden behind all of these clouds."

I smiled and drove around New York, reaching the city soon enough. The hospital wasn't far from my apartment, maybe twenty minutes. Edward was holding my hand over the console, gently rubbing his finger across my knuckles.

When we reached the hospital, we sat to wait for Dr. Chadway. He was a really nice doctor, very compassionate about his job like Carlisle is. We sat in the waiting room for about ten minutes before he saw us and waved us towards a room. They had the medical saw for the cast and Edward sat down on the table.

He asked both of us how we were before starting with the cast. I sat next to Edward while Dr. Chadway used the medical saw to take of Edward's cast. Once it was open he slid it off, tossing it aside.

" So, how has your head been doing? I know that you started up your classes again this past Monday."

" Everything seems to be going alright so far. It's not too noisy, but being in brightly lit area's kind of irritates me still. It's easing away slowly everday."

He nodded " Good, that's great. In about two weeks, we will do an x-ray, the crack should be completely healed, if not in two weeks, then most definately three." he assured him, cleaning off his arm with a warm rag.

It was purple and brown, bruises scattered around his wrist, but atleast it wasn't broken anymore.

" Okay, here we go. The bruising will start to fade in the time of a week or so. Give it time and just be careful. You can start going back to work, but as I said, be careful."

We talked with the doctor a little longer before we left. At this point, my head was hurting like a bitch. I hadn't said anything about it, but I thought it would go away, apparently not. When we got home, I went into the bathroom, grabbing one of Edward's pills.

I am not a drug addict, far from it, but he was on the same medication I was when I had the crack in the skull, and it helped with the recent pain I was having so I figured I could take the meds without saying anything and it would eventually fade.

When we were in the accident a few week back, I had hit my head on the interior of the car, and now it was really irritating me. It was normal, light was a little irritating, and the headaches were getting pretty awfull.

When I heard a throat clear beside me, I immediatly froze with the pill bottle in my hand.

" Bella, why are you taking my pain medication?" he asked me gently, as if he thought I was going to get angry.

Shit!

" Uh...Uh, I-I."

" Bella."

" I hit my head during the accident, where it was cracked before and it's been hurting. I'm not an addict or anything. But it's been really bugging me and your on the same medication I was so I was just..."

" Fuck, Bella! Why didn't you say something? You realize that could be serious if you hit the same spot?"

Edward ended up forcing me to go back to the hospital to see Dr. Chadway. They talked to Carlisle, who kept scolding me along with Edward. I really didn't think it was important, who gives a shit if my head hurts. Edward is more important.

After being patronzied from Edward and the doctor they did an x-ray of my skull, to see that it did infact crack again, about an inch away from the spot it had cracked before, but it was about a fourth of an inch long. I was quiet, sitting with my head hung as Edward glared at me the whole time.

They explained to me the importance of this kind of thing, and to always say something especially if it's happened before. I paid attention to what he said half heartedly, hating the fact that I was being scolded.

Being at the hospital once a day is already bad, but being there twice is even worse. I always hated the hospital, couldn't stand it, but I guess this time it was my own fault for not opening my mouth.

We got a prescription for pills and Edward drove to my apartment, still glaring at me.

" Why didn't you tell me?"

" Because your much more important."

" Cut that shit out, Isabella."

" Ooooh, full name."

He rolled his eyes and parked the car on the curb. I got out of the car and ran up the stairs, Edward jogged up behind me and closed the door behind me as I jogged up towards our apartment. It was our apartment now, I couldn't imagine him moving back to his apartment, though I knew he would be soon.

" Don't ever keep something like that from me again." he stated sternly, waving his finger at me.

" Sorry, dad."

" Your such a child."

" And your not?"

Edward reached for his hat and I bolted to the counter to grab it first. I decided to mess with him a little bit, just to play around. He didn't seem to be so playful today. He glared at me.

" Give me the hat."

" Why?"

" Because I want it. Give me the damn hat."

I looked up, faking the in thought look " How about...No."

He reached forward, grabbing for me but I moved. I smiled wickedly at him.

" Your so serious sometimes, let's just have some fun."

" I'm not in the mood."

I put the hat ontop of my head and walked towards the couch, knowing he could grab it from me. He pulled it off and gripped it, walking towards my bedroom with it in his hand. I sat on the couch, flipping the television on to the TLC channel to watch Cake Boss.

Buddy Valastro could calm me down in the mean time as Edward dealt with his anger.

I heard papers rustling, and knew he was doing homework. When we went into the bathroom, I slipped into the bedroom to change my clothing. I put on one of my nightgowns, like the blue one but it was a little softer and a light lavender, the hem a little up higher to make it a little more shorter.

As of right now, I really didn't care that much anymore. I had another crack in my head, I have medicine to get it taken care of and there is nothing more to do now. Edward would get over it eventually, because it really had nothing to do with him. I hated being fussed over, and him treating me like I was a child was stupid. I knew what I was doing.

When I got back on the couch, I heard him approaching the room and felt him staring at me as I laid out on the couch. I was too comfortable to move, but he was probably angry at me about this afternoon anyways.

" Im uh...Sorry for acting like your parent. I just don't like it when you keep a health problem from me, your very important to me."

" I know. I don't like to worry people, and you know that. I hate being fussed over."

" Yeah... Do you mind if I?..."

" Eh, to comfortable."

He laughed and stood infront of the couch, scooting me forward so he could lay behind me. His warm arms wrapped around my waist, pushing my back against his chest. I felt his hand on my thigh, rubbing as he did last week when we were laying in bed.

" What are you buttering me up for?"

" Those marks are starting to fade. I think I need to make new ones."

I turned my head to send a glare his way.

" Are you kidding me! I've been hiding my neck under scarves and turtlenecks. No more!"

" Your seemed to like it at the time."

" That was before I took a shower and saw that you made _four _on my neck. I knew of two at the time. That took alot of cover-up for it to be hidden, even then it looked like there was bruising."

Edward smiled in satisfaction " That is how people know you are taken. Nobody will ever have you except for me."

My breathing hitched just the slighest " Or so you say. Are you sure that you want me? Forever. What if...someday you change your mind, and find someone else to be with? Someone who you love alot more."

His face went serious, and his jaw tightened " I would never do that to you, or myself. Ever. I can't imagine not being like this with you anymore. I love you, more then anything in this entire universe. You've been my world ever since I was a kid."

I brushed my finger tips over his cheekbone gently " Your, too nice to me."

" Never...Your so beautiful."

I blushed " Stop!"

" What? I can't give you compliments either?"

" You make me blush on purpose."

His arms flexed around me " I do. It's just so adorable."

My cheeks flushed red once again. " Edward!"

I rubbed my leg against his and stared at the television, rubbing my hand idoly against his arm. I grabbed his hand and rested it on my stomach, keeping my eyes on the delicious looking cake on the television. He grabbed my hand that was on his arm and held it against my stomach. I looked at him.

" Something wrong?"

" Not particularly."

He shifted behind me and I moved forward when his knee poked my back.

" Seriously, Edward?"

He hopped off of the couch, and thumped me in the back of my head with his elbow in the process. I gasped quitely from the pain, and I winced away from Edward's touch.

" Fuck, I am so sorry."

" What the hell are you doing? We were just laying there. Do I smell bad?"

" No, no. I just."

I flipped off the television and set the remote down, walking towards the bedroom.

" Whatever, just watch television alone if you want. I'm just going to get some sleep." I said in a calm voice, sitting at the edge of the bed. I rubbed my palms into my eyes.

Edward came into the room, hands in the pocket of his jeans as I pulled the comforter back. I wasn't really upset at him, but I was curious as to why he wanted to get away from me so suddenly. I sat on the sheets and drew the cover over my legs, worming my body under the cool sheets.

" I'm sorry about that. I just, had to..."

" Had to what?"

He shifted " Your leg on my leg, rubbing. Your hand. I-."

_Oh...OH!_

" Oh, Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to I was just doing that for comfort or whatever."

" I actually wanted to talk to you." he said, sitting on the side of the bed next to me.

" What?"

He kissed my forehead " Look, I know that I've been staying here for a few weeks because of the injury, but I've already gotten back to school, and I don't have my cast anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love being with you more then anything, but I think that I should start going back to live in my apartment. My parents sent money for last months rent because I couldn't work, but this Saturday I am going to be back on my schedule."

" Or you could just move in with me."

" Bella..."

" I was kidding. I know we aren't ready for that step, Edward. Look, do as you wish, but your always welcome here at anytime."

" Then...I guess I am going to head home."

I frowned " Can you stay, just for tonight."

" Yes, of course. I was hoping you'd ask."

He dropped his pants and I helped him get the shirt over his head. I grabbed his wrists and pushed forward, he fell ontop of me, his chest squished against mine. Edward chuckled and I leaned up to kiss him soundly.

" Mm, is this my farewell party?" he asked as I peppered kisses on his jaw.

" Oooh, you want a party."

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, and I wrapped mine around his neck, holding him as close to me as I could get. We didn't have to be kissing to just have a great time, just holding eachother was enough. His right hand rubbed over my night gown, up and down my spine soothingly.

I felt his lips touch the top of my head " I love you, Bella."

" I love you, too, Edward."

**Authors Note-** **So?...Worth the wait? Awful? WCE? (worse chapter ever) Leave your thoughts and click on the button right below this arrow.**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	42. Second First Time

**Authors Note- Hello everyone. Read on!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

February 23th

Saturday

EPOV

" Sure you can handle this table again?" Amber asked, quirking a brow at me

" They keep coming back! I don't know what those girls think they are getting out of this, but I think I should go and buy a fake wedding ring."

She smiled " Or you can actually get your girl over here. I bet she wouldn't mind showing them who you belong to."

I groaned, grabbing four menu's " I wish. Instead, she is at my apartment today, day off of work. I just want to get out of here. I haven't seen her for like a week, and that's long enough."

" You should take her to dinner here one day, I want to meet the girl that has you over the moon."

" One of these days. Well, best take care of those girls. Later."

" Good luck!"

When I got to the table of familar girls, I saw the two blondes, the busty red head and the dark haired brunette. Every girl was wearing probably the tightest dresses they had, the most expensive jewelery, and highest of heels.

The red head smiled at me " You again. We must be lucky."

I handed out the menu's and grabbed my pad of paper and a pen.

" What drinks can I start you out with."

They chattered off about Mango tea, water and two other girls were going to the bar to get cocktails for their meal. I jotted it down and quickly got their drinks, delivering it back to them. I asked them about their meal and they ordered exactly what they normally do.

I wasn't playing into their games, ignoring their little comments to me and just getting the job done. I waited two more tables as the four girls food cooked in the kitchen and were being prepared. I walked out with a coffee pot and filled up a few cups people had, also filling up drinks for some of the waiters and waitresses that were a little busy with whatever they were doing. If I kept myself busy, time would go by.

I couldn't wait until I was in my apartment, alone with Bella.

BPOV

Edward was working today, his shift starting in the afternoon. Last night I had taken a shift for Irina, it was her sons first Birthday and I offered because I wanted her to be there for her kid. I didn't get to see Edward, but I would see him tonight. He was going to be working tomorrow, but I needed to see him tonight because I missed him like hell this week.

Between writing papers and taking classes, things have been a little busy lately. I can only imagine what it will be like when I have to take my finals before summer. We get out Wednesday, May 16th for summer. I was very excited for the summer. We could go home and visit for a few days every few weeks, and just spend as much time with eachother as we wanted.

I still have been taking meds every once in awhile, the pain dulling already. In about a week I would probably be okay without the medicine and just move on from the accident and everything else.

I walked around his apartment and had done a little dusting a vacuuming for him. Around the evening I made myself a light dinner and then vegged on the couch for a little while. As the room grew darker and I laid on the couch, I decided to go sneak in Edward's closet and raid a shirt.

Sleeping in jeans and a shirt wasn't an option today, and I purposely forgot pajama's because I loved wearing Edward's clothes to bed, and he said that he liked me in his clothing. When I got to his bedroom, I padded towards the closet.

I fished through it until I stopped upon seeing something familar.

Edward football jersey.

He might be really into that.

I decided to take a chance and grabbed it from the hanger. I tossed off my shirt and shimmied out of my jeans. Underneath I had on a pair of my black lace boyshorts, and a matching bra. I slipped the jersey on, and it went down about mid-thigh.

Instead of going back to the living room. I laid ontop of his comforter, a movie on Starz playing on here. Which I think was Underworld: Rise of the Lycan's.

When I heard the apartment door opening and closing, a rush of excitement ran through me, and I just wanted to be in his arms so badly. Quickly I sprung off the bed and out of the bedroom. He set his keys on the counter and I ran towards him barefoot, wrapping my arms tightly around him.

" What in the hell? Are you seriously wearing that?" he asked, looking down at me and tugging at the hem.

" Do you not like it?"

" No, it's actually very sexy." he stated, turning me around to face him and putting his hands on my hips, staring down at me with greedy eyes. I rested my head on his chest and his hand gently raised up to brush through my long hair.

I smiled against his shirt " I was hoping so."

" I just want to go right to bed."

I pulled away from him, grabbing both of his hands " Did you eat?"

" Yeah, the chefs made me something before I left."

His hand traveled up my thigh and over my hip, grasping the hem of the t-shirt again. Edward wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and lifted me up in his arms. I laughed quietly as he carried me off towards his bedroom.

Once we were in his bedroom he set me down on his bed, backing me up towards the middle of the mattress as he crawled up my body. When we were level, he leaned down and pressed his warm lips against mine.

" How was work?"

" No work talk."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, moving my lips against his softly. His right arm wrapped around my waist and his left ran over my smooth thighs. The feeling of his hard body against mine was amazing and I never wanted to let him go.

His tongue ran over my bottom lip and I parted my lips for him. Our tongues mingled together with passion, his grip on my thigh becoming tighter. I tanged my hands in his thick bronze hair, tugging his head closer to mine.

Our teeth clashed together as our lips moved more furiously together.

I pushed against his shoulders and forced him on his back, straddling his waist with both of my hands around his wrists, like handcuffs. He smiled at me and I covered his lips once again with mine. At that moment I'd never wanted anything more then I wanted him in this moment.

" Mm, you really need to take this damn thing off." I mumbled, tugging at his shirt.

" Assist me, love?"

I sat up, my breathing uneven and heavy. My hands gripped the top of the shirt on both sides and I ripped down roughly. Buttons flew all over and Edward stared up at me with a shocked expression, his now ruined shirt laying limply on his sides.

Gently I laid against his side. He didn't even hesitate to lay back over me, laying me flat on my back. His hands slowly raised up the jersey, once he was over my stomach, he stopped at my bust and rested his head on my bare stomach.

" Your trying to kill me with what your wearing underneath this."

I ran my fingers through his hair " No, not kill you. Just make you want me."

" I already do."

He pulled at the jersey and pulled it over my head, my hair falling all around the pillow. His hand rested on the side of my face as he stared down at me, as if he were locking the image away as a memory to keep.

" Your so beautiful."

" Thank you." I said quietly, trying not to blush.

Edward nudged his lips against mine, kissing me softly. I hooked the back of my knee on his hip, my bare skin against fabric covered leg. He wrapped his free arm around my waist, pulling our chests flush against eachothers.

" Show me that you love me." I whispered against his lips.

He froze, and I immediatly regretted my words. I wanted to be with him again in such an intimate way, I almost missed it. But I had to wait for him, because obviously this was not what he wanted.

" Bella, I-"

I scooted away " No. No. Fuck, I'm really sorry. I just got a little lost in my feelings...Let me just get dressed and we can just sleep. Or I can just go home, that's probably be-"

He clamped his hand over my mouth, stopping me from speaking any further

" Just shut up for one minute, just a few minutes." he stated.

I nodded and he dropped his hand, pulling me into his arms. I felt awkward laying in his lap wearing the lace boyshorts and bra. He must of seen my embarassment because he handed me a blanket. I draped it over my lap, covering up my legs.

" Bella, I love you, so much. Please do not feel embarassed to voice what your feeling."

" I just...that night...I just can't stop thinking about it, it never disappears and god knows I have been restraining myself. But your just you, and I want to jump your bones all the time, I can't though. So really, just ignore me."

He put both of his hands on either side of my face " I can't ignore you. Beloved, I want you, too."

" Really?"

He groaned " Take a good look in the mirror. Your gorgeous and it's physically painful to pull away from you sometimes."

I tossed my head back and rested it on the mattress. Slowly he moved the blanket away, peeling it away from my body, his eyes not breaking contact with mine. He shifted over and laid on his side next to me, his hand gently cupping my jaw before he kissed me deeply.

Then, my phone rang.

" Please ignore it." he begged, pulling up to look at me.

His lips were above mine, touching just the slightest. With a groan I pressed my lips against his, the teasing being too much. I hated being teased by Edward and he very well knew that by now. Edward gently cradled my face with both of his hands, moving his soft lips over mine.

I slanted my mouth against his and ran my tongue over his bottom lip, begging for entrance. He opened his mouth and his tongue met mine, soft and warm. I tangled my hands in his hair as he moved his hands from my face, down over my waist to my hips.

My hands traveled over his bare skin, learning every line, curve and bump on his rock hard chest.

" Are we doing this or not?"

He gently kissed my neck, his green eyes still staring into my brown ones.

Slowly he nodded.

Dark, it was so gloriously dark in the room, and I loved it. My body wasn't sore as it was the last time I woke after a long night of...Edward. I felt less tension, and I was completely at ease and relaxed in the bed.

The dark, thick curtains were pulled closed tightly, barely any light in the room. When I reached for Edward, wanting to feel his skin against mine, I was met with cold sheets. I was laying ontop of the comforter, a blanket tossed carelessly over my body and really only covering my bottom half.

Then I realized that Edward had to work, and he was probably gone. My body flooded in disappointment, but we had responsibilities, it wasn't his fault. When I saw the bedroom door open, Edward walked through carrying a plate and two mugs. He was great at handling all this stuff in his hands.

" Good afternoon, love."

" Shouldn't you be working?"

He smiled " No, I was called about a half hour ago. They said that it was going really slow, but if it picked up this evening they would call. Either way I was going to beg Amber to let me have a free day."

Edward stepped into the room more and I took one of the cups of coffee from him. We both drank it the same way so it didn't exactly matter which cup I grabbed. He handed me a plate of breakfast and a fork.

" Do you want any of this?"

He kissed my forehead " No, I ate. But since you were sleeping I was going to come and surprise you."

" Why's that?"

A playful smile came over his face " Because your the best, and you definately deserved breakfast."

I grabbed a strip of the extra crispy bacon, the warm plate settled on my stomach. I made sure to cover my chest up, not wanting to give a show while I ate. He sat next to me, reading the paper and drinking coffee in bed, only wearing a pair of his black satin boxers.

The scrambled eggs were perfect, and the french toast was absolutely fabulous, I fed him a few pieces, knowing that he wanted some of it. When I finished with my breakfast, I thanked him and drank my coffee as I ran my hand through his hair.

When I heard my phone ring, I answered it this time. Edward had finished his cup and had his head resting on my stomach, drawing patterns on my thigh with his slim finger. I brought it to my ear after answering it, resting my head on the pillow.

" Hello?"

" Bella, sweetie. I tried calling you last night to talk, you never answered."

I sighed " I went to Edward's last night. We hadn't really seen eachother this week so I waited for him to come home from work. When he got home we talked for awhile and went to bed, I didn't hear my phone ringing and we had been already asleep."

" Okay, fine. Where are you now?"

" Edward's."

" What have you been up to?"

Edward's eyes closed as I tugged gently against his hair. He leaned over and kissed my hip, his eyelashes tickling the skin just a little.

" Nothing really. I just woke up and he made me breakfast, were just laying around doing nothing. How's work been going?"

" Great, things are going well. It's been really busy lately, the only time I see your father is when he gets home late and I'm already half asleep in bed." she said with a laugh.

" Is it busy at the station?"

" Yes, there was a shooting downtown at a local thrift store. They've been chasing the men responsible for awhile. Luckily they are going further away from where we are, not closer. But the county decided to let the state of Wisconsin take care of it because that's where they are definately headed. Unless it gets serious, Chicago Police Department won't be dealing with it anymore. Luckily nobody was killed, but three people were shot."

" That's not good, I'm sure they will be caught soon."

" Hows school been going?"

" Great, I'm so excited for break though. We can come down and visit, maybe you guys could come up for a few days or something, we'd like that. You and Esme can see where we have taken up residence."

She laughed " Sweetheart, do you even sleep at your apartment?"

" Yes, Edward and I only see eachother on Fridays and weekends. And we switch off depending on mood."

Suddenly Edward squeezed my side and I yelped in surprise, almost dropping the phone in the mess of sheets and pillows. I grasped it tightly and put it to my ear.

" What was that for? I'm on the phone."

" Isabella? Are you okay?"

I sighed " Yeah, Edward is just acting like a child...Edward! Stop it!"

The tips of his fingers ran over my stomach and thighs, which was very ticklish right now. I stifled noises that wanted to escape. I knew my mother would probably think something was wrong with me if I started laughing.

" I'm going to let you go, but I'll talk to you in a few days, okay, mom?"

" Okay, sweetie. Stay safe. I love you."

" You, too, mom."

I hung up the phone and reached back to set it on his end table. He kissed the skin over my ribs, his eyes on me still the whole entire time. I knew he was trying to be sweet right now so he wouldn't get in trouble.

" Your such a pest, but I love you."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my chest. " Sorry."

" We should get up. Shower and clothes. I need to go home and get some fresh clothes."

" No clothes, just bed. All day."

" I wish. Look, let me just take a shower. Dry sweat isn't very attractive." I said, ruffling his hair.

Edward frowned and released me, laying on his side with his head holding up his hand. His hair was crazy, and he looked gorgeous shirtless.

" It is to me."

" Sorry, love. I am going to shower. I'll clean the dishes first."

" No, no, no. I've got it taken care of. Just go ahead and hop in the shower."

He GOT off the bed, holding our empty coffee mugs and the plate he had my breakfast on. I wrapped the sheet around my body and sat up, jogging towards the bathroom door. I tossed the sheet out of the door and locked it, walking towards the shower.

I waited a few minutes until the water was warm and then hopped right in. I had to use Edward's shampoo, but it made my hair really silky so that was a plus. I used the Axe to wash my body and thanked god that I had showered yesterday afternoon, and my legs were still very smooth.

When I got out of the shower I wrapped one of his blue towels around my body. After drying my body I grabbed his robe and loosely tied it around my waist, using the towel to get some of the water from my hair.

I ruffled the damp hair for a moment before brushing my teeth. I scrubbed the bits of breakfast from my mouth, feeling refreshed from the minty flavor of the toothpaste. After thoroughly scrubbing my teeth, I looked through the drawers in the vanity, finding one of my black ponytails that I've left here. Edward probably had more of my ponytails here then I had at home. I combed my hair and tossed up the damp hair messily.

When I was finished and I stepped out of the bathroom, the bed was already made and the curtains were completely open, the room nice and bright. I walked out of the bedroom and saw Edward washing down the counters wearing only a pair of jeans.

" I smell like you, and I think I like it."

He looked up at me and smiled, then let his eyes look over my body. I saw his pink tongue run across his bottom lip.

" Stop ogoling." I said with a giggle.

Edward stepped around the counter and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning down to kiss my lips softly. I ran my hands up and down his back before he pulled away.

" I'm going to get in the shower. Some of your clothing is here, things you've left here and I just washed. I bet you can find an outfit."

I smirked " I'm still convinced that you stole my bra that night two weeks ago while I was sleeping. I could of sworn I had a bra on under that tanktop and sweater."

" I told you, Bella, you left that one here yourself. But I definately know there are a pair of panties here."

" I don't believe you, Cullen. Now go ahead and shower."

I smacked his ass when he walked passed me and he grabbed my ass when he turned back around. I kissed him soundly and watched him as he walked towards the bedroom to take his shower.

Being with him just seemed to be so easy, and we've never had a huge fight, or come to a rough patch, which I hoped would never happen. He was not only my lover, but my best friend. Edward was everything to me, and with things working out so great, it only made me hope for such great things in the future.

I went to the bedroom and rifled through his drawers. I found a midnight blue padded bra, just a plain one, and a pair of grey cotton panties. There were a pair of dark wash jeans, but there was no shirt there except for a tanktop, which I didn't want to wear today.

Edward had a very old Muse concert t-shirt, the one from junior high, before he got tall and muscly. I grabbed it and slipped it on. The shirt was a little baggy, but no too bad. I padded around barefoot in the apartment until he finished with his shower.

He was in the bathroom, the door open and was getting ready to shave. He globbed on shaving cream until it was covered on his face where it needed to be. I walked in quietly and hopped up on the counter infront of him.

" Can I?"

The look on his face was wary, and a little bit scared.

" I don't really want a cut up face, love. Be very careful."

" Your my most prized possession, I could never hurt you." I teased, taking the razor from his hand and running it under hot water.

He stepped between my open legs and I brought it up to his face, running it over his sharp jaw, being very careful not to slice his skin. After getting a streak of smooth, pale skin, I did some more on the lower half of his face. I hummed quietly as I shaved off another part of his stubble.

" I like your stubble. It gives you character."

" I don't. It makes me look dirty."

I giggled and rinsed off the razor " Wouldn't want that now would we?"

Once I had finished shaving his face, quite well if I might say, Edward dressed for the day. He didn't let me help him with that, but we can't all win. When he finished dressing, he came out of the bedroom and sat next to me on the couch to cuddle.

He completely wrapped himself around me, his finger lazilytwirling a lock of hair. I reached for my dragonfruit vitamin water, letting Edward take a swig before I took a drink and set it down. They were having a LOST marathon on the FOX channel and Edward was taking advantage of that.

" Are you still tired, beloved?" he asked me, my head pillowed on his chest with a blanket tossed over me.

The truth was, yes, I was exhausted. Edward hadn't kept me up all night, but I had a bit of trouble falling back asleep. I hadn't really gotten much sleep and today was exactly what I needed, just a day to relax.

" Yeah, I can get off you if you want. It's probably not very comfortable for you, I can just go in the bedroom and sleep."

" No, stay put. Bella, don't be afraid to nap on the couch with me when I am watching television."

He picked up my hand and rested it on his stomach.

" How has you head been doing?"

" Okay. When the meds are gone I can just stop taking them completely."

Edward kissed the top of my head as I snuggled into him, enjoying the warmth of his body against mine as he held me closely.

" Feeling cuddly today?" he asked.

I kissed his clothed chest " When I am with you, I always want to be close. Is that bad?"

" Most definately not. Your so warm...I never really thought about this, you and I. Before we got together, I never thought of this."

I stared up at him.

" It never used to cross my mind, but I don't know, even before we got together, around New Years...I had very not just friendly thoughts, I just convinced myself that they were wrong. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up the past."

" Edward, It's okay. You've always talked to me about everything, always tell me how you feel. Okay? I really don't mind, I love listening to you."

" Your way too good for me, beloved."

I hummed " I think the exact opposite, Mr. Sexy."

He ran his fingers through my hair " So long. I've secretly loved your long curly hair."

" Oh, it's no secret."

" Am I bad and hiding them?"

" Your hands are always in my hair, or just running over it. When we were like...I dont know fourteen, you started to sleep with your hands touching my hair."

Edward kissed my forehead " You've always had such pretty hair. Always long. I would be heartbroken if you ever cut it."

" Well, don't ever piss me off because that's what I would do if you did. Cut it right to the shoulders."

" Shoulders? No."

" I've always wanted to do that, just to feel so light. It's sometimes annoying to wash all this and mess with it."

" Well, I'll wash it for you if you ever consider chopping it off. I can take care of all of it for you."

I smiled up at him " Edward, you know that I'll be getting it cut for the summer. No way I am keeping it so long in the heat."

He frowned " Okay, we'll get it cut the night of a full moon."

" Why?"

" Because they say that your hair grows faster if you get it cut on a day that has a full moon at night."

I rolled my eyes at him.

What a silly boy.

**Authors Note- This was basically just a fillerish chapter, but don't get too comfortable, drama is coming.**

**All I need, is for all of you to trust me, stick with me, and ride this out before you decide to leave. I hope this doesn't scare you, but a few things come up next. Trust me, please.**

**Click the button right below this arrow and tell me your thoughts!**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	43. Shocking

**Authors Note- Read end notes.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

April 11th

Friday

EPOV

Everything had been going relatively well, with school, work, and Bella. I'm basically back to normal after the accident back home in Chicago, and I was glad that I was finally back to my regular everyday routines. While it was fun living with my girlfriend for awhile, we both know that living together isn't best so early in a romantic relationship.

School has been going fine, classes are a little difficult at times but I keep my grades up and make sure that I study so I am able to pass my classes. I wasn't going to slack off in college, it's for education, not a party.

Things with Bella have been going absolutely great ever since I told her that I loved her, and she just glowed with happiness everytime that we saw eachother. I was so happy to see her smiling, making her happy was all that I needed. Our relationship had been taken up a level a while ago, and we'd finally made love once again since the night she had come back. I would never get over the feelings that overcame me when I was with Bella in such an intimate way.

Working has been stable, except for the random days I get off or have to work extra. I felt very accomplished that I am able to care for myself, such as paying rent for the apartment and paying for food, electronics and water.

Bella has been swamped with work and school, and the last weekend I saw her she was tired the whole time and starving. I felt bad for her, but I knew that she would be okay. Bella is a strong girl, and I have absolutely no doubt inside my mind that things won't ease up. She's always been okay when things became hectic.

Spring is here, and all of the ghastly snow is melted and gone from our sights, and I was starting to enjoy warmer weather, because then I can finally start riding my motorcycle more, and I'd missed that during the winter.

Today I was going over to Bella's, her shift was cancelled because Irina insisted that she take a break and just come in on Sunday. With her other co-worker on maternity leave, Bella was just working and working. I had to work tomorrow afternoon, but there was no way that I was missing out on a chance to be with Bella.

I walked out of my last class, seeing Ben walking down the sidewalk holding a cup of coffee.

" Hey man. How's it going?" he asked, walking up to me.

I swung my bag over my shoulder.

" Good, things have been going really great. School is a bitch, but I'm doing alright."

" Cool, Ange and Bella have been going out to lunch recently. Those girls have been getting attached at the hip."

I smiled " Good, Bella really doesn't have any girlfriends, well, ones that she can see routinely. I think she misses seeing her old friends, new are always good."

" Yes. I mean Angela and Kelly were okay friends, but that girl is bringing guys in and out. I don't think I want her hanging around a girl like that."

With a chuckle I nodded " Yeah. Bella is pretty...guarded when it comes to people. She was pretty burned by someone she thought was a friend, though they are on better terms...She's been through alot, and it's sad to say that I was an issue awhile ago."

We walked towards the edge of the campus, where the cars were parked.

" Really? You both are so perfect together it seems."

" Well, back in highschool Bella had a thing for me, actually when we were in London. I had a girlfriend, we broke up. Long story short she told me she had feelings for me but I was a confused jackass and she left for the summer before college. We got together when she came back, but alot of shit went down in that time."

" That's, too bad. Well, atleast things are going better for both of you guys, right?"

" Oh, yeah. Things are really great, I hope that won't change anytime soon."

He laughed and patted my shoulder " Yeah. Well, I'll catch you later, I've got to head home."

I bid him goodbye and went to my next class, which was my business class. I really was interested in my classes, which is a good thing. The last thing I needed was to be totally bored in my classes. Some of the teachers were really hard asses, because some kids really slacked off and joked around, but I knew that he appreciated students that were serious about this.

Once I was done with my classes I headed to my apartment to get some of my homework done before I went over to see Bella.

BPOV

I'd been feeling a little off for the past couple of weeks, like I had a cold or something. Ontop of working like crazy and studying for class, I was exhausted and hungry and all I wanted to do was lay in a dark room in a soft bed, preferably with my sexy boyfriend. I was tired of classes and I could not wait to the middle of May, when I could finally be on break.

It's already April, and I normally do not struggle with colds or allergies, I mostly get full blown flu's, but I knew that this was not the case. I felt different, weird and almost having and out of body feeling. Something was shifting inside me.

I almost knew what was wrong with me, but I had to make sure. I didn't believe it, but why not give it a shot so I could just call this out out as wrong. Atleast I hoped that it was wrong, it couldn't happen now

The whole day today I was slinking through classes, just dying to get home. I've never been so happy to be called by Irina, saying that she would have Eleazar take my shift so that I could get rest. She knew that I was not feeling so hot lately and said for me to take this evening and tomorrow to restore myself so that I could feel better.

I had money for this months rent, it had been paid yesterday and I was already well on my way towards next months rent, which made me extremely happy that I could accept today off of work. School was going okay, no tests so there was nothing much to study for, I could just spend the weekend mostly with Edward.

As I drove around New York, my thoughts scrambled around in my head as I tried to put them all together. I pulled up to the CVS pharmacy and got out of the car lazily, holding my wallet in my hand, walking towards the automatic doors to find my fate.

EPOV

I drove to her apartment, and took my key out of my pocket when I parked on the curb, her car was here so she was definately home. I walked up the steps and opened the door, shutting it behind me and locking it right back up. I jogged up the next set of stairs and grabbed her apartment key, shoving it in the keyhole and twisting it. I opened the door and shut it behind me, locking the door behind me.

What I heard a second later, had not made me feel very happy inside.

She definately was getting sick with something.

I put my school bag down and tossed my keys on the counter as I walked towards the bathroom. I found her leaning over the toliet, holding her hair back and wretching violently into the toliet. Quickly I went to her and knelt on the floor, taking her hair from her grip and gently rubbing her back with my hand.

" Sweetheart? Do have that terrible stomach flu again. Do you feel warm? Cold?"

She shook her head and wiped her mouth, quickly flushing the toilet. I felt her holding my hand tightly, and the expression on her face told me that something was indeed wrong, but I could not for the life of me figure out what could be wrong if she wasn't sick with a cold.

As Bella went to open her mouth and say something, she lurched forward and more of her stomachs contents were in the toilet, though it was alot of stomach acid and I knew that it tasted bad and it burned. I kissed the back of her sweaty neck and kept rubbing her back, wanting to make her feel better in anyway that I possibly could.

I smoothed her hair back and saw her hand reach up the grab the side of the sink, her knuckles turning white from how hard that she was gripping it. I reached my hand up to grab her hand from it's vice grip on the sink.

That's when I saw it.

That's when I saw the one thing that would change my life.

I stood up quickly, dropping her hair carelessly and picked all three of them up, staring at them wide-eyed as panic seeped through my entire being. I could still hear her wretching in the toilet, but that didn't exactly make it on the top of my thoughts at the time. I was too focused on what was infront of me.

A smiley face.

A pink plus

An equal sign

All of that changed everything.

" Edward, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."

And she was apologizing for something that was not really her fault.

I had no idea what to say, I couldn't even open my mouth to tell her it wasn't her fault.

I heard the flush of a toilet and listened quietly as she brushed her teeth. I stood, holding the three positive pregnancy tests. When she finished she was staring at me, and she took them out of the hands and wrapped her arms around herself, staring down at her flat stomach.

" I didn't lie to you about taking the pill Edward, I swear I do. It's ninety nine point nine percent effective...I..."

I knew she was crying, I could tell by the way she was talking. Her voice was strained and cracking. Suddenly I felt her hand touch mine gently.

" Edward...Please just say something. I don't care if you want to yell at me, just say something."

" What are we going to do?" I asked, sounding as panicked as I felt.

She was about to talk, but I cut her off.

" We haven't even finished our first year of college and your dad...He is going to _kill _me. And my parents are going to be so disappointed! Dad is going to disown me and I... I'm nineteen! I can't be a dad, I'm not fit to be a dad. I can't even keep a fish alive let alone another human, and babies...They have to eat, they need a crib, a changing table...and diapers! I don't know how to change a diaper! And I'll have to quit college and be a waiter for the rest of my life. I don't want to do that?"

Her face fell, as if her life was crashing all around her. I heard a small sob escape her and I was quickly snapped back into reality.

I wasn't the only person who would have to deal with all this shit. Bella would have to carry this child.

" Bella, what are we going to do? We can't do this, but we can't just get rid of it, it's not right."

I wrapped my arms around her slim waist and pulled her shaking body against mine.

" I'm scared." she whispered.

" I am, too, baby."

She buried her face against my neck and I lifted her feather light form into my arms, holding her close against my chest. I brought her to the couch and let her curl up into me while I held her, staring down at her stomach.

We didn't even say a word, just held eachother as we kept to our thoughts. I could feel her tears soaking my shirt and a sob would escape her every few minutes. I knew that my own silent tears were on the skin of her neck and probably in her hair that I had my fingers buried in.

How could Bella and I take care of a kid when we were still kids ourself. We should have been more careful, used condoms ontop of her taking birthcontrol, but we didn't care, it didn't matter now because what's done is done and there would be no going back.

Never could I ever tell her to terminate the pregnancy, knowing that I would be killing something that is a part of myself and Bella, would eat at me for the rest of my life.

It would be one less person in the world to smile.

Two eyes that we would never see.

Two legs that would never walk.

And a voice that would never get to speak.

I wasn't ready to be a father by any means, but I knew that I would try to be the best one for our child. There was a little tiny person inside of the person that I loved most in this world, I had to be a great father.

Bella lifted her head and tipped my head up, meeting my teary eyes to hers. Her hand ran through my messy hair with a thoughtful look on her beautiful face.

" How can we do this?"

" We'll figure it out, beloved. It'll be okay, I promise."

She sniffed once and I tangled my hands further in her hair, pressing my lips against her temple. Bella leaned against my chest for a moment before pulling away.

" You need a fresh shirt." she stated, standing up.

" Bella, do-"

But she was already gone and darting towards the bedroom. I sighed and unbuttoned my white button up, tossing the damp shirt over the coffee table and running my hands roughly over my face. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I looked up, taking the black t-shirt from her hand. Instead of letting me put it on, she straddled my lap and put her arms around me, gripping my back with her small hands.

I was a little taken back but I wrapped my arms around her none-the-less.

After a moment she pulled away and I slipped the t-shirt on before taking her back in my arms and holding her. I smoothed the wrinkle on her forehead and she relaxed, it was only one short moment before she shot up.

" Bella, wha-"

She clamped her hand over her mouth and was jogging away. I followed her slowly and she was once again in the bathroom. Luckily she had put her hair up in a messy bun thing, so it wasn't falling everywhere.

" Oh, love."

" Go away. I don't want you to watch." she said before lurching forward once again.

I felt terrible that she was experiencing this, it was of my creation that was making her do this.

" Bella, please let me be here."

" Just...Go into the living room and watch television or something." she said, sounding like she had a bad cold.

" You expect me to sit on a couch and watch television, while my girlfriend is throwing up because of something that is my fault."

I stepped forward and grabbed a kleenex, wiping the tears off her cheeks. I sat with her until she was finished and let her brush her teeth before sweeping her up and carrying her off to bed. Once she was settled in, I saw as she braided her hands together and rested them on her stomach.

" I should probably call a doctor...Make sure that things are going okay." she stated quietly.

" Yeah, of course."

" Then we have to call our parents. There's no way we could fly out now and if we wait until after school then they will be angry that we waited to tell them."

I nodded in understanding " I think that way would be better. Less chance of being killed."

She laughed, and it was the most beautiful noise. I didn't want her to be sad.

" I wouldn't let them kill you. Please take this off." she said, tugging at my shirt.

" Then why did you bother getting another if you want me shirtless."

" Because...Well, your too sexy for your own good and I didn't think it would be the best time to jump you."

I almost blushed, but I smiled at her instead and leaned forward to kiss her forehead quickly before pressing my forehead against hers. I grabbed her hand and stared deep into her chocolate eyes.

" Everything will be great, I promise."

" How do you know that? Were barely adults ourselves, how can we take care of a baby? How can we be good parents?"

" We've grown up with great parents. Bella, they will help us out when it comes to knowing what to do. Right now, lets just focus of getting to a doctor and we can go from there."

She nodded " Okay.."

I nudged my lips against hers and she leaned up, pressing her lips more firmer to mine. I moved my lips against hers softly, letting my tongue slide with hers in a sweet kiss. We laid together for awhile, kissing eachother languidly until we were literally breathless

" I love you." I murmured.

" I love you, too." she answered.

I rested my hand on her upper thigh and pulled her towards me, letting half her body rest over mine. Her head rested on my neck, and she kissed my adams apple before resting where she laid.

April 19th

Saturday

BPOV

Edward held my hand tightly as we walked into the cool building. I really did not want to have to do this, I did not want this at this time of my life. I'm not ready for it, at all, but I have to face it head on and deal with our consequences.

He clicked the elevator button and I tapped my foot nervously until the metal doors opened and we stepped in, clicking the button for the fourth floor. I turned into his chest.

" I don't want to do this, I can't do this, Edward. I'm not ready."

Gently he ran his fingers through my hair, I could tell that he was just as nervous as I was feeling at this time. I wasn't the only one who wasn't ready for all of this. It had to be done, it had to be.

" We need to make sure that everything is going okay with the baby, and get you on vitamins and things. Bella, you can't skimp out on things when it comes to he or she's health."

I felt terrible for sounding like I didn't even care about the baby. It wasn't that I didn't care, I was so intensely scared that I just didn't want to do anything about it at the moment.

" I'm sorry I sound like I don't care...Edward, I'm just scared."

" I know, love, but we have to take care of the baby first and then deal with our problems."

When we walked out of the elevator and down a long hall, we stopped at a door that had; Dr. Kari Hemmingway in black letters on the frosted glass doors. I tightened my grip on his hand and he opened the door, letting me through first before himself.

I was right about to run out of there when I saw a very pregnant girl who looked to be about sixteen. Edward pulled me forward towards a desk where a girl sat in a chair on a computer.

" We have an appointment at two this afternoon for Isabella Swan with Dr. Hemmingway." Edward said in a business-like tone.

" Yes, just sign your name and take a seat until your name is called." the lady said, talking to me.

I lifted the pen with a shaky hand and signed my name sloppily before slinking into a chair with my knee's against my chest. There were so many pregnant women in here that it freaked me out, I was so fucking scared, not as scared as I was after the accident on New Years, but about a step back from that kind of scared.

" Please calm down, your going to make me as nervous as you are." he said, kissing my temple.

I took a deep breath and rested my forehead on my knee's, trying to keep myself calm.

We sat there for about twenty minutes until I heard my name. Edward held my hand as we walked down a long hall with linoleum floor as a nurse led us. We walked around for awhile until she put us in a room and let us take a seat.

" Okay, I just have to ask you a few questions before the doctor gets here."

" Sure."

" Date of Birth?"

" September 13th, 1988."

" Weight and height?"

" Around one hundred, one hundred and ten. I am Five, four"

" Do you take any prescription medication?"

" No, I do not."

She nodded " Okay, and when was your last menstrual cycle?"

" It stared February 26th, and lasted six days."

I felt entirely too embarassed to talk about this infront of Edward, though he just rubbed my knee reassuringly and rubbed my shoulder.

" Alright, and when did you start feeling off, or getting sick."

" Around the end of March is when I started feeling a little off. The Tuesday before last is when I started to get the sickness in the morning, and recently it has also been in the evenings, I can't exactly keep any food down right now and I have been very tired."

" Of course. Now I am just going to take your temperature and blood pressure, check your heart and lungs, just to make sure your completely healthy."

Everything seemed to be normal as she said when she was finished, and while I was still nervous, I felt a little better about the whole entire situation then I did when we first walked into this building. When she left the room, she told us the doctor would be in very soon and shut the door.

" Are you okay?" Edward asked.

" Yeah, I'm okay."

" Are you sure, beloved?"

I nodded. " Yes...Look, Edward, I am nervous as hell but I can't let take over me because I can't spend nine months depressed, nervous and anxiety ridden." I murmured.

A few minutes later someone walked through the door. She was wearing a pair of black slacks, a pair of very fancy heels, a red blouse and a white lab coat with a nametag on the breast pocket, reading; Dr. K. Hemmingway. Her hair was blonde and her eyes were a light brown and she was quite fair skinned like Edward and I.

When she saw us a smile graced her face. She sat on a rolling stool and introduced herself before before she looked over my chart briefly.

" Okay, so you've been feeling off for about three weeks now, vomitting started two weeks ago. Have you been experiencing brief dizziness every once in awhile?"

" Yeah." I mumbled.

" It's not too early to have cravings...It sounds like from here that you are pregnant, you have a lot of the symptoms. Very tired, hungry, vomiting and dizziness. It says here that you are nineteen, is that correct?"

She really didn't look like she was judging me in any way.

" Yeah."

" I am guessing that this wasn't exactly planned?" she asked, taking a bottle of something out of a drawer.

Edward cleared his throat " Not exactly, but we have to do what we have to do."

She smiled " I have alot of teens in here that are pregnant, and while some are a little careless, there are some who are very understanding about everything, and know that they have to deal. I bet everything will be just fine. I'm just going to do an ultrasound and if I don't see anything, we will do a bloodtest, but I don't want to have to do one if I don't exactly need to, so lets check this out."

The doctor had a machine by the bed, and she encouraged me to lay down. Now I was nervous. Edward sat in the chair close to the bed and rested his chin on my shoulder.

" It's okay, Bella. No worries."

I nodded and the Dr. Hemmingway lifted up my shirt to reveal my flat stomach. She turned on the machine and picked up the ultrasound device where it would show the sonogram picture. She picked up the bottle she had taken out a few moments before and squirted clear blue gel on my stomach. I jumped from the coldness.

" Sorry, it's a little cold." she warned.

" Yeah, I figured that out." I said with a laugh.

When she pressed device against my stomach the screem on the machine came alive with a small buzz before a loud thumping noise filled the room. I knew I was crying by the time I looked at the screen.

I looked at Edward and saw him staring at my neck, not the screen.

" Edward, look."

She pointed to the screen, a little black dot was there, floating around inside of me.

" This is the baby. From what it looks, you are indeed about four weeks into the pregnancy, which makes your due date in the beginning of January. He or she's heartbeat is very strong and healthy sounding. Nice and steady, which is perfect."

I kissed Edward's forehead " Just look, Edward."

He clenched his eyes shut tightly before opening them and looking at the screen. She ran the ultrasound device over my stomach, letting Edward look before she cleaned it off and put it away. She handed me a warm, wet cloth and I wiped off my stomach, getting rid of the gel so I could put my shirt down.

" Well, Isabella, I think we are all set. I will have my receptionist book you another appointment in a month, and give you a list of prenatal vitamins that you will need. I really look forward to being your doctor, Isabella."

I smiled " Thank you for everything."

" Your welcome. Just take it easy, focus on the baby and I will see you next month."

She shut the door behind her and I looked at Edward, who had been so quiet. He was sitting in the chair, and I moved off the exam table and knelt on the floor infront of his knee's. I didn't care that the floor was dirty at this moment, all I cared about was Edward.

" Talk to me, Edward."

" It's so... real."

He stood me up and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, but not too tightly. I knew that he was probably worried about crushing me, or...the baby.

" We have a baby." he whispered.

" I know."

When we walked out of the room, we went back to the waiting room and booked an appointment for May 18th at twelve. The lady took a few minutes and handed me a very short list of vitamins, there were about three named on the list. Once we were finished Edward walked us out, holding my hand tightly.

Upon getting in the car, we sat there for awhile, Edward was just staring at the gear shift.

" We have to tell them this weekend."

" Yeah?"

" I'll tell my parents, you tell yours."

I nodded " Yeah. We can call them sometime tomorrow."

On the way home we stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some of the over the counter vitamins. We went to his apartment, and I was really hungry at that point and Edward made us sandwiches to eat for lunch.

" I'm really tired, is it okay if I take a nap?" I asked him.

He looked distracted, and something was troubling him " Yeah, go ahead."

I'd never felt so out of sync with him as I did in that moment

**Authors Note- Here is the chapter. The next one should be up in a half hour, since most of you read this one.**


	44. Untold Feelings

**Authors Note- There was a family Birthday today, I'm sure you understand why this is late.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

I wasn't able to fall asleep for my nap, instead I just hugged my comforter to my chest and let the tears fall. Edward hadn't come into the bedroom, and I hadn't heard him move around much. He didn't want this, and I knew it for a fact.

Edward probably wanted out, but knew that he couldn't because he'd always been there, and at this point there was no choice. He felt stuck and he was scared to tell me because I would get upset. I knew how he worked.

I didn't want this pregnancy any more than he does, but it's here and it's happening so I have to deal with it. There was a small baby in my stomach right now and I had to take care of it. I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror if I aborted this baby, killing something that is a part of Edward and I would be horrifying.

My eyes flashed with images of a little Edward with brown eyes. A little crooked smile and the crazy bronze hair, sticking up in many directions on his small head. A small smile came to my face and I moved my left hand to my stomach, sighing.

I used my other hand to wipe the tears that fell, not wanting to get my pillow soaked with my tears.

The hardest part would be telling our parents, I knew that my father would go crazy and tell me to get back to Chicago, and my mother would be beyond herself in anger, telling me that I was so careless. Of course they both would be pissed that we had been having sex.

Esme...Well, I think that she would be the most understanding out of everyone. Esme is such a calm gentle person, and I think Carlisle may be upset, but similar to Esme in a way. Edward's parents are so much more calm and understanding then mine are, which is a reason why I am so glad that I grew up with them.

" Bella, what's wrong?"

I was broken out of my thoughts by Edward's voice. He sat at the side of the bed, brushing my hair away from my face and wiping the tears off my face with a kleenex.

" I don't expect you to stay. You don't want this." I stated quietly.

His face was a mask of shock, " You think I would leave you?"

" At the doctors office you didn't even want to look. I know that this is a terrible time but could you atleast try and talk about it. Your life is not the only one that is about to change. I'm the one having this baby, I'm the one that's going to have to put school on hold to take care of this baby."

" I know that!" he said, his voice raising " I'm not completely oblivious! Right now, I am a little freaked out about everything. I'm nineteen, I still want to be a kid and I want to be able to be carefree. But I can't do that because I am going to be a parent. I am going to have to care for this child and pay for the expenses for my child."

All I heard was the ' I ' in the sentence's he spoke. He was acting like all that was on him now, he didn't get it at all. I wiped the fresh tears and got up from the bed.

" Where are you going?"

" I can't do this right now."

I slammed the bathroom door behind me and leaned against it, sliding to the floor and taking a deep breath. I couldn't talk about it anymore, it was only stressing both of us out further. I heard him knock on the door.

" Bella, open the door."

...

" I don't want to fight with you, love. Bella, I love you and let's just take it day by day and deal with things along the way. I don't want you to be stressing out, it's not good for you or the baby. Please just open the door now, you can't sit in there alone."

...

" Please, Izzy B

I begrudgingly unlocked the door, not wanting to really sit in here forever. At this time, I needed Edward more then I ever have in my entire life. He was always there in the important parts of my life, and I especially couldn't shut him out when it came to our baby.

He sat next to me on the floor, holding me tightly in his arms. I curled up against his side.

" You need to take that nap." he murmured.

" No, it's okay."

" I need one, too."

Edward lifted me up into his arms as if I were a pound. We got into the bedroom and he set me down, kissing my lips softly before laying next to me. Our foreheads were pressed together, hands clasped between us and legs tangled together under the blanket.

For a moment he sat up and kicked his jeans off, throwing his shirt on the floor. I slid out of my jeans and unbuttoned my green top. I threw it along side Edward clothes and laid contently in his arms, placing a kiss on his adams apple.

His hands slid over my arms and his lips pressed under my jaw, tipping my head back gently. I melted into him, my body slack against him as he kissed my neck.

" I would never leave you, Bella. You mean, too, much to me and I am way to crazy about you to let you go." he murmured against my neck.

" I-I-I...I'm gonna be sick."

I meant to say that I loved him, but when I felt my stomach start to twist, I knew that I was about to vomit, and I sure as hell was not going to get sick in here. Quickly I dashed to the bathroom and released the contents of my stomach in the toilet.

" Shit! Can't you give me a break." I whined, wiping my mouth.

Then I realized that I was actually talking to the person inside me. That was odd, but I was it's...mother. I was still digesting the fact that I was carrying a baby, and now I was already calling myself a mother and freaking myself out further.

I brushed my teeth very thoroughly, twice, getting every place in my mouth before rinsing with listerine twice and spatting it out in the sink. I went back into the bedroom and saw Edward laying above the covers, wearing only his black silk boxers.

" Sorry I di-"

" It's fine." I interrupted " I don't expect you to get up _every _time my stomach decides that it's done holding food."

I hopped on the bed, settling myself on Edward's stomach as he stared up at me.

" Will you still love me if I look like a whale?" I asked quietly.

He chuckled " A whale? I doubt it, but I will always love you."

I leaned down and blew my minty breath over his face.

" I brushed my teeth twice and rinsed with mouth wash. Fresh?"

" Always."

My hair curtained around me, falling around Edward's face as well. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my chest against his. Our lips met, eager and passionate. His hands ran over my smooth, lotioned legs gripping the skin firmly. His tongue massaged mine softly, our lips moving quickly together.

I ran my hands over his sculpted chest, feeling a thin sheet of sweat on his skin. I pulled away from his lips and kissed over his heart. He didn't seem to like that I pulled away because he immediatly started kissing me again.

After a long while of kissing, I was absolutely exhausted.

Edward apparently was able to keep going because after I got off of him, he was on me. I rested my hands on his chest and leaned away from him, burying myself deeper into the mattress.

" I really want to take a nap." I murmured against his eager lips.

" More kissing."

I closed my lips and kissed him chastely before pushing him gently off. He laid against my side and looked down at me, his green eyes sad.

" Don't look at me like that. I am so tired!"

He sighed " You totally owe me."

" Actually, you owe me. I am carrying your spawn." I grumbled, pulling the blanket over myself.

" Spawn? I bet it's going to be like a drunk on stairs, and that doesn't come from me Miss. Graceful."

I slapped his shoulder " Shut up, that was not nice."

He wrapped his arms around me securely and I closed my eyes, dying for the nap that I had wanted earlier.

April 26th

1 Week Later

Ring.

_Don't answer_

Ring.

_Don't answer._

Ri-

" Bella, what a surprise. How are you doing?"

Edward held me against his chest as I held my cellphone to my ear. I took in a deep breath and answered her.

" Okay, I'm doing great mom. How are you?" I asked, stalling.

" Great! We just got back from dinner and Carlisle and Esme are here with us. Is everything okay, Isabella?"

I cleared my throat " Actually, I have some news to tell you. Actually, all of you."

She was quiet for a moment " Would you like me to put you on speaker, make it easier?"

I looked up at Edward and put the phone between us so that he could hear the conversation also.

" Yeah, that's fine." I said.

There was one click before she told me that everyone could hear me. My hands shook slightly and Edward's hand rested on my knee, rubbing softly to keep me calm. His lips pressed against my head and I took a deep breath.

" I found out about a week ago that I'm pregnant."

Not only was I terrified that I was pregnant, but it's a whole other story telling our parents that I am pregnant. It was a very scary moment. I had no idea how they were all going to react to my news. I only hoped that I had someone's support. And if I didn't, I still have Edward.

It was very quiet, so I decided to speak up once again.

" We didn't mean for it to happen, we'd been taking care of it to make sure nothing would happen. A few weeks ago I started getting sick. I went to the doctor, took tests. I'm was already a month along last week when they did the ultrasound."

It was quiet.

" I know that this won't be easy, but we need support right now." Edward stated.

" I'm to young to be a grandma!" I heard my mother screech loudly.

" Is that all you have to say?" I asked, my voice cracking.

Edward held me to his side, smoothing my hair back. I rested my head on his chest, taking a deep breath. They were still didn't say anything to us, all I could hear was the sound of their hushed whispers. We sat, curled up on the couch waiting for them to say something.

" I'm disappointed that you both were irresponsible." Carlisle stated.

" Dad, she was on the pill. Did you think we expected me be the damn point one?"

" Calm down, son."

" I'm going to fly up there, Isabella. We are going to take you home and you can stay with us. Edward can continue with school." My father said gruffly

What the fuck?

" What? You think I am going to leave him here in New York while I deal with this away from him. I have school, other things to take care of. My job!"

" You should of thought of that before you got yourself into this situation!" he bellowed.

" But, dad, I-"

" No, Isabella!" my mother shouted. " No more. This is all of your fault, and you have to deal with your mistakes."

Edward brushed my tears away " Apparently this conversation can't be held calmly. We'll call in a few days after you digest all of this. Nobody has the right to yell to Bella about something that isn't her fault."

I heard protests as he hung up the phone and I covered my face with my hands, crying. It was my fault. My mistake. When my crying turned into sobbing, Edward pulled my hands away from my face, looking at me sternly.

" Bella, you can't do this to yourself. This isn't good for the baby, and it's not good for you. We are in a bad situation right now, and we just need to stay calm. I promise everything will be okay."

" It won't! As they said, it's all my fault. If we had just keep it in our damn pants until marriage then none of this would have been such a big deal. They were right, it's wrong to do anything before marriage, and I-"

His hand clamped over my mouth.

" Bella, we are nineteen, and it is perfectly okay to want eachother like we do, and to fill that need. Shit, happens okay. And it seems to happen to us alot, but regretting everything now is only going to make us feel more shitty. There is a damn baby in your stomach, and there is nothing that we can do about it! So can you stop with the whole sex and marriage thing. It doesn't matter anymore, it stopped mattering the night we first had sex."

I stilled, taking in everything that he was saying, and realizing that Edward was right.

Freaking out about the sex before marriage issue was not even plausible right now. It was already past us and it was okay to want him. He wanted me, too. I felt as if everything were on me, I didn't want a child so young, I'm still a kid. I want to be able to have fun with Edward without worrying that the baby was hungry, or needed a diaper change, or was fussy.

I didn't want to be quiet because our baby was sleeping, I wanted it to be just Edward and I. I wanted to get married, enjoy being newlyweds and go on a long honeymoon where we had absolutely nothing to worry about. To go out to clubs, dance, drink and...get drunk with my boyfriend because I just want to.

I knew that I sounded horrible for saying this as such, but what person in my situation wouldn't miss being so carefree, being a young adult. I've not been living on my own for a year, and I already find myself struggling with what I am going to do with life, when my plan had already been foiled.

" What are we going to do, really, Edward?"

" I don't know. But we will figure it out. Let's just be happy for the good things. Both of us have jobs, stable ones, and school is almost over, also the baby is fine and healthy. Those things, are all that matters. We have to focus on the good and just...look past all of the negatives."

I nodded, knowing that what he was saying was entirely right.

I was now a little over a month along, and now all I had to focus on was school, work, Edward and the baby. It felt weird mentioning the baby, it was a new experience, something to get used to. Eventually we got off of the couch and I made us dinner, trying to stay calm.

As I stirred noddles, I felt Edward's arms wrap around me from behind, his lips gently kissing my neck.

" I'm making dinner." I murmured.

" Skip dinner?"

" No, I'm actually really hungry, so I want some food."

He kissed my cheek and went into the living room, sitting on the couch and flipping the television on. I rolled my eyes.

" Is sitting all you know how to do?"

" I could show you other things, but your too busy making dinner."

I sighed " Well, can you come over here and stir the sauce while I put the chicken in the oven."

" Nah."

" Fine, no dinner for you. Want the phone so you can order a pizza?"

" You don't play fair."

I put the knife down and stared at him " Want to know whats not fair? It's not fair that I have to be spending two hours worth of time throwing up everyday. It's not fair that even know I feel like shit, I have to attend classes. It's also not fair that I have angry parents because of this, and it's not fair that I have to work, study and make damn dinner for my boyfriend and I, while he sits on the couch watching television when his pregnant girlfriend does all the work, when he is the one that got me into this situation!"

Immediatly he stood up and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. I kept my arms at my side, still a little miffed at him for not helping me with the dinner.

" I'm sorry, love. Here, let me help okay. Your right, and I didn't mean to upset you."

" Can you put a little bit of garlic and basil in the sauce, it needs more, and a teaspoon of sugar."

" Of course."

The chicken was already grilled with the breading on, I put a little bit of lemon juice on both of the peices before putting them in the oven and letting them cook for ten minutes. Once that was in, I strained the pasta and put half on one plates, half on the other. Edward stirred the sauce until the chicken was finished. I set the chicken over the pasta and Edward poured the sauce over both of the chicken's on each plate.

With a sprinkle of mozzarella, Edward and I settled on the couch with dinner in our lap, and a fork and knife in our hands. I literally scarfed down the food in ten minutes, and still felt hungry. Edward let me have a little bit of his pasta, feeding me small bites of it

" I was thinking that maybe I should quit school and start working full time." Edward said.

I immediatly looked at him, setting my plate on the coffee table.

" Edward, you can't." I started.

" We have a future child to support, and I think it would be best."

I sighed " Can you wait until July to make such a rash decision. I'm only a month along, Edward."

" That doesn't matter."

" Yeah, it does. Let's just get through a month or so, and see where we are then."

" What do you mean? It's not just going to disappear, Bella. This is a _baby_..."

" Can you just hold off on the school thing for now? Let's just get through some of the summer before we make such decisions."

He nodded and he finished his plate before setting it ontop of mine and wrapping his arms around me, holding me close to his side. I kissed his chest softly, frowning slightly that he was wearing a shirt.

" We're going to have to move in together, you know that, right?"

I sighed " Neither of us have room for a baby."

" We'll find something, a place that's half and half between campus with two bedrooms or something. We can't exactly just squeeze in because then we'll feel crowded, and I don't think either of us would want that."

Suddenly my phone vibrated from the cushion, and it was a call from Alice. I picked it up and held it to my ear.

" Hey, Alice, how's it going?"

" How's it going? How is it going? Bella, I just got a call from your dad, he was asking me if I knew about the pregnancy. What the hell, Bella. You didn't call me and tell me you were pregnant with Edward Cullen's baby?" she screamed into the phone.

I knew Edward could hear her. I stood up, and Edward frowned at me as I walked to my bedroom, taking a seat on the end of the bed and tugging at the ends of my messy, curly hair as I sighed.

" Alice, we only told them today, and I was going to call you. I swear. But after their freak out we just called it a day. We'd just been talking about it before you called."

" I can't believe this. YOUR pregnant, Isabella Swan. I swear your the last person I thought... Are you okay? Hows Edward about all this? The baby?"

" We're both fine, Edward and I, just trying to ajust to the news... I'm a month along already." I said, my hand resting on my stomach as I laid on my back.

" Why didn't you call me right away?"

" Alice, I was scared, and I knew I should have anyways, but I was just freaked out. Afterwards I was just digesting...Look, you can tell Jasper, just don't go blabbing to Emmett and Rose, okay?"

" Of course...Are you okay, Bella."

I sighed " I've always, wanted kids with him, but...I'm terrified, I dont want this at this time. I'll just deal, be strong for Edward."

" It'll be okay...Can I be Aunt Alice?"

" Sure." I said with a laugh

" Okay, I will call you tonight, I've got to get this killer paper done. Love you, Bells, and little baby."

" You, too, Al. Bye."

" Bye!"

I ended the call and rolled over to lay on my side, sighing loudly. Then I heard a throat clearing from the entry way and I looked up and saw Edward, looking very upset. I sat up and looked at him.

"What's wro-"

" Why can't you talk to me about your feelings?"

Shit.

" Uh, I- Um...I was just talking to Alice. Please don't blow this out of proportion." I said, pleading.

" I've always been there for you. Why can't you talk to me?"

I sighed " You don't understand what I'm feeling, Edward."

" And Alice does? Last time I checked she wasn't pregnant." he stated.

" Please, ju-"

" What, because your pregnant now you can't talk to me! I need to know what your feeling, Bella. So that I can talk to you about it, try to make you feel better. I won't let you fester in guilt because of this."

" Can you just calm down?" I asked, sitting up

" Talk to me."

I ran a hand through my hair " I have nothing to say."

He glared at me and I huffed " I don't, Edward!"

" Well, apparently you have things to say to Alice! Just talk to me, dammit!"

" Stop yelling at me like I'm a child! I'm a grown women for gods sake. And I am not talking to you like this. Not when your pissed at the world for getting me pregnant. I'm sorry, Edward. It takes two to tango and if you don't want a part of this...just leave. Now."

" Of course I want to be a part of this. But I can't be unless your willing to talk to me about it. I won't just sit here while you talk to everyone but me about it. You know me better!"

I slumped back into my pillows and felt the tears welling up in my eyes, threatening to fall. He let out a strangled sigh.

" If you cant talk to me then...how can I trust you?"

" I'm sorry." I said, wiping the fallen tears.

" Sorry as in your sorry that you won't ever talk about it?"

" NO! Edward, I love you..."

" You can love someone and not tell them things."

" I'm scared. There I said it. I don't know what to do in my position because...I just am not ready for this, I will try and be strong, but no matter what, I will be scared and unprepared. I wanted us to get engaged, I wanted to enjoy that bliss and then get married to you, go on a honeymoon and just relish in love for a few months. I want to get a job and then settle down to have kids. I wanted that to be the last step before growing old with you and watching our grandchildren run around."

" Bella, did you ever think that maybe I'm just as scared. I know your carrying the baby, but that doesn't mean I'm any less scared. I wanted everything you want befor having kids, I want all of it in the right order, how I was raised. But, love, we have to think about the change of plans now. I know that it wasn't part of the plan, although it's not we still have to work it into our plan."

He sat on the side of the mattress and held me in his arms. His lips pressed to my temple, his fingers running through my hair.

" I love you, and I don't want you to keep everything inside."

" I know. I'm sorry."

" You've always come to me, and this situation is no different. Okay?"

I nodded against his chest and curled up to his side. He laid us down on the bed, rocking me slowly with his hand rubbing up and down my back gently. I sniffed against his shoulder, pressing my body against his tightly, not wanting any space between us.

His lips pressed against my neck, and I shut my eyes, sighing.

For a long while we laid together, silent, and only the sounds of our breathing. An hour later he was asleep, his body molded comfortably to mine. I tried to relax, I tried, but I just couldn't not be rigid.

" Can you not be so stiff." he mumbled.

Apparently he wasn't asleep.

" I'm sorry." I whispered.

He rolled us over, resting me on my back and pressing his stomach against mine, his arms on either side of my face. Edward pressed his lips to my forehead and ran his hand down my waist, trying to get me to relax. I took a deep breath and felt his lips press against mine. His hand slid over my neck to tangle in my hair and I sighed against his mouth.

His hands eased over my shoulders, rubbing gently.

" What's wrong, tell me?" he asked in a whisper.

" I don't know."

Edward rested his forehead on mine " Just talk, beloved..."

" I'm just scared, Edward. That's all."

EPOV

All I wanted was for her to be comfortable, to accept what was going on and be alright about it. My fear was just as hers was, because I wanted alot of things before having kids, I wanted the exact life Bella had put out for herself. School, Job, Engaged, Bliss, Marriage, Honeymoon and then kids at the end.

Of course life never goes as planned as the saying goes, and I will have to take things as they be tossed at me, whether it be a health setback or a surprise pregnancy, and I'll just have to deal with it.

There was no way that this pregnancy was being terminated, I didn't have the heart to actually kill something that was a part of Bella and myself, it would haunt me forever and I knew that it would do the exact same to her in that situation. I wouldn't even be able to sit there and watch the needle pierce her stomach. I shivered at the mere thought of such a tiny baby being killed.

As I held my beloved in my arms, I let her soak my shirt with her salty tears. She was so fucking _rigid _as if she were scared of me, and it worried me. She was scared, she'd said, that was the problem, I had to make it better.

" I know that your scared, and I understand that you are not ready for this but we just have to get through all of this together. I'll always be here, Bella, and hold you when your crying and calm you down when I do something that pisses you off. Hell, at midnight, you can call me up if you want pickles and icecream. I'll do it all, but I need you to help me, and I know that's hard..."

She kissed the side of my neck and look up at me with tear filled eyes. I sat up and she followed suit, letting me wipe her tears with a kleenex. I gave her a small smile.

" Hey, we get to share the name now!"

" Yeah." she laughed " If it's a boy."

I rested my forehead against hers " Is it weird that I want a little girl that looks just like my Bella."

She blushed " No."

I kissed the tip of her nose " It's going to be fine. I promise. Okay?"

Bella nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck, situating herself in my lap comfortably.

" How'd I get so lucky..."

" I ask myself that everyday."

My hands rubbed up the length of her back and she sighed.

" How about we get some sleep?" I suggested.

" Yeah, I just need to change."

She dug into her drawers and grabbed her clothes, escaping to the bathroom to change. I shed my jeans and tossed my shirt on the floor, sitting back against the headboard. She seemed to be taking awhile, and when I heard gagging I stood and darted to the bathroom.

Her hands were braced on the floor, her body arched over the toilet. Quickly I knelt beside her, holding her hair back from her face. I felt awful for her that she had to deal with not even morning sickness, but sickness throughout the whole entire day.

I rested my forehead on her back, not exactly wanting to look at her dinner. I kissed over her nightgown and a few minutes later she flushed the toilet. I waited for her to brush her teeth, and noticed how tired and run down she looked now. She almost looked like she was sick.

I lifted her tiny body in my arms and carried her to bed. She didn't protest, and let me lay her down in bed. When I laid, she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my stomach.

I knew that these next few months were going to be difficult.

We'd be fine.

**Authors Note-** **I PROBABLY WILL NOT update next Friday, this is the last complete chapter, and I am sure you understand I need to get things together. If I do update, then I will, but I probably will now.**

**So here it is. Remember the line; Is everything really as they seem?**

**Review, let me know what you think.**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**V**


	45. Trying to Adjust

**Authors Note- READ ALL NOTES.**

**I have gotten a few flames, I am currently wondering where all the pregnancy voters went. I can't make you all read this, I can hope you'll stick with me, but hope doesn't seem to get anybody anywhere. I can't apologize, I am writing this to please myself, because this really is where it was supposed to be taken. **

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

EPOV

I'd have to say, pregnant women that you see in movies, and in real life, scared the absolute shit out of me. Literally, I avoided pregnant women at all costs because in my eyes, they are completely emotionally unstable. All they do is moan about being fat, whine about wanting this food, and that food. And basically make the husband, or boyfriend in my situation, completely miserable for the whole entire nine months until the baby is out.

But Bella.

No, my girl is an absolute angel.

For being eleven weeks pregnant, she is very calm, cool and collected. I haven't even heard one complaint about anything. It was almost scary how calm she was about this.

We'd called our parents back, and of course her father was just about ready to take her away from here, but with studies coming up this upcoming week, we couldn't just leave. It's already May 11th, Sunday. Tomorrow Bella had two tests, I had one, on Tuesday I have only one, as does Bella, and then on Wednesday I have two tests, Bella has two, and then we both only have another on Thursday and we've cleared the tests.

Bella has been studying like crazy, and working, but I call her regularly to make sure she is taking breaks and not stressing out too much. I'm making sure she is taking care of herself, because I know how hard of a worker she is.

Next Saturday we have her two month appointment, another ultra sound to see the developments of the baby, and how he/she's heart is doing.

Today I wasn't working, but Bella was working for awhile and I was sitting in my living room, basically hanging around and doing nothing.

_Ring._

I groaned and reached for my phone, seeing it was my mother. I hadn't talked to her since her and dad called a few days ago. I really wasn't in the mood for another scolding. Basically I am a basically a father now, and an adult, I don't need a scolding like a five year old.

" Hello."

" Hi, Edward." she replied

" If your planning on yelling at me, I'm not exactly interested right now."

" Edward, I don't want to yell at you. I just wanted to talk."

" Go ahead." I deadpanned.

She sighed " How's Bella?"

" Fine."

" Has she seen a doctor? Taken vitamins? She's not to stressed is she?"

" Yes, she has seen a doctor and is taking pills. I also imagine she is a little stressed over this and school. Seriously, I can't blame her. But I make sure she isn't working too hard."

" Good, Edward...Look, darling, I wasn't trying to upset you about what happened a few weeks ago. I just couldn't grasp that it happened, but it did. I love you, sweetie, I'll always be here when you need me, whenever you need me. That includes Bella. This baby is still a blessing no matter if the timing is wrong."

" Thanks, mom."

" Of course, sweetie. But look, I've got to get to work, so take care. Call me soon, okay?"

" Okay, love you."

" You, too."

I set my phone down with a long sigh, glad that I now had my mom in the baby boat with us. I think out of all of them, Charlie would be the most stubborn knowing how he was when I started going out with Bella.

About ten minutes later, at around four twenty, I recieved a call from the coffee shop Bella works at. I quirked an eyebrow and put it to my ear quickly, starting to feel a little worried as to why they were calling me.

" Hello,"

" Edward, hi. It's Irina from the coffeeshop."

" Is everything okay, is Bella hurt?"

" No, but she is basically dead asleep. I told her to go home, get some sleep and give this baby a rest, the problem is; that your girlfriend is damn stubborn and she refuses to leave."

" Let me talk to her."

There was shuffling around for a long while before I heard Bella's exasperated greeting on the other end.

" Come home. I'm waiting and I have a surprise." I stated, standing up and grabbing the box off the counter.

" I can't leave work."

" Cleared with, Irina." I said, hanging up before she could protest further.

I slid on my leather jacket and grabbed my keys to the Volvo from the counter. The box I was carrying was from a bakery downtown, and I'd got a dozen lobster tails, and basically they are this flaky crunchy dough, and inside is like custard, to which you can get three flavors. I've noticed Bella eating chocolate alot recently, so I got chocolate for her.

She'd gotten some before when we first moved in, and she fell absolutely in love, but they are kind of expensive so she didn't really get them often, I figured I could get her some as a treat.

The drive to her apartment was quick, and as I pulled up, she was by the front door opening it up. I jogged up the stairs, catching up with her. She glared at me, which was not what I was expecting.

" I can work, Edward. I'm pregnant, not handicaped. You can't fucking tell me what to do." she seethed.

" I got you something." I said in a sing-song happy voice.

Bella was not having it.

Maybe she was one of _those _pregnant girls.

She opened the door and I followed her upstairs to the apartment. I could tell she was upset as she shut the door and locked it. Bella tossed her thin coat carelessly on the couch and put her purse down.

" So, I happened to stop by the bakery and get you some lobster tails. And I got them filled with the chocolate custard stuff."

I heard her sigh loudly and I set the box down, shedding my jacket next to hers. I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the couch with me. She begrudgingly followed and sat next to me on the couch.

" You need to breathe, calm down. I just wanted to spend the day with you, and no matter what you say, I know your worn out. I know the morning sickness isn't helping either."

Tears filled her eyes and right infront of me she slowly crumbled into my arms. I wrapped my arms around her, petting her hair.

" Tell me what's going on, love. Talk to me."

" I'm just stressed out, and I need a break. I just keep resisting because...I want to just go on like normal." she breathed, tangling her hands in my hair.

I held her as close as I could, feeling her little baby bump against my stomach. I gently kissed her shoulder and she sighed.

" I really want those lobster tails."

" Yeah?"

" Mhm."

Quickly I got up and grabbed the box, and set it in her lap. She opened up the box, immediatly reaching in to grab one. A loud crunch sounded and she moaned loudly into the treat, taking another bite. I sat down next to her, resting my hand on her bump.

" Someone hungry?" I asked, kissing her cheek.

" Very."

She ate many of the lobster tails, feeding me little bites here and there. I enjoyed seeing her happy. Once she finished and was satisfied with her fullness, I sat her in my lap and ran my fingers through her hair.

" What's been going on, huh? Is it school? work? me? Bella, if it's me, tell me and I will back off."

" No, it's not you Edward. You've been so great to me. I've just been stressed out with my parents, and school. I'm tired of working. I just want to take a breather, relax. I'm tired of homework, just everything. I don't see you so much anymore. I wish when we were in highschool, and we spent everyday together."

I ran my hand up and down her waist " I know, love. Maybe you can cut back hours on work, focus on school more."

" I need to pay rent, Edward."

" I'll talk to Carlisle and Esme, they can help."

" I can't take their money Edward."

" They will gladly help. They aren't pleased with the situation, but they will help, Bella."

She shook her head " No...Really, it's just been different adjusting to having something inside of me. I just need to relax, deep breath and just take things day by day and not stress myself out."

" Okay, but you tell me if things are getting to be too much. If I can do anything to make things easier on you, I will not hesitate to do so."

Bella nodded, " Okay. Thank you."

I brushed her hair out of her face, " Do you want to take a nap, just lay down for awhile?"

" Yeah. Can't we just lay here, is that okay?"

" You don't even have to ask." I said quietly.

She gently pushed against my shoulders and I laid back on the couch. Bella curled up ontop of me and I grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. I put it over her, keeping her tiny body warm. I rubbed her back soothingly, listening to her breathing become even.

I was glad that she was just relaxing. I knew she hated being told what to do, but I needed to do this for her and let her relax. She needed to take time out of the day for herself to calm down, besides bedtime. I know that Bella is an independent person in many ways, but I like helping her. We always look out for eachother, no matter what. It will always remain that way.

I felt Bella shift around on me, before she slumped off my stomach and laid on the side of me, smashing me into the back of the couch. I laid on my side and wrapped my arms around her, she put hers around me and I adjusted the blanket.

" I love you."

" L'vyou." Bella words were breathy and morphed into one. I smiled and moved my hand towards her stomach. I rubbed it gently, her little bump.

She finally fell into a steady sleep, and I laid down with her for awhile until I decided to get up and attempt to make her dinner. I made sure she was wrapped up and headed into the kitchen. I rifled through the cabinets and found chicken, corn flakes, captain crunch, mustard, honey, paprika, eggs, milk, buttermilk, bread and a huge tub of peanut butter.

Apparently Bella was having a peanut butter fest, because half of it was gone.

I grabbed the corn flakes, captain crunch, buttermilk and chicken.

I crushed up some corn flakes and captain crunch together as I headed up Oil in the fryer. I cut up the chicken in big chunks and bathed them in the buttermilk, which I had seasoned, coated them in the corn flake and captain crunch mix, and popped them in the deep fryer.

I cooked all of the chicken, putting it on a plate with paper towel so it wouldn't be all greasy.

When I was finished, it was six. I figured that I could wake Bella up, so I could spend more time with her before I had to leave around ten. I went to the couch and saw the most adorable sight. The blanket was wrapped around her ankles, her shirt riding up almost all the way to her bra, hair a complete mess and her arms in some weird position. She was too cute.

I knelt down, kissing the side of her stomach before resting my hands on either side of her face, kissing her soundly. She was unresponsive for about three seconds, and then she threw herself into the kiss, almost pulling me onto the couch with her.

" Hey, love. Sleep well?"

" Yeah, thank you for today."

" Of course. I made some chicken for dinner, sound good?"

She nodded and sat up, running her fingers through her hair. Once she dropped her hands, I grasped her wrists and pulled her up. I held her to me for a moment, kissing her forehead,

" I love you, beautiful girl."

" I love you, too, Edward."

We walked over to the kitchen and filled our plates with chicken. I sat on the floor with her.

" I think we should get a small table."

Bella snorted, " And where does that money come from?"

" Want me to build you one?"

She chuckled, " Not that you aren't creative, but I'm not sure..."

I knew that she was probably very right. If I held a hammer and a nail, I would probably end up hurting myself somehow. Handling a football is what I can do, but I am not very talented when it comes to creativity or building things.

" Your probably right." I said with a laugh.

We finished up our dinner and Bella and I sat on the couch quietly.

" I think I'm having a boy." she whispered.

" Hm, how are you sure?"

" Well, alot of women who have girls, they get like really really huge, their fingers puff up and their face, even in the early months. With boys, your smaller. Basically you just grow in your stomach."

" I think you look beautiful either way."

" I hope I don't keep all the weight I gain."

" Bella..."

" I know, you think I am beautiful. But it's just a girl thing."

I smiled at her, brushing my hand over her cheekbone, giving her a look that said ' Everything is going to be okay.'

May 17th

Saturday

2 Months Pregnant

BPOV

I cringed upon feeling the cold jell on my stomach. Edward laid his face close to mine, kissing my neck gently. Throughout this time, Edward had been a complete sweetheart. He was spending alot more time with me, whether it just twenty minutes between class to grab lunch, or an hour at nighttime after work.

I knew he was trying to make everything easy on me, and I appreciated it. But I wasn't handicapped. He needed to understand that I wouldn't be pushed around, he knew me alot better then that. I haven't really talked to my parents, they don't seem to be caring anyways, or they are caring too much.

My father needed to understand that being with Edward, is where I need to be right now. I wouldn't just shove Edward away and not give him the chance to be a father. It would be like making me abort the child because I am too young and not prepared.

I don't think anybody is ever completely ready for a child. They don't come with manuels, and nobody ever knows how the child might come out to be.

I was slowly becoming more comfortable with the pregnancy, although my stress level has been on high, I try and find a place in my head where I can calm down and be peaceful; Edward helps with that.

When I felt the detector on my stomach, I looked up at the screen. A strong heartbeat sounded in the room. Edward looked up with me, smiling.

" When can you find out the gender?" I asked.

" At around...Four or five months. Four if your lucky. Your baby has a very strong heartbeat."

She sounded very surprised.

" Should it be weaker?" I asked, but it sounded wrong, a strong heart was always good.

" Well, women who are pregnant at a younger age are normally prone to miscarriage, and the heartbeat normally is a _little_ bit weaker, but it sounds pretty good. You must be a very good mom, eating healthy? Slowing down a little?"

" Bella has always eaten healthy. Slowing down is not in her blood." Edward answered with a chuckle.

Dr. Hemmingway looked at me, " I know that your probably stressed out, but you really have to find that place where you feel calm and peaceful. The baby is very small right now, and he or she can feel everything, stress, anger. It can also stress the baby out, which can lead to a miscarriage. Although, after three months the rates go down, but you still just need to take a deep breath. Do you work? Go to school?"

" I attend NYU but school is already over as of last Thursday, and I work part time at a coffee shop."

She nodded " Well, you might want to maybe cut hours back so you have more time to wind down. Sleep time isn't the only time the baby needs."

" Okay."

" And your taking vitamins?"

" Yes."

" Well, I am sure your going to have a very calm, nice pregnancy. Just let this man over here take care of you, okay?"

I nodded and Edward kissed my forehead.

She stepped out of the room when we finshed, saying we would see eachother next week. Edward cleaned off my stomach for me with a warm washcloth and then dipped down to kiss my little bump. I pulled my tanktop down and sat up, looking at him. He looked so happy.

" You look so happy." I said outloud.

" I am...I mean don't get me wrong, I am scared shitless...But I am kinda getting used to the idea more. I think about how beautiful I know our baby is going to be, how great of a mother I know you can be."

I looked down.

" Baby, I know your probably having a little bit of a trouble making a connection."

He was so right. I felt tears well up and I looked at him. " How can I be a good mom if I don't even...Feel like...Real love?"

Edward wrapped his arms around me, brushing my hair back.

" It's okay, Bella. Your not a bad person, never. I know that it will be very hard on you, it will on both of us, but give it time okay? You'll feel it. Right now, I just think that your still trying to get used to it. It's only been a month of knowing."

I nodded and hugged him close to me. He grabbed my hoodie and helped me slip my arms through the sleeves. He zipped it up for me and I hopped down, grabbing my bag. I felt his lips on my head.

" I have to get to work." Edward sighed.

It was eleven thirty, and he had to be at work at twelve.

" I know." I whispered as we walked hand in hand towards the parking lot.

Since school was over, my schedule was now switched.

I worked from ten to seven, Monday through Friday, with the weekend completely off. Edward now works from nine to six on Sunday through Thursday, with Friday and Saturday off. He said he would still stay over on Saturday nights, but just get up to leave earlier. But we had time at night to spend time together, which was very enjoyable.

Being surrounded by coffee really sucked, because I really wasn't supposed to be drinking coffee, even if it was Decaf, because it's not exactly good for the baby. I drink alot of water, and occasionally I will have a little coke or juice, but water is my main source.

I haven't been eating much candy or sweets, mostly fruits and vegetables, chicken and light food. I really wished I could eat greasy burgers, down two cans of coke and then have a piece of chocolate cake with some coffee, but I had to resist the urge. I have been eating alot of peanut butter, which is a big source of my nutrition. Peanut butter and banana sandwiches, Peanut butter and banana sandwiches fried, Peanut butter and Jelly, Ritz Peanut butter, Oreo's and Peanut butter, and just Peanut butter globbed onto a spoon.

Edward had taken notice to this and he would pick me up one of the big jars for me.

Although the day that I threw up Peanut butter, I tossed all of it out. That stuff looked fucking nasty coming back up. Now, I was on a orange juice kick, and rice krispies in a bowl dry. Edward looked away when I combined the both, but I knew he was smiling even though he told me that it was totally 'gross'.

What Edward had been enjoying, was my hormones going absolutely insane. One moment I would be cool and collected, the next I was ontop of him. I think we enjoyed that part of the pregnancy, because it was great for both of us. I was already pregnant, what would sex while pregnant do? Twins? I didn't think so.

The stress of my parents and work still hadn't worn down, but I did what the doctor said, I let Edward take care of me and I took time for myself to just calm down. I'd been painting alot on Sundays when Edward works. It helps me wind down alot.

Maybe things were falling into place.

**Authors Note- I know the chapter is short, but the next few are going to be that way, you'll see why, it will kind of be a pattern. I did update! I finally got some inspiration and I am feeling okay with the direction, I hope some of you are too. I hope some of you stick with me, but I know some wont. That's okay, it was a risk I was willing to take.**

**Thank you to all the ones who keep reading, I really appreciate it more then I can express in words.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	46. Another Passing Month

**Authors Note- READ END NOTES**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

EPOV

" She's still sleeping, Alice. I'll tell her to call you later, okay?"

" SHE IS ALWAYS SLEEPING! Doesn't she do ANYTHING else?"

" Bella is just tired right now. I'd rather her sleeping then tossing her cookies in the bathroom."

Alice let out a sigh, " Fine, whatever. Bye."

She hung up straight away, and I headed towards my bedroom. Bella was curled up against my pillow, wearing only her underwear and bra in bed. The comforter covered up from her hips down, but I could see her beautiful little bump showing. It was getting slightly bigger since last month, and I was starting to adore it more and more.

I slowly crept towards the bed and laid down, facing her. I moved closer and made my face level with her stomach. I kissed her middle of her stomach, above her belly button. My hand rested on the side of her belly, and I kissed up her stomach, and then over the front clasp of her bra until I reached her neck.

Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a loud yawn. She shifted her body just the slightest to stretch. I rested my hand on her ribs, leaning forward.

" Hi." I whispered, kissing her jaw.

" How long did I sleep?"

" Well, you fell asleep last night at eight. And it's currently two thirty in the afternoon."

" I'm sorry for wasting the time we have together by sleeping."

" Your tired, I understand." I stated, brushing her hair behind her ear.

She closed her eyes and moved the pillow, wrapping herself around me. I buried my face in her hair and she kissed my neck. We laid in bed for awhile and cuddled, before she decided that the snickers bar on the end table was mocking her. I had bought it for me, but I'd rather her have it if it made her happy.

Afterwards she raided my kitchen cabinets for some Beef Ramen. I made it for her so she could relax, and she slurped it up like no tomorrow. Anybody would have thought that she never ate once in her life. When she had finished eating the entire bowl of soup, I cleaned up her dishes for her. In that time, I found her already fast asleep on the leather couch when I stepped in the room.

How the fuck does she do that? She's a nutter.

" Baby." I murmured, kissing her neck gently.

" Hmmm, I'm tired."

" I never get to spend time with you, sleeping machine." I said with a chuckle.

" Join me."

I laid behind her, brushing her hair away from her neck and kissing it. The thing I would say I love the most, is how Bella can go from nice, calm and relaxed, to basically jumping ontop of me and mauling me. It's ultimately the funnest thing ever, because she always gets into it when she gets what I want. Bella grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and held it against her like a body pillow. I lightly scraped my teeth on her neck and she let out a quiet groan.

Jack-fucking-pot.

" EDWARD GET OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW!"

I rolled over with a groan, being awoken from my slumber. Last night I had to get up twice because Bella wanted a Coke slurpee, and then she was basically dying for some Slim Jims twenty minutes later. Which was two seperate trips to 7-11 and I was really exhausted.

When I opened my eyes, Bella was holding my cellphone. I wondered what the hell was going on right now and who had called.

" What's wrong?" I asked in a raspy voice.

" Oh, Stacey called. She was looking for you?" Bella shouted

Stacey?

Oh! Stacey. She worked at NYU, I'd recently been checking out classes and she'd been helping me out with a few courses these past couple of days. Since she sets up the classes, she basically knew alot of the classes and requirements. Basically telling me the list of books for the classes I was going to have to take for Law.

I looked at Bella incredulously, I could have sworn I told her that I'd been looking into classes.

" Love, Stacey works at NYU. Remember I told you that I was starting to look into classes for the fall. She's been helping me out with the requirments and stuff."

Bella's angry expression faltered, and suddenly she was in tears crying about how sorry she was for overreacting. I was shocked for a moment at the sudden change in mood. She tossed herself onto the bed and I wrapped my arms around her, trying to calm her down.

" Bella, calm down. I'm not angry at you." I assured her.

" I'm such a bitch. I thought you were cheating on me with her! Please don't be mad at me, Edward. I'm sorry, I am so so sorry!" she cried loudly.

I rubbed her back, " Hey, it's okay. I am not angry at you. Just surprised."

" Go to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up. This is the third time, I am so-"

" Don't say sorry. It's okay, beloved."

She sighed and slumped into me sleepily. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her temple.

" Your the best." she murmured.

I snuggled into her and let out a deep breath. I loved her craziness, even if it cost me sleep.

June 14th

Saturday

3 Months Along

BPOV

" Christ, that lady is huge." Edward whispered to me.

I looked over at him. " Edward, she's having twins."

Edward looked at her again, and I rested my hand on his cheek, making him look away. It wasn't very nice to stare at a pregnant women, if she was anything like a normal pregnant women, she was insecure about her weight.

" Oh..."

I grasped his hand and leaned against him. He kissed my temple.

" You okay?"

" Yeah, I'm fine."

We waited outside for another ten minutes before we were called in by Dr. Hemmingway's assistant, Jane.

Recently, things with the baby seem to have been going okay. The stress of our parents really hasn't worn down and work is almost killing me, but I wouldn't dare tell Edward. I could still work and be pregnant, alot of women do it, so could I.

I tried talking to my mom, only to have that conversation leave me in tears after yelling back and forth about the situation. The thing was, she didn't want to understand or care. All she wanted was for everything to just go back to how it was. My father wanted me home, but he knew that I would never do that; he wasn't stupid.

Dr. Hemmingway greeted me, asking me how I was doing. I said that I was okay. I wasn't feeling perfect right now, with all of the stress going on, it was very hard to now find that place where I was content. But I wasn't breaking down, I was still okay.

Edward tries his hardest, but I don't let him see how stressed I am. Which isn't what I want for him, because I don't want him to be upset knowing that he can't make everything better. He always tries to fix things left and right, and I can't have that. It wouldn't be fair for him.

As she ran the detector over my stomach, she had a slight frown on her face, which worried me. I could hear the heartbeat, but it seemed to not be as strong as it was last month. She set it down by my hip and looked at us.

" The babies heartbeat seems to have slowed down from last month."

She was looking over the chart before glancing at me.

" Well, it's really not that bad. But I think that since your still early in the pregnancy and the heart rate has dropped, that you should maybe take a leave of absence from work and go somewhat on bed rest. Half way. Do you live with your boyfriend, I presume?"

" No, I don't. On weekends we are mostly together, and a few hours after work."

" Okay...Alright, well I want you to take it easy. Next month, if it doesn't get better, then I want you on full bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy, okay?"

I nodded in understanding and we got a few pictures of the baby. Afterwards Edward helped me clean off my stomach and he pulled my shirt down. We stepped out of the room and Edward walked me out of the office.

Once we were in the car, he turned towards me with a worried look on his face.

" Love..."

" I'm okay, Edward. Really, I am stressed about our parents, and working. That's all, everything is okay." I assured me.

" You should call work."

" I will."

" I just don't want you to have much on your plate."

" I'm trying to keep the stress down, Edward. It's just really hard right now."

His hand rested on my thigh and he gently massaged my skin, sighing, but still paying close attention to the road infront of him. I rested my hand over his and lifted it up, kissing the center of the back of his hand.

" Are you hungry? We can get something to eat somewhere."

I looked over at him, smiling, " Yeah, okay. That would be nice."

We parked on the street next to an Italian Bistro. Edward opened my door for me and we walked inside. It wasn't busy at all, and we were seated immediatly and given our menu's. I got some water and scanned over the menu to select my meal.

" Mmm, this mushroom pasta looks absolutely divine."

I looked over at him, " That sounds amazing."

He smiled, " Mushroom cravings now?"

I rolled my eyes at him and he grasped my hand over the table. I felt the pad of his thumb rub over my knuckles as he scanned the menu. Once he was finished he closed it and set it off to the side, taking a sip from his coke.

Damn how I wanted to drink a coke.

Edward chuckled, " Take a sip, you look like your about to jump on the table."

I took a sip from the bubbly soda and set it back down. I knew there were certain things I couldn't consume, alot of caffiene isn't good for the baby, and I don't think seafood is exactly the best either. Which, really isn't that big of an issue because I am not that big of a seafood fan anyways.

When the waitress came back, she took our orders and refilled our drinks before putting the order in. We sat back for a moment, happy to relax. Before dinner, Edward and I had ordered Minestrone soup, and we ate the cup size amount we were given.

Once I was finished, I slid the bowl away from me. Edward stacked the small bowls and plates, setting them off to the side for the waitress to take once she returned. I excused myself to the washroom real quick, only to return and see the waitress hitting on Edward.

I felt rage engulf me and I walked over to her, staring her down. She abruptly backed off visably.

" I would appreciate if you would do your job, and stop hitting on my boyfriend." I was quiet enough not to disturb anybody else around me, but my tone was serious.

She scampered off with her imaginary tail between her legs and I sat down. Edward leaned over the table towards me, and I looked away from him. He could of just told her to leave him be instead of having me take care of it for him.

" That was really hot."

" Why didn't you speak up for yourself?"

" Bella, she just came over here. She seemed harmless."

I scoffed.

" Don't be pissed. I love you."

" That so?"

" Your bearing my child. Proof that I love you."

" If the kid was planned." I grumbled under my breath, taking a large gulp from my water.

He rubbed my hand and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. When he sat back down, he gave me one of his signature 'sorry' looks. I sighed and rested my hand gently on my stomach. Once our food got here, I immediatly started digging into the Mushroom Pasta, Edward had gotten parmesan cheese ravioli, with mozzarella cheese and spinach inside. Red sauce was slathered over it, with shredded cheese ontop.

Edward took a bite from my pasta that I fed him off my fork, and he let me try his ravioli. We enjoyed the rest of our food, paid the bill, and then headed off to his apartment. I'd been going there alot on weekends, what could I say, his bed was the most comfortable bed ever.

Normally, I like to sleep on my stomach, but with the little bump, it's a little uncomfortable now. Edward is basically great to help out with that one, in a way where we curve our bodies together in a comfortable position. Alot of times I wake up with his hand on my stomach.

It really makes me happy knowing that he is somewhat okay with this. He's really taken everything on seriously. I couldn't imagine not having him as my rock. He was doing incredibly well dealing with all of this. I haven't even heard a complaint over the late night cravings.

Edward unlocked his apartment door and I stepped through, setting my bag on the counter and pouring myself a glass of tea. He went into the bedroom to change and I went in after pouring my glass. It was really cold in here, and I rifled through his drawers to find a long sleeved shirt of mine. I found a loose grey one and I tossed my shirt off, slipping it over my head.

I put on a pair of Edward's pajama pants, and then slipped into bed with the television on. Edward came out of the bathroom afterwards. It was only eight, but I was entirely exhausted after today. Just simple outings really have been taking the energy out of my body.

" Are you cold?" Edward asked.

" Yeah, it's cold in here."

He kissed my forehead. " I can turn the heat on."

" It's alright. No worries."

I hugged myself to Edward's side and he flipped on Knocked Up. I giggled against his arm.

" Nope, I said you weren't ever watching this. Now I especially don't want you to watch it."

" Oh my god. That was discusting. Holy shit how can a baby possibly come out of there. I don't stretch out like that, oh god."

Edward kissed my forehead, " I told you."

He turned on Family Guy and I sat up briefly to take a drink of my tea. Edward was extremely warm, and I hugged myself as tightly as I could to him because it felt nice. His hand rubbed up and down my arm, helping me relax into sleep.

Times like these were when I felt like I almost didn't deserve such a great man.

**Authors Note- I know this is short, but I wanted it out to you all.**

**READ ALL NOTES BELOW!READ ALL NOTES BELOW!READ ALL NOTES BELOW!**

**Um...Here is the thing, I really need all of you to be reading this, it's very important.**

**Recently, alot of medical things have been going on with me, and I have been having alot of trouble. I can't promise chapters are going to be on time, I hope you can understand that what I am going through, really is something serious. I'm not lying for more time to write, I am serious. I will try to get them out on time, but I need support from you guys, okay?**

**Follow me on twitter, you know what's going on there.**


	47. A Visit

**Authors Note-**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

Edward looked over at me, frusteration evident on his face. I rested my hand over his, letting out a long sigh. I'd really rather not be arguing about this with him, because it was only making us both frusterated, but it was something we really needed to talk about.

Edward wanted to quit school and start working full time to be able to take care of the baby when it's here, and I was trying to explain to him, that if we just moved into one apartment together, with just an extra room, the money we make put together, would be able to support everything. Together, we could both make around nineteen hundred to two thousand dollars in a month, and with a good apartment, we could definitely be able to handle it. We could have more money then that, but with my hours being cut down alot, I don't get as much. I work three times a week for about three hours each day, which was cleared with my

I would have to stop school for awhile, put it off, or maybe take a few online courses at nighttime when I am not working or taking care of the baby. I wanted Edward to become what he wanted, not put something on hold that he shouldn't have to.

We obviously decided to get an apartment together soon, and Edward had talked to his dad a bit. And he was helping us out with online searching. We hadn't really had time to look online ourself, but Carlisle and Esme were helping us out immensely.

I knew that my parents were aware of what's been going on, Carlisle and Esme said that they were telling them a bit, but they were still encouraging both of them to just give us a call and actually listen.

Edward and I decided to just move a little up North of Manhattan closer to his college a bit. Both of our colleges would be about fifteen minutes away by car around the area we were loking around.

" Look, Carlisle is looking at Brownstones in the area, and the prices for two bedroom, one bath, kitchen and living room are around seven hundred and fifty. Which leaves us with a little over a thousand dollars. Phone bill thirty bucks a month, electronics around one hundred, and the water bill the same. The rest can be for food."

" I don't want us to just barely make it, Bella. I want to have breathing room."

" Edward, how much money is in your account right now?"

" Around four thousand, plus the money that my parents put away from me."

" Exactly, and I have just above two thousand, okay? Basically, we will still be building up slowly. It's all going to be okay. I mean, unless you don't want to get an apartment together."

" Bella, we can't _not_ get an apartment. I won't be apart from my own child. What happens if you have a hard night, your tired, overworked from spending most of the day with he or she. I want to be right there you to help out. If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be in this mess."

I sighed, running my hand through my hair and resting my elbows on the counter.

" I'm so frusterated."

" No, love, your right. This is all just so difficult, and we just need to get all of this done so we can settle."

I stood up and filled up a glass of water, draining half of the cup. I slid Edward a Coke and he popped it open, taking a large few gulps from the can. When I walked over to him, I sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He held me close to him, kissing the side of my head and curling me close to his chest.

" Everything will be okay, I promise you." he whispered, " Everything will work out somehow, and things will just be great after all of this apartment and money business is over."

Suddenly, as I took one step forward, I felt the wooden floor cave in slightly and I gasped. Edward grabbed tightly onto me, pulling me back towards the foyer. We looked at the lady of the building, and Edward glared harshly at her, as if she were the one that made the floor cave in.

" Obviously this building is not well cared for. My girlfriend is pregnant, she could have fallen through and gotten hurt." Edward spat.

The ladies face reddened, " I am very sorry, Mr. Cullen. But it is very fixable, for only a few hundred it can be replace-"

" I'm sorry, but I don't think we are interested. Thank you so much for your time." I interrupted nicely as Edward led us out.

He crossed out another on our list and sighed. " That's two. Next one...Three minutes away." he said, putting the address into the GPS. We had our places in order, and planned to spend around twenty minutes looking at each place, because we had made appointments with the buildings owner.

The next one was very pretty, two stories and it was white brick with wrought iron railings going up the cement stairs. Edward opened my door and gripped my hand, walking up towards the door. Before we could knock, the door opened and a man who looked to be around late twenties opened the door. He greeted and welcomed us into the apartment.

I took notice as to how he looked at me. His eyes widened when he saw my somewhat protruding stomach. We looked through all of the rooms, the bedrooms were a bit too small, and the bathroom...Well, I could just barely stand it in, and there was only a deep bathtub that looked like a hole in the floor. When we reached the kitchen, Edward and I walked towards the cabinets to check them out, it was a decent place, but we had to make sure there were no bugs or anything.

" There is actually a bug i-" I gasped " -Issue."

A cricket bounced right past me and I screamed. Edward came towards me, and I noticed ants on the counter, walking around in groups of ten. Holy christ, this really wasn't going to be easy trying to find a place for both of us to live in.

Edward and I walked out straight away without another word, ignoring all of the man's talk about using Raid to rid of the issues. I didn't think so. I wanted to be in a place that had been inspected by someone certified, knowing what the hell they were doing, not a lazy owner that thought painting the walls and cleaning the mirrors would make the place beautiful.

The next place we went to was also really nice, it was next to the end/corner brownstone in a group of five. At this point, Edward and I were a little bit frusterated. The outside was a grey brick, very crisp and nice looking. A lady in a pencil skirt suit opened the door. She was blonde, her hair long, and she looked really nice.

" You must be Isabella and Edward Cullen, it's very nice to meet you, I am Veronica Lutz."

We smiled and she opened the door up further to show us the foyer.

It also looked to be the living room, and it was very nice.

We stepped onto the shiny dark wood floor and into the apartment. She shut the door behind us.

" Well, before I show you the rooms, I had someone come out to inspect the building, the entire building just to make sure there were no bugs, rotten floorboards or ceilings. Everything came out nice, and just to keep any kind of bug out, they sprayed all along the building including the back so that no bugs from anyother places could get in. The building is still fairly new, and everything is perfectly intact. Only two people have lived here before you, and it was inspected even after the last couple left."

Score!

She walked to the left and opened a door, which was a small powder room, but it was nice. We walked around the living area, which was basically extending to the foyer, Off to the left was a decent sized kitchen, it was really nice and had good cabinets and countertops. On the opposite side across the living room was a small dining room, a nice light unit above.

The stairs were right there upon walking in the house, and they were wooden and spiralled. Upstairs there were two bedrooms, and a bathroom attached to one of them. They were a good size, not big, but not small. We checked the closets and everything. This place was almost too good to be true.

We headed back downstairs after looking over everything, seating ourselves on the stools to discuss rent.

" So, your both students. NYU and Columbia? You said that on the phone?" she asked

" Yes."

" Okay, since your both students you would only have to pay six hundred a month, which is two hundred off rent. We do this for all students. What's both of your income for your work?"

" I make about thirteen hundred a month, and Bella makes about half of that." Edward answered, " I work almost full time now since it's the summer, but my girlfriend works less because of her pregnancy."

Her eyes went to me, " Oh, your expecting! I would have never guessed!"

I smiled and Edward rubbed my thigh, " Yes, and I'm not sure if I am going to be continueing at Columbia, in a few months I might start doing online classes instead."

" Well, the rent would still say the same. For electricity and the water bill, that all depends on what you use, but from the income your currently making together, I don't see why I couldn't rent this place to you if you wish to."

" Do you mind if we talk for just a moment?" Edward asked.

She quickly stood, " Of course. I'll be just in the front."

Once she had left, Edward looked over at me.

" What do you think?"

" I think it's good. Price is reasonable, and I think that this could really work. It's not far from where I work, and Columbia is just less then ten minutes more away from my other place. It's very beautiful and spacious. What do you think?"

" It's good, not far from work or school, and the rent is good. It's really neat, and there are no bugs or other creepy crawlers. Those other people must think we are nutters if they thought we were renting them...Think we should sign some papers?"

We stood and Edward wrapped me in his arms, " We're home."

Edward and I signed the papers for our new place that day and the keys were given to both of us. It had been the end of May, the rent for the month on our old apartments already paid off and everything, so we really had to get to packing.

Angela and Ben were helping me alot, we'd become really great friends over the time of knowing eachother. But Angela and I still agreed to have lunch together sometime during the week like we normally do. Ben and Edward did alot of the furniture related things, and I packed up my cd's, art things, books and movies firstly.

Later on came the pots and pans, mostly all silverware and a few other kitchen appliances. I lived off of what I had in the cabinets and fridge mostly, or Edward and I went out for dinner. Edward and I had completely emptied out my apartment, taking the rest of the food over to his apartment and I stayed their. I handed my keys in and Edward and I had to finish up his place.

I realized that very last night in Edward's apartment and I would be sharing a bed with him. We would be living together, sharing a closet, bathroom, kitchen and everything else. On the Saturday morning, a week before my four month doctors appointment, Edward and I had completely cleared out the space of his apartment and it was all shoved into our brownstone. The owner of Edward's building let him slide by a few days.

As we stood in the crowded living room, I looked at Edward.

" Which couch? Black leather or white plush couch?"

We looked at eachother, " Leather."

Edward got the mattress upstairs somehow, and I helped him the best I could, once the end table's and mattress was set up, Edward let me fix up the bedroom. Since the walls were a deep red, we just decided to get new sheets, making me branch out from my purple. The sheets were now a gold and white mixture. There were already dark wood shelves on the wall, matching the floor, four long ones. I put Edward and I's books on them, to which they basically took up most of it. I put Edward's iDoc on the corner of it, plugging it in.

I put the gold lamps on the end tables, same ones Edward had at his apartment, and put one of the yankee candles that I have. In the bathroom, Edward and I used my old bathroom things, light blue rugs and towels. I put all of our things in the shower, put Edward's shaving things on the counter, along with our toothbrushes in a holder and I set a few of my hair products on the counter. In the cabinets below I put the toliet paper, bath towels, blow drier and my curling iron in it.

I laid the gold rug in the bedroom, and on my new side of the bed, I put a few of my personal items. I don't think Edward wants to see my tampons in the bathroom, even though I haven't used them in months, so I just tucked them in there.

Once I finished in both of those rooms, I went downstairs. Boxes were still scattered everywhere, and Edward carried the clothes upstairs for me, giving me a kiss before leaving me to put them in the closet, luckily, we kept them on the hangers so it was easy. He'd rather use more boxes then have to do all of that work. I put the shoes on the floor on our sides, and hung the clothes on the bar. Above on the shelf, I put our extra blankets that we kept, just in case we had company of anything. Our pajama pants, jeans and underwear went into two seperate dressers. They didn't completely match the room, but it didn't look stupid.

The bedroom looked really nice, I hoped Edward liked it. He would have to hang the curtains, but it was really nice.

I headed downstairs, exhausted, and got a drink of water. Edward had already fixed the kitchen up, and he was sorting out the living room. His expensive stereo looked damn heavy, and somehow he got it upstairs into the bedroom. It fit in there comfortably, but he was going to put more shelves in for his music.

" It looks great, baby." Edward murmured, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. It was only two in the afternoon and I was exhausted.

" Nap." he groaned, pulling me towards his- our bed.

I sat down on the bed, I'd already been wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, Edward was fully dressed. He slipped his shoes off and curled up with me ontop of the sheets, smiling at me.

" Should I promise not to piss on the toilet?"

" Mhm. And keep the lid down."

He chuckled, " I'll try."

" We've lived together before."

" Drove eachother crazy."

I pressed my lips against his, chastely kissing him before pulling away. He rested his chin ontop of my head and I breathed in his scent, relaxing at the familar smell.

After a nice two hour nap, Edward and I pealed out of bed and went downstairs for an early dinner. He made some breaded lemon chicken and some liptons garlic herb rice which was pretty good.

When we had finished eating, I set up the bathroom with Edward's bathroom towels and rugs, which was a pretty quick process. Afterwards I helped him out. For the time being, his music was in the dining room, and we put his television on my coffee table, and used his coffee table just for stray things like magazines, drinks or whatever. He set up the book shelf in the corner and put all of our movies, along with a few scattered pictures on the shelf, with candles and other tiny knick knacks.

There was still a few pictures and things to hang on the wall, but Edward and I decided to save it for tomorrow.

We both took showers and changed into our pajama's. Edward and I crawled under the covers, and made our way to the middle of the bed and wrapped up together.

" Good home?"

I nodded, " Very good home."

Edward rested his hand on my stomach, rubbing gently. Just then, I suddenly felt shifting inside of me, and something brushing against my stomach, almost kicking. I froze.

" What?" Edward asked, startled.

" I felt...him/ her whoever, moving, I felt a brush, almost a kick."

Edward stilled his hand, and I felt the same odd feeling again. He looked up at me.

" I felt it." he breathed. " Oh my god, I felt it."

" Someone is really in there." I whispered, looking down at my stomach.

" OUR someone."

I felt Edward's lips brush mine gently, his free hand running over my cheek gently. My lips moved against his slowly, and I ran my hands up the back of his shirt. He moaned quietly and pulled away from me, tossing his shirt over his head.

" Stress level?"

" I'm okay," I whispered, running my hands over the planes of his chest. He kissed each of my slim fingers before pulling his lips back to mine.

" Sure, baby?" Edward asked, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

" Yeah."

The next day after some well earned sleep, we got up at around seven. Edward had to work at nine, and he started putting nails in walls for me to start hanging a few things on the wall. He gave me a long lingering kiss before walking out the door.

For Edward's motorcycle, since we had a small little backyard, we rolled it back there to keep it safe. Edward said that in the winter we could find a way to cover it up really good. For alot of the afternoon I put up pictures and put small things in it's place. It was a gloomy day out, and I lite some candles and cleaned up the wood stairs. I wished they had carpet, but it was as good as we could get.

I took a nap in the afternoon and at around four I made myself a sandwich. Just as I sat down on the couch, the front door opened and Edward walked through. His face was a mixture of shock and excitement. I looked at the clock, he still had just under two hours until he was due home.

" Hey, wha-"

" I was promoted to Manager." Edward bursted out.

" What? Oh my god, really?" I set my plate down and stood up.

Edward took me in his arms and held me tight. I pulled away from him, just as surprised as he was. He sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap. For a moment he was quiet, and I leaned against his chest, smiling.

" Jenna, she was the manager and apparently she left for Harvard. I mean, she's left before and I told you that I normally took over for her with the ads, checking menu's, food sales and other things. Obviously they had one other manager that helped out, but I did alot of it. Well, they said that they really would think I would be good for Manager since I've done it. Basically I don't have to wait tables anymore. I have to make sure everyone does their job and take care of all the advertisement and everything else. They gave me a raise up to eight fifty an hour."

" Oh my god this is...this is amazing!"

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and he kissed my temple.

" Finally...Things are going to be okay, Bella."

The rest of the day we had celebrated his promotion, and the next day I worked for three hours. When I had gotten home there was a message on my phone when I turned it back on. It was from Carlisle. I listened to it as I took some left over rotisserie chicken from two nights ago. It was still good, and I sliced it thin as I prepared a sandwich with french bread and arugula with some lemon miracle whip.

" Hello, Bella. I hope all is okay since you can't get to the phone, but I wanted to call and see if it would be okay if the four of us came up to New York next week on Saturday; and stay until Tuesday. You can call the house or Esme, or even me. Don't need an imediate answer, darling, if you don't feel comfortable it's fine. I love you, tell my son the same. Bye."

I took a deep breath and set my phone down after erasing the message. I would definitely talk to Edward before deciding to invite them here. He lived here, too, and I wouldn't do anything without talking to him first about it.

When he got home, I had a pot of turkey rice soup already warmed up and cooked on the stove. We ate on the floor, just like old times in my apartment, and I told him about the message I got from Carlisle.

After talking about it from many angles, Edward and I agreed to let them all come here to spend an extended weekend with us. I didn't want to cut my parents out of my life, and maybe spending some time with them would make things less strained as it is right now.

We called back Carlisle and Esme, who were ecstatic to see us and the new apartment. We figured we could leave the white plush couch in the living room for the time being. They said that they would talk to my parents and that they would see us very soon, apparently, they had already booked the tickets before agreeing, that's how excited they were

For the rest of the week, I was very on edge and stressed out over seeing my parents. Edward tried his best to keep my soothed, but I was nervous to see my parents. They were still angry, and I didn't want them yelling in our home. I couldn't deal with that with all of this stress piled ontop of my shoulders.

They were going to be taking a taxi here, because they were landing around the time I had my four month appointment.

That morning, I was as stressed out as ever. Edward woke me up by placing tiny kisses all over my neck, it made me smile for a moment. He frowned at my own frown, taking me into his arms to hold me close against him.

" It'll be fine. I promise. Bella, you've been tense and stressed all week, this isn't good for you."

I sighed, " I know. It's just so hard, Edward."

His lips met mine in a passion-filled kiss, and he stood me up, leading me towards the bathroom as we pealed eachothers clothes off and stepped into the warm stream of water. Edward held onto me, tanging his hands in my now wet hair.

After a good shower we got out and dried off. Edward dressed in the bedroom while I blow dried my hair, which I did as quickly as I could as he got dressed. When he returned, I curled my hair as he shaved and brushed his teeth. I stared at him, the boy next to me that I'd known all my life.

He didn't even look like a boy anymore, Edward looked like a man. A handsome one at that.

" Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked as I unplugged the curling iron.

" You look so much like...a man."

He chuckled, " I should take that as a compliment, right?"

" It's just weird. Remembering us as little kids, preteen, young teens, and teens and then adults. It's weird."

" Well, you look like a women to me. Take that compliment."

I rolled my eyes.

His arms slid around my waist and around my stomach. " Beautiful curves."

" Edward, I'm pregnant."

" And still gorgeous. Your face is still thin, as well as your fingers and ankles. No double chin. All you've got is a beautiful bump that I love."

I smiled and turned around in his arms. He fiddled with the towel around me, and I glared playfully at him, kissing his collarbone before walking towards the bedroom. It was nice and warm outside today, and I lotioned up my legs and put on a pair of denim walking shorts, along with a fitted black v-neck shirt. It showed my bump a little, then again, alot of my clothes were starting to feel a little bit too snug.

Edward tossed me a pair of red sandal kitten heels, only an inch high. I looked over at him and he smiled brilliantly. I relented and put them on just to appease him. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, putting on a little bit of makeup and a spritz of perfume, and Edward and I headed downstairs.

We ate a small breakfast and then Edward and I headed out.

Edward and I entered the office and were called on relatively quickly to go in. I was nervous to see Dr. Hemmingway, I hoped that the babies heart rate was back to normal. I didn't want to go on complete bed rest, but if I had to, I would. The babies health came first.

" How's everything been going? Been keeping calm."

" I'm trying." I said with a deep breath.

She smiled, " Any plans for the weekend?"

" Our families are flying in this afternoon, and they are staying with us a few days."

" Oh! That ought to be fun."

" Or a total disaster." I muttered as I laid back. Edward rubbed my arm and Dr. Hemmingway pulled up my shirt and started with the jell.

Once she put the detector on my stomach, she moved it around to find the babies heartbeat. It took her a moment before I heard the sound take over the room. I sighed and looked at the skin. The baby was getting bigger at this point, almost looking like a real human.

" You can see the babies legs, and the arms. You can also see the head."

She pointed everything out for me before taking a moment of silence and checking the heartbeat. She sighed and looked over at me.

" Have you been taking it easy as I said?"

" Yes."

She looked at Edward, who looked at me.

" Bella is only working three hours, only a few days a week. This week knowing our parents are going to be here has been stressful."

" The heartrate dropped a little bit, I would really at this point want you on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy. Only get up to use the washroom, or anything necessary to stand. We have to keep it up, or you could lose the baby."

Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes. Edward leaned over and kissed my temple.

" You have to try, Bella."

Dr. Hemmingway got us pictures and I cleaned off my stomach and sat up. She looked straight away.

" Bella, you really need to focus on the baby. Eating good, resting, even if it's more then a normal amount of time. In the womb, that's where the baby is protected, and at this time, the baby needs food, and a relaxing little home. Do you see a therapist?"

" The stress is because of the baby, and because the acceptance and adjustments because of it."

Edward rubbed my shoulders.

" Just try, Bella. I don't want to have to put you in hospital bed rest."

I nodded.

" I'd like to see you in two weeks. So you can make an appointment at the front desk. Try, Bella. Okay?"

Once again, I nodded, thanking her and heading to the desk. We made our next appointment in two weeks and then we headed back to the apartment, my leg was shaking and I was fiddling. Edward rubbed my leg.

" Calm down, Bella." Edward said firmly.

He was just as worried about the baby as I was at this point. When he parked the Volvo, I saw the four of them sitting on the steps, talking about something. I hoped they weren't there for long.

Edward opened my door for me and I stepped out. Esme was infront of me in an instant, grasping me tightly in her arms.

" Oh! You look beautiful, your glowing. Look at that little bump!"

I hugged Esme back tightly and she went to 'her boy', and gave him a hug. Carlisle embraced, me, and I had to admit that I missed his hugs. When he released me, my mother made no move to do anything. I looked up at my dad, and he sighed, looking at my obvious bump before taking me into his arms. I hugged him back tightly.

" I missed you, dad."

He rubbed my back and I breathed in his familar scent. " You, too, Bells."

I held onto him tightly, missing my fathers warm embrace. My mother gave me a short brief hug and I opened the apartment door, letting them all in. Esme gushed about the entire place, from the knobs on the cabinets to the way we put the paintings on the wall. She ran upstairs and checked out the bedroom, scolding us about the unmade bed.

My mother seated herself on the couch, and my father mumbled something about a beer.

" Dad, we don't have beer." I told him.

" You'd better not."

" Well, I think we should do some girl shopping, I haven't been running around a mall in forever!" Esme said excitedly.

" About that. Mom, Bella has been put on bed rest after this appointment. The babies heartrate has been dropping from stress, and I don't think it would be a good idea."

" Is everything going to be okay? You should really get some rest."

" It's alright, but I really should be taking it easy."

" You'd never really have an issue of taking such perfect care of yourself if you haven't gotten yourself into this situation." my mother started.

My dad glared at her. " Renee."

She stood up and walked towards me. " We should have never let you move out here with your boyfriend. It was irresponsible for us to make that choice. If you were home, never would you have ended up pregnant. We raised you with respect, not to have a baby out of wedlock."

" Look, Bella has enough to deal with, she doesn't need your comments." Edward stated.

" Growing you up so close together was probably the biggest mistake."

Esme gasped, " Renee, where is this coming from?"

" My daughter was never supposed to end up stuck because of a pregnancy!"

" It's not like I asked for this!" I yelled at her, " Do you think I want a baby right now? No, I don't, but I am having one whether you like one or not. And this baby will be loved by it's parents, just like it is right now."

Edward pulled me against him, " Bella, calm down."

" No! I won't calm down. This isn't fair to be treated like this."

" You should have raised your son not to take advantage of innocent girls." Renee said pointedly at Carlisle.

" I don't appreciate that. We raised Edward with the same respect you raised Isabella." Esme said.

" It's not Edward's fault that birthcontrol was a failure!" I exclaimed.

Suddenly I felt something painfully twist inside of me, and I bent over, gasping in pain at the intense sharpening pain. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

" EDWARD!"

**Authors Note- Leave your thoughts in a review.**


	48. Down The Hill

**Authors Note-**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

EPOV

It seemed like everything went down hill almost too easy. They got here, everything was all okay until Renee started talking about the baby, bringing up the statement of Bella and I's irresponsibility that led to a child. And that led to her basically insulting my mothers child raising skills, and I ended up trying to break up all of their fighting. This wasn't how this weekend was supposed to be.

It was about making things better, not making them worse.

Bella didn't deserve to be talked to like this, or to be treated the way she is by her mother. And I also didn't appreciate her accusing my mother of not raising me right. It insulted me, and her. I wouldn't let that happen.

As I grabbed onto Bella, stopping her from doing anything, she suddenly screamed my name loudly, lurching in my arms.. Everyone was suddenly quiet, looking at Bella. She was bent over, crying out in pain and clutching her stomach. I saw red trickle down her leg, and it started pooling on the floor. She looked down and suddenly collapsed in my arms.

I immediatly laid her on the ground gently, and she was completely knocked out. My dad knelt down next to her, yelling to Charlie to call an ambulance. Bella was limp on the floor, and I could see so much blood coming out of her on the dark wooded floor.

My dad was frantic, and I could tell that he knew what was going on. I could see it in his eyes. I looked at him, panicked.

" Dad, what's happening?"

He was trying to wake Bella up, but he stopped and looked at me.

" I think she is having a miscarriage. There is alot of blood."

My heart completely broke at that moment.

The ambulance arrived soon after and they strapped her to a gurney and rushed her to the hospital. I was right next to her, grasping her limp hand with tears dripping down my face as I watched them check her blood pressure and ask me questions about the pregnancy.

Everything was going too fast, in a harsh blur that almost confused me.

When we got to the hospital, they went past the doors into an emergency room that nobody was allowed to go past. My parents entered the emergency enterance only a moment later, and my mother immediatly walked towards me. I sat down in the plastic chair.

I could see Charlie standing there, and Renee stood, ashamed next to him. I sat with my head in my hands, wanting to know how my baby was, and how my Bella was doing. I wanted to be with her. They could be doing anything at this point/ The receptionist offered us some water, I refused.

I had no idea what I would do if I lost our baby.

In the beginning the thought of being a father scared the shit out of me, it would to any nineteen year old. Nobody is ever really prepared for a child though, and even though I didn't exactly want it now, that didn't mean that I didn't love the little person growing inside the person I loved most.

It wasn't until two months ago that I stared getting really excited about being a dad. Probably sounds like a complete and utter lie to anybody else, but I was. I could see that Bella was not as scared, and her excitement was also staring to shine through this past month.

My body quivered and I felt my mom rub my knee, leaning against me. My father rubbed my back soothingly. Charlie was looking at me like he was just as heartbroken as I was. I wanted to know if the baby was gone. I wanted to be put out of my misery already. The time had passed slow in the past hour, I wanted to see Bella and know my baby was okay.

The ticking on the clock seemed to be louder and louder each moment, irritating me further and making the minutes last longer then they actually were.

Just then a middle aged doctor walked towards me, holding a chart in his hands. I looked up with red eyes, wondering if he was the doctor that had treated Bella.

" Isabella Swan's family?" he asked.

We nodded and he had a look on his face. An expression that I didn't want to see. Sympathetic.

" Hello, I am Dr. Jenkins. And I'm very sorry to deliver this news, but she lost the baby. We had to do an emergency c-section to get him out. She is four month's along, and the baby was developed too much for it to pass. The surgery went okay for her, we stitched her up and she should be waking up soon, I figured someone should be with her. Is one of you the father?"

" I am." I said in a strained voice.

" I'm her mother, I would like to be there." Renee stated, standing up.

The moment I looked at her, I saw red. I stood up before I even knew that the hell I was doing.

" It's all of YOUR fucking fault! Do you realize this? If you hadn't given us such a hard fucking time and stop being such a selfish BITCH then this would have never happened. I LOST MY BABY BECAUSE OF YOU. You took away my chance of being a father!" I screamed at her.

I felt two hands grip my arms, " Edward, calm down." my father said.

" No, she took my chance to have a family away! She killed my baby."

My body shook and I felt myself falling to the ground, my heart ripping into tiny pieces.

I wasn't going to be a father.

We lost the baby.

" Mr. Cullen. We still have the baby. Nurses cleaned him up and wrapped him in a blanket. I presume you would like to have a buriel. You can see him, say goodbye."

" Him?" I choked out.

" Yes, it was a boy."

Leaving everybody else behind, I peeled myself off of the floor and followed the doctor. We walked down many hallways, it was really cold. I hoped that Bella was still asleep, and warm. I didn't want her to wake up without me, seeing herself wrapped up and realized that happened herself.

The doctor led me to a small room, the lights were on, but they weren't so bright as the lights in a normal room usually are. In the corner of the room I noticed a small hospital baby cradle. I was torn with looking, and not looking.

With a strong breath, I slowly walked over.

When I looked, I could see how small he was, and probably could just fit in my hand. His nose was tiny, and even though it was, I could see he would have had my Bella's nose. He was wrapped up in a blanket that was obviously too big for him. His head was very small, his skin almost grey. He had no eyelashes, but eyelids. His ears weren't completely developed, but close.

I didn't fucking care that I sat and sobbed infront of the doctor. He didn't say anything, because I knew that he'd probably gotten alot of people who had this reaction, but who could look at this scene and not care.

This precious little life was torn from me, and I would have never gotten to meet him.

When I looked up at him, he nodded apologetically. I rested my hand on the clear cradle.

" Can I?" I looked at him, then my son.

My son...

He nodded and I reached in and just touched his cold cheek with my finger. I let out a broken sob and took my hand away quickly, leaning forward towards the little bed.

" I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you never got to meet your mommy or me. I love you, I'm sorry, baby."

Everything seemed to be too much at that moment.

I didn't know if I could tell Bella. How could I look into her eyes and tell her that he was gone.

The doctor led me to where Bella was, and when I got in the room, she was still asleep. Her heartbeat was even, and he said that she would have a full recovery. He left after telling me he was sorry for our loss, also mentionting that she would awake soon.

I sat in the chair next to her her, holding her hand and crying into it.

She was asleep for another fifteen minutes before she started to come around. I leaned over the bed, my hand on her cheek as she opened her eyes. Something in her eyes told me that she already knew something was wrong.

Her small body moved, and she cried out slightly. The stitches probably pulled at her skin.

" Edward..."

" He's gone, Bella. He's gone." I cried into her neck, not able to get a handle on myself.

" Who?" she asked.

" It was a boy, Bella. He's...he's gone."

Her eyes filled up with tears and a small sob escaped her mouth. I curled up on the bed next to her and held her against me, careful of her stitches. Her tiny body wracked with sobs, and I cried into her neck as I grieved for our loss.

Only one question came to my mind.

Why couldn't we even had the chance to try and be parents?

Bella refused to see Renee, and everytime she looked at me fresh tears came to her eyes. She didn't let me go, even when Charlie came into the room. He sat on the side of the bed and kissed her temple, telling her how sorry he was for all of the stress.

My mom was crying quietly, my father looking just as upset as her. I held Bella to me, rocking her to try and soothe her. She didn't say anything, all she did was cling to me without any chance of letting me go. I tried to feed her, but she flat out refused food.

I couldn't believe that all this could have happened because the stress she's been going through. I'd convinced the doctors to let Bella go home tonight, my dad played a big part in it. They made sure to give us a bag of all of the needed dressing for Bella's cut.

They told us that her scar would heal, and it wouldn't very visable, it was a small scar, nothing overwhelming and it would hide under her undergarments. Bella really didn't even seemed to care how it healed.

We saw Dr. Hemmingway. She felt absolutely awful and expressed that to us. She said that she wished she would have told Bella to go on bedrest earlier, or refered us to a therapist. I'd actually never seen a doctor actually be genuinely upset about someones situation because it's unprofessional, but she gave her condolences and left the hospital.

Apparently Renee had just left and gone back home to Chicago like a coward. Charlie said he would get a flight iin the morning, he didn't want her to be alone and do something stupid. Of course this always turned into something that was about Renee.

She was a selfish bitch.

I signed papers for Bella to discharge her, and took her home. I held her in my arms the whole way to the house, making sure not to falter in my hold. I didn't want to let her go either. When we arrived home though, I had put her upstairs in bed. She'd still been crying, but her eyes were dry from all of it. Charlie went upstairs for awhile, and I let him be with her for a moment. To talk.

I sat on the couch my head in my hands, trying to grasp onto the situation. Dad had cleaned up all of the blood from when it happened this afternoon, I was extremely grateful for that. Bella hadn't seen it, and I didn't want her too. I didn't even think I could handle seeing it either.

They put her on meds for the pain, but right now, she was grieving.

Also, they had given me a prescription for a low dosage for an anti-depressant. Which I wasn't surprised if she would need it.

" I can't believe..."

" It'll be okay, Edward. I promise. Son, it happens to alot of people, Bella was under alot of stress, which affected the baby."

" But _why _us? What did we do to deserve it."

" It's not about what you deserve, son. It happens, and Bella has tried to keep stress-free, but she couldn't."

Tears streamed down my face and I shook my head. " He was so tiny." I whispered.

My mom wrapped her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. " I'm so sorry, baby. I am so so sorry.'

" Edward, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Bella really wants you right now."

I looked at Charlie, then at the rest of them. I felt bad for them. This was supposed to be a good weekend, that turned into the worlds biggest nightmare, and now I had to take care of my heart-broken love, while dealing with my own heart-break.

" I'll order some chinese. Do you have a menu for a good place, sweetie?"

I nodded. " Drawer all the way to the right in the kitchen. Thank you, mom."

I headed upstairs and saw Bella sitting somewhat up, she was fiddling with a string on the blanket. Her eyes were mostly blank, she looked so numb and empty. When she saw me she looked up, tears welling up in her chocolate brown eyes.

" I was starting to look forward to being a mom." she said quietly, her voice cracking.

Quickly I went to Bella, laying next to her and gently folding her into my side. She hugged herself to me as best as she could, and I rested my face close to hers, grasping her hand tightly. I hated this, feeling like this and having to grow through it.

" He was so tiny." I whispered, more tears spilling down my cheeks.

" You saw..."

I nodded, " Yeah. God, Bella. He was so small, I could tell he had your little nose."

Bella quivered in my arms, crying quietly into the pillow. I kissed the side of her neck, rubbing her side and trying to soothe her crying.

" I wish I could have done something. Made you spend more time laying down, no working at all, kept all the stress away."

" Edward, don't blame yourself." she whispered.

I kissed her chin. " Why did this happen to us?"

Another small sob escaped her, " I don't know, but I...I just want him back."

I rubbed her back, kissing her temple and trying to soothe her. She let me rock her back and forth gently. I could tell she was in alot of pain from the c-section, but she was trying to hid it. Esme and Carlisle briefly came up, with a plate full of food. I helped them set up downstairs before heading back upstairs.

Bella was already asleep, and I changed my clothes and got into bed. I stared at the ceiling, feeling so empty inside, like everything I had was just gone today. I heard a sniff beside me, before the bed was slightly shaking.

" Edward." Bella whimpered.

I moved behind her, curling up with her securely in my arms. She calmed down a little by knowing I was here, and I was holding her.

" It's my fault."

" No, Bella. It was everything else. It was never you, Bella."

" If I would have just calmed down. No-None of it would have happened."

" Your wrong." I stated firmly. " Anybody in your situation would have had the same outcome. It was acceptance, and all of the motions of being a mother that stressed you out. It's normal, Bella. Maybe this was a way of saying we weren't ready, love."

" I feel so empty."

" I know. I know." I whispered

Bella made a motion to sit up, but she gasped in pain. I sat up, helping her slowly, letting her take the pace she was comfortable at. Once she stood, she let out a shuddering breath. I slowly helped her to the washroom as she asked, and let her be once she shut the door.

I sat on the bed, almost wishing I could have the world swallow me up whole. A few minutes later Bella opened the door, still bent over with pain. I went to her, gently taking her in my arms and sitting on the bed. Her body was weak, I could feel it by just holding her. Once she was back in bed, I tucked the blanket around her.

" Do you want something to eat, love? My parents are getting chinese food."

She shook her head.

" Can you promise me you will eat later."

She nodded and closed her eyes, I kissed her forehead, smoothing her hair back. I laid with her until I knew she was fast asleep. I filled a plate up with food and stood in the kitchen to eat it. Charlie was already fast asleep, and my dad was on the leather couch watching television.

" How is she?"

" She's...dealing like anybody else would."

Mom nodded, wrapping her arm around my waist. " You know, I had a miscarriage after you. I was only two months pregnant, you were only a year and a half old. It was terrible, they had no idea why I miscarried. But you helped me so much, I just found my focus in you and made sure I was the best mother."

I was surprised to hear this news, I had never knew that it happened to my mom. I could have been an older brother to somebody.

" So find the happiness, Edward. Focus on it. Try to work on it, because if you don't, it will destroy you both."

I set my fork down and wrapped my arms around my mom. I was nineteen, and who gives a damn if I still need my mother to hug me and tell me everything would be okay. She kissed the side of my head.

" It'll be okay, sweetheart. Give it time, and be there for her, show her your never going anywhere, like you always have."

" Thanks, mom."

" Of course...And I was talking with your father a little bit over dinner."

I took a bite of chicken, walking her warily.

" Well, Edward, you are still going to have to work. And Bella can't do much right now but heal, so I was thinking I could take a brief leave from work and help you both. I know you want to be there for Bella, but while your at work, I don't want her to be all alone."

I took a deep breath.

Damn work to hell.

" Okay... I don't...Damn, I don't want her all alone either."

The next day, I drove Charlie to the airport while Bella stayed at home with Carlisle and Esme.

We didn't talk much, but I was shocked when he pulled me into a tight hug, telling me to take care of Bella. He said he would call us, check in to see how we were doing. Charlie was a very soft-spoken person, I was shocked that he'd actually hugged me, but I could see that he felt terrible about the situation.

I didn't want him to.

This morning, I hoped to wake up and everything could have been a messed up dream. I could have laughed and mentally called myself a nutter. The way back from the airport was kind of long, but it was quiet.

When I got to the apartment and opened the door, I saw my mom rushing towards me.

" She woke up, she was really upset. You should go upstairs, your father is with her."

Quickly I scalled the steps, and when I came upon our room, I could hear her sobbing. When I opened the door, I saw my dad sitting on the side of the bed, trying his best to comfort her. He looked relieved when he noticed me. She was inconsolable to everyone else now.

I went to the side of the bed, brushing my hand over her cheek. Her eyes opened and she calmed for a moment, grasping onto me tightly and then wincing. I scooted over next to her and held her in my arms, making sure she knew I was here.

" You left, you were gone. Just like...Just like..."

" Oh, love. I'm not going anywhere. I'm always here, never will I ever leave you, I promise you."

I clutched her, kissing her temple and jaw. Her trembling started to ease, and I sighed into her hair.

" Are you hungry, Bella?"

She nodded, snuggling closer to me.

" How about we go downstairs and get something to eat."

Bella yawned, and I gently scooped her up in my arms. I took her downstairs and I let her lay on the couch. I noticed how she avoided looking at the foyer, it didn't slip my notice. The chinese from last night was still good. I warmed up a plate of things that she liked and took it towards her, along with a glass of coke.

She looked at the coke for a long moment, and I realized that normally she hadn't been drinking it because of the baby, but I found no reason for her not to drink it now. For a long moment she stared at it.

" Do you want something else, beloved?" I whispered in her ear.

" No, it's fine."

Dad approached me, and he was asking me questions about the area around here. I told him where the grocery store was, strip malls, the mall and a few other shops. He said he was taking mom out shopping, because he knew she was dying to, and he wanted to try and cheer her up just for a few hours.

They borrowed Bella's car, saying they would be back later and to take care. I sat close to Bella's body, not wanting to leave her. She ate slowly, but she ate none-the-less. Slowly she drank the coke, but she seemed so discouraged just looking at the drink.

Once she finished eating everything off the plate, I helped her to stand and walk to the bathroom. washroom and helped her back to the couch once she was finished. I laid on the couch with her, and she was playing with the buttons on my shirt.

" Edward?" Bella whispered.

" Yeah?"

" Do you think if she never showed up, it wouldn't have ever happened?"

I looked down at Bella, conflicted with how to work the answer I wanted to give her.

" Well, I think all of them fighting threw you over the edge, and I think maybe if you would have been on bedrest already, and the stress was low, things wouldn't have escalated as they did. And they would have known not to do anything. I don't know, Bella. I really don't want to blame Renee completely, but she played a big part in the stress."

Bella nodded.

" It will be okay, Bella."

" Are we going to bury him?"

" In the hospital, they have a garden center, where alot of babies that are miscarried are buried. They have small headstones and everything, they offered to bury him there if we wanted to chose that."

" I don't want to have to...take him all the way to Chicago."

I brushed her hair away from her face, wiping her tears. " We can take trips here, Bella, once we graduate and move back. And we can visit, whenever."

" I want him to have the name."

" What?"

" He's our first son, I want him to have the name. I don't want to just bury him and have no name, Edward."

I was surprised, but somehow almost not surprised. She wanted him to have the name, so then he would have the name. If it made her happy, and that was what she wanted, so be it. I was going to let her have her way, and I truly had no issue with it.

I stared down into her brown eyes, wiping more tears from her red streaked cheeks.

Declan Edward.

**Authors Note-**

**Your probably surprised, thinking why the middle name would be Edward. Even before they got together, Bella still wanted to give her baby his middle name because Edward was her best friend and she wanted to, and if Edward got the name, well self explanitory, it's his name, he wanted to pass it on somehow. But they both loved the name Declan, and that's what they wanted.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	49. Help

**Authors Note- I'd appreciate if all of notes at the end of the chapter will be read. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

August 3rd

Sunday

EPOV

The week afterwards was difficult to say in the least.

My father went home to resume work, and my mother stayed with Bella and I to help out around the house. She was a god send, I have no idea how I could ever repay her for all that she has done already. Alice had flown in here last Friday, and she also has been staying with us, keeping Esme and Bella on their toes with her excitement of being in New York.

Bella has taken a leave of absence from work for the time being, she still is in the healing process from surgery, and I am slowly trying to get myself back into my schedule, trying to try and heal in my own way after the loss of our baby.

Bella is doing okay, I thank god every damn day for her being able to accept what has happened, and not go into downfall depression. They said PTSD was very common with miscarriage, especially four months into the pregnancy. It wasn't that Bella was happy about it, I could see it in her eyes that she was sad. I could also see though, that she was dealing with it the best she could and trying to get on.

She told me that her scar would forever remind her, but that maybe it was just gods way of telling us that we weren't ready, that maybe that wasn't our chance to try. Maybe all of the obstacles were put in our way because of that.

We had Declan Edward Cullen buried in the small garden cemetary at the hospital four days later.

The first week, we were all just trying to have everything sink in, after the burial everything seemed too real. We didn't hear from Renee, but Charlie called everyday to talk to Bella or I, seeing how everything was going. Even if it was five minutes, it meant alot to us.

I resumed work, and applied for my classes.

I talked to Bella about this, and we agreed that once I was finished with pre-law, I would apply for Law schools in Chicago and we could go home, and Bella could find a job downtown and settle in there. Since I would have to do two years of law after four years of Pre-Law, Bella and I would be graduated from this college, and we could move.

It was easy to talk naturally about planning our lives, knowing we would end up together. Already we shared the apartment, and we both thought it would be stupid at this point to find seperate apartments again.

Bella had gotten her classes all set up, she was three weeks into healing, and probably had another week or two. Which was great because school started up again the eighteenth, a Monday. And she would be healed.

I pulled up to the house, after a long day at work. I was exhausted, and I was glad to be back in school soon, only, I would be working even more. I knew that I wouldn't have much working time coming up, but our income was good.

My parents were paying for all my school expenses, and I knew Bella's father said he would put some money away for Bella every month and send it to us. Charlie had been very present in our lives recently.

When I walked in, I got a big whiff of garlic.

Have I mentioned how much my mom has helped out the past few weeks. Alice I think was also enjoying the cooking.

I knew that on Tuesday she was leaving, and Alice was going along with her, but I really wanted to give my mom something, to thank her for all that she has done. And Alice, for being there emotionally for Bella. This week she really has been bringing her positive attitude in the apartment. I went into the kitchen, taking my jacket off. I basically have to wear a suit to work now, to keep up a professional image.

" Hey, mom. How are you?" I asked.

She turned around from the stove, still stirring a pot of homemade spaghetti.

" Hi, sweetheart. I'm okay. How was work?"

" Good. Where's Bella? Laying down?"

" In the bath!" Alice chirped from the couch, flipping though a fashion magazine.

I sighed, " Thank you mom, and you too Alice. For being here for Bella, and Mom for just cooking and everything. How about you guys just go out tonight

" Oh, no that's fine."

I slid over a Visa gift card, one for them to share between them. " Go have fun, both of you. I insist. Here, take the Volvo."

" Edward!"

" Shh, just go have fun. I know you've been wanting to, and I want you to."

She ran around the island and wrapped her arms around me. " Your a good, kid. You've dealt with so much more than anybody I know."

Alice squealed and hopped off the couch, running towards me and wrapping her arms around me. Her happiness was vibrating off of her.

" Now go have fun."

After my mother excitedly bounced out of the house with an equally as happy Alice beside her, I headed upstairs to see my Bella. I opened up the bedroom door, putting my jacket on the bed, along with my tie and shirt. I took my shoes and socks off, heading for the bathroom in only my boxers and suit pants.

I knocked on the door before opening it.

Bella was in the bath, bubbles all around her with her chocolate colored hair piled ontop of her head with a few pieces hanging around her tucked behind her ear. She was staring at the water, gently moving her hands around in the bubbles

" Hello, love." I said quietly, kneeling by the side of the bathtub to give her a kiss.

She kissed me back chastely and I pulled away.

" Hi." she whispered.

I ran my hand over her cheek and she smiled slightly, leaning into my touch.

" Can I join you?"

Bella looked surprised for a moment, but she nodded. I stripped off the rest of my clothing, taking notice that she was infact watching me. I got into the bath next to her. The bath was wide, and pretty long. Just enough to fit us both. She laid against me, her head resting on my shoulder.

" How are you feeling today?"

" Okay."

" Your stomach?"

" The muscles are getting stronger, still hurts but it's not as bad."

I wrapped my arms around her upper body, pulling her against me.

" How are _you_?" I asked her.

She turned her head and looked at me. " I won't lie and tell you I'm feeling perfect. I'm okay though, and I just...I'm trying to get better. Everyday it gets easier. But I just...I still can't believe it happened."

I pressed my lips against her jaw. " Everything will be okay. I have those days where it's just a shock. And some where I hope that I'm dreaming and I'll wake up with you beside me with everything how it was."

" I can't shake the feeling." she whispered.

I ran my hands over her hips and gently up the side of her waist. The water was hot, and I really just wanted to lay here with her and disappear for awhile. I curled Bella's body into me, and she relaxed, letting her body unwind.

" I love you."

" I love you, too."

For a while longer we laid in the warm bubbly water, that is, until it grew cold. I got out first, wrapping a towel around my waist and helped ease Bella up. I wrapped a towel around her, and she leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back.

We went into the bedroom and changed into our sleep clothes. Bella and I went downstairs to have some dinner, and then relaxed on the couch infront of the television. At around nine, Alice and my mom were still out shopping, and I carried an asleep Bella upstairs for sleep.

I gently set her on the mattress, covering her up with the comforter. I smiled against her neck, laying on my side. She still couldn't really lay in her normal sleep position, but soon she would be. I knew it bugged her having to sleep on her back.

" We'll be okay." I whispered quietly in her ear

" I know."

She slightly startled me, I thought she'd been asleep. I gently rubbed her arm, placing small kisses all over her neck.

" Do you forgive me?" I heard her whisper quietly.

I looked at her, confused.

" Forgive you for what, beloved?"

" For everything. For basically...just...letting the stress take over me and have this outcome."

" Bella, it's not your fault!...The stress of everything is what triggered it, and nobody could have expected you to handle everything at once. I've never blamed you for anything that has happened. never has a thought like that crossed my mind."

" I just think that if I would have sucked it up, everything would have been great."

I wrapped her up in my arms, trying to soothe her.

" No, Bella. That wouldn't be you, and it's not honest. Losing the baby was not your fault. Everything around you caused the stress, and you just couldn't handle all of it. Love, it was never your fault."

Bella nodded against my chest, and I rubbed her ribs gently.

" I know it might not be enough to hear me say it Bella, but I never blamed you for anything. I blame everything that was put in your path to make everything hard on you."

" It's just like...everything was being thrown at me left and right and I didn't know how to handle it, and where to put the stress. I just didn't know how to take it all at once and..."

Her soft sobs took over, making her body quake, I held her, kissing her temple and trying to help her calm down. I wiped her tears, and kissed them away. Her hand gripped mine tightly, hanging on for dear life.

" It will be okay, Bella. Everything will fall into place for us, I promise."

I let Bella get everything out of her system, hoping that it would make her feel better if she let out her pent up emotions. It was around eleven when she had calmed down, and we both fell asleep soon after we heard our front door close, signalling my mother and Alice home.

The next few days without my mother I had to say, were really hard. I knew we couldn't keep her forever though, my father was probably already as lonely as it is. Bella's happiness faltered a bit when both my mother and Alice left, but I tried my best to keep her spirits up.

She was able to get around the house better now, but I still didn't like coming home and seeing her cleaning. I'd taken her to the doctor, and they said that she could go back to her normal everyday schedule, as school was now only a week away. They adjusted my hours this week, so I was getting home early, but I still took evening shifts if anyone needed it.

Bella started going back to work for a little while, but most nights we were together. I tried to make sure that dinner was taken care of, not wanting her to have to deal with it. I would either bring home some chinese, or something from a resturaunt, or I would stop by the grocery store to get some chicken or meat to make something nice for her.

Of course, that was thrown into my face later on when I came home with yet another nice dinner.

" I CAN COOK, EDWARD! I am not disabled!"

" I'm just trying make things easier on yo-"

" Just shut up! I'm fine, nothing in my life is hard enough to have you make it easier! Can you please stop doing all this. I am SICK of you shutting me down when I say I can make dinner, or saying that you'll clean up the house and vacuum. And I am SICK of you asking me every second of the day how I am feeling. I feel suffocated! So can you back the fuck off for five seconds so I can breathe."

Angry, I set dinner down on the table and threw my jacket on the couch harshly.

" Well FUCK me for trying. I'm running around trying to support us, making sure that your not going into downfall depression and trying to make things easier for you!" I yelled back at her.

" This isn't even about the miscarriage, Edward. I do-"

" IT ISN'T? Oh, really. Everything is about that! And I'm sorry for trying to make sure your okay. just because your my fucking girlfriend now doesn't mean I give less of a shit then I used to."

" Yeah, like you were a very dedicated friend like what? Two years ago?"

I glared hard at her, pissed at her for trying to take a stab at me like that. She knew that I felt terrible for treating her so poorly for the years I dated Tanya. She fucking knew that.

" Low blow, way to rub salt in the wounds!"

" Oh, please. Don't be such a baby about it."

" You know what. I don't fucking need this...I have done so much for us this past couple months. Have you ever maybe stopped to consider that? While you were stressed out about the pregnancy, I was there for you and made sure you were okay. I was the one who called my dad and asked him to help us look for an apartment for us, and the one who took care of all the bills when you had to cut back hours. I've given up a goddamn good part of my life for us."

" Given up YOUR life. What changes have you possibly made?"

" I'm nineteen! Fuck, Bella. I am the Manager of a resturaunt, already living with my girlfriend who I plan on marrying. I've basically been a dad already, and I am paying the bills for everything. How many nineteen year olds do you see doing all that?"

" I've done all you've done!"

" Well, lets make it a fucking competition. I bought dinner, but go ahead and throw it out and make your own, since your so partial to that."

I walked up the stairs and to the bedroom, slamming the door shut harshly. I took my tie off, throwing it at the floor angrily.

She was so infuriating. I try to do a few nice things and I get yelled at. Fuck that.

I grabbed my cigarette's from the side drawer and headed back downstairs, out of the front door. I leaned against it and slid down, taking a cigarette out of the package and lighting one. I took one long drag and sighed. It was good, and it relaxed my body so easily.

After smoking two, I sat outside for awhile. The air was chilled, but I was glad for a moment to think and calm myself down.

Was it too big a wish to want to go back to before Bella and I started having regular sex?

I would have never imagined I would be at this point in my life. I never thought I would be in a situation like this. Never did I see myself as the struggling boyfriend who just dealt with his girlfriends miscarriage.

Before I could even try and control myself I started crying, not even caring if I was acting like a girl, or a little kid that just got his toy stolen. I was losing myself in this mess that I call my life.

I wished that I could just repeat highschool, knowing what not to do and stop fucking everything up. If I never got Bella pregnant in the first place, this would have never happened. None of this shit.

And if I opened my eyes more, I would have seen years ago how much she loved me, and now how badly depressed she was during the whole pregnancy. I should have paid more attention, done something.

I heard a small knock on the door, and I looked up, seeing Bella standing behind the glass door. I moved down a step, letting her come out. It was fucking cold, and she was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, my old football t-shirt.

Her eyes were bloodshot, and she'd clearly been crying. She sat down next to me, staring up at me with watery eyes.

" I'm so sorry, Edward." she whispered.

I wrapped my arm around her, holding her tightly against my side. I could feel her slowly breaking down against me, her tears soaking through my shirt with her hands clutching the fabric. I rested my cheek ontop of her head, letting my own tears fall down my face.

" It's okay." I replied.

" It's not. This isn't us. We don't fight like this. We are best friends. I love you. I never thought that would ruin us."

" We aren't ruined, Bella." I said, rubbing her arm.

She nodded her head, disagreeing with me and still crying into my shirt. I adjusted her to hold her in my arms, wanting to go in the house. I carried her in, locking the front door behind me. When I set her on the couch, she still hung onto me.

" I didn't mean it, Edward. I appreciate everything you've done to make things easy on me. And I didn't mean it when I said you weren't a good friend."

I reached over the back of the couch for her blanket, draping it over her body and mine as I laid us down. Bella wiped her tears, and I gazed down at her, brushing my hand over her cheek.

" Bella, I don't want us to fight. I just thought that by helping out and taking over a few things, life would be a little more easier."

" I want to make dinner for you, clean the house. It makes me feel like I am getting my normal life back. And as much as I wish these past few weeks were a dream, I need to get back to the normal schedule and keep busy, or else this will tear me into pieces."

" But are you _okay _Bella?"

She closed her eyes. " I'm okay. I am doing the best that I can."

" I love you." I told her.

" I love you, too."

I wrapped her up in my arms, and Bella rested her face close to my neck, pressing her lips briefly to my collarbone. I moved away from her for a moment, taking my belt off and tossing it on the floor. I tried to reach down to the zipper of my pants, but bumped Bella's lower stomach. It was still a little tender, and she winced.

" Damn, Bella, are yo-"

" I'm okay. Here."

She helped me unzip my pants, and I kicked them the rest of the way off as she unbuttoned my shirt, tossing it on the floor carelessly before laying against my bare chest. I rubbed her back gently, whispering how much I loved her in her ear.

I didn't want to fight with her about dinner, or about who pays most of the bills for what. It didn't fucking matter, Bella and I were going to be just fine. We would get through the trauma of the miscarriage, we would be okay, and as Bella said, a normal schedule. We both needed to get back to our normal life, or atleast find a way to get back to it.

" I just want to lay in your arms forever." she murmured, rubbing her hand in circles on my chest.

" Can we?"

Bella laughed quietly. " I wish."

I leaned down, placing kisses on her neck. She let out a content sigh, closing her eyes and leaning into the pillow. I kissed up her jaw and pressed my lips to hers. I could honestly say we haven't just been us, or shared a nice kiss, in a damn long time.

Bella kissed me back slowly, and I revelled in the feeling of her soft lips on mine. I wrapped both of my arms around her, sighing into her mouth. She pulled away from me after a moment, giving me a chaste kiss.

" We should go upstairs, unless you want to wake up with a backache."

I yawned. " Yeah, come on."

Keeping the blanket wrapped around her, I lifted her up into my arms and carried her upstairs to our bedroom. I sat down on the edge of the bed, Bella curled up against my chest. After scooting around, we laid tangled up together under the covers.

" What do you think it would be like, you and I, with a baby." Bella asked quietly

" I'd probably be crying from lack of sleep." I said, laughing.

She smiled, brushing strands of hair out of my face. " We all know Edward Cullen needs his beauty sleep."

" I think you would been a great mother, Bella. Despite the circumstances."

Bella looked up at me. " Sure about that?"

I ran my hand down her back, fiddling with the hem of the football jersey and slipping my hand under the fabric, gently rubbing her back.

" Yes, I am. Your a wonderful best friend, and a just as good girlfriend. I couldn't ask for better."

**Authors Note- Really wanted to get this out to you all, if you follow me on twitter you know all the struggles of not having so much time to write as I used to. For that I apologize, but follow me to know what's going on. Link is in my profile.**

**Also.**

**I got a few people asking me why I put up a poll, if I was going to end it up with a miscarriage, all I have to really say about that, is that I said that not everything is as the they seem. Which in the end, came out as true.**

**Review if you'd like.**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**


	50. Twenty

**Authors Note- I know, it's been a little while. If life wasn't kicking me in the ass this wouldn't happen.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

Tuesday

September 9th

BPOV

I couldn't fully explain to anybody how it felt to have miscarried a child. All I could say, was that everything felt empty for a long while. It felt weird not having my little baby inside of me, something just didn't feel right. My body had become used to the extra weight, it stretching to fit something so special.

Something special that was tragically taken away from me, because of all the stress I let get to my head, get to affecting me physically. And no matter what, or who would tell me otherwise, it was just something I couldn't shake.

I know that it's not my fault, and Edward constantly tells me enough that I finally know now. He is right, because it was everything around me. I just wished that I had never let it affect me like I let it. Because in the end it only caused two broken hearts, and two people longing to know what could have been.

Edward was great, infact, he was too great to the point of annoying me. But I know he is only trying to help, and what I had said to him didn't make matters better. He'd always been my confidant, since we were little kids and that would never change. He is my best friend and much more than that. He is everything to me.

In some messed up way, we were basically back in the order of our relationship. Both of us had said from the beginning that we had wanted to wait until marriage to have a baby, which almost depressed me at this point. Maybe it was somewhere in the sky that someone didn't want us to have a baby, that it just wasn't time. We were one of the unlucky ones.

After I started to heal, life just kind of started to move on. School started up again, and I started working and getting used to my life living with Edward, and getting used to life before a baby.

Time goes by. Even for us.

It's already September, and Alice and Jasper have already started planning their summer wedding, and are very ecstatic for it to be here. She's been calling me non-stop about colors, flowers, venue's and everything imaginable. On Christmas break I promised her that we would fly down to Chicago because she wanted me to be there for her wedding dress shopping.

Rosalie was her maid of honor, and she chose me to be a bridesmaid.

Of course, I didn't say much about it, originally she said she wanted to pick me, but I told her to go with what she wanted, and apparently that was Rosalie. It hurt a little bit, considering I was the one who was there when Rosalie was treating her wrong, and spent hours on the phone letting her get everything out. But I said nothing.

Edward was a groomsman, as was Emmett and her father was the best man, and also of course walking her down the aisle to her perfect wedding. Somehow, I felt like everyone around me was moving on, and Edward and I were the same, because of everything that happened we were set back a little bit. I think we'd had sex once since all of this, but it was weird for me.

With a long sigh, I dropped my book bag on the floor, Edward had a plate of re-heated pasta on the end table by the couch, homework piled all around him. When he noticed me, a breathtaking smile came over his face and he sprung up, walking towards me. His arms wrapped around my waist.

" I missed you." he whispered, nuzzling my neck.

I smiled, " Missed you, too."

He tipped my chin up and chastely kissed my lips. I leaned into him, licking his bottom lip and feeling his lips part to mingle his tongue with mine. He sighed quietly into my mouth, becoming enthusiastic and kissing me more passionately.

Edward backed me up against the wall, his hands moving underneath my shirt. I tensed up.

Now, I wasn't calling myself fat, but I still had about an extra fifteen pounds, my stomach was a little bit jiggle-ish, and just the little bit bothered me. I'd been running alot at the gym, trying to get it off so I could have the completely flat belly that I used to. I've taken a few showers with him, but this feels different.

I pulled away from Edward, pushing my shirt down.

" What's wrong?"

" I just...don't feel comfortable."

" Why?"

" Because, I've been trying to work off all the...excess from the baby."

" Your telling me that just because you have like ten pounds more on your stomach and it's not as perfetly right as it used to be, now you don't feel comfortable with me touching you? Bella, we shower together."

I sighed. " I don't expect you to understand."

" Bella, you are beautiful to me."

" Please, don't..."

He brought me back to him, kissing my forehead. " I love you, you can tell me when you're comfortable. I'm always here, always."

I slipped my arms around his neck, and held onto him tightly.

" How was class?" I asked as he set me down.

" Good, homework is terrible. But what's new. How about you, love?"

" Good, tiring."

Edward sat back down on the couch, pulling me to his side. I slinked next to him, smiling and laying with my head on his shoulder. As my eyes shut, I felt his hand massaging my hip, his long fingers working down to my thighs. I moved my legs, draping them over his lap as he moved over my knee to my calf.

" I need to do my homework." I said quietly.

" Do you want something to eat?" he asked.

" Not right now, later. I stopped at Panera at around three thirty and had a sandwich and soup, so I am still a little full."

" Okay, beloved."

I lugged my bag over to the couch, slumping down next to Edward. He twirled some pasta onto his fork and took a large bite.

" Alice called my cell phone like...five times. Is your phone on?" Edward asked.

" Ugh, no. I'm sorry it ran out of battery during class. She's been calling every hour, I swear."

He chuckled, " Yeah, she was rambling something about Lillies and Daisies."

" Yeah, she's all for summer. Basically they are going with light yellows, white, blue."

Edward nodded, " Yeah, I think Jasper was talking colored vests yesterday. I told him that I was not wearing some crazy colored tie. Apparently Alice wants him with a bow tie, and then us Emmett, her dad and I wearing ties to be different."

" That's Alice." I said, rifling through my binder,

We were doing our homework for a good two hours, and we finished around ten. Our work schedules now were completely similar, Edward was actually able to pick his hours, and we made our basically the same. Instead of having Friday and Saturday off for me, I had the entire weekend off, and worked from three to seven on weekdays, and Edward worked from three fifteen to seven. We see eachother briefly, when he walks in the house to get ready after class, I am leaving. Although next semester I will have a seven thirty class on Wednesdays, which sucks, but I have to do what I have to do.

Edward pulled me into the shower with him, and we fooled around a bit, which ended us on the floor about twenty minutes into the shower, laughing obnoxiously. He wrapped me up in a towel, kissing my forehead. I grabbed onto his shoulders as he lifted me up, giggling into his neck. He let out a playful growl, tackling me onto our bed.

" You're getting our bed wet you nutter!" I exclaimed as he kissed down my neck.

" Mmm, I don't care. Your skin taste delicious."

" Edward." I sighed, running my fingers through his hair.

" I love you, Izzy B." he whispered, kissing my nose and pulling away.

" Oh, I haven't heard that nickname in a damn long time." I said, smiling.

He cocked his head to the side.

" I love you, too, love."

Edward dabbed his towel through my hair, dampening it a bit and ruffled his own crazy hair. When I felt his hand on my stomach, I jumped.

" You've always been beautiful to me, no matter what. I just want you to know that, okay?"

I nodded, leaning forward to kiss his lips. His fingers tangled in my hair, and I could feel us getting a little carried away. His towel barely covered him, and his body shifted over mine as he hoovered over me. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and I gripped his biceps.

His tongue explored my mouth, and I could feel him move to the side, cradling me against him. I laid against his side, molding my body to his. Edward's hand travelled up my back, resting on the back of my neck. Our legs tangled together, and torso's pressed tightly together.

I felt his hands wander over my back, moving the towel down to massage my back as he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping my lips against his. He let out a small growl against my lips before pulling away.

" Mmm, you are gorgeous." he whispered.

I smiled and pulled away from him, holding the towel against me. With a long sigh, I sat up, running my hand through my almost dry hair. I put on a pair of cotton underwear, and a pair of shorts. I tossed Edward a pair of boxers and grabbed one of his t-shirts.

I jumped onto the bed, and Edward tackled me down playfully as I kneeled, laughing into my mouth as he kissed me.

" I love you, so much."

I'd missed this playful side of us, the little spark of almost child-like acting. He hugged my waist, resting his head on my chest and gently rubbing my side.

" Wanna watch a movie or something?"

" Mmm, sure."

I launched out of bed. " What are we watching?"

" Ameri-"

" Edward." I whined. " I am not watching American Pie 2."

" But my Birthday is in...hm? Four days?"

" And so is mine, so please!"

" Bellaaaa." he hummed.

I groaned, " Okay, fine!"

Quickly I hopped down the stairs and grabbed the movie from the shelf. I could just sit through a damn movie with Edward, it was just a movie.

" Oh my god, what idiot get's his hand stuck to his di-"

" Edward. I know, you've said it ten times." I said with a laugh.

He kissed my head, and I could feel his smile.

I twisted the blankets with my fingers and Edward drew me towards his chest. I leaned into him, sighing against his neck. His hand ran down my thigh to the back of my knee, hooking my knee over his thigh.

His lips found mine, gently pressing. I rubbed his jaw, licking his smooth bottom lip gently. Edward ran his hands over my back before he pulled away from me, resting his forehead against mine.

" You're my life, you know that?" I whispered quietly to him.

" I do, and you're my life, my Bella."

Edward's hand found the remote and he switched the television off, along with the DVD player. He laid with me, holding me closely; threading his hands into my hair and kissing my neck. He paused for a moment, breathing deeply and unevenly.

I ran my fingers through his hair. " Hey, what's wrong?"

" I don't want us to loose anything else."

He looked up at me, looking deep into my eyes.

" We won't, Edward. I promise."

" How do you know?"

" Because...Besides our family and friends, we have nothing to lose."

" I'm such a girl."

" No, you're not. We've been through so much. I don't...I don't want you to worry that we're going to lose eachother, or something else. We will be okay, I promise you, Edward. Just wait for it."

He wrapped his arms tighter around me, kissing my jaw before gently biting. I laughed, his teeth almost tickling my skin.

" What'd you get me for my Birthday?" he asked.

" Nope, not telling you."

" You've not set out a clue, love."

" That's because I hid it so well. I've been working on it for awhile now."

" Hmm, homemade? I like it already. A collage of your beautiful face? No?.. I have no fucking clue...A new watch?

" No! I am much more creative this time around."

" You better not make my gift look like shit."

I smiled, " Of course not, love. What did you get me?"

" Nice try. Not telling a soul."

In a flash I was sitting in his lap, resting my hands on his bare chest. I leaned forward, the tips of my hair gently grazing his chest. He stared up at me, seeing the playful twinkle back in my eyes. His hands rested on my hips, steadying me on his lap.

" You don't want to tell me?" I whispered.

" Nope."

I narrowed my eyes. " Not even if I told you that I really love you?"

" Nah."

" Mmm, you think you're hot stuff don't you?"

" I'm a british god. Listen to my beautiful voice."

I slapped his chest gently. " Oh, please."

" You know it, why else would you have had a crush on me since you were like, what, thirteen? Because I was even sexy then. Just admit it."

" Never. I loved you because of you."

" Because I'm just so damn sexy. Come on, just admit it. Just do it."

I shook my head. " No!"

He pinched my side, " Always the stubborn one weren't we."

I yelped, shoving away from him. " Stop!"

Edward pressed me into the mattress, straddling my lap. His hands went for my sides, poking, grabbing and tickling. He basically had all his weight on me, so I couldn't do anything accept slap at him and scream.

" EDWARD! STOP!"

" Beg."

" NO!"

His hands dug into my ribs, and I screamed. Jackass knew that fucking tickled!

" Fine, fine. Please, Edward. Come on, stop, stop!"

" Now tell me I am sexy."

" Oh my god! No!"

" Tell me, Isabella."

" Okay, fine! You're sexy, you are so sexy Edward. STOP!"

Edward stopped and I pushed up, knocking him off me and dumping him right onto the floor. I covered my mouth with my hand, laughing as I peeked over the bed. He was glaring at me and I laid back on the bed. Slowly he stood up, grabbing the blankets off me and grabbing my ankles, dragging me towards him before grabbing onto me. I kissed his lips

" I'm sorry." I said, trying my hardest not to laugh.

" No you're not."

" What are you going to do with me?" I asked, wrapping my legs around his waist.

" Mmm, nothing. But you should still be scared. So, I am sexy, huh?"

" I only said it so you would stop."

" You're so mean."

September 13th

Saturday

" Haaapppyy Birthday deaarrr Bellaaaaaa. Haaapppyyy Birthday tooooo yoouuuuu."

" That was so off tune, shut up."

" Happy Birthday, beloved. You are no longer a teenager, how does it feel?"

" The same as yesterday."

He chuckled, " I love you, Happy Birthday." he whispered, laying next to me.

I wrapped my arm around his waist, snuggling into his side. " I love you, too. Happy Birthday."

" I got you a cake."

" I am making your cake."

" We suck at secrets."

I smiled, " Well, we are going to be here anyways. When you live here nothing is secret. Where are you taking me to dinner?"

" Where are _you _taking me to dinner?" He retorted.

" No, doesn't work like that. You take me out because I am the lady. And you are older."

" Twenty minutes isn't a big difference."

" Don't even go there! When we were kids that was always your excuse for everything!"

" Okay, okay. Can I open my gift?"

" Well, later on you can get your gift after dinner. But I do have another one for you. Come on."

Of course, later on when he was asleep I snuck downstairs to put his gift on the kitchen counter, and I noticed his also with it, there were actually two, and I knew that the one in the small box was some kind of jewelery, he always did that, and a small envelope with my name on it.

We walked downstairs, and Edward was almost bouncing with excitement. Yes, a twenty year old grown man excited about his Birthday to such an extent. He took my hand, walking me towards the island. I firstly handed him a small envelope.

" Now this is your choice, okay?"

He looked at me skeptically before opening it up. Once he opened up the envelope he took out the folded sketch paper and opened it up. A smile spread across his face and he set it down on the counter.

The sketch was of a tribal star, but with vines all around it, and I was planning on having it tattoo'd on as an arm band or something, hoping that Edward would be cool with this.

" I made appointments at a place, just so we could have it done today. But if you don't like it...I planned it to be like a wristband, or arm band mostly."

" Of course, Bella it's an absolutely beautiful sketch. I love everything you draw and paint."

He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, handing me his smaller gift. I took off the wrapping paper and saw the signiture Tiffany box. I looked up at him, groaning.

" Ed-"

" Shhh, open it."

I opened up the little box and nestled inside was a pair of the most beautiful heart drop earrings with paved diamonds in the heart. They didn't drop too low, but they were just beautiful.

" How did you afford these?"

" I can make payments, beloved."

" They are beautiful, Edward. Truly, beautiful. Thank you so much."

" Of course, now here."

I handed Edward his bigger gifts, and ones attached to it. It was almost tradition for me to buy him the newest gaming consoles. I knew that he loved his little toys and stuff, and that they made him happy. So this year was the grand PS3, they have been popular most recently. And I also had a small canvas painting that I had painted for him.

I couldn't express how many years Edward wanted me to paint something for him, and it was basically alot of abstract nature things that I did, and I twisted it up and did something for Edward, to which he opened and loved.

" Finally! Christ women I have been waiting for years!"

I smiled, opening up his envelope. There was a printed out sheet of an order.

" What is this?"

" Well. This is from my parents and me also. I am not that rich, but we ordered you a baby grand piano for the apartment!"

...

" Oh my god? What? Edward, seriously?"

" Yes. I mean, I know we won't be here forever. But...I know you love playing, and you miss it so much Bella I can tell."

" You didn't have to buy me one, Edward."

" I honestly did. So just thank me."

" Thank you, Edward. So much."

I launched myself into his arms, hugging him fiercely. He kissed my temple, rocking us back and forth. Once we pulled away I decided to make breakfast for us, ignoring his non-stop begging as to what his other gift was.

I made us cinnamon sugar pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. Once we finished eating we hopped into the shower and got ready for the day, our appointments at NY Ink was at one.

After a long leisurely shower we dressed, and I put on simple clothing. Skinny jeans and a Muse t-shirt, just as I pulled it over my head, after doing my hair and makeup, Edward came into the room.

" Wait! I almost forgot, take that off."

I looked at him warily, but tossed my shirt off anyways. He gave me a seductive look as I stood in my bra and jeans, and then tossed me a t-shirt. It was black and I opened it up. Stamped in blue letters said, ' This is what awesome looks like'. I laughed, throwing the shirt over my head. Slightly loose, but I liked it. He walked over to me, kissing my lips.

" Thank you, it's awesome." I said, laughing.

After putting on my converse, we headed downstairs and Edward grabbed his keys, I grabbed the sketch from the counter, grabbing my jacket on the way out. I hopped into the car, and Edward started it up.

I gave him directions and we ended up downtown infront of a very fancy looking tattoo shop. Edward quirked an eyebrow at me, and I

We hopped out of the car and went into the tattoo shop, it was very light and open, surprising for such a place. I was really excited, and I could tell Edward was to as he squeezed my hand and smiled at me. I walked up to the counter, seeing a dark haired girl with sleeves of tattoo's, and star designs going all up her neck.

" Hi, I have two appointments this afternoon. One with Katherine for Bella Swan and Dan for Edward Cullen, both at one."

" Of course. Give me a sec." she said, walking away from the desk and to a back room.

I leaned into Edward and saw the receptionist return, with two people in her wake. The women had bright blue hair that was twisted up into a messy bun, she had on a pair of skinny jeans and a loose tanktop with a pair of heels. The man next to her had on skinny jeans, a Guns 'N Roses t-shirt on and vans. They both were covered in tattoo's, arms, neck, hands and I could see small tattoo's on her foot.

" Hi, you must be Bella, and you are Edward." Katherine said, shaking our hands.

" Hello, I talked to you on the phone about two weeks ago, I already have the sketch and everything here for you as I said.

She nodded. " Right, right. Well, let me see. We can both draw up identical, if that's what you want."

" Yeah, that would be great. Any way I could maybe incorporate an initial, just a letter in the middle where the star is." Edward piped up.

I looked at him skeptically.

They both looked over the sketch. " Yeah, that could work. What would you want?"

" Just a 'B', right in the middle of the star."

Quickly I glanced up at Edward, wondering if he was just fooling around, but he looked completely serious.

" And an 'E' in the same spot for mine."

Katherine smiled, " You both married or something?"

" We've known eachother since birth, started dating a little over a year now."

She nodded, " Okay, we'll just sketch this up. You can just take a seat, make yourselves at home."

We nodded and sat down on a plush couch pushed in the corner. Edward wrapped his arm around me tightly, almost pushing me into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his hand rub back and forth on my thigh.

" So, what's with the sudden initial?" I asked

" I want you to be a part of me no matter what, I mean, we already have matching tattoo's on the back. You didn't have to do the same."

" I wanted to though. You mean alot to me, and I thought if you were doing it, why the hell not."

Edward chuckled and kissed the side of my neck.

Once the sketchs were both done, they showed us the same identical ones and it looked absolutely perfect, almost better than I ever thought they could possibly re-create. We sat down in a chair and I told them the placement. Once they did the placements and we confirmed it was good, they got started.

" So, I presume you are both not from United States?"

" No, we were raised and spent most of our childhood in London, England."

" Oh, that must have been interesting, when did you move to America?"

" When we were what? Fourteen? It was the summer before Freshmen year, we are sophmores in college."

Dan nodded, " That's cool. So, how did you get the idea for this sketch?"

" I dabble alot in painting and drawing, and one day I just kind of started drawing this tribal star, and I just started playing around with it."

" It's a really good sketch, not really seen anything like it."

I felt the needle hit my skin, the familar feeling not as uncomfortable as the first time. We talked freely with the tattoo artists, listening to their own stories about their tattoo's, it didn't take very long for ours to be done, and I was extemely excited when we were finished and stood to look at them. We didn't go with color like we did with our other one, this one just looked almost crisp and very classic almost.

Edward and I stood, looking at our tattoo's in the mirror. I'd gotten mine around my wrist, so the mirror wasn't totally necessary, and I got it on my left hand. Edward got his around his bicep on his left arm, and it looked really awesome.

" Wow." Edward said.

" That looks awesome." I said.

They wrapped our arms up and I paid for both of them, ignoring Edward when he tried to slid a few bills over the counter. This was my gift to him, and that's how it was going to be. When we got outside he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my lips gently.

" Ready for the rest of our Birthday?"

" Of course."

**Authors Note- Damn, it's like I leave some-what cliffy's on their Birthdays every time. It's like tradition!**

**Sorry for the long wait, but I love you all, thanks for your patience, I sincerely appreciate it.**


	51. Getting Better

**Authors Note- I know updates aren't as great as they used to be. I am trying to get on track, honestly.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

BPOV

" Where are we going?" Edward asked, almost bouncing in his seat.

" I'm already letting you do this earlier, please just shush." I said.

" But, Bella..."

" You're very impatient, love."

He sighed. " I am."

After about twenty minutes of driving in a thick, heavily wooded area. The big, white brick building came into view. I knew that Edward was probably very confused at this point, I probably would have been too. I parked the Volvo and took the key out the ignition, stepping out of the car carefully, making sure that I wouldn't fall on the gravel.

Edward came around the car and I grabbed his hand, encouraging him to walk with me. When we walked up the stairs to the huge building, I led him through the open door. It was quiet, just like I wanted and there wasn't a soul in sight.

" This is Manhattan Music Hall. They teach music lessons. And they aren't open today, but I pulled a few strings. Come on."

I led him up the long, wide stairs. There were roughly forty stairs to go up. Edward groaned, following me up. Once we reached the top, in the middle of a huge foyer there was a baby grand piano. The floors and stairs were made out of white and grey marble, and it was a very high class place.

I released his hand, walking over to the piano and standing next to it, running my fingers over the smooth ivory.

" I wrote you a song." I said, sitting down on the bench.

He walked towards me, and I grabbed his hands. They wrapped around mine and he sat down on the bench, reluctantly letting me go. I turned towards the keys and he sat next to me, his hand gently resting on my leg.

" I haven't been taking lessons, obviously, but I've been coming here working on a song for you."

I took a deep breath and rested my hands on the keys, and suddenly my fingers were flying all along the piano, creating the music that I'd come to remember so well, and had conjured up in my head, now ringing out in the open for him to hear.

My head was swimming in the notes, my fingers moving over the keys that I barely even recognized how they were moving, they were in a familiar trance. I always felt so calm at the piano, at ease. I distantly felt Edward rest his chin on my shoulder, my fingers still playing the beautiful melody.

When it stopped, I rested my hands on my knees and turned my head, Edward was smiling at me, I took that as a good sign that he liked it.

" That was beautiful, Bella." he whispered, kissing my neck.

" Did you like it? Be honest."

" It was absolutely amazing, beloved. You did a great job, I loved it."

I turned to the side and rested my hands on either side of his face, kissing him with enthusiasm. He curled his arm around my waist, and I felt his free arm reach up to rest his hand on the back of my neck. I reached one hand up to run through his hair, and he moaned into my mouth before pulling away, chastely kissing me.

" I love you, thank you."

" I love you, too."

We stood up from the bench and Edward headed towards the stairs, I leapt onto his back, clinging like a little spider monkey and making him carry me down. He laughed at me, hanging on tightly. What a disaster it would be if he slipped with me on his back on marble steps. That would not be good, at all, and mostly likely end with broken spines.

When we got back outside, it was mildly raining and we both made a run for it, not wanting to get wet at all. I hopped into the passenger seat, tossing Edward the keys to which he started up the car.

Edward and I headed back to the apartment, and I got started on his cake, red velvet with cream cheese frosting. I walked around the kitchen, grabbing each of the ingredients for the cake. It was a recipe I had in my head, perfectly remembered for years since I was about ten years old.

After mixing up the batter I poured it into a rectangle shaped baking pan, and it came up about two inches, so it would be nice and tall. I popped it in the oven and got started on the frosting, that's when Edward got interested.

I put in the cream cheese, sugar and all of the other ingredients to make the sweet frosting, I mixed all of the ingredients. It really came together nice, I was satisfied. Once it was finished, I spooned up a little bit and walked towards Edward. His eyes were on the spoon and I stood infront of him.

" Want to try it?"

" Mm, please?"

I turned it towards his mouth and just as he opened his mouth, moving it towards his waiting mouth. Tricking him, I put the spoon in my mouth. Edward tickled my sides, not stopping until I screamed at him to and got away.

" That was mean."

I laughed and spooned up more, giving him the spoon to eat. He quickly ate it in two seconds, and tossed the spoon into the sink that was filled with hot soapy water.

" Don't be a baby."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, rocking us side to side. His lips pressed against my neck, working up to behind my ear and pulling away. I pulled away from him, sighing and putting the cream cheese frosting in the fridge.

" What did you want to do?" he asked, leaning against the counter with a smile.

" Whatever you want."

" Don't be all difficult with me."

" I'm no-"

" Let's go to the mall. Here." he tossed me a pullover sweatshirt, grabbing my hand before I could even get it over my head.

Edward looked through all of the boxes, looking for the right size until a grin came over his face and he grabbed it. I shot him an annoyed look, which earned me a bright smile.

He wanted to go shopping, so I dragged him into one of my favorite stores Charlotte Russe. This is where I buy most of my nice, girlier clothing. I tried on a few pairs of shoes, but Edward was a damn goner when he saw me put on a pair of lacey bowtie peep-toe pumps.

" Edward, where in the hell am I going to wear them to?" I asked, lacing my converse back up.

" No fucking clue, but these shoes are fucking sexy, and you are going to find a place to wear them to."

He grabbed the pile of clothes, clothes I was going to buy myself.

" Hey!"

" It's your Birthday, so please let me spoil you." he said, pointing to an all over lace black top.

" Find that in your size, and meet me at the check out." he instructed.

The top was cute, and apparently Edward liked it. He probably thought I would wear nothing under it, in his dreams. I grabbed my size and walked over to him, putting it on the top of the pile, and biting my lip when he slid his debit card.

The cashier smiled. " Boyfriend treats you well I see?" she asked, bagging everything.

Blush spread over my cheeks, " Yeah."

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist, grabbing the bag and receipt from the cashier and walking out of the store. I leaned into him, leaning up to kiss the side of his neck and whispering my thanks.

" Want to thank me? Let's go into Victoria's Secret, beautiful."

I laughed heartily, " You're really funny."

He smiled, swinging our hands. " Remember that time at the mall back in Junior year, when you said that high school relationships were silly, they never lasted?"

I thought for a moment, " Oh, yeah. Right. What about it?"

" You were so fucking right. I mean, Tanya is still like completely high school. I know I told you that but...It's so fucking true. I wish I would have been smart enough to believe it."

" Well, that is over now. And we have each other."

" We'll never lose each other." he stated.

" You bet." I said.

Edward stopped infront of a store, two stairs leading up.

Gilly Hicks. Also known as the never ending store of darkness and confusion. But they did have the best bra's, I could give it that. Edward grabbed my hand, and he pulled me into the place next to it, Victoria's Secret.

" So, what is Victoria's Secret?"

" The fact that they don't wash anything that gets returned."

" Funny, Bella." Edward stated, his eyes locking on a dark blue lacey bra.

" I am serious."

" Well, we can wash it ourselves when we get back to the apartment. Damn, this is sexy." Edward stated, tossing the lace bra at me.

The size was a 32D. I rolled my eyes, " Just my size."

He stared at me. " Seriously?"

I looked down at my chest, then back at him. " I don't know, you tell me."

" No...You're what? Full B? I've seen a few 32C's too."

" What?"

" I do laundry, therefore I have seen your bra's. I think we should spice you up though. I am a sucker for leopard print." he said, grabbing a bold leopard bra with black lace trim with matching hip-huggers.

I think he was having a bit too much fun.

" Sexy." I laughed.

" How about this is my gift for my Birthday."

" A little weird, what size bra do you want?" I said.

" I'm not talking me, I am talking you my beautiful, sexy girlfriend."

" I've given up sex for the rest of my life."

" Ooooh, no you have not."

" Only ends up in disaster."

Edward set the bra and hip huggers down, wrapping his arms around my waist, I could feel the Charlotte Russe bag against the back of my knees. He kissed my forehead.

" Bella, it doesn't ever have to happen again. We know what the hell we are doing now, before that we never thought of what could happen without being twice as careful."

" You are just trying to get some."

" No, Bella. I'm just telling you this because you need to know. Just because we started having sex again and we went through the bad aftermath, doesn't mean that it will happen if we start again. If anything, we are more damn smart this time around."

" I know. Look, Edward...I-I like that part of our relationship. A lot. But, right now...I know we did once, but I don't feel like it's right for now."

" Mmm, okay. I understand."

" I mean, we can...I'm not saying we can't do anything. It's just...sex...I'm not ready."

Edward held me to him. " Let's go."

I smiled, " No, not yet."

I grabbed the leopard print bra and matching hip huggers in my size, walking up to the counter and tossing them down onto it. She scanned it and I saw her look at me, a weird glint in her eyes. She bagged it and I walked back over to Edward, who was smirking at me.

" Now come on leopard boy. I want to buy you something."

Before we even had to leave for our dinner reservations, I had forced Edward to let me buy him something. I wasn't the richest person in the world, but he bought me a bag of clothes, I wanted to return the favor. I got him a new pair of Nike's that he wanted, a few t-shirts and two new pairs of jeans that he needed.

Our parents called while we were out, I heard a Happy Birthday from Esme, Carlisle and my dad, and nothing from my mother. They said gifts were in the mail for us, and to expect them soon.

We got back home quickly and Edward wanted me to change into something more...fancy.

I put on a patterned dress, and ironically it was almost leopard print, but it was a soft print, nothing too loud. I put on a matching cardigan over it to keep my shoulders warm. The dress was strapless and mid-thigh length.

I slipped on the new lacey pumps shoes and fixed my hair up all nice, also re-applied some makeup and brushed my teeth once more. Edward put on a nicer shirt and fixed his hair, also brushing his teeth. He didn't mumble a word of where we were going, and I was eager to know where.

At exactly five fifteen he whisked me out of the house. When I got outside, I noticed that he had the motorcycle parked on the curb. I looked at him.

" I'm wearing a dress."

" Do it for me, come on." he said, brushing my hair back.

I smiled, " Okay."

Edward hopped on the motorcycle and put his helmet on, strapping it on. I got on behind him, putting my feet carefully on the pegs and strapping on my helmet. My dress was okay on it, no stretching or anything.

He started up the engine and revved it before taking off. I wrapped my arms around his waist, hanging onto him tightly. We rode and rode, we got onto the highway and got out at the exit to Staten Island. I wondered what the hell was here.

Finally we rode through the city and Edward parked in a parking lot to a very nice looking resturaunt called; Zeffirino. I took the helmet off and shook my hair out, handing the helmet to Edward and getting off of the bike, adjusting my dress.

He grasped my hand in his and we headed into the place.

It was absolutely stunning in here, and it was obviously a very Italian based resturaunt. There were high ceilings, tables with almost silk looking clothes with roses and candles. Dark wooded floors, tables and chairs. It had on low Italian music and I turned back and looked at Edward.

" Hello, reservation for Cullen at six."

The women entered something into her computer and grabbed two menus from a shelf. She led us to a secluded table next to a small window, seating us and handing the menu before telling us our waitress would be here in a moment.

" Christ! Thirty two dollars for Risotto?" I said, glaring at him.

" It's your Birthday, beloved. The one day out of the year that I have to spoil you, let me."

" Yeah, it's yours also, you shouldn't have to pay this."

We weren't rich, I very well knew that, and this was expensive.

" You're ruining the evening, now please stop talking about money." he said shortly.

I sighed, " I'm going to the bathroom."

" Bella, damn it... I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want you to worry about it, okay."

Standing up I brushed past him towards the washroom. When I found it I saw nobody in there. I sighed, staring at myself in the mirror.

This is supposed to be a good day.

I rubbed my hands over my face and went into the stall, using the washroom quickly and washing my hands afterwards. The hand soap was a lavender scented and was really strong. I washed my hands thoroughly and dried my hands under the hand dryer. When they were nice and dry I stepped out of the washroom and back to the table.

Edward put his menu down, looking over the table at me.

" Let's just drop it, I don't want to talk about it."

" Be-"

" Hello! I'm Cara and I will be your waitress for this evening. What drinks can I start you off with?"

" I'd like a Raspberry Iced Tea."

" Just water, please." Edward requested.

She jotted it down and said she'd be back with our drinks. I looked at the Menu, and basically everything was in Italian, besides the descriptions of the food, which I was glad for. I tried to pronounce it outloud, and Edward laughed at me, correcting.

" Well Mr. I-Took-Italian-For-Four-Years; yay for you. You can pronounce this."

" I'll order for you, baby."

I decided on the Taglierini alla Sorrentina, which was a homemade pasta sauteed with tomato, basil and topped with diced buffalo mozzarella ontop. It sounded really good, so I figured I would give it a go.

When the happy blonde returned, she put our drinks down and asked what we wanted for our meal. I stared at my menu, and Edward smiled at me, looking at her.

" We'd like the Carnaroli Risotto and the Taglierini alla Sorrentina." Edward said.

" Would that be all?"

I handed her the menu's, " Yes, thank you."

She smiled and walked off with her little pad of paper. I laughed quietly.

" Carnaroli Risotto?" I asked, it sounded weird rolling off my tongue.

" Risotto with crabmeat, shrimp, garlic and parsley with a tomato and white wine sauce of some sort."

I nodded and took a sip of my tea.

" So, excited for Christmas in London?"

" Very much. I am so glad we were able to get a week off to be with the family. I really miss them."

" What about your mom?" Edward asked.

I shrugged. " I don't know what to do, Edward. I mean it hurts...going through this. I've tried to call her, but she is either working or just not answering. My dad says that she just isn't able to handle it right now. Which, you know, pisses me off. I was the one who...lost my child, went through the aftermath while she ran back to Chicago. Yes, I completely understand why my father left, but he called me every single day, and Carlisle checked in when he wasn't working...I just don't get it."

Edward rested his hand over the table, motioning for me to hold his hand. I reached my hand over to lay over his.

" You look beautiful on the bright side."

" Thank you."

" Well, we will all see each other on Christmas. And unless she decides not to show up like a coward, then we don't have an issue."

I nodded and Edward squeezed my hand.

" So, what are you getting me for Christmas?" Edward asked.

I smiled, " A big bag of coal."

" Mm, how about a brand new year, a great year."

I wanted that also. This year had been full of roller coasters, ones that I never wanted to take a ride on again. Ever again. He picked up our entwined hands and kissed my palm. I smiled at him, leaning back in my seat and letting our hands rest back on the table.

We talked quietly between us until our food arrived. It smelt absolutely amazing, and I couldn't wait to get my fork into it. When we left I immediately picked up my fork, and Edward laughed.

" Hungry?"

" Like you wouldn't imagine."

The moment I tasted the pasta, I could tell it was fresh and homemade, it had that taste of freshness. The entire dish was delicious, and I enjoyed the buffalo mozzarella that was ontop of it, it gave it a great taste.

Edward seemed to be equally enjoying his food, and it also looked really good.

" Taste?" he asked.

I leaned forward and he put a forkful into my mouth. I covered my mouth with my hand, making sure nothing fell out. He reached over the table, twirling some of my pasta on his fork and putting it into his mouth. In the process, his elbow knocked the candle and it tipped onto my plate. I picked it up, laughing quietly at him as he glared.

We finished up our dinner and the waitress came back to collect our food. Edward and I had some hot tea before leaving. He paid the bill and I thanked him for it, he of course said that I could thank him properly later.

Edward and I headed home and we set up each other's cakes. He'd made me a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting with blue icing around it decorated, how he did it, I have no idea. I put candles in his cake, adding one for good luck and then set it on the table.

We lit our cakes and sat down next to close.

" So, how are we doing this?"

" You sing to me, I sing to you."

" That's not awkward at all." I shot at him.

" This is our first Birthday alone!" Edward argued

" Well, whatever. We can do it. Let's just do it together and switch names."

" Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear-"

" Edward." I said, just as he said; " Bella."

"- Happy Birthday to you." we finished

" Make it a good one!"

I closed my eyes, made a wish and leaned forward to blow out all of my candles. Once we finished blowing out the candles we cut cake, having small pieces of each. When we got upstairs, I was glad to take off the dress and heels.

" Did you have a good day?" he asked as I slipped my dress off, grabbing for my pajama pants.

" Yeah, I really did. You?"

" Of course, I was with you wasn't I?"

I noticed the small scar on my lower abdomen, mostly covered by my underwear. I rubbed the spot and slipped on my pants. Edward, sitting at the edge of my bed, grabbed for me around the waist, his head level with my stomach.

" Edward..."

" You're beautiful, and this." Edward stated, pulling the front of my pants down slightly to expose the scar, " Is nothing to be ashamed or sad of, okay? Of course, nobody looks at that knowing the story behind it smiling and laughing, but don't be ashamed." he said quietly, bending down to kiss the scar.

" I know, just makes me wonder, you know. In December I would have been having him...We would have really been parents. I just really wonder what it would be like if he could have hung on through all of it."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my stomach.

" I do, too. All the time, but look at me." Edward said, staring up at me.

" What?"

" Next time, Bella. We'll be prepared, and it will be great." he assured me.

I ran my fingers through his hair and he laid back on the bed, bringing me with him. I let out a laugh/scream of surprise, catching myself on the bed so my torso wouldn't crush his face. Edward kissed between my rib cage.

" Everything will fall into place perfectly, and I'll keep that promise."

I leaned down and softly pressed my lips to his, hoping to god that he was going to end up being right.

**Authors Note- **

**This is the song that Bella played for Edward.**

**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=w1xEQSPNPZc&feature=related**

**I will also put it in my profile. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, more filler. But Christmas in London is coming, and a confrontation with Renee will be here!**

**Review please.**


	52. The Return to London

**Authors Note- Here is the next installment, hope you enjoy it and leave me your thoughts.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

~\\~

EPOV

~\\~

I grabbed onto Bella's hands, trying to stop her shaking as we walked through the terminal. I knew she was nervous, and I wanted her to calm down. Especially being on a plane adding to it. She said earlier that she felt nauseous, and I didn't want anything to happen on a seven hour flight.

Thanksgiving has flown past us in a flurry of sweet potatoes, and a small ten pound turkey that I ruined in the oven. It was a very fun day to say in the least, eating burnt bird was funny despite what one may think. It was what was ruined that made it funny; we were less than perfect, proud to be it.

Now we had ten days off work, and in those days we were going to be spending Christmas with our grandparents in London, then flying to Chicago for help with the wedding a little bit before returning to New York.

We were spending a total of ten days away from New York. Today is the twenty third, and until the twenty seventh we are staying here, and then we have a flight that day at twelve forty to Chicago, spending the rest of our time there and flying out early morning on the third so we will be back at work on the fourth.

I hoped the plans would work out alright and go off without a hitch. When we were seated in the two first class seats, which my parents insisted they pay for despite my wishes

Our flight is nine on the dot, and we would arrive at the airport in London at 10:30 approximately, at their time, being six hours ahead of us. Bella was all jittery and grabbed her hand, leaning towards her.

" Everything is going to be perfect, I don't want you to worry. I will be by your side when we talk to your mother. Plus, they won't be here until tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

She nodded, " Okay, I love you. Thank you."

I pushed up the arm rest and took her in my arms, reclining my seat back so she could lie down on my chest. She sighed and closed her eyes. Bella had slept about five hours of the trip, eventually she curled into her own reclined seat, with a pillow from the flight attendant and a blanket that was folded in the suitcase that was in the storage above.

We spent a lot of time talking until the plane was going to land, I enjoyed her conversation, but I really wanted to keep her occupied to make all of those nerves she was dealing with calm down a bit. Grandpa Allen was picking us up as usual, he was always the one to come and get us. When the plane landed at ten thirty four, we grabbed our carry on suitcase, Bella got her purse and we headed into the airport. We had to go through security again, and then go to baggage claim and then we headed outside.

When I saw my grandfather, or technically Bella's, I smiled, and Bella did also, basically running towards him, he whispered something in her ear and she smiled sadly and nodded. All of our grandparents were amazing friends, and it was like Bella and I had six grandparents, we loved them with all of our hearts. He embraced us both, greeting us happily.

We loaded up the car and headed over to their house. He let us into the house, being extra quiet because Grandma Claire was sleeping, and it was pretty late so we didn't want to disturb her.

" Do you guys want tea or anything?"

It actually sounded nice, but I insisted he go upstairs to get some sleep. It was late and he had to get up early to pick up our parents from the airport. Bella and I put our things upstairs in our usual shared bedroom and we warmed up some tea in the kitchen.

" This time is so much different from last." she whispered.

" Yours or mine?"

" Both. Mine was...awful. And the one before that we were just all over the place."

" That kiss was amazing." I told her, leaning over to kiss her.

She smiled against my lips and pulled away.

Once we finished our tea we quiet went upstairs. Bella shut the door behind her softly, locking it with a flick of the wrist. She took her pants off and tossed them at my staring face. I caught the jeans before they hit me and she opened her back, putting on a pair of fleece pants, which were Christmas themed with snowmen on them and snowflakes. She tossed her shirt off and put on a fitted v-neck royal blue shirt. It was kind of tight, which is what I liked.

I pulled my shirt off, along with my pants and as I did. I could see Bella with her back to me, taking her bra off under the shirt. I never got how they did that, must be a women secret or something.

Fucking. Leopard.

I grabbed onto her and she squealed.

" You're one evil little monster."

She laughed and I wrestled her to the bed. It squeaked with our weight.

" I have to brush my teeth." she whined, stopping her struggle.

I got off of her and ran to the bathroom. Bella shoved at me and we finally settled in the bathroom after getting our toothbrushes out of our bag. Once we brushed Bella and I put our things away so we wouldn't have to do it in the morning.

Despite not being up for long, technically going to bed early for us, we settled well into the time change. Once we were done, Bella and I got into the bed, curling up together. She wrapped her arms around my waist, leaning her head against my neck, her lips gently pressing against my jugular vein.

" I love you." she whispered.

" You, too, beloved."

She trailed her kisses up my neck until reaching my lips. Bella kissed me firmly, and I pressed mine equally as firm to hers. I ran my hand up her back and sighed, pulling away and resting my forehead against hers.

~\\~

BPOV

~\\~

When I awoke the next morning I put on a sweatshirt, some clean socks, and headed downstairs for something to drink and eat. My stomach had been insistently growing and I didn't want to wake him from his sleep. Grandma Claire was sitting at the table when I got downstairs, and she smiled when she saw me. I got a cup of coffee for myself and sat down by her.

" How are you, sweetheart?"

" Good. How about you, I've missed you." I said, leaning over to hug her.

She sighed, " I've been worried about you, darling,"

Even though I don't talk to them too often, they did know about the pregnancy and the miscarriage. They had been informed from my father about the miscarriage, and I knew that he also talked to them during the pregnancy along with Carlisle and Esme.

They weren't pleased, I don't think anybody was, but they felt awful when I miscarried. Our whole family was all no sex before marriage, which was something they honestly believed in. But they knew that Edward and I were different, obviously.

" I'm okay. I mean...It was really hard in the beginning but Edward has...He's been absolutely wonderful, being here every step of the way, even if I lashed out." I said.

She rubbed my knee. " I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and, Edward. Both of you have gone through so much in your short lives."

" Tell me about it." I mumbled just as Grandpa Allen walked in, fully dressed in his day clothes and freshly showered. He'd probably been up for awhile; he was always the early riser.

" Sleep well?" he asked, rubbing my shoulder gently.

" I did, thank you."

" I could hear that boy talking in his sleep down the hall last night, that an often occurrence?"

" Usually he doesn't, maybe he had some weird dream or something." I said, wondering why he would have been talking.

He raised a bushy grey-ish brown eyebrow. " He seemed to be saying 'Bella', kind of loudly."

Grandma Claire gasped and looked at me, her brown eyes wide.

" What?" I exclaimed, entirely confused.

Then I thought about it. Them, hearing Edward saying my name loudly in the middle of the night. Why would they presume that I would do that, here of all places? I glared at both of them.

" Both of you are utterly cr-"

" Good morning, everyone. Sleep well?" Edward interrupted

They quieted and he cleared his throat, " Alright then."

He sat next to me and quickly kissed me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and he reached over and took a drink of my coffee.

" What did you dream about last night?" I asked him.

He paused, " Um, nothing...Why?"

" You apparently said my name frequently in your sleep."

Edward sighed, " Well, I apologize."

" I didn't hear it." I laughed.

His cheeks tinted pink just the slightest, and I let out a small laugh. Grandma Claire made us bacon and hash browns for breakfast, and then we headed upstairs to shower. Grandpa Allen headed to the airport to get our parents, and I was getting more nervous as moments passed.

Since Grandma Claire went to the grocery store to grab a few last minute things for tonight and tomorrow's meal, Edward and I just hopped in the shower together. We washed up and Edward got out first and I shaved my legs nice and smooth. Once I finished I wrapped a towel around me and Edward was shaving his face of all the stubble that had appeared over the past few days.

I put on a pair of black fitted skinny jeans and a deep purple v-neck sweater, with a grey tank top underneath. I put on my lacey pumps that Edward loved so much. He finished dressing in the bedroom and I fixed up my hair, blow drying it and then curling it in big thick curls.

After a little bit of eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and a little bit of powder, I spritzed on a bit of perfume and stepped out of the bathroom. Edward was lacing his shoes up and when he looked at me, he groaned.

" Hello, beautiful."

I walked over to him and he sat me in his lap, kissing my lips softly. I leaned against his chest and he braided our fingers together, resting them on my stomach. We sat for awhile until we headed back downstairs and went into the living room, putting on some Doctor Who to entertain us.

" So, what did I tell you. You found many places to wear those shoes."

I smiled, " Okay, this time you win."

" What's my prize?"

" Me."

He laughed, " Sounds good."

When I heard the front door open, my heart started to race. I heard Esme's loud excited voice, and my father talking with my grandfather, and then my grandma Claire basically showering Carlisle with kisses. She adored Carlisle almost as much as her own son.

I could hear all the other grandparents here as well.

Edward kept me in his lap and I heard people shuffle upstairs, besides Esme who came directly to us to give out hugs.

" Oh, my darlings. How are you, my baby? How about you, Bella?" she asked, kissing Edward's forehead and mine.

" We're doing alright, mom." Edward answered for us.

She looked at me and I nodded, giving her a small smile. Esme plopped right on the other side of Edward, wrapping her arms around her son and holding him to her. He rolled his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder.

" Mom..."

" Shush, I miss you. You're my only baby."

" I know..."

" Bells?" I heard my dad say.

I looked up quickly and saw my dad. I hadn't actually seen him since the miscarriage and the hospital. I had been in a lot of pain then, and I mostly was cuddled up by Edward not wanting to let him go. Quickly I stood and wrapped my arms around him; he ran his hands over my back, gently rubbing in circles.

" How are you doing, kid?"

" I'm doing okay. How are you?" I mumbled against his arm.

" Fine, fine. How's school."

" Alright, I really missed you, dad."

" Missed you, too, Bells."

He pulled away and shook Edward's hand, nodding at him. I sat back down on the couch, curling into Edward's warm embrace, feeling Esme next to him, cuddling in. Edward kissed my temple, and Esme patted his shoulder, standing.

" Where's...Mom?" I asked slowly.

" Right here." I heard her say herself.

She came into the room, looking very hesitant, almost scared."

" Hello, Isabella."

I sighed. " Hi."

I didn't know what to think. I don't know if I should be mad by the fact that she put me under stress. That she just left while I was in the hospital, never calling or trying to talk to me, just ignoring me as if I'd never existed.

" All you have to say?"

" Is that all YOU have to say."

I felt Edward grip my hand.

" Like?"

" Like why you left me while I was in the hospital after having surgery to deliver my dead son." I said, my voice breaking at the end.

Everyone was quiet for a long moment.

" Renee Elizabeth Swan, how could you do that to your daughter!" Granny Liz outraged.

" How about we head upstairs and settle in and let them talk."

All of our grandparents headed upstairs and Carlisle sat next to me, taking my hand to try and comfort me. My father sat next to my mother on the opposite couch that was on the other side of the coffee table.

" I don't know what to say." she mother uttered.

" Do you know how it was those weeks after losing our baby? Do you have any idea what it felt like to have to put pieces of our life back together." Edward seethed.

" Dad...He called me every single day to talk to me, even if I didn't even barely talk. He still called."

" I didn't know what to say!"

" Do you not know what to say? Or is it that you are so embarrassed and ashamed to have put so much pressure on your daughter, that you feel guilty that all of the stress made her miscarry? I don't think for a minute you wanted her to lose the baby, but you knew what you were doing to her."

" You're both so young. Losing that baby couldn't have been awfully too hard."

My breathing hitched. " NOT AWFULLY TOO HARD." I screamed, feeling my anger welling over.

As I went to stand up both Carlisle and Edward held me back down on the couch.

" I spent weeks thinking that it was my fucking fault! That I killed him because I wasn't strong enough to handle all of your bullshit! And it was YOU. YOU pushed me over the edge and made it happen! YOU KILLED HIM; YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME!"

Suddenly Edward grabbed onto me, quickly ushering me out of the room. He sat me in one of the dining room chairs and I cried into my hands, feeling my heart breaking into pieces again. Edward wretched my hands away from my face and kneeled in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly and holding me close to him

~\\~

EPOV

~\\~

I was torn between ripping Renee's head off, and leaving with Bella.

Her heart-wrenching sobs were tearing me inside out. I gripped her tightly. I saw Esme come into the room, walking over to us and resting her hands on Bella's back, trying to soothe her and help me out.

" Bella, Bella, shhh. It's okay, come on, take a deep breath, calm down." I whispered repeatedly in her ear.

Slowly her sobs turned into just crying, and into sniffling, that then in turn was just quietness. Esme grabbed a hair tie that was on Bella's wrist and pulled her hair out of her face. Bella clung tighter to me, shaking slightly in my arms.

I leaned back with her in my arms, leaning against the wall and keeping her in my arms. I didn't know what to do now, try to rectify this awful mess, have them both sit down and calmly talk about it. I wonder how Renee felt hearing Bella say all of that, if anything registered in her head.

" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for screaming." Bella whimpered.

" Don't apologize, you needed to get it out." I responded, rubbing her back and kissing her temple.

" Edward, I don't...Can I just go upstairs. I can't look at her again right now. I don't want to talk to her." Bella said.

" Yes, of course, my love. How about you go upstairs, I'll be right there."

She nodded and we stood, while she headed upstairs, I went into the living room. Everyone was really frozen, just not knowing what to say. I looked at Renee.

" Bella has been holding in all she has wanted to say. You apparently don't know what to say, not even an apology about how much stress you put her under? Well, unless you have something plausible to say just...let it be." I said, turning on my heal to head back upstairs.

When I got upstairs, Bella was sitting at the end of the bed, her eyes red rimmed and bloodshot.

" I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of feeling this way. That everything is just not enough for her as I get older. I mean, no parent wants their child to be a young mother, but I never meant for it to happen. And I never wanted the outcome, I didn't want THIS." she paused for a moment, continuing, " All I've ever wanted was to make my parents proud, and I wanted to go to New York to show them I could stand on my own feet, that they could trust me to be in a different state with my boyfriend and know everything was going as planned."

" Fuck planning, Bella!" I basically yelled, " I don't care how _they _want it. It doesn't matter to me, what a matter to me is that your mother's actions are hurting you. I don't care that they don't like what happened, because...Sex before marriage is their thing, not ours. I wouldn't give up that part of our relationship for the world because I want to show you how much I love you, and want you. And I don't regret you getting pregnant; I regret that we weren't able to stop the outcome."

She sat on the bed, watching me carefully as if I were a ticking bomb.

" I know..." she whispered.

" And you all can stop hiding behind that damn door and listening in." I added, knowing they were there.

The bedroom door opened and they kind of just stood there, looking at us in surprise. Bella stood up, sighing and looking at the people listening in. Everyone, including Renee, was standing there.

" So you hear that? We started to have fucking sex, and it ended with this, and you know what? I am not ashamed to say that we are together like that. So...whatever."

" Edward!"

" What? Oh my god, you already know what it takes to create a baby, and obviously we did the deed to make it happen. I'm honestly not ashamed. And I don't expect any of you to accept it, but we live in the twenty first century."

" It doesn't matter what era it is, you nutter! Before marriage, neither of you should do anything further then a snog, anything more shouldn't be condoned."

" Mom, they love each other. It's not awful." Esme gently told her mother.

" You're their parents, you should have been watching them closely."

" Yes, mom, very easy with them in different states and hundreds of miles away." she retorted.

" You know what, it doesn't make a difference anymore." Bella stated. " What has already happened has happened. We can't reverse it, and that's the end of it. We aren't proud of what occurred, but that doesn't mean we regret it. Edward is right. We are adults; we can make our own decisions now. We live away from home, we pay our own bills and we support each other. We take care of each other and it's not going to change. All of you made a choice when you were our age, maybe younger. And that was your choice to wait, and it was a choice that all of you here have made. We are our own people, and we make our own choices, and we made an adult choice to do what we have done. We don't want to hurt anybody by it, but its how it is, and we won't apologize. We love each other."

I sat next to Bella and wrapped my arm around her waist, she leaned into me and I saw Renee step into the room.

" I think I need to have a talk with my daughter." Renee said, looking at me, " Alone."

Bella looked over at me, and I gripped her waist tighter.

" Alright. How about you guys go downstairs?"

" Bella, alone."

" Mom, I think us three need to talk about this. It wasn't just me going through all of this."

Everyone else left, shutting the door behind them. I looked over at Bella, kissing her forehead softly and letting her go. She stared up at me, confused.

" Talk to your mother. I'll be downstairs."

" But, Ed-"

" It's fine." I said quietly, kissing her forehead once again, letting it linger on her skin.

She nodded and took a deep breath, I walked away from her and opened the door, closing it behind me and heading downstairs, waiting for the conversation to be over so that I could talk to Bella about what Renee had said about everything.

'Sorry' wasn't going to cut it, and I trusted in Bella to get real answers out of everything. She's always been a smart girl. I went into the living room, where I'd been moments ago, and sat on the couch, leaning back and letting out a deep breath.

" It'll be okay, sweetheart." Mom said, wrapping her arm around me.

" Yeah, I hope so."

**Authors Note- Alright, next chapter we are getting down to the nitty and gritty. **

**The story is coming to a close soon, as much as I can't stand having to do that. The story means so much to me, but eventually they have to come to an end.**

**For people who know me, I do not end it on a weird number. So it's probably going to end at 60 if I can drag it out, either that or I will wrap it up around chapter 55, which is probably more plausible. The chapters will probably become more...hearty? Yeah, hearty, that works.**

**Anyways, I am so thankful for all of your reviews, I appreciate every single one of them.**

**Review!**


	53. Christmas and Wedding Planning

**Authors Note- Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it. I hope all of you are having an absolutely wonderful holiday. **

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all thing Twilight.**

BPOV

I was nervous.

Any normal person, in my opinion, would be nervous. This wasn't something I wanted to face, but I had to. I did want answers, I honestly did, but at the same time I was dreading the oncoming conversation.

I was sitting at the end of the bed, and she was looking at me, taking deep breaths but not looking all too angry. I was surprised that she was shockingly calm about this right now, especially after my outburst downstairs, that lead me to have to be physically removed from the situation. I was surprised that I let myself get so out of control, usually I always have my emotions balanced out, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I felt awful for just blaming everything on her, but it was still wrong to do that. I knew it.

I wished that Edward was here, but I knew that talking one on one with my mother would probably be best when addressing the situation first hand. I wasn't the only one affected by the situation, this hurt Edward, too. When he wanted to speak his peace about what happened, that would be on his time, and when he felt he needed to have it said, but for right now it just needed to be my mother and I. Both of us getting out what we'd kept in this entire span of not talking.

There was things that she probably had to say, and I had a lot to say too. There are things that I wanted to get out of my system, things that she needed to know that she maybe even wasn't aware of, but I wasn't going to bury things down anymore.

I'd had enough of that, and if we were going to talk I was going to get it out right now so it wouldn't have to be hashed out again some other time.

For a long moment she was quiet, but soon she sat down in a chair near the dresser and started out.

" First off, Isabella. You don't know how much I regret leaving you at the hospital. At the time, I hadn't realized how harsh I was being towards you, and I never took in consideration how you could have been feeling about it."

" You're my mother, how could I not care about what you say?"

" I never wanted you and Edward to go through what you did. I actually never wanted you both to engage in the act that would cause you to be in that kind of situation. I know that you both have your own opinions, I won't get into that right now, it's your choice. And after the first time, I really had no control afterwards. You both went off to New York, there wasn't much to do after that."

" But, Isabella. We trusted you to be careful, trusted that you both would be fine away from home, and you would be responsible. Your father and I wanted you both to stay in Chicago, or at least one of you. We couldn't have kept an eye on you there, and which is the reason why I asked you where you were at night. You are still my daughter, Isabella. I raised you. Don't think that just because you put a roof over your head, that doesn't mean you aren't our little girl anymore. It's ever since you graduated you don't need us anymore. When you call, it's like you dont really want to talk, or your annoyed with us."

I realized at that moment that I'd been wrong to do that also.

I did get annoyed when my mom called, asking me questions.

She wasn't an awful mother.

" Isabella, I was upset that you were pregnant because I tried my hardest to make sure you were being careful. I asked you questions to try and make you realize that you do have to be extra careful, and when I found out, I was angry. I was angry because even though I told you time and time again, it still happened. It made me feel like you ignored me because I was just an object far away. Sweetheart, I know you love your father and I, but we...I wasn't the only one who went wrong."

I covered my face with my hands and let out all the tears that wanted to spill over.

" I am not trying to make you cry, I don't want you upset."

" Yo-You're ri-right. I sh-should have car-cared m-more."

" Look at me, sweetheart."

I looked up at her, wiping my tears.

" I love you, you're my daughter and I always will love you. I never wanted you to lose your baby, never would I wish that upon you. Now, I am not turning this on you, but when I try to talk to you about something important; I need you to listen. I only want what is best for you, that's all."

Before saying anything else I stood up and met my mom in a hug, holding tightly onto her and squeezing her tight.

" I really needed you."

" I know, and I'm so sorry." she whispered, smoothing my hair back.

When she released me, I sat back down ont the bed and she was next to me.

" When I got back to Chicago after I left that summer, I didn't expect for Edward and I to do anything. He hadn't made a decision; he made it when I got there. We...It was just like months of not seeing each other and mixed with the sudden want. Mom, we hadn't done anything for months afterwards. We both knew that it was a step too far and we wanted to take it back to just explore a relationship. I was okay with that."

She nodded, squeezing my hand.

" And then in February, we kind of just started up again. We were careful as we could be, thinking that the birth control would be okay for most of the time. When I was pregnant...I swear it was...I didn't want a baby. I had this plan all mapped out in my head and it was just ruined and I didn't know what to do. And when you were so angry at me I just...I couldn't handle it anymore. From the move into the apartment, and Edward working a lot, and me working less. I felt alone. He was great though, Edward did everything he could, trying to keep me in high spirits."

"I felt so empty when I woke up after that surgery. I felt like something had been taken out of my body, like someone ripped out a limb and just let the space empty. Edward put me back together, he did everything for me. He's always been that best friend, no matter what. We didn't blur the lines together, he's still the same person, but he loves me."

" I know that he's always loved you in some way. No matter what girl was on his arm, you were the one that kept him as he was, grounded him. You kept him in line."

I nodded and wiped my tears. " I wasn't ready for a baby, but I would have loved him so much. Edward...I just can't get over the look of devastation when he told me that we lost him." I gasped out, wiping my tears and trying to calm myself. " I felt like we didn't even get a chance to try, but at the same time that it was a sign it wasn't meant to be."

She grabbed a tissue from the box on the end table and gave it to me, letting me wipe my tears.

" I know I can't make up for lost time, but I want you to know how sorry I am, sweetheart. When my anger got the best of me I lashed out at you, and it never helped the already hard situation, and I never meant to put all of that stress on you. I know I was wrong for it, and my mistakes made you pay in the end, and Edward also."

She'd always been my mother, and tried to be there for me the best she could without completely hovering over me, and I appreciated that. When I was getting older, she let me be a teenager and have my own space, she was patient with me when I argued, even when I knew she wanted to just burst out screaming at me.

I'd always been a good kid, but even good kids can do wrong, and my mother was a damn good one. It didn't matter what happened in the past, nothing could be done to change it. Crying and lashing out wouldn't make our son come back.

" I don't want us to not talk, mom."

" I don't either."

" I just...Can we just put this behind us. I don't want to be dwelling on this, or having to deal with this the entire holiday. I want us to be a family, like we always have been."

We embraced one last hug before wiping our tears and walking downstairs together.

Edward was all antsy sitting on the couch, and when he saw me he immediately sprung up and came to me. My mom turned to him.

" Edward, I apologize for how I've acted towards you, and what my actions have caused here."

" I forgive you. I'd just like to move on from this fiasco." Edward stated, giving her a quick hug before wrapping his arms around me. I leaned into his lean form, kissing his chest over his shirt.

" I love you." he murmured.

" You, too. So much."

My mother passed us a smile before heading off into the living room. Edward led me towards the piano room, and once we reached it he sat down in the small lounger by the piano. I sat down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

" You alright?"

" Yeah, just...Trying to process everything. It's been so hard these past few months, and getting it all out was just...a breath of fresh air. I'm tired of keeping everything in, especially those strong emotions."

Edward nodded in understanding.

" She's my mother, of course I forgive her. But she made me understand her reactions more. I was wrong for acting the way I did on the phone with her, she was only trying to make sure we were being safe, and not getting into any uncomfortable positions, and she said that when she found out I was pregnant she snapped. It was because she tried so hard to help me prevent it, but I never gave her the time of day. She really put it into perspective, I never realized that I did that to her. I was oblivious."

" I don't want to dwell on this. I want to be with my family, and be okay. When we get married, and actually try for kids, I don't want to worry that this will happen again. What I want is for everything to be normal again. I won't forget our son, or anything that happened, but I want to move on. I want us to be happy, be young and not try and act so much like adults. I want us to to be how we used to, just having fun and enjoying life as it is. Before things got complicated and everything."

Edward nodded, " I want that, too, my love."

He turned his head to face me, kissing me softly once on the lips before firmly pressing them to mine, kissing me deeply. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. He licked my bottom lip, slithering his tongue into my mouth and slanting his mouth over mine. I sat up and moved over him, wrapping my body around him tightly and holding him close.

" We're making out in my grandparents house." I moaned.

" I could take you upstairs and do worse."

" Tempting." I purred

Edward pinched my side and I squealed, shoving his shoulder and moving over to the piano.

When the piano from my Birthday arrived, I'd taken to playing it a lot over the past few weeks. Edward heard alot of different material ringing out around the house, but he never complained about it. In fact, he encouraged me to play all the time.

I sat down on the bench, and Edward walked towards me.

" You know, I might have a piano fantasy."

I gave him a skeptical look.

" Oh, yeah?"

" Mhm. It involves you, my beautiful girl, and that piano back in our apartment."

" Never. I will not defile my piano, or any other one for that matter. Save it for another girl."

He chuckled and grabbed my hands, lifting me up off the bench. I wrapped my arms around his neck, chastely kissing his lips before pulling away. He set me down on the floor and opened up the door, letting us out of the room.

When we got to the kitchen the grandmothers, Esme and Renee were in the kitchen. I attempted to jump in, but they said to go away and have fun with the boys. Edward whisked me through the doorway towards the living room, and suddenly we were yelled at to stop.

Both of us stood in the doorway, looking towards them with confused expressions.

" Look up." Esme stated, continuing her chopping of the potatoes.

Edward and I looked up and saw the little hanging mistletoe. He suddenly picked me up in his arms and planted a huge kiss on my lips, making a show of it and moaning. Once he set me down I was dizzy and stumbled into the door frame.

They all laughed at me and Edward led me to the living room, sitting down on the big plush armchair, with me sitting in his lap. I sat sideways in his lap, my legs hanging over the arm chair and my side against Edward's chest. His arms loosely wrapped around me, and I had my head on his shoulder.

" This is definitely a different view." Grandpa Edward stated.

" Agreed, look at 'em. Those nutters are all wrapped around each other like a pretzel." Grandpa Allen agreed.

I rolled my eyes at them, snuggling right into Edward as he held me close.

At some point I was sure that I dozed off because I felt Edward moving me around to lay on the couch a little while after. I hadn't been completely asleep, but I'd been really close and the feeling of warmth being gone surprised me. When he laid me down, I opened my eyes.

" Where are you going?"

" The washroom. I'll be right back."

After he came back, we laid some more on the couch until we were called to help finish up dinner and set up the table. After the plates and silver wear were set down, I started putting forks, spoons or whatever needed utensil in the food to help serve, and put it on the table. My father carved the small turkey we had, and Grandma Giada took her homemade lasagna out of the oven.

When everything was finished, the table was filled with food and we all sat down. Granny Liz and Grandpa Carlisle said grace together, basically having the words rehearsed out together in unison. Grandma Claire had a two steak and kidney pies, and I jumped right at a piece to eat, piling my plate on with food. Turkey, lasagna, steak and kidney pie, green beans, asparagus, mashed potatoes and cranberries were piled onto my plate. Edward's was even more full if that was possible, but he somehow had everything not touching each other.

Yes, he was one of those people that couldn't stand his food touching mostly depending on meal. If it was a sirloin tip roast, and it touched his mashed potatoes, he didn't care, but if any of the gravy got on it, it was ruined

" Mmmm." Edward moaned into his fork that was full of lasagna.

" Esme, how did you ever afford to feed that boy?"

" I honestly do not know."

I rubbed Edward's knee and dug into the turkey first, then the mashed potatoes. Everything was delicious, as it always was. I knew how to cook, and Edward was alright at it, but nothing could compare to the actual meal that our grandparents and parents made.

Sitting around the table, being home, it felt nice. I felt like something was actually right this year.

There was no secret loves, heartbreak or anything hidden. We were just us; family. And nothing could be ruined.

December 29

Christmas seemed to have come and gone very quickly, and I almost felt like we barely had any time in London. Edward and I said that we would find a way to visit in the summer, and stay with them for two weeks.

When we got back home to Chicago, we had settled in at home.

Although, that had been different for me. Apparently, my room was not...as is. My mother had been using it for work and my bed had been stored somewhere else. My parents felt awful, they honestly did. They forgot about holidays, and therefore, I was now staying in Edward's room, not wanting to sleep on the lumpy couch in the family room.

So basically, it was like we were back in the apartment, but with parents around.

I'll be the first one to admit it, it was kind of annoying having them check on us at night. Edward and I weren't going to have sex with his parents around the house, but a lot of the time getting back we weren't alone.

We spent a lot of time with the group, going out to lunch, the mall and generally just spending some good time with each other. I really missed all of them. Alice and her hyper-ness, Jasper's calm aura. Emmett and his booming laughter, and even Rosalie. Although I could admit that our relationship probably wouldn't ever be the same after all that has happened.

Alice, Rosalie and I spent most of the time with each other, talking about the wedding, discussing flowers, food and other wedding randomness. They were being married on July 11th.

Their wedding colors were white, and a light blue, with gold accents. They really worked together really well with the tables clothes, napkins and chair covers. It really was going to be a nice, elegant, outdoor wedding that was being held in Jasper's backyard. It was nice and spacey, and his parents were ecstatic to have it there.

Only today had we spent the entire day in the store, Alice trying on wedding dress after wedding dress until she completely fell head over heels with an Alvina Valenta dress. It's a mermaid style dress, with so much fine detail in it I couldn't believe it was possible. The dress is satin, and a very pristine, clean white. It had a slight v-neck, with thin spaghetti straps and a small sash across the waist with a flower.

It was very Alice, and the moment I saw her face light up, I think we all knew that it was it for her.

After having her measured out, and paying for the dress, Rosalie, Alice, Alice's mother Karen and I walked out of the store and headed out for lunch at Panera, and then I was dragged into going shopping at the mall with them. I honestly went to appease Alice, she was having a great day, I didn't want to ruin that for her.

Edward texted me repeatedly, telling me the tortures of getting fitted for a suit. Apparently the seamstress grazed his area, and he was not pleased with that at all, to the point of jerking away and getting poked a pin in his thigh. He bled, to which Emmett, Jasper and Jaspers dad, Victor all laughed at him for. He didn't like being groped apparently.

When we were finally done with the shopping, I headed home, telling Alice I would see her tomorrow at the party she was throwing for New Years, and leaving. I picked up a coffee and headed to the Cullen's. I dropped by my house for a few minutes to drink my coffee and talk with my parents before going to the Cullen's to get some sleep.

Upon getting to Edward's room, I opened the door and was almost laughing at the sight in front of me.

Edward was sprawled spread eagle on the bed, laying on his stomach with his face turned to the side, the sound of his snoring filling the air. He only snored when he had a long day and was exhausted.

His black t-shirt went up mid-back and was all weird and sideways. It looked like he somewhat got his pants off, but they were just below his ass, and his boxers were very visible. At least he wasn't one of those guys with the superman boxers, or something weird. They were his silk/satin black boxers. His one shoe was off, and the other was just hanging off his foot. I noticed his jacket also hanging off one arm.

I put my bag down, taking off my jacket and putting my things away. Once I had my coat hung, shoes put away, and I'd brushed my teeth and used the washroom, I went to the bed, still in my clothes.

" Edward, come on, love." I whispered, kissing his temple.

He let out a quiet groan, the snoring coming to a complete stop. I grabbed his shoes and put them away. Next I got his jacket off and then he turned over, letting me take off his pants. He sat up to take his shirt off, and I will admit I ogled him a bit, but I quickly got off the bed and changed my clothes, putting on a pair of fleece pants and a t-shirt.

Once I was finished I got into bed, curling into Edward's side. The feeling of his bare skin under my hands felt amazing. I wrapped my arms around him, and he shifted around until he was curled all around me.

" You didn't get me a fresh shirt."

" Why do you need one?"

" Winter. Cold."

" You have me. Your own personal space heater."

He chuckled quietly before pealing himself away from me. I heard the open and closing of drawers and shuffling around before Edward was back in bed, filling the space. I noticed he'd not only put on a white t-shirt, but a pair of flannel pants, too. He laid on his back and pulled me ontop of him, letting me lay my arms close to his neck, almost bent around the sides of his neck. He grabbed onto my waist, sighing against the top of my head.

" Love you, night."

" You, too."

The feeling of Edward's warm body on mine made me want to lay in bed forever. I loved the feeling of being completely tangled around him. He was always so comfortable to lay with.

As I took a deep breath, I suddenly got a huge whiff of coffee. I pressed myself closer to Edward, but the smell was just wafting all around me, taunting me. It was something caramel, and it smelled absolutely delectable. I felt Edward move over me, wrapping his body around mine.

" I know one of you smells the coffee!"

Alice.

" Esme has breakfast downstairs, she invited all of us over this morning!"

" Remind me to talk to my mother about that."

She laughed loudly and I sat up, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Edward sat up also, leaning against me with his chin on my shoulder. He blinked tiredly, yawning and ruffling his hair.

Once we were pried out of bed by Alice, we went downstairs and got some coffee, sitting at the table half dead. Edward perked up real quick when a plate of food was set in front of him. I rolled my eyes at him and thanked Esme when she had a plate ready for me.

There was cinnamon rice, scrambled eggs, toast and bacon piled onto the plate very generously. Alice was chattering on and on about the wedding, and Jasper was also. I've never seen them so happy before. I was happy that they were getting their happily ever after. Both of them deserved it.

Rosalie and Emmett hadn't really even mentioned a word of getting married. Which was surprising. Out of all of us, I would have thought they would be first. It was just something I always thought would be.

" So, what about you two?" Alice said, winking at me.

" What do you mean?" Edward asked

" Tying the knot? I mean, come on. If anything I thought when you first got together you were going to run off to Vegas and have a drive through wedding wearing t-shirts and jeans."

" Oh, yeah?"

" Definitely. Bella over here was already head over heels in love when you both got together."

" We'll get married when we feel it's right. Right now I mean...I know that I want to accomplish a bit more before getting married and settling down with kids."

" So you both are like, completely just it for each other?" Rosalie asked bluntly.

Edward laughed, " Of course she is. I couldn't imagine anybody else taking the place of Bella."

He looked at me and I smiled, " Yeah, he was it for me when I was like sixteen. I hoped eventually he'd be mine." I said, watching as he leaned forward to kiss the corner of my mouth.

" What does that mean?" Rosalie asked.

Here we go.

" What does what mean?"

" That you were hoping eventually he'd be yours."

" Well, I did."

" Tanya breakup something planned?"

" Rosalie. Don't bring that up." Jasper stated.

" I had nothing to do with that. I was never in the way, if anything I was pushed aside."

Edward kissed my free hand, holding it against his face.

" I'd beg to differ after what you just said."

" Look, if Tanya made him happy, I would be happy for him. I'd appreciate if you would just drop it. You're looking for a fight, and I am not going to give one to you."

" If you planning on ruining the morning, it's working. So cut it the fuck out." Edward stated.

She said nothing and the table was suddenly quiet. Leave it to Rosalie to make all of this weird and awkward.

" So, Edward, Bella. We have to color coordinate Bella's dress with Edward's tie. That cool for you guys?"

I smiled and shook my head at Alice.

Leave it to her to break the awkwardness.

**Authors Note- Things are going to progress from here. We have the wedding, and some other things coming up.**

**I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, or are still having one. I love you all for being so patient with me, so thanks so much for that!**

**Review! **


	54. Love in The Air

**Authors Note- The beginning of the chapter is basically two fluffy snippets, nothing too special. A lot of fluff, next chapter is going to be a lot of down to business stuff, the wedding, some surprises, and then an epilogue at chapter 55. I won't cry if you won't. Ha-ha.**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

March 20th

Friday

BPOV

" Hey," I heard Edward murmur.

I looked over at the clock sleepily, seeing that it was eleven twenty three already. I turned my head to the side, yawning quietly and looking at him through tired eyes. The lamp next to his side of the bed was on, and I felt his hand grip mine.

" Where have you been?"

" I had to stay longer. It was very busy and I helped out with tables. I'm sorry for being so late, beloved."

" It's okay."

He kissed my forehead, draping his arm over my waist. I heard the click of the lamp and the room was once again dark.

" You seemed restless when I walked in the room. Everything okay?" he asked, brushing my hair out of my eyes and behind my ear.

" I don't like it when you aren't next to me when I sleep."

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and I rested my forehead on his chest.

" Me, either."

I really don't think either of us could sleep alone anymore. The other night when I'd gotten home at ten thirty, Edward was all over the bed trying to sleep. I get why some people hate the thought of being held by someone while they slept, and basically breathing the same air, but with Edward it felt different. He was my air supply. I couldn't live without him.

" Are you sure you're alright?" he whispered in my ear.

" I just really love you."

" Something going on?"

" Can't I just tell you I love you?"

" Yes. I love you, too."

I rested my hand on his chest, feeling the muscle's underneath my hand. I felt his hands run over my waist, down my hips and curve over my thigh until his hand grabbed behind my knee to hook it over his hip.

Suddenly our lips found each other's and Edward pushed me onto my back to straddle me. I was startled with the sudden affectionate behavior from him. I rested my right hand on his cheek and wrapped my free arm around his waist.

I heard his deep breathing through his nose as we kissed with fervor and passion. Feeling him around me, on top of me and against me just made pent up lust and want flood out of me. It was like something inside of me snapped, and I felt like an animal that being was freed after years of confinement in cage.

" God, Bella." Edward moaned, moving his lips down my neck as I scraped my nails up his back.

Both of us had clawed the others shirt off in some way with our greedy hands. I felt my entire body up in flames with his touch, and hearing him quietly whisper my name in my ear was almost enough to send me going absolutely crazy. His voice was low and rough with his want for me.

It was right after I was laying in front of him wearing a leopard print matching bra and underwear, one from my Birthday to be specific, that my cell phone started to go off in its loud screaming ringtone. Edward did his best to distract me, but it was late and I had to answer it just in case to make sure it wasn't something bad.

He moved off of me with a groan and I grabbed my phone, answering with a breathless hello. It had been Alice, and while I was angry at her, she didn't know. All I heard was talking, loud talking and I didn't know who. I kept saying her name, trying to get her attention when I realized she probably ass dialed me, like she does all the time. I hung up the phone and set it down on the end table.

Both of us just kind of lay there, and I felt the passionate moment being ruined. I groaned and reached over the bed to grab my shirt. Edward stopped me and grabbed my hand, pulling me against him completely.

" I am going to shoot Alice."

I felt Edward place open mouthed kisses on my neck, and I melted into his arms. His arms wrapped around my waist and he sighed against me. I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

" Tired?"

" I'm sorry."

" Sleep, my love." he murmured, running his fingers through my hair.

I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep peacefully.

May 13th

Wednesday

EPOV

With another year of school over, I was relieved to be getting closer to my career. With two years left of Pre-Law, and then three years of law, that was only five. I was almost jealous of Bella, but I was proud that she would be able to be done and get a job down in Chicago.

I wanted to move back home, even though in the beginning it was a breath of fresh air to get away from them, I missed family and my friends. It was mostly just Bella and I here. I knew Bella was lonely sometimes, and her and Angela's weekend Lunch's were almost nonexistent.

She talked to Alice on the phone often, but she said she missed talking to her and seeing her. Recently, Alice has been taking on a lot of the wedding, since Rosalie has been absent. Apparently she's been very busy and hasn't had time to plan a wedding.

I thought she was jealous, because she wanted it to be about her and Emmett. Rosalie has always been jealous when attention isn't on her, everyone clearly knows that. Bella has been trying to help Alice out, even from afar. She's been calling the list of caterers Alice gave her, because their previous one cancelled on her due to going out of business.

I walked through the front door at promptly eleven thirty, and I didn't have work until three, they couldn't change my schedule right now, therefore I would have more free time in the mornings and afternoon.

Bella would be home in a half hour, she had her last final today. Usually this class on Wednesday is later at seven thirty, but it was earlier due to finals. The classes collaborated to make everything workable for students. I put my school bag away in the closet and unzipped my hoodie.

I went to the kitchen and saw a small note on the counter.

_I know I'll be home soon after you get this, but I made_

_A sandwich for you before I left for my class. You_

_Hadn't eaten this morning and I wanted to make_

_Sure you got something to eat._

_-Iz_

Bella usually left her notes sighed as 'Iz', just to make it easier. I hadn't used one of those nicknames really at all since we got together. I felt like a sap for calling her beloved, love, my love, or babe, but it was just how it was. I only think we used first names really unless we were yelling at each other.

I went into the fridge and in fact saw a sandwich; a big one at that. I took it out of the fridge and took a hungry bite out of it. It tasted great, just like everything she made for me. After I finished the sandwich and downed a coke, I heard Bella walking into the apartment. I looked up and she was taking her sweatshirt off, along with her converse. She dropped her school bag in the closet next to mine and walked towards me with a deep sigh.

She put her arms around me and smiled. " How'd your last test go?"

" Good, you?"

" I think I did good. I hope so."

" I bet you did amazing."

I bent down and gave her a long, lingering kiss before pulling away. She went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, taking a deep gulp. I looked at her, marveling at her beauty. She caught me staring and I winked at her before walking into the living room. I took a seat on the couch and took my phone out of my pocket to set it on the end table. Bella sat down next to me, leaning into my side and kissing my neck. Her lips felt amazing on my skin.

" Is this celebration?" I asked.

She laughed quietly.

" Nope."

" That's too bad."

" I know, love."

" Can I convince you?" I asked in a low voice, leaning over her to kiss her.

Bella laid down and I took that as encouragement to lay over her. She grabbed my hands and put them on her waist almost immediately, moving her lips against mine in a frenzy. I let my hands roam over her stomach to move her shirt up to bunch over her bust to expose more of her pale, creamy skin. I pressed my lips into the dip of her throat, feeling her thrumming pulse against them. Her hand grabbed at the hem of my shirt, moving it up to run her hand over my back.

One hand cupped under my chin and she moved her face to mine, slanting her mouth over mine and delving her tongue into my mouth. I wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her up towards me and trying to stand. We stumbled towards the stairs, and I pushed her up against the wall; the lust and raw need for her almost too much to handle. Bella pushed her body back against mine, wrapping her arms around my neck. I grabbed her hips and lifted her up for her legs to wrap around my waist.

Her arms wrapped tighter around my neck, chest pressed up against mine. I turned us around, moving towards the stairs. Just as I hit the second stair, I heard ringing, loud ringing, coming from Bella's pocket.

My fucking god, her phone is a fucking co-

" DAMNIT! What the hell does she need now? This is the second time, ugh." Bella ground out, grabbing her phone from her pocket.

" Hello...Yes, Alice, I know...I did...Yeah...I'm with Edward... We haven't been-...Fuck it. Alice, Edward and I were in the middle of some private time, and this is the second time you've interrupted, I will call the caterer tomorrow morning to finalize...its fine...Okay, bye."

I gripped Bella and jerked upwards to get a better hold on her because she was slipping. By no means was she heavy but I'd been holding her on a stair for awhile. Only that was a huge mistake, because her elbow clocked me in the jaw, startling me and making me take a step back. Bella gripped me for dear life and I fell into the wall, sliding down with Bella.

Once we hit the floor she broke out into loud hysterics, and I couldn't help but follow after. Bella wrapped her arm around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder with laughs escaping her.

" Oh my god, that was crazy." she said between bursts of laughter.

" Did I hurt you?" I asked, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

She shook her head and sat up, smiling at me. " You're such a klutz."

" Not my fault jaw jabber."

" Jaw jabber? You're the one who basically tossed me in the air!"

I leaned forward and kissed her, " I didn't want to drop you, beloved."

" Whatever you say."

" I love you."

" You, too.

July 9th

Thursday

BPOV

Edward and I both took a week off work to fly out to Chicago for Alice's wedding. Of course we were both in the wedding; we had to be there to play our parts. We arrived yesterday, the eighth of July and a Wednesday. It was a late flight; we didn't see anyone besides out parents before we went to the Cullen's and Edward and I crashed. In the morning we both showered to get ready for the day ahead of us.

We both were picking up our attire for the wedding this afternoon. Edward was going with the guys to get his tuxedo, and we girls were getting our dresses from the wedding shop. Alice had her dress completely fitted perfectly for her size, a beautiful gown that she was in love with, and beautiful crystal incrusted shoes to go with it, they were strappy and looked perfect for an outdoor wedding.

Jasper's house was basically a mad house from what I knew. They were having a dance floor being set up, and a setting for the ceremony. They were having a two foot high platform built up for them, complete with a balcony on the sides and back, with flowers that were going to be wrapped around every surface, and the open front where Alice would walk two steps up. Rosalie and I were also standing on those steps. On the opposite side would be Edward, Emmett and Alice's father, Jack, who would be standing on the actual stage close to Emmett, but not in the way.

Since he was best men, he would be standing up, and her mother Karen would be in the front, Along with Jasper's parents; Victor and Pauline, and Alice's grandparents, her grandpa on her mother's side, and grandma on her father's side, the other two had passed years ago. Jasper's had passed way before he was even born, on both sides. I knew that Jasper's mother was raised by a single mom, but died of cancer when she was in her early fifties. Jasper's grandparents on his father's side we're killed in a car accident about ten years ago.

Rosalie and I had our fitting last month; I had flown out here for a quick weekend for the fitting when I had work conveniently off. Edward had to stay back though. Rosalie's dress is a brilliant gold color, its floor length and looks like a waterfall flowing down her figure, with a strapless top and a fitted waist. All of which is satin.

Mine is a blue-silver color, which has a similar shine like Rosalie's, they are both similar just different colors, although, mine had thin straps because the dress really didn't have any bust support. I wouldn't say that anything was overflowing, but it hung down in an off way that didn't look great, but my last fitting everything was in place, and it filled perfectly and went down to the floor in a beautiful satin. My shoes were silver and strappy, and Rosalie's were the same, but instead a gold matching her dress.

Originally, I was going to wear the gold dress, but the moment I put it on, we all agreed that it completely washed me out, and made the paleness of my skin look even worse. All of the colors were incorporated in the wedding, whether it is in a bouquet or a bow on the back of a chair.

I put my hair up in a ponytail after blow drying it, not wanting to make a huge fuss of it. I slipped on a pair of jean shorts and a black Muse t-shirt from my bag. Edward gave me my converse and I put them on, and then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on a little bit of makeup. He walked into the bathroom wearing only a towel, not having dressed yet, and then shamelessly dropped the towel. I swear he just stood there for a moment, stretching his arms out before putting on his boxers. I rolled my eyes at him, hearing his loud laugh. He pulled his jeans on and zipped them up, then buttoned them.

" Damn, women, I thought that would get you." he said, kissing my temple as he buckled his belt, the metal jingling against metal.

" I have restraint."

" Apparently you have a lot. Should I try again, maybe a little bump and grind?"

I smiled at him in the mirror and finished with my eyeliner, putting it back in my makeup bag and setting it on the counter; I grabbed a Kleenex and wiped a small smudge of eye liner that I accidentally dotted on the side of my nose. Edward was putting on his shirt when I walked into the bedroom, he was purposely doing that in front of me, I could tell.

" Mm, sexy." I fake groaned.

" Don't even try and deny it. You pined after me for years; my sexy body must have had something to do with it."

" Definitely." I said sarcastically with an eye roll.

" You wanted to sex me up, admit it. You still do."

" Nope."

" I bet when we shared a bed, you just wanted to take all of my clothes off and stare at me, marveling at my beauty. You wanted to touch me _everywhere_."

I grabbed my sunglasses and hooked them into the pocket of my shorts. Edward grabbed the loops of them and pulled me against him, kissing my neck and below my ear. I reached my arms back to wrap them around his neck and turned my head so he could kiss me. He moved his lips slowly against mine, his hands working down my waist over my curves, and moved back up, stopping at my rib cage.

" Even willing to molest me in your parents house? Scandalous."

" You're just so irresistible."

I turned around in his arms and gave his lips a quick chaste kiss before pulling away. Edward and I headed downstairs, the house was quiet, it was only us two here and we were waiting to be picked up by our friends.

We lounged on the couch with a shared glass of cherry coke, it being the last and neither of us giving it up, and had the fancy stereo system turned on quietly to some Chopin. Edward had his forefinger twirling a piece of my hair, his lips curled into a content smile.

When the doorbell rang Edward and I turned the stereo off and went to answer the door, Alice and Jasper stood there. I could tell that Alice was having an issue containing herself right now, she had on a hundred watt grin, and I was sure Jasper's almost matched hers.

" Smile any wider and your face might crack, ya nutter."

" Hey, one day you'll be in this position and you won't be able to help it." Jasper retorted back to Edward.

" Yeah, Edward, and I bet my life Bella will be the lucky girl next to you with the same smile."

I wrapped my arms around Edward's bicep, and Alice grabbed my hand, tugging me away.

" We'll see you guys soon! I love you!" Alice chirped as she hauled me to her Porsche.

I got into the passenger seat, seeing Rosalie lounging in the back staring at her iPhone and tapping away at it. Alice rolled her eyes at her and turned on some music, Katy Perry to be exact and then backed out of the driveway towards the main road.

The conversation was at an all time low, but Alice sure did belt out those lyrics happily as she sped down the streets of Chicago. I was happy to see her happy, and I knew that she deserved all of the happiness in the world. Alice has always been a genuinely great friend, always, and out of everyone she definitely deserved her special happy ending.

When we got downtown and arrived at the dress shop, we all stepped out of the car, walking through the front glass doors, hearing the alarm of Alice's car when she hit the lock button, alerting it was set for alarm in case anything happened.

We walked into the place and Alice went to the front desk stating her name and we sat to wait until Adrienne, her previous consultant, came out for us to get our dresses to pick up. Once she arrived both her and Alice hugged and we were led into a big dressing room down a long hall where she showed us the dresses. She glided across the room and unzipped the plastic clear bags, unveiling the dresses in all of their beauty.

" They are perfect!" Alice squealed happily, running quickly towards hers and running her hand over the smooth texture.

They chatted for a few minutes before the bags were zipped and we all walked out with smiles on our faces. I couldn't wait for Edward to see my dress; I hoped that he would like it, because I knew that he always enjoyed me dressing up.

After leaving the store we headed out for a quick lunch at Jimmy John's, picking up some sandwiches and taking them back to Alice's house. I went in and got them, picking up the tab for them and we headed over to Alice's. Edward had texted me, and apparently they were meeting us back here now.

The dresses first went into the closet; all of us girls were getting ready here, and the guys at Jasper's. There was a limo actually taking us to Jasper's, and that limo was going to be taking Alice and Jasper to the Airport to spend two luxurious weeks in Spain, a wedding gift from their parents all together, hotel room paid and all meals covered, along with any activities they decide to do there.

Unfortunately, last night had actually been her Bachelorette party, and Jasper's Bachelor party, but they were very understanding as to why we couldn't make it. With work we weren't able to drop things last minute for an extra day, and the plane tickets were paid for and non-refundable. I grabbed drinks from the fridge and we sat down, eating our sandwiches and talking.

" So, how's about you and Emmett, Rose?" Alice started.

" What do you mean?"

" Have you guys talked about tying the knot?" Alice asked, taking a bite of her turkey sandwich.

" Does it matter? If he asks; he asks. End of story." she said, clearly annoyed.

" What crawled up your ass and died? I was just asking. Bella doesn't give me this attitude when I ask her questions about her relationship."

" Who even cares? Marriage is marriage. Honestly, do you think that just because Bella pined after him and Edward finally realized it, that it means they are meant to be with a happily ever after? It doesn't."

" Rosalie, I thought you got over the whole, ' Edward and Bella hater', thing? Have you been talking to Tanya again?"

" What does it matter?" she asked.

" Look, you can talk to whoever you want. Don't trash my relationship with Edward just because you're clearly upset that this wedding is Alice and Jasper's. I think you should try being happy for them, and happy you have Emmett. Saturday, it's going to be all about them, you should have known that the moment you agreed being maid of honor." I stated

Rosalie glared harshly at me and stood up.

" Who the hell do you think you are saying that to me?"

" What are you going to do? Slam me into the ground again? I've always tried to be the good friend here, but all you are right now is bitter. Honestly, I thought things were getting better. Not with us, because obviously you hold some hate for me ever since Tanya dumped Edward. I don't get how hot and cold you can be, and acting like this and being upset over your supposed to be best friend's wedding because you are jealous, it's not fair."

" You know what, bitch. Fu-"

" Whoa, what the hell is going on in here?" I suddenly heard Jasper say, breezing through the house.

" What's going on? This bitch thinks that she can stand here and tell me that I am bitter because this isn't MY wedding. And telling me I have no right trashing her relationship, Edward and Bella are a setup for disaster, everyone knows that she is complete obsessed with him to the point of almost insanity." she screeched

" Rosalie..."

" What, Jasper? You going to say the same thing?"

" We both know that you hate when the attention is not on you. I'm not taking sides here, but I think all of us have noticed your hate towards Edward and Bella's relationship. Honestly, Rose, it's none of your business what kind of relationship they have and whether or not it's something that will last. I thought you were getting over the entire situation. It's not fair, and yes, Saturday is going to be all about Alice and I; how it should be. It's a day of celebrating our love and binding ourselves together, I thought you'd be happy for us."

" I have to go."

" No, you need to apologize. Goddamnit, Rosalie...Why do you always do this? I'm so sick and tired of this. Looking at you right now, I see Tanya's need for attention and jealousy. That isn't an endearing quality."

Jasper tugged at Alice's hand, and she stood surprised, sandwich still in hand and following Jasper outside. I walked out behind them, leaving Rosalie there by herself. When I headed outside, I saw Edward leaning against the hood of the car, confused.

" What's going on?"

" Rosalie is being...a bitch. I think she's been talking with Tanya again." Alice stated, frowning deeply.

Jasper tipped her face up and leaned down to kiss her. " These days are ours, don't frown, my darling. Come on, let's go."

" Go, where? Wait, how am I going to fit in the car with you guys, with Emmett in the back?" Alice exclaimed, staring at Jasper's small 2010 Mercedes Benz s class.

" Emmett, passenger seat." Jasper stated as Emmett got out, rolling his eyes.

Emmett got in the passenger, Jasper in the driver's seat, and Edward in the middle in the back, Alice on his left and me on his right. He stretched his arms around and put them on our shoulders.

" Hello, ladies."

" Get your arm off me, creep! I'm getting married in a few days."

Edward chuckled and kept his arm around me, kissing my temple and nuzzling the top of my head.

" Uck, stop it, please."

" We could start making out." Edward responded, playfully turning his body towards me and resting his hand on the side of my face and leaning forward.

" STOP!" Alice shouted, grabbing Edward's arm and pulling him back.

He let out a loud laugh and rested my hand on his thigh, leaning into his side.

" Ugh, groping now. Come on, Bella." Emmett stated.

" I'm not groping. THIS is groping." I kneaded his thigh twice and Edward suddenly jumped a foot in the air, moving my hand quickly off of him.

" Can I sit by the door?" Edward asked.

We hadn't even taken off yet, so we switched and Edward curled into the side of the door; not uttering a single word.

" Nice going, Bella. Poor Edward back there is all excited and worked up."

" Fuck off." Edward growled.

I rested my hand on Edward's shoulder and leaned forward. " I'm sorry." I whispered in his ear, " I didn't think just that would..."

He wrapped his arm around me, sighing quietly. " You're just so tempting, I can't help myself sometimes."

I rubbed his arm up and down, laying a gentle kiss on his neck.

We pulled up to an Ice-cream parlor, and everyone piled out. Edward grabbed onto my hand and locked his fingers with mine. Alice and Jasper hopped up to the stand and got cones, and Emmett proceeded to 'start' with a banana split. Edward kissed my forehead and stood up, taking out a few bills.

He came back to me with a strawberry shake, his the same. I wasn't into sweets when it came to Ice-cream or anything, but I did enjoy strawberry milkshakes. Edward sat next to me and draped his arm around my waist, taking a sip of his milkshake.

" Are you okay? Did Rosalie say something?"

" She doesn't like hearing the truth. Nothing will ever be the same with her after what has happened. After the whole attack, or whatever you call it, and all of the things she lied about, including her knowing about Tanya cheating on you. I can't forgive that shit, even if you can. I feel...very protective of you, and I can't help that. I'm always going to be that way. I love you."

His hand tucked a stray hair behind my ear and he gave me a small smile, " I know you do. And I love you also. Very much." he murmured, kissing my lips slowly.

" Mmm, strawberries."

Edward laughed, " Oh, you like that?"

" Mhm."

I felt his cool tongue brush against mine, making me sigh deeply in his mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself flush against his side.

" We shouldn't be making out in public."

" Why not?"

" It's not polite."

I rested my head on his shoulder and took a sip of my shake.

" Hey, you crazy British lovebirds, we've got to drop you both off because Miss. Alice here needs us to pick up the champagne and wine glasses." Emmett stated.

Edward grabbed my hand and we stood up.

" Sorry to cut it short! I just got a reminder on my phone!"

" It's fine, Alice."

" Now, I will see you all on Saturday. All of you had better be ready and here by seven. The wedding is at eleven, and everyone needs to be in their places with big smiles!"

Edward and I looked at each other, smiling.

" Yes, oh great one."

" Damn straight!"

**Authors Note- Alright, here we go. I hope you enjoyed it. NEXT chapter is the LAST chapter, but an EPILOGUE is AFTER the NEXT chapter. This story is my focus. I want to post the next chapter very soon and the Epilogue on the 22****nd****, on the anniversary of the day I posted this. I hope I can do it! Wish me luck, and send me reviews. They keep me going.**


	55. Alice and Jasper's Day

**Authors Note- Last chapter before the Epilogue!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

July 11

Saturday

BPOV

A loud blaring alarm clock woke me from my slumber. I'd gotten to bed at nine last night, a little earlier because I didn't want to look tired for today. Edward was already passed out asleep by eight, having put on a movie and fell asleep a half hour into it; with his head on my stomach and his arms wrapped around my legs he was out.

I reached over and smacked the snooze button with a flailing arm. I ran my fingers through Edward's hair and he sat up, rubbing his eyes. I laughed quietly when I saw his hair; it stuck up crazily in _every_ direction.

" What's so funny?" he murmured sleepily with a yawn.

" Your hair looks insane."

He ran his hand through it, " Whatever. It's not like anybody besides you see's me like this."

" I only get that privilege?"

" Yes, beloved."

I got out of bed and stretched my arms up. " Who showers first?"

" Same time. My parents already left this morning because they volunteered to pick up the cake and help out with setting up."

Alice was a busy girl, no doubt, and Carlisle and Esme thought of her as almost a daughter. Alice had everyone wrapped around her finger and she very well knew it and loved it. It came with the whole angelic facade she put on in front of parents.

Edward got out of bed and wrapped his arms around my waist.

" It's a good thing you remembered to lock the door. I don't think I would appreciate my father seeing you only in a bra and shorts."

I slapped Edward's arm, " You're gross. He's like my dad, Edward."

He laughed and picked me up, running towards the bathroom.

After we finished in the shower, with towels wrapped around us we stood in front of the mirror. Edward shaving, me blow drying my hair. Once my hair was all dry and I had set it down, Edward had his razor rinsed off and he set it on the counter.

" Can you imagine this being different. Like someone else in my spot next to you?" Edward asked suddenly as I clicked the button on my curler for it to heat up.

My head snapped to meet his gaze. " Why are you asking me that?" I asked, surprised at his question.

" I want to know."

" There is nobody that can ever take your place. I can't imagine it not being you; the one I wake up to in the morning, mess around with. I-"

EPOV

Seeing her struggle for words made my heart break, and I regretted even asking the question anyways. I should have completely known the answer to it, I did, but I wanted to hear her say it. I didn't expect tears to come to her eyes.

I quickly took her in my arms, wrapping my arms around her waist. She wrapped her arms around my neck, gripping me for life.

" Do you not believe I love you?" she gasped

" Oh, Bella...I didn't mean to upset you. I know that you love me, beloved."

" You mean everything to me, Edward. Everything."

" I know. No tears."

I kissed her softly, running my fingers through her silky hair. She kissed the side of my neck and I set her down. Her arms wrapped around my waist, and I rested my hands on her back.

" I love you, my Bella."

She nodded and I sighed against her skin, pulling away. I wiped her stray tears and kissed her nose. Bella smiled at me and I handed her, her blue satin robe. She switched it with the towel and I took it from her.

I knew that someday soon that I couldn't keep this girl waiting, and I would have to marry her.

Because she was also _my everything. _She meant the world to me, and I've never lived in a life where she didn't exist, and I never would.

BPOV

After wiping the tears from my face I finished doing my hair, curling it with my big curling iron for bigger ringlets. Edward actually helped me out a bit with the hairspray. I think more got on him then my hair, but it was still alright. Once I finished with my hair I grabbed my makeup bag, deciding to do it at Alice's house.

Edward grabbed his clothes and shoes, putting them in a bag to take to Jasper's.

When we finished I heard a horn from outside honk and I basically ran downstairs in my shorts, tank top and my flip flops. I opened the door and saw the limo, the door being held open by the driver. Edward had the keys to Carlisle's new Mercedes, them having taken Esme's car over to Jasper's.

" I'll see you later." Edward murmured, kissing me quickly.

" You, too!"

I walked down to the limo, thanking the man for holding the door open, and I slipped in. Right across from me was Rosalie and her mother. I sat still in the awkward moment, not saying a word.

" Bella! How are you, sweetheart?"

" I'm good, Pauline. How are you?"

" I'm so happy to have my son married to such a wonderful girl. It's going to be a great day, and the weather is in our favor."

" We all know Alice would have a fit if there was one cloud in the sky." I said, laughing.

" Rosalie, why have you not said hello to your friend?"

Rosalie's icy eyes turned on me, and the look she gave me would have killed me if it were possible.

" Friend? That is the biggest overstatement I've ever heard."

" Rosalie Lillian Hale!"

" It's okay. Rosalie can come to terms with her issues when she wants to."

Her mother gave her a glare before smiling sweetly at me, " This is going to be a great day, even if some aren't happy about it."

When we arrived at Alice's, I quickly got out of the limo, carrying my purse with me. Suddenly Alice ran straight into me, basically yelling how happy she was that I was finally here. Apparently the florist hadn't delivered the extra one hundred white roses that were ordered, and they were claiming it was too late to get them out. Now it was my job to come to the rescue and fix this because we need those flowers.

I went into the house and Alice gave me the number. I could find a way to reason with them.

" Miss, I'm sorry, but it is too late to get the roses out to you at this time." the lady repeated

" Listen here, today is my best friend's wedding. This was your fuck-up, and I swear to god if you don't fix it I will have a nice chat with the manager and get them to fire your ass for making this mistake. So get the order of one hundred fresh white roses, and deliver them to the given address within the hour or your boss will be getting a call. Goodbye."

On the table were the bouquets. Mine and Rosalie's had white roses, erysimum cheiri and blue lilies. Alice's was white roses and a blue lily in the middle, with lace hanging down off the sides to basically cover the plastic holder that Alice would hold it with. The lace that hung down had Swarovski Crystals imbedded into the fabric, and it looked amazing.

" Aren't they beautiful?" Alice exclaimed.

" Gorgeous, Alice. You did a great job."

Suddenly Alice looked up at me, " I'm really sorry for not picking you maid of honor, Bella. I wanted to, but my mom...She said it was right since I've known Rosalie longer. You've been such an amazing help through all of this. I wouldn't have half of what I will have at the wedding if you hadn't made the calls to make it work."

She wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back. " It's what friends are for, Alice. I know that you would do it for me, too."

" That's what _best _friends are for. Now let's go upstairs and pretty me up!"

We headed upstairs to Alice's bedroom, and Rosalie sat at Alice's vanity seat. The dresses were strewn across her perfectly made bed, and I saw Alice's mother, Karen, breeze through the room with Pauline by her side. They were both already dressed. Alice's mother wore a flowy skirt with a ruffled purple top and a pair of kitten heels. She had on a pearl necklace, matching earrings and a bracelet, her dark hair was down and in curls, and makeup done flawlessly. Pauline, Jasper and Rosalie's mother, had on a pair of perfectly tailored black dress pants, and a cream camisole and a blue cardigan over it with a pair of gold heels, obviously matching with the wedding colors. Her hair was up in a twist with a piece of blonde hair curled at the side of her face, light makeup on her face. They both looked like beautiful, proud mothers.

Alice only had on her robe, and her hair was in a pony tail away from her face, hair clipped up. She'd specifically requested that I do her makeup, because she's always liked the way I blended different colors and put it together, and her mom was doing her hair, because she was really good at working with Alice's short hair.

I sat on a stood in front of Alice, with the chosen gold eye shadow to put on her eyes, along with a white highlighter, a brown eyeliner, foundation and a bit of blush and nude lip gloss. I firstly put the foundation on, smoothing out her complexion and then started with the eye shadow, using a brush to tap it on her eyelid. It shimmered in the brightly lit bathroom. After putting her eye shadow on perfectly, I did the eyeliner, sweeping it out a little further than the line of the eyelid like she wanted, but I didn't make it look too crazy, I just tipped it out slightly in a perfect line. I put a thin line underneath her eyelid, not wanting to make her look like a raccoon but still giving her a Smokey-like look

I did that for both eyes and then used a white shimmery shadow over her lid and to her eyebrows on both eyes. Her eyebrows were already perfectly plucked, so I didn't have to do that for her. I highlighted the corner of her eyes and let her look in the mirror.

" Ah! I love it, it looks amazing!"

After getting the stamp of approval, I brushed on a little bit of blush on her cheekbones. We decided to wait on the gloss for a little while, it had only been an hour of being here, and I still had three hours.

In the meantime, Alice had gotten a beautiful diamond necklace delivered by her father from Jasper. It dropped down with five diamonds with a white gold chain. She squealed like a school girl and had it clasped on immediately, thanking her dad for delivering it.

That was her something new, and her something blue was a lace garter with a blue bow on the side which was her mother's on her wedding day, also making it her something borrowed. Her something old was a diamond incrusted bracelet that was her deceased grandmothers.

Two hours left to the wedding, I decided to get myself ready. I did my makeup in a light blue, and did a light foundation with a gold liner. I didn't bother with blush; I supplied that just fine on my own, and touched my hair up a bit.

Alice gave me my dress, and helped me zip it up in the bathroom. I fit perfectly, and looked great. The blue color looked great against my skin, and I loved the dress. I put on my heels and stood in front of the full length mirror, making sure I looked perfect.

Suddenly as I walked towards the bathroom to grab my makeup bag, I felt a wave of nausea come over me very strongly, and I knew that I was going to be sick.

" Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asked

I darted towards the bathroom and heaved into the toilet, stomach acid coming up from my throat. It burned all the way up my throat, making me cough. I felt Alice's hands holding my hair back as I heaved. I had no idea why I felt so sick all of a sudden, I'd felt a little nervous this morning for an odd reason, apparently it hit me later.

I felt another wave of nausea and more kept coming out.

" Someone get me a glass of water!" I heard Alice shout.

I heaved once more before I felt myself starting to settle down. My stomach burned a little bit, which was a little irritating. I wiped my mouth and sat on the floor after flushing the toilet, relaxing against the cool wall.

" I am so sorry about that." I murmured as Karen handed me a glass of water.

" Are you okay, dear?"

I nodded and Alice looked up at her mom gently.

" Hey, mom, can I talk to Bella real quick...Alone?"

" Of course. I'll be in the bedroom." she stated, walking out of the room.

She shut the bathroom door quietly and Alice looked at me skeptically, resting her hand over mine.

" Are you pregnant again, Bella?" she whispered

" No!"

Alice raised an eyebrow at me, as if she thought I wasn't being truthful with her, " Tell me."

" Edward and I haven't been...doing anything that would result in that. There is no way that I am. I was a little nervous earlier, that was why."

" Why are you nervous? That should be me!"

" How many people are here! I get nervous around a lot of people you know that!"

" I know, I know. Should I call Edward over here?" she asked

I took a deep breath, " No, I'm alright. Maybe some Tylenol, and a toothbrush?"

She laughed, " Of course, come on, barfy."

I rolled my eyes at her and she grabbed me a new toothbrush from under the cabinet. She went into her bedroom and I turned on the sink, thoroughly brushing my teeth, twice. I set down the toothbrush and fixed my eye makeup, dabbing at the bit of running eyeliner. After fixing it up and taking a deep breath I felt so much better, and I knew it was probably just being nervous, but everything was fine. I knew that.

I downed a few Tylenol that Karen had retrieved for me and sat down to assure I wouldn't be sick again. Alice was in the bathroom getting her hair done by her mother, and my cell phone then went off and I saw it was Edward, I answered it and put it to my ear.

" Hey." I answered.

" I got a call from Alice saying you were sick."

I groaned, " Meddling pixie...I'm fine, Edward. Don't worry."

" Why did you get sick?"

" You know that it makes me nervous when I am around a large amount of people. I'm shy, and I guess I kind of just got a little too overworked and ended up being the one who threw up. Looks like Alice and I have switched positions." I said with a laugh.

" I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

" I am, so don't worry about it. I'll see you later."

" You, too. I love you, Bella."

" I love you too. Bye."

" Bye."

I clicked the red phone button and put my phone back in my purse. I went into the bathroom and saw Alice's hair in curls, pinned back out of her face. Her hair looked absolutely perfect, and then they were getting ready to get her in the dress. I helped, along with Karen to get her in the dress, and her mother brought out the bottom part of the dress as I zipped it up.

Alice twirled around in it, " I'm getting married, I'm getting married." she sang.

Her mother looked at her proud and I let them be for a moment. Alice already had her garter intact, and was strapping her shoes on. The clock said it was ten thirty, and it was very close to the ceremony.

My mother had come up with Esme, telling us that the boys had all arrived and that the guests were already seated in their rightful places. Alice's mother and Jasper's mother went down, and Alice's dad came up to have a moment with her before he gave away his daughter.

I headed downstairs and to the kitchen, where I saw Edward standing. He wore a black tux, with a blue the same color was my dress in his tie, and in the vest underneath the coat. His shoes were shined perfectly, and clothes pressed just as perfect. His hair was in its usual messy disarray, but we all knew that his hair would never stay slicked back or do anything besides be a mess.

When his eyes turned on me he looked closely, a grin on his face.

" You look absolutely beautiful."

" And you look pretty amazing yourself."

I grabbed my bouquet and Edward slung his arm around my waist, pulling me to his side. I leaned into him, taking a deep breath. Alice was then downstairs with her father by her side, a bright smile on her face. We all had to go out of the front and wait by the side of the house, and then we would all come around to walk down the aisle.

Rosalie stood stiff in her dress, Emmett standing next to her looking happy, but irritated by Rosalie. I don't know how he dealt with her half the time, and I wondered how she treated him. Edward kept his grip on me and I saw Alice brushing her veil down.

Suddenly I heard the quiet music start and Rosalie and Emmett locked their arms together. It almost looked forced, and I wondered how things were going with them. I counted to seven and then Edward gently wove his arm through mine. I gripped my bouquet and Edward and I walked through the grass and stepped onto the white runner going down the 'aisle'. We walked down steadily, and at the end parted ways. I stood on the stair, and Edward right across from me.

When Alice walked down the aisle, all eyes were on her, and hers were on Jasper. Her father gave her away, with no dry eyes, and Alice gave him a big hug.

Alice and Jasper faced each other, with the priest having them repeat vows in front of their entire family. I could see the deep love and joy in their eyes as they repeated the words, meaning everything that came out of their mouth. I knew that Alice and Jasper were meant to be, they were absolutely perfect for each other.

Both Alice and Jasper are great people, genuinely amazing friends and I don't think I could see them with anybody else but each other. I knew that they would always be together; it was no doubt they were truly meant to be.

There was almost no dry eye in sight when they both said ' I do ', and made it completely official. The rings were placed on their fingers and then they were announced husband and wife. Jasper kissed his bride thoroughly and we all clapped for them as they both faced their guests and walked down the stairs as husband and wife. Edward and I locked arms again and walked after them, following them out. Momentarily everyone had to mingle in the front and they were having people reset the backyard and put the tables in within a ten minute span.

After that was finished, they had a band playing quiet music on the balcony and there were circular tables with beautiful cloths, and the chairs from the ceremony set out. They had a few flower table pieces at the gust tables, and on the main table there was a beautiful crystal and flower centerpiece in the middle. Their table was long and rectangular, all of which were seating Edward and I, Rosalie and Emmett and Alice and Jasper. Their parents were content in a different table together. Alice and Jasper had their first dance as husband and wife, and then sat down at the table.

The dance floor looked great, and there were already people dancing. Edward sat next to me, relaxed with his arm around the back of my chair. There were horderves going around, a variety of different ones for people with all different tastes.

At around five the first course meal came in, that was a tossed salad with romaine lettuce, chopped fennel, grapefruit segments and cucumber with a lemon based dressing.

The main course was lobster with a garlic lemon sauce, steamed mixed vegetables and roasted rosemary potatoes. Their meals were very homemade-like, but with a touch of class. With dinner was a choice of white wine or red, there was also champagne. Edward and I both had white wine with our meal, and soon enough it was time for cake.

They had a five tiered cake, white cake and a butter cream frosting. The outside was covered in sugar flowers, all in the colors for the wedding, gold, light blue and white. They both did a signature cake/face smashing and then they cut it. After a shared piece, Edward dragged me out onto the dance floor.

" I haven't danced with you since we were kids." he murmured, resting one hand on my waist, and the other gripping my hand, I used my other hand to rest on his shoulder.

Edward glided me all across the dance floor, making a huge show of it. I felt like a damn professional the way he moved me around. I didn't trip once, but I really don't think I even had a chance to. He must have gotten the dancing gene from Carlisle; they were very similar as they moved. I remembered dancing with Carlisle at the charity event years ago.

He twirled me around once more before coming to a standstill. I leaned against him, wrapping my arms around his neck. Edward picked me up and twirled me around once before setting me down.

Soon the sun went down and the twinkle lights twined in the trees were lit, along with a few installed lights. Alice and Jasper looked to be having a great time, and soon all were ushered to throw the garter and bouquet.

Jasper slid Alice's garter off quickly, tossing it into the air, and Carlisle caught it. He handed it to an eager Emmett, wrapping his arm around Esme with a laugh. My parents had made an appearance, having just as great of a time as Edward and I were.

We girls then gathered on the dance floor, and Alice stood on a chair and threw her bouquet backwards towards us. I didn't take myself for a girl to shove anybody around to grab it; I wouldn't be that catty about a bouquet. Somehow though, it landed right into my outstretched hands and I heard yells from others who hadn't caught it.

Rosalie sent me a harsh glare and I worked through the crowd to find my Edward. He wrapped his arm around me and I showed him the bouquet, laughing. I was quickly cut off when his lips met mine. I wrapped my arms around him and heard a whistle.

" Looks like someone is taking the bouquet literally!" I heard Alice shout.

Edward pulled his lips from mine, resting his forehead on mine. I closed my eyes and felt his hand on the side of my neck.

" I love you."

" You, too. Always."

After the bouquet being thrown, the party seemed to wind down and at seven; Alice and Jasper had to be off to the airport for their flight. I went upstairs with Alice and she changed out of her dress into a shorter white one, strapless and basically just an all around summer looking dress. She gave me a big hug, telling me that this wedding would have been nothing without my help and after a few happy tears we were downstairs and she was off.

Alice and Jasper already had their bags for the trip packed into the limo. Both of them raced down the sidewalk from the front door to the curb by the driveway, and bubbles were being blown at them from the guests. That was purely Alice's idea, and the photographer was getting pictures of it for part of their wedding scrapbook that was being put together.

Afterwards, people were leaving, one after another and things were winding down. Jasper's dad was driving Emmett and Rosalie back to their house so Emmett could get his car. She didn't even leave with a goodbye, but Emmett left after giving me a hug and Edward a 'man hug'.

Edward waited in the car as I grabbed my things, and Esme and Carlisle said they would meet us back at the house in a few minutes, they were helping out a bit. I said a goodnight to my parents and then Edward and I were off. I looked over at Edward, and he shot me lust with his bright eyes. His hand slid over my thigh, and my breathing caught.

" You're driving me insane."

He smirked and turned into the neighborhood, becoming more eager to reach home.

Once he parked in the driveway, we both got out equally as quick. When we were at the front door, Edward jumped me, pushing me against it and groaning at his key that refused to go in. I grabbed it from him and turned around, feeling his arms around my waist and his lips on my neck. I shoved the key into the hole and twisted, opening up the door. Edward slid it out and tossed them inside the house, turning me back around the press against the inside of the door, effectively slamming it. His hand cradled my face, the other one on my hip. I stepped forward and Edward went back one step, sliding his arm from my hip to around my waist.

His lips moved against mine quickly, his tongue exploring my mouth. We got up one stair before I was in an awkward laying position and he was on me, his hands pulling the zipper of my dress down.

Then the foyer light turned on and I heard a loud gasp.

" What are you both doing?" I heard Carlisle asked in a surprised tone.

" U-Uh...We were just...Um..."

" Yeah, I can see that you were ' just um'."

Edward's hand slowly moved up to re-zip my dress, and he stood up, taking me with him. Carlisle tossed Edward's keys at him, and Esme handed me my forgotten purse I'd dropped on the floor.

" Son, next time, wait until you reach the bedroom, especially when your parents can walk in at any time."

I grabbed Edward's hand as he nodded, and we went upstairs.

When we got to his room I sat on the bed, hiding my face with my hands.

" That was...interesting."

" Interesting! We...We almost had sex on the stairs...AGAIN!"

" Hey, last time I was trying to carry you up the stairs."

" The fact of the matter is; almost. Someone is clearly trying to keep us from doing anything."

" So, you're telling me that if we never did get interrupted; something would happen?"

" Edward...Yeah, probably. Just...everyone keeps finding a way to interrupt it."

" Fuck, I could be getting some right now, you know."

I rolled my eyes at him, standing up and turning to face him with my back towards him. I swept my hair to the side and he unzipped my dress for me, softly kissing my shoulders. I held the dress to me and sat down on the bed, taking the heels off and tossing them near my bag. I padded barefoot towards the bathroom, and Edward grabbed onto me.

" You don't have clothes in the bathroom." he murmured.

" Right..." I breathed.

He turned me to face him, grabbing my hands and letting my dress pool at my feet. Edward lifted me up and set me down on the bed, staring down at me. I only had on a strapless bra and a pair of underwear.

" Hello, beautiful."

I quirked my eyebrow at him and hopped off the bed, kneeling by my bag to grab some clothing.

" Bella..."

" Not when your parents are home, Edward. I won't disrespect them like that."

He groaned and I heard him flop down onto the bed. " Who cares?"

" I do. Don't act desperate, it's not attractive." I said, laughing at the end.

Edward glared at me and I slipped my pajama boxers on, then a t-shirt, sliding my bra off after that was on. I tossed it in my bag for clothes to wash when I got back home. I went to the bathroom to comb out my hair, and then decided that was a fail and I would have to wash it. With a groan, I turned the shower on and stripped. When I got in, the hot water hit my skin and I grabbed my shampoo, putting a bit in the palm of my hand and massaging it through my hair. Suddenly I felt hands on my waist behind me and knew it was Edward.

" What are you doing?"

" I needed a shower, too."

He washed my hair for me, happily volunteering and I did the same for him, laughing as he told me the story of why there was so much crap I his hair. He attempted to slick it back but it didn't cooperate.

Once we were completely clean, Edward turned off the water for me and we got out. I dried off and quickly blow dried my hair, putting my pajama's on again. Edward was already in bed half asleep by the time I was finished. I pulled the blankets back and hopped into the bed, bouncing as hard as I could.

Edward turned around quickly and tackled me down to the mattress. I giggled and he pressed his face against my neck.

" Some things never change, Isabella."

" You're still my best friend. I couldn't resist."

He laid half his body over mine, his face still pressed against my neck, and his right arm curled around my waist under my shirt.

" You think that it's going to be us one day?" I asked him, referring to today.

His green eyes looked up at me, " I have no doubt. You're it for me; I don't think I could ever find anybody as perfect as you are for me."

" I didn't think I would ever have this with you. I remember lying in this same bed a few years ago, hearing you tell Tanya that you loved her for the first time." I said, feeling the tears well up.

" Tanya is nothing, and you are everything. I would pick you over her any day, and you know; that was a huge reason why we broke up. She knew that you meant more to me, and that's how it will always be. You're number one."

I ran my hand through his hair, leaning forward to kiss his lips chastely. He sighed against my lips and pulled away, resting his hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

" I love you very much, Isabella Swan."

" I love you, too, Edward Cullen."

**Authors Note- Next chapter is the epilogue, which will be posted the 22nd of January ( a week from today). Leave me your thoughts, and thanks for reading!**


	56. Epilogue Part One

**Authors Note- READ ALL NOTES BELOW, READ ALL NOTES BELOW**

**Okay, some who don't keep up with me on twitter are probably a little confused on the 'Part 1'. ( I suggest you get a twitter if you can and follow me on there, link in my FF profile). I said that the next update was January 22nd, I lied. The Epilogue became way too much, and I figured I could divide it into two parts so that it won't seem as overwhelming. All of the things in here I want in the epilogue. Therefore…PART 1 AND 2 exists!**

**The last chapter (Epilogue Part Two) will be posted on January 22nd though. So that is a definite set in stone thing. THIS CHAPTER IS LONG. It still is pretty lengthy to what I normally give you guys. Twice the amount as usual, but enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

July 29th

Wednesday

2009

BPOV

Today was Edward and I's second year anniversary of being officially together. It made me ecstatic knowing that things were just as great, if not better, than they ever were. We were back in New York, but school had yet to start up.

This morning I had awoken to a note on Edward's pillow with a red rose laying over it, telling me that he went out to get me breakfast. He'd been back ten minutes later with an egg and bacon breakfast sandwich on a biscuit, no cheese, from McDonald's, and a coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Some girls would rather like French toast or an omelet, but Edward knew how much I loved those and it was perfectly enough for me.

Edward had planned on whisking me away all day, and we were going to the Museum of Science and Natural History in Manhattan. I was extremely excited, and I think Edward could sense that by the way I twirled myself around our room and the bathroom. I had put on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a silk light blue camisole, with a royal blue cardigan over it. I had on a pair of silver ballet flats, and I'd kept my hair down in curls. I put on a little bit of makeup, just a bit to highlight my features, not going to heavy.

Edward had on a pair of designer jeans, as always, and a white v-neck t-shirt with his blue and white Nike's. He was perfectly shaved, with a spray of cologne on his neck that smelled amazing, and very Edward. His hair in a disarray as always, but nobody could do anything about his out of control hair.

I closed my makeup compact and put it in my makeup bag, ready to start the day with Edward. When I got downstairs, I saw a huge bouquet of red roses. He was sitting in the living room all nonchalant while I walked towards the huge bouquet.

" Edward! These are beautiful."

He smiled and stood up, striding towards me. " I am glad you like them."

Next to them was a box of Godiva chocolates, assorted. I groaned and looked at him, smiling a huge grin at him.

" You spoil me."

" I awoke to a matching box next to my bed, along with a ring from my girlfriend. You deserve all of this."

I had in fact gotten him a sterling silver ring for our anniversary, it had been engraved on the inside, saying ' Until the end of forever', and I was glad to hear how much he loved it. Edward had it on his middle finger of his right hand. I also got him chocolate, because hell, Edward can resist a box of Godiva just as much as a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend could; true story.

I smelled the roses and he handed me a box. Inside there was a charm for my bracelet, it was an anniversary charm, in the shape of the heart and engraved on the front with, ' Two amazing years, Happy Anniversary, Beloved ', and on the back it said ' Love, Edward '. I gave him a hug and a lingering kiss, thanking him for the beautiful charm. He put it on for me, holding me in his arms for a moment.

" You look absolutely beautiful today."

" Thank you." I murmured, still breathing in his scent.

" Would you like to leave now?"

" Yes!"

Edward laughed and ushered me out of the house. We took the motorcycle, on Edward's request. He would find any chance to ride that thing in the summer. I wouldn't be surprised if he just made laps around the neighborhood for kicks.

When we arrived there, Edward gripped my hand and we walked in together. It was free admission in the summer, which was pretty awesome. I loved going to places like this, seeing all of the different things they had in here. Old airplanes, trains, and other things that were used many years ago, they even have a glass room that was like a dentist office, showing all of the old tools that were used, unlike everything they have today. It, of course, was nothing that could be touched which is why they have everything surrounded by glass so we can see most angles. These aren't things that can be found again if ruined.

They had an old ice-cream parlor, and they actually were open and selling ice-cream treats. We went through every single thing they basically had to offer around here, and Edward looked at me, an amused expression on his face as I put seventy five cents in a vending machine for a coke.

" What?"

" You just look so happy and excited."

" Because I am."

He grabbed onto my hand and pulled me close to him, " I'm glad you are happy."

" Are you happy?" I asked.

" Very."

" Then everything is perfect."

December 2nd

Wednesday

EPOV

With school already starting up again, and classes and work keeping both Bella and I busy, we didn't have very much time together besides when we got into bed to sleep at night. I knew that soon enough it wouldn't be like this, and we would have actual jobs and plenty of more time with each other.

As trivial as it sounds, I missed just sitting down to eat dinner with her. I missed sitting on the couch to watch a dumb movie that I convinced her to watch with me. The more I reminded myself this wasn't permanent; the easier it seemed to be to me. We texted sometimes between classes when we didn't have homework we wanted to get done. When we had extra time, we would go and have lunch together at Panera, or a sandwich shop somewhere.

Break was starting the Thursday after the next, and I knew that this one was definitely going to be one to remember. This year, we also decided to visit our grandparents in London, before Christmas because we promised to fly out to Chicago, so basically it was going to be kind of busy with us.

The box inside my end table drawer had been screaming at me, and I'd been looking for the right time to take it out. On the inside of that box was the perfect ring that I planned on using to ask for Bella's hand in marriage.

I'd talked with both Renee, Charlie our grandparents and hell, even my own parents, asking them for their blessing for me to ask Bella. I honestly think that Bella is not expecting anything from me this break. It was just another time off from classes to her, but it was going to be much more.

They all had given me their sincerest blessings, and that almost made me nervous. I think all of them were surer than I was. By no means was I backing out of asking Bella, I wanted to spend the rest of my life by her side, loving her, taking care of her, and being the father to our children. This choice was one that was going to seal my plans for the rest of my life, and I was ready to do that.

Our Birthdays had gone and passed, and we were already twenty one and legal to do anything we wanted now. We didn't exactly go out and get drunk, because we had more class than what most people would have done. We went out for a dinner and had a few drinks to test out the waters. Usually, we always had wine with dinner anyways when we went out; a lot of places seemed to think we were of age, which didn't have me complaining in anyway. We've been drinking wine with dinner since we were fourteen; it wasn't anything bad in our eyes to drink at that age.

Today, I had gotten home from work at six, it had been completely dead and I didn't exactly have much work to do. Maybe three or four customers in a two hour span today. Our busiest days were from Thursday to Sunday usually, and the rest were quite slow.

I had all the bills paid for everything needed, all food ordered, advertising was taken care of, and any other business was just finished off. When I had gotten home, Bella was surprisingly there, and she dancing around the kitchen in only a pair of shorts, one of my t-shirts and a pair of short white socks, the radio on and playing some kind of pop song.

I took my coat off, brushing the snow off the sleeve and putting it in the closet. Bella stopped dancing when she heard the closet door closed and she was in my arms in an instant. I wrapped my arms around her and she shivered.

" You're so cold!"

" You're so warm..Mmm, how was your day, love."

" Great, I have enchilada's in the oven for you."

I pressed my lips to hers and she sighed, melting into me. Her lips were soft on mine, gentle but firm. I set her down carefully on the floor and she walked over to the kitchen.

" You look nice today."

She laughed and opened up the oven as the timer went off.

" Okay, Edward. Kiss ass."

" I am not a kiss ass. You look cute."

" Kiss. Ass."

I rolled my eyes at her and she poured me a glass of wine, setting it down in front of me.

" Buying wine already are we?"

" I got carded today!"

" Is that exciting?"

" I was starting to think I looked old."

" Far from it." I murmured as she set the hot dish on two oven pads. She had on her fancy stripped oven mitts, and I got a kick out of them because she bought them specifically because they were green, had strips and were fuzzy inside. She claimed that the green reminded her of my eyes.

" That smells absolutely delicious."

" I hope so. It has to cool for fifteen minutes."

She came over and sat down on my lap, kissing my chin. I wrapped my arms around her slim waist, pulling her back flush against my chest.

" Excited for break?" she asked.

I smiled, " Very."

Once the Enchilada's cooled a bit, we sat down to eat and took our sweet time. Bella had told me she ordered our tickets for London, and they were from the fifteenth to the twenty first, so we were going to have a good amount of time with them. Our parents were planning on being there, but that was alright with us. We were clearly old enough to go without them.

" Can you believe it's almost 2010?"

" And next July we are on our third year of dating."

" We've still got awhile." she laughed. " But, yeah…Three years, huh?"

" Yes, and an amazing three years."

She pressed her lips to my neck and leaned into my side, her head resting in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arm around her waist and rested my cheek upon her head.

The word forever echoed in my head.

BPOV

I honestly had no idea what went on during our trip to London. It almost felt awkward, and Edward had been acting like a nervous wreck, and I have absolutely no idea why. Our grandparents sent him looks, which made him even more nervous it seemed, and Grandma Claire even pulled him aside for a 'talk' once or twice.

This had me troubled, and while I was trying to have a great time, Edward acted all fidgety. He looked at me like he wanted to say something, and ended up saying something completely different then what he seemed to want to say, and then acting all depressed about it later on. It was a very hot and cold situation, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.

I had a fun time in London though. We spent a lot of time out, and we even met up with Abigail and Allen to spend some time together in a coffee shop. We rarely talked, maybe an e-mail here and there, but we really seemed to re-connect with them and spend a lot of time together. They apparently got engaged in the summer time during August, and Allen popped the question. They were getting married next fall and were ecstatic about it.

There was a sense of jealousy inside of me, because it was like people around me were moving on and I was just...here. I would never just push the idea of marriage into Edward. That would probably scare him away, and I didn't want to do that.

I was happy for both of them though, and they were just beaming with happiness; rays of it just shooting off of them. I never thought they would ever be married, let alone take a step to be friends, but now they were getting married. They never got along as kids, and this was surprising. But they were very happy, I could see it.

We walked around London, going to places we hadn't been to in years. Edward and I went shopping, basically as gifts to each other for Christmas. I loved the designer clothes that they had here, and I didn't spend too much, but I got a few pretty blouses that I thought were cute. This year we both agreed not to go Christmas gift crazy, because we have bills and things to take care of. And that was agreed with both of us.

We spent a lot of time with our grandparents also, enjoying the time we had with them before we were off to Chicago again. Edward and I spent time in the house cooking, baking, playing card games and just having a great time with them, and besides their weird behavior, it was a great time.

Our trip was kind of cut up, we actually had to get two separate flights, because there was none from London to Chicago for three days, and therefore, we had to fly into New York, we were going to be home for about two hours, and then had our flight to Chicago.

When we were leaving and at the airport after being dropped off by Grandpa Allen, Edward looked really annoyed. We went through security and then headed to the terminal to board our flight after being given the okay to go by the attendant. We sat in our first class seats, and Edward looked even more irritated.

" What's wrong?" I asked him, reaching up to put my carry-on in the compartment above. I closed it and sat next to Edward, taking my phone out of my pocket to turn off after sending a quick text to my parents that we just got on the plane to New York.

" Nothing. I'm fine."

" You're a shit liar."

" Bella..."

" Fine. Keep whatever is bothering you to yourself."

" It's nothing, beloved. I promise." he murmured.

It's already eight twenty seven at night, and it was an overnight flight obviously. We would be landing at approximately six fifteen, six thirty in the morning if it were on same time, but it will actually be one fifteen one thirty when land in New York. Our seats were reclined back, and I quickly grabbed my quilt and got the requested pillow from the attendant. Edward sighed loudly when I turned away with my back to him, but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, and that upset me.

I laid my head on the plush pillow and sighed, the area around us going dim and quiet. I pulled my quilt around me and felt Edward push the armrest up. The seats were combined together; with a cup holder/arm rest in the middle to separate the seats. I felt his body behind mine and his head on my pillow.

" I love you."

" You, too." I said begrudgingly.

" This is uncomfortable."

" Stay on your side then."

" Nope."

" Then no complaining."

I slept through a lot of the flight, completely exhausted and drained from the trip. Edward at one point had taken me in his arms and I slept on his chest, completely at ease in his arms. His fingers ran through my hair and his hands gently rubbing my back to help me sleep better on the plane.

I'm usually one of those people, who can sleep absolutely anywhere basically with a pillow, but with a plane it was a little bit harder and Edward helped me stay calm to sleep. I enjoyed laying in his arms for long periods of time, he was hard and muscular, but soft at the same time.

Eventually, I heard the voice over the intercom say we were landing soon and to be in our seats. I left Edward reluctantly and the attendant took the pillows and anything else needed. I folded my blanket up and put it back, ready to get off the plane. The time difference throwing me off, it felt really early in the morning to me.

When the plane landed, Edward and I walked off together and into the airport we went. We were getting a cab back to the apartment, and right now we just needed to get our bags from baggage claim. Edward and I walked around the airport, it wasn't too busy or crowded to get around, and we got our bags quickly.

We got into a cab and gave the elderly lady the address before sitting back in our seats. Edward was quiet, but he held my hand the entire time during the car ride and let me lean against him. When we arrived at the apartment, we grabbed our things from the trunk, paid our money and headed up the stairs.

I unlocked the front door with fumbling fingers and walked in, smelling the familiar scent of home. I set my things down, stretching my arms above my head. I was really tired of sitting at this point, I almost wanted to go upstairs to lay down and sleep.

Edward stepped through the door and bent down to set his bag down on the ground. Suddenly a box fell out of his jacket pocket, clattering onto the hard floor. I bent down to pick it up and noticed that it was black velvet, a square box, and clearly for jewelry. It couldn't be mistaken for anything else

" Fuck...Bella..."

Edward looked panicked, and I held the velvet box in my hands, wanting to know what the hell was going on right now. The look on his face clearly stated that I wasn't meant to see this, but it fell out of his pocket, what was I supposed to do? Not say anything? Hell no. And I couldn't hand it back to him with no questions.

Why did Edward have a velvet box in his pocket?

Before he could do anything, I opened up the box and saw a ring nestled in the satin. It was a white gold band with a princess cut diamond front and center with two smaller square diamonds on either side imbedded into the band. The diamond shined even in the dull light of the house, the sun not making an appearance at all today. The ring was absolutely gorgeous, breath-taking even.

" E-Edward?" I said, looking up at him.

Was this an engagement ring? Was this what had been bothering him the entire trip?

" I didn't plan for it to happen like this. At all." Edward started, taking the box from me, " I wanted the moment to be perfect. But I don't think we've ever been traditional anyways. This ring has been burning holes in my pocket, waiting for me to finally say something about it. I was going to wait until we got to Chicago, and ask you in front of everybody...taking you completely off guard."

I covered my hand with my mouth as Edward knelt down in front of me on one knee, taking his right hand in my left.

" Isabella Marie Swan, you are my best friend, you are my love, and the women that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will you please do me the extraordinary honor by accepting my hand in marriage and becoming my wife?"

This was the moment that I'd been dreaming of since I was just a young teenager. A moment I never thought would come, but it was right here. This beautiful man wanted me. My best friend; the one person I dreamt of sharing this moment with, but never thought it would happen.

" Yes, Edward."

I felt his hand take mine and gently place the ring on my ring finger. His lips gently kissed over the ring and he stood up, taking me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the sheer joy in my bones and down to my very core.

" I love you, so much, Isabella."

" I love you...God, I love you so much."

He pressed his lips against mine in an intimate kiss and I heard my cell phone going off. Edward reached inside my pocket and threw it on the couch, to which he proceeded to push me onto and straddle my waist. His teeth grazed my neck until he leaned up and caught his lips with mine again.

" I don't want to let you go." I murmured, hooking my fingers into his belt loops and holding him to me.

" Then don't."

" We have to re-pack, babe. Do a few loads of laundry."

" It can wait an hour." he whispered, dipping down to kiss my lips.

I let myself melt into the couch, and Edward held his body up not to crush me. I slid my arms around his neck, hearing my cell phone go off once more. Edward gripped me a bit tighter, one arm wrapping around my waist, and the other bracing him against the couch to hold him up. I sighed into his mouth, pushing against him. Our positions switched and I sat on his stomach, leaning down to press my forehead against his. His hands cradled both sides of my face, and he stared deep into my eyes.

" Do we have to go?" I whispered, closing my eyes.

" Yes, beloved."

" I want to stay here with you."

" Oh, now you want to stay here."

I smiled and pushed his shoulder, resting my head on his chest. His fingers ran through my hair and I sighed, relaxing against him further and closing my eyes.

" I want to, too, but we have family to see. Most of them who are expecting me to make a move I've already made without anybody watching."

Edward brought us into a sitting position, and we leaned against the back of the couch, making out for a good twenty minutes before we parted to get shit together. I didn't want to leave his side. My body just naturally didn't want to.

I was able to get three quick washes in, and Edward took care of packing our clothes. I trusted him not to put revealing clothes in my bag. Although I did have a nice wardrobe, like any girl I had a few mini-dresses, skirts, tank tops and low tops ( that Edward would probably 'accidentally' forget to put tank tops with). When I got upstairs with a basket to fold our clothes, Edward was holding a pair of heels and stuffing them into my bag. I looked at him and he gave me a bright smile.

" What do you have in there?" I asked him.

" Nothing my beautiful fiancée."

My heart jumped almost out of my throat, and my sixteen/seventeen year old self was screaming on the inside, unable to believe what was going on right now. I felt like this was a dream, and I couldn't wake up.

I didn't want to.

" That was nice to say." Edward noted.

I smiled to myself. " I've been waiting forever for you to realize that you belong with me."

" I was a blind, very blind."

With a laugh I tossed Edward one of his white t-shirts I knew he would need. He caught it and set it back in the bag.

" Things are going to be great from here, I promise." he said, leaning over the bed to give me a kiss.

April 9th

Friday

" JESUS FUCK, EDWARD! How could you do this! Oh my god. Why in the hell aren't you at the hospital right now? You should have called me or something, we could have gone."

" Iz," Edward started out as he collapsed on the couch breathlessly

" Don't ' Iz' me, and when in the hell did that name come back! You know what, whatever."

" I couldn't make it that far. One block was enough, and stop yelling at me!"

" Edward, the wedding is in two months! What if you... FUCK! I need to call Alice!"

" Can you please get me Tylenol, water and an icepack."

I groaned loudly and stood up, pacing back and forth in frustration. Edward's moan brought me out of my reverie and I went to the kitchen, still seething from his stupidity. I clearly told him no, but of course he never listens to me! He never listens to me!

It's April, and it's been raining a lot. Well this morning, the roads were wet, but the sun peeked out a bit and Edward wanted to ride his motorcycle to the store, but I told him it was not a great idea and that he could get hurt. Now I've got a bruised fiancée laying on the couch moaning in pain from taking a sharp turn and the motorcycle slid and went up a curb and knocked Edward right off. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and a bottle of Tylenol from the cabinet, along with the requested icepack and went to him. I set the icepack on his knee, where he said it felt like he pulled something. He groaned when I set it down and I groaned with him.

" Why, Edward. Why don't you listen to me?"

" Because I like being a rebel."

" I'm calling Carlisle."

" Bella..."

" I am, don't argue with me anymore. We both obviously know that you were wrong about this! I am not trying to be all right, but the roads were wet and you knew it."

I grabbed my phone and dialed Carlisle's number. I told him everything that had happened and he said that it did sound like Edward pulled a muscle in his leg, but that he probably didn't need to go to the hospital as long as he didn't hit his head or feel like anything was broken. He was definitely bruising, purple and blue blossoming over the skin of his pale arms.

He would have to rest for awhile, and luckily we were on a spring break that started two days ago, so he has eight days to get his ass better. I was really upset at him for being so careless. He couldn't do this to me, because next time he could hurt himself even worse. I hated seeing him in pain.

I called Alice, apologizing for hanging up on her and explaining what happened. We'd been going over things for the wedding a lot recently, wanting to get things set up perfectly. Edward and I set a date for June 20th, and this was all him. I had no idea he wanted it to be so soon, but it wasn't that bad. I had six months to pull it together, and with the help of Alice it was going to be great.

We were both keeping everything simple; a black and white set-up, with a splash of red here and there that we had planned out. I made sure that Edward had an equal say as I did, this wedding wasn't just about me.

As we were raised, we were getting married in a church, and we even decided to take an extra step and decided to get married in Chicago. We had a long discussion over this, and originally, we wanted to wed in London, but we knew it would be easier to have our grandparents fly out, then all of our friends here. Since it would be break, Edward and I would be able to spend the summer on our honeymoon, if we even wanted to spend a month or two away.

Edward had been keeping our destination a complete and utter secret, not saying a word.

On top of having our original group, I had invited Angela, Ben, Abigail and Allen. I knew that we also had old friends from high school invited. I even invited Luke, much to Edward's dismay, but I hadn't seen or talked to him, and I wanted to offer to be out there. Their invitation also extended an offer to a guest to come with them, but they had to be known when we got their RSVP.

As far as I knew, everyone who was invited was going to be there. We had our caterer all set up, decorations ordered and being sent to the Cullen's. Esme and my mom were setting up the wedding, they were both interior designers, and I knew they could deck it out.

The ceremony was taking place at a cathedral church in downtown Chicago in a very nice area, and then we were having the reception in both of our yards, extending all across both ways. I was really excited to have all of it falling into place perfectly, and I knew that Esme and my mom would do a dynamite job, even if they didn't exactly specialize in outdoor decorating. They still had taste.

Flowers were ordered, along with table pieces that were being set up in the back. Everything was very classy and simple, just like Edward and I. That was exactly what we wanted.

Two months ago I had gone wedding dress shopping downtown here in New York. Esme, my mom and Alice had all flown out here to help me and we had even went as far to go to Kleinfeld and find a dress. My mother and father were paying for the dress, and all of our parents and grandparents were helping out with wedding expenses.

I had found a beautiful Panina Tornai dress that was on sale for just below five thousand dollars. The amount almost gave me a stroke, but the way I felt in the dress was amazing. It was a strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline, almost a v-neck but not quite.

It was like lace on the bodice, and it was fitted until it flared out at my hip. There was one sheet of thin, soft tool that had little almost flower like appliqués on it. Around the waist is a satin ribbon, wrapping around the front and back, and around the front again with a weeping bow at my hip. The dress was absolutely beautiful; I couldn't have found a better one to walk down the aisle in.

I was broken out of my reverie when Edward had shifted on the couch and let out a grunt. I went to him quickly and grabbed his arm, regretting it instantly because he yelled out in pain. His pale arms were covered in bruises.

" Edward, my god."

" I am such an idiot."

" Let me help you out of some of the clothes. They're all dirty."

I took his shoes off, his jacket and shirt because it was wet from the ground he landed on. I helped him get his jeans off carefully, and I saw that his right thigh was banged up, along with his right knee that he pulled a muscle with. When I moved the jeans down his leg he was clenching his jaw and I tried my best not to hurt him.

I put his wet clothes in the dirty clothes basket and grabbed a blanket and pillow for him, situating him as comfortably as I could. I lay on the other side of the couch, resting my head on the pillow to share with him. I reached my arm around and clasped his hand with mine.

" You can't do this to me, Edward, or to yourself." I murmured.

" Do what?"

" Be careless. Hell! What happens if we ever have a kid? I'm not going to have you get hurt until you kill yourself."

" Bella, it was one stupid, careless mistake."

" Well, next time I won't take care of you when you are in the damn hospital!" I exclaimed, standing up from the couch and heading upstairs.

" GET OVER HERE, BELLA!" I heard Edward shout.

" I'm not five!"

" I will get up those damn stairs."

I sat on the bed, letting out a deep sigh. Suddenly I heard Edward descend the stairs slowly until he was in front of me, taking my hands off my face and sitting next to me with a deep sigh. I felt his arms wrap around me, and I knew he was in pain doing this but he said nothing. I launched myself into his arms and wrapped my arms around him.

" When you're hurt, so am I. I need you in one piece, promise me you will be careful on that thing. Please, Edward. I don't want you to get hurt; I don't know what the hell I would do if something ever happened to you."

He laid back on the bed and I lay next to him.

" I promise to be more careful."

Edward gently massaged my back, and I let out a deep sigh. My phone then went off and Edward gripped me, groaning when he tightened his arm too much.

" Don't get up."

" I have to. It could be about the wedding. I'm sorry." I murmured, sitting up and answering my phone.

" Hello."

" Bella! I just got off the phone with the caterer. I made an appointment for final tastings for May 18th. Is that workable for you?"

" Definitely."

Edward and I were taking a leave of absence from work this summer, and after this we were going to keep up our job until next summer and then we were moving back to Chicago. This November Edward is going to be sending out applications for Law Schools down in Chicago, and we were going to spend next summer looking for a place to live and settling in

Both of our bosses knew that we were leaving in June, and they were very well aware. We made sure to sit down with them and talk about it, because we didn't want to just leave them last minute, especially Edward being manager at the restaurant.

" Okay, girl. I'll talk to you later. Take care of that boy."

" I will. And thank you so much for all of this. I appreciate it so much, Al."

" It's my duty as maid of honor! Love you!"

" You, too!"

We hung up and I set my phone down, looking at Edward. " May 18th, final tasting for food."

" Can't we go cake tasting again, that was fuck-awesome."

I laughed at him, " I know it was. Now, will you be alright for two hours? I want to head to the gym and get in at least an hour."

" Why?"

" To fit my dress, babe. I won't be long I promise."

" Fit your dress? Bella, you look amazing."

" My last fitting it was just a tad tight, and I could trim up a bit. It's fine. I'll be back soon."

I situated Edward upstairs and headed to the gym. I figured that I could do the treadmill for awhile, and the stair stepper. I knew that Edward thinks I look absolutely perfect, and I know I am clearly not overweight, but I could lose five pounds to fit my dress. I wanted to look good for the wedding, and the night of our wedding.

Edward and I decided to wait until our honeymoon to do anything. The interruptions were always coming up, especially with planning our own wedding, and we were getting annoyed with them. We just figured to go with it. We've only had sex four times, which isn't a big deal. It's been over a damn year, almost two, I think we can deal.

When I got to Cardinal Fitness, I walked inside and showed the guy my membership card. Both Edward and I had one; he went at nights when he had time, or on weekends. Sometimes we even went together, but Edward lifted a lot of weights I knew, wanting to keep the strength in his arms as they were in high school. He made it very obvious that he was also sporting a nice six pack. Edward has never been ripped, but I am glad he's never taken it that far. I find it at some points disgusting, but Edward is perfect.

I got to running on the treadmill and enjoyed jogging for forty five minutes, my iPod on shuffle going through all of the songs I had on there. It was just what I needed, and I felt good. I stopped for a ten minute break and nursed on my water bottle before heading to the stair stepper.

It was hard to believe that I was actually getting married, and to Edward at that. This had been a complete and total dream, and I honestly never thought this would ever happen. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him, and that made me feel good.

I had invited Rosalie to the wedding, and even gave her the offer of bridesmaid, but she didn't accept it, in fact, she didn't even respond to it when I gave out the offer. I was okay with this, she could make her own decision, and while I felt bad about it, this was all of her doing and Rosalie was in charge of herself. From what I know from Alice; Rosalie and Emmett have kind of been on the rocks with their relationship.

She has been hanging out with Tanya a lot, and we all know that's why her mood has been like it is. She was never like this before Tanya started to come around more. I know that Emmett refused to be around Rosalie and Tanya at the same time, because apparently that's when Rosalie's at her worst attitude wise. I don't even want to know the shit they've probably said about Edward and I getting married.

When I had hit almost a two hour mark of being here, I quickly got off and headed back home, but not before stopping to pick up some Chinese for an early dinner. When I got back to the apartment, I grabbed forks and headed upstairs. When I got to the bedroom I saw Edward sleeping in the bed, his chest slowly rising and falling. Slowly I walked over to the bed and took a seat on the bed, setting the food down on my end table.

I leaned over and kissed Edward softly on his forehead, gently rubbing his arm. He moved over and groaned, sinking deeper in to the mattress.

" I brought Chinese home. Is that alright?"

" Yeah, it's fine, love. I don't expect home cooking every night." he murmured.

I grabbed the remote and flipped on LA Ink while I grabbed food. We shared everything, the shrimp fried rice, sweet and sour chicken with the pineapple sauce only, and the beef and broccoli. Edward and I have very similar taste in food, so usually I don't have to worry about making something I like and not knowing if he will like it.

When we finished with dinner I tossed everything out downstairs and headed back up. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and lotioned up my legs, changing into one of my nighties, a light pink one this time with spaghetti straps, and a v-neck lined with cream colored lace and a tiny bow, and also lace on the bottom hem.

When I walked into the bedroom, Edward was sitting himself up. I went to his side and he stretched his arms out. They were all splotched with purple, with just a few patches of his pale skin showing.

" You look like you were hit by a train." I murmured, grabbing his face.

He didn't hurt his face, he had a slight bruise on his jaw but he looked alright.

" Thanks, what a great compliment."

I rolled my eyes and he went to the bathroom to shower. He said I could help him, but we both knew he didn't need my help. Instead I climbed into bed and laid down watching television, waiting for him to come back.

He was in the shower for a good fifteen minutes, and I heard him brush his teeth also. Edward came out in his towel and grabbed a pair of boxers from his drawer. He put them on quickly and put the towel in the hamper before standing over by my side of the bed. He had bruises on his ribs and a bad one on his right hip. I also saw one on his shoulder.

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist. I kissed the bruise on his hip and the ones over his ribs before resting my head on his stomach. His fingers ran through my hair and sighed quietly, moving over me and planting legs on either side of me, careful of his knee. His legs had a few scattered bruises, but his arms were the worst of the bruises.

He laid down and I rested my head on his chest. I felt his hand on my back, gently rubbing.

" This little outfit is driving me crazy."

I leaned up and pressed my lips against his, moving them slowly and sensually together.

" I thought it would." I whispered.

" You don't play fair."

I giggled quietly into his neck and he kissed the top of my head. Suddenly I shifted in his arms and he let out a small yelp when I pressed my weight too much into him.

" Oh, fuck that hurt."

" I'm sorry." I murmured, moving away from him to the other side of the bed.

He spooned me from behind and rested his forehead against the back of my neck, resting one of his bruised arms over my waist. I held his hand and braided my fingers through his. I yawned and used my free hand to grab the remote, turning the television off so that it would be quiet. It was only like seven thirty, but the room was dark and I was exhausted for some odd reason. I think Edward's sleepiness rubbed off on me a little bit and made me tired.

I heard him quietly whisper his love for me in my ear before he fell silent.

May 18th

" There you guys are!" I heard Alice say, skittering over to me with her blackberry in hand.

" Sorry we are late, Alice. This crazy woman took forever curling her hair." Edward replied

I narrowed my eyes at Edward, " What are you talking about! I found you ironing your shirt after I was finished getting ready. You were trying to seduce me after that also, Mr. Cullen."

Alice rolled her eyes. " Enough of that. Now let's go! The meals are ready."

Edward and I had a lot of meals to serve, some of them with alternatives.

Our first dish is basically a light melon soup, which is damn tasty. It's like a smoothie served in a bowl, that was optional and could have an alternative of a tomato soup with lemon and rosemary. It was up to the guests completely.

The next dish was a salad, and we were sure we didn't need an alternative for that one. The salad had a mixture of romaine lettuce and butter lettuce. Almost everything in it was grilled, the avocado, corn, shrimp, zucchini and tomatoes. The dressing was lemon and balsamic vinegar, very simple and light. It was a lot like a chopped salad, everything in it bite-sized.

Our main course is a filet mignon with a mushroom garlic mixture topped on it (mushrooms optional), and that was with fried potato chunks with a thyme seasoning in it that is divine, with that is mixture of steamed veggies. The other dish from the main to pick from it is a halibut which is roasted with lemon and garlic, it's on a bed of arugula and is also plated with an orzo stuffed pepper, which not also has the orzo, but melted parmesan and roasted eggplant mixed in with it.

All of the dishes Edward and I picked ourselves, and we love all of them, they match and taste delicious.

The drinks were a choice of red or white wine. We also had water, ginger ale or raspberry lemonade. We wanted the guests to have a choice of anything. Not everyone is a wine fan, so we picked out just a few other drinks.

We sat down at a table in a very open room. Glass walls all around and open scenery outside. There was a golf course in the area behind, and we could clearly see people playing. Alice wasn't taste testing, but she was here just for help.

The chef came out, introducing himself as Chef Mark Peppers. We had basically done everything over phone these past few times, and we were meeting for the first time. Edward and I shook hands with him and took our seat.

First the salad came out; we both just shared the serving, only taking a few bites. I grabbed my fork and took a bite, fighting a moan when the flavors hit my tongue. Everything pulled together and tasted so good. The flavors were like an explosion in my mouth.

" This is...amazing." I said, looking over at Edward.

" Very well put together, I like all of the flavors, definitely a keeper. Maybe a little less spice, I want to keep it fresher."

Chef Mark nodded, keeping that in mind and then the Halibut with the orzo stuffed pepper was next. I noticed that the halibut had lemon slices, and fennel on it with some crisped pancetta. It actually looked really good with the added things. I got a bit of everything on my fork, along with the arugula on the bottom and took a bite.

This was absolutely divine, and I loved everything. The pancetta was a really great addition to it, and the fennel gave a unique taste to the meal. Edward really liked this one, usually he is hesitant about fish, but he seemed to like it. Edward cut the pepper up for us and I took a bit. Damn it was really, really good.

" I love the eggplant, and with the parmesan cheese. This is delicious. The pepper is tender, but still has that good crunch. Great job, it's absolutely superb."

Next we tasted the filet mignon with the thyme roasted potato chunks and the steamed vegetables. The vegetables had just a hint of a butter glaze, which made them not just shiny just really tasty. The filet mignon was cooked perfectly, cooked to a medium rare, but it wasn't too rare like I know some people take it as literally mostly rare. Edward almost dived face first into it.

" I really, really like the potatoes." Edward noted, " The filet is perfect, vegetables still have a crunch. No changes need to be made. The mushrooms on the filet are really good, not too much garlic or butter. Great dish."

Next we had the soups. He brought out a small bowl of the melon soup and I eagerly took a taste of that. I loved this stuff; I would put it in a cup and drink it all day. I knew Edward liked melon a lot, and this was right up his alley. I really liked it. While the chef left to get the other soup out, Edward leaned back.

" I know you like melon smoothies. I thought you'd really like that."

" I like other melon's too, ya know."

For a moment I was confused, and then I looked at him, slapping his arm and crossing my arms over my chest. It was so like him to make a sexual comment here. Alice rolled her eyes at him.

" Wow, Edward."

He leaned over and kissed the side of my neck, gently scraping his teeth against my flesh. I pulled away from him and the chef came out with the other soup. This one was also really tasty, and gave a sense of warmth.

After giving our thanks to the chef and securing date and time, we were off. Edward sat in the driver's seat, leaning back with his hand on his stomach at a red light.

" That was an amazing lunch."

I smiled, " Is everything good? Are you happy with the choices?"

He looked at me, " Bella, don't worry so much about me being happy. I am. Everything was perfect."

" It's just...I see those girls who are; I want this, and I want that. And they forget that's it's not just about them. I want it all to be fair. Your input means the world to me, Edward."

" And I appreciate that so much. I am perfectly great with how it's pulling together, don't worry...Nutter."

" I am not a nutter."

" Ya kind of are a nutter."

" What if I called you a nutter, or a hob knocker? How'd you like that?"

" I'd say I think you're cute when you say hob knocker in your little accent."

" You say it the same way! And cute?"

" Okay, you're sexy. Is that better, love?"

I rested my hand on his leg and laughed. He rested his hand over mine and pulled into the driveway of his house. We both got out of the car and Edward opened up the front door, letting me in first. He smacked my backside and I jumped forward in surprise. I glared back at him and he winked, shutting the door. I turned around and tackled him to the door, wrapping my legs around his waist.

" You got me so what are you going to do with me?"

I smiled and leaned forward to press my lips to his.

I heard a throat clear behind me and Edward lowered me down to the ground. I stood firmly on my feet and saw Esme standing there with a grin on her face.

" Not home alone today, kids." she stated.

" Of course not, mom."

" If you plan on taking that further make sure to lock the door and put music on."

" Oh my...I'm kind of hungry, would anybody like something for lunch. I'll cook." I said, changing the subject.

" I have food made. And don't be shy, sweetheart. It's clear you and Edward are active."

" Mom, can we not talk about...that."

" It's okay, sweetie."

" Of course it is." He said with an eye roll, " Come now, Isabella darling." Edward said, taking my hand and leading me towards the kitchen.

I laughed at him, " Isabella darling?"

" Go with it."

He drew me to him and kissed my forehead sweetly. I leaned into him and smiled against his chest, feeling genuinely happy at that moment in his arms.

June 20th

" I'm going to be sick." I gasped with my head down facing my legs and my hands in my hair.

" Isabella, focus. It's alright, sweetheart. You won't be sick, just take a deep breath." my mother murmured to me, wrapping her arm around my waist.

I took a deep breath. " Someone get me my phone, please."

Esme reached for my bag and grabbed my phone out of my purse. I took it from her and clicked the '2' button on my phone. I clicked call and heard it ring three times before it was answered. My hands were shaking, and I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my entire life than I was right now.

I was marrying the love of my life. The man I have wanted to marry since I was a mere kid. This day was monumental in my life.

And I was about to visit the porcelain god in a minute if I didn't calm myself down enough to focus.

" Hey, why are you calling? Everything alright?"

I stood up and went to the bathroom, closing the locking the door firmly behind me. I think them staring wasn't making anything any better for me. Quietly, I sat down on the counter and hooked my ankles together, leaning against the mirror.

" I feel like I am going to throw up. I need you to tell me that everything is going to be amazing, and that you love me and nothing bad will happen today. Tell me everything I want to hear, please."

" Bella, my Bella, everything is going to be perfect today. I am going to be waiting for you at the end of that aisle, and we will say our vows in front of everyone that we love and care about. Nobody is going to disturb our perfect day; it will be all about us my beautiful girl. I love you very much; there is absolutely nobody else that I could ever want to be with like this. And today we are going to tie each other together in every way humanly possible, and I will be yours forever."

I took a deep breath once again and felt relief flooding my body.

" I love you, too." I whispered.

" On a funny note, I have my pants around my ankles."

" What are you doing with your pants around your ankles?"

" I was in the middle of zipping up when you called. I didn't expect it and I thought something happened."

" Fiancée dead on the day of getting married, that'd be awful."

" I'd be right after you, love."

" Don't say that."

" I've said it before; I will never live in a world that you don't exist in. It would be the worst torture in the world. I'd rather have somebody eat me alive."

" This is not something we should be talking about today."

" I know. So, how about you put on that beautiful dress, and meet me at four. I'll be the one waiting at the end of the aisle for you, looking gorgeous."

" I bet you will be."

" Are you okay now?"

" Yes, thank you. I'm sorry for this; I just needed to hear your voice."

" Don't apologize. I'll see you later, okay? I love you."

" I love you, too. Bye"

" Bye."

After the call with Edward I felt confident and perfectly alright. It was two now, and we really had to get going and getting ready. I was at the Cullen's, getting ready in Edward's room, or our room as it has been for the past few months when we come visit. I got out of the bathroom and took a seat on the perfectly made bed.

" I'm fine now. Let's get started." I said.

I'd already brushed my teeth and washed my face clear of any makeup, so we luckily could just get right to work.

Alice clapped her hands together and bounced towards me, taking me by my hands and leading me back towards the bathroom, beaming with happiness. She had set up a stool in the bathroom and I sat down on it.

I was doing my own makeup, which I didn't have a problem with. I knew what I wanted to do with my eyes, and I would let Alice do the rest for me. She offered to do my other makeup, and I let her because she wanted to have her fun, too.

My eyes were all silver, lighter silver, lined with black eyeliner, thin, so that I didn't look goth on my own wedding day. Usually I go with darker, but I wanted to keep it somewhat light for today. The silver sparkled a little bit, but it wasn't obnoxious or anything that would draw too much attention. I had Alice do my eyeliner for me, and she did a bit of foundation on my face also to even my complexion out.

I had Esme do my hair. She was really great with styling hair, and she did mine every since I was a kid. She did it for dances at school or any events that required looking nice. And she worked well with my long hair, which at this point it was at the middle of my back. I'd cut it, but I knew that Edward would just about have a heart attack if I cut more than two inches. He loved my hair, and always found an excuse to run his fingers through it.

Esme had the curling iron heated up and she got to curling my mass of hair. Alice had unzipped my dress from the bag, and that had been a bitch to take with me on the plane. Luckily, it did not get wrinkled. She set it over the bed and smoothed it out. My mother just about had a heart attack looking at the dress, she'd seen it before but up close it's perfect. Flawless.

" I'd like to present you with your something old. This is your grandmother Elizabeth's. Last night she told me that she wanted me to give it to you." my mother stated, coming into the bathroom and handing it to me.

In my hands was a hair broach. It was incrusted with ruby diamonds and tiny pearls and was absolutely beautiful. It ironically matched with the wedding colors; it was that splash of red in my completed outfit. I was honored to be able to have it and I loved it.

My hair was going to be pinned half up, and Esme said she could put it in my hair somehow.

Alice had given me my something new, and something blue, which is a brand new garter that she had bought for me, a wedding gift. It's white lace with a blue ribbon that ties off into a bow. It's really fancy looking, and I thanked her profusely for it. I was happy to have it as my own.

" Look at the ribbon." she said.

In black lettering, it was sewn on to say, " Edward and Isabella, June 20, 2010. Forever and Always."

I covered my hand with my mouth, " Alice..."

" I know, you love me and all that. You are so welcome."

I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a tight hug. She went above and beyond for me, and I appreciated it so much. Alice deserved a damn medal for all that she's done for me. She had said that it was her repaying me for everything I helped her with in her wedding.

Once Esme finished curling my hair, she pinned half of my hair up, giving it just a slight bump so it wouldn't look flat. Once she had finished with that, she curled a few loose pieces in front of my face and sprayed on some hairspray to make my hair maintain the style. It looked great, Esme did an amazing job. She had put the broach in, sliding it closer to the side. With about an hour left, we really had to get going.

Both Esme and Renee were dressed; Esme had on a nice black pencil skirt with a silk cream blouse and a pair of black heels. Her hair is curled and makeup light, as always she keeps her makeup just enough to highlight her features.

My mom had on a pair of black dress pants and a red blouse with a pair of white heels. It was like her to make herself match the colors. The outfit pulled together well and she had her short hair curled. No makeup, because my mom hates bother with that 'junk'.

Alice had on a strapless red dress that hits just above her knee's, form fitting to her waist and flows from then down. Her bouquet is all white roses; mine a mixture of both white and red roses with a beautiful concealer over the handle on the bouquet. Its lace, very much like Alice's has been, with black appliquéd swirl designs on it and crystal beads.

I had changed into a robe and put the garter on myself. I decided to put my shoes on first, not wanting to have to bend over and put them on with the dress. Last Friday us ladies had gone for a spa day and got our nails and feet done, and I was forced into waxing. Alice did it too to make me feel better, but this was the fourth time she dragged me into Brazilian torture, the little pixie.

I had my toenails painted a bright red and it had white little flowers designed on them too. My fingernails just had a French manicure. Simple and nice looking and we all had a fun time there. I know that I enjoyed it immensely, girl time was needed every once in awhile.

My shoes are white sling back peep-toe heels, probably a good four inches high and over the top it had a bow on it, looking like it draped over. They were really cute, I loved them immediately upon seeing them.

The choice of undergarments was actually something I put thought into.

Edward had a very strong love for midnight blue. He very specifically enjoyed seeing that color on my skin and made it very evident. On a trip to Victoria's Secret, I had found a dark midnight blue bra and panty set. The underwear I will admit is just a little skimpy, but it covers what it needs to, and it is all lace, and they tie on both sides with satin ribbons. The bra is the same color, strapless and satin with a matching lace over the cups. I hadn't told anybody what I had on, even if Alice did pester me. I changed into it and put my shoes on, tying my satin robe back on around me and walking out.

" Whoa, we should take pictures with you in just that. Edward would probably double over." Alice said with a whistle.

I rolled my eyes and looked around the room. " Where's my mom?"

" Oh, she had to run over to help Charlie with his suit. I swear, he's just as nervous as you walking you down the aisle."

Originally, as a sign of respect, Edward was going to ask my father to be best man. We both knew that he wouldn't dare do it though, and that it would be kind of weird. Of course, Carlisle was standing up in the wedding. Carlisle is, very obviously, Edward's father, but also a great part of my life growing up. He spent so much time with me as a kid, and even taught me how to read books.

He deserved the title as best man and he would be walking with Alice down the aisle.

Esme and I went into the bathroom with my dress, and she helped me slip into it. I had put it mostly on; she understood my modesty of other people seeing me in my underwear. I held the front of the dress to my chest, and after Esme had zipped it up, she started with the pearl buttons, and there were a good twenty.

" I've known that you would marry Edward since you were just a little kid."

" Really? Why?"

" I know that you both had always been put together on purpose, but there was always something about the way he treated you; like you were the most fragile thing on earth and the most important. You have always been the center of his Earth. Edward probably wouldn't be the man he is today if he didn't spend time with you or grown up with you. He has this sense of gentleness and care that I think you've given him. When you were just little ones, I swear when one of you got hurt, it was like the other was heartbroken. You were both always so precious, you still are. I know you've gotten older now, experienced life, but you both still have that same relationship in certain ways."

When she finished with the buttons, I smoothed out my dress and examined myself in the mirror. The dress fit my figure perfectly, and I looked at myself and thought that I looked beautiful. The very first time, and the girl in the mirror staring back at me was beautiful.

" You look gorgeous, sweetheart."

I turned around and wrapped my arms tightly around Esme.

" Thank you so much. You've been as much as a mother as my own, and I can't ever repay you for what you've done for me. I love you and Carlisle like second parents; you both mean so much to me."

Esme hugged me back tightly. " Oh, Bella. We love you, too, so much. It's meant to be, you being officially part of the family. You have always been like our daughter; nobody could take your place as to who you are in our life."

I wiped my tears and made a touchup to my mascara. My mother came back with my father, who was holding a long velvet box.

" Edward wanted me to deliver this to you." he said, handing me the box.

" You look great, dad."

" Monkey suit." he muttered.

I laughed.

" You look beautiful." my mother said, wrapping her arm around my waist.

With a smile I opened up the box and saw a necklace inside. There was a white gold chain with a white gold heart attached to it. Engraved right in the middle was:

_Isabella and Edward_

_June 20th_

_2010_

And in the middle on the back was:

_I promise to love you_

_every single day_

_of forever._

_-E_

I smiled, touching the necklace softly. It was perfect.

I had my mother clasp it on my neck for me and Esme was suddenly in back of me, putting my veil on for me. She had secured it in perfectly and then Alice handed me my bouquet, bouncing up and down in happiness, wearing three inch heels, which was pure talent.

" We've got to get going! Let's go!"

When we got downstairs all of us got into the limo. Our grandparents were already at the church, and I think that they were also with Abigail and Allen if I wasn't mistaken. My dress didn't take up too much space in the limo, which I was glad for. Everyone was comfortably seated and we were off.

Then it suddenly hit me, like a slap in the face.

" Holy shit. I'm getting married to _Edward_."

" I was waiting for it to hit her!" Alice said with a laugh

My mom laughed as did Esme. " Yes you are."

" I mean here I am, years and years later. Sixteen years old never in a million years thinking that this day would happen, and now it's here and I...Christ." I rambled out in a rush.

Alice set her hand on my arm. " Don't freak out, Bella. It's all okay."

I felt the nervous butterflies in my stomach, but I'd also never felt so excited and happy in my entire life at this moment, knowing that I was going to be married to Edward. My Edward.

**Authors Note- Hope you liked it, Part Two on Saturday! Let me know what you think and just leave a review, it means a lot to me!**


	57. Epilogue Part Two

**Authors Note- Okay, this is part two. REALLY, REALLY LONG! AND PLENTY OF TIME JUMPING!**

**READ ALL END NOTES PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

When we arrived at the church, Esme and my mother had gone inside to get seated and also make sure that everyone else was settled in. I gave them both a hug, and my mom wished me luck with everything, giving me a kiss on the cheek for extra luck. Edward and I would be taking the limo back to the Cullen's after the ceremony, and everyone had a secure ride back there so Edward and I could have that twenty minutes alone.

Alice handed me a tube of her clear lip gloss. I applied just a little bit to my lips and gave it back to her, thanking her for letting me use it. My father stood with me outside, and he pulled me aside for a short moment to talk. We were in a room between the outside and the church. Right behind those doors all of the excitement was happening.

" I want you to know that just because my little girl is getting married, it doesn't mean that you won't ever need me."

I wrapped my arms around my dad and he gently hugged me, not wanting to wrinkle my dress.

" I'll always need you, dad. Everything will be like it has been. I mean, when we move back here we'll probably find our own home, but nothing will change. I love you, dad."

" You, too, sweetie."

He kissed my forehead and I leaned against him, smiling.

I felt the nerves settling in, but Alice kept me talking for a short while, telling me that there was no reason to be nervous, and that today was going to be all perfect. Soon enough Carlisle appeared out of nowhere and gave me a hug, catching me completely off guard.

" That boy is all flustered in there, but he's happier than I've ever seen him."

I smiled and pulled away from him, " Good. Is everyone here?"

" Yes, Emmett and Rosalie arrived just before you. You're grandparents are also all seated inside. I also saw Abigail and Allen somewhere in that mix. Everybody seems to be here and happy, the inside looks beautiful."

" Is the priest here?"

" Yes, Bella. Don't be so nervous, sweetheart."

I took a deep breath and Carlisle gave me one more quick hug before I suddenly heard the familiar music starting. My breathing hitched and I felt my heart starting to race in excitement, nervousness and pure happiness. Alice blew me a kiss and linked her arm with Carlisle, giving a slight giggle and stepping through those doors.

I felt my dad put his arm around my waist and we were then alone.

" Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment before opening them. " Yes."

I gripped my bouquet and looked down at my dress, it looked perfect, and dad smoothed my veil out for me, making it look perfect. I felt my dad loop his arm through mine and then the doors were opened by two men. I took a step forward with my dad as I heard Canon in D by Pachelbel start.

Around me the room was perfect. Instead of the red rug going down the aisles between the benches, there was a white runner going down instead. The ends of the bench's were decorated with white and red bows and satin sashes. The ceilings were high, and the setting was perfect. The music echoed in the air as I stepped down steadily along the aisle.

When I looked straight ahead, I saw Edward standing there, and he stared right back at me with a beautiful smile on his face. I knew that I was smiling; I couldn't not smile at this moment, it would be impossible. His eyes never moved from mine, and when I reached the end of the aisle, my dad went up both steps with me and I stood face to face with Edward in this surreal moment.

I gave my dad a hug and he took my hand, placing it in Edward's before taking his seat next to my mother in the front row. I looked at Edward, seeing how amazing he looked. His suit fit him perfectly, and it was ironed right down to the white crisp shirt underneath the mostly hidden vest and suit jacket. His bow tie was perfectly straight as well as the red rose pinned to his pocket.

And in that moment I suddenly felt a sob escape my mouth involuntarily. I heard an 'aw' from everybody else and I wiped the tear that rolled down my face before holding Edward's hands with mine. He stared at me with all of the love and adoration I'd wanted to see from him for many years, and I looked in his eyes and saw everything I wanted.

" We are all gathered here today to celebrate the love of both Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen, and to bind them together in holy matrimony."

The priest said his small speech on marriage, and both Edward and I listened intently to him, not wanting to miss a word. We stared into each other's eyes, and I never felt as in sync with him as I did in that moment.

When it had come time for ring exchanging and our vows, my heart was beating excitedly and I took deep breaths to calm down.

First we had done our ' I do's', it was traditional to say those before our official vows.

The priest turned to Edward then afterwards and asked him to repeat after him, and Edward did, without one stutter or pause.

" I, Edward Anthony Cullen, take you, Isabella Marie Swan, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to be faithful to you, and I promise to love and to cherish you, for as long as we both shall live."

Edward held the ring between his fingers and slid it onto my ring finger, where it would stay for the rest of my life

The priest then turned to me, asking me to repeat after him.

" I, Isabella Marie Swan, take you, Edward Anthony Cullen, to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to be faithful to you, and I promise to love and to cherish you, for as long as we both shall live."

Alice handed me the ring and I looked at Edward, and held his hand gingerly, sliding the ring onto his finger. My hand was no longer shaking, and I felt that in my heart, and my entire being, that this was right.

" With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Edward's arms slid around my waist and he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me deeply and sensually. I returned his kiss with equal passion before he pulled away and we looked towards everyone else. His hand firmly in mine, we walked down the two steps and down the aisle. There was clapping and loud cheering following us all the way outside.

When we got into the limo, that was the first moment of peace. We sat down together and had twenty minutes of just us together as husband and wife.

Edward was now my husband, and my insides squealed at the thought with delight.

" You look heart breakingly beautiful, my Isabella."

I smiled, " You look beautiful yourself, my Edward."

His arms wound around my waist and he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me deeply and thoroughly. I groaned against his lips, wanting as much as him as I could get. Edward's hands were on either side of my face, keeping my lips against his and slanting his mouth over mine.

" I love you, so much." he murmured, pulling away.

" I love you, too." I replied, chastely kissing him.

Instead of letting me pull away he held me to him, keeping his lips on mine. I ran my hands down his back and over his ass, gripping him. Edward moaned deeply into my mouth and I smiled, pulling away.

" Ass grabber." he chuckled.

" You love it."

" I'd grab your ass if you weren't sitting down." he said, moving off of me.

I leaned over and kissed the side of his neck, leaning against him. I felt his hand run over my dress and he smiled.

" I love your dress. It's absolutely beautiful on you."

" Thank you. I'm sure glad you don't hate it."

" You'd look beautiful in a plastic grocery bag."

We talked quietly to each other and when the limo came to a stop, Edward opened the door and got out first, holding his hand out to me. I stood up on my feet and Edward shut the door, pulling me against him. There were only two cars here, and the others would probably be here within five to ten minutes, they had to get ushered out and get to their cars. Alice, Jasper, Esme and my mother were all here I knew. And Carlisle and my dad were taking our grandparents back here.

Edward and I drifted through the house until we reached the back, and I felt my mom launching herself into my arms.

" I'm so happy for you, Bella." she murmured.

" Thanks mom."

I was passed then to Esme, then to Alice and Jasper. After that people seemed to just come right on in. I saw all of our grandparents, and gave them all hugs and a kiss on the cheek. They all were saying how beautiful I looked, and I think my face was permanently red.

I saw Angela, Ben, Abigail, Allen, and finally I saw Luke walk up to me. He looked almost the same, but his face was a bit thinner and he looked a little more bulky in muscle. When he looked at me I smiled immediately.

He was a great guy, and if I wasn't helplessly in love with Edward, he would be one of those guys I could see myself with. Without warning he wrapped his arms around me.

" I knew that you'd marry him, Bella."

" You did? I was still waiting in the wings for him to realize how much I loved him."

He laughed. " How are you? I haven't talked to you since...A few days after that Halloween. I was surprised to get an invitation."

" You were...so understanding about what went on. I appreciated it, you were a great person to talk to. I've been doing great as you can probably see. How about you?"

" Great. I'm doing amazing."

Suddenly a beautiful red head appeared at his side. Her hair was long, and down in curls similar to mine. She had olive green eyes and pale skin, it almost rivaled mine. She had on a pretty white summer dress with a pair of black strappy heels.

" Bella, this is my girlfriend, Victoria. Victoria, this is Bella."

" Hi, I've heard really nice things about you. Congratulations." she said in a genuinely nice tone.

" Thank you, and thanks for coming along. You can...find a seat anywhere you want or where you feel comfortable."

Then Edward was behind me, and I knew he was feeling protective at the moment seeing me talk to Luke.

" Edward, this is Luke's girlfriend Victoria."

Edward shook her hand and gave a greeting. I think she was the first girl who didn't hit on Edward first time meeting him. She was definitely a keeper for Luke if she didn't check Edward out or give him the once over.

I saw Abigail in the mix and she basically ran to me to give me a hug.

" I told you! I told you when we were kids it would happen and now look at you, you're married to him!"

" I know. This is...surreal I can't believe I am living in this moment right now."

I was really glad that we had connected after that trip to London and went out for lunch. I'd really missed her when I moved away, but things seemed to be good now and we talked regularly on the phone when we had time. She was graduating next year, same time as me, and she is planning on becoming a high school English teacher. I think that's a big reason we clicked when we were kids, we both loved to read, and did whenever we had the chance.

Edward and Allen seemed to be talking off to the side, and when I glanced over I saw Edward give me a wink and I blushed.

" I know you two will work out perfectly. He loves you, I can see It." she said.

" I have no clue what I would do without that boy."

About ten minutes later I was whisked onto the dance floor that had been set up, and Edward and I would share our first dance as husband and wife. He had his arms wrapped around my waist and I had mine around his neck as he moved me back and forth.

" I don't think I've ever been this happy." he whispered quietly in my ear, pulling me closer and rubbing my back gently.

" I've wanted this forever."

" Is this everything you've dreamed of?"

" No...It's better."

Edward turned his head and pressed his lips to mine. Cameras clicked continuously around us and I felt Edward's love in the kiss, and I tried to return it as best I could. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes, swaying slowly with him.

When the song was over we came to a stop and Edward kissed me once again before whisking me off towards our table. He sat down and pulled me into his lap, pressing his lips against mine.

EPOV

At this moment I couldn't get enough of her, her touch, her lips, and her body. Everything.

The moment that I took my spot at the end of the aisle and saw her walking towards me, a wave of happiness just washed over me, and I felt how right this was down to my core. She was the one for me, and I knew she felt the same.

Her dress on her was absolutely beautiful, and it fit her slim figure and bust perfectly. Her boobs looked pretty fantastic, I'd admit it. The dress was strapless, exposing her beautiful shoulders, and it wasn't too full at the bottom. She kept it simple and gorgeous, just like herself. Her hair was down for the most part, and it had been curled and went in ringlets down her back. She knew how much I loved her hair, and running my fingers through it every chance I could find.

I felt her eyes almost staring into my soul as she walked towards me, and I felt like the luckiest man on earth to have someone like her in my life. I had no idea how I got so damn lucky with her, and she wanted me to be with her for the rest of her life. Be the one to love her until death do us part.

She recited her vows in a steady, confident voice. And when the ring slid onto my finger this all felt so real. She is my wife. She is mine.

" We are giving our guests quite the show."

I kissed her deeper, slanting my mouth over hers and massaging her tongue against mine. Her hands wove into my hair, and I wound my arms around her small waist, feeling her quiet moan against my lips. Slowly I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers.

" I can't get enough of you."

" I can tell." she murmured, resting her head on my shoulder.

" Sorry to interrupt the happy couple, mind if I we sit with you?"

" Of course, Alice. You can sit."

Bella maneuvered herself out of my lap and sat in her own spot next to Alice, Jasper next to her. Each of the round tables in the yard could hold six people if needed. The entire yard was decked out. There are red cloths on the tables, white napkins and shining brand new silverware. We had smaller plates for the horderves that were going around.

We had grilled fruit skewers going around, and fried ravioli, which was to fucking die for. There were also stuffed mushrooms, and a few other light things going around. Carlisle and Esme sat down with us also, and I could see Bella's mom mingling with everyone, and her dad was talking with our grandparents.

Our first course came out, and Bella got the tomato soup and I got the melon, deciding the share each others, that was the plan from the beginning. We loved every single dish and would indulge with each of them. I fed Bella spoonfuls of the melon soup, and she did the same for me with the tomato. Everyone around us seemed to be enjoying the first meal, but they were just getting started.

The salad was as great as the first time, and everyone liked it, I never heard one complaint, just compliments when people passed by or sat down momentarily. Bella and I mingled with everyone when they first got here, but we would when our meals were over, not wanting to disturb any eating people.

Bella look a bite from her halibut, and threw her head back for a laugh over Alice's confusion as to what pancetta is. Its Italian bacon and Alice had no idea that it even existed. I looked at Bella, smiling at seeing her so happy. It made me ecstatic.

BPOV

I leaned forward and took a bite of the potato chunk that was on Edward's fork. I slid my lips back and Edward gave me a sexy smile. He grabbed his fork and grabbed a bite of the orzo stuffed pepper. Edward moaned when the food entered his mouth, and I stole a bite of his filet mignon.

Suddenly, my mother and Esme appeared out of nowhere. Esme held a scrapbook in her hand and she took a seat next to me and handed it to me. The outside was white, and our name was in beautiful script along the front.

" We've been working on this for a long time, and we want you both to have it."

Edward looked at me, and then back at the scrapbook before opening it.

" Oh my god."

There were pictures of us as newborns, toddlers, little kids, pre-teens, teens and late teens, then recent pictures from now. Edward's hand touched a picture and I looked at it, shocked.

It was a picture of us kissing for the first time back in London, when we were like thirteen and shared our first kiss together. I looked up and Esme smiled at me.

" And you thought nobody saw that." she said with a laugh.

This scrapbook was ours to keep, it was full of just pictures of Edward and I together, and some of just us seperated, those were scarce. I noticed pictures of Edward and I sleeping, many of them from our middle-teen years. Edward recalled alot of them.

" This is...precious. Thank you both so much."

When we finished with our dinner, it was about a half hour later. It was almost six thirty, and we were planning on cutting the cake now. Our cake is five tiered, and it has an overlay of white fondant on each tier, and black designs over it, each tier different.

The tier's alternate with two different cakes and fillings. The first tier is red velvet with a cream cheese frosting, and the second is chocolate cake with chocolate ganache, chocolate mousse and fresh raspberries, then the third was the red velvet and so on.

The cake was out in the open and Edward and I stood up and walked over to it. I picked up the knife, and Edward put his hand over mine, his other arm around my waist. The cameras clicked, and Edward pushed his hand down gently on mine and we cut into the cake. We cut the first piece and got it on the plate. Edward grabbed a fork next to the stack of plates, and I also grabbed one. Just as I was getting a piece onto the utensil, I felt a chunk of the cake being smacked right on my mouth. I looked up and saw Edward licking his fingers. I used my hand and grabbed one myself, smearing it over his mouth.

I licked my lips, smiling at him.

" Oh, you are going to get it."

Edward kissed my lips, taking my bottom one between his and sucking the frosting off. When he licked up my jaw I scrunched my face up at the feeling.

" Ew, Edward!"

I grabbed a napkin and wiped off my face, hearing our guests around us laugh. I wiped off his face and grabbed forks. We cut pieces for everyone who wanted a piece. Edward and I both got a taste of both different cakes. I was currently in love with the chocolate cake, devouring it right in front of Edward.

" This is amazing."

" I can tell. You have a bit of mousse right here."

Edward leaned forward and kissed the corner of my mouth, licking his lips. I smiled at him and set my empty plate on top of his. I sat at the table with my grandparents for awhile, and we chatted and talked for a good while, I also danced with my father, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Grandpa Edward and somehow I ended up in Edward's arms once again, moving back and forth.

Today had been amazing, and everything I ever wanted for both of us. The smile on Edward's face never faded or faltered.

" You looked absolutely beautiful today. It's a shame you have to take it off before we leave." He murmured.

" Oh, I will?"

" Mhm. Unless you want to go to the airport in your wedding dress. It's already seven, we must get going. All of our bags are packed in the limo thanks to Alice."

" I didn't even pack a bag."

" She took care of it for you. No worries, beloved."

Suddenly I felt Alice's hand on mine, and Edward and I stopped moving.

" Bella..."

" What's wrong, Alice?" I asked, taking note of her worried tone.

" Tanya is here." She whispered furiously to Edward and I

She had to be absolutely kidding me. This one special day that I wanted to be just about Edward and I, no drama or anything to interrupt us, it was supposed to be the perfect day. I'd be damned if I let some stupid bleach blonde ruin our wedding.

I knew that Rosalie must have been in on this; because there was no way that Tanya even would have known today was our wedding. She didn't even know of our engagement as far as I knew. With a deep sigh, I grabbed Edward's hand and we walked towards Emmett's table where I saw the bitch herself seated next to Rosalie.

Her dress was short and tight, sequins attached to it that shimmered in the twinkle lights hung around. I could see her shoes sticking out, and they were bright red, matching her obnoxious dress.

" What are you doing here?" Edward demanded.

" Edward...It's been awhile. So hot...I just couldn't believe you were tying the knot with the trash here. When Rosalie said it I just about busted out laughing. You know, that could have been me by your side in a much...prettier dress."

" You can come here, and show your fucked up, Botox puffed up face, but when you insult my wife that is taking it way too far. You are not wanted here, and I want you out of here now before I have you escorted off by the Chief of Chicago Police himself. You decided to mess with the wrong fucking family."

Tanya's face twisted up into an ugly sneer. " What the fuck ever. You both deserve each other. Let's get out of here Rosalie."

Tanya stood up and Rosalie stood up next to her, I watched them both walking away together, and then suddenly, I saw Emmett stand up and stare after Rosalie. I saw the hurt, he didn't hide it. Edward and I both knew that he was struggling with her.

" If you leave with her, I'm done." Emmett called out to her.

Rosalie then froze, and she turned her icy eyes on Emmett. She looked fucking shocked, like she didn't believe he would ever say that to her. We all knew that Emmett would only handle it for so long. I know that Rosalie loves Emmett, and she obviously needs to see what her actions are doing.

" You brought that poisonous _bitch _to our...fuck that, _my _best friend's wedding. That was taking it too far. This day is about Edward and Bella, and you just can't stand that. If you walk away with her, I am done with you. Let her walk away alone and we can work this out, but I am done Rosalie. This attitude, it's not the girl I fell in love with, the girl that I've been waiting to ask to marry me. But you've done this, and it makes me resent you for doing this to them, it's not fair at all. This is their special day, and right now you need to pick. You can make this right, get your...second chance, hell third chance with Edward and Bella, and get your friends back. Or you can walk away with her, and only her."

" Let's go, Rose." Tanya said forcefully.

I knew there was a part of Rosalie that still cared for all of us, and right now that was being clouded by Tanya.

" Make your choice. Now."

Rosalie shook Tanya's arm off her, and I saw Tanya's face go red in embarrassment. Rose took a step towards Emmett, and I saw tears gather in her eyes.

" Let's go home." was all she said before she turned around and walked away.

Emmett sighed and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered how sorry he was, and then gave Edward a hug. None of the guests seemed to know what was going on, almost clueless, and I was glad they didn't hear any of this shit.

Edward pulled me to his side and kissed my forehead, and I felt Alice lean against my side.

" I'm glad she isn't stupid enough to walk away from Emmett." she said. " He's a saint, dealing with her."

" Let's forget about what just happened." Edward stated, walking me back over towards our table. " You should go upstairs with Alice and change, okay? I'll meet you at the front door in ten minutes."

Edward and I went around and thanked our guests all for being here, making promises to see them in the future when we had time, and making plans with a few of them. Such as Angela and Ben that we would go out to dinner and do something when we get back in New York, thanking all of the ones who flew out to see us also.

We said goodbye to our grandparents, giving them hugs and promises to see them soon, along with Abigail and Allen. We would see them soon, maybe take a visit up there at the end of summer or after we get back from the honeymoon.

Alice then whisked me upstairs and helped me out of my dress and into a royal blue strapless dress. The straps were about an inch thick and the dress was really pretty, it clung to my bust and flowed out to mid-thigh. The fabric was cotton also, and felt nice against my skin. Alice took the pins out of my hair and I sighed as I felt the rest of my hair fall down my back. I ran my fingers through my hair and shook it out a bit.

I kept my same shoes on; they were fine to walk around in. I'd been doing it for hours already now.

" Thanks so much for all the help with the wedding. It pulled together in such an amazing way. I appreciate everything you've done for Edward and I, Ali."

She wrapped her arms around me. " A pleasure. Now you go have fun on your honeymoon. Don't worry about anything here."

I descended the stairs with Alice and looked around for my father. I found him talking with my mother and I immediately went over to them. I gave them both tight hugs, thanking them for helping make the day great.

" Have fun, baby." my mother said, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I kissed my father's cheek and saw Carlisle wandering around the house. I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me back tightly.

" You have fun, not too much though." he said with a laugh.

" Wouldn't dream of it!"

I felt Esme behind me and she also gave me a tight hug, rubbing my back gently.

" I'll miss you, but you have fun. Keep that boy in line."

I smiled. " Of course."

Edward was waiting by the front door from me and when he saw me he grabbed my hand. When the front door opened Edward kissed me in the entry way before running us down to the limo. There was a flurry of rice being thrown at us, and I felt them pelt my back and some even going down the front of my dress.

Quickly Edward and I got in the limo and he shut the door. I let out a breath and he laughed at me as I tossed grains of rice on the floor from my dress. Edward shook it out of his hair and ran his fingers through mine. I shook my dress a little until I felt rice-free and Edward put his arm around me, resting his head on top of mine.

" Excited to go away for awhile?" he asked.

" Excited to spend the first week with you in bed and not leaving."

Edward laughed. " What about showering, food, washroom?"

" I know...Can't you just go with it?"

He tipped my face towards his and gave me a long, lingering kiss.

" Where are you taking me?"

" It's a surprise."

I was just damn confused now. I had absolutely no idea where in the hell he was taking me. It was a flurry of car rides and airports.

Our first flight was to Houston, Texas, then to Rio de Janeiro. We were flying first class and the flight to South America really wasn't that bad. It was almost a fun surprise and Edward was entertaining me even though I was tired half the time. He was wide awake though, alert and excited.

After we got to Rio, we had no other flights. We got into a taxi, driving through the dark, living streets of Rio. Edward was speaking Portuguese, giving out instructions. He could have been saying that he was taking me to a forest to slaughter me and I would have no idea what the hell he was saying. I had no idea he even knew Portuguese. He told me that he learned it from his college professor when they had free time apparently.

Finally, we were stopping at docks right on the ocean. I was very confused as to where in the hell we were. I stayed quiet, because for the most part I was tired. Edward put our bags in the small boat, which was like a little yacht. When he lifted me up, he put me on the little couch along the side of the boat, and I laid down, grabbing one of the plush pillows.

His hand brushed over my cheek before I felt the boat start to speed, the water slapping around the bottom of it. I yawned once and sat up, my head alert.

This was my wedding night, and I was not going to spend it sleeping while my poor husband lie awake, and alone, waiting to be tired. Edward looked at me, a peaceful smile on his face.

His jacket was off and he was only in his shoes, trousers and the button down with the vest over it. The bow tie gone, along with the jacket, and he draped it over the seat along the edge of the boat. I slowly stood up and went to stand next to him, wrapping my arms around his waist as he steered us around.

" Look out there, see that light?"

I looked away and towards the direction his pale finger was pointing in. I did, in fact, see a light. It looked like a small island from here. As we got closer, I could see that there was clearly a house, all of the lights on. There was sand on the shore and the water was like blue crystal's sparkling. Edward got out of the boat and I helped him with the bags. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me up, pulling me to his chest.

" Did I ever tell you about the island my dad bought for my mom?"

" Carlisle bought Esme an Island?"

" Yes, it was awhile ago. Anyways, I asked them if I could take you here for our honeymoon for awhile."

I felt his arms wrap around my waist and I leaned against him.

" Stay put."

Edward grabbed the bags and ran them to the beach house before coming back to me, lifting me up in his arms bridal style and walking us towards the house. When we reached it, he opened the door and walked us inside.

It was really warm and humid here, but I liked it anyways. It was a warm and comforting atmosphere, perfect for our honeymoon. When we came to another room, I could see it was obviously the bedroom and it was very pretty.

There was a netting canopy hanging from the ceiling, the walls a light blue and the bed a bright white with a billion pillows on it. The carpet looked very lush and the room was open, with a set of glass doors that led to a balcony that went down to the beach.

Edward had put our bags in here, and he sat down on the bed, taking his shoes and socks off. I kicked off my heels and ran my fingers through my hair, slowly walking towards him. His arms wrapped around my waist when I reached him, and he pulled my body to his, pressing his lips against mine.

I leaned into his body and he scooted himself back, taking me with him. I lay on my side and Edward slowly moved his body over mine, running his hand over my covered waist. I slowly took off his satin vest, it was dark red, but most of it had been covered obviously, it's not really supposed to show.

I tossed it on the floor and pulled on his button up, untucking it from his slacks.

Edward pulled on the zipper to my dress and I rested my hand on his cheek.

" Are you okay? Is this okay?" he asked.

" This is perfect...I love you."

" I love you, too, my Bella."

His lips claimed mine again, with more passion this time, and I felt myself slowly ease into the bed and become comfortable with Edward here. He was my everything, and this was probably the best decision I've ever made in my life; to marry him.

When I awoke in the morning, the sun shone brightly in the room, but luckily not directly in my face or on me. The room was hot and humid, but Edward was surprisingly chill underneath my body. I lay sprawled across his chest with the rest of my body almost hanging off the side of the bed. I lay completely opposite on the bed than supposed to.

I felt Edward's fingers running through my hair, the tips of his fingers gently grazing my bare back. I shivered from his touch and looked up. His eyes were closed and a small smile touched his lips. What I noticed was a feather in his bronze hair.

Slowly I picked my head up and looked around.

There were feathers everywhere, and two torn pillows. One at the end of the bed, and one laying over my legs that were already covered by the soft white comforter on the bed. In fact, this comforter was damn soft.

" Good morning." Edward said, his voice rough with sleep.

" Good mor-" My voice cracked and I felt a tickle in my throat, making me cough.

" Is your throat okay?"

" Yeah, just had to cough." I replied, my voice normal

" Are you sure?"

" Yes. What's with the ripped pillows and feather everywhere?"

" I...got a bit carried away last night."

" Oh, yeah?"

" Mhm."

I moved off of him and laid on my back, and suddenly feathers flew up everywhere. I let out a giggle and Edward laughed loudly, turning towards me and pressing his lips to mine. He pulled me back against him and ran his hands over my back, moaning quietly. I hitched my leg over his thigh and pressed my entire body flush against his.

Afterwards, Edward and I headed into the shower and got all of the feathers out of my hair. The shower was huge, and made out of glass. Tile covered the walls and the floor, and it was all in black, grey and white tones. Once we were finished in the shower, I dried off and blow dried my hair while Edward shaved. He was already growing a good amount of stubble, impressive since he just shaved yesterday afternoon.

I put my hair up in a pony-tail after curling just a few pieces, and only put on a bit of makeup, Alice had packed some for me that I found. I brushed my teeth and walked to the bedroom with only a towel on. I opened my bag of clothing and gaped at the contents.

Silk and lace.

Did she even consider actual clothing?

I dug through it, not finding one pair of jeans, skinny jeans, or just a t-shirt. Edward peered over my shoulder.

" Oh, this is nice." he murmured, picking up one of the silk gowns, and then one of the sheer teddy's.

" What do I wear?"

He fished down to the bottom and found a strapless cotton dress. Edward handed it to me and kissed the side of my neck. I took the towel off, put on some of the many lingerie pieces I had in the bag. I put on the dress and decided to go barefoot for now.

I climbed onto the bed and started to gather the feathers, but Edward stopped me.

" There is a maid that will take care of it." he said.

" Oh...Alright then."

" Let's get some breakfast, okay?"

" Sounds perfect."

The honeymoon was perfect, better than I'd ever imagined.

Edward and I spent the days going snorkeling, swimming in the ocean, and hell, swimming with dolphins. And the nights were mostly spent in the privacy of our bedroom and showing our love for one another. We went night swimming a few times, and I noticed the water was even warmer at night then during the day.

The ocean was absolutely beautiful. The water was so clear blue that you could see the sand at the bottom. The sand all around the beach was soft and had a very thin grain. It was almost like a powder it was so fine and soft.

I enjoyed the hot weather, even if it was a bit humid and moist, it was still nice, and over all just a romantic setting. This had probably been one of the most romantic times of my life, and Edward and I were having an amazing time here. Every moment was spent together, and I never got sick of it.

He really had outdone himself by making this time perfect. I felt all the stress of real life just melted away, and everything was just about Edward and I and how much we loved each other. We'd talked to our family a bit on our trip, and they were doing great.

Edward had gotten himself a nice tan, and he looked just happy. I'd never seen him so carefree or genuinely happy than I have these past few weeks. I think that we needed this time to ourselves, to really and fully connect and just focus on each other and our relationship.

I was really sad to have left from the Island, which I knew was actually called Isle Esme.

Edward had promised me that we would go back soon, and we also agreed that every once in awhile when school starts up, we will make sure to have a day in the week to just go out for dinner and spend time together. I think we needed something like that.

On July 18th, Sunday, we arrived back in Chicago and saw our family for the first time in awhile. Our honeymoon had been absolutely amazing, and I loved every moment that Edward and I spent together.

When we got back to the Cullen's, our parents bombarded us with everything. They wanted details on what we did, and of course we told them everything we did, besides some of our more tiring nighttime and occasionally morning activities. They didn't need to know about that side of the trip at all.

I knew that Alice would force something out of me when I saw her later for lunch; right now I just wanted a good nap because of the flight. It was seven thirty when we got to the Cullen's house, and both Edward and I wanted some sleep after a long night and very early morning.

My skin had come back just as tan as Edward's, and they were all very jealous, apparently not getting much sun here and more rain. When we plopped onto Edward's bed I already missed the other one, and Edward agreed with me.

Luckily, they had more pillows stocked in the closet, because the first night was just a start of Edward's pillow ripping. I thought it was funny though, and waking up to feathers everywhere would always be a memory to hold close to my heart.

After a good nap, I had showered and dressed, leaving Edward for the first time in weeks, and headed out to Jimmy John's where I was meeting Alice. When she saw me she basically hopped out of her seat to me.

" You are so tan! Look at you, Bella Sw- Cullen!"

Hearing my name with Edward's last name was still surreal.

" I know! How are you, what's been going on?"

" Everything has been amazing. Who cares, what about you?"

We ordered sandwiches and while we waited I told Alice all about the snorkeling and everything we did around the Island. It didn't sound like much, but days of just being on the beach, swimming and being with Edward was very enjoyable and occupied our time. It was amazing.

Alice listened to everything I had to say, not interrupting once, and only to say how fun it sounded when I finished at the end. When we got out sandwiches and filled our drinks we took a seat at a bench and Alice leaned forward, smiling.

" So...How was nighttime?"

" We went swimming at night a few times. The water was so much warmer then during the day, which is surprising. But the air gets really humid there when it's darker, and it gets a bit foggy. Edward and I were basically almost hidden!"

" You know what I am asking, Isabella. How was all your extracurricular activities?"

I blushed, " They were good."

" Good? Just good?"

" Okay, they were absolutely blowing-my-mind amazing."

" Ooooh, what'd you do Mrs. Cullen? Did you completely defile your husband?"

Once again, my face flushed red. " I sure did. It was...He was absolutely amazing. I mean it's not like we haven't already done anything, obviously we have, but I think with the whole honeymoon setting going around, he was just so..."

" Passionate, earth-shattering, mind blowing, unbelievable."

" All of the above."

" Good thing we know he isn't lame between the sheets."

I laughed. " We? Yeah, you better keep those pieces of information to yourself. No gossip to Esme, or my mother, or Jasper or anybody."

" But, Bel-la."

" Anyways, yeah, it was amazing, the honeymoon all around. I really missed it just being about us, and this was just refreshing. I feel closer to him than ever before."

She smiled. " Good, that's great. I want you both to be happy."

" I just feel this turning into something great, Ali."

" I'm so happy for you, Bella. Both of you."

It was all too soon that the summer was gone, and we were thrown back into a whirlwind of classes and work. This was my last year in college and I was sure that it was going to be the best yet. I was ecstatic to be done with college, and as much as I loved New York, I was glad that Edward and I were planning on moving to Chicago.

This November he would be applying to Law Schools in the area, and I could tell he was also happy. We were also discussing a lot about our future in Chicago. I was of course going to be applying to newspapers all around Chicago, and Edward and I decided to get an apartment before getting a house.

We both knew that we would have to live in a certain place depending on jobs, and we decided that we'd just keep up staying in an apartment and find one out there. When Edward gets a job at a firm we could settle down in a home and go from there.

We also even talked about kids, which we also decided was something that could come after we got our house and both had stable jobs. Both of us knew we would want to have a family, and I wouldn't want anything more than to have Edward's children, and we both had decided that once we were in a good place in life, and things were stable, we would settle down and take that step.

Edward and I were still very obviously newlyweds, and still experiencing that bliss. It felt like every moment we spent together felt like the happiness of the day we got married. It never ended, and I honestly don't want it to.

Our Birthday passed on a Monday, and we had actually celebrated a bit on Sunday instead, but with working so much we didn't really have so much time together, or any free time in general. These past few months Edward and I agreed that we'd just kick ass and we had no more vacation at work, we were lucky to get the summer off and be able to come back. Especially Edward because they had to have someone step in for him as manager.

The coffee shop really wasn't busy in the summer; with the hot weather people don't want hot drinks, even if we do offer ice coffee. Ice-cream parlors and slurpee's are mostly desired in the summer.

Soon enough Halloween passed along in a whiz of chocolate and unoriginal costumes, I've never seen so many Hannah Montana wigs and outfits in my life then that day. Unfortunately, Edward and I turned into those people who gave kids the ' fun-sized ' candy, even though all those years ago we complained about how people were cheap about those. Now I finally got it, they had a damn house to support. We were kids at the time; of course we didn't get it! With bills and groceries we realized all of those little things.

We had the winter come and it was a flurry of snow and wetness everywhere. Edward and I were on break, and we spent Christmas here, just us two, for the first time away from home, and our first Christmas as husband and wife. We spent a lot of the break working, and trying to get in some moments to spend together. We spent a warm Christmas in the living room with the fire going, a glass of wine and a shared blanket.

And when we reached spring it was surreal that our anniversary was going to be in June.

Edward and mine's relationship didn't change, besides the fact that we became more passionate about each other. That was probably at an all time high, and I really felt the protectiveness level increase with Edward, if that were even possible.

" Touching you...Touching me. Touching you, god you're touching me."

" What are you singing?"

" I believe in a thing called love."

I bit my lip to stifle my laugh and he glared at me over his shoulder. I walked towards him and jumped onto his back.

" I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day." he sang quietly, catching me.

" You can be so random."

" That's why you love me."

He twirled me around on his back before setting me down and wrapping his arms around my waist, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, looking him right into his beautiful green eyes.

" I love you."

" I love you, too, beloved."

" Excited for summer?"

" Actually, I kind of am. I should be getting letters from the schools I applied to around next month in May."

Edward had applied to basically any Law School in the Chicago area. He applied to Northwestern University School of Law, University of Chicago Law School, Loyola University Chicago School of Law and John Marshall Law School.

Edward had already taken his LSAT text and passed with flying colors, which was no shock, and he was a straight A+ student in school. He has completely excelled in school and I was proud of him. I had no doubt that he wouldn't get into all of them. I think his main goal is Northwestern, it is a private American school, but Edward was looking forward to being in a class room and working with people who work in actual firms and being a part of a case.

He was studying to becoming a private-practice lawyer. Which most of these lawyers get paid a lot because most people who are richer and need to settle cases they go to a private general lawyer. People who are known for money obviously want their case settled quietly.

On May 21st, 2011, I will be graduating from Columbia University, and on the next day, Edward will be graduating from New York University of Law. Our gowns and everything were already ordered, and I was ecstatic to be finishing this one part of my life. I knew that getting a job and already being married was pretty grown up, and I felt like I was finally in charge.

I was graduating from college. I had a husband, and soon I would have a job hopefully and following after that maybe a baby. I was scared a little bit, talking about having kids, I was excited, but thinking about the outcome of last time really had me nervous. The doctor had said I should still be able to get pregnant, but they figure that I should go in once a week for a checkup and maybe go through pregnancy classes or even see a therapist so that I would have a calm, smooth pregnancy, if we planned on conceiving again.

This new life was exciting, especially knowing that I would be spending it with Edward, and things were absolutely perfect right now. I couldn't imagine them being any better for us.

When I heard my name being called out, I was literally shaking in my seat, but I could hear the cheering of my family there for me, and Edward, as I walked on stage and held my college diploma. The moment was surreal and I couldn't believe I had finally survived college, and that after this summer my life would officially be taking off.

I am sure Edward had the same experience during his ceremony when he was announced along with other people who graduated from pre-law, and now was going to Northwestern Law School to get his Juris Doctorate Degree.

I'd been completely right. He got into all of the schools, and he made the quick decision to go to Northwestern and he was very happy about it. I could tell that he was happy, and that made me all the more happy for him. Things were really still going amazing right now.

Today, May 25th, Edward and I were already in Chicago and going apartment hunting. I was really excited to be doing this, and we were both extremely excited that this was happening and all those months we were waiting to move back, and now we finally were at this point and actually looking for apartments. There was basically a plan we had going.

When we found an apartment around here, what we were planning on doing was basically sending all of our bigger things that we could ship from our apartment, such as bigger things like furniture, to my parents or the Cullen's, which ever. Edward and I would have to drive down here ourselves, packing up the cars with all of our remaining things.

I was actually a bit sad to leave our old apartment, it really did feel like our home, but I knew that our new apartment would feel like home until we actually bought our house in a few years. Edward and I had been looking in newspapers, circling possible apartments that were for rent. It was a little scary having no job right now, but we had money in the bank just in case.

Yesterday Edward had gone out all day and brought a huge pile of job applications back to the Cullen's house and we spent the day filling out applications and then this morning we got up early and handed them back in. I, obviously, didn't have to fill out some myself, but I did it for Edward to make it go quicker.

Edward applied to bakeries, restaurants, Target, Walgreens, CVS, Jewel Osco and Berkots. I knew he would have a big chance of working in a restaurant again, but he said he wasn't going to keep his hopes up about that.

I had applied to newspapers around here already: Herald Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and Chicago Tribune. I had high hopes for Chicago Tribune, and I applied for all opening positions besides sports. I honestly don't think that I can even keep up with all of the sports events going on.

" Okay. We have six apartment locations today. I say we go through all of them before deciding." Edward said as he got into the driver seat of Esme's car.

" Deal. Let's get started."

We both knew that not all of the apartments would be...Ideal.

The first apartment was okay. It was in a huge building and it was...alright. The wooden floors in the living room were a little rough looking, and the tile in the kitchen was probably supposed to be white, not cream with scattered spots of different colors. The one bedroom it had was small, and out of the window had a view that was not pleasing, a McDonald's sign. The bathroom couldn't fit both Edward and I, unless we were pressed up against each other, and it was a little dirty.

Apartment one, definitely not a choice for our future home.

The second apartment was much better, in a nice area of downtown and was in a smaller building with bigger apartments. When we stepped into it, I firstly notice the whole glass wall along it. That, I had not been expecting. The apartment was nice, but Edward and I weren't partial to the glass wall, and it basically showed the entire bedroom. I didn't feel comfortable with that, and that was checked off.

The third was a dump. Edward and I did not go in because the outside had a smell that apparently was similar to pot. Never smelt that shit but Edward identified it and didn't even bother with it. I trusted him and we went on our merry way.

The fourth apartment; That one was definitely the nicest, and it was also close to Northwestern. The building was chopped into four apartments, two apartments on top and two on the main floor. The one we looked at was on the top. The flooring was carpet in the living room and bedroom, and white tile in the bathroom and kitchen. The living room had good space, but the kitchen was definitely on the smaller side. The bathroom was...probably bigger than the kitchen and the bedroom was really nice. It could definitely be workable. The walls were obviously freshly painted, and the floor was really clean.

Number four was definitely an option.

Edward and I stopped and went out for a lunch at a local diner that we used to go to after school, having some salads and sandwiches before heading back out to see what apartment five had to offer.

What apartment five had to offer, was a hole in the wall, cracked tile flooring but the most beautiful bedroom I've ever seen. I swear it was amazing. It was so open and light, with a view of Lake Michigan. A lot of Northwestern is in Chicago and Evanston and close to Lake Michigan.

" Edward, I want this bedroom, but I hate the rest of it."

He wrapped his arms around me and chuckled. " I wish we had money to renovate it, baby, but this is not going to work."

I reluctantly left that beautiful bedroom and we crossed that one off this list. Number four was winning so far.

Now, apartment six is apparently a studio apartment, and Edward and I were wary, considering studio apartments can be kind of small, and they are basically one room, sometimes separated by a little bit of dry wall. But Edward and I were willing to give it a chance.

When we pulled up, the building was really nice; I liked it so far from the outside, now to the inside. We met get another attendant to show us the apartment and we stepped in.

Opening the room was a living area very obviously, but what surprised me was the glass wall with thick wooden framing separating the living room from another, there wasn't a door, but a good doorway. Walking through there we were right into the kitchen. It was a great size, and there were counters on both sides with an island in the middle, a fridge, dishwasher and stove already supplied, along with a built in microwave. It was all stainless steal, with dark wood cabinets and dark granite countertops. The insides of the cabinets were clean, no issue there. Beyond there was what I imagined was room for a bedroom, there was a partial wall separator, and you had to go through the kitchen to obviously get to the bedroom, and the back of the kitchen island was there, and I imagined barstools could work over there. The kitchen was hardwood, as was the living room, but beyond the kitchen was white carpeting. There was a bathroom that obviously had its own room, and it was a really good size.

" I...Love it. I think I could get used to the open bedroom, I don't think it will be a big deal...And look at the view from the window! Edward, I really love it. This could be a great home for right now, it just...It's so different and that's what I like. What do you think?"

Beautiful view of the city and a lot of natural light came into it. I was completely sold already, and I hoped that Edward felt the same way. His happiness also mattered also.

"If this makes you happy, it's it, love."

All of these apartments we had basically looked at because they were in price range. This place would be about eight seventy five, for rent only. I had no idea how this place went for that low on rent, but it was great.

The way he said it sounded so nonchalant. Like just because I said I loved it, he would make it work because he wanted me to be happy.

" Are you sure?"

" I think it's great, and I can tell you are already in love with this place. So, yes, this is home now."

I squealed loudly and jumped into his arms, hugging him as tightly as I could. He smiled and set me down, looking towards the lady who owned the building.

" Shall we sign some papers?"

" EDWARD, I CAN'T CARRY THIS BOX! I NEED HELP."

He was in the living room in an instant, taking the heavy box from my arms and setting it down on the kitchen counter. He opened it up and smirked, leaning over towards me.

" It's all my music, love."

I rolled my eyes, " No wonder why. You have every piece of music you could possibly fit in there."

Edward smirked at me and walked over to kiss me daintily on the lips.

" I'll go make the bed." I said, sauntering off.

" Mhm, you go do that. Might not be made for that long though." he said with innuendo dripping from his words.

" I hope not."

I walked into the bedroom area and grabbed the pile of sheets.

On May thirty first through June fourth, we spend the entire time packing our things and sending our big furniture to the Cullen's house. It really wasn't that hard packing up the apartment, but we would both miss New York. Edward and I decided to come visit every July 12th, and go to the hospital in New York to visit where our son had been buried, in the memorial they had in the sun/garden room.

Even if he wasn't here, he would always hold a place in my heart. My first baby and I couldn't ever forget that even if I tried. I wished that I could have been able to raise him, be his mom and watch him grow up, and that part of me that wants that I am sure will always be there.

It's already June sixth now, and our first year anniversary is only just a short while away. I was extremely excited. It seemed like this time had flown by us, and every moment was really worth capturing.

I pushed the sheet to the corner of the bed and pulled it around the other side. I used the next sheet and tucked it underneath the mattress before grabbing the comforter. I tossed it over the bed, going back and forth between sides to make it nice and straight. Once I had finished I put the pillow cases back over the pillows. I had washed every sheet on the bed, figuring I'd get them clean. As I smoothed over a slight bump, I was about to stand up straight before I felt Edward behind me. His arm wrapped around my waist and his lips underneath my ear.

Edward pressed my front into the mattress and I felt him lean over me, gently kissing the back of my neck. Slowly he turned my body over and covered it with his.

" Somebody wasn't wasting any time."

His hands pushed my shirt up and I unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it to the ground. I scratched my fingernails lightly over his back and he groaned. I felt his teeth gently bite my bottom lip and I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him properly.

July 12th

A lot has changed in such a little amount of time.

Edward and I's anniversary passed and we spent it taking a little vacation to Seattle and saw Muse, Theory of a Deadman and A Day to Remember perform at the Studio Seven. They were all three there, and Edward got us tickets because how often do we see a few of our favorite bands perform live.

It was amazing, and we didn't need all the romance during the day. In the evening we wound down and had dinner at a very nice Italian place and spent overnight in the Hilton before flying back here.

Edward had gotten a job at the local Target and I had two interviews with Chicago Sun-Times and Chicago Tribune. I'd gotten the job at Chicago Tribune two days after my interview, and was ecstatic to get the job. I never thought I'd be so happy but I was. I was basically writing top news articles that were kind of off to the side, but I was still excited and was extremely happy.

That day was probably one of the best, and Edward was happy for me.

I had talked to Alice, and her second year anniversary had been yesterday. They both had graduated two months ago also, and Jasper was going on to Law School at The Chicago University of Law, and Alice had gotten a job at a fashion designing building and was interning at the moment. She said that she and Jasper were talking about trying for a baby, probably a year from now, and both she and Jasper were doing great.

As for Rosalie and Emmett...Alice had said they were in couples therapy right now, and working through all of the issues in their relationship. Apparently Tanya still came around every once in awhile, but Rosalie wasn't being as influenced by her like she was before. Emmett was really stressed, Jasper had said, but he said that things were getting better for them. I was happy for them. I knew that Rosalie loved Emmett, even if people don't see it, I can.

Tanya is poisonous; Alice said that she had been whoring it up around bars in the Chicago area. She saw her hooking up with a guy in the ladies bathroom at a bar her and Jasper go to every once in awhile. I really wish that Rosalie would get Tanya completely out of her life, but I knew that they were friends, and nobody could change it.

And just a few days ago I found out something that would change Edward and mine's life. Our friends weren't the only ones with news.

I was broken out of my reverie when Edward paused in the doorway. The room was just the same, but my heart broke for the people who just had their own children buried. Edward and I walked forward with heavy hearts and tears welled up in our eyes.

We stopped by the little stone that said Declan Edward Cullen, and I knelt down over it. Flowers grew all around it, daisies, roses, tulips and other random flowers I couldn't identify. Edward knelt next to me and held my hand.

" He would have been three years old today." I whispered, my breath hitching in my throat.

Edward stared down at the stone, and he closed his eyes, tears falling gently onto the stone ground. I put my arm around his waist and he grabbed onto me and hugged me as tightly as he could. I felt his tears on my neck, and his hands were tense.

This was a very emotional moment. It made us think of all we could have, and how things could be so different right now. Slowly I felt Edward's walls tearing down as he cried.

" It's like, after I saw him so tiny, so, so tiny...I know how much he would have looked like us. He wasn't fully developed but I know." he cried softly, " And right now he could have been here with us, and we wouldn't have to be here standing by this stone."

" I know, Edward. I know." my voice was higher-pitched with the tears and emotions pouring out of me.

He pulled away slightly and wiped the tears from my face, I gently brushed his away. I felt his lips press against my closed eyelids and he held me close to him. I reached out and brushed my hand over the smooth, cold stone.

" It will be okay...Where ever he is, he knows how much we would have loved him, and how much we did love him even before we met him."

Edward ran his fingers through my hair and we sat down on the ground together for about an hour. I think leaving was the hardest part, knowing that we were leaving him behind in New York while we were in Chicago, but we wouldn't ever forget, and we would always come back here no matter what. Getting pregnant for the first time wouldn't be something to forget, even as years went on. Edward and I made this promise to be kept.

It had been one of the hardest times of my life, and I never felt so defeated, empty and sad than I had at that time in my life, but I knew that spending the rest of my life depressed wouldn't get me anywhere. Edward taught me that, because after that I really didn't feel like doing anything. I'd always felt it was my fault, but it wasn't.

The flight back felt really long, and I was really exhausted. We had flown second class and the flight was in the morning. We slept in a nice hotel, and I slept pretty well, but I still wanted more sleep. I knew why.

Edward led me himself through the airport half asleep, and we got our baggage. O'Hare was really surprisingly busy, and cars were packed everywhere, but we somehow found my dad in the mass of people and cars around us. My dad had picked us up and dropped us off at our studio apartment. We talked for a short while until I have him a hug goodbye and told him to be safe at work. When we walked into the apartment I just dropped my bag and went through the kitchen area and into the open area of the bedroom.

I'd meant to tell him on the trip, to maybe bring up the mood, hopefully. I wasn't sure about this, and this change came at the wrong time...again.

When I sat down on the bed, Edward then stepped in, looking worriedly at me.

" You sick, again? You slept quite well last night."

" I'm not sick."

Edward walked forward, pressing his hand to my forehead. " Are you sure?"

" I'm pregnant."

Suddenly his eyebrows shot into the air and his eyes widened.

" Yeah...I know we pick the worse times. We wanted to wait...But...Remember last month right after we got the entire apartment together, around the tenth? Well, when I got the medicine from the doctor she said-"

" You weren't sick?"

" No, no. Let me finish. I did have the flu, and when she gave me the meds, I forgot that even if you keep up with it, the birth control becomes defective until you stop taking the meds for a few days...And we had sex the one night when I only had one pill for my flu left, I was almost better."

" And even though I got you the morning after pill as extra protection, because we forgot a condom, it still didn't do anything because of the medicine you had for the flu messed it all up." Edward finished

" Yeah...I found out last week. I felt a little off and, I took two tests and I made a quick appointment. I wanted to make sure that I knew if I was or not before saying anything. I would have told you anyways, but I didn't want to say that I might be, and then go and find out I wasn't."

" You're really pregnant?" he asked quietly.

" Yeah... She said really early, I am just a month. I know this isn't ideal timing, you have your job and Law School all starting. And I just got hired at the Tribune. But it seems like this happens when we are busy."

Edward smiled and sat down on the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my temple.

" It's going to be great, Bella." he murmured.

" Really? Are you okay with this?"

" I am. And everything is going to be okay. How are you feeling about it?"

" I'm a little scared from what happened last time, but I don't feel stressed, or that I am freaking out. I feel good, and even better knowing this is okay with you."

His lips pressed against mine softly and I felt his hand on my stomach, gently rubbing.

" I'm so excited." he murmured.

I smiled and rested my forehead against his.

This _is_ going to be great

Telling our parents this time around wasn't scary or earth-shattering at all. All I could hear was squeals of happiness and congratulations left and right. They were all ecstatic for us, and that boosted me up even further. I felt so happy, genuinely happy. My mother was even excited and already talking about baby colors.

Edward and I had discussed the option of me going to see a therapist to make sure that I am kept at a good emotional state, and we even talked with our OBGYN doctor, and she had said that I really seemed to be doing great, and didn't think I would need to see someone. My doctor is Dr. Kirk, she has been really nice and Carlisle actually referred me to her as one of the best in Chicago.

With Edward starting Law School, and working, we knew this was a feat. He'd already started August 16th, and had class most of the day, and the rest of it he worked. Today was September 4th, also known as my three month date.

I had just the tiniest little bump, and I swear almost every night Edward would be found sleeping with his hand over my stomach. Both he and I were keeping everything stress free, and so far everything was going perfect.

Work for me has been going great, and I've been working steadily from eight in the morning until six in the evening, which works out great for me. Edward is usually out of the door by six thirty and is home around nine. His last class ends at four, and he works about four and a half hours at work after that. Edward's only days off from classes are the weekends, and he had Tuesday off, and I know on Friday he has a class ending at two. I know that they are really getting into speaking about cases, and also partaking in real ones just as input. Edward really isn't allowed to talk about it, which is policy. I get it, and I understand.

We both talked a lot about the baby, and what we will be doing when he/she is here. Edward and I both agreed that putting a newborn in day care was not a choice, and we wouldn't ever put that into consideration. My work basically alternates with days per week. One week I work Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. The next week I have, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. And the next week is Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Day wise, they both alternate, but time stays the same. Either way, I am free on Saturdays each time.

The first month after having the baby I will be taking a leave from work, and Edward would also have a leave from work, with pay, for about two weeks and be here at least by four in the evening because he still has classes. We knew it would be interesting, but it would work. Of course, our parents would help us out when they don't work, which I appreciate so much. We don't want to have to do daycare, and then our parents would get some time with the baby a little bit each week.

Today is Sunday, and I was able to get off work early, as was Edward, so that we could go to my doctor's appointment together. Edward and I walked confidently into the office and we sat down, waiting for our name to be called. It was two in the afternoon, clearly good time. We had basically gotten to work, both of us, at around eight, and we made sure every month that my doctor's appointments gave us work off early.

When we were called on Edward and I walked into the office. Dr. Kirk was in there waiting and looking over at my chart, smiling at us when we walked in.

" Edward, Bella, how are you both."

" Great, we are great." Edward stated, shaking her hand.

We talked for a short while until it was time for my ultrasound. I jumped slightly feeling the cold, blue gel on my abdomen, and I felt Edward's hand holding mine as she ran the detector thing over my stomach.

When the room was filled with a healthy, steady heartbeat I smiled. She moved it around, showing the developments of the baby and everything. We couldn't find out the gender yet, probably next month or the one after for a guess to even be made.

This was going great, and this time, I knew in my heart everything was going to be alright.

November 22nd

Tuesday

2011

Six months pregnant I think was looking pretty good unlike some pregnant women.

My stomach now had a round shape, but I actually really wasn't that big, and Dr. Kirk had said that since my mother carried me and was quite small, I probably took after her, but the baby was growing at a good rate and at six months the perfect size.

Edward and I had found out the gender and had seen that we were, in fact, having a boy. We were both happy about this, and were already talking names and such. This was all becoming so real, and it was actually happening. This was real.

My due day is February ninth, which isn't much far away.

Edward and I spent our 23rd Birthday at home, and it was just like any other birthday, although this one was mostly working and Edward in class. It was still a good day at the end. We both, like last year, had gone out and spent time with each other during the weekend.

With a deep sigh I pulled the blankets off of me, suddenly I felt them pulled back over by Edward.

" Snow day, sweetheart. Just got off the phones and we've got a foot out there and more to come."

" Are you serious?"

" Mhm."

" I wish I could sleep though, he's been kicking me all night." I murmured.

Edward got into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I was glad that nothing on me was swollen. My ankles and feet were fine, so were my hands and fingers, and my face was still as is. I didn't want to blow up like a damn balloon.

I felt his hand rest on my stomach where I felt another kick. I groaned and felt Edward lean down and place his lips over my bump.

" You shouldn't kick mommy while she is trying to sleep, little one." Edward whispered quietly.

It must have been ironic or something because I didn't feel any kicking following. It was creepy being able to feel him move, but suddenly I felt him still, almost as if he could hear Edward.

" Either you are a baby in the womb whisperer, or that is ironic because I think this kid finally fell asleep."

Edward softly kissed my stomach before leaning up to kiss my lips. I burrowed myself into his side and felt his hand gently brush over my stomach. I pulled away from him slowly and nestled my face into his neck.

" You've made me the happiest man alive, you know that?"

" It's my duty as a wife to make sure you are happy."

He tipped my face up and brushed his hands under my eyes. " You succeed, my tired angel."

" He must have your enthusiasm because he doesn't stop."

" I am calm, what are you talking about?" Edward argued.

" Not in your child and teen years. You were always all over the place."

Edward tickled my side and I jumped, " No, he's finally calmed down." I whined.

" I like snow days."

" So do I."

Then the phone rang, and Edward leaned over me to answer it. He put it to his ear after answering and laid back down.

" Hello...Yes, hi Alice...Mhm, she's right here."

Edward gave me the phone and I gave my greeting before I heard a loud girlish squeal.

" Guess who got promoted! I am now working as the personal assistant of RALPH LAUREN! Can you believe it, Bella! Oh my god, I am so excited right now, I just got the call and I had to tell you first!"

" Wow, that is...That's amazing Alice, congratulations!"

" Thanks! How's the baby? Everything been going good?"

" Yeah, everything has been great right now. February 9th is the due date."

" I'm so happy for you guys. How's Edward been?"

" Great. He's been amazing." I replied just as Edward kissed my forehead.

" That's awesome! Okay, well I have a lot of calls to make right now. Snow day and I still have to be working! I love you both, and little Cullen, give that belly a rub for me!"

I smiled. " We love you, too, Alice. Bye."

I hung up the phone and laughed. " Alice's happiness will never fade, I swear. You probably heard the entire conversation."

" I did, and congratulations to her. I'm happy that she is so successful, little pixie has always been a fashion genius, who knows where this is going to get her; probably her own fashion line in just a few years."

" Probably, this is, Alice."

All of our lives were falling into place perfectly. I couldn't have asked for better.

EPOV

Bella gave birth to Masen Anthony Cullen, on February 8th, 2012. He was born at 9:27 on a snowy morning. Six pounds, eight ounces and twenty inches tall, and looked just like us. He was unique in one very different way though.

Upon his eyes opening, we were made with a shocking discovery. He was born with heterochromia, which has to do with the recessive pigment in his one eye, this wasn't a bad thing, and he was able to see. But he was born with one green eye just like mine, and a brown eye just like Bella's. This had been shocking, it wasn't common, and definitely not something that ran in the family. Everyone was astounded by it.

He really was the perfect blend of both of us. He had Bella's tiny ears and lips, and he had my hair color and my nose.

All night Bella had been uncomfortable, and we predicted that she was going into labor. At around seven she had woken me up, just about fifteen minutes earlier then my alarm clock. She had been having contractions and they were coming quick and lasting about three minutes. On the drive there we called everyone and I called work for us both. I was glad it was a Tuesday because I didn't have to worry about class.

When we got to the hospital she was already dilated to six centimeters. And within two hours she had our son. Bella did an amazing job through everything, through the entire long pregnancy, and delivering him into the world.

Bella stayed the entire day at the hospital, and overnight, and she and Masen were released in the morning.

I already had the car seat set up for him and everything. When we walked into the apartment, this time there was an addition. Bella and I had a lot of things that our parents used for us as kids; changing table, cradle and the crib. We had bought a few other things, like of course sheets for the cradle, crib and blankets for him. We bought things for when we would give him a bath and just a few small toys probably when he is a few months older than now. We had bottles that were sterilized and baby formula. Bella really didn't want to breast feed, saying that even the thought was uncomfortable.

" Those just kept for me?" I'd teased her

She'd gone up a little bit in her cup size. I knew that because I could tell, and I enjoyed it quite a lot.

Unfortunately, we had to wait two months before having sex because Bella needed to heal. Gently I set the carrier on the counter, and Masen was fast asleep. He was just about the cutest baby I've ever seen. Bella walked over to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

" He looks so much like you." She murmured.

" Is that a good thing?"

" Very. I want little Edward's surrounding me."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her softly.

" Will you be okay with him if I take a shower." Bella asked me

" We'll be fine. Go ahead."

She brushed her fingertip across his tiny hand and walked to the bathroom. I knew she hadn't slept well in the hospital, she said that she'd missed me. The doctors apparently didn't want me staying the night, and I had to leave. But I left as late as I could and was there as early as possible.

I grabbed the handle on the carrier and pushed it back. Slowly he opened his eyes and stared right at me. I now wasn't just responsible for myself; I had this little guy to take care of now.

May 17th

With another year of school gone and with only two years left of law school left, I felt amazing.

Bella has gone back to work, but both of us have been spending time with Masen. One of us was with him during the day, and when we couldn't make it work then off to Grandma's and Grandpa's he went. Renee and Esme absolutely adored him to pieces, and my father had been ecstatic to have a grandson, as was Charlie.

Alice and Jasper have also spent time with Masen. When we have time we go over and have dinner with them at their house. Alice was made his godmother, and his godfather was Emmett. They were both a great choice, and Emmett loved spending time with Masen.

Rosalie and Emmett have been together still, and from what I know they are doing really good now. I haven't heard much about the bitch, Tanya, herself, but I imagined she wasn't very much around anymore, which made me happy. I didn't want her around people Bella and I spent time with.

I'd ran into her at work, making it very clear that I was married with a son, that happened about three weeks ago when she tried to come onto me when I was stocking cd's. The chapter of her in my life had been over for a really long time now. I was happy with Bella, she was the only women I would be with.

Both Bella and I have settled well into the role of parents, and Masen is a really great baby. He's not really a screaming baby. He makes loud whining noises, and he only screams when he is either waking up in the middle of the night, irritated, or up from a nap that didn't last. We have him on a strict schedule, and we don't really have issues with him being hungry unless, as I said, he wakes up at night.

When I walked into the house after work, it was two and I had opened up this morning at six, and already did an eight hour shift. When I got home I saw Bella passed out in bed with little Masen sleeping on her chest.

She was really an amazing wife and mom. Today she was off work, she'd gotten everything for today finished yesterday, and she seemed to do that when she could.

Suddenly I saw Masen stir and I quickly went to grab him before he screamed in her ear. His head rested on my shoulder and I patted his back. Bella sat up slowly, awoken from her sleep and probably me moving him.

" When was he last fed?"

" Two and a half hours ago. He's probably hungry."

I carried him to the kitchen and made a bottle and warmed it up. He squirmed a bit in my arms but I bounced a little bit to keep him somewhat happy. When the bottle was done I cradled him in my arms and he took to it right away, slurping it down. Bella smiled and I sat down on the bed, feeling her arms wrap around my neck from behind.

" It's amazing seeing you as a dad. A dad to my children at that."

" And you are a beautiful mother, Mrs. Cullen."

Bella smiled. " I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

I kissed her cheek and smiled.

April 6th

2014

BPOV

As I got out of the shower, I dried off quickly and put my hair up in the towel as I got dressed. I put on a pair of skinny jeans, a pair of black flats and a short sleeved purple fitted v-neck. I blow dried my hair and curled my hair nice, then sprayed a bit of hairspray and brushed my teeth. After I was finished with my makeup I walked out of the bathroom.

When I got into the kitchen I saw just about the cutest sight ever. Edward sat on the barstool at the other side of the counter, and was looking at the newspaper and eating lucky charms, dry, out of a bowl. Masen sat on his lap wearing a pair of his denim jeans, little converse and a black batman t-shirt. His bronze hair just as crazy as his father's today.

Edward had a few pieces of cereal on the counter that Masen was eating, and I walked over to them, smiling.

" Mornin' mama."

I kissed the top of his head and chastely kissed Edward. He set his newspaper down and took a sip of his coffee, giving Masen his sippy cup filled with apple juice. I poured a cup of coffee myself and leaned against the other side of the counter.

" Sleep good, beloved?"

This morning I'd woken up to a nice morning grope from Edward, and I'd smacked him in the jaw by accident in surprise. I smirked at him.

" Yes, I did."

Edward leaned forward and kissed me once more and Masen started whining so Edward set him down on the ground. He came around and wrapped his arms around my leg. I bent down and lifted him up, and he rested his head on my shoulder, his green and brown eyes staring up at me.

Life has been absolutely great from the moment that I married Edward, and it's been the best three, almost four, years of my life. I couldn't have asked for better.

Last year though, we had faced a loss in the family when Grandma Claire had a heart attack in her sleep and passed away. It had been a pretty bad time, and Grandpa Allen had been absolutely heartbroken after losing his wife. We were all very fortunate that she lived like she did though. She'd been an amazing grandmother, and we missed her dearly.

But Masen was really lucky to have a lot of his great grandparents around. They loved him so much, and he loved all of them.

Alice and Jasper have recently been trying for a baby, with no luck yet. Alice still had her job as a personal assistant, and both Edward and Jasper are graduating from Law School with very high honors. I was so proud of Edward, he'd worked his ass off to get where he is.

As for Emmett and Rosalie, Emmett proposed to her last winter on Christmas Eve, and Rose is working as a nurse at the hospital downtown. And Emmett actually just opened a gym, deciding that's what he wanted to do with his life. They were already living together and planning on getting married not this spring, but the next about a year from now.

Abigail and Allen are already happily married with a set of newborn twins. They were doing great from what Abigail said on the phone two days ago, and they were really happy. I was really happy for them, and we all were getting somewhere in life.

Edward and I are already twenty five, it was hard to believe, and I'd admit it. Masen turned two not too long ago, which was even harder to believe. He is an amazing kid, and he was ours.

Edward and I have gone through a lot. We went both went through heartbreak, we went through missing each other like hell, at the highest point of love, and the lowest point of life after losing our first son. And the happiest times in our life when we were married and had Masen.

If someone would have told me eight years ago, that this would have been my life; I probably wouldn't have ever believed it. Being married to Edward had been my dream since I'd been sixteen. I thought he'd never see me that way, that he would end up marrying Tanya and have children with her.

But I got my happy ending, because Edward loved me. I was his wife, he was my husband. Those terms would always send shivers down my spine.

It had been a very ambivalent time for Edward when he knew I loved him, but he loved me back in time. And now, standing next to him, with our son, I knew that we could get through anything, and that we would always be together.

We are best friends, husband and wife, and just…Edward and Bella.

This was my perfect forever.

**Authors Note- I hope I am not the only one who doesn't have dry eyes.**

**This moment is surreal, and today is the one year anniversary of Ambivalence, which is why this is posted today.**

**I really want to thank my reviewers; you get the biggest thank you out of everyone. The ones who get the most thank you's are the ones who stuck with me when the first pregnancy in the story happened, and when the miscarriage happened. The ones that stuck with me through EVERY single chapter trusted me and loved the story no matter what. That means more to me than I could ever express in words, thank you seems inadequate right now, but it's all I can offer. Thank you so much.**

**And what kind of bitch would I be if I didn't mention the inspiration for this story. Yeah, Taylor Swift's ' You Belong With Me', basically made this monster. The idea would have never sparked if I didn't hear that god forsaken song. It's true, even as cheesy as it sounds.**

**SEQUEL?**

**I know a lot of you don't want to let go of this story, I heard a lot about that in the reviews last chapter, but this story is over. Edward and Bella are together, they got their happily ever after and there really just isn't much to tell after that.**

**NOW!**

**DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! I HAVE A NEW STORY PROBABLY BEING POSTED IN THE SPRING OR SUMMER!**

**I don't have many details hammered out yet, but this is a rough idea.**

**Bella lives in Forks with her re-married father Charlie, with his new wife Sue, and her kids; Jacob, Seth and Leah. They are a happily merged family. Bella, age 17, has never really been in a relationship, but when the Cullen's come to town that is quickly changed.**

**Bella is intrigued by the dark, but seemingly nice, Edward Cullen. But he has quite a past behind him that was left in Chicago that haunts him. **

**Can Bella find out the man behind the dark clothing, piercings and tattoo's? **

**I hope that sounds…good? Looks like I am going for darker stories these days**

**I STILL HAVE A W.I.P GOING ON.**

**Deep Into The Darkness, find it in my profile!**

**Put me on AUTHOR ALERT for new stories, I am not even a fourth of the way done in the Twilight world, and I love hearing from familiar reviewers!**

**THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR READING AND REVIEWING.**

**Now! I want to hear from EVERYONE. PLEASE leave a REVIEW. Tell me your favorite chapter, favorite moment, favorite all time event in the story. I want to know EVERYTHING.**

**I WILL BE ANSWERING TO EVERY REVIEW! HAVE QUESTIONS? Ask them, and I will definitely get back to you, asap!**

**I love you guys!**

**Sincerely,**

**Twilightx28.**


End file.
